#i bought a variety pack of rolling papers and i was even right on one of the flavors i got!

[thestarmaker]

As dogshit as today has been I did have a dream last night abt getting a package and it did come in today. So that's nice 😌

[hoodharlow]

Stuck with Nowhere to Go

El Novio Quarantine Edition: Part 1

AN: This is part one of El Novio week and I'm gonna be posting a new part for this mini series everyday until April 17. Thank you to everyone that has been supporting me and following Cal and Claudia's story. I love y'all so mucha nd hope y'all enjoy this.

Requested?

Warnings: smut, brief quarantine talk, a small arguement. and overall Claudia being h word for Cal

Word Count: 3.1 k

Calum gently pushed Claudia against the mattress, getting in a more comfortable position as they devoured each other. With one hand balancing himself, so he wouldn't squish Claudia, he used the other to unbutton the flannel she wore. He slid his hand inside her shirt and gave her breast soft squeeze before sliding down to her soaked-through panties.

Frustrated with his teasing touches, Claudia tried to roll him onto the mattress. But he wouldn't budge.

"Cal," She whined against his lips, jutting her hips against his to feel some sort of relief.

"Pretty girl, I know, but your parents are across the hall." Calum mumbled before kissing down her neck.

"It's been three weeks. Please," She sighed. "I'll be quiet."

"Fine, but you have to be quiet. For our sake." She eagerly nodded at him before he continued. "I'm only going to eat you out okay?"

"But—"

"Later okay? When we get to our house, you can have your way with me. I promise." He held out his pinky to her.

"Okay." She pouted, wrapping her pinky around his.

Calum sat on his knees and slipped off his shirt. He tossed it to the side before towering over her once more. A giggle escaped Claudia when he sponged kisses all over her face.

Having enough of his teasing, she pulled his lips back to hers. She wrapped her leg over his waist, helping her stay balanced as she grinded herself against him. Claudia was basking in having the upper hand that she didn't feel Calum's fingers slip in her panties.

He skillfully slipped his ring and middle fingers in her, causing her to loudly gasp and stop all her moments.

"What's wrong, pretty girl?" He whispered in her ear, making her whine. “Want these off?” Calum asked her, toying with the waistband of her panties.

“Please.” She nodded eagerly. He gently patted her ass so she could lift her hips up.

Once Calum slipped her panties off, he situated himself in front of her core. “All this for me pretty girl?” Calum asked. He placed soft kisses on the insides of her thighs. She squirmed at the feeling of his lips. They got closer and closer to where she needed him the most.

She let out an inaudible gasp of pleasure when Calum licked her. She tried closing her legs, but Calum’s grip on them kept her in place. He softly moaned at her taste and savored her, taking his time with his tongue. He pushed one of her legs to her chest, giving him better access to her.

He inserted another while he pressed his thumb on her clit. Claudia felt something build up in her. She felt pleasantly overwhelmed with Calum’s fingers and tongue. Calum felt it too. He sped up his fingers and circled his thumb on her clit roughly.

She moaned out, not caring who heard her, but he grabbed a pillow and covered her face. Calum lapped up her release. He dropped her legs down and laid next to her.

“Happy album release day,” Claudia whispered excitedly after catching her breath.

He grumbled his response, making her giggle. He rolled to his side and traced his thumb under her bottom lip, giving her a quick peck. He got up to the bathroom to finish himself off, but Claudia had other ideas.

“No, let me,” Claudia said. She sat up and pulled him back by the waistband of his boxers. She brightly up at him, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Se me antoja un chorizo.”

“The kitchen is downstairs, Claudia.” He told her prying her hands off him.

“Cal, please let me suck your dick.” She fake cried.

“No, go get ready. We were supposed to be on the road by now. But someone doesn’t know how to keep her hands to herself.” He said before closing her bathroom door. He popped his head out once more. “You better be ready when I’m done.”

***

Calum watched Claudia skip down the steps of Ashton's house when it finally hit him. The last he saw her wear the dress she currently wore was when they went to Coachella the year before. It was probably his favorite dress on her, even if he's only seen her in it once.

"That's the last of them." Claudia said sliding onto the passenger seat. She has baked 'CALM' cakes for the guys in their favorite flavors along with sugar cookies shaped in their initials and in their instruments.

She took off her mask and reached for her now watered down iced coffee. She made a face and set it down in the cup holder. "This is nasty. I fucking hate almondmilk." she mumbled before taking another sip.

"Why are you still drinking it?"

"I have to finish it. It was like five bucks."

Calum shook his head, hiding his smile. He reached for his army green Hydro Flask and took a long sip of water. He capped it and started the car. Pulling the car into reverse, he gripped Claudia's head rest a little tighter as he felt her gaze on him. As he got out of the spot, he watched Claudia shift around in her seat.

"You really have a parallel parking kink." Calum laughed as they left Ashton's neighborhood.

"I do not." Claudia scoffed, crossing her arms.

"Keep telling yourself that. Your tits don't lie." He said, pinching one of her nipples. She smacked his hand away as he checked that there weren't any cars before turning into the main road.

"The AC isn't even on so can't say you're cold."

"Whatever."

Calum shook his head and drove to the nearest Target. When they got there, Claudia grabbed a homemade disinfectant wipe from her bag and cleaned their cart. They went straight to the electronics section so Calum could get a record player for the live stream later in the evening. The needle broke in the one he had and since Ashton demanded that they play the album in vinyls, he had to get a new record player.

Claudia took the cart after he placed the record player in the shopping cart. She still felt awkward shopping for pads in front of him. They agreed to meet in the alcohol aisle after she hopefully found some pads. Tampons weren't an option. Pandemic or not, the only thing she was having inside of her was Calum.

“They may not have toilet paper but least they have White Claws.” Calum told Claudia as two boxes, one of only black cherry flavor and the other variety pack because Claudia only drank tangerine flavor.

"I managed to get one thing of pads, so it's something." She told him, covering the pads with the other groceries. "I'm just lucky my period ended last week. I have a month to worry about getting more. You have dog food right? Because there's none in the aisles."

"Yeah, bought some when we got back from Medelyn's baby shower, water and toilet paper too." He nodded his head over to the shopping cart. "Is that everything? And what your parents needed too?"

Claudia looked over their shopping cart. It wasn't much but it was enough since the stores set limits on how much to buy because of the lack of ability to restock.

"I think we're good. If we need something we can drive back and steal from Ashton's garden." she joked.

While they waited in line, Claudia thought about how quick her life changed in less than two weeks. Her landlord practically kicked her, Dulce and Sara out and wanted them out by the time spring break started because of mandatory stay at home orders. She was lucky though. Calum took her in and for the meantime she was going to live with him. Though just last week Diego told her to come home. It took her a lot of convincing, but Calum ended up going with her too.

"Your total is $132.76." the cashier told them.

Claudia was barely pulling out her card as Calum scanned his phone in front of the pin pad. He thanked them and nodded Claudia to keep up.

"We agreed that I was going to pay groceries since you don't let me pay for anything else." She told him as he put the groceries in his car.

"I didn't agree to shit." He furrowed an eyebrow.

"Yuh-huh you nodded and waved me off."

He stayed silent, trying to remember if he did. Then it hit him. "Was it when we ordered Mikko's? Because I thought you meant you were paying for that."

"Of course you did, your cheap ass doesn't pay for sushi." she mumbled to herself. "Well I'm paying for groceries from now on."

"I don't like it when you spend money for us when I can pay for them. Especially now that we're both basically jobless. You need that money for school, Claudia." Calum said as they pulled up to the In-N-Out drive thru across the street from Target.

"And I don't like you paying for things that I can afford too." She argued back, but Calum ignored her since he was ordering their lunch.

He had his card ready to pay so there was no way that he was going to let her pay. When he reached the window the computer crashed and they were only accepting cash. Claudia pulled out a twenty, knowing that Calum never carries cash on him unless they're outside of California. He begrudgingly took it and gave it to the cashier.

***

Claudia considered herself a patient person. An elderly person taking their time in front of the ATM, no problem. Her getting cut in line at Starbucks because she was answering a text from Calum and not paying attention to the line, not an issue. Where she did lose her patience was when she would get stuck in traffic.

“The San Ysidro border is faster than this.” Claudia groaned, dropping in her seat after poking her head out of the sun roof.

“Well we would have avoided traffic if someone didn’t need to go back our place to get a fucking coloring book.” Calum muttered under his breath.

He had enough of her complaining. Ever since he got on the I5, that’s all she’s been doing. They’ve been stuck for over four hours and it was just her mumbling over and over how she would rather be waiting to cross the border than be stuck in the freeway. Even Claudia during her period was less irritable than this. Before she could get a word in, he turned up the volume on the true crime podcast they were listening to.

Ironically it was about a couple where the girlfriend murdered her boyfriend and disposed of his body by a lake in the very same freeway they were on.

Calum glanced over to Claudia. She was curled up, leaning against the window playing tetris on her phone. He rotated his neck and hands in hopes that he loosened up, but nothing worked. He knew he shouldn't have said that to her. It wasn't her fault that there was traffic.

"Cal…" Claudia said quietly, reaching down to lower the volume.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be getting all irritated when I was the one who suggested that you take me back to your house. Because of me we're stuck in traffic and—"

"Claudia, you have nothing to apologize for. You're not the one who caused the traffic. If someone should be apologizing, it should be me. I'm just stressed out because of the album dropping tonight and I'm taking my nerves out on you. So I'm sorry for being a fucking cunt."

"Apology accepted." she giggled.

Claudia leaned over the center console and kissed his cheek. Slowly, she descended down to his neck And sucked under his jaw, making him jerk the car.

"Ashton needs me alive for at least tonight." Calum said, gently prying her off of him. He adjusted his shorts and looked toward the road.

Not even five minutes later, Claudia was toying with a loose string on Calum's shorts. Her hand occasionally bumped into his crotch. Wordlessly she unbuckled her seatbelt and tried reaching for her purse in the backseat. It gave Calum a great view of the nude lace panties she wore.

Before he tried anything, she sat back down and pulled out some nail clippers. Claudia bent over the center console once more and clipped the string with them. She rubbed his thigh and laid her head in the console. Her fingertips deftly smoothed down his leg hairs.

"What are your thoughts on road head?" Claudia asked. She tiptoed her fingers up his thigh, slowly inching to semi hard on.

"I don't know, never thought about it." He answered her, swallowing hard with his gaze glued on the road.

"Really? Like you never thought of me choking on your dick while you're driving?" She pushed herself up from the console and sat criss-cross applesauce. "I have. The thought of you guiding my mouth over your dick surrounded by other cars, clueless to what we're doing. All I have to say is thank fuck for your tinted windows."

He watched from the corner of his eye. She had pulled down her dress, exposing her breasts and her panties were on the dash. One of her hands disappeared under her dress while the other was tweaking her nipples. She whimpered Calum's name loudly as her fingers sped up.

Calum pulled her hand away and licked her fingers cleaned. He slipped his and continued where she left off. With one hand on the steering wheel he brought her to her orgasm. Her hips chased his fingers as he stopped thrusting them in her and only rubbed her clit. Once her high relaxed, he slipped his fingers out of her and licked them.

He pumped a quarter size amount of hand sanitizer in his hand, cleaning his hands, and kept driving.

He looked over to Claudia and smirked. "Thank fuck for tinted windows, huh Claudia."

***

Claudia was bundled up in her room so she wouldn’t disrupt Calum during the livestream. She went downstairs to get her water and a snack after hearing 'Not in the Same Way.' She bumped into Calum in the kitchen, who was getting another White Claw.

"Hey," she said kissing his cheek.

"Miss you." Calum said in between kisses.

Before she said anything, Michael's yelling that he was a pickle echoed through the kitchen. Calum gave her a look and went back to the living room. Duke tried getting on the couch but failed.

"I leave for a fucking second and you're a fucking pickle." Calum said, trying his best not to laugh.

He picked up Duke and sat him in his lap. Panchito wandered over and hopped on the couch and used Duke's bed as a pillow.

"Uh… this is Panchito. He's the Santos' family dog." Calum said introducing the blue heeler puppy to the 40 thousand people watching. "He's about four months old and just sleeps all day with Duke."

The livestream went on until Michael's phone died and Calum continued with Luke. But just before Michael signed off, he thanked Claudia for making the CALM cakes and cookies. Calum struggled a bit to get Luke connected, but he managed once Claudia hopped in and showed him how. He gave her a sheepish thank you and watched her curl up on the opposite end of the couch.

At some point during Calum and Luke's segment, they strayed off their music and discussed cake flavors. When Claudia heard Luke say that he's not a big fan of red velvet cake, she bit back her comment about Luke eating a few slices of red velvet cake at Calum's birthday party the year before. If Claudia knew how to do one thing, that's bake a good red velvet cake.

By the time Calum finished the livestream and his phone call with Luke, Claudia had fallen asleep. He signaled the dogs to follow him outside so they can do their nightly business before going to bed. He guided them back to their respective kennels and secured the doors, so they couldn't escape to go ruin Soni's plants.

"Claudia," Calum said softly. He gently nudged her awake. "Let's go upstairs."

"Fuck, did I fall asleep?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Yeah, surprisingly since you took about four naps today." he teased her.

"Oh shush." she grumbled, folding the blanket she covered herself with.

They quietly went to the guest room where Calum was sleeping to watch a movie. Not even fifteen minutes into the movie, Claudia and Calum were devouring each other. Her hand lazily stroked his length through his sweats as Calum's hands ran over her thighs and ass.

"We should get on the floor, the bed squeaks too much." Claudia said when pulled away from Calum to take off her hoodie.

She got off from the bed and grabbed a duvet from the closet and laid it on the floor. She grabbed some of the decorative pillows and arranged them neatly so they could lay on them. Calum followed suit and shedded off his sweater and sweatpants. He laid back on the duvet and took in Claudia. She sat in his lap in nothing but a light grey bralette and matching panties she got at Aerie. It wasn't an overall sexy set, but it still sent him spiralling.

She leaned down and captured Calum's lips with hers. He let out an incoherent grumble as Claudia rocked her hips against his cock. He slowly inched his hands up her thighs, feeling his way around until he found her ass. He roughly gripped her ass and began guiding her along his clothed cock.

“Can you fucking wait?” Claudia giggled, pulling away from his lips. She sat back up on his lap and took off her bralette. “I wanna take care of you.”

“I don’t want you to.” He said.

“You better remember that the next time you get a stomach ache for eating too many chilaquiles.”

Claudia drummed his chest and got up from the floor. She reached for Calum’s hoodie and tied her hair in a bun.

“Where are you going?” Calum asked her confused.

“You don’t want my help, so I don’t see what I’m doing here.” She shrugged.

She grabbed her phone from the nightstand and gave him a small salute before leaving his room. She waited outside, knowing he was going to go after her. A few seconds later he opened the door and pulled her inside.

“I’m kidding, I need you.” Calum said peppering kisses all over her face.

“That’s what I thought.” She said, triumphantly. She got down on her knees and tugged down Calum’s sweats. She licked her lips and looked up at him. “Now let me show you how proud I am of your album.”

“What would you rank it?”

“Definitely one of your top four.”

Taglist: @f-mu @another-lonely-heart​ @sunshinebabycal-deactivated2021​   @calumscalm​ @karajaynetoday​ @cherryxwildflower​ @myloverboyash​  @idontneedanyone​ @findingliam-o​ @5-secondsofcolor​ @spicylftv​ @sexgodashton​ @fckingpernico​ @2fangirl4u​ @calpops

[dallonm-archive]

[image description: three monstera leaves. The leaves and wall are tinted purple by string lights behind the plant. In the middle, in a white serif font and all caps, reads “LIFE CYCLE OF MASSIVE STARS”. At the bottom, in the same font but smaller, reads “update #1″ /end id]

LIFE CYCLE OF MASSIVE STARS | UPDATE #1

Before I start, this is an autistic OwnVoices novel and it’s Autism Acceptance Month! Remember that awareness is passive and acceptance is active. And whilst this book is autistic OwnVoices I want to stress that it doesn’t cover the full autistic experience; autism is so individualistic and  this story only stems from my experience. Make sure you to listen to all autistics, not just those who can speak and live independently and present in a way that suits neurotypical society. Support autistic creatives and if you’re also a creative, include autistic characters in your work! Autism is not a disease. It does not need to be cured. 

Hey y’all! This has sure been a week! I gave myself the goal of 15,000 words for Camp Nano and somehow hit that in 5 days? I have literally never written at that pace before so I’m a little shocked lol. I don’t intend to keep that pace but the momentum has made drafting very fun and? drafting this has been a literal dream. I was really worried because March was a month long slump I expected to carry into April. I want to disclaim that I’m currently out of school and work because of the pandemic so I have all the free time to write and that definitely contributed! But also as a neurodivergent and disabled writer, free time does not always equal writing, so to know that I am capable of writing like this, even if not always, it is Such a gamechanger. Also this story makes me miss University so much I actually can’t take it :( 

LCOMS has been a dream so far because the protagonists are all characters I’ve had for 5-8 years, and | spent those years struggling to figure out their stories. Even when I settled on this story, originally Patchwork, there was like 4 versions of it before I landed on this - none ever drafted beyond a couple thousand words because they just Never Worked. But the wait was worth it because holy shit I feel like I struck gold. This story feels so me, it’s so much fun to write, and I don’t think a story has come to me this easy before. It’s given me such a zest for storytelling again that I didn’t realise was missing. I’m slowing things down now because creative boundaries and self care >>>>, but I just passed 19k words - though some of the chapters are very unfinished because my priority has been mapping out the story’s skeleton as far as I can, then filling in the gaps based off what I learnt. I wanna put a passage before the cut so it’s not just me rambling about bullshit and no content, but it’s hard to pick just one, so here’s a non-linear scene that I :) cannot elaborate on :)

(CW: alcohol)

[image description: the side of a ferris wheel against black sky. The wheel is lit white, but at the bottom it’s coloured a mix of pink, blue and green. At the top, in a white serif font, reads “The ferris wheel lights blur between turquoise, magenta, mint, lavender, casts the puddles into technicolour. “ /end id]

Picture this: December 17th. End of term. End of year. Cloudless night, stars winking. Fargate glows, market stalls lit by yellow fairy lights line the street like candle stubs, gently burning. It’s raining. It has all day. Dampened your new beanie and scarf but you’re not mad, even if you’ll cringe at the texture when you take them off later. The ferris wheel lights blur between turquoise, magenta, mint, lavender, casts the puddles into technicolour. Your eyes and feet ache, but you’re not mad. And the mulled wine that buzzed warm in your bloodstream now coils in your stomach, but you’re not mad. You’re queuing for the technicolour wheel, even though you know it’ll be underwhelming and a waste of £4, but you’re not mad. Chocolate is usually too sweet for you, but he bought a pack of snowflake shaped ones - each carved with their own design - and when he passes the paper bag over you don’t say no. They taste like raspberry. He grins at you.

I have once again written a long update because I am autistic and have no self control; more excerpts and chapter-by-chapter rambles are as usual under the cut!

(content warnings are specific to the respective excerpt, but as a general warning there’s a lot of alcohol mentions!)

Originally I wanted 3 parts for 3 semesters, but I might do 2? Especially because in the UK at least the spring and summer semester kinda blend into one. The chapters are grouped by 3 - one for every POV character - but that’s more to help with writing because I get more done if I break it down like that, but I also like how it’s shaped the story structurally. 

Sometimes the three chapters will be each of the character’s POV on a single event, sometimes they’re more individual but still follow a general idea (for example, one of them is how each character’s first three weeks of the semester goes). As usual for me the plot here is ~non-existent, especially at this stage, but everything is still connected and threaded together and thats all we really need. The chapters are also pretty short at the moment, none of them are over 3k and only tackle 1-3 scenes. This is something I feel is working really nicely now but I’m not gonna commit to it for the entire novel. I like chapter length variety! But right now we are just going with the flow :)

The most unexpected part is this being in second person, which I decided impulsively the night before Nano because I have :) zero self control :). I was unsure if it’d work in Multi POV, but it’s created such a unique tone that I can’t imagine the story without anymore, even if it’ll need tweaking over drafts. I think it suits the story so well! I’m just torn about it being in past or present, so if you see tense jumps in the excerpts no you did not <3 I’m not naming chapters right now beyond the character’s name, but part one is titled Growing Pains.

[image description: photo of a city at night. To the left are skyscrapers with lots of lit up windows behind a chain-link fence. To the right is an unlit building. Near the middle is a bright streetlight. In the middle, in a white serif font, reads “growing pains”. /end id]

 1: Tomas

We start in the most overrated part of Uni, fresher’s week <3 The drinking and clubbing culture of UK university is a big part of this novel but in a way that’s like “hey this can be fun sometimes but sometimes it’s really not and it’s also really not for everyone.” Our three POVs go to a club night and really don’t care for it. Tomas does not want to be here, is in a weird as shit mood, and instead of looking for his friends he goes to the smoking area with a man he just met called Damiano. I really wanna rewrite this because I wrote it with Zero Idea of where the story was going, so here’s the one part of it that I consider salvageable <3 

Damiano shoves his phone in your hands, brightness puncturing darkness. You hadn’t noticed the dimmed lights until then, but the room blued, music and time slowed. Though his notes are on dark mode, his phone brightness is on two fucking high. Your eyes sting. Cracks travel up the screen like veins.

Each character also has a specific image they keep seeing in things that are never actually there and they all make me like 🤠 hey besties what do these mean are you okay?? I Do Not know what they mean yet, but Tomas’ is veins. (Also shout out to me for finally settling on a spelling for his name after 5 years and by that I mean thank you to my friends for peer pressuring me into choosing Tomas lol)

My absolute favourite part of this story is the character voices. They are all SO fun to write, and I feel like I settled into a good combo of My Literary Prose Bullshit and they’re very specific, often very sarcastic voices. They also say fuck like, so many fucking times. RIP to me if I decide to query this <3 

2: Kristen

Okay first off Kristen is THE funniest character I’ve written. He is SO fun. I wish I was his bestie but he’s also been my bestie since 2013. We meet him in the gender neutral bathrooms being annoyed by a very rich and very tone deaf girl. Classism and the UK class divide is one of the biggest themes of this novel, and Kristen is a very proud working class Northerner (the North is massively underfunded and unsupported by the Gov compared to the South) and cannot stand the Tories (Conservative Party). Extremely fucking valid of him

(CW: blood)

“I’m Floss. Florence.” Of course she was. Fucking Florence. “Where are you from?”

You don’t look at her. Eyes on your reflection, the glittered cheekbones. You busy yourself with your eyeliner, gliding the pen over gaps and smudges that don’t exist. “Barnsley, babe.” It’s only a half lie this time - if you tell her you were born in Liverpool she’d probably look at you like you’re a dead rat on the side of a dodgy alleyway. But maybe that’d be better because then she’d leave you the fuck alone. 

“Oh! That’s like well close isn’t it. I’m from Reigate.” Her voice breathes trust fund and Waitrose, tries to speak like it doesn’t. You try not to laugh.

“Reigate! I bet your parents are right little Tories, aren’t they?”

She playfully slapped your shoulder. She thinks you’re friends. "Not every rich person is a Tory!” Don’t roll your eyes don’t roll your eyes don’t roll your eyes. “Is that blood on your hands?” 

“Huh?” You look: faded red dye dried to your palm, blotted on your fingertips. It is dye, because your hair is as of four hours ago a fierce “Real Red”. But it could be blood. “No, it’s hair dye.”

If you think he’s being harsh, she literally calls him a slur like 3 lines after this <3 Fuck rich people half of this book is me clowning on them. 

Kristen’s recurring Imagery is blood, except sometimes it’s less clear if it’s actually blood or not. Once again, besties are you okay ????

3: Junie

Junie my beloved <3 love her so much. She finds Kristen in the bathroom, and they agree to look for Tomas, until Tomas texts to say he already left. But the biggest part of this chapter is the absolute crisis she has over kissing for a girl for the first time to ABBA :) 

(CW: alcohol)

[image description: a disco ball against a red-purple background. The disco ball casts dots of light against the across the ceiling. At the bottom, in a white serif font, reads:  “Dancing Queen bounces against the walls. The disco ball casts specks over the ceiling, floor, walls, your skin, hair, eyes like broken glass.” /end id]

You don’t listen to 80s music, or 70s, but this room is smaller than the main floor, not claustrophobic, less freshers. Yet, even without the mask of a crowd, nobody notices the girl in the corner kissing the other girl. A girl you don’t know. You’d only gone up to her because she has purple hair and you had to tell her how much you love it - what dye is it? Professional or homemade? Did you have to bleach your hair? Professional or homemade? Will your hair fall out if you bleach it at home? If you dye your hair purple, do you become part of the Milky Way or part of Andromeda? She turns and sticks her tongue out to display her fresh tongue piercing, like a silver bullet lodged in flesh. “Dance with me, you look lost.” She has an allure to her, the Andromeda hair, the bullet in the tongue - do you want to pull it out with your teeth, or lodge it in your own skin? But she asks you to dance, and you fall into her orbit, if only for a few songs. Dancing Queen bounces against the walls. The disco ball casts specks over the ceiling, floor, walls, your skin, hair, eyes like broken glass. Her tongue in your mouth, yours in hers, bullet grazing against your lips. She tastes of vodka and cherries and metal.

I really, really feel for Junie. She’s recently out, and she’s only just navigating what it means to exist as a lesbian. She kisses a girl and immediately regrets it, because she’s a hopeless romantic and was hoping her first kiss with a girl wouldn’t be in the back of a club, but she also doesn’t regret it because it was a good kiss and they’ll never see each other again lol. Junie’s recurring imagery is glass and once again, besties are you okay 

4: Junie

I don’t know how I feel about back to back POV chapters but that’s just how this set worked. The next 3 are immediately after the events of the first 3, after they’ve all left the club. Kristen and Junie walk home together, and most of this and his subsequent chapter is establishing relationship dynamics and <3 this story made me love writing dialogue y’all. This story has a lot of dark elements, so it’s really refreshing to be able to have the light-hearted moments as well. Like these characters are all going through it but they’re also Gen Z 20 year olds who grew up using humour to cope like what else are they meant to do 

“We should’ve got that flat on Brunswick. It’s literally down the street from the SU - we’d just have to walk down a hill and then we’d be home.” He complains.

“Kristen, that flat had a rat problem. I saw one scurrying behind the oven.”

“Yeah, and we live with Tomas Meijer now, so what’s the difference?” He faces you, walks backwards, grin plastered on his face.

“That was mean.” You feign annoyance. You sound like a schoolteacher. 

“It’s just how we are, you know. The love hate relationship. Like night and day or some shit. I’d kill for that boy but like, he’s still a rat. He’s the same to me - did he tell you he called me a malnourished ferret once in first year? In English and Dutch. Don’t even remember what it is in Dutch but he really came at me with two knives like that.” 

Kristen and Junie don’t really know each other well - Junie is Tomas’ friend from class and Kristen and Tomas met in dorms, and a series of shitty housemates in second year brought them all together. It’s funny because I really worried Junie would end up with no clear place in the group and more like a third wheel to Kristen and Tomas but as I started writing I realised that her and Kristen are gonna become besties like. Instantaneously. Love this for them <3

5: Kristen

Essentially mirrors the last chapter. Him and Junie arrive home and have a heart to heart in the living room about gender <3 I love this for them <3 

6: Tomas

Tomas goes home with Damiano and they hook up, which is very out of character for Tomas so it’s like his I Am So Random. I Can’t Believe I Just Did That moment. Damiano is a really sweet dude though it’s all good, but he’s here to stay and I can just tell it’s gonna get messy :/ I actually really love how this chapter came out but whilst I have no problem with reading or writing non-explicit sex scenes I’m also like a would rather die than put that on tumblr dot com oops 

7: Kristen

we’ve skipped a week ahead to the day before semester starts, and the next three chapters are basically like a character study of where each of them are mentally. It’s not the best :/ This is also the point where Day 1 Of Camp me had literally no idea what I was doing. LCOMS is different from the way I pants Revelations, Revelations because with the latter I find it much easier to brainstorm scenes in my head but with this one, it really is a surprise until I open the doc. It’s created some really interesting moments though. 

Kristen visits an amateur photographer friend named Kasia to model for her. I struggled to find anything that included info I’m fine with sharing, but I learnt a LOT about Kristen and his mental state, which was surprising since he’s lived in my head rent free for 8 years now. It’s messy <3 The summary: he sees himself as a mannequin, and he decides that he likes it that way, but he also doesn’t know who’s moving his joints into poses. Bestie???

8: Junie

Junie unpacks her room a week after moving in. Autistic queen <3 This is one of the unfinished chapters, and I have zero motivation to finish it because there’s a scene missing and I cannot for the life of me figure out what it is. The gist of it though is she FaceTimes a friend from secondary school that definitely was her gay awakening that she only realised was her gay awakening in the last year. Messy <3 

9: Tomas

One of my favourite chapters. It’s split into two halves, a light-hearted moment of all three housemates at a superstore because <3 grocery store scenes my beloved <3 and then Tomas’ Everything Is Bad exploration at the end. There’s a moment in the first half where Tomas and Kristen have a heart to heart in the candle aisle, and Tomas asks Kristen where he thinks they’ll be in their thirties. I winged this in a sprint and I’m obsessed with it, it’s all about the ~dynamic~

“Well, he has student debt for one. But that’s not on him. That’s on the Tories. But I like to think they’ll be out of power by then. Boris might even be dead, if we’re lucky. But again, not on me.” He’s quiet again. You watch him think. “He’d be a music teacher probably, or an English teacher. But like, a cool one. He doesn’t teach secondary school because he doesn’t hate himself. Maybe a Sixth Form, or even better a Uni. His students would love him because he’d be able to take a joke and also like, not hound on them for having mental illnesses or life struggles?” Neither of you look at the aisles anymore, just circle the home section of Big Tesco. “He’d also do a lot of charity work. He has a foundation-charity-thing for queer and autistic kids to get accessible music lessons, because creative therapy is like, the best thing - besides Prozac but I digress - and it’d be better than the old white men from CAMHs who act like you don’t exist by your eighteenth birthday. And he’d have a cool little flat in Sheffield where the landlord lets him paint the walls so every room is a different colour. Turquoise kitchen. Magenta Living room. Lavender bedroom. Mint bathroom.” He looks at you like he forgot you were there. “You really let me ramble like that in the middle of Big Tesco, huh? That felt like a fucking therapy moment.” He laughs a little, like he’s nervous.

“Nah, it was a good answer. Maybe if Tomas-in-his-thirties doesn’t move back to the Netherlands, he’ll rent the apartment next to Kristen-in-his-thirties.” 

Kristen pouts. “Aw, you don’t wanna be my roomie anymore?” 

“No, you called me an animal for eating pineapple on pizza.” 

“Deserved. And you called me a malnourished ferret.”

You smile. “You’re not gonna let that down, are you?”

He smiles. “Of course not.”

Kristen tells Tomas he knows Something Happened to him over summer, and gets him to promise to tell him when he’s ready. The second half of the chapter takes place back at the house. Tomas is grieving, and it’s starting to creep into all elements of his thought. In this one specifically, he’s reminded of his top surgery and his memories in the hospital for that starts to blend with his memory of being in the hospital to grieve. Tomas is interesting as trans rep because like, he is trans rep curated for me specifically <3 Tomas was a huge comfort character for me when I was younger and when I realised I was trans, I looked at him and was like oh. He had a very smooth coming out and transitioning process (bc mine is the opposite and I need to project :) ), but right now he views his transness as like, a chapter of his life that was important but is now closed, so he doesn’t think about it a lot anymore, but the combo of grief and its mental impacts causes him to think about it more and he realises he has a very unhealthy internal relationship with his transness. Whilst the big idea at the start of Tomas’ arc is to show trans peace, I really wanted to take a moment to acknowledge the grieving process that comes with being trans. Literally the moment that made me realise “oh god, this is real and I can’t ignore it” was googling “im scared i might be trans” and realising how normal those tangled feelings are. Tomas’ experience of it is only fleeting, but I wanted to show that it’s normal. That being said, there’s no transphobia in this story. It is ultimately a Trans Peace story but also a trans story that, for me at least, is realistic. And the thoughts don’t last long, because his mind circles back to the grieving process. 

(CW: graphic surgery and hospital imagery, vomit mention, death)

[image description: a darkened picture of an empty hospital room. The only light comes in through the window through thin white curtains. In the middle, in a white serif font, reads “ Scalpel gliding across the chest; were the cuts they made as thin as the line between surgery and autopsy? “ /end id]

Picture this: The hospital room. Clinical lights like exit wounds in the ceiling. Everything hurts. Haven’t slept properly in weeks. Can barely eat without it coiling and tangling in your stomach only for nothing to come up when you heave over the toilet. Messy hair, sunken eye bags. Dull eyes. The hospital room. The hospital halls. The hospital waiting room. The hospital car park. The drive to the hospital. The sleepless night before the hospital visit. The locked in the armchair next to the phone waiting for the hospital to call. The silence shrills harsher than the phone’s ring. But ask yourself this: who’s in the bed? You or him? The memories are different but the same. Oil and water. Shouldn’t be mixed. But it’s hard not to. Picture the two of you on the operating table and on the metal slab. Too far from reality to feel skin slice. Scalpel gliding across the chest; were the cuts they made as thin as the line between surgery and autopsy?

There’s a lot of paragraphs in the story that start with Picture This:. I have no idea what it means, it just reads cool lmao

10: Junie

we skip around 3 weeks now to see how the kids are dealing with the start of semester and well. They’re managing! Junie actually has a good chapter here, because she experiences Baby’s First Queer Class Crush 

[image description: a purple sunset with a large pink cloud. In the middle, in a white serif font, reads  you notice her background is of a purple sunset. You wonder if purple is her favourite colour like you and if she took it and if she likes photography and if she’d take photos of you “ /end id]

You listen, touch type your notes without properly processing the words yet, but instead of studying the PowerPoint, you study her: how she tucks a strand of black hair - free from her messy bun - behind her ear. The three studs in her earlobe, three little gold stars. The way her eyebrows furrow when she’s confused, and the way her face relaxes when she figures it out. How she touch types like you, how her two brass bracelets  jangle and how you’re the only one that hears it. She minimises Word briefly, and you notice her background is of a purple sunset. You wonder if purple is her favourite colour like you and if she took it and if she likes photography and if she’d take photos of you. Lavender polo shirt, lavender perfume. She doesn’t wear make-up, but a tiny black heart sits under left eye.

Junie’s dreams of a photographer girlfriend are quickly shattered when she admits the photo’s from Pinterest, but otherwise this is so <3 the sapphic crisis of it all.

You walk out together, and she tells you she only got into Sheffield that weekend, and it was a nightmare to explain to the tutors why. “It’s like, they forget we have lives sometimes. Lives we can’t control.” She shakes her head. “It’s okay now though, I’m here now.” 

You almost trip on the stairs up to the main floor, and her hand is warm against your wrist. Your cheeks redden, but she just asks if you’re okay, smiles when you are. Tells you she’s late for a seminar, but it was lovely to meet you. Thanks again for the lecture notes. Calls you a lifesaver. Fades into the between-classes rush. You’re glad she’s here now.

again she is so <3 i get it babes i get it <3 

In other news, at the end of the chapter Kristen drops the most relatable line of the entire fucking book:

“You know how like, when it rains, all the worms come out and do a funky little dance? Yeah so basically: the rain is LIT3001 right. And the worms are all of my mental illnesses.”

11: Tomas

Tomas turns 21 on October 13th so naturally like anyone in his early 20s he has multiple crisis’ about it. I still haven’t figured this chapter ~out yet but it sure exists! It just sucks the same way it sucks to be a young adult in the late 2010s. But here’s Kristen being the most relatable character in the book again and getting bullied for it :/

(CW: alcohol)

"I still can't believe you both do a science. Like, it actually baffles me - I could not be more further from that." Kristen refills his glass, measures the vodka level with his index. "Just a babe and his silly little BA against the world." 

"You know if you wanna be a BA babe you have to actually, like, graduate."

12: Kristen

Kristen is personally like I will pretend my degree does not exist and honestly? I get it King. He visits his Dad, since he only lives 30 minutes away, but most of the chapter is him thinking about Tomas and their messy friendship and the fact that Tomas is kinda ghosting him despite literally living together :/ Anyway here’s Kristen’s cat :)

Mar snoozes on your pillow, half curled like a croissant. Orange fluff against grey sheets, and you’re not mad at the fur debris she’ll inevitably leave. Her head pops up when you sit next to her, “you forget about me yet?”. You scratch her head and it’s like you’re 12 again and you don’t have to worry about rent or degrees or masters applications or careers or groceries or housemates and you haze through Sundays snoozing in bed with your new kitten. Technically she was a birthday present, but dad couldn’t wait an extra month to adopt her. Said he saw it in her eyes at the shelter, that she belonged here. You named her Marmalade because you were a dumbass eleven year old and also thought marmalade was the shit back then. She stretches her legs and yawns. Plops her head back down, back to sleep. “Yeah, me too.”

13: Tomas

The next three chapters centre around each character’s Halloween, because <3 Halloween my beloved <3. Tomas’ starts off with him and Kristen being ~homoerotic and him being a ~disaster about it. 

w[image description: a photo of a blue planet - Neptune - against a black background. In the middle, in a white serif font, reads “You don’t know which palette he’s using, but you remember his favourite is space themed: Mars red, Neptune blue, Jupiter orange - you try to guess which planet he thinks looks best against olive. He taps the brush against the palette. Imagine the planets. How they dandelion in the air.” /end id]

When you sit in front of him, your knees press together. When he tilts your head up, thumb on chin, nail grazing the curve of your lip, his hand is ice on your skin. He studies your face, you close your eyes. When he pulls back, you swear you still feel his thumbprint on your skin. You don’t know which palette he’s using, but you remember his favourite is space themed: Mars red, Neptune blue, Jupiter orange - you try to guess which planet he thinks looks best against olive. He taps the brush against the palette. Imagine the planets. How they dandelion in the air. He holds your head in place, hand sprawls over you cheek like veins. Brushes colour into your eye socket. Underneath the radiator, your phone buzzes twice. Don’t say anything. Ignore your heartbeat.

(before this Tomas threw his phone at the radiator because someone texted him :) yeah okay mood :) )

this story is really about the ~gay disasters and also the ~dialogue 

You flop onto your bed, arms crossed over your face. “I dunno. I might just print off all the emails Uni's sent me about my dissertation. Staple them to a jacket and tell people I'm going as mental illness." 

"Tomas, if you want to go as mental illness then you don't need a costume at all."

Unfortunately the rest of the chapter is not as fun because plot had to happen but this first scene was :)

14: Junie

Junie is not a fan of Halloween so she gives up halfway through the night and invites the girl she met in her lecture over to bake cookies at 1am instead. Fellas is this gay?

(CW: alcohol)

The girl in the kitchen brought cookie cutters in pink Tupperware. She explains she’s had them since she was eight, but she hasn’t had a chance to use them this Autumn. She has seven: cat, butterfly, crescent moon, heart, three stars matryoshka’d together. “I have more, these are just my go to ones. I’m a bit of a collector.” She lines them up on the counter, you trace the outline of the cat. She says she didn’t want to bring too many, but she likes having the options with no plan, the potential. You want to tell her that, after you invited her over, you spritzed the counters with lavender surface cleaner twice and tucked the discarded vodka and raspberry liqueur bottles in the cabinet you can barely reach. You piled unfolded laundry into your closet and hid drooping plants behind your closed curtains when you had zero intention of her inviting her to your room. You want to ask her why she said yes, why she replied in two minutes at one in the morning, and you want to ask her why people feel the need to cookie cutter themselves into a false potential. She asks if you want to bake with coconut or chocolate chip.  

she is actually such a disaster around girls i love her so much

The girl in your kitchen clears up glass that isn’t hers. You drop the measuring jug and it fireworks against tile. No shards lodge in your skin. Whilst she cleans, insists that it’s okay, you brew peppermint tea because you insist it’s the least you can do. The girl tells you a story about how she did the exact same thing, when she was nine, and her mother shrieked so loud the neighbours banged at the door a minute later. She laughs, muted. You apologise again. She insists it’s okay again. Rain hardens against the window, looks like TV static. You breathe in the peppermint steam.

The biggest thing I’ve learnt since drafting is that, at it’s core, this is a love story. And that makes me so excited because so many people, especially in mainstream media, still think that autistic people are incapable of love - or even worse, undeserving. 

15: Kristen

Kristen’s favourite holiday is Halloween so naturally on his special day I had to make him go through it :) I can’t share a lot of this, but it feels right to end this beast of an update on this beast of an excerpt because it came to me out of absolutely nowhere and it is one of my favourite passages I’ve ever written OOPS

(CW: death, parental death)

[image description: a cluster of stars against a dark blue, almost black sky. In the middle, in a white serif font, reads “You want to ask your dad how something can end if for you it never began, but he’s asleep in his armchair back home. You look at the stars. You wonder if any of them are her.“ /end id]

You’ve mapped Sheffield’s streets since 13 so you know you’re walking the wrong way. This isn’t the way to Crookes. This isn’t the way out the city centre. You should order an Uber. You keep walking. You stop at a crossing. There’s no cars. You don’t cross. The traffic light flashes red and bleeds on your face. The stars are out tonight, and now it’s 2004 and you’re in the lounge with Lion King in the VHS. You’re off sick and your neighbour - Mel, recently retired, recently widowed - nurses a glass of brandy in your dad’s armchair because you don’t know it yet, but he can’t afford to miss work. You’re sprawled on the dusty-red rug when Simba and Mufasa sprawl in the grass and Mufasa tells Simba that all the stars are the Kings of the past and they are watching over him. You ask recently retired, recently widowed Mel if that’s true; her smile is happy but her eyes are sad and she says “yes, and not just Kings. Nobody leaves Earth, they just move to the stars.” 

Ten minutes later, Mufasa is flung off a gorge’s edge; you haven’t studied storytelling yet, but you understand those two moments are connected. And when you relay this to dad over ready made pasta that evening, you ask him if people really live in the stars: Sometimes, when they can’t live here anymore. Then you ask if they can come back from the stars: No, but people remember them. They’ll tell stories about them, so people don’t forget. Then you ask if memories and stories are like stars: A little. Then you ask why they can’t live here anymore: It’s hard to explain, Kris.

After dinner, he lets you play on the plastic slide in the garden as he scrubs the dishes. You climb to the top and try to see faces in the stars, but it’s too cloudy. And after that but before bedtime, you’re sprawled on the dusty-red rug again, and Lion King is in the VHS again, and as Simba and Nala are bathed by their mothers again, your five year old mind connects what’s different about you. You go to ask dad about it, but he’s asleep in his armchair. It’s 2018, you’re stood on a phantom street in Sheffield. You want to ask your dad how something can end if for you it never began, but he’s asleep in his armchair back home. You look at the stars. You wonder if any of them are her.

And I usually don’t do this, but I think the playlist for this wip is absolutely fucking elite, so here’s a handful of the songs that I think encapsulate the story the best:

The Wombats – Greek Tragedy

Duncan Laurence – Arcade

FKA Twigs – Two Weeks

Peach Pit – Alrighty Aphrodite

Khalid – Saturday Nights

Alfie Templeman – Stop Thinking (About Me)

Rina Sawayama – 10-20-40

If you read this far, then I love you and we shall have a platonic wedding this summer. But I cannot express how excited I am about this story and to see where it goes!

[berryjam17]

Remedy

Jin x f. reader [in smut scene. relatively g/n for the rest ( 'butterfly' could be considered a more feminine nickname)]

Synopsis: Life has left you scarred and unwilling to get too involved with anyone else.

Kim Seokjin is stubborn. Kind. Capable of soothing your wounded spirit.

Warnings: chronic illness, hints of IBD throughout for Y/N and Jungkook, one very in-your-face implication that Y/N has IBD in the beginning, internalized ableism, swearing, unprotected sex, little bit of dom!Jin / sub!Y/N, oral (F receiving), fingering (F receiving)

Word Count: 6k

repost, I had to fix some issues.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The waiting room was hushed, with the tapping of keys from the receptionist’s desk as background noise. You glanced expectantly at the clock, disappointed when only two minutes had passed. It was 6:17 PM, and you doubted your roommate would arrive before 6:40. Lisa was a graduate teaching assistant at the local college. She’d left a message explaining that she had to print off a paper before she could drive your car back.

This late in the day, there was one other person waiting. You studied him, more out of boredom than anything else.

Black hair fell in waves to frame his forehead and eyes. He was dressed casually in a soft pink hoodie and jeans, his rings reflecting the overhead light as he skimmed through a magazine.

He abandoned it briefly, lifting his head to lock eyes with you. His lips twitched. A frown? A smile? You couldn’t tell.

He flipped the magazine around and held it up, so that you could see the pages he’d been on. It was a painting of a cherry tree in full bloom, with hints of a cerulean sky between the branches.

Beautiful.

The next spread was for Crohn’s and Colitis Awareness Month. His brow furrowed as he witnessed you retreat into your shell, looking anywhere but at him.

Realization dawned when he saw the contents. “I’m sorry. I didn’t-”

The door to the E.R. clicked open, interrupting him, and a younger man crossed the threshold. Magazine Man shot to his feet and hurried over to him. “How are you feeling, Kook?”

“Tired.” ‘Kook’ shrugged into the coat he was handed, almost trodding on the other man’s heels as they exited the waiting room.

Stupid. You slumped forward, squeezing your eyes shut and rubbing your forehead. Get a grip.

He sat a few seats away. You kept your head down, not eager to embarrass yourself further.

You’d heard his voice before, but for the first time, you realized how melodious it was. “I didn’t look before I turned the page that day. I’m sorry.”

You looked up. “I know. I’m sorry too, for how I acted.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He relaxed into the seat. “I’m Seokjin, by the way.”

“I was calling you Magazine Man in my head. Just so you know.”

He had a nice laugh. “There are worse names, I suppose. What’s yours?”

“Exhausted panda.”

“Panda? Is that your favorite animal?”

You blinked, taken aback at his interest. “Uh, no. That's not why. It’s for the dark circles under my eyes...it’s hard for me to get enough sleep.”

“...I see wings.” His voice was hesitant. Gentle.

You couldn’t understand why he’d been trying to boost your morale. “Oh...well. My actual name is Y/N.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.”

The next time you saw Seokjin, he was worried when he learned you didn’t have an immediate ride home. Lisa had left on an urgent errand for her mother, and you hadn’t driven in the first place. It was kind of impossible to do that when you were incapacitated by pain and nausea.

He offered to drop you off after he took his brother home.

You couldn’t reply right away. You had some idea of who he was. You knew his name, and that he loved his brother dearly. But you didn’t know him well enough to feel completely comfortable.

But pain had always been your strongest motivator. The easiest fix for the agony snaking along your guts was a heating pad at home.

And here Seokjin was, with the tempting words that made you imagine how sweet the relief would be.

You said yes.

Seokjin stopped next to you while you were browsing through the earrings at the local Walmart, almost giving you a heart attack before you recognized him.

He was with his brothers. You hadn’t known that there were others, besides Jungkook. But then again, you had only met in the hospital.

Thankfully, Jungkook appeared to be fine. But you knew all too well that didn't necessarily mean he felt that way. Still, his smile almost rivaled Seokjin’s.

Seokjin gave the jewelry a cursory scan before he snatched a pair left over from Christmas, stamped with Santa Claus’ image. “These would be perfect for you.”

You rolled your eyes, swatting his hand away. “More like for you.”

He didn't laugh. You were surprised to see him scrutinizing your features. “You’re feeling better.”

“Yeah.” You swallowed. He didn’t intend to, but his words reminded you of the fact that every meeting up to that point had happened with you rendered helpless in one way or another. You despised the idea that people thought of you as frail, vulnerable...weak.

Especially Seokjin.

But it was undeniable. You were weaker than the average person. Good days where you could cope had been reduced, and there weren't many days at all that you didn’t feel some symptom.

Seokjin had a window to Jungkook’s experiences. But even then, there was a disconnect between them. What then, did you hope that he could do for you, that you couldn’t do for yourself?

“I found something for you.” He took your hand in his. Cool metal pressed into your skin.

You uncurled your fingers to see midnight blue stones glinting up at you, set as the leaves of an earring climber. “It’s beautiful.”

He sent you a wink. “Of course it is. What would you choose for me, Y/N?”

They stood out almost immediately. You retrieved the pair of silver chain drop earrings and deposited it in his hand. They were rather plain, save for the metal stars at the ends of both.

He rolled the fine metal links across his thumb.

You hadn’t spoken, but his head lifted. He refused to look away from your eyes. His own had softened, resulting in the tension rippling across your shoulders. You didn't like it when people looked at you like that.

Seokjin had never seen one of your days, only glimpses. He had no idea of what you endured.

He had no right to meet your gaze with that familiarity.

“Butterfly.” His voice was hushed, stopping you in your tracks.

“‘Butterfly’...?”

“Can I call you that?”

“I didn’t think we were on a nickname basis. If we were friends, I’d allow it.”

“Friends…” he mused. “That’s fair.”

The image of rain, threatening to break through a wall of clouds, rolled across your mind.

He didn’t relent, daring to reach out. He folded your fingers around the piece of paper. “If you need a ride. Or if you want to talk.”

“Do you just carry your number around?”

He glanced downwards. “I wrote it after I saw you here.”

You nodded stiffly. You couldn’t see yourself turning to him for further help, but you weren’t about to tell him that. Besides, there was no harm in keeping the paper, just for a while.

-----

He had lovely handwriting. You left his note on your desk after entering his contact, though you debated for several weeks on what to text.

If you decided to text at all.

Red lights cutting through the midnight darkness and echoes of his voice in the enclosed space lingered. The memory of his presence paired with the absence of pain.

You were unable to forget that you owed him, and you wouldn’t be able to let the memory fade until you’d done something in return.

He replied with an invitation to a homemade dinner. It didn’t make sense. Honestly, it was frustrating. You just wanted to pay him back and be done with it.

But again, he insisted. The little voice in your head whispered that it’d be easier to explain yourself in person, rather than over text.

While Seokjin had dug in right away, you set your fork down. “I have to be clear about this. I said yes because I owe you for the ride home before. There’s no other reason.”

He gazed at you from across the table. “I did that because I wanted to. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Seokjin, please.”

He sighed. “That’s what friends do. Can we be friends, Y/N? Not...whatever this is?”

You traced the rim of your glass, collecting condensation on your fingertip. “...I guess we can try.”

“Thank you.”

You glanced at him. His gentle smile and warm brown eyes caused an ache to bloom in your chest. Feeling your body temperature spike, you broke eye contact with him.

The clock on the wall read 6:32. The muted ticking of its hands and the clinking of silverware were the only noises in the room.

For a house with six other occupants, especially in the evening, you would’ve expected to overhear conversations and movement. “Where are your brothers?”

“Jungkook went to watch a movie with Jimin and Tae. Yoongi’s at his studio. Namjoon and Hoseok went back to campus to study.”

“Does that happen often? You getting the house to yourself?”

He smiled. “I may have...provided incentive to the youngest ones.”

You stumbled upon a new author and earned a couple more pieces of literature to proofread. Since you hadn’t gone to college, you were grateful each time you found a new client.

When Seokjin refused monetary payment, you came up with a plan B.

While you couldn't be exactly sure of what Jungkook’s trigger foods were, you were reasonably sure that they included the worst ones for you. Red sauce (and everything that entailed) was pure evil on the most basic list of what foods to avoid. You had no clue what his other brothers liked, so you packed a variety of food.

He answered on the second ring. “Y/N?”

“Hey, you’re at home, right? Is everyone else there too?”

“Just a sec. ...Yoongi’s on the way. Everyone’s here beside him. Why?”

“I bought food, so we can all have dinner together.”

“Alright. You’re at home?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait there. I’ll come get you.”

“I can drive, Seokjin. But thank you.”

“See you soon, butterfly. Drive safely.”

--

Seokjin swung the door open. Surprise flickered across his expression. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” You lifted the basket, as if he hadn’t already seen it. “I brought food.” As if you hadn’t told him that earlier. You cringed, wondering why his compliment had thrown you off so badly.

If you were trying to distract him, it hadn’t worked. His thumb grazed your earlobe and the jewelry adorning it. “It matches you.”

Seokjin’s presence in your life was like the moon. You’d walked for so long through the night that at first, even his light had been blinding. But it hadn’t taken too long to become accustomed to his honest, kind nature.

A few months went by. Though Seokjin hadn’t exactly hesitated to talk to you before, sending you cute animal pictures or memes, he became thoughtful when you saw him in person.

“I feel like you’re hiding something from me.” You sat across the table from him. His brothers had already finished eating and scattered throughout the house and yard. You’d declined his invitation for food, but accepted for the company.

He finished chewing, his hand over his mouth. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh yeah?” You looked - very deliberately - at his ears.

He bolted out of his seat. “Hey!”

You waited a long moment before rising. His hands pressed into your shoulders, holding you firmly in place. “Y/N, don’t turn around and I’ll talk.”

“Okay.”

“You’re special to me.”

“Special...in what way?”

“As my friend. As someone I like.” He claimed the chair next to you.

“Oh..”

“Can we give it a try? It doesn’t need to be official. I just want to know you better.”

“Seokjin, I haven’t been in a relationship for a long time. I’m not...suited for one.”

“If you don’t want to, that’s fine. But why do you think you’re not suitable?”

You drew patterns on the table. “Um, I’ve just never wanted another person there…”

His hand settled over yours. He squeezed your fingers. “Sure. But why, Y/N?”

Your throat grew tight. You choked out, “I didn’t want to be a burden.”

He drew you to him, tucking your head against his shoulder. You blinked tears away.

“You’ve had to be strong for so long.” He murmured, melancholy infusing his tone. “You’re not alone anymore, butterfly.”

------

It took a few hours to surface from the dark ocean.

You were in Seokjin’s room, watching him explore Hyrule. He had a Nintendo Switch hooked up to his TV, with a Breath of the Wild cartridge inserted. “Seokjin?”

“Hmm?” He frowned as he furiously mashed buttons. “Just a minute.” On the screen, Link was fighting a masked man in red. The enemy teleported around the battlefield, annoying Seokjin. “Stand still and let me kill you!”

He breathed a sigh of relief when his attacks connected. You kept an eye on the enemy’s HP bar, cheering inwardly each time it went down. After vanquishing the masked enemy, he set the Switch on his bedside table and turned his attention to you. “What is it, Y/N?”

“I’m ready to talk about why I’ve been afraid of relationships.”

He inclined his head, a silent ‘continue.’

“The fear of being a burden is constantly in the back of my mind, because of my health. I always thought...why would someone choose that? Why choose me, when so much of my life is this disease?”

“Because you’re a lovely person.”

“There are so many lovely people out there who are actually healthy.”

“But they’re not you.”

“I’m not any other person either, does that make them any less valuable?”

“No, of course not. That’s not-” He groaned. “Y/N, you’re making this impossible. Everyone is special. But you are in my life, and you’re important to me. I don’t give a damn about your health.”

You wanted to believe it.

If it had been anyone else, you wouldn’t have. Even so, doubts haunted you.

Seokjin was a good person to the core. You’d seen that when he took care of Jungkook, in his cooking for his brothers, and how he’d bolstered your spirits when it was all too much.

You could trust him.

But you didn’t want to drag him down. He deserved better.

He took your hand, thawing the ice in your bloodstream. “Look at me.”

You did. He intertwined his fingers with yours, his rings warm against your skin. “I know my own mind. And I like you. Your health doesn’t scare me.”

“It’s easy to say that.”

“If we were in a relationship, I could prove it. Remember Jungkook, too. I’ve seen his side of it.”

“..Okay. I’ll do my best.”

He chuckled softly. “You don’t need to do that. Butterfly, just be yourself.”

-----

Euphoria was unfamiliar. You poked at the dreamlike haze, searching for shadows. You relaxed when the sunlight faded. A full day had passed, and it hadn’t been a fantasy.

Grains of sand shifted under your shoes. Waves rolled against the shore, and he was at your side. “Jin, why did you start talking to me? In the hospital, I mean.”

“You looked sad. And I thought...maybe you could help Jungkook. He struggles with it a lot. If anyone can help, it’d be you, right?”

Moonlight spilled a silver path across the water. “I don’t know that I’d be able to help another person when I’m not in the best mindset. He should talk to a professional, I think.”

--

Jin parked next to the curb. You unbuckled the seat belt when he spoke, rushing through his words. “Y/N, there's something...I have to be honest. I didn’t ask you out purely for my sake. The next relationship I had, I wanted to meet someone similar to Jungkook.”

The euphoric bubble disintegrated. “What?”

“I’m sorry. But please believe me, I care about you.”

“Me or my disease?”

His face was veiled in shadow. “Y/N, it’s you.”

“I need time to think, Jin. You were using that part of me...and I just..”

---

His confession was a new experience. You’d struggled with self-esteem for years, only exacerbated by the crushing diagnosis. To fight with a resistant body and know that you would never, ever be freed from that for as long as you lived...it was hard.

There was always the hope of remission. But the risk of a flare-up was there too, in every period of peace.

Seokjin had deliberately sought you out because of your burden.

You knew that his intention was admirable and came from love for his brother. But the thought that not all of your interactions had been for the sake of, well, interacting...hurt.

A lot.

Were you not enough?

-------

Jungkook called after a few days, asking to talk in person. You agreed after he promised everyone else would be out of the house.

“How are you feeling?” You asked, looking him over. He didn’t appear pale, tired, or otherwise sick. What you were really concerned about were the possible symptoms you couldn't see.

“I’m okay. I managed to finish a painting.” His lopsided smile vanished. “I heard what happened.”

“Yeah...I assume you’re going to explain.”

“I’d like to. But I won’t if you don’t want to hear it.”

You couldn’t say no to his earnest request. “I’m listening.”

“He didn’t mean it like that. His exes were nice enough people, but they couldn’t understand how protective Jin-hyung and everyone else was of me. They wanted more from him than he was willing to give. He was just hoping that someone like me would be more sympathetic.”

You nodded slowly. “I can see that.”

Light glimmered in his eyes. “Can I pass on a message?”

“It’s alright, I’ll call him later. Jungkook, your brother said he was worried about you. Can I help you at all?”

He blinked at you, confusion clouding his face. “Help me..? On what?”

“Your health. If I can help, I mean. I only have my life to go off of, but I’ve been talking through it with a therapist.”

“Oh. Um...I want to ask you some questions.”

----

You dialed his number with shaking fingers.

“Y/N?” The concern in his voice made tears spring to your eyes.

“..yeah. It’s me. Um, listen, Jin. I talked to Jungkook earlier...and I thought a lot.” You opened the door, stepping onto the deck. When you tilted your head back, you could see the stars.

“Are you okay?”

“I will be. I just..needed to ask you something. It was real, right?”

“Yes, butterfly. I wouldn’t have gone this far if I didn’t care about you.”

“Okay.” You wiped at your eyes. “I still love you, Jin. Can we start over?”

“I’d like that.”

Your heart warmed when he blew you a kiss over the phone.

“Get some sleep, Y/N. I’ll text you tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Good night, Jin.”

“What do you want to do in the future, Jin?”

“I’m supposed to take over the family business. After all, I got a degree for it.”

“Do you want that?” You asked, hearing wistfulness and regret entwined in his voice.

“I...no, not exactly. But I’m the eldest.” He nudged his plate of fried chicken.

“That doesn’t matter. What do you want to do, Jin?”

He dragged his plate closer to him, avoiding eye contact.

“You’re so good to everyone. What about yourself?”

“I’d like to work in a hospital...not a doctor, but maybe a nurse? I want to help people.”

“You can do that and still be there for your family.”

Although he didn’t look completely convinced, he resumed eating. You were glad for that, at least.

Lisa wasn’t home when Jin pulled in, so he parked behind your car. He caught a glimpse of a bike, sheltered safely under the deck. “Is that yours?”

You followed his finger. “Yeah. It’s been a while, though.”

“Why? The weather's nice.”

Resignation dyed your tone a muted gray. “I can’t walk up a flight of stairs without getting tired most of the time. I don’t have the stamina for biking.”

He was holding an extra helmet and standing next to a light blue bike. Your heart leaped when you noticed it was a two-seater bicycle.

Jin clasped the strap under your chin. He sat in front and kicked off.

You didn’t look at the scenery very much.

--

Jin was still seated when you clambered off his bike and removed your helmet. You attempted to do the same to his, but nervousness hampered your movements. He reached up and unclasped the strap. Carefully lifting his helmet, you set it on the ground.

You could swear he had a halo. He was cast in an azure glow.

Of course, you knew it was all in your mind. He couldn’t claim to be of angelic status any more than he could emit light. Physically, anyway.

You cradled his face in your hands and kissed him. “I want to spend more time with you today, doing something you like.”

His eyes lit up. He wheeled the bike back to his car. “How about playing some games?”

You laughed. “You bet.”

--

Jin was a master at Mario Kart. You tried to keep up with him (and Jungkook, who’d entered the living room before Jin started the game.)

But it was over for you when you looked over at Jin. It was too easy to get lost in his shining eyes and victorious laughter when he edged ahead in the race.

At the end of the round, you leaned against his shoulder. “‘M tired.”

He paused the game and plucked a pillow from the couch. “Lay down. I like to think I'm more comfy than the floor.”

You hugged the pillow to your chest, laying your head on his lap. You craned your neck to look up at him, smirking at the adorable tinge of red on his face and ears. The satisfaction transformed into a softer, rosy-hued emotion as you admired the intensity in his eyes.

Beautiful. He was in his element, playing a game he loved.

Your eyes fluttered shut. Even the grumbles of frustration when his cart fell behind didn’t tug you farther away from the realm of slumber.

The living room was gone, replaced by the dining room. Jin was standing in front of you. You were holding several forget-me-not flowers out to him. In his hands, the blue darkened to purple before fading into pink.

“What flower is that?”

He tucked it behind your ear. “It's saxifrage, butterfly.”

The stem was poking your cheek. You swiped at the sensation. It didn’t depart - if anything, the prodding intensified.

You blinked to see Jin, his index finger hovering above your face. Jungkook was splayed out on the couch behind him, fast asleep.

He broke into a grin. “You were out for an hour, sleepyhead.”

You stretched. “Well, I guess it’s time to go then.”

“Actually…” he pursed his lips. “If you want to, we could have dinner. I don’t really have time to make anything, but we could do takeout.”

You poked his cheek in retaliation, then swiped your thumb across his lips. They parted under your touch. “I’d love that.”

------------

Lisa landed a job as a journalist and moved out of the apartment.

Jin responded to the news with apprehension. “I don’t want you to be alone. You could try living with us.”

“That’s...I still have five months left on the lease. Besides, I can’t live with seven people, Jin, even if they’re your family. I need a separate bathroom.”

“Oh. Right.” He sighed over the phone.

“Did you hear back from the college yet?”

“Not yet. But I think I’ll be accepted...at least, I hope so.”

“They’d be crazy not to. You already have a good record with them.”

You could tell he was smiling. “Thanks, butterfly.”

“How’s Jungkook doing right now?”

Relief saturated his voice. “He got a good report from his doctor. They said he’s in remission.”

“That’s great! Tell him I said ‘Good job! Don’t overdo it.’”

He chuckled. “I will.”

The door to Jin’s house opened before you could even knock. He leaned against the doorframe, with his forearm bearing most of his weight and his ankles crossed.

And his outfit...You raised an eyebrow. He was stunning, but you didn’t understand why he’d donned a fitted black suit when you were just coming over to hang out. At least, you’d thought it was a casual invitation. Then again, he had mentioned that he’d kicked his brothers out for a few hours.

His ears were turning a condemning shade of red the longer you stared at him.

“Jin…? Did you have ulterior motives, perhaps?”

“...Maybe a few..?”

You took a step closer. “I don’t mind them, Jin. Not from you, not like this.”

“Oh…” A small tremor ran through him as you grasped his tie.

“Although you didn’t need to dress up. If you could see yourself...well, besides through a mirror. You’re breathtaking, Jin.”

“Ah...okay.” Jin looked down at himself, a seed of doubt flickering in his expression. As if you could possibly be talking about anyone else.

You laughed softly. “Come here, you ridiculous man.” Tugging on his tie, you connected lips. His tongue swiped along your bottom lip, asking for entrance that you eagerly granted.

Jin’s hands settled on the small of your back, pulling you flush against him. He lifted you into the air as you flung your arms around his neck. Your legs wrapped around his middle before he supported your thighs.

You nibbled on his pierced earlobe, blowing a soft breath out and watching the silver drop earring sway. His grip tightened on you.

“Jin?”

“Yeah?”

Glimmers of moonlight reflected in his eyes.

You have the most beautiful heart.

How was I lucky enough to have these moments with you?

“I’m really happy we met, you know.” As he entered his room, you nudged the door shut with your foot.

“Me too.” Everything about Jin seemed impossibly tender. His voice, his eyes, his smile. He lowered you onto the bed with the same amount of care.

You shimmied out of your jeans, using his shoulder for balance. Your shirt landed on the floor next as you knelt. You undid his belt and started sliding his dress pants down his toned thighs, palming his bulge as you went. Above you, Jin let out a quiet groan, his fingers momentarily frozen in their descent of his shirt buttons.

Heat pooled in your core as he took time to fold his clothes and hang them over the back of a chair. He was playing with you now, you were sure. There was no way he didn’t know how much you yearned for his touch.

When he was within reach, you tangled a hand in his hair and slotted your mouth against his.

His hands slid up your bare back, lingering at the bra band. The fabric pressed into your skin before falling.

Jin pulled away. The lunar glow of his irises had been swallowed by a starless night. “I want to see all of you.”

A shiver raced down your spine. Breathless, you let the garment drop to the floor, followed by your underwear.

“Sit back properly, Y/N.”

You didn’t look away from him as you scooted backwards, into a nest of pillows. He sank to his knees. “Can I go down on you, butterfly?”

Butterfly.

You trembled at that, how he could call you so innocently, yet resemble nothing but temptation. His pupils were blown out in lust, his honey skin gleaming with a light sheen of sweat, and his lips swollen with your kisses.

“Yes.” You managed. “But you still have boxers on.”

He smiled at that. “I’m taking care of you right now. Lay back and relax.”

A yelp escaped when he gripped your thighs, lifting your lower body in order to place a pillow there. He propped himself up on his elbows.

Jin’s hair was silky, brushing against your skin as he pressed a kiss to your inner thigh. His thumb glided along your folds, paying attention to your clit. His tongue circled the bundle of nerves, switching between broad swipes and targeted licks.

Your body jolted when he inserted a finger past your entrance, curling it inside you. He lapped up the juices, his gaze flicking to yours.

A fresh wave of arousal hit you.

The casual way Jin had held you captive with just a look...he’d taken root in your life, to the point that you’d suffer without him. You’d recover, eventually.

You always did.

But not at full health. Your body couldn’t even remember what that was like, and your mind struggled to process the distance between who you were ‘before,’ and who you were ‘after.’

“Butterfly?” Jin called you back. He’d sat up.

You blinked. “Yeah?”

“You looked...sad.”

You rested your forehead against his. “It’s not much. I’m just grateful to have you in my life.”

His hands cupped your face. Searching your eyes, he asked, “Do you still want to continue?”

He saw the confirmation as you spoke, “Yes.”

Jin removed his boxers, tossing them on the floor. He positioned his cock at your folds and eased into you, watching your reactions. You bit your lip at the beginning of each movement, and let out a little sigh as pleasure overwhelmed any fading discomfort.

When he bottomed out, Jin touched your cheek. “Can I move, baby?” At your nod, he rolled his hips, delivering controlled, powerful strokes.

“Perfect for me.” He rasped. “My beautiful butterfly.” Jin intertwined his fingers with yours, gazing down at you. Locks of hair curled against his forehead, his earrings catching light with every thrust.

You dragged your nails across his back. His shoulders were incredibly broad, tapering to his more delicate waist. Despite all the power he possessed, he was one of the most gentle people you knew.

He bent his head. You felt a slight sting above your collarbone, but he soothed the love bite with his tongue. He latched onto a breast, teasing the sensitive bud and stoking the fire in your core. It raced along your nerves, leaving them alight and craving more.

Perhaps Jin was the best (non-medicinal) cure for you.

You traced his jaw, lightly hooking a finger under his chin and urging him further over you. You nosed at the hollow of his throat, and a moan tumbled from his lips. When you nipped at his skin and laved the mark, his hips stuttered.

“Y/N,” his voice had deepened, “I don’t wanna hold back anymore.”

You looked into his eyes. “Then don’t.”

“On your knees.” Ji-...Seokjin growled.

You scrambled to obey. His palms pressed into your shoulder blades, guiding your hands flat against the bed. You melted inside at the dual caress on either side of your spine, and swallowed a whimper when his hands became rough, kneading your ass.

“Let me hear your pretty voice.” He sank into your warmth.

Seokjin set a brutal pace, pounding into you. His panting, the slap of skin against skin, and your ragged breathing intermingled. You were hurtling towards the edge of release, but a wave of bone-deep weariness was licking at your heels.

His rhythm slowed. You had time to wonder if Seokjin or Jin was in charge, before his hand pushed your legs apart. He rubbed circles on your clit, varying the pressure of his touch.

You were falling apart under Seokjin’s skilled fingers, but the oncoming orgasm sapped your strength. Your arms shook, threatening to give out. Unable to fight the fatigue creeping in around your joints and limbs any longer, you gasped, “I can’t..Jin, I’m exhausted.”

He pulled out. In equal, warring measure, your body ached for rest and to have him inside you again.

You curled into a ball, listening to his steps fade. He was back within a minute, his touch and voice soft when he placed a hand on your shoulder. “Y/N?”

You made a muffled noise, hidden by the pillow. His weight sank into the bed. You lifted your head reluctantly when he stayed silent. “Jin...I'm so sorry.”

He shook his head. “You did your best, baby.”

Your lip quivered as you cast your gaze down. “-...do better for you.”

“I know.” He started to dab at your neck with a damp cloth. “You’re more important, Y/N. There are other ways to get off.”

You sat up slowly. Jin’s hand moved to your shoulder.

A strangled noise left your throat when you glanced downwards. You should’ve known, since he hadn’t climaxed earlier.

Actually seeing his erection made it sink in.

“How can I help you?”

“You don’t need to do anything.”

You were begging now, tears welling in your eyes. “Jin, baby, please. Let me help you.”

He wrenched his gaze away from your pleading, heartsick expression. “I’m sorry.”

You threw the duvet over your head, but it didn’t dampen the sound of running water in the next room.

He was taking a shower.

The tears overflowed.

You wanted to be his equal. He’d focused so much on your own pleasure, forgoing his own.

The shower stopped not long after. You burrowed closer to the wall, bunching the duvet in your fists to hold it down.

His steady footsteps halted at the edge of the bed. “Can you let me in, butterfly?”

Your resolve wavered, and you released the fabric. Cool air brushed against your back as you heard him get into bed. The duvet fell again, covering you up to the shoulder.

Jin embraced you from behind. His palm radiated warmth against your stomach, and he hooked his leg over yours.

You tried to wriggle out of his arms. “How can you want to touch me now?”

His voice was unsteady. “Because you’re my miracle, Y/N.”

“But I didn’t...you wouldn’t….I didn’t help you.”

“I didn’t want you to because you’re exhausted, butterfly. When you feel up to it, you can.”

You clamped a hand over your mouth, trying to stifle your sobs.

“Shh, baby. It’s okay.” Jin whispered into your ear. He didn’t loosen his hold, and you placed your other hand on his forearm.

Not to push him away, but to reassure him you understood. That you were grateful...for everything. And that you’d try your hardest to have him finish with you.

He listened to your breathing even out and felt your body go lax as sleep claimed you. A small twinge of regret flashed through him when he remembered the letter he’d received.

He’d tell you later, he decided. You needed rest, not excitement (even if you had been awake.)

----

“This is amazing, Jin!” You were beaming by the time you reached the end of his letter. “When does the program start?”

“September 5th.” He was smiling too, his dream glowing in his eyes.

Pride fluttered in your chest. “You’ll be great, baby. Wait-” A slight frown marred your forehead. “Is that why you had a suit on before? To celebrate?”

“Well...yes. It was the first reason, anyway.”

You covered your face with your hands. “Oh god. I just assumed...fuck. I’m sorry, Jin.”

He almost laughed, but guessed that would not have been the kindest reaction. “No, there was that too. I posed in the doorway like that to seduce you.”

You snorted, but it was betrayed by the warm curve of your lips. “Of course.”

------------------

His reason for wanting to be a nurse was simple. Two of the most important people in his life depended heavily on the hospital and its staff. He knew how important it was to have well-functioning hospitals, not just for you and Jungkook, but for everyone.

You were just happy to see him working towards his dream. You had no doubt that he'd be able to play a part in other people’s lives.

Jin had a healing presence, after all.

__

copyright : 2021, berryjam17

[iffeelscouldkill]

TSCOSI Week Day 1: Violet / Nature

A/N: I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE A WHOLE DAY LATE FOR THIS AND THEN IT TURNED OUT THAT THE WEEK STARTS ON THE 25TH! Made it with 35 minutes to spare in my timezone dfsgghshshjs

(Watch me now be late for every single other day because I spent all my time on this one fic and have nothing else written for the other days xD)

Anyway, this is Day 1, prompt: Violet/Nature! It’s set kind of ambiguously around season 2, i.e. they’re on the Iris II, but there’s no other specific references to events of season 2, so this is spoiler-free!

Enjoy!

Violet sneaked as quietly as she could through the corridors of the ship, doing her best to conceal the bundle under her arm. The seller at the market stall had been nice enough to wrap it up in extra paper for her to disguise its shape, though he’d cautioned that she should be sure to unwrap it as soon as she had the opportunity.

She just needed to avoid bumping into anyone on her way to her room who might ask what she-

“Did you get what you needed?”

“Gah!” Violet jumped and whirled around, then relaxed when she saw who it was. “Uh, sorry, Captain, I thought you were – yes, I did, thank you.”

Sana eyed the bundle under her arm with interest. “Am I allowed to know what you doubled back for?”

“It’s uh…” Violet hesitated. It wasn’t Sana she was trying to keep it a secret from – if anything, Sana was the ideal person to confide in, but she felt suddenly embarrassed, wondering if she’d misjudged her spur-of-the-moment decision. “It’s something for Thursday.”

“Oh!” Sana’s face lit up. “Violet, that’s great. I’ve bought some ingredients to make one of her favourite dishes for dinner, but she’ll definitely love your… mystery gift. And if you need any help getting her in place for the surprise, just let me know!”

Violet smiled at her. “I will, Captain. Thank you. And thanks for… telling me, as well.”

“Of course!” Sana replied, beaming and dimpling at her.

Back in the safety of her room, Violet was finally able to unwrap her purchase. Her room had a kind of desk that folded down from the wall, and Violet unfolded it so that she could set the little terracotta pot with its seedling occupant on its surface. Then she studied it.

To say that Violet was not naturally green-fingered would be an understatement; if anything, she had a flair for killing off plant life, and her friends and roommates had learned very quickly not to trust her with anything green and growing. People had a tendency to gift her with pot plants (the joys of having a flower name), and Violet had taken to lying through her teeth when asked about how they were faring. She’d once had a cactus that had survived for a record six months before dying of what was either neglect or possibly a lack of sunlight.

So the fact that Violet needed to take care of this plant until she could give it to Arkady on her birthday in a week’s time wasn’t ideal. Sana had been the one who’d told her about Arkady’s approaching birthday, explaining that it had taken her years of friendship to even pry the date out of Arkady. “She says that she hates people making a fuss,” Sana explained. “But I think it’s because she could never… do much for it, growing up. I’ve tried to make up for that where I can.” She’d given Violet a significant look at that point.

Violet also didn’t think it was a coincidence that Sana had told her this right before they were due to land and resupply near a harbour town with an extensive marketplace.

Violet had only caught sight of the little stall with its rows of pots and tiny green shoots as they were leaving the market. She’d waved the others on ahead, and then covertly made her way over to the stall to inspect the range of plants and their prices.

It was a shame that they hadn't had any fully-grown varieties, but the stallholder had assured her that it would be much more rewarding to grow and take care of from a seedling. “You don't have the bother of germinating it, but you get to watch it grow," he said. “Just make sure you water it regularly, and keep it in a semi well-lit spot.”

Violet hadn’t liked to ask what that would look like on a spaceship. She hadn’t been prepared to rehearse too much of a cover story for buying a plant. But it was only for a week, right? She could take care of one little plant for a week, and then it would be in Arkady’s expert hands.

Right.

---

Three days later, Violet was definitely panicking a little bit.

She still hadn't figured out how to get a plant the equivalent of natural daylight on a spaceship, and the seedling is definitely starting to look a little droopier than before. She watered it the other day - even though it maybe didn't really need watering - so it's definitely not drying out. Of course, there could be any number of other things wrong with it, and Violet wouldn't know, because she had only ever owned plants involuntarily and did not know how to take care of them.

Okay, Vi, don't overthink this, she instructed herself. You're a biologist - you understand living things in principle. They need shelter, they need water and nutrition. And when you're in an environment where you can't get all your nutrients naturally - say, space - you have to find artificial substitutes. After all, it wasn't like humans could get sunlight in space either, but over decades of space travel, they'd found ways to adapt. Vitamin D supplements were a staple on long-haul ships, as were Vitamin D-rich foods, as there was a limit to how much your body would absorb from pure supplements. As a state-of-the-art vessel, the Iris (one, not two) had also been equipped with sun lamps that the crew could sit under for short periods to stimulate their skin's Vitamin D production. But Violet hadn't found anything of the sort on the Iris II. Except-

Violet sat up abruptly on her bed. The Iris II’s medbay was pretty state-of-the-art compared with the Rumor (okay, her medicine cabinet in undergrad had been state-of-the-art compared to the Rumor’s medbay, but still) and she still hadn’t finished exploring all its various fittings, but she distinctly remembered that the lamp over the examination table had an ultraviolet setting.

What was more, Violet didn’t think that she’d have any trouble keeping Arkady away from the medbay for the rest of the week (since she only ever went in there under duress).

Delighted with her revelation, Violet opened the door to her room, intending to go straight to the medbay and test out the lamp – and found Arkady standing on the other side, fist raised to knock.

“Arkady!” Violet exclaimed, quickly re-angling herself so that she was blocking the view of the table with its plant occupant (and thanking every single one of her stars that she hadn’t picked up the seedling to bring with her to the medbay). “Hi!”

“Uh, hi,” said Arkady, smiling a little quizzically. “I was just coming to ask- well, it’s more like the Captain told me to come and ask-”

“Is your leg hurting again?” Violet asked, quickly catching on.

“Not- excessively,” Arkady hedged. “But uh, more than yesterday?”

“I should definitely check it over,” said Violet firmly. “And I can give you more of that Zaletenol to help with the pain for the rest of the afternoon.”

So much for easily being able to keep Arkady out of the medbay – though, at least Arkady had picked now to ask for a checkup and not after Violet had installed the plant somewhere visible. Her leg had been bothering her a lot less recently, or maybe it was just that Arkady had stopped mentioning it. Violet tried to keep a close eye on Arkady as she moved around the ship, watching for any minute signs of pain or discomfort. Unfortunately, Arkady was very good at masking injuries.

“Thanks,” Arkady said, falling into step alongside Violet as they walked towards the medbay. “Also – hi.”

“Hi yourself,” Violet said, smiling at her. Arkady’s cheeks went a little pink.

“Are you sure you didn’t just come by because you missed me?” Violet asked, because she could never resist leaning into the flirting. RJ, whenever they were within earshot of it, called their flirtation “distracting”, but Violet was more than okay with that.

Sure enough, Arkady’s blush darkened. “I… did, actually,” she said. “I was going to come by anyway after my shift ended to see if you wanted to make something in the kitchen together. Jeeter’s promised to leave it alone for the evening.”

Violet, who had been expecting a quip in return, was temporarily lost for words at Arkady’s shy honesty – not to mention the implication that she’d gone to lengths to secure the kitchen so that they could spend some time together. “I – yeah, I’d love that,” she said, knowing she was definitely blushing as well.

Arkady stopped walking, and Violet stopped too, a little puzzled. “What?”

“We’re…” Arkady gestured at the door opposite them. “We’re at the medbay, Liu.”

“-Oh!” Violet couldn’t help snorting with laughter at her own inattentiveness as she hit the door release button. Now who was the one being distracted?

Arkady’s wound was still healing, but showed some signs of swelling that suggested she hadn’t been staying off it like Violet had told her to. “You know what I’m going to say,” Violet told her as she rolled off the biodegradable plastic gloves that she’d been wearing as she gently probed the edges of Arkady’s leg wound, and dropped them into the waste basket.

Arkady rolled her eyes and leaned back on her elbows. “Keep my weight off my leg; I know, I know. It’s just- hard.”

“I get it,” Violet said sympathetically as she dug out a gel pack and squeezed it to activate the cooling crystals. It expanded and inflated slightly as it began to work, which was always equal parts unnerving and satisfying to watch. She handed the pack to Arkady, who laid it against her leg, wincing slightly as it came into contact with her skin. “Sitting around isn’t your style. But the alternative-”

“-Is worse,” Arkady finished for her. “Yeah. I believe you, I guess I just… thought I’d be able to use it again by now.”

“You can use it,” Violet told her. “But go gently. And no running. Not even small amounts.”

Arkady grimaced guiltily, and Violet hid a smile, her hunch proven correct. “I’m going to relay these instructions to the Captain as well, so that she knows what to keep an eye out for,” she said. Arkady huffed indignantly.

“I don’t need monitoring.”

“I didn’t say you did,” Violet said mildly. “But she needs to know how your recovery is progressing so that she can account for it when she gives you jobs to do.” The fact that she didn’t expect Arkady to give Sana this information of her own accord went unsaid. “You need to hold that on your leg for ten minutes,” she added.

As Arkady sat there with the cooling pack held against her thigh, Violet fiddled with the settings on the overhead lamp – making a soft noise of triumph when the lamp switched to an ultraviolet setting.

“Uh-” Arkady said as the two of them were suddenly bathed in an odd black-violet glow, the white floral designs on Violet’s green top shining with unnatural brightness. “Is that the ‘tanning bed’ setting?”

Violet laughed and switched the lamp back to its regular mode. “Sorry, I was just testing – a lot of these more state-of-the-art long-haul ships are equipped with ultraviolet lamps, to counteract Vitamin D deficiency. It can also be a useful treatment for skin conditions like eczema and psoriasis.”

“Huh,” said Arkady, sounding interested. “So, the supplements we take-”

“Don’t account for all of what you need, though if we make landing often enough on planets with a nearby star, you can generally stave off a more serious Vitamin D deficiency,” Violet finished for her.

“Generally?”

“It helps to have one of these on board, just in case,” said Violet. Then, hoping she sounded convincingly casual enough, she added,

“You must have rigged up something similar on the Rumor, right? For the plants in the greenhouse, at least. They’d need some kind of imitation of sunlight in order to grow properly.”

To Violet’s relief, Arkady immediately nodded. “Don’t ask me about the engineering ins and outs of it, but Sana was able to incorporate a couple of ultraviolet bulbs into the greenhouse’s lighting system. Pure ultraviolet light is generally not a good idea, at least long-term – the plants need a balance of ultraviolet and white light to grow properly. So we had a mixture of both.”

Violet nodded in understanding, hoping it didn’t show that she was mentally filing away that detail. “That makes sense,” she said. “I guess I never thought too hard about the practicalities of growing plants in the middle of space.”

“It’s not as hard as it sounds,” Arkady said, and Violet almost laughed. “You just have to have a few key things. Light, water, drainage, enough nutrients in the soil… Well, okay, some types of plants are more picky, but the ones we grew on the Rumor were pretty hard to kill.”

Violet snorted a little, figuring it was safe enough to offer up this one detail. “In my experience, no plant is too hard for me to kill. I’m… not particularly good at taking care of them.”

Arkady laughed, and Violet eyed her, a little bit offended. “Sorry, it’s just – you’re a biologist. But you can’t keep a houseplant alive?”

Violet smiled ruefully. “Sad but true. I guess I’d better stick to taking care of people.”

“You, uh…” Arkady looked down at the cooling pack on her leg, gently pressing down on its edges. “You’re pretty good at that one. I mean, not pretty good- well, you are, but- very. You’re very good at it.” The cooling pack was really getting flattened now. Violet smiled, and reached out to gently touch Arkady’s hand and still it.

“Thanks,” she said simply, but tried to show in her expression everything she was feeling. “Shall we go make dinner? You can take the cooling pack off now.”

---

There was still something wrong with the plant.

After managing to persuade Arkady to divulge the secrets of plant care in outer space, Violet had snuck her gift into the medbay for a few hours each day under the guise of ‘inventorying the supplies’, and sat it under the ultraviolet lamp. The rest of the time, the plant lived in her room under a regular white light.

The system had seemed to work at first - the plant visibly perked up, and Violet was now thoroughly familiar with the range of equipment and supplies in the new medbay, which was a big bonus. But now that Violet was studying the plant under the ultraviolet light again, the evening before she was due to give the plant to Arkady, she could tell something was wrong. The plant’s leaves – which had become bigger and more numerous in the short time she’d been taking care of it – were drooping more than they had been, and some of them looked yellow. Frustrated, Violet mentally ran through what Arkady had mentioned you needed to grow plants. Water; she’d watered it twice. The man at the stall had said to water the plant “regularly”, but how often was that? The soil didn’t seem dried out, at least. She’d been giving it light, and as for nutrients in the soil, well, Violet had no idea how to check for that. But it wasn't like she could do anything about the soil if it was no good; they didn't exactly have fertiliser stocked on the ship. Squinting at the plant more closely, Violet was more convinced that something was off. There were these little... bumps on the stem and the underside of the plant's leaves. Bumps that were...

...moving. Violet reared back, clapping a hand over her mouth. Insects. Her – Arkady's – plant had an insect infestation. What was she going to do?? Mentally, she cursed the stallholder for selling her a bug-infested plant. But she realised that was uncharitable. Insects were a part of nature; you couldn't avoid that. He probably hadn't known about the bugs, and it wasn't as if she'd been checking for them anyway. But she couldn't give the plant to Arkady now. What kind of a present would that be? “Happy birthday; here's a sickly, bug-infested plant. Good luck!” She hated the idea of just throwing it out, though – of having to admit failure (again) after she'd tried so hard do things right this time. And she wouldn't have a present for Arkady's birthday. Obviously plant owners dealt with insects all the time, but Violet couldn't ask Arkady about what to do without arousing suspicion and ruining the surprise. Still, which was worse - giving the game away, or letting things get worse because she had no idea how to treat an insect infestation? That was when Violet had an idea. Banking on the fact that no-one was likely to enter the medbay without her there, Violet left Arkady's plant under the UV lamp and closed the door behind her. Looking up and down the corridor, she picked a direction and speed-walked, blowing past a confused RJ, who said, “Uh-” and almost bumping into Brian. “Hey, dude, everything all right?” “Have you seen the Captain?” Violet asked him. “Think she's up in the cockpit,” he replied. “Great, thank you,” said Violet, relieved. If Sana was up in the cockpit, that meant she was with Krejjh, which was... better than her being with Arkady. Not by a lot, because Krejjh was not renowned for their subtlety, but Violet would take what she could get. Coming to a halt in front of the cockpit door, Violet had just realised that she had yet to memorise the entry code for the new ship when the door opened. “Violet!” said Sana in surprise. “Are you okay, is something wrong?” “Not exactly,” Violet admitted as Krejjh, seated at the controls, craned their head around in interest. “I uh, needed your help with something.”

Sana’s expression immediately turned interested. “Okay. Do you wanna talk in here, or...” “Uh, just somewhere-” Violet didn’t want to hurt Krejjh’s feelings by saying ‘somewhere private’, but privacy would be ideal. “-else? It’s about...” Sana’s eyes widened in comprehension. “Oh! Don’t worry, Arkady’s busy with something in the engine room at the moment.” Krejjh fully twisted their body around. “Are you avoiding First Mate Patel?” they demanded with glee. Violet cringed slightly, wishing the Captain could have been a bit more discreet. “Not... permanently, just at the moment.” “We’ll fill you in later, Krejjh,” Sana promised. “Shall we talk in the kitchen, Violet?” Violet nodded, and the two of them made their way through the still jarringly shiny and unfamiliar corridors of the Iris II until they reached the kitchen. Once inside, Sana said, “So, what can I help you with?” “Uh, so this is going to sound like a weird question,” Violet hedged. “But... when you guys were growing food and plants on Cresswin, what did you use for pesticides?” Sana blinked twice and then frowned a little. “Gotta say, I wasn’t really involved in any of the growing – I’m not very good with plants,” she admitted, and Violet almost burst out laughing at the irony. “That’s more Arkady’s domain. But I do happen to know what Campbell uses on his tomato plants, and I think he mixes...” She turned to the cupboards and began pulling out bottles: vegetable oil, baking soda, dish soap. “Depending on how much you need, you want to use twice as much oil as baking soda, and just a little bit of the dish soap,” Sana explained. “And then you want to dilute it with a couple of quarts of water. You can put it in...” She produced an empty spray bottle from yet another cupboard. “This! I was going to make a cleaning spray, but your need is greater.” “Oh God, thank you so much,” Violet said, picking up the bottles. “Did Campbell really tell you all the quantities?” She tried to think when this might have come up over moonshine. Sana smiled, one of her dimples showing. “I helped him make it once. He was having a bit of a crisis.” Violet laughed. “So, a plant, huh?” Sana asked her, her expression knowing. Violet’s shoulders sagged slightly. “I’m not very good with them either,” she said. Sana smiled at her. “Luckily for both of us, Arkady is. And she will love it,” she said, and headed for the door. “Bugs and all.” Violet put one hand over her face and groaned, but she was laughing. She unscrewed the top of the spray bottle and got to work.

---

De-contaminating the plant was harder work than Violet had bargained for. Violet supposed that most people treating their plants with bug spray weren’t so concerned with appearances, but she really wanted it to look good for Arkady. (And dead bugs were not a good gift). So after spritzing the plant carefully but thoroughly with her homemade spray and then leaving it for a couple of hours to take effect, she used a cotton swab to dust the tiny stalks and leaves and carefully remove any traces of the bugs and the spray.

By the time she was done, it was well after midnight. Violet stretched her arms over her head and breathed a sigh of relief. The plant looked okay. Not in peak health, but okay, and maybe by the morning it would have perked up fully.

Even after midnight, there was always someone awake on the ship, but that someone was usually Krejjh, Sana or Park in the cockpit, which was why Violet deemed it safe to carry the plant with her from the medbay back to her room.

She realised that had been a mistake when, after taking just a few steps away from the medbay, she rounded the corner and came face-to-face with Arkady.

“Liu!” said Arkady, her expression lighting up in a way that Violet was slowly coming to realise might actually be just for her. It quickly gave way to confusion as Arkady spotted the plant. “Oh hey, that’s – cool, where did you…? I didn’t realise you had a plant.”

Violet briefly tried to think of a way to explain away the plant, before realising it would just create more confusion and giving in to the inevitable. At least it was after midnight.

“Um, I’ve been keeping it secret because it’s… for you,” she said, proffering the plant. “I was actually planning to present it in a much nicer way, maybe with a ribbon around it? Which is my fault for carrying it openly around the ship, but I thought you’d be asleep, and you’re not and now you’ve seen me, so uh… Happy birthday!”

A dumbfounded silence greeted her words. Violet waited, breath coming quicker as she nervously started to second-guess herself. Oh god, she hates it! The leaves look really yellow under this light, I didn’t realise – or did Captain Tripathi get the date wrong? Maybe it’s not her birthday after all? “I-if you don’t like it, though, I can just-”

“No!” Arkady said, her arms shooting out to take the plant quickly. “I mean yes! It’s great! I was just trying to think when you – when did you buy this? We haven’t made any stops for a week.”

Violet nodded, feeling giddy with relief. “I bought it at a market on Rodinia,” she said. “I’ve been hiding it in the medbay pretty much since then.”

“The ultraviolet light,” Arkady said with dawning realisation. “But you – hate taking care of plants. Right? Or did you just say that to throw me off?”

“No, that was true,” Violet said ruefully. “It’s a miracle this one is still alive.”

Arkady stared down at the plant with a complicated expression, but fortunately Violet was familiar enough with Arkady’s ‘I’m-coming-to-terms-with-someone-doing-a-nice-thing-for-me’ expression not to panic this time. “It’s a bonsai tree,” she said gently, to fill the silence as Arkady processed. “Well, one of several varieties – I know bonsai is actually about how you take care of the tree, and not the variety. This one’s a Japanese maple. Captain Tripathi said you liked trees, and I thought… you can keep this one in your room and grow it yourself.”

“You got me a tree,” Arkady said softly, and Violet could detect a tiny tremor in her voice. “My own… tree.”

“I hope it wasn’t too much, I-”

“No,” Arkady interrupted her quickly. “No, Liu, it’s… perfect. Really.”

Violet knew she was blushing, and smiling so widely it was almost painful, but she couldn’t care too much about either of those things – even though they were still standing in the middle of the corridor. “Happy birthday,” she said again. “I’m really glad you like it.”

Arkady looked up at her, holding the plant pot close to her chest, almost cradling it. “How did you know it was my birthday, anyway?”

“The Captain told me,” Violet admitted. “I hope that’s okay. She said you don’t really like… fuss around your birthday, and we don’t have to do anything else for it or even mention it at all if you don’t want to, but – I think she wanted you to have something nice. And so did I.”

Arkady’s face did something complicated again, her mouth twisting into a half-smile. “She’s too perceptive for her own good,” she grumbled. “She’s cooking dinner for me, isn’t she?”

“She is,” Violet confirmed.

Arkady sighed, but it was the sigh of someone who was secretly pleased and trying to hide it. “Just so long as there’s no singing.” She lifted the plant slightly. “I’m gonna go put this in my room. Want to… come with? You can tell me all about how to take care of it.”

Violet snorted, bumping her shoulder lightly with Arkady’s as they walked towards Arkady’s room. “I can tell you about all the ways I nearly killed it before your birthday.”

“That works, too.”

[littlemaatta]

Santa Scheme - Derek Hale x Reader

@iamabeautifulperson18 said: Secret Santa with the pack and you propose to Derek cause he is bad at feelings. 

a/n: wow i really went OFF with this one. it’s not very Derek-centric till the end, lots of pack interactions and stuff but i hope you like it :))) and yes I am posting a christmas story in july. 

sort of like end of season 5 pack plus derek.

warnings: NONE. lots of fluff, i don’t even think i swore in this.

reader is described as: slightly shorter than derek, only mentioned once or twice. no other size, skin, or hair descriptors. i think it’s gender neutral as well? 

Lydia had gone out of her way to organize a pack Christmas party this year. She got Derek to let her decorate the loft, even going as far as renting more furniture for the sparsely furnished living space. 

She brought in a tree, garlands and lights to hang on the walls, and she even organized a Secret Santa. 

She approaches you one day with a small box in her hands and a smile on her face, “Pick your Secret Santa.” she says as she holds the box out to you.

You reach in and pull out a piece of paper. 

“Thank you.” Lydia says, about to turn around to go find Derek when you stop her.

“Are we allowed to have other presents, cause I was kind of planning something for the party...” you ask softly. 

Lydia gives you a knowing smile as she nods, “l’ll make an exception for you.”

__

“Yes, you have to participate.” Lydia says with a roll of her eyes as she holds out the box full of names for Stiles to pick from.

With a pout on his face, Stiles reaches into the box and pulls out a slip of paper. 

He unfolds it and reads the name before shoving the slip of paper into his pocket. 

Scott, Malia, and Lydia each take their turns next and then the box is empty, the younger and older members of the pack having already picked their names.

“Good, now everyone has picked their Secret Santa and we can move on to who is bringing what to the party.” Lydia says with a satisfied smile.

Stiles groans and is answered with an elbow in the ribs from Scott. 

They each volunteer an item or dish and Lydia walks away happily. 

__

You got your Secret Santa present and your other surprise purchased well ahead of time, knowing that the stores would of course be crazy the closer it got to Christmas time. But you ended up at the store the day before Christmas Eve despite your best efforts not to. 

And to your not-so-surprise you ran into a few members of the pack doing their last minute Secret Santa preparations.

The next day, you grab your nicely wrapped present and the cookies you made and head to your boyfriend’s loft.

Derek is standing outside in the hallway when you arrive and you furrow your brows in confusion when you spot him leaned up against the wall. 

He looks up at your approach and smiles.

He pushes himself off the wall and leans down to wrap his arms around your waist and kiss you softly. 

“What are you doing out here?” you ask.

“Lydia kicked me out, she said my sour face was interfering with her decorating process.” he responds with a small smile.

You let out a laugh, knowing Lydia she will want everything to be perfect for this party and imagining her shooing Derek from his own loft so that she can decorate seems right on brand. 

The loft door opens a small crack, enough for Lydia to stick her head out to see you. 

“Good, you’re here.” she says with a large smile. “Give me your stuff.” she orders, opening the door a little more so she can reach out. 

“Hi Lydia, nice to see you too.” you answer, playfully sarcastic as you hand the redhead your present and food.

Lydia simply rolls her eyes and smiles in response, taking your things before shutting the loft door again.

You share a look with Derek and laugh as you move back to where he is leaning against the wall. You lean into his side as he wraps an arm around you.

You stay there as the rest of the pack arrives, Lydia coming out to take their things and not allowing any of them to peek inside until she is ready.

Finally, she opens the door, a wide smile on her face as she steps aside and gestures for you all to enter.

You and the rest of your pack are awed the moment you step inside Derek’s loft. 

The place has been transformed. Three large couches make a U shape in the center of the room, a table piled high with all of the Secret Santa gifts sits to the left of it. 

The large windows at the back of the room are trimmed with green pine garlands, with red poinsettias throughout. A large wreath hangs in the center. 

In front of the windows stands a magnificent tree, beautifully decorated and with a star on top. 

A long table covered with a red tablecloth sits to one side of the room, with a large variety of food including the dishes brought by some of the pack members. All of it nicely laid out, with plates and silverware stacked at one end. 

You turn to Lydia, your eyes displaying your shock at what she has managed to do to your boyfriend’s loft. 

“Lydia,” you breathe, eyes leaving her to roam around the loft once more, “This is amazing.” 

“You like it?” she asks, her question open to the entire pack.

A murmur of assent travels through the pack, some of them beginning to wander around the loft to admire the decorations.

Lydia claps her hands together and smiles, “Who’s hungry?”

__

After a delicious meal, full of laughter and fun, Lydia begins the Secret Santa. 

Everyone goes to grab the presents that they brought and then give them to their Secret Santa.

You give your present to Liam, Liam gives his to Stiles, Stiles gives his to Mason, Mason gives his to Hayden, Hayden gives hers to Malia, Malia gives hers to Derek, Derek gives his to Scott, Scott gives his to Lydia, and Lydia gives hers to you. 

Everyone begins opening their presents, gasps of excitement and ‘thank you’s fill the room.

The gift exchange shows you how much your pack members really know each other, and how much you all listen. There was, of course, a spending limit so that certain members of the pack wouldn’t be allowed to go overboard and spend exorbitant amounts on their gifts.

You got Liam a new bag for his lacrosse gear, knowing that he had accidentally ruined his old one, and you stuck a personalized t-shirt you had made for him inside.

Lydia, having heard you complaining about your wardrobe and not having time to shop for yourself, bought you some new clothes. Just a few items, though she would have liked to get more, all of them fitting your style perfectly while one or two may help you to change it up and step out of your comfort zone. Lydia being Lydia, you know that you can trust her to pick things that will look good on you. 

And you couldn’t be more grateful that she knew how helpful this gift would be for you.

Everyone is pleased with their gifts and the party continues as conversations carry throughout the group.

You sit next to Derek, with his arm wrapped around you and your head leaning against his shoulder. You join in a few of the various conversations, sharing laughs with your friends. 

When Derek gets up to go get another drink, you stand up too but head over to the window.

Your heartbeat picks up as you run your fingers over the ribbon wrapped around the small box in your hands.

Derek joins you at the window.

“Lydia really did a great job with this place, didn’t she?” he says softly. 

You smile and nod, glancing up at the decorations on the window again. You take a deep breath, deciding that now is the time to do this. 

“Derek.. I have something for you.”

He furrows his brows as he turns to face you, taking the small box from your hands and studying it, “I thought we were only doing the Secret Santa gifts, no extra ones.”

“Just open it.”

Derek can hear your heart racing, you know that. You also know he can probably tell how nervous you are from your chemo-signals. And you are mildly aware that you’ve caught the attention of the other supernaturals on the other side of the room, though Mason and Stiles are still kind of oblivious. 

You ignore these facts though, focusing only on Derek as he unties the ribbon on the box.

He lifts the lid off of the box to reveal a silver band. A ring. Simple and silver, but perfect for him.

He looks up at you, silently asking for you to explain what this is.

“Derek, I.. I know you’re not good at doing stuff like this, you told me on our first date that you’re not good at showing your feelings or doing romantic stuff, and that’s okay, because I love you. With my whole heart, I love you.

“I can’t imagine my future without you in it. So, will you marry me?”

Your heart is pounding in your chest and you know that Derek can hear it. You wonder if he could even hear what you were saying over the pounding of your heart. But when a huge smile takes over his face, you know he heard you. 

He closes the gap between you, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist and lifting you off the ground as he crashes his lips against yours.

“Yes.” he whispers as he pulls back, before kissing you one more time. 

The cheering of the pack behind you makes you pull away, Derek setting your feet on the ground again as you hide your face in his chest. 

You lean back eventually to look back up at Derek, both of you are still smiling widely despite your slight embarrassment as your friends continue to cheer and clap behind you.

[alecmagnuslwb]

Somewhere to Stay

Read on AO3

The rain is battering down as Magnus comes to the first stoplight he’s seen in miles. His bike which has been living on fumes for nearly two states finally clunks out on him as soon as the light turns green. A sputtering and creaking noise sounds as he hits the gas and smoke billows up from the engine almost immediately shot down by the rain.

He sighs taking out his keys and pushing the bike over onto the sidewalk and out of the roadway, not that there’s any traffic anywhere in sight. Magnus is fairly certain the people in this area don’t even know what traffic is. He rolls the bike until he can set it under an awning in front of a small bookshop.

He takes off his helmet running a hand through his dark hair tipped in pink as he pulls his phone from his pocket. Mere seconds after the screen comes to life the low battery warning signals and the screen goes dark.

“Fuck,” he says looking up at his surroundings for anywhere he might be able to take shelter and charge his phone. It’s nearing two in the morning so most of the small shops on the road are closed. There’s an all-night diner lit neon across the street, a 24-hour pawn shop a few buildings down and in the distance a bright motel sign missing the letter ‘e’ shines.

The motel is his last option, he’s not one for staying anywhere longer than he has to and he’s been on the road like this long enough to know that any pawn shop that runs 24-hours is a murder mystery just waiting to happen. So, the diner it is.

He flips the collar of his leather jacket up as much as he can and takes his duffel bag off the back of his bike shouldering it before stepping out from under the awning and sprinting across the street in an attempt to stay as dry as possible.

He doesn’t bother checking as he rushes across the road, choosing to believe the one stoplight is more of a suggestion than anything else. He swings open the door of the diner and steps inside brushing his wet hair from his forehead.

The diner is fairly empty this time of the night which is to be expected. A tall Black man in a sheriff’s uniform gets up from a booth as soon as Magnus enters tipping his hat in his direction as he heads to the door.

“Be with you in a second,” a deep voice sounds out from the kitchen as Magnus moves to sit on a high seat at one end of the counter. Magnus looks around as he waits looking at his fellow middle of the night patrons. A man in a backwards cap with a guitar case leaning by his side sits in the farthest away booth more food than seems possible for one guy his size sitting in front of him and a young woman with curly hair looks half asleep sitting at the far end of the counter with a half empty pot of coffee by her side.

The walls are black and white checker tiled, an old juke box with an out of order sign takes up one entire wall and each booth is lined with pleather seating in a variety of mix matched colors.

Magnus drops his bag and smiles. He loves places like this. Little hole in the wall diners with too many neon lights and random patrons that Magnus can observe. He’s been driving around from town to town, country to country on occasion, since he was 18.

Fresh out of the foster system he just wanted to be free, free to go anywhere and do anything. So he’d taken all the money he’d squirreled away in secret since he’d landed in the states as a little boy, bought a motorcycle and packed a bag. He’s worked every odd job one can imagine and picked up some wonderful friends along the way. But nothings ever totally stuck, nothings ever been worth staying in one spot permanently for.

London was the closest he’d gotten. Camille had been a mistake and his love for Ragnor and Catarina while vast couldn’t keep him in a place that reminded him of all the shit she’d put him through.

Wherever the hell Texas this is isn’t likely to become a permanent residence, but he can appreciate the tacky ambiance of an old school diner for a while.

“Sorry about the wait,” the deep voice from before says as the doors from the kitchen swing open. Magnus turns back around from his observing and practically falls out of his swiveling seat.

The face and body that belongs to that deep voice is absently flipping through a pad of paper looking for a blank sheet unaware of Magnus’ blatant staring.

The man is gorgeous. Too tall for his own good, obviously fit body clinging to a light grey t-shirt and large hands that in under ten seconds Magnus has at least the beginning of three specific fantasies about brewing. The man looks up from the pad finally finding a blank page and pulls a pencil from behind his ear the end getting stuck briefly in his unruly dark hair.

The man pauses for a moment once he finally looks up at Magnus for just a second which gives Magnus the opportunity to spot and admire the inky black tattoo on the left side of the man’s neck. Magnus knows that looks, that first notice, that immediate burst of attraction, he’d experienced it himself not but ten seconds prior. It’s good to know the feeling is mutual.

He shakes his head gathering himself, “Sorry about the wait, what can I get you?”

Magnus smiles leaning in a bit more than necessary across the counter. “I’m afraid I haven’t actually seen a menu yet.”

“Oh,” the man says smiling a bright smile than Magnus would pay good money he doesn’t have to see again. “We don’t actually have a menu per se, we just write everything up on the board.” He gestures to wall behind him a covered with a large blackboard. The handwriting is neat, but blocky in mostly capital letters.

“We don’t get a lot of non-regulars who basically get the same thing every time, so the owner didn’t bother with menus, sorry about that,” the man continues.

Magnus waves a hand in the air, not having menus is another appreciated quirk of places like this. “Don’t worry about it, I think I’ll just start with a coffee.”

The man nods not bothering with writing it down. “Coming right up,” he says as he sticks the pencil back behind his ear.

“Thank you…” Magnus says with a bright smile leaving an open invitation for the man to give his name.

“Alec,” he says before stepping away giving Magnus one last look over. Magnus replies with his own name and Alec nods making a brief stop to tap on the shoulder of the sleeping girl at the other end of counter. She startles awake and gives Alec a salute in thanks.

Alec returns with a mug filled to the brim and sits it in front of Magnus with a small bowl of creamer.

“Where am I exactly?” Magnus asks as he opens two of the creamer packets and dumps them into the mug.

“Midnight,” Alec replies as he starts to wipe down the counter around Magnus. Magnus frowns at the response before Alec elaborates. “That’s the name of our town. One stoplight, seven shops including this diner all named Midnight fill in the blank here, about thirty permanent residents depending on the day of the week and a motel that’s not nearly as sketchy as it appears on the outside.”

“One of those shops happen to be a mechanic that either knows how to fix a bike or has the tools they’d let me borrow to do it myself?” Magnus asks taking a sip of his coffee.

Alec shakes his, “Afraid not. There’s a shop about 15 miles from here, it’s the only one in the county and it’s closed on Sundays.”

Damn, Magnus thinks as he realizes it is Sunday.

“The motels open though if you need a place to stay and I could give you a ride to the shop on Monday,” Alec says. Magnus looks up at him surprised by the kind offer. “Or not, obviously I’m a complete stranger so I get that that could sound a bit murdery.”

Magnus chuckles which stops Alec’s small panic.

“That’d be great actually,” Magnus says unexpectedly trusting this incredibly handsome stranger in a diner at two a.m.. He lingers for a bit after that making small talk with Alec about how he’s just passing through until his eyelids start to droop and he realizes just how tired he is.

He says his goodbyes thanking Alec with a sizable tip that he really can’t afford to be leaving. The rain has settled giving Magnus the easy opportunity to push his bike along the street and over to the motel just around the corner settling in for the night.

***

Magnus sleeps all through Sunday. Alec was right, though on the outside the motel looks sketchy as hell, the interior is something almost nice. He skips the diner that night after he passes by and sees a different person behind the counter and goes for the Midnight gas station picking up a few snacks to call his dinner.

Monday morning, bright eyed and maybe putting a little more effort into his outfit and makeup than he usually would to go to a mechanic Magnus waits outside leaning against the glass windows of the diner to meet Alec.

Alec pulls up in a stereotypically Texas looking truck smiling a small smile at Magnus as he steps out. It’s the first time Magnus has seen Alec in all his glory and if everything from the waist up was a vision behind the counter the long legs that stride towards him are a whole new thing. Alec helps him load the bike into the bed of the truck and they ride quietly out to the small mechanics shop.

Mornings don’t seem to be Alec’s thing judging from the one hand on the wheel and the other holding the tallest cup of coffee Magnus has ever seen. The trip to the mechanic doesn’t take long, Alec waits outside a picture of beauty leaning against his truck with his head tipped back in the morning sun. The mechanic looks over his bike and shakes his head talking as he goes over it all.

“The short of it is, the parts this thing needs it’s gonna take a few weeks at least to get everything to fix it up for you,” the old man sighs blowing out a breath that makes his mustache shift. “You shouldn’t have let it build up troubles for so long.”

Magnus knows that, but money has been tight for a while and he just figured his trusty old bike could hold out. It seems he was wrong about that.

Magnus thanks the man before he’s handed a cost estimate and flings himself into the passenger seat of Alec’s truck with a heavy sigh leaning his head back. Alec joins him sliding into his seat, his giant cup of coffee is gone now and he seems much more alert than he had on the drive to the shop.

“Everything okay?” he asks starting up the truck.

Magnus shakes his head not moving it from where he’s leaned back.  

“Looks like I let a lot of things go for too long and it’s going to take a while to fix it, and a lot more money than I have,” he grumbles looking down at the estimate sheet in his hands.

“So, you’re sticking around for a while then?” Alec says. For a second Magnus thinks he hears something that sounds like hope in his voice when he says it.

“Looks like it,” he replies tilting his head to look at Alec. He looks very pretty in profile lit up by the Texas sun.

Alec smiles a small smile just at the corner of his lips, “I might have a solution for your money problem. I know they guy who owns the bar outside just outside of town, he’s always looking for new bartenders since they’re quitting on him all the time.”

“What a resounding review of employment,” Magnus laughs.

Alec laughs in kind. “Yeah, well the Cartoon Saloon isn’t known for its high standards, but it is the only bar in about 50 miles with a decent owner and a bouncer who doesn’t let assholes in or stick around once they show their cards.”

“The cartoon saloon?” Magnus asks incredulously. “You’ve got to be shitting me, that can’t be a real name.”

Alec just chuckles, “I shit you not.”

Magnus spends the rest of the day with Alec getting a tour of the town and who’s who of their small number of residents. He learns a bit more about Alec as a person and returns with his own little bits and pieces in kind. By dinner he’s met Meliorn, the owner of the Cartoon Saloon, and secured a position at the colorful bar starting the next night.

Meliorn leaves him at the diner just as Alec’s shift begins.

“They do not seem like the type to own a bar called the Cartoon Saloon,” Magnus says after Meliorn’s left watching Alec collect the sizable tip they’d left behind.

“We like to bust the stereotypes of the small-town Texas here,” Alec says pocketing the cash.

Magnus hums in agreement.

“That’s true,” he says swaying in his seat lightly. “I mean look at you with your big Texan truck and not a hint of accent to back it up.”

“Hey now,” Alec says playfully. “It’s not about the size of the truck, it’s about what you do with it.”

Magnus snorts, an inelegant thing that makes Alec smile.

“Of course, but still you’re not from here originally I take it.”

Alec leans on the counter, Magnus the only customer.

“I’m from New York, Manhattan specifically.”

Magnus had spent some of his formative years in Brooklyn, for a moment he wonders if there’s a chance he and Alec every unknowingly crossed paths.

“How’d a Manhattan boy end up in small town Texas?”

Alec grimaces a bit and Magnus quickly continues, “Not that you have to tell me if it’s too personal I understand.”

Alec shakes his head, “It’s okay, it’s just been a while since I had anyone ask, small town and all that, the story kind of traveled fast.”

Magnus smiles making a go on gesture encouraging him to tell the story.

“The short of it is my homophobic parents didn’t take too kindly when they caught me with my boyfriend when I was 17, things got pretty bad after that. My siblings, especially my sister, tried their best to shield me from it, but I was the oldest and it wasn’t their job. So, the day I turned 18 I left no looking back, no regrets just packed up a car and drove.”

He straightens up meeting Magnus’ eyes.

“After about a month I’d sold the car and traded it in for that big Texan truck of mine and found myself at that stoplight out there,” he smiles tilting head towards the window. The single stoplight red at the moment, not a car in sight. “I don’t know why but I decided to park outside, ended up here in this diner asking about a job and before I knew it a whole year had passed and I was living in the rented space above the bookstore. A few more years and I had a house and a best friend and for the first time in a long time I felt at home.”

Alec shrugs stepping back when Maia the aforementioned best friend and coffee girl from the night Magnus had arrived comes in. Seemingly on autopilot Alec gets her a glass of ice water and a cup of coffee writing something down on a slip of paper that he sends back to the cook. She thanks him as she lugs a stack of books onto the counter.

Alec heads back towards Magnus after that.

“Do you still see your siblings?” he asks once Alec has returned to his position leaning on the counter beside him.

Alec nods smiling fondly. “My sister Izzy and my baby brother Max have visited here and there over the years. My other brother though,” Alec shakes his head a little sadly, but seemingly resigned. “Let’s just say when it comes to Jace my parents picked a favorite and eventually he went along with it.”

“I’m sorry,” Magnus says reaching out a hand and settling it on Alec’s. It’s the first time they’ve touched and it feels right. Magnus knows what it’s like to have the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally do the opposite.  

“It’s okay,” Alec says smiling a little before flipping his hand under Magnus’ squeezing once before letting go and pushing away from the counter when the cook slings Maia’s order out. “I still have two of my siblings and I found a home here, so it all worked out in the end.”

Magnus smiles a little sadly, happy that Alec found that elusive thing he’s been driving around to trying to find for years.

“Especially since he met me,” Maia chimes in from her end of the counter. She picks up her plate, leaving her books behind, and slides into the seat beside Magnus formally introducing herself. He spends the rest of the evening there chatting with the incredibly delightful woman and tries his first full meal from the Midnight diner.

***

Two weeks pass and Magnus barely even realizes it, he now fully understands how Alec ended up just staying here in this small town. What it lacks in the bustle of city life, Midnight makes up for in the goodness of its people and the charm of the quiet area that surrounds it.

In the two weeks that have passed Magnus has gotten to know this little town and appreciate all it has to offer. There’s Maia whose sharp wit could take her anywhere and yet she chooses to stay here, putting a hard worked for law degree to good use to help the local migrant workers whenever she can. There’s the local preacher, Raphael whose religious standings may not be for Magnus, but his dark humor always makes for great conversation over breakfasts at the counter.

And that doesn’t even cover the stately book shop owner, his Zen boss Meliorn who’s all but officially turned the Cartoon Saloon into a specifically themed gay bar, Simon their local musician who often works days at the diner and can pack away more food than every other resident in town combined or the grumpy motel manager that bitches about everything but also leaves an entire bowl of mints on Magnus’ pillow every night when he comes back from a shift at the bar.

And of course there’s Alec who often works the nightshift and Magnus comes to spend his evenings with after he leaves the bar until the sun rises. It’s become his new routine five days a week. Alec whose heart is even kinder than those pretty hazel eyes, who lets him use his truck to get to work and who has depth to him that seemingly has no end.

He’s learned more about Alec in two weeks than he learned about Camille in their entire relationship and in response he’s felt comfortable sharing his own story. Telling Alec things no one else has ever known about his days in foster care, his travels and everything in between. They’ve grown incredibly close in such a short time and the tension that had been there, that attraction that had been instant has only grown thicker with each passing day. It’s like both of them are waiting to see who’s willing to make the first move.

The people of Midnight just make it feel like a place you can stay and the longer he’s there he wonders if maybe he could. So, of course that’s when he gets the call that his bike is back to being rideable.

“It’s not finished, but if you wanted to move along to somewhere where the parts won’t take as long to get it’d be doable,” the mechanic says in his thick Texas drawl over the phone.

Magnus looks over at Alec who’s standing on the other side of aisle as they peruse the bookshop flipping through of all things, a book about knitting, and he thinks for a moment.

“I trust your work, if it takes a little longer, then it takes a little longer,” Magnus says with a shrug. For the second time in his life he wants to stay, wants to see how this all plays out and this time he thinks it might have a better ending.

***

“Tacky is what that is,” Magnus says as Alec tells him all about the pink porcelain bathroom his grandma had when he was growing up.

“Says the guy who works in a bar that’s walls are covered with giant cut outs of cartoon characters,” Alec huffs as he finishes cleaning out the coffee machine. It’s the dead hours at the diner, three to five there’s almost never a single patron, except Magnus who always comes in after last call at the saloon.

“I work there,” Magnus defends swinging his legs back and forth from where he sits on the counter. A thing Alec has repeatedly told him not to do, yet continues to not stop him. “That does not mean I support the décor.”

He actually loves it, not that he’s gonna admit that out loud right now.

Alec just rolls his eyes as he rounds the counter coming to sit in the chair beside the one where Magnus rests his feet.

“What did I tell you about sitting on the counter?” he says once he’s seated reaching out to tap Magnus on the thigh two times in succession with the back of his hand.

He’s been doing that a lot more lately. Touching Magnus in light brushes, standing a little closer. Magnus isn’t sure how much longer this tension between them can stand until the levee breaks.

“I do not recall,” Magnus says his voice bright and cheery, an absolute picture of innocence. He reaches out patting Alec’s cheek lightly with the palm of his hand, much like in the same manner Alec had just tapped his thigh.

Magnus starts to pull his hand back when Alec suddenly reaches up and stops him, holding Magnus’ hand in place. They stare at each other for a moment and then just as predicted the levee breaks.

Alec surges up and in a blink of an eye his lips are connecting with Magnus’. The kiss starts slow a slide of lips and tongue that catches fire quickly. Alec maneuvers them so he’s standing between Magnus’ legs never letting their lips part for long. They stay there on the counter kissing for minutes, hours, Magnus doesn’t know until they pull back to catch their breath.

Magnus keeps Alec close his hands on each side of Alec’s neck and tilts their foreheads together.

“That was,” Alec trails off eyes opening up, his pupils blown wide.

Magnus hums in agreement trailing his fingers along the lines of the tattoo on Alec’s neck. He leans in kissing Alec one more time, chaste in comparison to the previous ones. Alec smiles stepping in impossibly closer his big hands moving from Magnus’ hips to rub along his thighs before leaning back in.

***

Two days later the mechanic calls and Magnus picks up his bike. Alec worries at his lip as he watches Magnus rev the engine to life, the bike sounding better than it has in years. Magnus catches the nervousness out of the corner of his eye as he pays the mechanic.

They haven’t really talked about what happens next. It’s been two days of bliss since their first kiss in the diner the looming reality that Magnus had intention of driving out of town as soon as his bike was ready not even crossing his mind until this moment. Clearly it’s been on Alec’s mind though.

Magnus rolls his bike over to Alec’s truck.

“I’ve got a shift at the saloon tonight, then I’ll come by the diner, maybe you can by me dinner?” Magnus says as he flips the kickstand so he can lean against his bike.

Alec’s head shoots up from where he’d been kicking aimlessly at the dirt.

“You’re staying?” he says a little uncertain and a lot hopeful.

Magnus smiles reaching out a hand that Alec immediately takes. He pulls him in close so they’re chest to chest both leaning against the bike.

“I was thinking I’d stay a little longer,” Magnus says, his turn to sound a little uncertain. Alec’s responding smile is beaming.

“Maia will be thrilled, she’s tired of just talking to me and Simon all the time, you’re way more interesting,” he says leaning in for a quick kiss.

Magnus huffs, uncertainty slipping away, “Just Maia, huh?”

Alec shrugs, “Well maybe some other people too.”

Magnus just rolls his eyes, completely endeared.

***

Another two months pass in a blink of an eye. Instead of going back to his motel room most nights (or days considering their work schedules) Magnus falls into bed at Alec’s house. Their nights at the diners are now filled with sneaking kisses and more and more frequently Alec drops by the saloon on his nights off for a drink or two.

They have breakfast with Raphael every Wednesday sitting on one side of the booth together and Maia drags them out to the Saloon on Saturdays to be her wingmen as Magnus grumbles a bit about being at his place of work on his night off. He even manages to drag Alec to the dance floor a time or two after a few sweet drinks.

He gets Alec on the back of his motorcycle and it’s easily one of the top five highlights of his life so far. The sex they have afterwards, Alec hyped up on the adrenaline of being so free on the back of Magnus’ bike also finds a spot in his top five highlights as well.

He travels to the closest city to attend an art show with Maia, he finds himself looking into renting the apartment above the bookstore and is on the first name basis with everyone in town and a number of the people in neighboring towns as well.

At first they know him as Alec’s boyfriend, but soon enough they know him for him.

He finds himself building a life. He finds himself not just wanting to stay a little longer, but to stay indefinitely.

***

Alec flips the open sign in the front window off before turning to Magnus. Turning the main lights leaving them in a muted neon glow. The juke box Simon finally got around to fixing plays a soft slow song in the background.

“Huh, never had to turn that off before,” Alec says as slides into the booth beside Magnus. “It’s kinda weird.”

Midnight Diner will be closed down the next day for the “once a decade the county inspector remembers our diner exists inspection” as Alec’s boss calls it.

Alec reaches out snatching one of the fries from the plate in front of Magnus.

“Thief,” Magnus whispers with a glare. Alec just smirks. He looks gorgeous under neon lights, the purples, blues and oranges clinging to the tips of his hair and on dark eyelashes and in that moment with that playful smirk edging at his lips Magnus realizes he’s so goddamn in love with Alec.

“I am so goddamn in love with you too,” Alec says casually, easily like it’s the simplest thing in the world as he steals another fry and pops it in his mouth. It takes Magnus a second, to catch up with the fact that he’d said I love you out loud. He doesn’t regret it, it’s truer than just about anything ever has been for him, but he hadn’t meant to say it so soon.

Alec just turns gripping Magnus’ forearm that’s resting on the table and leans in for a kiss. It’s salty and Alec’s breath definitely still smells like that pitch-black coffee he drinks, but it’s just as perfect as every kiss they’ve ever shared.

They sit there for a while longer feeding each other fries and talking about the surprise trip Alec’s been planning for them that he absolutely will not give Magnus any details about no matter how much he tries to pry something out of him. Meals, sexual favors, Agatha Christie novels to add to his ever growing collection, nothing has made Alec budge.

“It’ll be nice to get out of Midnight for a while,” Alec says. “Even if you don’t know where we’re going.”

Magnus just huffs in annoyance at Alec’s stubborn secretiveness. It will be nice, he loves it in Midnight, but a weekend away will be welcome. Afterwards he’s fairly certain that coming back to Midnight will be even sweeter though. He hasn’t brought it up officially with Alec, but Magnus wants to stay. Not just in a month to month their relationship is going well sense, but permanently. Forever, if Alec will have him.

He feels at home here, not just with Alec, but with the town and everyone else inside of it. He has favorite spots and knows local stories and it just all fits so well.

The apartment above the bookshop is now occupied by Simon after Clary dumped him for the fourth time this year according to Maia, but he’s looking into other options and he wouldn’t be lying if he hasn’t considered the fact that he stays at Alec’s house at least five days a week now.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about the future,” Magnus says. Alec drops his fry stealing mission, wiping his hands off and focusing his attention solely on Magnus. He turns as much as he can to face Magnus in the booth and trails his fingers along Magnus’ forearm.

Magnus takes a deep breath gathering up the courage to say what he wants. He knows Alec, but nearly 30 years of people telling him he’s too clingy or he’s too much for too long there’s a fear of saying it out loud.

“I want to stay, indefinitely,” Magnus says eyes shining bright as he looks at Alec. “Forever actually, if you’ll have me.”

Alec looks stunned and even though it’s probably not even a full second of quiet it’s enough for Magnus to think he needs to backtrack.

"Sorry that's too much. I'm too much," Magnus says making to pull away. But Alec's grip on his arm doesn't lessen and he's pulled right along with him. Magnus can't meet his eyes though, can't see whatever agreement or consideration is resting in them. It's quiet the buzzing sounds of the neon lights the only thing filling the space when finally after seconds that feel like hours Alec's hand lets go.

 This is it. Magnus thinks. Too much. He’s heard so many of his stories, even taken the whole Camille debacle in stride and accepted all of Magnus’ eccentricities, but this admittance just two months into their relationship is just too much too soon.

 But instead of the inevitable pull away Alec's fingers return to delicately trace up along his forearm where he'd just been gripping tight to keep Magnus from running. He trails them up along Magnus' bicep and across his shoulders till he reaches the sensitive lines of his neck and moves upward. Magnus lets out a stuttering breath at the reverent touch still unwilling to look Alec's way. 

 The fingers pause at the juncture of his jaw briefly tracing the sharp edge until Alec's large hand slides along his cheek fully cupping it softly and gently urging Magnus to turn his head and meet his eyes. 

 It takes another moment of coaxing, of Alec's thumb rubbing softly under his bottom lip before returning to rest alongside his other fingers but eventually Magnus does finally turn locking out to those hazel eyes filled not with agreement to Magnus' statement or fear or anything of the like. It's a look Magnus has never really seen directed at him before. It's love. It's adoration. It's worship. It's a heady thing that Magnus knows he'd be trying his damndest to send right back Alec's way if his own eyes weren't no doubt swimming with worry.

 "Too much of you is never enough," Alec says into the now nonexistent space between them, finally speaking once he feels that look in his eyes has been interpreted correctly.

 Magnus breathes out a sigh of relief, his eyes clearing of worry and finally he's able to send the love, adoration and worship right back. 

 He doesn't know what to say but he hopes a kiss will say it all. It’s a quick chaste thing, but he puts all the feeling he can into it.

 “I wasn’t sure, I know you never planned on staying and when you did I just wasn’t sure how long and I didn’t want to pressure you into staying in this small middle of nowhere town just for me,” Alec admits quietly.

 “You are a big part of the reason I want to stay; I won’t act like that’s not true. When I first had the option to go and get my bike fixed faster you were the sole reason I stayed, but the more time I spend here the more at home I feel with you, but also with this town. A small town in the middle of Texas with one stoplight is never where I thought I’d end up, but now it’s the only place I want to be.”

 “It’s the only place I want to be to, with you,” Alec says his eyes looking a little wet. “Forever.”

 Alec pulls Magnus in close hugging. The angle is awkward and both their knees manage to hit the table but Alec’s arms are strong and warm and permanent.

 This is home now, this diner, this town, this man.

 ***

Three Months Later

“Love, do you still have that Space Jam t-shirt?” Magnus asks as he flips through their shared closet. It’s Looney Tunes night at the saloon, Meliorn’s idea of a joke saying they need to live up to their name on occasion and Magnus’ wardrobe doesn’t exactly feature a lot of Bugs Bunny to participate in the dress code.

He does however recall spotting a black shirt with a small space jam symbol on the pocket floating around in Alec’s stuff when Magnus had officially moved out of the motel and into the house.

“Uh, yeah, I’ll get it for you,” Alec says standing up from where he’d been lacing up his boots leaving the right one untied, chest still bare.

“I got it,” Magnus says waving him off. “Bottom drawer right?”

Magnus bends down to open the drawer and sees the t-shirt right at the top, but before he can reach for it Alec trips his way over his untied shoelace to the chest of drawers and slams the drawer shut.

“No I got it,” he says clearly aiming to sound casual, but missing it by a mile wide.

Magnus looks at him, eyebrow raised. “You’re being weird.”

“I’m not being weird,” Alec scoffs hand still splayed out against the drawer keeping Magnus from even trying to open it back up.

“Whatever the hell that was just now says otherwise.”

“I’m just being a helpful boyfriend, getting that shirt for you,” Alec smiles a clear attempt to dodge whatever this is.

“Being helpful by nearly falling on your face to close the drawer shut where I’d already found what I was looking for and not letting me open it back up?” Magnus asks still eyeing his boyfriend quizzically.

“Yup,” Alec says popping the ‘p’. “So, you just go have a seat and I’ll get that for you.”

Magnus stands to his full height, Alec following but replacing his hand that was holding the drawer shut with his foot.

“Okay, yeah no, you’re being incredibly weird so I’m going to get the shirt so I can stop wondering if you’re storing a human hand under there or something with how spazzy you’re being.”

Magnus leans back down quick and Alec attempts to follow, but his untied lace gets caught on the drawer handle sending him to the ground flat on his ass. He scrambles to stop Magnus, but it’s too late he’s already picked up the shirt.

“I don’t see why you’re being so,” Magnus freezes looking at the space under the shirt. Alec’s hand falls onto the edge of the drawer clearly not seeing a point in trying to shut it anymore. Because there under the shirt that Alec never seems to wear is a small velvet box, just the right size for only one thing.

“Oh,” Magnus says in realization. “So, that’s why you didn’t want me to get the shirt.”

Alec snorts, “Yeah, no human hand or anything.”

Moments of quiet pass in their bedroom until suddenly Alec is clearing his throat to get his attention. Magnus looks at him eyes finally tearing away from the box and all the implications it holds.

“Go ahead,” Alec gestures pulling his leg up and finally tying his right shoe.

Magnus shakes his head, he desperately wants to look, but clearly Alec had some sort of plan.

“No, it’s fine, it can wait for whatever you were planning to do with it, I can just act like I saw nothing.”

Alec gives him a disbelieving look.

“Okay, I can try and act like I saw nothing.”

Alec laughs at that lifting himself up onto his knees and grabbing the box from its resting space.

“I’d rather do this now, than have you fake surprise over some romantic dinner or something,” he says flipping open the box. Nestled inside the smooth fabric is a silver ring, simple except for the thin line of black and white diamonds running through the center. “Fair warning, Greta at the pawn shop told me that only one of these diamonds is real and I get to guess which one it is.”

Magnus chuckles at that shifting onto his knees mirroring Alec.

“I was going to ask you in Austin,” Alec continues and Magnus’ breath catches. Austin had been two months ago, a spur of the moment trip just days after Magnus had moved in to support a gig Simon had.  Arguably by the standards of most it would have been too soon, but they’ve moved at lightning speed, brick on the gas since the day Magnus admitted he wanted to stay here with Alec forever. Any modern-day idea of perfect relationship timing be damned. “But then I chickened out cause I worried it was too soon after we’d just moved in together, so I’d been planning and coming up with ideas with Maia’s help for weeks so of course the one time you want to borrow one of my shirts instead of the other way around it’s this shirt.”

Magnus just shrugs an innocent smile on his face.

“So, say goodbye to rose petal dinners, instead you’re getting half-dressed on the bedroom floor.”

“I like it when we’re half-dressed on the bedroom floor so you won’t hear me complaining,” Magnus says cheekily.

“Magnus Bane,” Alec says rolling his eyes a teasing reprimand in his voice that he drops with his next words. “Will you marry me?”

Magnus scoots forward draping his arms over Alec’s bare shoulders.

“Alexander Lightwood, I absolutely will marry you.” Alec smiles bright pulling Magnus in by the waist with the hand not holding the ring kissing his fiancé with all that he has.

Eventually somewhere along the line the ring ends up on his finger somehow and they finally pull back for air.

“That’s gonna be Alexander Bane soon enough,” Alec says slightly out of breath.

Magnus leans back, a little shocked. Bane had been a name he’d chosen once he was free of the foster system and here Alec was choosing it just the same.

“You want to take my last name?”

Alec just shrugs, like it’s no big deal, even though Magnus knows he knows it’s a big deal.

“The Lightwood name lost it’s meaning for me the day my parents decided I wasn’t worth their time, so yeah, if it’s okay with you I want to take your last name.”

Magnus smiles eyes suddenly feeling a little wet, “Of course it’s okay with me.”

He pulls Alec in hugging him tight, the ring looking just perfect on his finger as he runs his hand through Alec’s hair.

“We should see if Raphael is free right now,” Magnus says mumbling it into the curve of Alec’s neck where he’s resting. Alec pulls back.

“Wait do you mean-“

“Sure, I mean we both don’t have to be at work for,” Magnus pauses looking at the alarm clock on his side of the bed briefly. “Another three hours, Maia’s a lawyer so I’m sure she can whip us up a marriage license in no time. So why not?”

“Not that I don’t love the idea of marrying you on a whim before dinner, but neither of us are fully dressed and I thought maybe you’d want Ragnor and Cat to be here, and you know Iz and Max.”

“Oh, right, them,” Magnus says feeling a little embarrassed he’d been so caught up in the euphoria of shirtless Alec proposing that he’d forgotten their family who don’t live within their little six block radius.

“Maybe next week then,” Magnus shrugs and Alec laughs which is quickly cut off in favor of more kissing.

A week later somehow impossibly with Ragnor, Cat, Max, and Izzy in the front row Maia hands them a marriage license she obtained “mostly legally” and with Raphael proceeding they exchange vows and rings with only one real diamond between them in front of a small cluster of the town’s residents.

When they kiss after saying I do it feels like the beginning of everything, like all his years of feeling lonely and out of place; of traveling with no real end in sight have led him here to this man, to this town.

He’s never stayed in one place for long, but now here in this tiny Texas town, he’s finally home.

[xxxrubytuesdayxxx]

If you turn Jimin down...

Word Count: 1,022

Credit: My ex-flatmate also wrote the majority of this section during another of our late-night, cross-continental writing sessions.

Disclaimers: This is part (50) of a Choose Your Own Ending!

Start here:

“Not helping  Jimin,” you tell him softly. He looks a little disappointed, but shrugs his acquiescence and sinks back into his chair. 

“I wouldn’t even worry about it anyway, noona,” he comments. “They don’t seem too keen on us being in those variety shows these days so Hitman Bang is probably just trying to be diplomatic. Everyone knows JK is too young and flighty to make a convincing reality-show husband. That’s probably why he’s offering him as tribute. You know - seem willing, but offer something that he knows won’t work out.” His eyes sparkle with mischief, and you wonder, not for the first time, why people don’t realise there’s a lot more going on in Jimin’s head than he’s given credit for. It’s how he gets away with that innocent demeanor whilst making jokes that would make a whore blush once the cameras stop rolling.

Turns out he’s right and Hitman Bang gets to keep the tv producers on side whilst making sure that his golden goose BTS is kept free to produce their own content and before you know it they’ve got a whole new schedule lined up and Jeongguk is sneaking into your room on a regular basis whilst Joon faithfully turns a blind eye, even if just to keep the peace.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I need shelves,” Namjoon announces.

It’s Sunday night at the Bangtan household, and having spent the entire weekend filming the next few Run BTS episodes, the boys decide to stay in. All the heads in the living room turn to look at the source of the voice, standing in the entryway, holding a KAWS figure in each hand.

“Get one of the runners to handle it,” Yoongi suggests with a shrug, going back to his laptop. “We have too much to do this week.”

“It’s better to build it yourself,” Tae says, “have that sense of accomplishment, you know?”

“Sure,” Yoongi replies without looking up.

“Hyung,” Jeongguk pipes up, “I’ll help you look for a toolbox.”

“We have a toolbox?” Jimin asks curiously.

“Yah, there are seven able-bodied men in this apartment,” Jin answers confidently, getting up to help the search, “I’m sure one of us has a toolbox.”

About 20 minutes later, shoulders slumped and with a heavy sigh, Jin concludes rather defeatedly, “None of us have a toolbox.”

You all decide to go out the next day and make a trip out of it. You, Namjoon and Jeongguk will head to IKEA; Jin, Hobi, Tae and Jimin will be putting together and buying a toolbox at a nearby hardware store. Yoongi opts to stay in and hold the fort in case any unexpected assignments turn up. Both of your groups have two bodyguards assigned to them, dressed as civilians - making you look like just another group of friends running errands on a regular Monday.

Making your way through the familiar IKEA maze, the three of you stop often in the room displays and wait for Namjoon as he looks around. You quietly watch as Jeongguk weaves through the furniture in these rooms, picking the smaller things up and inspecting them before putting them back down, knocking on the wooden tables to get a feel for them. He’s quiet and contemplative, but he’ll smile warmly at you every time your eyes meet.

“Are you looking for something in particular?” you ask him, taking a seat on one of the couches. He moves away from the table lamp he was looking at and flops down next to you.

“Hm, not really,” he says, “just thinking.”

“About your new place?” you ask, referring to the multi-billion-won apartment he bought just a month ago.

“Yeah, I haven’t furnished it,” he laughs awkwardly. “I was thinking maybe it’s about time.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” you say to him, “you live in the dorm anyway.” A part of you assumes it will be easier for you guys to have privacy if he spends more time at his new place, but the other part of you worries that since you live in the dorm, the situation might turn out just the opposite.

“Will you help?” he asks quietly, “look at things with me?” Your heart softens at his request. “Since I don’t know room dimensions yet, maybe we can just look at things I might need,” he says with a shrug.

“Your apartment is empty, you’re going to need literally everything,” you laugh gently.

He laughs as well, “I know, noona! I mean, help me with where to start.”

“Kitchen,” you say determinedly, getting on your feet, “let’s go.” He springs up and gives you that cute smile you love, at the same time towering over you.

The two of you spend the rest of the afternoon hypothetically decorating Jeongguk’s apartment. He walks up to a mock kitchen and tells you he likes it, asks you what you think. You try not to visibly melt when he suggests a custom wardrobe with some extra few drawers - for you. You tell him you like the idea of a series of rugs in the living room; he reminds you that neither of you enjoy vacuuming very much. You suggest a few couches, and the two of you proceed to test each one. You debate on lamps, white vs yellow.

The three of you - with the bodyguards lingering a few feet away - end up at the queue to pay with a trolley of Namjoon’s flat-packed shelves and a few odd bits in hand. Along the way Jeongguk has grabbed photo frames for Yoongi, empty food containers for Jin and a watering can for Taehyung. In his pocket sits a piece of paper with Swedish furniture names scribbled haphazardly onto it, in your handwriting. Standing in line at check-out, you think back to the several moments in the day where he had included and considered you in his future living situation, and watching him talk to Namjoon excitedly about blinds vs curtains, you feel your heart warm. You could get used to this. Maybe it’s finally time to ask Big Hit if there’s any chance you and he can date, if you both keep things discreet.

If you tell Big Hit that you and Jeongguk have feelings for each other If you keep it on the q.t.

[jaehyunspeachparty]

The tour - [part 3]

You knock excitedly on Jaehyun's hotel door. It didn't take long for someone to open it, but it wasn't the person you expected. "Jaehyun this is for you." Taeil stood in front of you and grinned broadly. In the background, you can see Jaehyun coming over and suddenly grinning too. "Fine, I'm going to go to Haechan." Taeil sighed and took his things. You didn't want him to go because of you, but he was already out of the room. "Why do I have the honor that you are visiting me and why are you so happy?" Jaehyun closed the door and leaned against it. With your eyes wide open, you take the paper bag, which you were holding the whole time and put it in front of his eyes. "Good coffee is the reason." You left the bag in his hands and took off your shoes so that you could sit on his bed. "You really hate the coffee here." He followed you and looked into the bag. You shrug your shoulders and wait for him to open the things. Jaehyun pulled out a French press and a pack of ground coffee. "I'm more of the type for the Bialetti espresso maker, but here in the hotel, we can't have a stove. That's why a French press is needed." You get up excitedly and point to the coffee pack. "I bought it all because I have coffee from France here. My life is saved." You hug Jaehyun with joy and he started laughing. "I always thought Johnny was obsessed with coffee, but you're a whole new level." He opened the French Press and shook his head. "Do you still have time? Are we going to have a coffee?" Like a small child, you hang on his sleeve and bounce up and down. "Yes, I have enough time." He couldn't stop smiling. "Very good, because I've never used a French press before." You take the instructions out of the packaging and try to study them. But Jaehyun took it from your hand and put it back. "Don't worry I know how to do it. I'll show you." He smiled and removed a spoon and the kettle from the cupboard. In the meantime, you open the coffee and inhale the chocolate scent. The scent reminded you of your father and you get sentimental about the thought when you spent the last summer with him in France. He had sent you the coffee pack when you complained about the terrible coffee for almost 20 minutes during the last phone call. "You are a junkie." Jaehyun rolled his eyes when he saw that your nose was deep in the coffee pack. "Leave me. Everyone has their problems." You wink and put the coffee pack aside again. Jaehyun stood close behind you and started to explain everything to you.

"Okay, so you take about three tablespoons of the coffee and put them in the French press." His voice suddenly became very calm, deep and he was so close to you that you could feel his breath on your neck. Your body tensed and you notice that your pulse rose. "Okay and now fill it up with the hot water." You take the kettle and start filling the French press with it. But Jaehyun suddenly took your hand and pour the water in with you in a circle. "It's better that way. Don't ask me why, but Johnny said that's important." He didn't let go of your hand and when the French press was full, he put the kettle beside you. When his hand released from yours, you can still feel the warmth of his skin. You were still completely electrified by his touch and your mind was starting to go crazy. "And now we wait for a little." He whispered and you feel his body even closer to yours. You suddenly felt so hot and you didn't know why you suddenly became so nervous. But somehow you enjoyed his presence. "Okay, then we have to stir the coffee now so that the flavors spread better." You follow his instructions and take the spoon to stir. It was so quiet between you during this time, you can still feel his breath and you didn't know how to react to the tension. "Okay and now the lid." His voice was so gentle, so calm, it was like a melody to you. "We'll let it stay for 5 minutes now." Now he turned away to set a timer on his iPhone. Somehow you were relieved that he was keeping a little distance from you. The tension had already become too much for you. Meanwhile, Jaehyun sat on the edge of the bed and looked up at you. "Today is our last concert in America. Are you going to watch it?" You had to admit that most of the time you had so much to do that you never actually got to see their concert. "I'm still in Europe with you guys. I'll take a look at it then." You lean against the edge of the table and look at him. "But the concert is bigger here. Come watch it." He bobbed his foot up and down impatiently and you realize that it seemed important to him. "Okay okay. I'll take my time." You smile and Jaehyun jumped up to you immediately. "Very good. You won't regret it." And at that moment he was suddenly so close to you that you could not breathe. You didn't know how to react and his eyes were so deep in your eyes that you could only hear your own pulse. What was this tension? What was that between you? Why do you enjoy his attention so much? Why did you get nervous about his touch? But your thoughts got interrupted by the timer rang and his body was again away from you. "Perfect. You have to push it down slowly now." Jaehyun was standing next to you and you followed his instruction while brewing two cups. Somehow you had the feeling that he was staring at you, but you didn't want to look at him since your mind was already crazy anyway. When you were finished, you poured the ready coffee and smiled proudly. "Ahhh it smells so good." Jaehyun grinned and took the cup. He sniffed it again and when you took the cup, he makes the first sip. It didn't take a second and his eyes widened. "And?" You were really excited and you were excited to see how he would react. "Wow, that is incredible. If we are in France, I have to get one like that." He took another sip and you are so happy that he liked it. He keeps drinking and you watch him. It was fascinating. His style, his looks, his skin, his laugh. Everything was special about him and at that moment you weren't sure if you might have a little crush on him. But you had to drop the thought immediately because he had a girlfriend after all. "What?" He put down his cup and laughed. You look at him questioningly. "You stare at me. Do I have something on my face?" He touched his chin and checked your reaction. You freeze at that moment and you didn't know what to say. Maybe I have a crush on you but you have a girlfriend? That would be ridiculous. "I bet you were once a really cute kid." You sit on the bed and grin at him. "How do you come up with that?" He sat down next to you and looked irritated at you. "I don't know. You with your dimples." You poke his cheek and giggle like a pubescent girl. Why it was so difficult for you to behave normally with him? "You are really obsessed with my dimples." He laughed and leaned his shoulder against yours. "Well, you are my dimple boy." You turn your face to him and suddenly you were so close to him again. His deep brown eyes hit you right in the heart and you could feel your heart almost leaping out of your chest. What was wrong with you? It didn't just feel like a harmless crush anymore. You can feel his breath on your nose. You feel your shoulder on his. He was warm, he smelled so good and you feel so comfortable with him. Should you dare? Should you kiss him? You look up at him and when your faces were so close, someone knocked on the door. Jaehyun immediately moved away from you and looked at his iPhone. "Shit. This is my manager. It's so late." And from one moment to the next, that special moment was gone and it was as before. Jaehyun was gone and you had to work. But this time you had to watch the concert.

That evening you took the time to see the whole concert. You were thrilled because you could see how professional the boys were. Everyone was amazing and you were amazed at how great Jaehyun's voice was live. He might have sung short verses in front of you, but at the concert, you could see his variety of voices. The concert was an experience. You have never seen anything in your life like this before and you understand the hype more and more. But in the end, you were needed and you had to go backstage again to continue your work. You went into one of the dressing rooms where two of the makeup artists were sitting and you sat down on a table to quickly work through everything because you couldn't wait to go to Jaehyun to tell him how great you found the concert. Somehow you were really excited to see him. So you continue your work and you hear that the two women started chatting. Ever since your boss was so keen on K-pop, each of the event managers had Korean lessons. Your boss really invested a lot of money in there. So far, you couldn’t use it and it was just fine because most SM employees just talked about everything in front of you in English. Actually, you shouldn’t eavesdrop on other conversations, but you love tea and you could practice your Korean. It became interesting when two of the make-up artists talked about the boys. And – oh boy – there was a lot of tea. "Have you ever slept with one of the idols?" It seemed that one was still quite new in the crew. "Yes." The other said this as if it were self-evident. "Really? Who?" The other one became really curious and so did you. You had to be careful that it didn’t seem too obvious that you were listening to their conversation. "Lucas." The girls started to giggle. "And how was it?" "Hmmm ... not so exciting." Her enthusiasm was really limited. "Oh really?" The other one was almost disappointed, after all this excitement. "But there are a few hoes under NCT. Two should be really good in bed, so I've heard that, but they only sleep with idols." "Who is it?" You were glad that the other one asked because you wanted to hear it too. You became so curious that you can’t stand the tension. "One is Johnny." "Oh really? I thought he is more the boyfriend guy." That's what you thought too, but you've been wrong about those guys many times. "I think he is, but now he's living his idol life. Women are really attracted to his charisma. He's so exotic for them, but he's still Korean." You had to agree because Johnny was really personable. You could understand that women were subject to his charm and understandable that he was now living it. "Okay, and who is the second person?" You were also curious who it could be. You only knew the guys from NCT 127, but you could still imagine that it is perhaps Taeyong, maybe Mark, his insecurity could also be a good match for girls (especially young girls). "Jaehyun." When one of them announced it, you had to hold yourself back so that you don’t show any reaction. It surprised you because he didn’t give you this vibe. “What? Really? He has a girlfriend, right?" The colleague was just as shocked as you. But somehow you were also shocked and you realize that your heart stopped short. “Yes, he is together with his girlfriend for one year. But he's cheating on her constantly. He's very popular with the girls. Many idols want to meet him, but I saw it myself when he fucked with an idol from a very famous girl group in the wardrobes." You still couldn’t believe that was true. Somehow you were disappointed with him, though you really couldn’t have cared. But now you understand what Jaehyun meant at your first meeting under "mistakes". "Oh wow, but if you look so good and have a choice, then you can’t really be faithful."You couldn’t believe that you had just heard it all this way. You didn’t know how to face Jaehyun now. "I'm curious who is Jaehyun next “victim”. After all, his girlfriend is not here." The women began to giggle. "Well, I wouldn’t mind a one-night stand with Jaehyun." They started laughing again. But then the other one became serious. "Well, if it were that easy. The guy is high level, and he's just make out and fucking with the best and most beautiful people, just like other idols. We're just not relevant to such people." One sighed and you keep trying to keep your composure. "Should we get a coffee?" The other colleague suggested this and the two then went out of the room. But you couldn't concentrate anymore. You always had to think about what the women said. You didn't know what to feel, but it didn't feel good. Somehow you were disappointed. NO! Jealous. NO! Angry ... oh, you didn't know what to feel anyway. You fold down your laptop and let out a silent scream while laying your head on the laptop. Why is your heart racing so fast? Why do you feel it all? But then you try to get your composure again and try to forget it all. Why should you listen to rumors? You try to calm down a bit, but your concentration was gone anyway.  You take your things and want to go, but then Jaehyun came towards you. He was wearing his cap backward, was sweaty, but still looked very good. "Hey, how did you like the show? You watched it, right?" He smiled excitedly and held your upper arm. It was almost like he knew you wanted to run away quickly. "Yes, I saw it." You stutter and look unsure at the ground. But before you could say anything more, a group of people and Johnny came to you two. "Jaehyun we still have to take a picture." His manager waved to him and everyone was preparing for the photo. Johnny was dressed like Jaehyun, just as sweaty and wear a cap like Jaehyun. You watch the two position themselves and pose for the photo. And somehow you realized it. You just couldn't see it the whole time. Here they were, two fuckboys. They looked so confident and almost a little conceited. You didn't want to do this to yourself anymore and just try to disappear as quickly as possible.

You do the rest of the work in your room, but you decided afterward to go to the bar, even though it was quite late. But you still couldn't turn off your thoughts. Sleeping wasn't an option anyway, and a little martini wouldn't kill you. The bar downstairs was relatively full for the time and almost everything was occupied. The whole staff from the concerts celebrated that the America tour was over. You sit down on a small table on a bench. It took ages for you to get the martini, but when you could take the first sip, your body relaxed. You sit back and watch the people. You have been with these people for so long and yet they were so strange to you. You argue and talk to them every day, but they weren't interested in friendship. It was okay, but sometimes boring. And suddenly a person came into the room and he clearly stand out from the mass. It was Doyoung. From time to time you talked for a bit, a little small talk, but that's about it. You watch him. He was tall and slim. He greeted a few people and tried to order a beer. And when he got it, he looked around and didn't know which group to go to. He looked like a little puppy and when his eyes brushed yours, you smiled. You notice that he hesitated for a moment, but then he came to you. "May I sit next to you?" He smiled and you nod. He slid onto the bench opposite and took a sip of your beer. "I watched your concert today." You put your glass down and use your toothpick where the olive was on to stir in your martini. "And did you like it?" His eyebrows went up and he smiled in surprise. "Yes." You had to admit it, it was really unique. "I've seen a few concerts because of my work, but this was a completely different class." You notice that Doyoung was flattered and he looked down at him a little ashamed. "Thank you. It was a lot of work." He took another sip of his beer, but this time it was much bigger. It was quiet between you twp and Doyoung didn't dare to look at you anymore. "You work very hard don't you?" Your voice was very tender, very gentle. Almost like a mother to her child. And somehow it worked on him and his face slowly got color and he looked up at you. "Yes. It's a tough job." There was so much seriousness in his voice that it almost frightened you. You didn't even know a bit how hard they worked, but you appreciate what you knew. "And is that what you want?" Of course it had to be. You couldn't imagine anything else. You had seen the past few days and weeks how the managers dealt with the idols. The tone of the employees was very different. Sometimes it frightened you. "Well, it somehow became my dream." He played thoughtfully with the glass rim and you could see him digressing with his thoughts. But after a few seconds, he came back to himself and tried to continue your conversation. "What is your dream? Would you like to run your own company?" He looked into the eyes and smiled very gently. "No, it's not that. I know that sounds cheesy, but my dream is to be a mother. It has always been within me and I always dream of a big family. I don't care what I work as long as I have my children in my house." In fact, you hardly tell anyone that this is your dream. Sometimes you have been convicted of wanting to become a mother. Some women looks down on you and look at you as if you were breaking the feminist code. You love your job, but there is always something in you that longs for children. You thought Harvey would be the man, but over time you realized that he wasn't suitable as a father. "It's not cheesy. It's a nice dream." Doyoung smiled and it seemed as if he could meet you honestly for the first time.

It was pleasant to have a conversation partner that evening that you could open up to. Doyoung was attentive, intelligent and showed a lot of empathy. And somehow you could talk to him about a lot of things. It was like talking to an old good friend who you hadn't seen in years. "There you are!" Suddenly a group of boys was at your table and spoke to Doyoung. It was Yuta, Johnny, Haechan, Taeil and ... Jaehyun. You don't dare to look at him, because how could you, after hearing all of this? "Come there is a bigger table free. Let's sit over." Taeil gestured to the next free table and Doyoung looked at you. Apparently he had also enjoyed the conversation and he looked a little disappointed, but you nod and sit down with the boys on the larger, round table next to you. Jaehyun was sitting right across from you and you can see him looking at you. And suddenly you were uncomfortable. You felt like the next victim for his prowl. You weren't such a girl that someone seduce for one night and then forget her. With every man you've slept with, you've loved. You surely won't let a "fuckboy" take that away from you. He just managed to get back into your thoughts. You couldn't follow the boys' conversations because you always had to think about what the girls said. "Y/N. What do you mean?" Haechan rip yourself out of your thoughts and you look around irritated. Apparently they had asked you something before, but you were so lost that you hadn't noticed. "Hmm?" You take a big sip with your eyes wide open and wait for them to repeat the question. "Which of us looks best? We need an opinion from someone outside." Haechan grinned cheekily and leaned back. You were a little surprised by this question because you didn't expect it. You look around in confusion and don't know what to say. Haechan stared at you all the time as if he knew something. Did Jaehyun tell him anything? "Just leave her. It doesn't always have to be about looks." Doyoung rolled his eyes and leaned back. "You only say it because you know you'll lose. Come on, don't be shy Y/N." Yuta grinned and leaned curiously over the table. "Guys, I don't think that's a good thing." You were already a little bit tipsy by now and the next sip of your martini didn't make it any better. "Come on, we don’t blame you." Johnny winked and looked at you curiously. "Just say it." Jaehyun leaned back and his dimples appeared. He seemed confident of victory, since you had hinted to him several times that you thought he was handsome. But you were mad at him. You were angry, jealous, sad. You didn't know why you were so offended. Maybe because you thought he was someone else. You didn't want to give him this satisfaction. You look at him and see how confident he was. He knew you would choose him and you no longer knew what to say and do. You take another sip of martini and decide to hurt Jaehyun. "Doyoung." When you have said the words, you keep staring at Jaehyun. The corners of his mouth went down and he also stared at you. You hear the other boys talk and were surprised about the result, but you couldn't hear anything of them. You were focused on Jaehyun and you couldn't let go of him in your thoughts. "Guys, I think I'm going to go to sleep. I'm pretty done from the concert." Jaehyun got up and pats Johnny’s shoulder before leaving. You are considering if you should run after him and talk to him. But you decide to stay seated. You kept drinking your martini and you were convinced that you had done the right thing. But fate sometimes predetermined other ways...

About us masterlist

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[collecting-stories]

Secret Santa - Connor Murphy

A/N: Getting some things out before Christmas comes. Ah! 

It’s Christmas time and the reader got Connor Murphy for secret Santa. 

-

“It’s secret Santa, it’s anonymous.” Jared pointed out, looking passed you toward the sign for the food court. It’d only been ten minutes since he parked the car and you walked inside but Panera was really starting to call to him.

“No, it’s supposed to be a surprise to the other person, it’s not anonymous.” You replied, ignoring his longing looks and starting to walk again, “What if we got each other? And then I give him his present and it’s shit and he’s gotten me something nice.”  

“Knowing him he’ll have forgotten until the day of and end up giving whoever he got a joint.” Jared pointed out. “Or Wednesday Addams will have a freak-out and then no gifts.”

“Can you just help me?”  

“Alright, alright. I gotta buy a present for Evan anyway.”  

“You got Evan?” You asked.  

“Unfortunately.” Jared had been tempted to the name back in Zoe’s jar and pick again, not exactly wanting to tackle buying a present for Evan. He would have preferred Alana or even Zoe, he could have just gotten off with an itunes giftcard and a cheesy card.  

“Please, Evan is easy.” You had gotten Evan last year and given him a forest guide, plus when the weather cleared the two of you had taken a trip to the state park together. Connor had not participated last year.  

“Connor is easy too, buy him a joint or lay on his bed naked...he’d probably be down for both.” It was no secret that you and Connor had a thing going on. If you could call awkward flirting and pinning over each other from a distance a thing.  

You thought that going away to college would make it harder to keep in touch with everyone but somehow with Connor, it had become easier. While Evan had opted for in-state (closer to Zoe he claimed but closer to his mom you were sure), you and Jared had both ended up out of state, at the same college. Connor was “taking a year off” and working and yet you were certain he spent more time in your dorm than your roommate did. He drove the four hours up on Friday nights and stayed until Sunday evening, you texted him constantly and had managed to convince him to make a snapchat (“So I can see your beautiful face every day”). But you were just friends. Or something along that line, he hadn’t talked about wanting more and you were afraid that if you mentioned it he would want less.  

“Jared!” You hissed, glaring at him.  

“You could lay on my bed naked.” He smiled cheekily, earning an eye roll from you.  

“Keep dreaming.”  

“What about money?” It was what he was thinking about getting Evan and at least if you gave Connor money too then he wouldn’t get flack from Alana about his gift being impersonal.

“I was thinking something more personal than that. You’re not helpful.”  

“I never said I would be. Besides I thought you got me and that’s why you wanted to go out.” Jared pointed out.  

“I needed a car. You have a car.” You replied, shrugging.  

“I can’t believe you used me for my car.”  

“Jared, focus, presents.”  

-

You weren’t surprised when Zoe told you that Connor would not be joining the party. He had, according to her, had a blow-out tantrum over something Larry had said earlier and had locked himself in his room. And despite her warning not to go upstairs you did anyway, carrying your giftbag with you. Willingly choosing to take your chances on Connor when you could easily stay downstairs with the rest of the party.  

You knocked on his closed bedroom door, listening for his inevitable ‘fuck off’.  

“What?” Connor shouted, a harsh tone to his voice.  

“Is it okay if I come in?”  

“Tell Zoe I’m not coming downstairs,” he yelled, “this whole thing is stupid.”  

You waited for a minute, mulling over whether you should go back downstairs before finally deciding to try one more time. “Connor?”

“Go away.”

“I’m not here to drag you downstairs Connor, I got your name for secret Santa so, stupid or not I have a present for you,” you held up the bag as proof even though he couldn’t see it.  

While you couldn’t hear the sigh that escaped his lips you could imagine it. “Come in.”

“So, it’s not much, but,” you handed over the present as you came in, standing awkwardly at the edge of his bed. He was laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling and throwing a hackey-sac up in the air. He looked over at you, managing to catch the sac before it landed on his face and sat up, taking the gift bag.  

“I didn’t get you anything.” He mentioned, picking at tissue paper.  

“It’s not a big deal, I got your name so-“ You shrugged.  

“That’s what I mean. I got your name too.”  

“Just give me a joint or something, it’s really not that important. If you don’t wanna participate you don’t have to.” Zoe made everyone pick names at her friends-giving, which Connor also made himself scarce from. He didn’t want to be part of the secret Santa and he’d told her enough times that she should have known but she insisted that he take part.  

It didn’t matter to you that he hadn’t gotten you anything. Regardless of the idea, the intent of the tradition was not to receive. And besides, he had given you plenty. He stopped at Starbucks every Friday and brought you ridiculously overpriced lattes. He bought you packs of pens or notebooks or random things he found while stocking shelves at Target. He spent money on gas driving eight hours every weekend just to see you. No gift could top that.  

“Yeah but I still feel shitty about it now.”

“Did you think I wouldn’t get you a present?”

“I thought Zoe would tell you I wasn’t gonna do it.” He replied, fiddling with the tag, you’d written his name in pretty cursive.  

“Well too late for that, open your present, I wanna see if you like it.”

“Thought you said it wasn’t a big deal?”  

“It’s not.”

“Seems like it.” He mumbled, pulling different tissue-wrapped gifts out. It wasn’t much. A pair of socks with marijuana leaves on them, a dark grey sweater that looked warm and that Evan had weirdly known the right size for, a moleskine sketch-book and some watercolors that you’d spent way too much money on, and a set of Christmas themed scrunchies as a gag. He held up the pack of scrunchies, shaking them and watching the bells on the red one jingle.

There was a long pause, thoughtful even, as he looked over the presents that you had spent the weeks between Thanksgiving break and Christmas break mulling over. The green scrunchie in the pack was velvet and he tore the plastic binding them together so he could pull his hair back with that one. It was his favorite color and while he realized that it was just a stupid variety pack he recognized from a display at his Target, he knew there were two other packs as well. Maybe it was too much to be hopeful for but he sort of wished you had chosen that specific one because of the green.  

You were still standing there, waiting in silence. Watching him patiently. You gave the best gifts, he knew from experience. In third grade you made everyone in class ornaments out of intricately folded paper. You’d made him a snowflake and glittered the edges dark green and told him you hoped he liked it because you knew that was his favorite color. The paper was a page from your favorite book, you had mentioned when he attempted to make out as many words as he could. Tuck Everlasting, you said you’d been to the town where they filmed and it was right by the beach.  

He hadn’t said it then but he had thought about how fun it would be to go to the beach with you.

“Hold on,” Connor jumped up and went over to his desk. He made a show of rummaging through papers and drawers.  

“Connor,” You stayed in place but twisted your body to follow his movements.  

“I’ve got something I can give you.”  

“It’s really not a-“

“Not a big deal, I know, I know, just, just close your eyes.” He requested, turning back toward you.  

“Why?”  

“Just do it okay?”

You closed your eyes and waited for whatever might happen next. His footsteps were muffled by the carpet but you felt his hands on your upper arms. You could hear him breath and, as he leaned in, you realized you could feel his breath on your face. Just as you were about to open your eyes and ask what he was doing you felt his nose brush against yours and his lips press a kiss to yours. It wasn’t anything especially romantic or passionate. It was quick, a closed mouth kiss, just the ghost of the feeling of Connor’s mouth on yours and then he was gone. You opened your eyes and he was still holding your upper arms but he was looking at you a little more vulnerably than before.  

And you opened your mouth to say something intelligent but the only thing that came out was, “Oh, thank you.”

The nerves broke and Connor smiled, teeth and all, so close to laughter he let you go to cover his mouth, “did you just say thank you?”

“You said it was a present,” you dumbly replied, the heat of embarrassment warming your face.  

“No one says thank you after someone kisses them.”  

“Maybe they do if it’s a present.”  

“I don’t think so.” Connor teased. He undid his bun and then tied it back up, a nervous habit you’d picked up on from all the times he spent at your dorm.  

“Well next time I won’t say thank you.”  

“You might. I might be that good a kisser.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” You tried for even an ounce of sass but all you could muster was the same tone of awe you’d had since he kissed you. He had kissed you and your whole body felt like it was tingling with a wonderful buzz of happiness.  

“Who do you have to stack me up against other than Evan?” He joked, sitting back on his bed. He was trying to play it cool, doing a better job than you, though he was still filled with nerves. Had he read the situation right? Did you feel the same way about him that he felt about you?

“Oh god, Zoe told you about that?” You paled at the thought of Connor knowing about that kiss. A dare Freshmen year of high school.  

“Jared.”

“That’s even worse!” You groaned.  

“It’s not so bad.” Connor replied, “didn’t turn me off the idea of kissing you.”

-

I’m finally posting again and it’s still whatever I want...sorry, its the most I can do for now. 

[wherefunsurvives]

The Ultimate College COVID Packing List

Okay kids, you’ve seen the post about packing light for college, so here’s some specifics for all of you incoming freshmen or returning students who will be living on campus! This is NOT the year to bring extra furniture, decorations, etc. This is the year to pack light and be ready to get on out of there at a moment’s notice if you have to. i proudly present to you -

“What to bring and what not to bring when going to college in a global pandemic!!!”

STORAGE

i used to swear by my camp trunk when i packed for school and while a trunk can be useful because it has more space inside it’s going to be harder to take on a plane or bus. If you go for a trunk, make sure its combined dimensions (length+width+height) are 62 inches or less (the size requirement for checked luggage). The ideal size would probably be a 32x17x13 inch trunk.

Instead of trunks or big containers, go for a combination of suitcases and duffle bags. Your goal should be to minimize luggage - you want be able to carry everything through an airport without any help. So let’s say in theory at MOST you should have a combination that looks something like:

2 checked suitcases + 1 checked duffle + 1 carryon duffle + one personal item backpack

1 checked suitcase + 1 checked duffle + 1 carryon suitcase + one personal item backpack

1 checked suitcase + 1 carryon suitcase + 1 personal item duffle

Get creative, mix and match, calculate the costs for each combination, which will vary depending on if you’re flying, taking a bus, driving, or taking a train. 

Checked and carryon luggage should ideally have 4 spinner wheels and a handle, this will make it easier to move all by yourself. Put your duffles around the handles of the luggage so you can carry everything yourself with minimal effort. If you have checked luggage and carryon luggage, consider a bag connector like this one! You can find surprisingly decent luggage at Costco and from Travelpro, which is designed for pilots and flight attendants but has massive markdowns all the time. 

A good duffle should be spacious with multiple compartments or pockets. If you’re an experienced camper or backpacker, maybe use those types of bags! If you’re not, get something that’s 40 liters of space or more. i bought this 50L duffle for $30 and it’s absolutely absurd the amount of stuff i can fit in it.Leave all other storage options at home. 

Don’t bring your own desk, drawers, furniture etc. Use only the furniture provided by the dorm. Don’t even bring a laundry hamper! Get a fabric laundry bag that you can easily fold. 

LEARN HOW TO PACK EFFICIENTLY. Choose your fighter, the army rolling method or the KonMari folding method (Marie Kondo also has a great video on how to organize what you pack and choose only what you need). This will allow you to bring the amount of clothes you need while taking up minimal space. Speaking of which -

CLOTHING

Your goal is to minimize both items and travel (meaning you shouldn’t plan as if you’re going to travel home every break to swap out clothes). Now is a great time to learn how to build a capsule wardrobe of basic items that can be mixed and matched. Keep it simple. Obviously if you’re in a warmer climate, this will be easier. For colleges with seasons, i’d say aim for 2 pairs of jeans or trousers you like, 1 pair of dress pants, and 1-2 pairs of leggings/joggers/comfortable pants. 1 pair of shorts, no more than 2 skirts, no more than 3 dresses (1 nicer, 1 more casual and comfortable). 10-12 shirts or less (include a variety of tanks, tee shirts, long sleeves, button downs, sweaters, etc.) and 3-5 “layers” like a blazer, cardigan, hoodie, etc. 2 pairs of pajamas, one for warmer weather and one for cooler weather. One raincoat, one fall/spring midweight jacket, one good winter coat - if you’re in Chicago, NYC, etc. invest in a warm parka, and i don’t mean Canada Goose. Just something sturdy that will keep you warm.

You’re going to repeat outfits. That’s fine. You’re not going anywhere important and you’ll be spending a lot of time in your room online. Being able to get out is more important than looking cute.

Pack an appropriate amount of underwear, socks, bras, etc. Bring a hat or two, one for sun and a thick beanie for the cold. Bring one tie and one pair of snow gloves if you need either. Bring a scarf or two for cold climates (they can be an extra layer of protection over a mask). If you wear jewelry, choose up to 10 items you really want and put them in a bag or a small portable jewelry box.

You only need 4 pairs of shoes maximum - one pair of sneakers/gym shoes that you could easily walk two miles in. One pair of of easy slip-on slip-off shoes for going to get mail or do laundry (because you don’t want to walk the dorms barefoot these days) and bonus points if they can double as comfortable ‘nice’ shoes such as cheap loafers, TOMS, basic flats, etc. One flip flops or sandals if you’ll be using communal showers and bathrooms. And one pair of boots that can double as rainboots AND snowboots (duckboots are great for this!) You don’t need heels, wedges, or multiple pairs/styles of shoes for the same reason you don’t need multiple dresses or a full tuxedo - you’re not going anywhere this year! Or at least you shouldn’t! Parties, formals, conferences, etc. are all a terrible idea unless you want COVID-19.

What you should have multiples of are masks and gloves! Have a few reusable face masks you can wash (RedBubble has them in every style, almost every clothing brand sells them, and VogMask/Camridge Mask are great options for something a little more heavy duty). Invest in disposable gloves and one pair of reusable gloves such as dish gloves. Some basic eye protection doesn’t hurt either - i love blue light glasses because they provide some coverage while also being great for reducing eye strain during all your Zoom calls!

SUPPLIES

Keep it basic, and that means you too studyblr kids! You don’t want supplies to take up all your space. Buy a spacious pencil case. Buy a basic back of black Bic pens and put 10-15 in. Those things last forever. Put in 5 presharpened pencils and 5 unsharpened pencils. Bring a pencil sharpener, 1 pink eraser, and 10 eraser toppers. The eraser always runs out before the pencil does. Pack 1-2 glue-sticks, 1 pair of good scissors. Fill the rest of it with your non-essential favorites like mildliners, highlighters, felt tip pens, markers etc. But no more than what can fit in the case. And nothing too expensive, just in case you can’t bring it with you.

Small multi-subject notebooks y’all!! Just get one or two. You never use as many pages as you think you will in your notebooks and multiple full size notebooks are a pain to carry and pack. For my last two years of college i would buy 1 or 2 Five Star 5x7 inch notebooks with 5 subjects for each term. They came with pocket folders inside and i never once used all the pages. i’d often re-use at least one from last term into the next term. It also means you never have to run back for a notebook if you’re at the library and want to do homework for that other class because all your notes for all your classes are right there!!

Bring 2 rolls of scotch tape and 1 roll of masking tape in case you need to repair anything. Pack any essential medication you take, a first aid kit with bandaids, wipes, tweezers, etc. Pack 1 small bottle each of ibuprofen, Tylenol or acetaminophen, any multi-vitamin you prefer, and a vitamin C supplement to help keep your immune system strong.

1 pack of pads/tampons. You can buy more when you get to school, save the space for packing.

1 reusable water bottle. Buy plastic ones periodically/accept reusable free ones given to you at school that you can take if you need to go to the doctor/hospital/etc. so you can throw them away if needed afterwards. 1 mug, if you use one. Make it one you’re willing to leave behind if you must.

1 small set of non-breakable plates/bowls and utensils. i like the Ikea KALAS ones because they’re plastic but can be microwaved or put in the dishwasher. And it’s $2 for a set of 6. 1 small set of tupperware - again IKEA has some good cheap options - that is also microwave safe. You’ll want these solely in the event it’s unsafe to eat in the dining halls. This will let you bring food back to your room and eat, save leftovers from the dining hall or takeout orders, etc. Buy a small bottle of dish soap when you get to school to be able to wash your dishes.

If you use liquid detergent, wait to buy until you’re at school. It takes up more space. If you use detergent pods, choose your own adventure. Buy your shampoo and conditioner at school if you can, same with soap. Same thing with toilet paper, paper towels, and so on. Buy it there, be prepared to leave it behind. Do bring hand sanitizer with you though. Keep a small size in your personal item for your travels and always keep some in your bag at school.

2 disposable toothbrushes, 1-2 tubes toothpaste, 2 toothbrush travel cases. Store the toothbrush you’re using in a travel case while at school to try to prevent contamination. If you become sick, throw your toothbrush away once you’re feeling better and thoroughly wash your travel case. Buy new disposable toothbrushes as needed once at school.

A small wallet or zip ID case with a lanyard. Make sure you can fit your state ID/driver’s license, student ID, transit card, insurance card, credit/debit card, and a little cash in it with ease. One with a clear window is great because you can put your student ID in it to easily show it when required without needing to open your wallet up. A lanyard makes it harder to lose and lets you put your keys on it if you have a physical dorm key.

Your phone charger, with a wall plug. And a mobile charger of some kind (many schools give them away at some point during your first few weeks, orientation, etc. TAKE THEM). You don’t need an Apple branded one, you can find sturdy and cheap ones at Target, etc. You’ll want these in case you get stranded anywhere. And you’ll especially want these because if you need to go to the ER/doctor, you never want to let your phone die while you’re there.

1 cheap tote bag or small backpack or knapsack, etc. that you’re not too attached to. This will be your hospital go-bag. Keep a mini-notebook with your name/birthdate, emergency contact information, relevant medical information, etc. written in it in the event you cannot communicate this yourself. Keep one packed and ready. Other helpful things to have in this bag once you’re at school are a pair of shorts, a t-shirt and underwear; a granola bar, and a disposable water bottle.

1 pair of cheap but reliable headphones, ideally with a microphone. In-ear headphones take up less space than over-ear headphones. These will be great if you’re on a Zoom call or something and don’t want to be heard by your neighbors. Also great for listening to music or podcasts in the event you’re at the doctor/hospital, because just like you never want to forget a phone charger, you never want to be without something to listen to while you wait for a few hours.

DORM STUFF

Now is NOT the time to decorate your dorm. i’m sorry, i love a good Pinterest dorm board and DIY project as much as anyone else. My dorm had a whole aesthetic. It was great. But it was a nightmare to pack up when COVID hit.

All you really need is a duvet/comforter, 1 set of sheets (ideally dark color so they won’t stain, just make sure you wash them regularly), and 1 pillow.

If you want stuff on your walls, don’t bring anything. When you get to school, you’ll likely get some free swag like a college pennant you can put up. Or at the least you’ll get a bunch of papers and maps and things. Hang up the maps. Make them look cool. Draw or do calligraphy on the blank sides of the papers for DIY art and signs. Order a wall calendar with fun art or images on it. Go to Walgreen’s website and use their photo system to order a bunch of photo prints. They almost always have a discount offer happening which makes it super cheap. You can upload photos of your friends and family to surround yourself with nice memories, or upload pictures of art, landscapes, quotes, images you found on Pinterest, your celebrity crush, and literally anything else. Voila, wall decorations.

The key here is to never put up too many things. Everything you put up should be able to be taken down in 15 minutes or less and without any help.

If you really really want some decoration - buy a cheap thing of string lights from Target or something to put up. They add ambiance without much effort and don’t take up too much space. If your room is freezing with concrete floors, a small rug can help if you really think you need one. But - and you already know what i’m gonna say - BUY THEM THERE AND BE READY TO LEAVE THEM BEHIND.

No chairs. No hammocks. No lamps. No furniture. No bulletin boards. No extra bookshelves. Keep it as simple as possible.

The caveat is to bring one small grounding item from home. Maybe it’s a souvenir from a vacation you took. A mug your mom got you. A framed photo of your best friends. Choose one, and make sure it is small.

BOOKS, ETC.

Buy your class books once you get there, either from the campus bookstore, a local bookstore, ThriftBooks, Amazon (if you really must), etc. Or download them online ;) Either way, they’ll take up space while going to school so just get them later unless you have to do reading in advance.

As a book lover it pains me to say this but leave your books at home. Bring at most 4 books with you to school. i’d recommend at least one you haven’t read yet and at least one that’s a “comfort” book you like to reread. Books are one of the hardest things to move and you won’t have that much free time anyways.

Pick one hobby to pack for, and keep it basic. If you like drawing, make it 1 small sketchbook and a mini-pack of colored pencils, markers, watercolors, or crayons. If it’s photography, make it 1 single camera with 1 lens. If you like gaming, bring something small like a Switch lite. If you need a hobby to keep you busy inside, grab yourself a pair of wooden/bamboo knitting needles or a crochet hook, 1 ball of yarn, and go wild. The bottom line is only what you absolutely have to have to not lose your mind.

Have 1 large (32 GB or more) flash drive or SD card to back up your files from your laptop or tablet onto. This will be a huge help in the event something happens to your computer.

Finally, always have a plan with friends/family in the event you need to evacuate. How will you decide if you need to leave? How will you get home/to a safe place? Who will help you get there? How will you afford it? And so on.

Feel free to add anything tips that might be useful!

[borathae]

↳ Index [#12 Silent Night]

Pairing: OT7 x Reader 

Genre: Fluff 

Wordcount: 7.2k 

a/n: Wow it really did come to an end now. I never thought that Christmas would come so fast. Honestly this was one of the best Christmas times I have ever had in a long time! Thank you guys for reading it and sending me so many sweet messages! I love you! Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays! 🎄❤ 

You wake up earlier than you had in the last few days. You roll onto your side, gently touching Hoseoks sleeping face making him smile in his sleep. You sit up, stretching your arms over your head and yawning silently. You let your feet fall out of your bed, soon feeling the soft rug between your toes. You smile, today is going to be a great day! You get up and tiptoe to the variety of bags which hold your many presents to carry them out of the room and into the library.

The house is silent when you open the bedroom door, everyone must still be asleep. You tiptoe to the library, holding your breath the whole time. Once you are finally in the safety of the room you take a deep breath.

“That was some next level agent shit right now”, you whisper to yourself, feeling much cooler than what was necessary in this situation. You sit down on the floor to pull out each of your presents and lay them onto the floor right in front of you. You reach behind you to grab for the wrapping paper before remembering that you had left it in the living you. You groan rubbing your temples.

“Now I can go down”, you sigh, rising to your feet to start your mission. You slowly open the door, glancing around the second floor first before you decide that it is safe for you to leave. You rush down the hallway and the stairs and only stop when you reach the bags filled with wrapping paper. You grab the prettiest-looking paper before sprinting up the stairs and back into the library again.

You fall down on the floor, sighing contently now that you can finally start with wrapping your presents. You normally hate wrapping presents you always manage to make the edges look patchy. But today luck was with you and you manage to wrap your present just how one would find them in a storybook. You grin down at your finished presents feeling proud, your heart beating excitedly in your chest.

“Oh shit, hey Y/N”, Taehyungs voice makes your head snap into the direction of the door. He is standing in the aisle with three big paper bags hidden behind his back and a roll of wrapping paper in his hand. “I didn’t think that someone would already be awake”, he stutters, his cheeks turning red from being caught.

“I can leave if you want. I’m already finished with wrapping my presents”, you tell him, stuffing the finished presents back into your bags before jumping to your feet.

“Thank you sweetheart”, he smiles walking to you trying his hardest not to flash the bags he was holding. “Can you by the way not look back when you leave? It would ruin the surprise”, he asks to which you nod.

“Of course handsome don’t worry. Have fun, if you want you can join me in the kitchen later”, you say before kissing him goodbye and storming out of the library.

The living room is still empty when you reach it, but you notice that two rolls of wrapping paper were missing. So someone else must already be awake. You lay the presents underneath the tree, smiling happily at the finished picture in front of you. Now Christmas is actually here!

Your stomach suddenly rumbles, reminding you that you in fact still needed to eat something. You decide to get breakfast ready, the guys will probably wake up very soon and you want to surprise them. Why not, it’s Christmas after all. You decide to go with some scrambled eggs and toast, just something you know that everyone would like and wouldn’t be too stressful to make. You get the eggs from the fridge before looking around the kitchen for the glass bowl which you saw Seokjin use a few days ago. You are able to find it in the cupboard underneath the oven and then you are good to go. You throw six eggs into the bowl before seasoning it with some salt and a dash of milk, a tip that Yoongis mum once told would make the eggs especially tasty. You heat the oil in a pan, swinging your hips to the sudden music in the living room. Wait! Music? You turn around, Jungkook is grinning at you with his Bluetooth speaker in his hands, which was playing some upbeat Christmas song at the moment.

“Good morning pumpkin”, he smiles, putting the speaker down on the coffee table before walking to you. He presses a kiss to your cheek ending it with a loud smack of his lips. “Did you sleep well?” he asks wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I did and you?” you giggle running your fingertips over the skin of his arms.

“I did eventhough I couldn’t fall asleep until 4, I was so excited because of today”, he tells you whilst peppering your cheek with kisses. You giggle, his breath is tickling you ever so lightly and soon your eyes fall closed, your whole body melting into his touch.

“Guys I think something is burning”, Taehyung says. He had come into the kitchen to put the finished presents underneath the tree and help you cooking when he saw the pan in front of you steam.

“Oh no the oil” you yell, ribbing yourself out of Jungkooks grasp to remove the hot oil from the stove. “Great, now I need to let it cool down a bit. Thanks Tae for warning me”, you say sending Taehyung a sweet smile.

“Don’t mention it sweetheart”, he grins, pouring water into the water cooker to make some tea.

“How can we help you pumpkin?” Jungkook asks already getting some cutlery and plates for the table.

“Someone could make some toast and coffee also someone needs to set the table”, you tell them and they instantly spring into action.

“I’ll go make the food and coffee”, Taehyung says already getting the toast from the cupboard.

“Then I will set the table”, Jungkook announces before storming to the dining table with staked plates in his hands.

Soon the others join one by one, all of them packed to the brim with the freshly wrapped presents ready to be put under the Christmas tree. You decide to meet up in the living room once you have eaten and washed yourself to finally decorate the tree and get the food ready for tonight. So after an hour you are back in the living room, all of you wearing your most beautiful clothes. You had decided to go for the black dress and had paired it with some red stockings, which you had once bought for one of your many role plays. You had put on some red lipstick on your lips and kept the other make-up very simple. Your boyfriend had chosen to go with some jeans and colorful sweaters, safe for Taehyung who went for suit pants and a red dress shirt.

“Just for your information I will not be cooking today unless you want it to taste like shit”, Taehyung says already walking to the tree with Namjoon following close by.

“I totally agree with you Tae”, Seokjin chuckles.

“Then I want to help Taehyung too”, you say, grabbing the closest hand to you and dragging the person to the tree with you.

“I assume that I am helping too”, Yoongi chuckles intertwining his fingers with yours the moment you had touched him.

“Fine then I want to help hyung”, Jimin says to which both Hoseok and Jungkook agree with a nod of their heads.

“Wooow sweetheart the decoration is beautiful”, Taehyung gasps pulling out some ball ornaments from one of the many bags scattered all over the floor. He musters it for a second before turning to tree and hanging it onto one of the branches.

“Did we do a good job at choosing the ornaments?” you ask, taking three ball ornaments into your hands and distributing them all over the tree.

“You really did princess, but I didn’t expect anything different from you. You have amazing taste after all I mean look at your boyfriends”, Yoongi says sending you a wink.

“Jeeeeeez never say that again”, you groan rolling your eyes.

“I’m proud of you Yoongi!” Seokjin calls from the kitchen, finger gunning at the younger man.

“You both are a disgrace to this family”, Namjoon groans dramatically, cracking all of you up.

Soon you turn silent all of you immersed in your work. The tree turns out even more beautiful than you had expected it to. The ornaments go perfectly with each other, the colorful snowmen or Santas added color to the otherwise red ornaments. You even managed to not break one single ornament, all of you feeling rather proud about it. But soon another problem appears. Hanging the fairy lights and star on top of the tree!

“I don’t think we have a latter here”, Taehyung says after having returned from the cellar to look for one.

“And how are we supposed to get the star and the fairy lights on top of the tree then?” you ask feeling sad already. Now the tree will never look perfect.

“I have an idea!” Namjoon suddenly yells. He had watched you struggle for a few moments before he had finally thought of the perfect solution. You watch him run to you before kneeling down in front of you.

“What are you doing?” you ask confused.

“Get on my shoulders” he explains looking up at you.

“You are a genius Joonie” you grin before sitting comfortably on his shoulders. He raises to his feet, not once complaining about you being too heavy before taking the few steps to the tree.

“Here princess”, Yoongi says handing you the beginning of the fairy lights. You thank him before starting to wrap them around the top of the tree until Yoongi is finally able to grab them and continue your work.

“Are you still okay Namjoon?” you ask, patting the crown of his head.

“Of course”, he says eventhough his voice starts to sound a bit strained. “Just tell me where to go next”, he adds before jumping a bit so you would sit better on his shoulders again after having slipped down a bit.

“To the front of the tree again and Taehyung can you hand me the star right in front of you?” you tell him pointing at the golden star on the coffee table. Taehyung rushes to the table and hands you the star as quick as possible. You thank him before stretching out your arms as far as possible

“Just few more millimeters Joonie”, you grunt trying your hardest to reach the upper most branch.

“I’m already literally standing inside of the tree”, he tells you with closed eyes so the branches wouldn’t stick into his eyes.

“Wait guys I can help!” Jungkook suddenly says. Soon you feel yourself getting lifted up even higher making you squeal. The grip around your legs tightens and you look down to see what is going on. Jungkook had wrapped his arms around Namjoons waist before hoisting both him and you up. His tongue was sticking out of his mouth, his face contorted in concentration.

“Holy shit”, you pant feeling scared for your life all of a sudden. You look up before reaching out to grab the branch. “Oh my god I got!” you announce your finger finally touching the tree. You stick the star onto the branch before telling Jungkook that he can let you down again.

“Thank god”, he groans letting Namjoon fall back onto his feet again, “You guys are heavy”, he whines massaging his aching arms.

“It wasn’t my idea Kook”, Namjoon scoffs, slowly kneeling down so you can crawl off his shoulders.

“I really appreciate it babyboy thank you” you smile, before pressing a kiss Jungkooks cheek. He grins, feeling proud now that you had praised him.

“Wooooow guuuys the tree is beautiful”, Hoseok says marveling the finished tree with a big smile.

“Let’s turn the lights on now”, Jimin says, stopping his work for a moment to go into the living room.

“Wait for me I want to see it too”, Seokjin says whilst limping next to you.

Yoongi kneels down next to the socket with the plug in his hands. He looks at you, “Are you ready?” he asks making all of you nod. He plugs it into the socket and the tree instantly lights up.

“Wooooooow”, all of you gasp looking at the tree with happy eyes.

“That’s more beautiful than I had imagined it to be”, Taehyung smiles clapping his hands excitedly.

“It really is”, you agree smiling fondly.

“Can we leave it plugged in the whole time now? It looks so beautiful”, Yoongi asks the rest of you, starring at the tree in awe.

“Of course we will keep it plugged in. We would be stupid if we didn’t”, Seokjin says already walking back to the kitchen to finish his cooking, “by the way guys now that you are finished, you can finally help us cook”, he adds already kneading through the filling for the turkey again.

“Sure tell us what to do”, Namjoon says pulling up the sleeves of his dark blue sweater.

“Someone can set the table for later and I think that Hoseok needs some help with the potatoes”, he tells you.

“I’ll go set the table, because yeah well, you already know why I won’t be cooking today”, Taehyung says rummaging through the cutlery drawer.

“Then I will help Tae”, Namjoon says before getting the plates from the cupboard.

“Hobi, how can I help you?” you ask now that having to cook stuck to you.

“Can you peel them?” he asks pointing at the big pile of unpeeled potatoes. You nod before finally getting to work.

“Then I will make the eggnog”, Yoongi announces already looking for a recipe on his phone. Once he has found the perfect one he gets to work, whisking the eggs and pouring the brandy in a big pot to make it boil.

“I am already soo hungry”, Hoseok whines once the turkey starts to smell delicious in the oven. He rubs his rumbling stomach pouting hard.

“Me too bro”, Namjoon groans letting his head fall back onto the headrest of the couch.

“We just need to wait fifteen more minutes and then we can finally eat”, Seokjin says, watching the turkey roast in the oven.

“How about we bypass the time by drinking some eggnog?” you suggest, not waiting for an answer and already pouring each of them a glass. You place them on a big tray before carrying it into the living room. They each grab one glass, humming contently whilst taking the first sip.

“That tastes amazing hyung”, Jungkook gasps with big eyes.

“Thanks”, Yoongi mumbles, smiling shyly.

“By the way I nearly forgot!” Jimin suddenly screams up, he jumps to his feet running to the last unopened bag in the living room. He pulls out the matching sweaters and headbands, distributing them between you, “We got matching sweaters so we will look cute on pictures”, he grins, undressing himself before pulling the new sweater over his head and putting the reindeer antlers on his head.

“Do we really?” Yoongi groans eyeing the Santa hat which had been placed into his lap.

“Yes we do hyung, now go on and change”, Jimin insists sending him a warning glare.

“Fine”, Yoongi groans before changing into the sweater, “okay fair enough we actually look cute”, he confesses once all of you are wearing your sweaters and headbands.

“See I told you”, Jimins grins pulling out his phone, “sooooo now that we are at it, can we take the picture for my Instagram now?” he asks with a cute voice.

“Of course”, Taehyung tells him whilst pulling Jungkook and Seokjin closer to him.

“Great! Okay now everybody look here and smile”, Jimin orders you holding the camera up so everyone would be on the picture. After the twelfth picture he is finally happy with the result now smiling into his phone whilst putting some filter on the picture

“It’s going to look so cute on my page”, he grins already writing the caption, “Is that a good caption Being able to spend Christmas with you is a present in itself and then I would add three hearts and a tree” he asks looking at you for approval.

“Sure sounds cute”, Hoseok says shrugging his shoulders.

“Okay then I will post it now”, Jimin says grinning excitedly before pressing post. “Someone already liked it!” he announces, his smile growing, “It’s Hayley, damn she is fast okay wait now she posted a comment The cutest bunch I have ever seen. Miss you guys xx. Awww she is cute”, Jimin mumbles refreshing his page over and over again to see who liked the picture next.

“Are you finished with talking to yourself now Jimin or do you want to continue? Because we would really like to start eating now”, Jungkook asks making Jimin look up from his phone.

“Sorry guys I’m coming”, Jimin apologizes, throwing his phone onto the sofa before joining the rest of you at the dining table.

The food tastes delicious, the turkey was perfectly cooked and Seokjin did a great job at making the stuffing. The potatoes which you and Hoseok made, had the perfect consistency, crispy on the outside and soft on the inside and the sauce Jimin had made really was the cherry on top. You had stopped counting at the third plate and soon all of you feel too full to move.

“This was the most delicious meal I have ever had”, you say happily whilst rubbing your stuffed stomach.

“It really was, eventhough I feel stuffed I think I need to go for a quick after-dinner walk. Anyone wants to join?”, Namjoon says looking at you.

“Bro the only after-dinner walk I will go on is the walk from here to there”, Seokjin says pointing at the couch.

“I have a better idea. I have this tradition with my parents where we write our wishes on a piece of paper and then read them aloud before throwing them into a fire. Do you maybe want to do that? The fresh air surely will help us digest a bit” you suggest.

“That sounds cute. I really want to do that”, Hoseok says already feeling excited to which everyone agrees.

“Sure fresh air never hurt nobody”, Yoongi agrees nodding slowly.

“Yaay I’m so excited!” you squeal before running off the grab some pen and paper and your coat.

Soon everyone has written down their wishes and once you had gone outside and Seokjin had managed to get a fire going your little tradition can begin.

“So who is going to start?“ you ask playing nervously with the paper in your hands.

“I want to start first", Jungkook says, waving his piece of paper in his hands grinning widely. He looks at you waiting for your complaints, but they never came. He nods contently, clearing his throat. “I wish that we can all stay healthy and happy and that we can achieve everything that we couldn't achieve in 2018”, he reads with his eyes fixated on the paper. Suddenly his eyes snap up, “and I wish for us to stay together”, he adds smiling at the rest of you. He crumples his paper before throwing it into the fire.

“Me next please!” Jimin says waving his hand excitedly making the rest of you laugh.

“Go ahead Jiminie no one's stopping you", Hoseok snorts making Jimin smile happily.

“Okay so I wish for us to stay healthy. Then I wish to finally get my divers license and buy that car I always wanted. And that I am able to release some of my own songs, I would really love that", he says, smiling sadly once he is finished, “I hope that people will like them”, he adds so quietly that you wouldn't have been able to hear him if it wasn't for the silence of the night.

“Hey don't worry Jiminie. People will love your music and your voice. You are so talented don't worry", Yoongi assures him patting his thigh. Jimin smiles finally crumpling his paper and throwing it into the fire.

“Thank you hyung", he grins, pulling his scarf over his blushing cheeks.

“I want go next!” Seokjin says once the last piece of Jimins paper has burned. You nod, allowing him to speak. “Alright, I wish that we stay healthy, that we can go on this holiday to Y/Ns hometown we have been speaking of since 2017 and that we can keep this happiness I had felt the last few days", he says before throwing his paper into the fire.

“I really would like to see my parents again", you mumble, realizing how much you miss them. A big hand comes resting on your thigh pressing it gently.

“You will see them very soon again. I promise", Seokjin assures you smiling sweetly at you. You smile back at him, intertwining your fingers with his.

“Thanks Jinnie", you smile, your heart feeling lighter again.

“Can I go next? Before we all become sad now", Hoseok says trying his hardest to cheer you up. You look at him; he was looking at you with worry in his eyes.

“Sure sunshine go ahead", you tell him, nodding.

“Okay, sooo. Just like everyone I wish for us to stay healthy and happy. I wish for BTS to find a path where we can still have some time for ourselves whilst staying successful. And I wish for us to have time for Y/N again. I don't want us to go back to how we where before our holiday", he says, playing with his paper once he is finished. “I'm finished someone can go next", he sighs throwing the paper into the flames.

“I wish that too hyung", Namjoon says looking at you with a sad smile on his face. “I wish for us to stay together for forever, even when BTS is long nothing more than a memory from our youth. I want us to stick together, that we can laugh together and still live under one roof”, he says taking a deep breath. He folds his paper, giving it a kiss before throwing it into the fire.

“Jeez why are all your wishes so sad?” Yoongi says, making the rest of your chuckle. He really knows how to lighten up the mood. “You want to go first Taehyung and Y/N? I know you both probably went full sad mode, it would fit into the mood perfectly. Because then I'll go last, my wishes aren't that depressing”, he says making you laugh even louder.

“Fine then I want to go next”, you say unrolling the paper in your hands. You clear your throat, taking a deep breath before opening your mouth to speak. “I wish for us to stay healthy, yeah I know everyone said that already but it doesn't hurt when I’ll repeat it again. I wish for you guys to achieve everything that you dream of. I wish for Hayley to finally find her true love. And I wish for us to stay as happy as we are right now even when the everyday life starts again", you say looking at each of your boyfriends. You crumple your paper throwing it into the flames.

“Hyung you can go first, mine is rather long", Taehyung says unfolding his paper and showing you his paper. Your eyes grow big in surprise.

“Damn Tae you really did the most", Jimin chuckles.

“Yeah I got carried away", Taehyung mumbles looking at his snow covered shoes.

“Fine then I'll go next”, Yoongi says, clearing his throat and holding his paper in front of his face, “I wish for good health and happiness. I wish for success, maybe even a Grammy. I wish for Holly to live long. And I wish for our relationship to keep growing and blossoming", Yoongi says, nodding his head once he is finished. He rolls his paper before throwing it into the bright flames.

“So now for the grand final Taehyung and his list of thousand wishes", Seokjin announces making you snort.

“Don't make it sound funny hyung", Taehyung pouts looking insecure all of a sudden.

“No I’m sorry, I didn't mean it like that, go ahead”, Seokjin says, sounding slightly panicky.

“Fine. Okay so I know it got kind of long but I hope you still like it”, he clears his throat before continuing, “I wish for Yeontan to start living with us, I really miss him. I wish for BTS to stay successful. I wish for Jin-hyung to keep coming up with jokes and stay just as youthful as he is right now. I wish for Yoongi-hyung to be able to stay inspired and to finally realise that taking breaks is actually good for him. I wish for Hoseok-hyung to finally be able to find the courage to open up to us and that he knows that we will love him even if he is sad. I wish for Namjoon-hyung to always find time for his walks and that his worries will fade. I wish for Jiminie to keep laughing and that his insecurities about his talents stop. I wish Jungkookie to realise that sometimes taking a rest and letting your body heal is a good thing and that he can finally achieve his dream of his own mixtape. I wish for Y/N to keep laughing everyday and that she stays just as perfect as she us right now. And for me, well I just wish to never be alone”, he says, looking up at you once he has finished his words.

“Wow Tae you really wrote down a wish for everyone?” Hoseok says clutching his heart.

“Yeah, I’m sorry for getting emotional like that", Taehyung says sinking his head to hide the tears threatening to spill.

“Don't apologize that was beautiful”, you assure him, cupping his cold cheek. He looks at you smiling softly.

“Thank you", he mumbles. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes to gain his composure again before throwing his paper into the fire.

“Thank you guys, for saying yes to my idea. It really means a lot to me. Normally I would have always done this with my parents so doing it with you means a lot to me. After all you are my family now", you say making each of them smile fondly at you.

“You are our family too baby", Jimin smiles, blushing hard.

“Now that we are already talking about traditions, why don't we go inside and give each other our presents?” Seokjin suggests pointing at the brightly light living room.

“Sounds like a fun tradition to me", Namjoon grins, getting to his feet.

“Yeah, I’ve been dying to see all your presents ever since we went shopping", Jungkook says, jumping up and clapping excitedly.

“Then let’s go inside”, Yoongi says reaching out his hand for you to take. You grab it, letting yourself get pulled to your feet.

“Come on hyung you can wrap your arm around my shoulder”, Taehyung says, dragging Seokjin to his feet and wrapping an arm around his waist. Seokjin lays his arm around Taehyungs neck, smiling thankfully at the younger man.

“I want to go first”, Hoseok announces before storming off and holding the glass door open for the rest of you.

“Fine with me, but I want to go last”, you say peeling the thick coat off your shoulders and throwing it onto the sofa.

“As you wish princess”, Yoongi chuckles, sitting down at the big fur rug with his legs crossed.

Soon the rest of you follow, sitting down one by one. You decide to stand up and get the presents one by one.

Hoseok had managed to find accessories perfectly fitted for everyone. He had gotten Namjoon a silver whistle, making him jump up excitedly once he sees it glistening in the light. For Yoongi and Jimin he had bought something from Chanel, both of then thanking him with a bright smile. For Taehyung he had bought a pair of glasses. He had said that Seokjin was the hardest to get presents for, but still he managed to buy a scarf which perfectly fitted to his personality. For Jungkook he had gotten a belt, saying that he needed to invest in some more expensive belts to accentuate his style. And for you he had bought a watch, making your eyes nearly fall out of your eyes once you had read the brand name.

The next one is Namjoon who gets up to get his presents. He had decided to go for books this year, having carried them in his suitcase the whole time. They fitted each of your personalities perfectly, making all of you excited to read them. 

After Namjoon, Seokjin is the one standing up and getting his presents. He had gotten all out on the wrapping paper, wrapping each of the presents at least three times. Despite your initial anger at his waste of paper, your anger soon fades once you all get to see your presents. He had gotten Jimin some new glasses, telling him that he just knew that these were the ones. For Jungkook he had apparently gone into the same store as you, buying him a new lens. For Taehyung he had found some cute clothes for Yeontan making him squeal in excitement. He had gotten Namjoon three books, all of them in English, explaining that it was really hard to find books in a language he would be able to understand. For Yoongi he had bought a ring, saying that it would fit perfectly to his earrings. For Hoseok he had gotten a pair of shoes, which made Hoseok scream out in excitement. “Thank you hyung they are so cool!” and for you he had gotten an album full of photographs. You had thrown it closed as soon as you had opened it, Seokjins naked crotch greeting you.

“Jesus fucking Christ what is that?” you screech looking at him in utter shock.

“You own personal album whenever you miss me", he explains sending you a wink.

“You are unbelievable”, you whine, too proud to admit that you actually quite enjoy his present.

Once Jimin had realised that all the whining wouldn't let him see the photo album he gets up for his presents.

“I know Jin-hyung already got you the same thing I'm sorry", he apologizes once he hands you his presents. Turns out that he had made each of you a photo album filled with polaroids from your adventures together. It was beautiful, with handwritten notes between the pictures and cute little drawings.

“It's beautiful baby thank you so much", you tell him making him smile sweetly at you.

Taehyung is the next to get up and carry his presents to you. He had been able to find a designer clothing shop in town and had bought each of you a piece if their newest collection. Despite your initial whining that he had spent far too much money, you accepted it with a grateful smile on your faces.

The next one was Jungkook. He had been feeling nervous the whole time, mostly because he didn't spend as much money as the others and now he was feeling guilty. You tell him that, no matter how small the present is, it’s the thought that matters the most. In the end they turn out to be perfect presents from rings for Jimin to a sweater for Namjoon and a beret for Taehyung over to a new beanie for Yoongi, a gamer mouse for Seokjin and an oversized t-shirt for Hoseok. He had handed you a USB flash drive, smiling shyly at you.

“Wow omg Kookie I always wanted a new USB flash drive, I lost my old one thank you", you exclaim, smiling happily.

“The thing that's on there is your present, but you can keep  the flash drive too", Jungkook tells you, making you curious all of a sudden.

“What is it?” you ask turning the flash drive in front of your face in hopes to get some hints.

“It's a surprise. You need to look at later", he tells you making you pout.

“Fine”, you whine, putting the flash drive down next to your other presents.

Soon Yoongi gets up to go to the big tree. He crouches down, pulling out his presents before walking back to the rug. He kneels down, handing each of you a thin packet.

“I hope you like it", he mumbles starring at each of your faces for a reaction. Your faces light up once you see the content of his present. He had made each of you, your own personal mixtapes with songs he had written for you and some of your favorite songs thrown in between. He had finished it off with a picture of him holding a big paper heart in front of his chest as the cover. You thank him, smiling brightly at the perfectly arranged mixtape.

“Now it's my turn", you say excitedly once you realise that everyone except you had gotten up already.  “Don't expect great things though, you know I'm broke”, you say running to the Christmas tree. You carry them to the rug kneeling down slowly in an attempt not to drop everything.

“Baby don't worry, we will love everything you get us", Jimin assures you, helping you hand out the beautifully wrapped presents.

“So okay I don't have a specific order, you guys can decide who goes first", you tell them scratching the back of your neck.

“I'm the oldest I want to go first”, Seokjin says already opening the bow. He rips the paper from the present gasping once he sees the game lying in his hands. “Wow oh my god little one you got me Mario Party? I can finally play it thank you so much!” he yells, grinning so much his cheeks turn all puffy.

“It's my turn now", Hoseok announces now that he had seen the present which you had gotten for Seokjin. He pulls the wrapping paper off in one go. “Angel how did you know that I ran out of it?” he asks, looking at you in pure disbelieve.

“You weren't smelling like yourself lately”, you giggle watching him unpack the perfume and spray it onto his wrists and neck. He inhales the scent, smiling fondly.

“You really smell good now hyung. I'll go next", Jungkook says already taking his own present into his hands. “No you didn’t”, he gasps once he sees the tripod, he looks at you with big eyed utterly shocked about your present, “how did you know that I’ve been dreaming of this?” he asks, carefully opening the packet.

“You have been talking about it nonstop”, you tell him, smiling proudly once you see his happy face.

“Can I go next please?” Yoongi asks turning his present around to gently open the wrapping paper. He turns the now opened present around, squealing loudly once he sees the noise cancelling headphones.

“You always complaint about not being able to properly listen to music because of all the noise around you", you say watching his smile grow wider and wider.

“Thank you princess this is the best present ever", he laughs, already pulling the headphones out of their packaging.

“You can go next Jiminie, you've been eyeing your present ever since the beginning", Taehyung says, concealing his own need to open his present as good as possible.

Jimin rips his present open after that, letting his jaw drop once he sees the camera in front of him. “It's-", he begins before having to swallow his tears down. “Thank you so much! This is my dream camera thank you baby!” he screams throwing his arms around your neck to pull you into a tight hug. You giggle wrapping your own arms around his figure enjoying his loving touch.

“You are welcome baby", you laugh. He presses a kiss to your cheek, smiling sweetly at you.

“It's my turn now", Taehyung announces once he isn't able to wait any longer. He is slow, unpacking his present with so much care that the rest of you soon tell him to hurry up. “Wooooow sweetheart, this is so beautiful", he gasps holding the leather camera bag in his hands.

“I got it from an antiques shops, the owner told me that this bag once belonged to a very famous photographer, who had to sell it to afford his train ticket to go visit his family", you tell him seeing his eyes light up at the story.

“That's so sad and cool at the same time, thank you sweetheart I can finally carry my camera around”, he smiles pressing it against his chest.

“Now for the last present of tonight", Namjoon says taking his present into his hands and quickly unwrapping it. His eyes cloud over with happiness once he sees the book and beautiful looking pen. He opens it, reading the small message you have written on the first page “For when you need to empty your mind so your ideas can flow again.”

“Wow thank you my love. I always wanted to get a diary, this is so beautiful”, he smiles, stroking over the empty pages.

“I'm glad that you liked my presents”, you say smiling shyly at your folded hands.

“They are amazing, all of your presents are", Hoseok says, taking the hands of Seokjin and Yoongi into his.

“Do you guys want some eggnog now? Just so we could celebrate finishing our tradition”, you ask, already getting to your feet to walk into the kitchen.

“Actually princess there is still one more present”, Yoongi says making you stop in your way and turning around.

“Did I forget to hand you one of my presents?” you ask feeling nervous all of a sudden. You let your eyes wander over their laps to see if someone didn’t get their present.

“No we have got something for you”, Jungkook says, grinning from ear to ear.

“For me?” you ask, suddenly curious and you plonk down on the fur rug again now looking at them with big eyes.

“Yeah wait let me get it real quick”, Taehyung says before jumping to his feet and running to the tree. He kneels down, stretching his arm underneath the lowest branches of the tree to fish something from its hiding spot. “Got it”, he exclaims before pulling out something bright red. He returns to you hiding the small thing in his big hands. He already reaches out to hand it to you before Hoseoks strong arm stops him.

“Can I say something before you hand it to her?” he asks looking between the other guys. They nod signaling him to talk with a wave of their hands.

“Okay so, Y/N I just want to thank you for agreeing on going on the holiday with us. You didn’t have to and you still did and I’m just so grateful for this given opportunity to make everything between us good again. I’m so happy that we actually managed to stop on our paths to run back to each other. I just love you so much”, he says making your cheek turn crimson red.

“I love you too Hoseok”, you say smiling sweetly at him.

“Wait now I want to say something too”, Namjoon announces waving his arms above his head.

“Sure go ahead hyung”, Taehyung encourages him, whilst hiding your present behind his back.

“My dear Y/N thank you for opening my eyes again, I was blind for the last few months. I didn’t want to see love or happiness, all I wanted to see was success. And I will probably never forgive myself for that. But you managed to show me how beautiful love is and how happiness actually looks like and I’m actually happy again. I can’t stop smiling the whole day and just really, really love you. All of you”, he says, smiling with so much love in his heart he is sure he will explode one day.

“I love you too Joonie and you make me happy too. I’m sorry I know I repeat myself all over again but I just don’t know what to say right now you are too much for me to comprehend right now”, you say making the others laugh.

“Don’t apologize little one, this is about you right now you don’t need to say anything”, Seokjin reassures you with a fond smile on his face.

“Can I give her the present now?” Taehyung asks playing with it behind his back. 

“Sure go ahead Tae”, Jungkook says already pulling out his camera to film to whole scene. You look at the young man for a second you heartbeat quickening even more in your chest.

“This is our promise to you Y/N, that we will forever be by your side no matter what happens”, Taehyung says before finally handing you your present. You stare at it for a moment, taking in the bright red satin box. You trail your fingers over the soft material, feeling too nervous to actually open it.

“Go on open it”, Yoongi urges you on, watching you with nervous eyes.

You take a deep breath before finally opening the little box. Your eyes grow big and you are sure that your heart had stopped beating for a good second. A beautiful rose gold ring was lying in the box, the big diamond in the middle of the ring shimmering in the lights.

“Is that?” you begin before you have to stop to swallow the sudden lump in your throat.  

“We know that it’s legally not really possible as of now, but we thought that maybe we can still ask you and just keep it between us until one day it can be possible for us to make it official”, Jimin says nervously biting his lip.

You look at them, feeling lost for words, your lips quivering from the sobs threatening to spill.

“We got a ring too, so everybody knows that we belong together”, Seokjin says showing you the ring on his finger, “So what do you say?” he asks.

“I just-“, you start before sobs take over your voice and you can do nothing more than to nod your head vigorously. “Yes, yes, yes”, you sob throwing yourself onto the closest person.

“We love you so much”, Jimin says before breaking out into sobs as well hugging you close to his body.

“We will always love you Y/N”, Jungkook smiles with tears in his eyes joining the hug and soon the others follow too, holding each other and crying from happiness.

Soon the crying stops, turning into laughter and kisses filled with love. The presents are long forgotten, all there was left was the unbreakable love for each other.

“Let’s take a picture together so we will never forget this moment!” Taehyung says holding up his camera with pure happiness glowing all around him. He puts it onto the coffee table, clicking a few buttons before telling you were to sit. He presses a button and a red light begins blinking. He rushes back to you, kneeling next to Jungkook.

“Now everybody say cheeeeeese”, you tell them, grinning from ear to ear.

[worseandworser]

Rosaceae

Here it goes, my submission to @fmasecretsanta2018 ! Happy holidays to @humanedspresso !! 

Ship: RoyEd

Summary: And to worsen his current situation, Mustang was at the unfortunately-visible-from-the-large-glass-window cashier, spying on Ed with mischievous eyes. A smug smile curled his lips as he noticed the blonde's stern look and Edward groaned in frustration.

Roy winked.

Ed went back inside.

Rating: Teen and Up 

Warnings/tags: florist!Ed/tattoo artist!Roy, nothing but fluff and Al is full of this bullshit

read on ao3

Blue Carnation & Co. was located at a very nice street: short buildings, tall trees and a good amount of passerby. Due to quality and variety, it had managed to gather a considerable amount of clientele; form children to elders, lovers to bachelors… Its popularity steadily grew just like the flowers its owners nourished. It was Trisha Elric’s dream for the entire duration of her short yet loving life, and her sons had dedicated themselves to make it come true.

After selling a marigold bouquet to a lonely woman, Edward went to the outside showcase to check the store's newest arrival. The petit bush of winter daphnes had been strategically placed at the store's entrance so the strong, sweet smell would invite possible costumers in. And it was beautiful! Who wouldn't want to walk by beautiful flowers?

Taking his time fixing it, Edward got rid of the dry leaves and untangled those growing awkwardly. As he threaded his gloved fingers through the stems, a tiny piece of paper fell on the plant's soil. His first, almost instinctive reaction was to sigh in deep annoyance.

The second was to glare at the store across the street.

The only problem Edward could find on owning this specific flower shop was there. A small but nonetheless annoying tattoo studio called Molten Gold Ink. It served as a hideaway to the world's biggest bastard, Roy Mustang. Each working day, Ed found himself being the jerk's one and only target, and repeatedly kicking him out. Mustang had the bad — and possibly dangerous — habit of embarrassing Edward in front of his little brother. Every morning, the man took a detour to leave small notes hidden around in the flowers for Ed to find, which always brought a mild blushing crisis. If Alphonse had any negative thoughts about it, he had certainly never voiced them.

And to worsen his current situation, Mustang was at the unfortunately-visible-from-the-large-glass-window cashier, spying on Ed with mischievous eyes. A smug smile curled his lips as he noticed the blonde's stern look and Edward groaned in frustration.

Roy winked.

Ed went back inside.

“Hello?”

Edward's head snapped up from the notepad and he studied the man trying to get his attention. Sandy-blond hair styled in a mess and very blue eyes that curiously matched the button-down shirt. He cautiously placed a vase of daisies over the counter, smiling warily.

“Good morning,” greeted awkwardly, “I was here earlier and I bought these flowers, but… well, I’m wondering if I could change them for something else?”

Deeming the specimen in a good state, Ed shrugged.

“Sure, why not? What do you have in mind?”

“Red tulips, maybe?”

“We have that, but they are a bit more expensive.”

“It’s no problem! It’s for someone special, you see…”

Intense, then. Edward suppressed a smile and nodded, quick to make his way through the store. He came back to the cashier with a vase slightly larger than the one the client had brought, containing three blooming blood-red tulips; their petals shone with health and the leaves gracefully embraced their stem in a vibrant green.

“Here,” said Ed, as he left the flowers next to daisies, “If you’d like, I can make them into a bouquet.”

The man beamed. “Nah, this is fine, they live more like this, uh?”

“Good point.”

Ed was just finishing the packing — tying a nice ribbon around the vase's edge, putting it inside of a proper bag — when his sight caught a small paper roll that surely was not supposed to be stuck in the soil. Instantly, Edward felt the ground underneath him crumble; he stared at the innocent costumer, and then back to the paper.

He pulled it out and shoved it inside his pocket. And if he pushed the bag a little too roughly into the other’s waiting hands, nobody could judge, right?

“Here! It’s more 150 cenz!”

The man shot him a puzzled look but reached for his wallet anyway, pulling out a few coins and handling them to the blond vender. Edward smiled awkwardly.

“I hope your date goes well, Mr…?”

“Havoc, Jean Havoc,” he beamed, offering his hand and Edward took it gladly, “Thank you very much!”

The moment he was outside, Edward scrambled to unfurl the note. Bubbles filled his belly and the rapid increase of heart rate should be worrisome. Except that in the end it really wasn’t.

My heart aches for you whenever we are apart.

“Oh, that’s sweet!”

The blond yelped, turning to scold the imposing threat behind him.

“Dammit, Al! You scared me, you brat!”

Alphonse laughed as Ed clutched the note against his chest, keeping it from view.

“Why are so defensive? It’s not like I haven’t read one of those before.”

“You shouldn’t, though.”

“Considering what I found a few days ago,” Alphonse grimaced in clear disgust, “You’re probably right.”

The older Elric blushed, causing another fit of giggles from his brother.

“Oh, god, Al, please tell me it wasn’t— it was, right?” groaned, “God, if he doesn’t stop already…”

"Don't be mad at Roy, Brother," patting Edward on the back, Al offered him a sympathetic smile, "I mean, at least it means he's into you!"

“What the fuck, Al?”

“And he’s such a good—”

“Shut up!”

"And you totally like it!"

“I said shut up!”

Lilies, roses, carnations, gerberas, orchids, chrysanthemums, daisies, peonies, calla lilies, dahlias, sweet peas, alstroemeria, delphinium, anemone, hyacinth...

The door hinges creaked announcing the arrival of a new customer and Ed sighed, closing the notepad and leaving his spot behind the counter. He put on his best you-will-buy smile and waltzed through the rows of colorfulness and alluring scents. Clients always had the worst timing, interrupting Ed when he really shouldn't be interrupted.

And sometimes he wondered… if Trisha would have been more patient. When he and Al were kids, she seemed like the most tolerating human being, smiling and talking with a soft voice that could lull two energetic boys to sleep with a few words. She was a walking flower, and would certainly fit way better with the environment then Edward. Maybe she wouldn't even feel the slightest irritated at the raven-haired man touching the sunflowers.

Well, what a shame Ed was the owner, uh.

“You!” he called out, “Back from where you came, you bastard!”

Roy Mustang turned to him, finally leaving the poor sunflowers alone. The dark eyes glimmered as they settled over the petit blond and he smiled, slow and charming and what a shame Edward had to kick someone like that out.

“Good afternoon to you as well!”

"Quit it, Roy," crossing his arms, Ed shot him an annoyed glare, "I know you're just lazying around."

“It’s lunch hour.”

“Lazying around.”

The man pouted — which was ridiculous, or stupid — feigning hurt.

“I can’t understand, how do you get people to buy anything if you treat your most important client like this…”

Edward rolled his eyes, grabbing Roy by the wrist and tugging him towards the exit, “You’re no client, you’re just a slacker! And I already told you to get the hell out.”

"Not with that specific wording, actually!" Mustang stood firmly by the doorway, refusing to be moved, "By the way, I was a client, on the past tense but since you're being so rude—"

Groaning, the blonde shoved him softly on the chest, “Out, idiot!”

The tattooist raised his arms in surrender and gloomily crossed the street to go back to his studio. Edward, in a completely well-intentioned manner, accompanied the man with his eyes all the way through. To guarantee he would no longer be interrupted and, obviously, it had nothing to do with arses. Of course not.

Good arses around that area? No, not at all.

Roy Mustang always closed the studio at precisely 6 p.m. The opening hours happened to vary — constantly dependant on how comfortable was the bed on each morning — but locking up was sacred and it must never be delayed. Because Blue Carnation & Co. always stayed open a bit longer.

Crossing the street with a bonce on his steps, Roy felt his insides warming up and, by the time he'd reached the door, he was pretty sure they had dissolved entirely. He stood silently by the glass window, mesmerized by the long-haired owner making the last arrangements for the day. Jumping from vase to vase with a concentrated expression, he couldn't be more certain that Edward was the most beautiful man Roy had ever met.

And Roy was the luckiest one because he got to see that every day.

As he entered the store, Edward didn't even raise his head — however, the small twitch on the lips were enough of a sign. Roy walked to him, arms instantly finding their home around strong shoulders.

“Hello,” whispered.

"Hey," one hand came to rest over the tattooist's forearms, "Did you know I almost sold a few roses with a very not worksafe note attached to them?"

Roy chuckled.

“Oh, really? That would have been unfortunate.”

“Roy, I’m serious, you need to stop.”

He kissed a crown of golden hair, “But you like them, don’t you?”

Roy could hear the eye roll that followed.

"If you won't, then at least keep it PG-rated."

Edward detangled himself from the embrace and went to the cashier with Roy trailing right behind him. Another blond head popped up, turning to Roy with a warm smile.

“Good evening, Roy!,” greeted Alphonse, “Is there any chance you’re here to buy some flowers?”

"Some other day perhaps," Edward intertwined his fingers with the tattooist's, who tightened the grip for a brief moment in acknowledgment, "I'm here today just to drag my hardworking husband back home."

Edward looked away and snorted, “Give me food and I’ll go willingly.”

“I’m sure I can manage.”

"Then go!," Alphonse said, a bit too enthusiastically, "I can finish the check-ups and lock everything, don't worry!"

Edward, surely baffled by his brother's behavior, blinked a few times and Roy used that seconds of shock to drag the man away. Staggering to follow, the blond shouted orders at Alphonse that were brushed off with waves and half-mumbled agreements. By the sideway, Roy could not resist any longer: he pulled the florist against his chest, peppering his face with kisses. Laugh bubbled out of Ed's lips and he fisted Roy's shirt in a false attempt to push shove him off.

And Alphonse, who had to watch the whole show, smiled fondly and sighed.

“Disgusting…”

[underthewingsofthblackeagle]

The Murderess from the Grunewald (14): Getting Closer (1)

(”Katze” by rihaij)

Previously

Six months ago -  Some hours after Jamie’s Second Attorney’s Visit to Prison

         4 pm. Jamie drove his car into the parking lot in front of Claire's house. Finally alone. Finally, time to think about everything without being interrupted. A few minutes later, he carefully opened the door to Claire's house and when Adso didn’t show up he entered. First, he went into the kitchen, pulled up the window blind and looked at the two bowls on the ground. Both were empty. He rinsed out the drinking bowl and filled it with fresh water. Then he opened the cabinet containing the cans with the cat food. For fun and to see if the animal would really eat it, he chose a can of ‘Veggie Royal’. He reached for the can opener and started to work. Only seconds later he heard the kitchen door, which he had only ajar, open with a strong push. Immediately after that, the claws of four paws stitched themselves into his pants. In surprise and because of the sudden pain, Jamie dropped the can opener.          "Ah! Let go of my pants you wee beast!" 

         He reached for Adso, who was sticking his whole body to Jamie's right leg and slowly started to work upwards. With some difficulty, Jamie was able to release his leg from the cat. He put it down on the ground and held it by the neck for a moment. Then he looked at his pants. Adso's claws had pulled some threads that were now sticking out of the fabric.          "Look at what you have done, you greedy something! That was a whole new pair of pants. I will bill your mom for it. Then you will get vegetables for the next six months and you can forget about 'Sea Fish Royal'."          The cat looked grumpy and made growling noises. Jamie released Adso and sighed.          "Yes, you are right. I already sound like a judge. But I am the lawyer of your mom Claire and not yours ... "          Adso let out a bloodcurdling 'meow'.          "Yes, I understand.”

         Jamie sighed.          “I miss her, too, although I saw her two hours ago. Come on, let's eat."          After emptying the contents of the can into Adso's bowl, Jamie searched the kitchen cabinets for a plate. He grabbed the sandwiches he had bought on the way. Then he reached for the bottle of Pepsi Light he had taken with him from the trunk of his car. He sat down at the kitchen table and started to eat his first sandwich. While doing so, he watched as Adso chewed on his 'royal vegetables'.

         "Well, if it were 'Chicken Royal', you would have eaten it all out by this time, wouldn't you?"          Adso did not pay any attention to Jamie but made a grumbling sound.          The cat was still chewing on the vegetables when the red-haired can opener had already devoured his second sandwich. After finishing his meal, Jamie wanted to dispose of the paper bags into the bin. But when he opened it, he realized that he was already full. He took the bag from the bucket and while doing so, he noticed various food packages. Two blue boxes of the "Azora" type of biscuit from Bahlsen fell out of the bucket. Claire must have a weakness for that kind of biscuit. He tied the garbage bag and put it in front of the kitchen door. Then he began to open one cupboard door after the other. The packages he'd seen in the trash had made him curious. Behind the first door, he found cleaning equipment and a roll of garbage bags. Under the sink stood cleaning agents, sponges, small brushes and shoe polish. He didn’t open the second door under the sink. There was the cat food. He already knew that. Then he turned to the small cupboards above the sink and the oven. One of these cabinets contained a large number of little cans with loose tea. 

(”Tee” by Tomasz_Mikolajczyk)  

         In another cabinet, he found muesli varieties, crispbread, muesli bars, ready-made soups, mashed potatoes powder, dumplings, and baking ingredients. The third small cupboard contained a number of tiny glasses with different spices: white and black pepper, salt, sugar, cinnamon, anise, ginger, paprika, tikka masala, cardamom, turmeric, cumin, caraway. curry. In the upper compartment of the long cabinet on the other side of the counter, he found cans and jars of fruit and vegetables. Under this compartment was the refrigerator. He opened it and found nothing except some apples, a packet of butter and three packs of different cheeses. He decided that he would take a closer look at these cabinets when he had more time. Then he also would make a list of all the foods. It would certainly be useful to know which foods she preferred. 

(”Lebensmittel” by RitaE) 

         After he had provided the garbage can with a new bag, he left the kitchen. That was the moment, he noticed that Adso had disappeared. Jamie went to the first floor and entered the bathroom. A disgusting smell rose to his nose. He remembered, that he had noticed it the day before, but now it seemed to be even more penetrating. Then his eyes fell on the cat toilet, which stood in a corner of the bathroom.          "Uhh. No!"          Another thing he would have to take care of from now on.          "Irfrinn."

         Jamie pulled up the shutters of the bathroom window and opened it.  The rush of fresh air was a blessing. Now he noticed the plants that stood on the windowsill and beside the bathtub. It dawned on him that he would have to care for these too.          "One more job," he sighed.          Jamie left the bathroom and walked over to Claire's bedroom. He had no words for the chaos that displayed itself in front of his eyes. Claire had told him about her arrest and how rude the police had dealt with her, but he had not expected that. In front of a dressing table, he saw an antique-looking white chair that had been broken into several pieces. Besides the bedside table lay a broken porcelain vase. The mattress of the bed had been raised and then only provisionally laid back on the bedstead. Pillows and blankets were scattered all over the room. The doors of the wardrobes stood open. Apparently, they had been searched. No effort had been made to return the garments to the compartments from which they were pulled out. It would take several hours of time and effort to restore order to this room again. He cautiously climbed over some of the things lying on the ground. Then he opened the window blind and the window. Letting in the fresh air would be the first step. When he was on the way back down to the living room, he noticed a hatch embedded in the ceiling leading to the loft. What would it hide? He hurried down to the kitchen and opened the cupboard in which he had spotted the cleaning equipment. Between broom and scrubber, he found a pole with a born hook.          "That's what I was looking for," he said quietly as he pulled the pole out of the closet.         Back on the first floor, he led the born hook through the small eyelet, which was attached to the attic hatch and pulled at it. The hatch opened and slowly an extendable staircase glided towards him.

(”Attic Stairs, pulled down”by Scott Arneman [CC BY-SA 3.0 - https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0 - from Wikimedia Commons)

         Carefully, Jamie climbed the stairs. When he stuck his head through the hatch, at first he saw nothing. Then he felt a kind of railing to the right and left of the hatch. At the right post of this railing, he felt an attached remote control as he knew it for radio-controlled sockets. He pressed all four buttons and immediately different lamps went on in the room.

         "Clever!"         Jamie got out of the hatch, entered the floor and looked around in surprise. Instead of a dusty and cobwebbed loft, he found a kind of combined living room and study. As he looked around, he suddenly remembered a conversation with his former colleague Marcel. When Jamie was housesitting the apartment of a friend when Marcel came along for a visit. As he entered the apartment, Marcel looked around and said: "Every house speaks a language. Every house tells a story. And if we look closely, the house will tell us its story." Jamie was ready to watch and to listen carefully. He wanted to hear Claire's story. The story she hadn’t told him yet. Her story. Who was she?          “What story are you telling me, Claire? Talk to me, I'll listen ... attentively." 

         On one of the gables of the roof stood shelves with books and other trifles. Framed black and white photographs hung on the other gable wall. He went to the pictures and looked at them closely. One showed a middle-aged man with a beard and topee in front of an ancient building. Jamie knew instantly what place it was. It was the temple of Queen Hatshepsut at Luxor. The man in the picture had to be Claire's uncle Lambert. Another photo showed him with a young girl beside the feet of a colossal statue. Jamie suspected that this photo showed Claire and her uncle in front of the foot of one of the Ramses statues at the Great Temple of Abu Simbel. Another picture showed her and her uncle riding on camels. Jamie started to giggle. He would give a lot to see something like that with his own eyes - Claire on a camel. Before he came to look at the other pictures, he suddenly noticed how Adso stroked his legs.

         "How did you come here?"          He bent down and stroked the cat.          "Will you at least behave yourself?"          The cat gently squeezed his head into his hand.          "Hm. Seems so."          Jamie stretched and looked around the room. Seen from his right side was a large wooden box with metal fittings. He walked over to it and saw that a lettering had been placed on the upper side of the box: "Q. L. Beauchamp." Apparently, the box once belonged to Claire's uncle. What would it contain? Jamie resisted the desire to open it. Right next to the box stood a small black leather sofa. A beige pillow and a dark red rug lay on top of it. In front of the sofa stood a coffee table. On it, he found Claire's laptop in front of a flat screen. Again, he resisted his curiosity to open the laptop. Then he remembered the second gable wall, the one where the bookshelves stood. Most of the books were older books dealing with archaeological topics and countries where Lambert Beauchamp had been active. But there were also some newer publications. Among them, Jamie discovered Tim Jeal's book "Stanley - The Impossible Life of Africa's Greatest Explorer," as well as various books by the British Archaeologist and Egyptologist David Rohl. He immediately recognized the spine of ‘A Test of Time’. Next to it stood ‘The Lords of Avaris’ and ‘From Eden to Exile’.

(Picture: Private)

          Several times he tapped his right leg with the palm of his hand, whispering:

         "Claire, Claire, Claire, Claire. Undeniably, your uncle was a very unconventional man."

         Jamie smiled and turned to the other side of the roof. In the middle, there was a modern tilting window with a sunshade. Underneath stood a simple wooden desk with a modern desk chair. The desk was tidied up. On the left side, he saw some books and notebooks. Each of these notebooks was bound in leather. Year figures were printed in golden letters on the spines. He picked up the notebook closest to him and opened it. At the sight of the lines, he realized that it was a diary. Claire's handwriting was beautiful, bright and consistent. He closed the book without reading and put it back in its place. A modern desk lamp stood on the right side of the desk. Like the floor lamp next to the couch and the floor lamps next to the bookshelves it lightened up when he had touched the remote control at the post of the railing. Next to the books on the desk, he noticed an open calendar in front of it a pen tray. Everything was clean and orderly. Then his eyes fell on the writing pad. There was a book wrapped in a leather cover with a silver fountain pen in a loop at the right edge of it. It was probably Claire's current diary. 

(”Traveler’s Notebook” by AnnaBetlejewska) 

         Jamie gently stroked it with his right hand. No, he would not open it. He already felt like an intruder. This was obviously Claire's personal refuge. He was glad that the police didn’t cause disorder or damage here. He knew from other cases what traumatic consequences a house search could have for the people affected. The unimpeded invasion of a person's privacy always had consequences. For most of the people who experienced such a search, their sense of security was damaged for many years. Had the police even discovered this room? He doubted it because he could not believe that otherwise, they would have left behind Claire's most personal records. Especially her diaries would have been of great interest to the prosecutor. Also, her laptop would have been confiscated. 

         He went back to the little black sofa and sat down. Then he took the pillow and then the blanket and smelled it. Was that Claire's smell? He wasn't sure. Suddenly Adso crawled out from under the coffee table, jumped into the seat next to him and scrambled onto his lap. Jamie sighed. Then he started to scratch the cat. Meanwhile, he let his eyes wander carefully around the room again.

         “This room tells me a lot about your mom, old boy. She is a very disciplined and organized person, right?  That doesn’t fit into the picture of the act she was accused of. If she wanted to kill a person, she wouldn’t cause as much chaos as the person who killed Frank Randall. No, that’s not the way she thinks and works.” 

         The cat purred under his hands.

         “Besides, your mom is a smart woman. With her medical knowledge, she would undoubtedly have found other ways to get rid of the old crook. If she had really wanted to kill him, she would certainly have done so in a way that no one could have proved it to her. No, the bloodbath in Grunewald does not suit her at all.”

         Adso stretched. The cat climbed from Jamie's lap and walked over to the pillow. Like Jamie just before, he smelled it. Then he looked questioningly at Jamie and meowed.

         "It seems we both miss her."          The cat answered with some more meows. Jamie didn't know how long he'd sat on the sofa with Adso. But when his stomach started to growl, he knew it was time for dinner. He set the cat carefully on the ground.          "Come on, we have to go."

         He got up and looked around the room again. Then he went to the desk. He gently stroked the backs of Claire's diaries. Finally, he put his left hand on the book that lay on the writing pad and stayed that way. Then he broke free and headed for the stairs.

As always: Thank you for reading and the comments you left. If you have questions, just sent me a DM or put it in the comments. You are very welcome :) - Next time, read: “Secret Whitsun Holidays on Rügen (6): Sharing Joy and Sorrow (4)”

[chezzkaa]

Numb pt 1

Click here for more Numb content OR JOIN THE NUMB DISCORD

Lumberjack AU

Pairing: Ryan Haywood x Reader

WC: 2500+

Relief comes in the form of a fresh pair of socks. After clomping into the lodge for what feels like the millionth time that day you kick off your boots; the old offending pair lying discarded after being immediately shed in favour of something far thicker and obnoxious with pompoms. Soggy and sad, you can see those left abandoned creating pools by the door over the top of the one mug you’d insisted on keeping unpacked for occasions such as these. You haven’t touched the sandwich, stale bread adorning the sodden cardboard the gas station had graciously wrapped it in, tomato looking suspiciously like sludge and avocado even more like something you’d find between bathroom tiles. It doesn’t bother you though, and it’s nothing a monumentally sweet cup of herbal tea can’t fix for the time being. You just needed to make it to dinner.

It’s through the steam that you smile; hope as warm as the fire roaring in the hearth, mood impervious to the dampness of falling snow. It encases the edges of the splintered window frames, closing in as it lines the sills and topples every now and again from the roof with a shudder. And though empty walls wait with bated breath, ready to bare the pride of their new owners, you can’t bring yourself to start unpacking. Empty cupboards beg to be filled, closets eager to be lined and bathrooms desperate to be stocked - all screaming for some form of progress despite knowing you intend on offering none. Not yet, anyway.

Crates are jammed in every free corner, staircase blocked with a barrage of suitcases while furniture is left littered with packages and the promise of a nap. Even the room you’ve claimed as your own, the largest in all respects and the one you rightfully deserve after picking up the keys and moving across the country early and alone; has only the bed made. And, if someone were to clamber over the mountain of belongings at the foot of the stairs and traipse through the hallway lined with linen, they’d see a wardrobe harbouring piles of clothes and a carpet fashioned into a maze of mismatched books and boxes.

But you’re too involved in the moment to worry about everything you need to do, enraptured in the peace of a promising beginning. A fresh start is just what you need. A new place in a new town where no one knows your name. Where memories can be buried in the snowfall, and a future career can be forged in tree trunks. Here, you’re Y/N, no more and no less. Y/N, a woman who really needs to get on with the rest of the evening.

A gentle sigh escapes into your mug, a soft hum that’s swallowed with the remains of your tea. Aching feet pad against the rich wooden panels lining the floor, slowly easing you into an evening free from the bustle of a choking city. Void of the demands of people, or the hollowness of a house you’d come to refuse as home. Another comfortable breath comes as a jumper is pulled over your head, fabric softly tugging against your skin like caressing fingers. Even your laces cause little trouble, boots done up in no time before you’re out the door, nose buried in the cream fluff of a scarf.

The crunch of fresh snow starts off your journey into the town centre of Motbury; leading you down the damp wooden steps and onto the small stone path tracing through your new garden, property lined with thick pine trunks and shivering greenery. Late afternoon sun rays drift lazily through the branches, dusting the world with a pleasant yellow glow you can’t help smiling into. A quick glance backwards says goodbye to the lodge and its characteristic grooves, to its tattered log exterior and triangular peaks, sharp supports and clusters of windows. To the stone columns you swear you’ll coat in fairy lights and markings, the wagon wheels you’re certain you’ll never get around to moving, and the mound of firewood stacked haphazardly against the side of your new home.

---

The first store you enter welcomes you with open arms and a comfortable heat, gentle jingles of the bell above the door seeing the man behind the cash register’s head lifting. He smiles through a dark beard flecked with greys, hair a mess with the numerous passes his tattooed fingers make across it. Still, the expression sees a face creased with age brighten, bearing the same cutting lines that accompany his front door. He greets you with a casual hello before returning his attention to the two figures in faded uniform on the opposite side of the checkout, nodding along to their stories.

From the back you can’t make out much besides their thick, fur trimmed coats and working boots - but the guns holstered to their sides tells you enough. The shorter of the two, of who is at least a head below the man on the right, runs a hand through brightly coloured hair, diffusing icy blues and mousey brown roots. The tension marrying between his broad shoulders explains the concern twitching restlessly in his fingers, nerves conducting the gentle incessant taps of his toes. Such apprehension is mirrored in the flash you catch of the other man’s expression; muted red curls trimmed neat, freckles splotching pale skin.

The pair hears your entrance, turning too late as you disappear into the aisles with a small cart, eyes intent on the slip of paper decorating your palm. Murmurs still snake across the floor, your back growing warm as their voices brush against it. Snippets of conversation follow; questions about family and comments about the upcoming forecast. A conversation that refuses to linger on the missing posters plastered to the windows, and a warning about getting the store secured before the raging weather hits. Boisterous laughter finally defrosts the room that’s slowly been icing over with their worries, and it joins the selection of bread you sift through, loaves and rolls scattered with seeds accompanying the vegetables you’ve collected on the journey through the store.

None of the other bodies in the cosy space seem to mind the presence of the police, all wearing gentle expressions and comfortable shoulders. It puts you at ease, the usual nagging concern that bounces in your chest at the sight of law enforcement ebbing away. From the corner of your eye the quirk of a tall man’s lips sees the pressure stringing down your neck thaw, close enough for you to hear him chuckling at the conversation overtaking the front of the store, his amusement tumbling into the butcher’s display. His head shakes within the palm his chin rests against, smile turning into a grin. Then a large, callous hand pushes back loose strands of sweeping sandy blonde, impatiently forcing red plaid sleeves back up to the crook of his elbows.

And then you see it, something that makes your heart leap and pulse race, breath catching with a stifled gasp - there’s a special on steak. You beeline for it, now close enough to feeling the man’s warm laughter caress your side. Gathering a few packages and dumping them into your cart, you return to the sausages, of which the blonde seems to be struggling with. He holds two varieties in his hands, glancing from one to the other, utterly perplexed. You can see the difficulty, considering the options before making a decision.

“Pork and sage are always a good choice,” you offer helpfully, reaching in front and collecting an identical pack to the one he’s debating.

“You couldn’t be more right,” he replies after a moment, turning his incredibly blue eyes to you. The twitch of his lips widens into a smile, discarding the losing flavour and placing the winner in his basket. “You’ve just made dinner a hell of a lot easier.”  

“Just doing my duty.”

“Your country thanks you,” he chuckles, and your stomach leaps.

Intending to respond with a witty remark you’re almost certain won’t be nearly as clever as you hope, the words die in your throat with the crash fracturing the air; as sudden as the tumble of cusses emanating from the front of the store. You both whip your attention to the shattering of glass and the fuming voice of the shopkeeper, frustration buried in another person’s giggles. “Oh c’mon, Jeremy! That’s the 2nd jar this week!”

“Shit,” responds the man you assume to be Jeremy with a groan, “I’m so sorry Geoff.”

“I should have you bloody arrested for this.”

“I could do it, Geoff,” interjects the taller man eagerly, giggles eventually subsiding. “Just say the words. Please. Ask me to arrest him. God damn it Geoff. This is all I’ve ever wanted. Please have me arrest Jeremy.” 

You can’t hold back the sniggers, joy dripping through the fingers you hide your lips behind. The stranger beside you joins in, shaking his grinning face yet again. Far taller than you, he stands on his tiptoes, peering over the shorter shelves. “There go the complimentary chocolates.” He rocks back on the balls of his feet, wincing. “Damn it. Geoff always has the one with little hazelnuts inside.”

“What a waste,” you gasp, hand clutching your scarf in an action he mirrors. “Does this happen often?”

He glances at you, surprised. It takes him a moment to realise that he doesn’t actually recognise you, having accepted your conversation and comfortability as a form of familiarity. “All the time. That pair make a mess everywhere they go. I’m sorry, I’m being rude. You’re new here?”

“Just moved in,” you reply, brushing away his disappointment in his manners, “I bought the lodge up the road.” You shake the hand he offers, dwarfed in his firm grasp. “I’m Y/N. Figured I’d collect some supplies before my roommates arrive.”

“Ryan.” He smiles, a lopsided, carefree expression that leaves him looking younger. “I’d tell you that you’d get used to them, but you really don’t. 2 years and the short one’s still a pain in my ass.” He laughs, warm and rich. “I don’t let him in the shop anymore, he’s always breaking stuff. But I won’t take up any more of your time.” He gives your trolley a pointed glance, assessing it’s contents and then your stature. “It looks like you’ve got a lot of hungry mouths to feed.”

You offer him a shrug, rather enjoying his company. “Not for a few more days. I moved in early to sort out some paperwork, pick up the keys and make sure everything’s set up. I’ll probably end up shopping again in a few more days. They’re animals.”

“The lodge, you said?” He’s quiet for a moment, thoughtful and tracing the paths he knows so well in his head. “The one on the outskirts, went extremely cheap?”

“Suspiciously cheap,” you correct.

“By the tree line?”

“That’s the one.”

He dives into his pocket while you’re speaking, sawdust trembling from the patches plastered against his pants. Rummaging around, he discards a number of crumbled receipts into his basket before pulling out a business card. “Here,” he insists, pressing the laminated piece into your expectant palm. “I run the local carpentry store; ‘Hay Woodworks’. A place like yours is gonna require some fixing up. We try to keep on top of the scratches around the doors and window frames - nah, don’t look so scared, it’s just animals trying to find shelter in the storms - but it’s always best to be safe. One good gust and the whole thing can cave, even with the newer buildings. I’d be happy to help out, even if it’s just to check the property out before the storms hit. I’ll sort you out with anything.”

Your eyebrow quirks, testing the waters with a timid snatch at opportunity. “What about a job?”

He considers this thoroughly, picking up one of your hands and studying it, folding it over in his own. Finally, he lets it drop, lips pursing to the side. “What’ve you worked with?”

“Mainly statement pieces and decorations,” you reply fondly, thumb tracing one of the many callouses that’d stained your hands years ago, skin tattered with scars. “But I’m good on a ladder. I used to work in my Granddad’s shop when I was younger and we’d go out and fix up houses. I haven’t carved in a while, but I’m all about new beginnings right now.”

He’s lips tug into a broad grin, welcoming and infectious. “I think I could find something for you to do. It’d be hard work, but swing by the shop tomorrow and we’ll see what you can do. I’ve got a couple of fix up jobs lined up for the coming few weeks, I could do with a hand once I know what you’re capable of.”

You’re beaming as you thank him, potential rushing through your mind with the excited shake of your hands. Eventually you pry yourself away with his insistence of having taken up too much of your time. Venturing further into the groceries, you throwing a few well-timed glances back at him, Ryan staring intently at his shoes before shaking himself, tearing away from your line of sight at the call of his name. During your interaction the commotion taking over the front of the store has died down, cheerful warmth still radiating in spite of the cold rattling against the exterior walls.

“Hold on, Michael,” comes a voice over the shelves a few minutes later as you’re leaning into the milk fridge, overwhelmed with the hum of freezer elements, unable to discern it’s familiarity, “I just want to check something first.”

“Go for it, J,” encourages Michael, hearing the bell jingle as he pushes open the door and says his goodbyes to Ryan, gusts of freezing wind playing with his curls. “I’ll be in the patrol car with my ass pressed to the heater.”

You pay the conversation no mind, finally having picked up enough produce to keep a small family fed for a week - or your roommates satiated for at least 3 days. Making your way to the checkout, the voice comes again, curious and careful. “Y/N?”

Spinning, you find yourself facing the small, bright officer, deep brown eyes widening in disbelieving joy. He’s stronger with your name this time, excited. “Y/N! Since when do you shop up in the mountains?”

“Jeremy,” you breath, shock coursing through your veins, “oh my god, is that really you?”

“Jesus,” he chuckles incredulously, both embracing for a long moment before he holds you out at arm’s length. He can’t quite comprehend your existence, drinking in the sight of his long lost friend. “It’s been, what, 2 years? How’ve you been?”

“Alright,” you admit rather hollowly, blinking a few times to stay on track. “What’re you doing here?”

“I work here now.” There’s pride in his voice, chest puffing up and finger jabbing the patch adoring his breast pocket, a similar one on his arm. “I was transferred here after we stopped working together, you’re looking at Motbury’s detective chief inspector.”

“You’re kidding.” You laugh, elated and vaguely aware of Ryan paying for his groceries, returning the wave he throws you from the door. Another billow of wind, ice nipping the tip of your nose. “You finally got your promotion.”

“You bet your ass I did, and a haircut.” His fingers skim the colour that’d made him so unrecognisable, and your heart feels instantly lighter.

“It looks great.”

[theaspiringwanderess]

Packing For The West Coast Trail; Essentials, Clothing and Food

Return to My WCT Story | Booking: Reservations/Transport | Clothing, Essential Items, Recommended Items, Optional Items, Food

You Don’t Need The Kitchen Sink - Trust Me

Packing is a BIG deal for the WCT. It’s a lot to pack and there’s the pressure of not getting caught without the essential gear while keeping it all at a manageable weight. My first WCT trek I vastly over packed a 53lbs bag! It killed my hike and was hard on my body and most of the extra was food I hated, which was the worst. My second time I managed 38lbs and it went down dramatically as I ate! I packed everything on each list below (minus the book which i forgot and the GPS which I didnt bring) and still kept it at 38lbs including my food. Always opt for the lightest version. Cut size where you can, even the smallest items eventually add up (ex. some people cut off tooth brush handles, I have a rain shell instead of a full jacket, a double foam sleeping mat is much lighter - but bigger- than a blow-up mattress, an ultra light single unit stove, etc)... One spork for all and all for one spork!

Clothing

The proper clothing is a key factor in keeping you dry, warm/cool and happy. It’s important to keep it light weight but you also must be certain it’s functional for your needs. In 2016, my sister brought a rain jacket she tested and thought was waterproof. A full day of beach hiking in pouring rain later, not only did she learn the hard way it was not, but poor girl was cold, soaked and shivering too hard to do anything but shiver. Be 100% sure about your gear. You also want to be selective about fabrics. Avoid cotton, which retains moisture, and feather/down which loses its loft (heat trapping ability) when damp. Merino wool is a great bet to stay warm and dry and is the best option for socks and sweaters. Synthetic, sweat-wicking active wear is light weight and dries quickly for the daily hike. I also prefer my leggings and shorts to have a zip-up pocket or two. 

I pack my clothing in a waterproof stuff-sack, and I put tanks in one small ziplock, underwear and bras in another, and pjs in a third so they stay dry, clean and easy to find. I keep a safeway bag for dirty clothing and my lesser used items at the bottom (towel, bathing suite).

I always pack my sleeping bag in a garbage bag every morning before it goes in my pack. In the event I fall in a creek... or the ocean?... it’ll add a level of extra water-proof protection. I also re-waterproofed my Lowa hiking boots for the first time ever... this is their second visit to the WCT after all. And, as a random side note, don’t plan to wash your clothes on the WCT. I’ve seen so many people make this mistake. Trust me, nothing that gets wet will dry. EVER. If you have a sunny day, air it out, dry it in the sun, pack it up in a ziplock.

It’s important to note everyone has different needs. You might be ok with 2 pairs of hiking socks! Or one pair of leggings... This is just what worked best for me based on the experiences of both my trips. Customize your WCT adventure-wear as you see fit ;)

3 tank tops, active wear / workout (sweat wicking, not cotton!)

2 pairs of leggings, active wear / workout (seat wicking and stretchy for flexibility and comfort with zip pockets)

2 pairs of workout shorts (sweat wicking and stretchy, w/zip pockets)

3 pairs of merino wool hiking socks

1 pair of wooly socks to sleep in (in case you get cold)

2 pairs of sock liners (major blister prevention technique)

PJs: 1 tank top, 1 merino wool sweater, 1 pair merino leggings or light weight sweat pants

1 or 2 long sleeved sweater(s) active wear / sweat wicking (to wear under your rain jacket or as a warming option in morning) *I took one, but in the event you’re sweaty or expect a lot of rain, 2 is advisable.

3 pairs of underwear active wear / workout (or merino wool if you want to splurge) *for women 7 panty liners (1 per day) to extend your underwear life.

1 bathing suite top (use a pair of used shorts for bottoms and you’ll double their use and wash them at the same time!) ... or dudes wear just your shorts of course!

Essential Items

*For your emergency kit it is extremely important to bring allergy and pain meds. Unexpected reactions and injuries happen all the time. On my Murtle Lake canoe trip, my friend had a terrible reaction to the abundance of mosquitos for the first time in her life and I myself, not having allergies, have come away from the WCT with skin infections and allergic reactions. On average 80-100 hikers a year are emergency evacuated from the WCT due to injury or inability to continue.

1 good hiking backpack with hip belt & chest strap & RAIN COVER

1 pair waterproof hiking boots high top - comfortable, already broken in

1 pair hiking gaiters (protect against ticks, bugs, keeps pants, legs and boots dry, shields mud!)

WCT Trail Map, Tide Tables (provided by parks staff)

WCT overnight pass copy (in a ziplock bag somewhere safe)

$160 minimum cash for water taxi, crab shack, chez moniques (in a ziplock bag somewhere safe)

1 pair ultra-light sandals

1 waterproof rain jacket

1 towel (very small, microfibre recommended)

bear spray

single size cooking stove (I love my jetboil flash lite)

cooking stove fuel for 7 days (2 small cans or one large 230 g can)

long handled spork (this titanium one is the shiznit!)

emergency whistle

emergency kit (gauze, medical tape, various sized bandages, disinfecting/antibiotic cream, a few tabs of common medications such as tylonel, asprin, allergy treatments like benedryl or reactin).

2 regular toilet paper rolls with cardboard tube removed (in a ziplock)

Fire Starters:

1 lighter & 1 flint striker (learn how to use it! This is a great video)

Dependable fire starter (2 or 3 tiny balls of dryer lint rolled with a small amount of unscented vaseline inside a ziplock bag work great in wet weather and will burn for 10-15 mins)

sunscreen

2 (1 litre) water bottles OR 1 bottle and a 2 litre camel back water bag

Water purification tabs (my go-to is Pristine brand). Ensure they are the 30 minute variety (not 1-3 hours). Alternatively some people use a UV light but this does require batteries and adds weight

tarp, lightweight

paracord (15 m or 50 ft)

2 carabiners, 1 that can hold 50 lbs, 1 small light (for random things)

1 sleeping bag, synthetic fill (ideally good for +5 celcius)

1 waterproof tent with rainfly (*I have a cheap 2 person waterproof coleman tent with a tarp bottom that I later bought replacement aluminum poles for. The poles made a 5lb tent a 3lb tent - impressive investment. I pack the poles and my friend the tent body = 1.5lb/each)

cell phone (I use my phone camera a lot so I brought 2 backup chargers. Solar charging is not an option given fog)

3 extra large black garbage bags and  

3 large ziplocks (for trash, as an emergency poncho, keep feet dry in wet boots, the uses are endless)

1 pocket knife

1 flashlight

sunglasses

closed cell foam sleeping pad or light weight blow up mattress pad

1 watch, battery or wind-up water proof or at least resistant - digital watches can get damaged when wet or expensive watches ruined)

1 poop trowel.. yes you read that correctly - the plastic kind

1 bug spray (there weren’t many bugs, lots of wind though!)

2 travel sized hand sanitizers (for covid & as well after nature’s call)

1 emergency blanket

1 small soap or body wash (environmentally friendly brand)

1 travel toothpaste & toothbrush [small]

gloves (fingerless mesh back type for weight lifting is best)

neck gaiter (*instead of a hat - can double as a hat)

Other Recommended Items

unscented lip balm... you don’t want to smell like a walking buffet

1 light weight sleeping bag liner to keep sand and dirt out (I prefer silk)

ball cap or foam visor *non-water absorbing (this can be worn on a sunny day or under a rain hood to keep rain off your face).

1 emergency plastic poncho

1-2 hair ties (it gets wet and windy and they double as pack ties!)

sweat band

baby wipes (good for cleaning your face, or dishes...)

a small book or time passer (don’t bring a giant novel)

Items I’d Consider Optional

rain pants (*optional as long as you have a long waterproof rain jacket. gaiters provide extra leg protection or if its warm don shorts! skin dries)

small camera with good battery life (not necessary if you use your phone)

pen and paper for notes or emergencies

small GPS or Spot satellite device

1 waterproof phone case (if you bring a phone)

1 extra light pillow (optional - i had one this time but usually use my sweater)

Food Recommendations

On the WCT you are expending roughly 3000-4000+ calories per day. That’s more than double the average 120lb marathon runner going hard for 2 hours if they ran 12 miles. You are Climbing, Hauling, Pushing, and your feet are operating at the agility level of “expert cat on steroids”. So, essentially you NEED the calories. But packing the right amount (and weight) of food is challenging. I’m happy to report this time I ate it all by the end so it was the perfect amount. If you find you are running low or forgot something, you might be able to grab it from the Nitinaht crab shack and likewise if you over pack you can leave extra food there for someone else. But please, do NOT leave garbage.

**Note, I must, must stress - DO NOT leave garbage on the trail. There is no garbage removal service. Parks staff do not remove it and with covid there are fewer staff in general. Garbage is a major bear attractant and you put others at risk leaving it behind. 2021 is a year with only Canadians allowed on the WCT and the amount of garbage was appalling.

The WCT, and island in general, is VERY humid. It’s best to bring items in individual packages, otherwise things clump or mush. On our first trip, my sister brought important medications that melted and became extremely difficult to take. My advice is to pack any daily meds you must bring in the plastic containers with individual days. This way if something similar happens to you, you can still be safe knowing the amount taken.

Additionally, I work with a very simple but effective system of ziplock bags. This keeps everything fresh, organized, and easy to find as you go. I have one large ziplock for breakfasts, one for lunch & snacks, and one for dinner. As I finish breakfast I move it to the bottom of my bear bag and put lunch/snacks on top for easy access and so on - Ta-da!

I consider lunch and snacks the same thing as we never stopped for a cooked meal mid-day. In 2016 my sister talked me into doing dried lentil dinners and it was the WORST (... for me, she loved it!). It made it hard for me to want to eat, which was a big set back. I have this vivid memory burned into my brain from our first trip of an adorable father - daughter duo whom we criss-crossed a lot. One rainy day he had her tucked up under a tree eating the most delicious looking meat and cheese sandwich and my instant thought was ‘awww, so cute... I’d kill you for that sandwich though...”. Who knew a sandwich could insight such murderous intent?!

My lesson learned was when it comes to physically demanding, multi-day hikes, pack healthy but also things you enjoy eating. I strive for light weight first and foremost. I love fruit but it doesn’t pack well, so items like fruit leathers work well. Real, individually wrapped, cheese sticks are a great too; by day 5 they get soft or oily, but they never go bad (harder cheeses like cheddar are naturally preserved), so I stick to 4 or 5 day cheese supplies. My ultra-favourite hiking snack - individual wrapped rice crispy squares! I pack 2 per day... and a couple extra for desserts! I never packed enough of each junk food to have one for every day, instead with treats I generally aimed to have 4-5 of each and mix it up. In between hikes, I also spend some time picking up and trying different types of nuts. Don’t get me wrong, peanuts are good, but after 4 days they get pretty boring. I often pop into a Winners or Home Sense store and look for enticing types of nut mixes and I’ll keep them in my car to snack on and decide if its a keeper.

Im also very careful about toothbrushing too because prolonged periods of hiking without proper dental care wrecks havoc on your teeth.

Ok! Down to the nitty-gritty! My dinner ziplock has 1 dinner for each night and sometimes a hot (dehydrated) dessert. And I have a small ziplock for items like my toothbrush, toothpaste, body wash slips, and anything else that might need to go in the bear bag. Again, I’ll preface this by saying its important to note everyone’s needs are unique and based on the experiences of both my trips, this is the food I packed.

Breakfast Ziplock

7-8 easy breakfasts (i pack 1 peaches & cream oatmeal for each morning and an extra in case we missed the bus).

coffee - starbucks via’s have been my favs! but nescafe also makes individual coffees and a fab toffee nut cappuccino option!

sugar and powdered creamer (individual pkgs) & tea in a smaller ziplock

a smaller ziplock for toothbrush/paste, body wash etc

Lunch / Snacks Ziplock

bag of beef jerky

individual (real) cheese sticks (usually cheddar, or a hard variety works best, soft cheese goes bad faster)

a few bags of different varieties of nuts (*lemon sea salt almonds, tamari nut mix, cilantro lime cashews, Dare brand Vietnamese coffee flavoured macadamia nuts)

2 bags snack sized hawkins cheezies

5 individually pkgd M&M’s chocolate & oatmeal cookies (*the M&M cookies were crumbly, the oatmeal squished but stuck together!)

16 Rice crispy squares - my ultra-fav hiking snack, individually wrapped (2 per day + couple extras)

4 fruit leather bars in a smaller ziplock

4 snack sized oh-henrys in a smaller ziplock

2 bags Stinger caffeine gummies & 2 capsules Nuune electrolyte/caffeine tabs in a smaller ziplock

Dinner Ziplock

1 dinner for each night and sometimes a hot (dehydrated) dessert

Presidents Choice brand (bagged) vegetarian chili *this was a new try for me, normally I advocate for dry only food because wet is messy, can leak, is heavy and can go bad fast. BUT! I ate this the first night on the trail so it was gone quickly, and it stood up to the abuse and was only $3!

AlpineAire potato cheddar soup (dehydrated) is my fav dinner. fast, hot, make in the bag, and tasty!

2 Stove Top brand stuffing; cut a small hole, let out the air, retape. write water and instructions on the bag. Throw away the box. (*mix with 1 pkg gravy)

1 Instant mashed potatoes; cut a small hole, let out the air, retape. write water and instructions on the bag. Throw away the box. (*mix with 1 pkg gravy) - FYI this is a BIG meal, make only what you can eat or bring a smaller amount if you cant eat the whole thing.

3 pkgs reduced salt gravy mix

1 Nomad Nutrition vegetarian shepards pie dehydrated meal.

1 dehydrated dessert hot option (maple rice pudding this time!)

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