#i cannot be normal about alenoah

[cloudyskiiees]

ok hear me out. total drama high school au. alenoah. scott pilgrim but instead of evil exes noah is friends with them all and they find it hilarious so they make a pact to have to approve whoever he dates next, and noah finds it fucking hilarious so he goes with it.

1: owen (and izzy and eva by association)

e-scope are poly! izzy is dating eva and owen, and owen was dating izzy and noah. noah loves his idiots, but decided he needs a partner with at least a shred of sanity. they're all still best friends and very close! dated for fiveish months sophomore year!

2: cody (of course)

middle school bfs. dated for like two weeks until noah couldn't deal with cody anymore. have been friends for so long he can't get rid of him, despite it all noah appreciates the geek (even if he wants to strangle him most of the time)

3: tyler

tyler came out as bi in freshman year (noah was his gay awakening) and asked him out on impulse. noah found it amusing and accepted, knowing the jock would quickly figure out he wouldn't wanna date such a pessimist. broke up after like a month, tyler is a good friend and very happy with his gf lindsay!

4: justin

got dared to ask out noah and date him for three days freshman year, accepted the challenge. noah isn't stupid, so he accepted then broke up with him after two days, making him lose the bet. justin was so distraught about it he confronted noah, who quickly learned he may be a prick but really he's just a crybaby attention seeker. if you asked noah now why he's friends with him, he couldn't give you an answer. but they're on friendly-rivalish terms!

5: emma

first and only gf. was scared to come out as a lesbian to everyone, so noah offered to date her to ward of suspicion from her family (people assume he's bi, he's still not sure) till she was ready. dated for a solid year between sophomore and junior year before she came out and got with her current gf (courtney), her and noah are lesbian gay solidarity, he's good friends with her and her sister, kitty.

6: duncan:

most recent breakup. end of junior year they both wound up in detention together a lot (noah couldn't stop correcting teachers + being a snark in class) ((duncan is a delinquent)) and a very unlikely friendship formed. duncan wanted to piss his ex (courtney) off so he would constantly flirt with noah in front of everyone. unbothered, noah and him went on a few dates just to post about it. emma found it very funny, courtney did not. both boys enjoy being assholes and judging people together.

alejandro has to go through and befriend all of them to basically get a stamp of approval to date their fav snark <3333

total drama has effectively taken over every inch of my brain i hope y'all enjoy my silly thoughts

[real-total-drama-takes]

one last thought about this. but the way that one alenoah person aged up the characters or whatever, deliberately made it so that noah's height difference is even more exaggerated to fit that same stupid heteronormative mold i was talking about earlier. along with making it so that, despite all being adults, noah looks significantly more child-like in both attire and height compared to alejandro and duncan.

when you combine that with the fact that this person literally draws adult x child shit and is pro-fic then i just need to know HOW the fuck any normal person cannot see a problem with tweaking character designs of teenagers in such a deliberate manner and THEN going on to draw them in suggestive positions. i cannot believe some of you will openly go "oh wow i didnt know they were bad but i liked their art!1!" when said art was literally just fetish and borderline predatory stuff paired with consistent whitewashing.

if you did not put two and two together and figure out what was wrong with this before some tumblr anon told you "hey person bad" i think you should genuinely feel ashamed. even when i showed my irls, who know NOTHING about total drama and fandom culture on its own, the posts im referring to, even they could tell that something wasnt right. it's totally insane and crazy, but im starting to think that some of you may not actually care about the reality of this kind of behavior and just say whatever everyone else is, but turn around and deliberately continue to consume the same problematic shit someone has already yelled into your ear 653 times about

tldr yeah this is a rant about sc#pt3rno and other freaks here that will go into the pile of "things that the fandom wont take seriously because brain shut off after three word"

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