#i can’t remember who said it but I think one of the devs said ‘do u think moon would still care so much about 5P if he was always like this’

[apotelesmaa]

Objectively yes five pebbles deserves most of the blame for every problem in rain world but I think seven red suns does not get near enough flack for knowing five pebbles wanted nothing more than to end it all, knowing he shared resources with moon, knowing 5P trusted and looked up to him and STILL choosing to send him the information on the very risky plan to die that requires constantly utilizing every drop of water at your disposal and requires complete perfection in execution to avoid giving yourself super turbo mega cancer. & then going Omg I can’t believe five pebbles has done this :( why is he so mad at me now :( my iterator in Christ you literally gave him step by step instructions on how to ruin his life and accidentally kill his sister what did you think was going to happen.

[starrdevereauxx]

I said last time would be the last time.

Brandon broke up with me 6 months ago. I’ve been a wreck for weeks on end. I promised myself to get over it, but it’s been such a hard thing to process. We would always fight, make up, make love and act like nothing ever happened. He was gone this time. This was the longest we ever been apart.

I try to find things to do to pass the time, but nothing ever seems to take my mind off him. I still smell him, breathe him, and feel him through my body. Our mutual friends always give messages about him, but I’ve been ignoring them lately. My heart can’t take listening to his name, let alone hearing of any accomplishments.

I need to run my errands today, but like everyday I become sad running them alone. We did everything together, after 6 years I can’t believe that we don’t do this anymore.

Heading to the grocery store I become sad with my list of groceries for one instead of two. I hop in my car and turn on “our” playlist. Hoping I can borrow a feeling from any song that plays. Another slow song begins to play and I’m seeing myself in the mirror. Envisioning him touching me, wishing my hands were his. Rubbing the side of my face, choking me ever so lightly. I literally just felt my pussy drip at this light.

“Get it together Dev” I say trying to convince myself that I’m over him. Knowing damn well I’m not. I can feel him inside my pussy when I think about him. The feeling intensifies with every breath I take.

I gather myself to go inside of the store, with my lonely list of single items. Looking at the list I just remember every single meal I ever made for him. Pouring my heart into each meal, now I can only make food for myself. I sob gathering myself for this lonely trip.

I walk through the store, gathering each item reluctantly. Wishing we were laughing together, talking about what we gonna pretend to watch on Netflix when we got back home. Saying pretend because it we wouldn’t make it pass the opening credits without his chocolate snicker veined dick engorged in my throat. He would be gagging me before we knew the name of the movie.

After looking at my cart, I figured I deserved a treat. I tried to maintain a healthy cart since I’m single, I need to stay in shape. The most physical activity I get is the gym these days, so I had to maintain some resemblance of care in my food intake. But with all the crying that I’ve been doing, today I deserve a treat. I decided to head back to the ice cream isle and help myself to something to lift my spirits.

As I walk to the back of the store with my headphones on, I’m letting Chris Brown sing me to a happy place. I almost begin to get a spring in my step as he’s talking about fucking someone back to sleep.

I make it to the ice cream section and I immediately look for Ben & Jerry’s tasty ass. I see it, straight ahead “Chunky Monkey”. I move my cart out of the way to reach for it. As I get ready to reach for the pint, I feel some thing grab me, startled I think I’m in trouble for climbing inside the refrigerator. Moving my headphones so I can hear, a deep, smoldering voice says

“that’s still your favorite ice cream I see, even though I also remember that your monkey was the only chunky I ever wanted”.

I’m fucking stuck. There’s only one voice I know that sounds like that, and my pussy dripping is letting me know exactly who it is.

“Brandon, oh wow. It’s crazy seeing you here. How are you?” I gulp nervously.

“You look good Dev, time has been good to you. But then again when has it not?” Brandon says as he looks at me like he’s about to take my throat from me right here in this store.

As I prepare to answer him, someone loudly over talks me.

“Babe, BABE.. do you want movie popcorn or kettle corn?” I turn to see a bubbly perky breasted young lady yelling to her significant other about popcorn. I turned back around to see if I see him, just for my heart to sink as I realize that there’s nobody here but me and Brandon here. She’s talking to him. Oh my God, he has a girlfriend.

“I’m so sorry ma’am, I was just trying to get a hold of my fiancé, I didn’t mean to bump you, my apologies” she smiles.

“Kettle Corn baby, thank you” he replies.

She skips off to honor his request. I stand there putting my broken heart back in my chest, not making it obvious that I’m literally breaking apart inside. FIANCÉ!?!? What in the fuck is this? After 6 years together, he never asked me to marry him. I’m even more convinced that it was never going to be me.

“Well congratulations to you and your fiancé, you deserve happiness. Be well Brandon.” I say tearfully as I run off, forgetting my ice cream. At this point I just want to disappear.

I get to the register, pay for my items and hurry to my car.

It was a long walk to my car. I always parked far from stores because I loved to get my steps in. Every step counts to me. So I had enough time to cry myself to the car and be over it by the time I started my car.

I open my trunk and back seat to place my purse down as I organize my groceries in the back, just incase if I needed room for a surprise bullseye store trip. I think after that encounter, I deserve some retail therapy now.

As I near the finish of my organization, I feel someone tap me from behind and say “I thought we discussed you parking way the hell back here. Nobody can see you back here.” Brandon says with what looks like chunky monkey ice cream in his hands.

“What the fuck are you doing back here? Where’s your fiancé? Why are you here? I-“ he stops me mid sentence, placing the ice cream in my hand.

“I’m sorry, I should have told you about Keisha. You didn’t deserve to find out like this” he says looking at me sincerely.

“You don’t owe me anything, we are over. It’s your life. We have both clearly moved on.” I say proudly, pretending that I don’t feel like bending over right now and letting him turn me into a Twinkie.

He stares at me in my eyes with a look I haven’t seen in so long, but I remember well. I break contact and go back to packing my car so I can leave this awkward encounter.

He grabs my arm forcefully, making me drop my car keys in the backseat. Turning me towards him, forcing me to look at him. I begin to tear away in anger because I’m loosing control to my body.

“Get the fuck off me Brandon, what in the hell is your problem. Let me the fuck go.”

I try to break free from his grip. I feel his dick literally growing with anticipation the more I fight.

He stops me and looks me in my eyes. He’s subdued me with his piercing glare. He presses up against me, placing his hands on my body. One softly but firmly on my neck and the other on my left breast, lightly massaging it and grazing the nipple ever so softly. My breathing becomes shallow and scattered. What is he doing? Why is he doing this? Isn’t his fiancé near by or in the car wondering where he is. I’m sure she’s looking for him. In this moment, I don’t think either one of us cares. My pussy is wet and gushing between my panties that I know is drenched at this point.

“I know you feel what I feel for you. I haven’t had a day go by that I haven’t thought about you Dev. We broke up, but never really let go. If you tell me to let you go right now, I’ll stop and walk away forever. You want me to stop?” He says while looking me in my dough eyes. I have no voice to even reply. My red lips are pursed and parted from the small breaths I continue to take. I shake my head no while staring him completely in his eyes.

He leans onto me, kissing me softly, hand still wrapped around my neck. He kisses my lips softly and becomes more aggressive every time he touches his lips to mine. He parts my lips to slide his tongue inside my mouth, I close my mouth to proceed to suck his tongue. Feeling now that his dick is rock hard.

“Show me that you still love me” he says as I’m already unbuckling his jeans. I drop to my knees and open my mouth. Giving him my entire throat to use as he pleases. Forcing my head on and off his dick, using my mouth as his personal pocket pussy. Grabbing both sides of my face, moaning loudly in this parking structure like we are outside alone. He literally has no fear of being caught in this moment. Brandon’s dick is so deep down my throat that he’s breathing for the both of us.

I feel his precum slip pass my lips. He stops. He pulls me off my knees and stands me up, just to pull down my leggings, revealing my cummed in panties. He begins to take his dick to rub my clit while I stand there defenseless.

Brandon forcefully turns me around, placing me in position. I automatically arch the posture of my back, taking my hands to spread my giant ass to show my wet dripping pussy that’s salivating for his erection to be inside me.

“Such a good girl, still obedient like I remember. Tell me what you want” he orders me.

“Fuck me hard please. Take my pussy from me” I say patiently waiting for him to beat my pussy like an Undertaker versus Mankind cage match.

He forces his dick inside my tight wet pussy, moaning hard as he enters. I grip him hard with my pussy as he’s thrusting aggressively in and out of me.

He’s pulsating inside of me as he’s moving. I’m feeling every inch of him as he’s continuing to grow inside of me. Just moving back and forth, harder and harder. I’m moaning so loud and hard, tears in my eyes from how good it feels to have his dick inside me. Holding my breasts as he’s making me take his dick roughly outside where everyone can see.

“Oh my God Dev, you’re gonna make me cum. I’m about to cum. Do you want it in your favorite place?” He says as I scream out “Yes” in reply.

I fall to my knees like a sinner who needs prayer, open my mouth to the heavens and wait for him to bless me. He releases an outpouring of his creaminess all over my face and mouth, as I devour every drop that hits my throat.

He moans as he shakes out every drop til he’s empty. I swallow the rest of him and what’s left of my pride as he kisses me in completion. My pants still around my ankles, he grips my ass holding me in place as he continues to kiss me softly.

I buckle his pants as he helps me with mine. I brush my hand across his face and we embrace each other knowing that he has to go.

“Goodbye Brandon.” I kiss him on the cheek. He walks away silently. Staring back a few times before he’s out of my view.

I said last time would be the last time.

Happy Monday 💋

[sleepynxri]

“In hindsight, I should have looked at the instructions"

A/N: THE DEMO IS FINALLY OUT OMG!! Congrats to the devs and the whole team for releasing the demo!! I love it so much to the point I think I'm the first one to make an x reader of it lol. But I chose my favorite (for now)Vince!! And a certain person might like it as much as I do hehe. I might not get his full personality right since it is still the demo and the characters might change their personalities depending the route you pick on the official release, but do enjoy everyone! And requests will be open until further notice. And of course spoilers for the demo!!

P. S. The reader is demisexual! If you don't know what it is it means a person who feels sexually attracted to someone after creating a close bond with them! It made sense to me since in the demo the mc was a bit rude and judgemental in their thoughts regarding their interactions with the different love interests. But hey! If you don't like it then just ignore this part! Enjoy it however you like hatchlings!

Pairing: Vince Matador x gn! reader

Warnings: curses, no use of Y/N only You/I

What did I get myself into?

A sigh of exhaustion released itself from your mouth as you headed out from the diner where you now currently work at.

Who knew that you had to use the first few weeks of your summer in an unknown town after your car suddenly broke down in the middle of nowhere?

Fuck Fate and itself.

You started on walking around the streets of the said town, it was interesting to say the least. Almost everyone in this vicinity at least knew each other if they were a neighbour or a regular. You felt out of place whenever someone pointed out or asked if you were new around.

The only thing that wavered your mind was the interaction inside Cup o Jo Mama. The new part-time job you’ll be doing until you’re able to pay for both the hostel you were staying in and the repairs of your broken down car. (Srsly how did I should have checked it out before going on a long ass fucking road trip??)

Chris was quite a timid character to have as a co-worker, but I am quite the observing person to see how he changes personalities so directly. It concerns me sometimes but it wasn't my business to get into anyone’s personal lives.

And that Wyatt fellow…. Can’t say that the headlines were wrong about his looks. He was attractive, but his personality is that of a stereotypical rich people lifestyle. It's best to not not meddle myself into his work and business, if he was staying in Brine Bay in the meantime.

Placing your headphones over your ears, you started to tune out the noises, you needed some alone time after all the shit that just happened. Familiarising your steps to avoid on getting lost - (Fuck you btw Dante) again.

Clicking your tongue slightly in annoyance after remembering a certain front desk employee who didn't tell you the actual direction towards the diner you were supposed to go in.

Without you knowing, a familiar sheriff and an unknown male suddenly were seen in the corner of your eyes. Jean looked optimistic as ever, but to your surprise- he was with someone else who looked like the opposite of him.

Why not see what they’re up to?

So… . The guy’s name is Vince. Jean momentarily left you both together to help with the white haired males socialising skills. You didn't mind, but you did feel guilty for forcing him to be with you. So you thanked him for staying with you.

You didn't expect the male to give you a half- smile. It almost caught you off guard. It was so pretty…

You shook your thoughts away and gave your own warm smile. Vince was a nice fellow, since he didn't know what to show you, you suggested that he showed the areas where he likes to stay at. You bonded with him with his different favorite places in Brine Bay. You were touched on how he could trust you to these places. You knew it held something for him to show you these areas.

Then you met Kevin….

You almost laughed loudly after hearing the nickname Vince gave him.

A fucking highlighter? You didn't think the male held so much humor. (Or your humor is just broken)

Kevin was a nice fellow. A bit flirty (then again who isn't? Almost everyone - not Dante- has started flirting with you before you could even muster a response to any of their introductions) but a passionate theatre kid.

‘pre’?? Is that a word or a different language? You’ll probably ask the next time you interact with him.

After saying goodbye to the green haired male. You and Vince were left alone together again. You pointed out how it was getting late so you and him started your way back to your hostel.

“Are you enjoying yourself? “ You paused after hearing Vince’s words. You… didn't expect someone would ask this question towards you. I mean it is technically your first day here after all.

You can feel the stare of Vince from the corner of your face as you racked up an answer for him.

“I… . Can't say much. My car broke down, Jean found me, he drove me here, I met a lot of people, found a part time job… . It's overwhelming to say the least” a flash of worry crossed the eyes of Vince as he tried to find the right words to reply.

But you beat him to it.

" But… I am enjoying it. I never expected to have an adventure while on summer break. It's new…. But not unwelcoming" a chuckle escaped your lips as you watched the sky growing darker.

“That's… . Good to hear” Vince relaxed his shoulders with another pretty smile he has. Your heart flutters after seeing it again. This was the second time you’ve seen it but you already knew you’ll always remember that smile he has.

Exchanging numbers with him was… eventful. It was cute to see him flustered while nervously asking if you wanted his contact number (who wouldn't accept his advances?)

You knew you had to take your chances and placed “Vimpire" as the contact name for Vince. (He’ll probably be disappointed but who’s to say he’ll just chuckle after you have him a silly nickname)

You told him your farewells and headed back to your temporary room. Doing your nightly routine and wearing your night wear.

You decided to call someone before heading off to sleep. The first person that popped up from the idea was Vince.

“Ah.. who is it?"

“You forgot about me already?" You teased slightly with a small chuckle as you looked outside the windows while watching the luminescent sky radiating from them.

“It's you… . I-i didn't expect that you would be calling me already” you wanted to tease him more but you asked him first if he arrived home already. He was still walking from home and you both decided to stay in the call for a while.

“Can I ask… why the sudden call? “

Fuck it.

" Is it bad that I wanted to hear your voice before I head to sleep? “

A pause could be heard from the other line. You grew worried when the call suddenly hung up and you panicked. You tried texting him but he suddenly beat you to it with a call.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I panicked!" A rush of apologies came after you answered the call. It was a relief to hear that you weren't stepping over boundaries and you asked him if everything was alright.

He reassured you, telling you that he just took time to process on what you said before. You couldn't see it but he was smiling on the other side of the phone (if Jean saw this he would be supportive yet teasing the poor boy).

“Hey uhm… if you have time after your shift ends… I could show you more around town? “

You were shocked again after hearing his words. This is the second time you got shocked by this man alone. You wonder what he got plans for you next.

" I would like that” you smiled warmly from the invitation. As you both continued chatting until you both shared your farewells.

You yawned and stretched your body and headed off to sleep.

You hope you can see Vince’s smiling face again.

Threads of You: Beyond the Bay

Lavendeer Studio Discord Server

Disclaimer: I am not part of the Lavendeer Studio team, I'm just placing the links here to whoever wants to play the game or wants to join the server for more updates and upcoming events!!

[sumikatt]

frankly, i think your point about "some people train their own AI art models" is inherently flawed because rhe vast majority of people are not training their own model. they are paying for a service which was trained on art that was taken from the internet and used without permission in order for a machine to try snd recreate something similar bit by bit. i havent gotten a commission from someone who isnt a friend of mine in well over a year because people are just choosing to generate art with AI. i dont think AI art isnt "real" art because yeah, i agree with you, the whole idea of real art or not is complex. however, it is an undeniable reality that AI is trained on the work of artists all over the world who do not even get asked for permission before a tech company makes money off of their hard work.

I agree it’s a small, small portion of people making their own models that ensure that all art involved is used with consent. Many people buy a subscription or credits to generate what they want. Most people probably use free credits on Discord to make a meme or anime girls. Many people use it many different ways, yes.

I’m sorry you’ve lost a client over it. I know commissions are hard. Freelancers without dedicated clients would be the ones to suffer most from the popularity of AI art. I can’t say I’ve felt the impact myself, since it’s also very popular to be anti-AI.

Actively searching through job boards, I also feel like it has barely affected those listings. Maybe one of like 300 art jobs in the USA/Sweden asked for AI experience (Prompt Artist), and it was an AI startup. The “normal” art jobs like UI/UX, Environments, Materials, Concept, Technical, Animator, etc all still asking for 3 years experience for entry level lmao. Saw an intern position that required an “industry-standard” portfolio. So still a pain as it was before advanced AI gen.

Many paid AI art services have takedown options for their training sets and can block names from being prompted. If you were a popular enough artist to be in a training set, you can remove it and block the majority of AI art users from copying you—like you said, a majority of people use these services instead of self-hosting.

(Sending DMCA takedown requests are actually pretty easy. I had to send one to an old teacher who reposted my art and a bunch of classmates’ art on her ArtStation. that was funny lol)

I’m not sure how I felt when I went to search up my art on haveibeentrained. Because I’m a nerd, I’d preemptively blocked scrapers on my portfolio, so nothing was there when I looked. Searched up my legal name, my old Twitter (which had some popular pieces), my old DeviantArt usernames. Nothing there, either. I was probably pruned from the set for being low-quality. Kinda funny, I thought I’d be good enough to include at least once. Maybe next time.

.safetensors / .ckpt files (which are the models Stable Diffusion runs) have no image data in them, by the way. It is all math and numbers in there. There is no way of telling what was included in the training set, unless the dev(s) that made the model release it publicly. The models themselves are usually around 3–6 GB, though there’s larger ones and mini ones.

Like my own silly brain, there’s no way of tracking down the exact art pieces the software was referencing off of when it generates something. Am I making money off of another artist’s hard work when I remember how to draw heads from a Proko video? Am I ripping off photographers when I recall their pictures when drawing my characters? I’m not a tech company, but I still make money off of the things I copy and filter through my mind and hand.

I’m rambling at this point, sorry. Of course, the core issue is capitalism. How different would people see this medium if money were not an issue? How futuristic, how exciting it is to visualize something from words alone. It’s that art machine I’d always wanted as a kid, where I think of something and it pops out on the page finished.

I think it is worth to uplift those who use the medium as ethically as they can, as @are-we-art-yet is doing—having a do-not-use artist list, avoiding corporations, don’t try to undercut traditional artists. Like with any medium, there’s a variety of artists. Some are nice and do their best to have a good impact, some don’t care at all about the ethics of their art.

I’m still pretty firmly a “traditional” artist. I won’t stop drawing or give up because of AI. I play with AI on my own hardware and power for fun and for getting ideas (is that stealing?). It’s mostly replaced scrolling through Pinterest for me, but I still save people’s art and photos that I like in my computer, so I can look at em later, maybe get inspired. And steal like an artist, I guess.

[possamble]

Question to a fanfic writer: do you think that, in Marcille’s research ways *And* her love for romance novels… would result in her writing some in-universe fanfics of her own? Like, maybe she hypes herself up on something and get disappointed, or maybe she finds some character decision isn’t as ideal as she thinks it could be? Or it’s as simple as she wants to play around with the characters and see what happens?

I can’t help but imagine a scenario where she’s struggling with some romantic trouble irl and she’s struggling with deciding on what to do, but then the answer slaps itself upside her head when she rediscovers her fanfics and how she LITERALLY made a character or two do the exact romantic decision she needs to do? It would so silly but yet I can’t help but find it so charming. Hell, just the imagery of her writing romance fanfics of her own At All is just… delightful to me hehehe.

you know I've been rotating this in my head since I saw it this morning and. I went through a wild journey of opinions before I realized... Marcille wouldn't think about fanfiction like we think about it. In the modern age, yeah, she'd be a complete tumblrina -- but we're talking about a 17th century-ish fantasy setting.

Writing before the digital age was a physical commitment to investing ink and paper into your thoughts -- and this is even before mass production can make pens and notebooks kind of whatever to buy and use on a regular basis. I'm sure the situation wasn't dire, but I really can't see Marcille, perfect honor student, using her allotted supply of stationery at the academy on super frivolous things.

Fanfiction has been normalized incredibly fast in the past few decades. Think about now normal and popular D&D is nowadays compared to how much people looked down on it 20-30 years ago. Fanfiction was a freakass nerd thing to do until relatively recent history, something that was even considered offensive to the original creators.

Remember, we've already seen Marcille react to adaptations with disgust. She's kind of a hater and an elitist fan. She also considers herself a Reputable Academic. In a setting where a digitized culture hasn't reframed fanfiction as an act of appreciation and creativity, she would absoluuuuuuuutely think that fanfiction was complete loser shit.

If she did write anything about her favourite books... She'd. She'd be one of those assholes who writes huge scathing reviews of Dal Clan translations into Common. She'd be the fantasy equivalent of those Weebs/Japanese elitists on twitter tearing through every single localization choice in anime and JRPGs and being so so annoying about it.

If we're being charitable, we could say she'd be able to appreciate non-faithful translation choices that still do a good job of carrying over the original spirit of what was said. But I think we also have to acknowledge the possibility that, at her worst, she'd really really be like those guys who were malding about the Unicorn Overlord localizations so hard the (correction: Final Fantasy Tactics Creator, not the Unicorn Overlord devs) had to step forward and ratio them. (The silver lining is that she'd never get published in the arts review newspapers/journals that she submits her essays to. those poor editors just have to deal with her being persistent.)

[dragonflight203]

Mass Effect 2 replay, squad post Mordin:

Jacob

-Jacob gets the armor upgrade for the Normandy by pulling favors with the Alliance. And now we know why TIM recruited him.

-Talking to Jacob as femshep is hard. Any line can be a flirtation – paragon, renegade, neutral.

The worst part is that Jacob doesn’t seem interested. Any time you flirt, he shuts you down. At least in ME1 Ashley and Kaidan returned the interest.

-I find it interesting people dislike Jacob because he doesn’t open up. As someone who normally remains professional myself at work, that’s never bothered me.

That’s the same vibe I get from Jacob – friendly, attempting to be helpful, but maintaining boundaries to keep personal and professional life separate.

-I do disagree with Jacob’s stance on politics and bureaucracy. He seems convinced in every conversation for the Alliance to do good because it engages them.

Dude was a corsair working for the Alliance unofficially and still complained that there was too much red tape.

Meanwhile, I’m looking at Omega and remembering the “rogue cells” of Cerberus from ME1 and wondering how he can not see the value in oversight and power checks.

-Why was Jacob sidelined after Eden Prime? He says this like it’s an obvious fact and I can’t recall if he ever told me what he had to do with the colony.

-If you go renegade, one of Jacob’s line is that the “General public never knew you were dead”. What?

There are news announcements on the Citadel dead about how the deceased Commander Shepard has been seen on Omega. There’s a memorial on Akuze to Shepard.

I’m going to credit this as a left over line when the plot of ME2 was different, but it’s very weird.

-If you go paragon, one of Shepard’s lines is “Couldn’t hurt to keep some spare parts handy.”

Given that we learn Ceberus had a clone for that exact purpose in ME3… Oof.

Mordin

-Mordin tells you all about how he found bugs all over the labs. Another reminder that Shepard is constantly being watched.

-He tells you to find more collector data and tissue samples.

I think at one point there would be a main mission related to that.

As others have noted, an insect from a collector swarm miraculously appears on the ship when Mordin tells you he found a cure. This line was probably supposed to be foreshadowing of the mission that would have collected the insect.

-Mordin really enjoys a challenge. Describing the limitations he had to work with on Omega reminds me of devs describing the challenges they had in developing a program.

-At this point Mordin only speaks about krogans hypothetically overcoming the genophage, and that his work with the STG was just to prepare militarily for it. He doesn’t trust Shepard enough yet to describe his real work.

-He is very insistent that the genophage is not a sterility plague. It just restores the krogan growth rate to what it was pre industry.

Miranda

-As opposed to Jacob, as soon as Miranda gets the slightest hint of friendliness she opens up.

I think this has more to do with their backgrounds than their characters. Jacob’s spent time in the Alliance where professionalism is expected. He knows he’s working with a sketchy group and is accordingly wary.

Miranda’s accustomed to being treated poorly. She whole heartedly believes in Cerberus and its cause. She tells Shepard her past almost as if she feels the need to make sure Shepard knows what she really is before she can accept Shepard’s friendship. She wants Shepard’s respect, but doesn’t think she deserves it.

Ironically, I suppose the reason Jacob’s more closed off is because he has a higher sense of self worth than Miranda does. He doesn’t feel the need to be validated by Shepard.

-As others have said: One successful mission and Miranda is saying that this is the best Cerberus operation she’s been part of.

That does not speak well of Cerberus.

-Whether you go paragon or renegade, Miranda doesn’t hesitate to remind you that TIM’s in charge. She has quite a journey to go before she’ll be ready to tell him to fuck off.

-Why did Miranda’s father want a daughter for dynasty?

Usually that type specifically want sons.

Every reason I can think of makes the man worse and explains why Miranda is so careful in how she speaks about him and insistent on why she had to get her sister away.

[thewatercolours]

PART TWO - Replaying King's Quest, Chapter Two (2015)

It really is beautiful in the rain though. I love the unevenness of the cobbles so that rain pools in lovely puddles. The way the water comes down in sheets off the rooves.

No tapestries on the walls of the hallway leading to Grandpa’s room. Hm – a good Watsonian reason might be that the tapestries are traditionally hung in respect for a deceased king (sob.)

Triumph balloon! (Assuming it’s a balloon, and not a pinata? That would be… weird.)

Balloons with seams in them,

“Does it have a dragon?” (Graham, thinking: “Um, well, technically yes! For about a minute. And if we count my PTSD flashbacks, We can add an extra 30 seconds.) Aloud: “It miiiiiight!”

The “Rapid Escape” theme played on the low, low keys of the piano. Yesssss.

The way Graham just looks gobsmacked by the sight of the goblin king. All he can do is stare, wide eyed.

That goblin that took Graham’s hat must be in high demand for fairy tale re-enactments. His impression of Graham’s jog is spot on.

Graham tries to get respect by assuming the deep voice again. How much have you been been doing that since you ascended the throne, young sir? And has it ever worked?

What?? You can see Graham walking around I the dark cell if your screen is bright enough, not just the ripples? I did not know this! Oh – and now I can’t. Must be a one shot thing.

I remember when I first played and all the salamanders started lighting up I thought for sure we were going to see the dragon fully revealed. A tense moment it was. I had to mentally adjust.

Who would have thought Graham’s cell would be one of the most glittery locations of them all? (It’s luminescent mushroom spores.)

Some hospitable little goblin set him up with a bouquet and a placemat. Good on him.

So many good idling animations for Graham when he’s at 1 health.

The devs really said, “WAIT – we’re the literal people making the game. This angst fic full of stress, and facing your fears, and maturing in the face of terror could be… canon!! We can do ALL the emotions!!”

Mr. Fancycakes’ reputation precedes him. The goblins clearly knew that of all the captives, he was the one who had to be most brutally chained up.

Christopher Lloyd at the end of a sixteen hour recording session: “I didn’t understand much Goblinese, but I think they wanted me to clean up all the webs.”

[abbatoirablaze]

The Nanny, Chapter 6

Word Count:  1.5k

Warnings:  smut, angst, unprotected sex.

“See, I told you everything would work out,” you cooed when both you and Jake picked up Alex later that afternoon.  Alex giggled, wrapping his arms around you with a relieved, but excited vigor.  Jake’s heart felt like it was going to burst through his chest as he watched the two of you interact with one another, “how was your first day, buddy?”

“It was soo good mommy! I made all kinds of friends!” he said in a bubbly tone as he hung onto you, “you and daddy were right!”

“Did you?” Jake asked, “how many friends did you make?”

“Uh huh!  I made all kinds.  Bajillions of them,” he smiled widely, “I can’t wait to come back tomorrow and the day after and the day after that!”

“Well, that’s just amazing,” you offered, “how about we go celebrate with ice cream?”

The little boy’s eyes widened as he looked at his father, “we can get ice cream, daddy?  Really?  We can go now?”

“Oh yeah bud…but you can’t tell sissy because we’re gonna get it while she’s in school.”

“Okay! DEAL!”

“Come on mommy,” Jake teased lightly.  He caught how you looked at him, your eyes blowing with lust as he wrapped an arm around your waist and led you to the car, “let’s go get some ice cream.”

Jake bit his lip as the door closed to his son’s bedroom.  It had been a picture perfect day with you, and he knew that there was going to be a ‘not so happy’ ending later.

Your eyes widened as you shot him a look, “So this is it…”

“We still have tonight…”

Wh-what do you mean, Jake?”

“You know what I mean, baby…it’s happening…”

“But Jake…we just-you can’t,” you all but whimpered, your gaze immediately going to Alex, who had run up to his older sister and was chattering excitedly about how you and Jake had taken him out for breakfast in celebration for his first day at school, “the kids….they-“

“Don’t know…”

He watched as the tears made your eyes appear glassy.  Your lip quivered, “y-you’re not going to tell them…are you?”

“I think we all just need one perfect day….together baby…” he whispered sadly, his own gaze leaving that of his girlfriend momentarily to see his children excitedly running back to him.  He gave you a pleading look, “don’t tell them baby…”

“Jake…th-this isn’t fair to them….the-they need to know.”

“Please…”   

His heart ached as you gave him a sad look.  The two of you had talked about it while the kids were at school, and you weren’t looking forward to it.  Jake was given his first mission back with The Losers, and you were sick to your stomach.  Somehow you thought that the two of you would have more time before he left, “I-in the morning-“

“Jake…we don’t have to talk about it right now…”

“They’re going to be upset,” he said quickly, shaking his head.  The two of you had ignored it, choosing random times throughout the day when the children were preoccupied and not paying attention to either of you.  But it seemed like every time one of you was ready to discuss it the other hadn’t been; and so the back and forth had continued through into the evening, “I-I just want to make sure that we know what we’re telling them.”

“I know.”

“Make sure they know I stood here after I found out…” he asked in a pleading tone, “I mean, I know that I found out a few days ago…but just…m-make sure that they know that I didn’t just abandon them.  Tell them how we stood here until they fell asleep and then some…tell the-“

“They know that you love them, Jake,” you whispered gently as you went up to him.  He melted into your hand as you caressed his cheek, and his hands reached out until they wrapped around your waist.  Jake didn’t want to admit it, but leaving felt so much harder this time around, “they’ll understand…”

“Briana will…but Alex is too little…” Jake sighed, “I don’t want him thinking I abandoned him.  I-I remember what it was like for Briana after she realized I was her dad and then just left.  She-she was devastated…Dev tried to send me pictures and videos, but half the time she would have this sadness in her eyes.  I remember one time when she sent me the video announcement where she’d found out Alex was going to be a boy…Briana broke down, saying she missed me…she was his age.  I know he's going to feel the same way that she did.  I-I don’t want either of them thinking that I don’t love them!”

“I’m sure he won’t think that, Jake,” you offered in your best reassuring tone, “they know that you love them, just like they know that you were going back to saving the world with your military group.  They know that you were going to start taking missions after school started.”

“But this is the first day of school,” he muttered sadly, “tomorrow, they’ll wake up expecting me to be in the kitchen, helping make their breakfast, and I’ll be on a plane halfway around the world.  They didn’t expect for that to be happening, baby.”

“They’ll understand, Jake,” you tried again before pressing your lips to his, “just make sure that you come back to us…we want you to come back to us.”

“Always…”

“I-I love you, Jake…”

Jake’s breath caught in his throat, and he looked at you.  You looked like you were going to cry, and it broke his heart.  The full weight of what he was leaving behind had hit him earlier, when he thought about how the kids would feel, but he never wanted you to feel abandoned.  He hadn’t taken into consideration just how it might affect you.  He didn’t want to be the reason that you were upset, “Baby…don’t be sad..”

“I-Just…”

“I love you too,” Jake whispered, as he brushed some of the hair from your face, only to pull your face gently to his one more time so that he could kiss you again, “I love you and our babies…and I’m coming back to the three of you…and there’s not a thing in this world that can stop that.”

“I’m scared…”

“I know baby,” he sighed, “I’m scared too.”

“I-I don’t know what I’ll do if anything happened to you.”

“I’ll come back!” he promised yet again, “nothing can stop me from coming back to you and the kids, baby.”

“Can’t you just stay with us forever?”

“We both know that can’t happen,” he frowned, shaking his head, “you take care of our kids…and I’ll keep a roof over your heads.  I’ll be thinking of the three of you every single day, dreaming of when I get to come home and be with all of you.”

“Jake…what if something happens?”

He frowned.  He didn’t want you having to think about it, but there was a plan set up in place if something did go sideways, “Nothing will happen.”

“But Jake…”

“You and the kids will be taken care of, baby…”

“Jake…”

“Don’t worry about it baby,” he assured you gently, “I don’t want you to worry about anything.”

“I’m worried about you.”

“You’re always worried about me though.”

You sighed, and he picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist, “Jake…what are you doing?”

“Going to show my favorite girl why she has nothing to worry about…”

“Jake, fucking me silly isn’t going to solve everything!”

“Isn’t it?” he smiled, sending her a teasing wink, “because I can think of a few things that it’ll solve.”

You gasped, the breath leaving your body as Jake’s heavy cock dragged against your inner walls.  You fingers tangled in his hair, and you tugged hard on it.  He growled at you and his hips bucked. Your eyes fluttered closed as he hit the same spot again and again, driving you wild. 

When your eyes opened, you saw how he was looking at you.

How he was memorizing every part of your body.  He wasn’t just fucking you with reckless abandon, he was making love to you like he might possibly never see you again.  

Your eyes rolled back into your head as his cock nudged your cervix, “JAKE!”

He groaned as your lips captured his.  Your leg wrapped around him, your heel digging into his ass as you kept him pressed as deep as he could go.  You felt his chest tighten against yours, and his hips bucked out of rhythm, “FUCK!  Oh god.  Take it all, baby.  Take it all!”

Your eyes opened and you frowned as your hand hit the empty mattress beside you.  Your heart dropped a little, knowing that at some point in the night he’d managed to sneak out of the house without so much as saying goodbye. 

And you thought back to the look that he’d had in his eyes, your heart racing as you wondered if he knew something that you didn’t.

And you prayed that he would come back home safe and sound.

Chapter 7

Tag List:  @lohnes16, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @sebsgirl71749, @patzammit

[rumbleonthemill]

I want to address this issue, and I want to write my thoughts about it (it’s my page after all) It’s the old story: people shitting on Hello Neighbor, despite all they know is misinformation and lies. Nothing more.

…

I’ve been subbed to Markiplier for 9 years, if not more. He was the first and only youtuber I began watching, when this whole youtube thing became big. I remember watching him during university years, whenever I felt down, whenever I was happy. and after university too. And for long, I watched nobody else, but him.

…

He has a recent video, which you find here: https://youtu.be/tkREzi3IL7M I’m going to ignore the fact that they probably paid for a traced art for the thumbnail, this is another topic, but holy fuck. Ew. Okay, so this video went out recently, for nobody’s surprise, it is full of misinformation and gossips, and that’s HN for Mark and his friends.

This video…this video goes against one single rule, which sane people keep: “don’t like? Ignore”

I have a shitton of things I dislike. Heck, I even have things about Mark I dislike, but I have no right to change him, nor to criticize him. I skip the disliked things. But what does Markiplier do?

Nothing special. He does what every “fnaf youtuber” does nowadays: kicks into a game that is already laying on the ground. This doesn’t only mean a kick in the game, and the developers, who are probably the nicest people I’ve ever met. I love them. (And no, they didn’t beg to fucking matpat, whose HN theories are WRONG, it is marketing category, not development, and matpat himself does tag people multiple times, so find another cringe excuse to shit on us) God save us, the developers are not equal to the producer/publisher, who is responsible for the marketing part. Tinybuild is ONLY the publisher of HN, the game was created by Dynamic Pixels(now Eerie Guest Studios) who were five people in an office during that time. Five. Their first pc game.

This doesn’t only affect the devs, or the publisher. Believe or not (I don’t give a shit if you don’t) the FANS of the game also receive hate and actual death threats - because they’re fans! You read it correctly, I’m being harassed and sent death threats, made fun of, people wish my DEATH, because I’m thinking DIFFERENTLY. I word my comments fairly and trying to encourage people to not instantly hate something and try it for real - useless. Makes me think, where is the brain level of those shitting people. If I, a random person, despite hearing a lot of bad things, could try HN on my own and experience it, while my forming MY OWN opinion, then why can’t others?!

I like something they know nothing about, but the xy famous youtuber said, it is bad, so it must be bad, right?!

…

Absolutely fucking not. I’m tired of mob mentality and people shitting on things they have no real knowledge NOR REAL INTEREST about. I wrote my personal story about Mark, because I’ve been his faithful fan for years, watching his videos, saying “hey, Mark disliked HN and I’m okay with it. I wouldn’t want him to play with something he dislikes. At least he won’t shit on HN this way.” BUT HE FUCKING DOES. I don’t care that I’m one of the million fans of his, that he doesn’t care if he loses one. I’m aware.

But as a 30 something GROWN adult man, he should think and be aware of the consequences of his words. It was so fucking unnecessary to shit on something he has no interest in, nor knows anything about.

DONT LIKE? IGNORE. SCROLL PAST. or say “I’m not interested” and people with brain will perfectly accept and understand. It’s this simple.

(And no. Idc if Mark is famous. He is a human being, a man like many others. I treat him like a normal person. His opinions are as equal as everyone else’s, those opinions just have insane consequences which make people attack others. Shit on others, harm people they don’t even know.)

all I want is peace and people minding their own business, especially if they don’t care about something.

[fantasyinvader]

I think there’s some real feminism at the core of Houses, at least in the Japanese version.

Remember how in the Nintendo Dream interview the creators said that Edelgard’s depth came from the fact she was both a cute girl and a conqueror? I think that’s the core thing here. We are meant to see her as both, not just one or the other. The cute girl parts are meant to draw us in so her actions as the conqueror come as a shock to players, but at the same time those bits are meant to show she’s not some flat villain.

She’s still the bad guy here, but she’s meant to be sympathetic due to how TWSITD are exploiting her. Meanwhile, no matter how much IS panders to audiences using her as waifu-bait, we are meant to view her on her actions and beliefs.

Like Ferdie says at the end of SS/VW, she’ll get what she wants with the next ruler of Fodlan being one of merit not birth, the problem was what Edelgard viewed as merit (and methods, can’t forget the methods). After all, Dimitri’s merit over Edelgard is his Oudou to her Hadou, his benevolent rule that serves the people over her tyrannical rule where the people exist to serve her. Not to mention, straying from Wilhelm’s definition of knowledge-based merit where leaders protect their people to one based around coveting strength and oppressing those beneath you is also meant to represent the Empire’s fall to Hadou.

Edelgard is a female character whose objectification may draw people in, but we’re meant to see past that. We’re meant to see past that, to see the depth the devs bring up as well as the trick they wanted to play on the players.

Even Edelgard’s crush can be seen as problematic. No matter how she feels about Byleth, fact is she lied to and tried to manipulate them into serving her. If Byleth does not teach her, she’ll still talk about how fighting them makes her weak despite the lack of interactions between them (aside from her appearances as the Flame Emperor) and calling Byleth her teacher during her death in VW. No matter how you slice it, this is not a healthy relationship and joining Edelgard goes against Byleth’s character arc so it’s ultimately toxic to Byleth. Edelgard “loves” Byleth despite not even knowing them, treating Byleth and the player as her husbando/waifu.

I think, however, that what Treehouse did made her problematic. They took Edelgard and changed things. A number of endings associated with CF were changed, especially the main ending to CF itself, to make her rule look more benevolent. We have changes in the text to make the Church look worse, while parts associated with the game’s Buddhist symbolism were watered down. That she wasn’t going to steal the Crest Stones to make people into monsters, she was going to destroy them because she views them as a poison, and talk of her information campaign was removed. Edge of Dawn links the flower to a red rose rather than the intended safflower, which holds vastly different meanings.

It tries to make the game more grey, but you have to ask yourselves why. Did Treehouse do this because they thought people would be upset if they joined Edelgard only to find they’re playing a villain route, or did they do it because they didn’t want the female lord to be the villain? That they took a look at who she was and what she does, diluting those things in order to make her more acceptable despite, you know, how Edelgard is still an unapologetic imperialist intent on mowing down everyone who doesn’t bend the knee?

Treehouse looked at Edelgard and changed her to suit their beliefs...and that still wasn’t enough considering how her fans take it ever further. As I’ve said before, no one hates Edelgard more than her own fanbase.

[raxistaicho]

But what IS a path of thorns, when you get right down to it?

I’ve been lazy of late. So here’s another Fantasy Invader post :D

I’m making my own path of thorns, folks.

Ah, yes. The guy who screams Buddhist symbolism as hard as he can is talking about Christianity now.

Oohhh, are we getting another “AYMR BAD CUZ DEVIL ARCANA BAD ‘CUZ DEVIL!” take again? :D

And yes, Crimson Flower is a path of thorns because it’s the most dangerous and uncertain path.

See? The game even calls it a path of thorns!

Now FI probably knew that one, but I’m still laughing my ass off at the mental image of him thinking he came up with that on his own and just patting himself on the back for his symbolism decoding genius.

Anyways, he’s talking about Proverbs 15:19.

The way of the lazy man is like a hedge of thorns, But the way of the upright is a highway.

a. The way of the lazy man is like a hedge of thorns: Those who are lazy may not see it in themselves. Often, they may more easily see the result of their laziness, which is a life filled with constant trouble and irritations (like a hedge of thorns).

b. The way of the upright is a highway: The wise man or woman – upright and hardworking before the LORD – does not know the same constant troubles and irritations of life that the lazy man must endure. Life for the upright is much smoother and more efficient in its progress. 

Remember that.

But... how. Who’s being lazy? Crimson Flower is the path you have to work to get into. Silver Snow is the default path.

I think FI’s right, I remember something to that effect. Also I’d just like to posit that removing Edelgard is not what makes Silver Snow harder. What actually makes it harder is that Edelgard takes her deployment slot with her and Silver Snow’s endgame chapter is genuinely fucking atrocious.

Also, Silver Snow is harder on the player, but it’s Byleth who supposedly is taking the lazy route, so it should be Byleth who feels the pain (though I think it would be harder on them too since they don’t want to fight Edelgard, as you can constantly have them say throughout the route, only for Seteth to tell you to be quiet and do what you’re destined to do).

But anyways, how does the righteous path (SS according to FI) being the harder route mesh with the righteous path being straight and clear, like a highway, as the Bible verse says?

So yeah, like I said. Shouldn’t the supposed unrighteous route not be the easier one? Shouldn’t it be as a hedge of thorns, like the Bible verse says?

So yeah, if it isn’t already obvious, Fantasy Invader was just talking out of his ass. He can’t make Silver Snow being the straight and clear route of righteousness with Silver Snow also being the tougher route, as the devs intended, so, whether by deception or incompetence, just chose to ignore what Proverbs 15:19 says to suit his narrative.

Oh okay, so we’re back to Buddhism now. Then again, Fantasy Invader was kinda butchering his Christianity analysis so he might as well retreat to more familiar (but tragically just as incorrect) ground.

Also, this is as good a time as any to copy-paste one of CaptainFlash’s brilliant reads on what Nirvana truly symbolizes in Three Houses:

I think in the same way that this game is very critical of some aspects of Christianity, it is very critical of Buddhist theology. Particularly the idea of attachment. Attachment in Buddhism is bad, and individualistic and leads to suffering. Each of the lords is kind of unselfish in their goals-El gives up her humanity for her dream, Dimitri is trying to appease the dead instead of living, and Claude has given up human connection for his ambition. They only become their best selves when they have the selfish little human moments we see in their routes. Byleth becomes a human when she spends time around her students, but a “wandering flame” in SS because they rejected human connection. In Buddhism, the cessation of the human flame (attachment) is a metaphor for Nirvana, and I think you can see why this adds resonance to the “Flame Emperor” trying to create a world “for humanity” 

And as I said in my reply to Buddhism anon,

How is killing Rhea in that context a bad thing? By that point, Rhea's fallen so far into paranoia and madness that she'd rather set Fhirdiad on fire, killing every man, woman, and child living inside it, rather than accept a peaceful surrender.

Also, Byleth does not lose divine favor or whatever by killing Rhea: they are still capable of S-support Sothis (the scene even has a specific provision for Crimson Flower) during which Sothis reaffirms her adoration for Byleth.

Crimson Flower is the only route in which Byleth embraces their humanity, as Sothis told them to in the opening minutes of the game.

I gotta say, it’s damn nice to get back into cross-eyed analysis with Fantasy Invader. It’s so much better than weathering his furious screeching about Edelgard.

[blue-flare10]

thanks for answering my ask, was very helpful and insightful!

i think i've seen some people just blow it out too much from proportion because Leon was "touching" and holding hands at one point with Ashley when she came to. and immediately thought that these are purely romantic gestures. Then proceeded to claim how this is the right way to read it as it's what canon shows? i mean it's not it, it's just reading too much into it and overanalyzing every single detail that probably even Capcom hasn't thought about in the first place.

I don't care what people wanna ship, but to constantly diminish others that disagree there was anything remotely romantic here is alarming to me, especially when they accuse people of alabama and incestious behaviour because "Leon was obviously flirting with Ashley" like c'mon. AND to add how they reject what the devs intended. Another thing comes to mind is when someone was convinced that Leon was hitting on Ashley because he said "seems like it's not your first time running from creeps" as his poor attempt to flirt and call her hot, like what?? or the "Good company" line from him.

I dunno, i generally don't ship characters either and it is clear to me that you need to have some sort of rose tinted glasses in order to twist the actual narrative but i digress.

I completely agree with you, anon. I’ve been saying this for years, haha. The truth is, if people want to see a relationship as romantic then they will do everything in their power to see it as romantic. They look for things that confirm their own views, even if it means twisting the narrative. Two characters physically touching each other? They’re in love. Two characters looking at each other? They’re in love. Hell, even when two characters despise each other people will still try to claim that there’s sexual tension between them. As someone who was never really into romance, I can’t say I understand the appeal. I don’t understand why every single character absolutely needs to be in a relationship.

I remember seeing a post like that a little while ago. It’s probably the same exact one you’re referring to. Yeah, that whole thing is…a bit of a stretch. I don’t see how “Seems it’s not your first time running away from creeps” translates to “You must be used to people hounding you because you’re attractive”.

And sure, if people want to ship them then it’s whatever. Obviously they’re allowed to do so, but it is frustrating when people twist things to fit their own narrative and then act like you’re the one who’s in the wrong for not seeing the relationship as romantic and completely ignore you when you point out that the devs intended for the dynamic to be platonic. However, at the end of the day, regardless of what they choose to believe, the narrative doesn’t suddenly change just because they want it to. Canonically speaking, Leon and Ashley have a platonic relationship and nothing will change that.

[ziracona]

TLDR at the bottom, as I know this became very long. My apologies.

I would really like to clarify first that I am not arguing with you or attempting to make you like her and am just attempting to explain my stance since you seemed confused about specifically this: as someone who is very solidly for mage rights in the Dragon Age games and also really likes Vivienne, I do think you overestimate how many fans she has? Which is completely understandable as fandom has cooled a little bit in the last few years, which means there’s less discourse posts floating around, but it used to be that if I found Vivienne content it was vitriolic towards her—she has a canonical Ao3 tag labeled “Vivienne (Dragon Age) Is A Bitch” for example.

We’re not prone to criticizing her character on the regular because she already gets a lot of it, on about the same level as Anders (whom I also am very fond of) and most of it has already been said before.

For examples though, her arguments about mages are genuinely infuriating and make little sense.

She is fantastically racist in the game, which is also very frustrating, though to be fair to her, I’m having trouble thinking of a companion who isn’t at some point or another without ability to correct them (Dorian supporting slavery and his “elven harpy” comment towards, Cole’s “Never trust half an elf” comment which is bad regardless of if they were intending it to be about Michel, Solas and Sera’s everything unfortunately, etc. all come to mind.) Maybe Bull, Leliana, or Josie? I can’t remember them being so off the top of my head.

These things do suck and most Vivienne fans (except for a few, but typically fans who support the fantasy Catholic Church aren’t going to be the type of fans who will bother caring about a Black woman—they’ll usually go for Cullen, the white straight man who is anti-mage and who the narrative actually cares about) are very aware of her flaws, but generally we think it was a very stupid idea to have the first Black companion (that they will actually admit to being Black anyway, unlike Isabela who got whitewashed and Morrigan and Cole, who never really have the fact that they are mixed Black acknowledged or shown in the games) support the oppressive system and use her as a mouthpiece for a conservative agenda.

(Using characters as a mouthpiece for whatever agenda the devs are trying to push with little regard to their actual characters is a very common thing in Inqusition—ex. at one point they have Cole say Cullen was a “good Templar who remembered the mages are people” when Cullen literally has a line in 2 saying “Mages aren’t people like you and me.” which is a direct quote from him, and even though Cole should by all rights be terrified by Cullen. Also, all of Varric’s Inquisition characterization.)

I mean, her companion quest is just there to have you distrust her briefly (the quest is named after a classic villain line and the youth potion paper) before “surprising” the player with the the fact that she… has layers? Cares about someone? Which is so… incredibly stupid on the Dev’s parts for a variety of reasons that if I talk about now I will start getting genuinely angry over.

I also think she has some very redeeming qualities. I personally found that she was very compassionate towards an Inquisitor she was friends with. It doesn’t stop her from being opportunistic, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing necessarily. I think this bit specifically is probably something we won’t agree on however, since we have very different readings on these moments, so I’m going keep it at that.

None of this is meant to convince you to like her at all, but I wanted to explain my perspective in doing so since you seemed confused about it.

TLDR: I, and many other pro-mage Vivienne fans, are aware of her flaws, but we think that was a terrible writing decision and do see several redeemable qualities in her character. None of this is meant to sway you in your dislike of her, but I wanted to explain my perspective since you said you didn’t understand how someone could like Vivienne and be pro-mage.

(P.S. I am very sorry if any of this comes off as condescending or if this was completely unwelcome. I’m autistic and have a hard time with tone, both reading it and delivering it. I’m working on it, but I’m still not good at tone over text.)

I. I understand all of this. I’ve criticized the fact they made the first black companion a huge bitch and a bigot against her own kind from the second it became clear that was her personality? But her being the first black companion also doesn’t innately make her a good character. Being a minority doesn’t make what a character does automatically ok or less bad, and idealization is dehumanization as much as villainizing is. It makes BioWare’s writers and their decisions gross, and their agenda gross, any anyone who uses her sucking as an excuse to be racist or disproportionately hateful to only the black companion horrible, but it at the same time doesn’t just…make her good, or ok.

She’s written stupidly, but the character they made is a bigot given no real character growth who tries to ruin the advances for mage rights even if you put forth the best possible outcomes (Lelianna Divine, allied Mages) and befriended Vivienne. She straight sucks. She does. She is a bad, selfish, emotionally manipulative person with no empathy for those of her kind less privileged than her, and a species traitor. (Or whatever? Can’t think of a better thing to categorize Mages as. Class??) It’s not like I only complain about her. I’ve been just as liberal complaining about Doriana and Sera and every other fucked up choice the Devs made. If you’ve seen anything I posted the past week, you’ve probably seen me having a meltdown over how utterly unsalvagable Inquisition is as a game. As for Viv herself, she’s not devoid of good qualities. She’ll be nice if she’s your friend, you’re right, but you have to be kind of terrible to befriend her at all, and so? So is everyone on the planet. That’s what fair weather friends /are/. But beyond that, yeah. She’s not all evil. She cared about the guy she was mistress to. She’s not a monster. But she high key is a terrible person and sucks. You’re right, the devs making her quest a quote from the Queen from Snow White of all things, to encourage a player to lie to her, is fucked up. So is literally everything they did to her. So is how they treated Bull, and Dorian, and Sera, and all kinds of things. But that doesn’t make the character good.

From your own description, you don’t actually like canon Vivienne. You like the HC version you rewrote in your head. And that’s fair, and it’s a fair way to say fuck you to the devs—I do the same with Solas. But you’ll never see me not absolutely accusing the shit out of canon end game Trespasser Solas—he’s a racial supremacist genocide intellectual dude bro, which is a horrific choice for the devs to make esp considering his preTrespasser characterization, but that’s still what he was. I can ignore that and make my HCs, but I’m not going to pretend canon wasn’t what it is. It was. And I wasn’t complaining I see alternate takes on Vivienne, but that I see people talk about Canon Viv like she’s a girlboss while claiming to be pro mage, and those things just concretely do not and cannot go together. And that complaint absolutely stands. It’s cool and even good to hc and rewrite her as a different person. But that’s not canon Viv anymore then, it’s an OC that should have been in the game.

[arthoure]

I guess with twitter falling apart, the logical step is to move back to tumblr, but I struggle with what to even post! 

Twitter is kind of the LinkedIn of game dev, for casual networking and commiserating about the seven hells of the industry, so it made sense for me to be there to make my little jokes and yell about unions. It’s also more mobile-friendly, so I could post cat pics and be on my way without a fuss. And I always used Tumblr more for fandom meta stuff, which isn’t something I really do anymore because being a narrative designer kind of changes how you engage with fandom and meta -- it starts to feel like your day job instead of your fun hobby, at least in some senses, or it uses the same type of brain energy and at the end of work you’re depleted. And it’s weird to be able to see the seams of games, and have a sense of where their budgeting and schedules and tech restraints were, in a way that completely changes your idea of what “good” is or what something “accomplished” and doesn’t always line up with the ideas of other players. It’s not a good or a bad thing, just different. I read books differently now than I used to, too. (Part of this is also about growing older and developing new neural pathways. Weird shit.) It’s interesting to think about how fandom got me into game dev (literally; the first writing sample that got me hired was fe13 fanfic with the names changed -- but also very directly through the support of the friends who read my writing for years ((often making it better with our discussions)) and encouraged me to apply and etc.) and yet game dev is kind of what keeps me from being in fandom (at least deeply). 

So I kind of had two different networks -- the twitter one of friends plus game dev peers, and the tumblr one of friends plus fandom peers, the latter of whom followed me basically for meta/fanfic/the stuff I reblogged. But friends also keep in touch on discord or other messengers, so I often wonder, what do I even post for, and why? All I really want to post about is my life, but that’s not even really a safe thing to do, and also, why do I want to, besides being a little human who likes to leave her little proofs that she was here? Like, would it be interesting to anyone here to know that I work in AAA now and the fam and I are moving to Germany soon? That’s cool news for me, but I can’t say much of anything about my work (and even the things I am allowed to say are dangerous, lmao. Telling the internet who you work for and on what game title always makes you a target. Target is doubled for every underrepresented identity that you have. But that was a LITTLE different for me in my curated twitter bubble because again, it’s more like LinkedIn on the gamedev side, and I have a small audience so my info doesn’t leave my bubble; my bubble is also small on Tumblr but feels more unfamiliar after I’ve been inactive for so long.). AAA can carry a lot more weight in the industry but it really shouldn’t (what some other VOW writers said is true: God works hard, AAA devs work harder, but mobile romance devs work hardest of all) and tbh I don’t give a shit about commercial game size--I chose this company’s offer because its team was really special (severely anti-crunch, pro-labor rights, inclusive, brilliantly skilled in storytelling and technical design and other things I want to learn from them, kind and warm). But some of you might be happy to know that I’ll finally get real health insurance and sick days and vacation time and I can’t just be randomly laid off at any time (something European game devs enjoy that US devs often do not), and it’s a huge weight off my shoulders, because you might remember how I had to struggle with that for several years. Always so much to say but so much fear around saying it. Rare to find the points where you can view your life as Back Then and Right Now in such concrete terms. Is that worth documenting?

TL;DR I want to use social media for personal things and chatting with friends but The Internet at large makes it difficult to do that. I am of course far from the only one who feels this way. That’s just the update on me while I ponder what else to contribute to this blog! I do owe you some cat pics at least.

[lordeemailarchive]

PART ONE: Eating two slices of ice cream cake with James Murphy

(04/11/2022) (Solar Institute Bulletin No. 19) (From New York)

If elegance is arriving somewhere without a commute story, then in the newslettersphere, elegance is starting your letter with anything BUT an apology for its lateness. I’ve owed you a letter for ages now, and one hasn’t come. For that, I’m sorry!!! Since the summer I’ve felt the weeks spinning through my fingers like fine thread. Airports, shows, cars, bursts of loneliness and melancholy, moments of sun. They might as well pay me in jet fuel, I’ve been on so many fucking planes this year (if you’re looking for a saviour, ETC); haven’t been in one place for more than two weeks since… July, I guess, not that that’s any sort of excuse, but things just kept happening and the list of things to tell you about kept getting longer until it was overwhelming, and so it goes. As Rachel Cusk says, one has to serve out one’s changes moderately, like strong wine. By that logic, I’ve been drunk for months, and with that state comes ups and downs — intense jonesing for home and family, a struggle at times to resource myself, feelings of inadequacy, of longing and loss. A couple times I’ve been backstage doing vocal warmups before a show thinking, What the fuck can I offer these people right now, when I myself feel as loose and spare as a tooth or a tyre? So finally today, sitting in a basement with bleach disciplining my scalp, I thought — today’s the day I’m gonna write to you. And for your troubles — TWO PARTS TO THIS BAD BOY. For all things tour — recent pics, updates on upcoming shows, et al, see part two. Between drinks, it has been an intense period of what I’d call research — not writing songs as such, but reading, conceptualising, writing a ton of stuff down, laying the foundation of… something. I’m feeling excited and challenged. A little nervous. Teeth in my shoulder.

Warmup

Milan sneak peek (more dispatched via the Institute)

Best thing seen this year - bioluminescence activated by the movement of the waves. does anyone know what kind of seaweed this is? Where my biologist SCsWWTS at?)

Bathroom floor after Primavera, Los Angeles

Have felt your love in general, these past couple months. All year, of course, but special moments keep coming sweet and bright — touching a tattoo in the rain, or my mum sending a photo of a freshie in the supermarket. Running into people who were at Radio City, hearing about everyone’s different nights — my waiter being accidentally on mushrooms there, a sweet boy in the grocery store who went by himself. And then, holy shit, the intense, overwhelming outpouring of love that was Mexico. I’m still riding high on what a warm welcome we got, how sweet and dedicated you all are, what finally being able to hug you and not let go for ten seconds felt like. I did get a terrible cold, but it was worth it. 

STARVING YOU OF LAUREN’S GORGEOUS SHOW PICS + GENERAL TOUR CONTENT BECAUSE OF PART TWO random iphone pics only!!

Have written the story of my 72 hours in Milano and where I went after as an Institute dispatch, FYI. What’s been going on with me? This podcast episode. Remember this from last year? Going to see said painting at MoMa, having mind blown. Finally going to Tiny Doll House (AS A NEW YORK ACTIVITY I REALLY. CAN’T. RECOMMEND THIS ENOUGH). Seeing Dev play in the round. Thinking about work that feels open enough to contain different stories and meanings. Sitting in the sunshine talking about hearing One Dance for the first time. Watermelon 5 gum (A DERANGED AIRPORT PURCHASE THAT I’M LOVING… XYLITOL CAN YOU BELIEVE SHE’S BEEN OUT OF NZ TOO LONG!!). Finally read Essential Labor By Angela Garbes and it blew my damn brains out. Loving Cusk, halfway through Second Place. Natasha Brown’s Assembly and David Milch’s Life’s Work waiting in the wings. Read Natalia Ginzburg’s Voices in the Evening on a beach in Greece. Always so fascinating to me as I get older and realise that the books I’m gravitating towards are a little bit like my browser search history, getting at the questions I’m asking. Domesticity, family, parenting… paging Dr. Freudette! This conversation between Hilton Als and Terrence Hayes in the Paris Review is one of the most gagging interviews I’ve ever read. The podcast POOG, which I’m late to discovering but completely obsessed with. Like the rest of New York, Kate has me in a chokehold. “As she banters about skin care, you get the sense that her refusal to play herself onstage is part of a larger personal preoccupation with the ways that the coherent “self” is always a doomed project.” (Shades of Cusk???) Gonna buy these Kari Māori cards for Christmas presents this year. This newsletter took so damn long I missed Mahuru Māori, but I consumed a ton of really thoughtful work by a variety of creators during that month, a highlight being this podcast episode reflecting on the 50 year anniversary of the Maori language petition being delivered to Parliament, and the future of reo in our country. Haven’t seen Tár yet but it’s on my list. LOVED Corsage. Wanted to like Triangle of Sadness more than I did, although it was fun in the room. Watching the movement in Iran with my heart in my mouth. I cannot believe the bravery of these women. FUCK YOU BOLSONARO AND GOOD RIDDANCE.

Leaving you with two quotes, that could be applied to making stuff, or just to living your life. “First you hate something, then you investigate why you hate something. That is exciting — and for creative people, to be excited is the only way.” From Mrs. Prada. And this, such a classic, from Kris Kristofferson upon hearing Blue for the first time: “‘Jesus, Joni,’ he said. ‘Save something for yourself.’” No. Shan’t. Throbbing with love for you. PART TWO INCOMING! E

(source: received this email)

[forabeatofadrum]

AO3

–

III

~~

2075

Simon looks around in surprise. I think he likes my new place. I’ve moved a several times since I last saw him. After all, I move every five years. Right now, I’ve found my temporary home in Carlisle.

“This is so weird,” he says.

“What is so weird?” I ask. I look at Simon, who’s eternally eighteen. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to it. You’d think that I would be okay with it, since I’ve spent sixty years knowing that he’ll always look like this, but no. It hurts every time I think of it. It’s the reminder that he had a tragic death.

Simon gives me a serious look. “I know mages aren’t allowed to ask Visitors about death. I do remember that from Magickal History, but there’s no rule about Visitors telling mages about death, right?”

I raise my eyebrow in surprise. Simon has a point. No one knows about death, even though people have been coming back from the death for decades. Mages aren’t allowed to ask, since magic belongs to the living. Knowing too much about death can prevent people from fully living their lives and reaching their magickal potential.

Simon telling about death is probably bad as well, because I will know about death, but there are no rules for it. After all, Visitors remember that mages will not ask, so out of principle they don’t bring it up.

But I am a seventy-eight years old vampire in the body of a forty year old man. Will I ever die? Probably not, so I cannot fear it. In fact, I crave it.

“Tell me.”

Simon looks a bit nervous. He knows he’s breaking a law, but who’s going to prosecute him? He’s as dead as a doornail.

“I don’t really know how to explain this, but, uhm, time is weird in death? It both doesn’t exist and it is also endless. How many years ago did I die?”

“Sixty.”

Simon nods to himself while frowning. “To me, it feels like three weeks ago. You’ve waited twenty years to see me again, but I last saw you yesterday.”

I’m stunned into silence. I had no idea that time doesn’t seem to pass for him. 

It’s weird. Twenty years is a long time, especially for me with my life on hold. This time, I expected Simon to show up, so I have actively waited for him all this time. 

Can I call that living? The only purpose of this never-ending life is to wait for my dead boyfriend who only shows up every twenty years. Especially now that my original loved ones are slowly dying. 

My father, aunt and Daphne are long dead. Dev recently died. (I did tell Dev and Niall about my vampirism, which was a great decision.) Bunce is still around, but in Omaha. No one’s heard of Wellbelove since the day she left for California.

Mordelia still visits me. She looks older than me.

My life feels pointless with everyone dying. I live to see Simon. To hear that he does not have to wait for me makes me weirdly jealous. 

I am jealous of the dead.

It’s a bit ironic. The first time Simon Visited me, we said our goodbyes. I accepted that that was it. I let him go.

But now that I know that he keeps coming back, I don’t think I can do that again.

I never want to let him go.

In the background, Simon’s continuing his explanation.

“Basically, there’s nothing after death. I can’t say there’s an afterlife or anything. I exist, and I also don’t. I go here, and then I go there, and then I go back here. It feels like a day at a time, but for some reason, I do know when the Veil is opening and closing. There’s always a one day wait, but sometimes when I go back to beyond, I realise the Veil is back and that the day afterwards will be twenty years later. But it’s still day by day, and they don’t even feel like full days. It’s as if I am asleep most of the time, and then an hour a day I get to be here-”

“Why are you telling me this?” I ask him through gritted teeth.

Maybe I was better off knowing nothing. At this point, death sounds like a gift, an escape of this horror we call a never-ending life.

Simon shrugs, which pisses me off this time.

“Use your words, Snow,” I say in annoyance. 

“Okay, because you don’t change!” Simon answers, sounding sad, “You don’t change! I can pretend that you also saw me yesterday but then-” he motions around “-I see the state of your house. The world changes around us.”

I look around. Of course, the world has changed a lot in the past sixty years. It’s already changed a lot in the past twenty years. To me, the changes have been gradual, but to him, he always gets dropped into a new world.

“It makes me sad.”

The annoyance leaves my body. Instead I reach for him, as always. I will never stop reaching to hold him.

“Simon… you don’t have to be sad,” I say, “I get to see you.”

“Once every twenty years, Baz,” he says back. He’s still sad. It makes the usual cold even more unbearable. “You’re seventy-eight. I’m still eighteen. You’re not going to age.”

“I can’t help it. I wish it weren’t so, but this is my life now.”

“I kind of want to kick your ass for not moving on with your life and allowing this loneliness,” Simon says.

I want to argue back that I am not lonely, but the only meaningful relationships that I have left are the ones with my younger, but now somehow older, sister and my dead lover. That doesn’t really help my argument. Bunce is still around, but she’s on the other side of the world and despite our old dreams of the future, fast worldwide transportation hasn’t been invented yet.

“What do you want me to do about it, love?”

Simon shrugs. I get that. I don’t have an answer either.

“If only it were possible for you to settle down somewhere for longer than five years,” Simon ponders out loud.

“I will look into it.”

Simon looks surprised at my sudden change of tone.

“You will?”

I nod.

After all, I cannot deny his wishes. If he wants me to find a place where I can be comfortable, I will find it. (Is it sad that I care more about Simon’s opinion on my happiness than my own?)

Even in death, Simon Snow has a grip on my life.