#i barely know anything about tengoku

[kitsunesfandomtime]

Hated by Life Itself (Rough Draft/Concept)

Summary: A young AFO wonders why he is still alive and his purpose for his continued existence. He decides to try and figure it out despite everything else saying he should die.

Inspired by: @tengoku-izumi, @kstbj and song this is a rough draft and not the completed fic. I just like sharing since it might change so enjoy~

Completed Version: Link

Since he was born it felt as if life itself abhorred his very existence. Blood and death followed his every path as nightmares of the dead sneered and screamed at him. There are times he wondered if he should listen to their words, grab his own spike and ram it into his throat. To end it all as there is only more death in this world.

Only to remember that Yoichi is still there.

He would die without him, unable to fight or defend himself. While he didn’t care about his own life, always eating second and prioritizing the other, he can’t bring himself to abandon Yoichi. It was a selfish thought, he is sure, that he didn’t care much about himself and yet can’t let go of his little brother. As the only reason he could think of if Yoichi died is, he wouldn’t like it.

Little brother. It was Yoichi that learned that term after he brought all those books. It was also when he chose to name his little brother. As the only kindness the world has ever gifted him despite everything else wishing for his death. Yet he still hasn’t chosen a name for himself, even refusing his little brother's attempt to name him.

He didn’t need one.

A name is something for those that have an identity, a dream, or actually have some light to look forward to. His brother says live peacefully, be kind, even to his own detriment and while at times have gotten annoyed enough to roughly shove or hurt his brother. He admired it, that naivety was in a weird sense sweet because he wished he could live peacefully. What a wonderful thing it would be if he could just live like that, but he knows he can’t.

Every radio talks about a new death, every TV they find has another riot and chaos of people fighting those with powers. There are marches of people who sneer at the paranormal, looking at him and implying if has power they will kill him. Living Peacefully was never an option for them, but he can at least let Yoichi believe in that. It not like he cares what strangers think only that Yoichi lives and is at his side, then its enough.

Though he notes they both have been growing. Yoichi has more comics now after they found a bookstore to hide in. He goes to his side and reads.

And in that moment also realized, like the hero, if they died there would be no one there to mourn them. No one would care about their existence and for once the thought did bother him because it was unfair. Unsure of what to think of these feelings he keeps it close to his chest listening and trying to learn more of the world. Only to learn of the ‘Glowing baby’.

…He was loved. He was born with mutant powers but everyone loved him. They adored him and he made changes. Everyone would care if he died, he would be a martyr. 

He saw red, wanting to scream why everyone loves him? Why didn’t anyone help him or his little brother? What made them so different!? His hands trembling as he stared at the screen as this ‘baby’ was actually his age if anything a bit younger. Wanting to ask why he was born so loved while he is in the streets with scraps barely surviving.

Because you’re a monster!

He flinches. Somehow a voice echoed in his head causing him to stumble awat from the TV, knowing he was getting a few looks. His head was pounding, able to hear the jeers and sneers, they were so loud… He just wanted to live for his little brother. He just wants what everyone else has so won’t feel so terrible and is only trying to survive while people keep trying to kill him. Is that so wrong? Was he that terrible?

Why was he even alive?

“...It’s all pointless isn’t it?” He whispers more to himself as he just listens to those voices. A deep breath and a sigh as he looks at the TV screen. Thinking about the comic book they read reminded him of the villain. The villain wasn’t alone. If he's already been a monster since birth then he should embrace that role. Then everyone would have to look at him then when they have nothing, he can show he can care for them.

No one will be able to ignore him. He won’t feel lonely anymore.

He needs to return to Yoichi. Before he does this he wants to be with him, he won’t tell him his plans might fail. If he dies because of failure at least he wants to be sure that Yoichi will be fine for a while. Because in the end if Yoichi dies, no one would even know or even care that he existed either.

________

“Yoichi I brought back food,” The unnamed young man called out with a grocery bag. Of course he had to mug some drunks for the money since no one wants to hire some rats off the street. One of the food though was a nice donation from that kind restaurant, the man always left nice food in the back. He wishes he could pay him back somehow, but if he succeeds then he will try his best to repay him back.

“And not all of it from stolen money. The guy that puts out free food in the back had a full meal out today he must be doing well,” He notes as he takes out that first since is sure Yoichi already making a face at the idea of food obtained dubiously. But the moment he mentioned that specific man his eyes lit up already eagerly holding his hand out to snatch the food. Opening and devouring it with his hand.

“Hey! He brought us forks we should at least try to eat it,” he laughs just a bit and Yoichi stops himself. Looking a bit embarrassed but to be fair they didn’t know manners they only learned by watching other people. Usually through a window and that's how they even learned about utensils, regardless Yoichi did accept the plastic fork and knife to eat his noodles a bit more cleanly. While the older brother sat beside to eat the leftover Katsudon enjoying the meal a bit he thinks about how could set his little brother up.

“Honestly, you can probably visit that guy sometimes too. He usually has a consistent schedule and thankfully not too many people cause trouble there,” He noted. Watching Yoichi look up in surprise as this was the first time he ever suggested Yoichi do anything by himself. “It's just a thought. Eventually I might die so it's good to know how to care for yourself.”

Yoichi suddenly sputtered and choked, looking shocked. Was it really that surprising? There were tons of attempts on their life-

“You aren’t going to die! Don’t just say stuff like that, you don’t want to die do you?” Yoichi questioned with concern and honestly… The older brother was a bit dumbfounded. Staring at his little brother confused at what he means about how he doesn’t want to die. Slowly tilting his head he thinks about how he doesn’t care if he does die but guessed it not like he is actively trying.

“I mean if I obtained an immortal body I guess that wouldn’t be an issue,” he answers quite bluntly. Yoichi’s concern turns to annoyance as he leans over and smacks his shoulder as if had just been tricked.

“You’re an ass! That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it. Are you just messing with me by talking about death?” Yoichi questions and he honestly just shrugs. Likely only frustrating his little brother more but he didn’t exactly know how to explain it. Thinking a bit more carefully about how he is supposed to communicate his words.

“I am serious. If I was immortal it would be nice, I would be able to take care of you forever without any issues. I’m sure you like being immortal as you could read all the comics and books in the world,” He informed him, though his little brother seemed annoyed. At least he wasn’t saying he wanted to die or anything. He’s just indifferent to the idea if he was honest but he would avoid it if he could. So that should be satisfactory.

“But honestly… If either of us died, the world itself likely wouldn’t care.” The unnamed teen muses and Yoichi freezes. He doesn’t say anything, just a long moment of silence because honestly it's the truth. Yoichi may be smart and probably get along well in society but it won’t allow him in unless something huge happens. They see his white hair and they steer clear of him right away just on the possibility he’s a paranormal.

“...But I don’t really care about the dying part.” He finally admits watching his little brother freeze, “I wouldn’t pursue it of course, you still need me and I would do anything to avoid it as there are things I still want to do. But at the same time, I would rather you live over me if given a chance that’s all it is.”

“Shut up! What is wrong with you!?” Yoichi screams and the anger did surprise him. It was rare to see his little brother so riled up and when examines his face he was trembling. As if hadn’t expected this at all, his words came out of nowhere. “You’re always selfish and demanding the hell you mean you rather I live over you!?”

Selfish…? Demanding…? What does that have to do with this conversation?

Oh! Likely because he ignores Yoichi whenever he tries to stop him from killing their enemies or any of his demands to be ‘good’. He is quite stubborn like that but he didn’t see anything wrong with what he said, not like he has any issues with Yoichi personally either. He’s known that his brother is just like this and he accepts him he isn’t going to stop caring about him. He continues eating like Yoichi isn’t looking on the brink of crying. Honestly confused at why he is making such a big deal about his statement.

“Well, I just wouldn’t like living without you alive.” It was blunt and to the point. To show he is still the same and selfish brother that he always knew. Watching those green eyes widened as tries to register his words. Then they filled with tears and a broken laugh escaped him as if had said something funny.

“The hell is that supposed to mean? That doesn’t make sense… You don’t make sense,” Yoichi whispers and in the end he guessed it was true if he said it didn’t. But in the end he was selfish and didn’t care about what was the correct way to care about someone. Some might think he is being selfless but it is not as if he wants to die for his little brother. He just prefers not to entertain the idea of being completely alone.

“You don’t need to understand it just how I feel. But you probably shouldn’t cry over your ramen. It 's going to end up extra salty,” He points out. Watching his little brother snort as wipes his eyes then goes to eat the remaining ramen. At the least they talked it out even if his brother started yelling at him and getting emotional suddenly. But in a weird way, he did feel closer and he was happy at that moment.

He hopes he can succeed and eventually they no longer have to live off of scraps.

[rhytmrocket]

on the limits of mahou tsukai

mahou tsukai is the player character in the minigame of the same name, the first game of set three of rhythm tengoku. he is an apprentice wizard who uses the power of waltz to make flowers bloom and make children happy (character album, stage 3). this much is canon, this much we know. but how far can this “waltz magic” go?

we know that when an input is slightly offbeat, mahou makes a mistake and summons a monster, presumably made of plant matter, which eats the budded plant. while the head of the monsters may be interpreted as a globular flower, such as an allium, a fruit or berry, such as the false strawberry, or a predatory plant, such as a flytrap, any plant matter interpretation suggests that our wizard friend has power over more than just the flowers we see in-game.

the question is, what are the limits of his power?

now, this explanation is basically entirely my own headcanon, as there’s not much canon to go off of (as with any non-returning character from tengoku) so, just keep in mind that this is from the deep caverns of my mind and said caverns alone.

i believe that mahou can create and control any living, organic matter in the taxonomic kingdom Plantae.

or, has the potential to. he is, canonically, an apprentice.

well, what do i mean by this?

let’s start from the back. “living, organic matter in the taxonomic kingdom Plantae,” any organism classified under kingdom Plantae is affected by his magic. this includes moss, ferns, angiosperms, and gymnosperms— basically anything you’d identify as a plant. algae are an edge case, but i personally exclude it as i was taught that algae are classified under Protista, not Plantae. but, i would understand if one were to count algae, as they do perform photosynthesis and were classified as plants until just recently. living organic matter, now, any matter that already fits the set criteria would be organic by definition. however, i choose to make a point to only include living matter. i do not think that he can control dead plant matter— he can’t revive dead plants or make them grow regardless. dead plants are dead organisms— dead and buried, they are dead. mahou knows phytokinesis, not necromancy. going on from that, he has no ability on processed plant matter, like paper or planks. those are dead, and processed far beyond recognition, so they’re out.

ok, we’ve got our definition of what’s within his domain, now what about “create and control”?

“control,” easy enough, he can make plants germinate, grow, flower (if a flowering plant), produce fruit, cones, spores, etc (if applicable), and he can make them do so in most any possible manner, such as grabbing, wrapping, decorating, whatever you can think of.

“create” does break a few laws of physics, but it’s magic and i think it’d be more fun if he could make a little flower in his hand so sue me.

so, he can summon and manipulate any taxonomic-plants that are alive. he has the potential to, at least, he’s not a professional. and, being a non-professional, he doesn’t have 100% complete control over his powers

time to talk emotions!

i think him as a very sentimental person, very emotional. and as we all should know, emotions can be difficult to control. you know what this results in?

use your imagination.

i actually have this little headcanon that the plant monsters when you hit a “barely” are because of a loss of composure from the wizard, from being off-beat. a sudden panic, i see it as.

i sure hope you imagined something cute and silly and wholesome and not something absolutely monstrous and terrifying! that’s my job!

so, that’s my take on the limits of mahou tsukai. in theory, he’d be quite the powerful person— plantae is a large kingdom. with some honing he’d be quite intimidating. but, he’s not quite there yet, i believe. he can’t just create a whole tree from the ground, for instance, and he still spawns those plant monsters when he makes a mistake. big oversight plz patch

[moonrisecalamityretreat]

Checkmate

With heavy breaths and burning lungs, everyone can feel as the adrenaline wears off. Your limbs ache, bodies sore, and you're all left exhausted after today's ordeal. From an airship crash to being chased through the woods- and now escaping the burning remains of Happy Smiles Health? It was a lot to say the least. And your bodies were feeling it.

There’s nothing more you would all love than to sit down and finally rest… 

But before you could have time for yourselves at long last, two masked figures approach you, a few more following to check up on you all. A man with brown hair and a blue mask points over all of you, counting, before sighing with relief.

“Are you all okay? No one grievously injured?”

And at his side was a taller man with hair the color of the snow on the ground. His own mask was a bright red and resembled the shape of a dog’s skull. His voice and tone betrayed the more unsettling mask that adorned his face.

“We can get you all some first aid!! I have some doggie band-aids!!” 

So, once more, all of you can only accept the assistance and treatment from the agents of whatever minor injuries you’ve received from the escape. Maybe it was comforting to some, irritating for others that you’re still being coddled, but either way, it was still nice to know that it was all over now for real. No more having to dread another phase of this godforsaken game. No more having to expect another hurdle happening. No more having to solve a tragedy you never asked to be in.

It was finally all over…

“You can all rest easy now. The game is over, and all we have to do now is rebuild again. That’s the only thing we can do from here after all, right?”

“Just like we did before when we were kids right, Cerberus!? If we did it before, we can do it again!!”

Even with that, though, it looks like there were still things needing to be addressed.

You now know most if not all about the Lost Lambs, but… Who exactly was 1101K9? You already know that they seem to exist to keep peace, but beyond that, you barely knew anything of the people who saved you.

Whether you wanted the question answered or not, while you were being treated and watched over by the agents, a helicopter comes into view, and eventually lands itself. A tall man steps out, with four escorts accompanying him, as he adorns a white and gold mask of a gryphon…

…A gryphon? That’s not a canine. That’s far from being one.

Still, all you could do is watch with curiosity, and surprisingly, Hanji seems to look just as confused as well.

“Boss…?”

Has Hanji never seen their boss in person before?

“Looks like you have done a good job here, Chupacabra. Everyone else, too.

As for the rest of you…”

The newcomer addresses all the survivors, looking over you all, before letting out a shallow exhale.

“...I’m especially glad you all came out alive, as well.”

Not the best outcome, he thinks, but it was still a better result than two games wiping out everyone before it stops on the third one. A killing game may have still started, but an attempt to nip it in the bud was still taken.

And that’s all he could ever ask for. But… who was he, anyway?

“Well… I shouldn’t keep all of you in the dark any longer, no?”

The mystery is short-lived as he finally reaches up to his mask, promptly pulling it off…

…to reveal an older looking man, long hair tousled like a lion’s. Still, though, just looking at him didn’t answer much, so he speaks up once more.

“Let me introduce myself, at the very least. My name is Madara Tengoku, the founder of 1101K9… and, well, CEO of Golden Gates Conglomerate, if you live in Japan. Normally, it is bad practice to recklessly show my face like this… but, I hoped this would reassure you that I am a figure you can trust.

You see… My son, Risumaru… He ended up getting caught up in the last killing game. A death he shouldn't have had to have chosen in the first place…”

[fzzr]

What I'm Watching, Spring 2023 Anime Season

New Stuff:

Oshi no Ko (My Star) - I don't want to say anything about this in case it spoils someone. What the actual fuck. Watching.

Edomae Elf (Otaku Elf) - I've been asking for elf-in-real-world aesthetic for a while. There doesn't appear to be like, a plot, but I like the idea!

Isekai de Cheat Skill wo Te ni Shita Ore wa, Genjitsu Sekai wo mo Musou Suru: Level Up wa Jinsei wo Kaeta (I Got a Cheat Skill in Another World and Became Unrivaled in The Real World, Too) - With a light novel title like that, I needed to at least see what's going on. If it gets boring I'll drop it.

Isekai One Turn Kill Neesan: Ane Douhan no Isekai Seikatsu Hajimemashita (My One-Hit Kill Sister) - It's not exactly a super creative twist on the formula (there was one with the guy's mom before) but what the hell, there's some potential quality here. Sticking with it for now or until it crosses over the Rule D line.

Jigokuraku (Hell's Paradise) - It's MAPPA, I basically owe them a watch no matter what. Plus there's always room for at least one edgy anime in my lineup each season.

Kaminaki Sekai no Kamisama Katsudou - I went in expecting this to be bad (like, BAD bad) but I'm so perplexed that I guess I'll watch some more? Worst CGI this side of Gibiate though.

Kanojo ga Koushaku-tei ni Itta Riyuu (The Reason Why Raeliana Ended up at the Duke's Mansion) - This is a cross between the Villainess and Reincarnated as a Nobody microgenres. I don't feel like I know much at all about the characters after one episode, but I want to see where they take the concepts.

Kimi wa Houkago Insomnia (Insomniacs After School) - Slow and cute and relatable. I'm told it gets emotional later. Anyway I'm in.

My Home Hero - Another candidate for edgy show of the season. I didn't expect so much suspense.

Skip to Loafer (Skip and Loafer) - Small town girl in the big city, odd couple, wholesome romance... yeah this might be just right for me.

Tengoku Daimakyou (Heavenly Delusion) - I thought this would be science fiction social commentary time. Maybe it is, but it's interesting one way or another.

Yamada-kun to Lv999 no Koi wo Suru (Loving Yamada at Lv999) - This is looking interesting! A lot of style and things going on.

Otonari ni Ginga (A Galaxy Next Door) - This originally wasn't on my list at all due to "children" and "show about making manga". I decided to give it a shot in the end and it's cute enough with just enough of a hook that maybe I'll actually like it.

Dead Mount Death Play - Another latecomer to my list. It impressed me with the premise and action scenes in the first episode, and I'm still looking forward to more reverse Isekai.

Sequels:

Birdie Wing: Golf Girls' Story Season 2 - Hell yeah, more lesbians doing wacky golf.

Dr. Stone: New World - Bill Nye the Caveman Guy on a boat? Sure!

Kimetsu no Yaiba: Katanakaji no Sato-hen (Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba Swordsmith Village Arc) - It's more Demon Slayer, everyone is watching this.

Carryovers:

Kubo-san wa Mob wo Yurusanai (Kubo Won't Let Me Be Invisible) - The most I've been able to deal with a bulli anime, due to barely being that. Delayed across seasons due to COVID.

Itai no wa Iya nano de Bougyoryoku ni Kyokufuri Shitai to Omoimasu. 2 (BOFURI: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, so I'll Max Out My Defense. Season 2) - More of the same, but still good. Delayed across seasons due to COVID.

Kidou Senshi Gundam: Suisei no Majo Season 2 (Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury Season 2) - My first real foray into GUNDAM, carrying on from Fall 2022.

Hall of Shame (things I dropped after one episode):

Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu (The Dangers in My Heart) - The main character self-identifies as a school shooter and they put him in social cringe situations. I didn't even make it through episode 1.

Mahou Shoujo Magical Destroyers - Over the top magical girl parody! If only it was good!

[puppypaw-wc]

random rhythm heaven facts i know off the top of my head for some reason

uh i’m bored so. have random rhythm heaven facts that i just. know. for some reason.

despite being the only game in the series to not have any lyrical remixes, ds is tied with fever for the most original lyrical songs, with each having five. ds has thrilling! is this love?, love ooh ooh paradise, young love rock n’ roll, struck by the rain, and that’s paradise; fever has tonight, lonely storm, dreams of our generation, i love you my one and only, and beautiful one day.

i emphasize “original” because without that, megamix beats fever and ds, having around eleven lyrical songs in total; only counting original lyrical songs, megamix has three (tokimeki no story/lush remix’s music, i’m a lady now/honeybee remix’s music, and um. whatever machine remix’s song is. in the english version though it only has one original lyrical song).

tengoku has four lyrical songs: karate man’s song (which like. idk if it even has a name- does it get name privileges-), the bon odori, honey sweet angel of love, and wish - can’t wait for you.

the fastest song is in ds; big rock finish c’s bpm is 290. the second fastest is also a ds game, namely remix 4, with,,, i believe 222 bpm?

the slowest game is built to scale and built to scale 2; at their slowest, their bpm is 60.

while endless games’ bpm is all over the place due to speeding up, clap trap literally has no (or at least no known) bpm. somehow.

no i don’t know anything about music.

i do, though, know remix 10′s bpm off the top of my head. it’s 166 in case you were curious. remix 10 ds’ bpm is 160. remix 6,,, it’s 138.7 or something like that? idk the exact decimal number. left-hand remix’s bpm is 120 i think. i have no idea on right-hand remix’s. and final remix starts at 160 bpm, increases to 170 at the end, and finally, ends at 180 bpm.

i have memorized the controls for literally every game. no i will not list them here because that’d take too long.

lockstep is the only ds keep-the-beat game to not have flick controls.

barelys (early/late inputs that are too early/late to count as hits) usually count as misses, but there’s a few exceptions to this:

some games will have barelys allow you to pass the practice, but then not actually count in the game itself. the main offender of this is flipper-flop. flipper-flop’s barelys make it so hard to perfect dear god-

in ds, three games’ perfect campaigns count barelys as hits, those being shoot-’em-up, frog hop, and lockstep. despite this, they still count as misses when playing normally, meaning you can get a perfect that wouldn’t be a superb. that always happens to me when i play lockstep 2.

most games have clear indicators for when you got a barely, though some are relatively similar to a miss, but some games have literally no indicator of barelys. unsurprisingly, all but one are in ds:

the games in question are glee club (sometimes; i’m guessing it’s when it’s still a barely but it’s right on the line between barely and early/late hit) moai doo-wop, love lizards, space soccer, and, in fever, shrimp shuffle. this means that a perfect campaign can end despite everything seeming completely fine. (sometimes you can tell you got it wrong, but it can be difficult, personally the only one i can tell in is shrimp shuffle and also space soccer sometimes).

barelys always count as misses in megamix. due to this, barelys mess up perfects on shoot-’em-up, frog hop, and lockstep. yet for some reason, barelys still let you pass flipper-flop’s practice. i have no idea why since in literally every other instance they’re a fail, but they do.

there’s like three beats for keep-the-beat games (games where you have to press a/tap/whatever every beat). this is easily seen in megamix’s final remix, where there’s a part where it smoothly transitions between flock step, frog hop, and bunny hop, and then cues you into marching orders (which is likely just due to the bunny hop part ending with a long jump).

the main beat is shared between almost every keep-the-beat game. all the undeniable keep-the-beat games use it.

rhythm rally and air rally,,, i think both have the same beat? i don’t know though. i don’t know if either of them can even count as keep-the-beat games tbh.

donk-donk and shrimp shuffle both have unique beats, which i guess brings it up to four different beats.

yet again, no, i do not know what any of this means.

there’s eight karate man games (both of tengoku’s, both of ds’, both of fever’s, and both of megamix’s original karate man games). a karate man game has appeared in literally every game and i don’t know why.

fan club’s bpm is like 132 or something like that? i mean that’s at least what rhythm heaven remix editor says the “ooh”’s bpm is at i think. it might be 162. i really don’t remember.

i’ve memorized the entirety of remix 10, remix 10 ds, and remix 6. so that’s a thing. though sometimes remix 6 messes me up when i’m just trying to remember it without playing. i can’t memorize megamix’s medley remixes for the life of me.

i’ve also memorized remix 8 because of course i have, who’s surprised at this point?

quiz show is a game that exists. it’s interesting in that you don’t have to follow rhythm at all. it’s a repeat-after-me game, but all that matters is that you press the button(s) the same amount of times.

it also ends if you get a question wrong, and unless it was the last one, that gives you an immediate try again. it’s one of three games to end prematurely, the other two being the night walk games (night walk 2 can also end prematurely).

it only has music playing at the beginning for some reason.

did i mention it got into megamix instead of an actually good game? instead of an actual rhythm game? in rhythm heaven?

megamix’s english dubbing sucks.

they seemingly had a low budget, so i will cut them some slack, but that doesn’t stop the fact that it’s terrible.

the title cards for games use the same few fonts, while in previous games they nearly all had original fonts.

none of the original songs got dubbed. instead they’re just instrumental. and dear god do i hate it. thus, with english audio, the only remix song is i’m a lady now, which is in english in all versions.

space dance and marching orders. just,,, space dance and marching orders. dear god.

luckily, and possibly due to the dubbing, megamix has the option to change between english and japanese audio. i have no idea if that’s only in the english version or if it’s in other languages’ translations, but it’s nice either way.

ds just straight-up lies to you. at the beginning of the game, it says it’s completely controlled with the touch screen, but then in the game right before remix 10, the r-button is used.

due to this rockers 2 sucks on emulator.

ds has too many repeat-after-me games, i can think of five off the top of my head. ds’ repeat-after-me games also aren’t even that good? moai doo-wop sucks, shoot-’em-up and love lab are fine i guess, i like freeze frame, and drummer duel’s pretty fun (though i’m pretty sure it’s just spam? is this spam heaven now? where did the rhythm go?).

this probably doesn’t make sense to like ninety percent of you. 😔