#i cant avoid them even if i try
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Thinking of vlr Akane is so conflicting cuz on one hand I’m so upset that she doesn’t ever get a moment to just rest and enjoy being alive again I’m upset that she just gets deeper and deeper into this role she’s built for herself and she loses her humanity and will never ever be that girl who died in the incinerator. But on the other hand, I need her to get so, so much worse I need her to be so obsessed with perfection she has this unique ability to change the course of history and she will burn everything and everyone to the ground in the blink of an eye if it means she can "reset" and get a perfect timeline and I desperately need her to never be satisfied with anything because really, is there anything that’s worth all the damage she’s caused?
#zero escape#akane kurashiki#virtues last reward#yeahhhhh just having so many thoughts about akane and sigma and junpei and yeah im screaming eyes bloodshot#i want akane to just like post 999 just do silly shit with aoi get a cat be a gamer try to heal the best she can#and i want her to be so evil i think theres still some crimes she hasnt committed yet she should do those#i really really really want her and junpei to just beat the shit out of each other in a boxing ring. specifically post vlr#need them being old as shit throwing chairs everyone is cheering#and damn like vlr akane just cant agree with junpei on his philosophy that a life with pain is still a life worth living cuz then thatd mean#everything she did in 999 was all for naught like to accept even the bad timelines where she died as valuable...#thats a kick to the dick especially when she fought so hard to live and how her death was so unfair#except she was just a scared kid with no choice then. now whats her excuse#i just want it to be possible you know? possible that akane didnt need to do this and she couldve been happy#cuz yeah the trauma would be horrible but surely itd be better than the trauma she has now since she took that dive#i wonder if she knows that no matter what she does she’ll never erase her trauma and eventually she will have to face it#or if she actually believes she can figure it all out and win the perfect timeline and magical mental stability will happen#basically akane is avoiding therapy soooooo hard but then again who would even be her therapist#no one can possibly understand her...right?
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taco and mephone have fascinating parallels more people could explore if taco haters weren't biased cowards
#meeple.txt#inanimate insanity#ii taco#ii mephone4#dare i maintag this. watever#like taco haters r obsessed with the idea that taco is ruining herself worse and dragging everyone down with her#when shes literally just doing the challenge mephone created and even changes her intentions on hosting the challenge partway through#bc shes REALIZING how badly everyones been affected by the show just as she was#and she uses the attention she now has and urges them to leave and escape because she doesnt want anyone to end up like her#she believes shes past saving Yes#but thats exactly why shes trying to help the others avoid getting to the extent shes gone#meanwhile even when getting his wrongdoings slapped in his face mephone doubles down bc thats all he knows#thats all he feels safe with. he cant let himself trust and be vulnerable and its ruining his life and all his relationships along with him#it says SO MUCH about both mephones and tacos arcs that MEPAD. the one whos been inseparable to mephone from the Start#is seeing more hope of improvement in TACO than mephone#taco the infamous villain to everyone since s1. since before mepad was ever conscious#if anything mephone is the one ruining himself in denial and hurting others in the process#and im not saying that to vilify mephone either !!!! before you 0 nuance bitches come in#if it wasnt obvious from my entire page i LOVE mephone and i LOVE where theyre taking his character. make that man Worse ❤️#but i feel like so many ppl are just projecting mephones arc onto taco bc they dont wanna admit mephone has Issues
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help im getting emotional over satoru gojo again
#may or may not be crying#thinking about him and his found family#thinking about how he views his time with suguru as the blue spring of his life#a place he cant return to — only in dreams…#but he can regain that sense of happiness even now and i think that’s something he might not realize#because he’s silly and stupid and he doesn’t understand how loved he is#by his students and by shoko and by yaga and by everyone he’s helped and saved#he’s soooo loved and the idea of him feeling that love through his precious students — feeling even a smidge of that blue spring again…#it just gets to me :((((( your life isn’t over gojo!! the blue spring you miss is still right in front of you!!!!!!!#the shinjuku fight will always be so special to me… all of them slapping his back while he puts his infinity down and grins happily#wanting to show off in front of those beloved students when he fights sukuna….#sobbing crying throwing up he loves them so much he cherishes them he wants them to be happy he wants them to be proud of him :((((((#the papa of all time. the only Father ever#canon gojo will always be my favorite at the end of the day. no fandom variant comes even close to being Him u just cant copy that ……#feeling very sniffly tonight :(( very vulnerable trying to avoid leaks and worrying abt what’ll happen#ari noises ✩
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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Anyway they can change between being tiny and human sized. And when they're tinier they can only be seen by the other fae or their selected humans. So if you just passed Noll on the street while Shavuli was perched on his shoulder chatting away you wouldn't see or hear her.
#my characters#a lot of the fae who are trying to get noll to pick a human take turns joining him as he wanders if he opts to be human sized#if he opts to be small and fly around none of them can actually find him to follow bc he does it precisely to be alone#and makes careful to avoid all of them when he dips#which furthers their friendly obsession with him being their void like where is he we lost him we gotta go bring him back from the abyss!#and hes just off on his own being crippled by anxiety at being a disappointment bc what if he isnt fun enough#absolutely unaware that all his friends are like we gotta go find him hes too good at this#hes going to win the game we have clearly set up to involve humans before he even recruits a human#cause he is TOO GOOD at slipping away ITS NOT FAIR we love him what a weird fae thats our lil guy!#noll really is just out there impressing all of his friends and not knowing hes impressing them bc hes too scared of being abandoned#and i was telling rae but when he does find the human he wants as his for the game#hes like ok so im gonna be honest here i turn into a big sword and you are definitely not going to be strong enough to carry me#and the human just like ok then pick someone else?#and hes like no no i cant you dont get it youre resourceful and im resourceful THEREFORE! i have an idea! just for us!#and then proceeds to shatter himself into shards basically#so that the human can have many smaller easy to control swords rather than one too big sword#and when all of the other fae see it they are absolutely delighted bc they didnt know he could do that! thats so cool! wow! they love him s#and he doesnt tell them that it actually really flippin hurts and being broken is agonizing but he wants to win so badly#anyway hello appreciate the void fae noll and his lil buddy shavuli who can turn into a spear C:#in her human form though she loves to wear hoodies instead of just like .... a skin tight suit with draping fabrics#she does wear biker shorts bc leggy.... she likes to have legs free#but she likes hoodies a lot
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habeas corpus – detective comics #1086
(ID in alt!)
#loved this back up feature so much and seeing that bruce timm shit made me annoyed enough to actually transcribe it#first the way hes depicted as having to stand trial and ARGUE and fight for the rights of using the coin#rather than it just being a compulsion and something he must do before a decision....#like every time. every time when he's 'leaving it up to chance'—thats a time when harvey won. thats a time when harvey fought for the right#to use the coin and make it at least a 50/50 chance instead of 'crawling away until the hard part is done' like two face pushed for#every single time. regardless of the results regardless of knowing theres only a halfway chance of it actually achieving anything#or lessening the damage two face can/will do. every time hes fighting for and still believing in a fair trial and that everyone deserves on#it isnt him being weak. it isnt him avoiding responsibility. its him fighting and forcing and pushing for it as hes internally at war#with himself 24/7. even when two face wins he doesnt give up & continues to fight for what he believes in despite the injustice done to him#the way he tells Judge Janus that it isnt about HIM (himself!) while defending the right of existence to the jury of other societal rejects#the way he gestures to himself only at the very end. he asks the judge does that sound like anyone he knows and janus replies in two faces#voice but harvey keeps going. he keeps fighting for others. but at the end in actually acknowledging two face being part of him#(and by extension harvey being part of two face) and how harvey is fighting just as much to have a place as two face is#(but more within his own mind & upholding his belief system still despite knowing how it continues to fail them) and just FUCK#and two faces snaps! how theres no jurisprudence system above there either ! just no one will admit it!#how harvey knows!!! look what happened to him when he was doing the right thing!#look how many criminals and mob bosses paid their way out! look how the police are corrupt!#but still believing in it and how a system has to be in place despite being a direct victim of it as well and just GOD#I LOVE YOU GOOD HEARTED AND WANTING TO HELP PEOPLE HARVEY DENT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME !!!!!!!!#taking away how he genuinely wanted to help people and bring wrongs to rights takes away literally everything hes built on#it takes away the entire fucking tragedy of his character (and in many ways it changes how bruce himself operates and believes because#harvey WAS a good man doing everything by the books. he was trying to bring justice in the 'right way' and believed in the system. he was#what people tell bruce he should be and look where it got him. look how the system failed 'even the good ones' because the system itself is#corrupt. it isnt flawed—it was operated to oppress and thats why it cant just be fixed but must be entirely rebuilt and why bruce must#operate outside of it. it also gives more depth because harvey is one of batmans first and biggest failures. he didnt protect him.#he didnt save his parents as a helpless child (as bruce) but he couldn't save his parents as BATMAN.#it wasnt just random chance like his parents tragedy but this was calculated and something bruce didnt stop. its ALWAYS going to eat at#him if he could of prevented it by telling harvey his identity. by doing something different. by being more prepared or somehow#knowing it was going to happen. harvey is the face of tragedy in so many ways that cant fit in these messy rambly tags but its ALLL!!!!!!!#bc harv was (and still is despite it all! despite two face!) a good man!! because he originally was a glimmer of hope to bruce & the city!!
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i just feel sad then numb then empty rn
#thats why im not replying to anyone rn#feeling very avoidant#it feels strange for me to even say this bc i cant comprehend anyone caring abt me at all#but i did notice that i got some messages and asks but i just get scared and then feel bad nd stupid when i simply try to look at them#so sorry for ignoring ppl..... im like just at my wits' end or smth like that
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I'll say one thing about dredge, no game has as rapidly recontextualized itself in my eyes as when i drove up to what i thought was a shipwreck only for it to come alive as a crab and attempt to smash my ship
I stared at that for a good long while processing
#dredge#like i didnt even see any anglers in the marrows before i left because i stuck so close to the cove#and gale cliffs was expected yknow big fuckin eel that i cant avoid no matter how i try thats expected#thats big video game monster level i expected that#the crab? the fucking crab? that made me jump so fucking hard#and theres only 3 of them in the whole fucking game but that first one made me.view all shipwrecks after it with suspicion#getting to stellar basin and looking in the put to fucking hell and seeing the gianormous tentacle demon was#another good recontextualization moment as now it wasnt just oh big video game monster no#it was a primal sorta terror as im like oh fuck no no no non no thank you im not going over that pit holy shit#i inched my way around that thing i stayed as far from the pit as i could initially#the switch from video game monsters to oh this is a horror show was so good
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When a cat gets her claw stuck on something and just tugs at it pathetically while looking at me so I have to just grab her and maneuver her claw free. Because she's so stupid that she doesn't understand that Tugging doesn't free something that is hooked onto something. You must Push.
#speculation nation#this is about my tally btw. only her. i semi regularly have to free her claws from things.#it's not june tho bc generally when she gets stuck she just brute forces it free#tally is a gentle kitty. surprisingly tentative given that shes my outgoing and curious cat.#june is very easily startled and runs and hides at the slightest provocation#but she also throws her weight around a lot more. VERY ferocious when it comes to hunting bugs.#will force her way out of an unappealing situation. whether or not she should be able to.#she also bites all the time. like all the time. i cant cuddle with her bc i just end up getting chewed on.#i still Try to cuddle with her but ya kno.#anyways theyre both dumbasses but tally is somehow even more of a dumbass#despite being the sleek black cat to june's calico. tally is kiki and june is bouba. and tally is the dumber one.#every so often they come with me on trips and theyre in the boxes for over an hour. neither of them like this.#but once theyre freed. well tally is just fine. no grudges no lingering stress. nah shes Exploring!!!#whereas june runs and hides and stays hidden for days. as much as possible. to avoid more box times.#tally forgives and forgets. june holds grudges. theyre both pretty stupid though.
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is anyone else like a huge fan of various medias, huge fan of characters, loves exploring plots and themes and character development, genuinely very enthusiastic about storytelling in general… but like, somehow physically incapable of making plot lines you care about with your own original characters. or like straight up being unable to create ocs you’re actually invested in???
like, you know what you like, you enjoy so many stories, you spend so much time digging into and delighting in the themes and tropes you like, and yet every time you try to make an original concept yourself it’s just impossible to make something compelling to you???? which makes no damn sense bc it’s literally coming from your own head so wouldn’t it be as self indulgent and perfect for you as possible??????
or is this just a unique me problem bc I swear to god it’s driving me insane
#like I just. cant make stories I like. or I mean I like them a little but I don’t LOVE them. I don’t give enough of a shit to continue them#I feel like I’m getting better now at at least making characters I enjoy#but then any time I try to add a plot or story to them it makes me suddenly not enjoy them anymore????#like I just ruin the appeal for myself somehow???? I don’t fucking know why#like the only successful time I’ve managed to add actual plot and lore and meaningful themes to a character was with dimitri#but that was with a pre-existing setting made by someone else - and a storyline made by someone else#and having that person collaborate with me on almost every aspect of Dimitri’s lore and future plans#and also literally playing out his story in sessions every few weeks#I have never. NEVER. been able to do that successfully by myself#like ever.#not even now that I have Dimitri#I’m just physically incapable of pushing ocs or stories beyond its most basic concept seed#and I truly don’t know why but I feel like it has something to do with me subconsciously avoiding tropes I enjoy??#or like. not avoiding them. but just not using them. or if I try to use them it feels forced or fake#like I feel like I just literally don’t even know what I want to write about. like I don’t know what I would enjoy#and it’s so bizarre and frustrating!!!!
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My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im 😭😭😭
they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away 🙃🙃🙃
#i cant even tell him cause hes gonna play again more “normally”#its so tragic he would like skip dialogue and just fight to get the jump on boss battles instead of waiting for the cutscenes to start#and he didn't exhaust dialogue trees!! like... how... why...#and also he staked Astarion 😭 and p much never reloaded#and didn't clear the shadow curse so no Halsin#also everyone at Last Light Inn died so Dammon was gone and Karlach only got 2 upgrades#and he didnt know moonrise towers was basically a second town#and his game was buggy a lot maybe? cause he kept trying to be hella creative with things and do things out of order#like killing gortash before doing steel watch 🙃#it's fine it's fine everyone plays differently#he tends to care more about gameplay than anything else but still!!#i just want him to know all the character backstories and see everything that made me emotional#i mean he did say he was sad when Lae'zel broke up with him in act 3 and when Karlach died and when he had Gale use the orb in act 2#which he considered his canon ending :/ sigh#i dont think he got Jaheira's lines about death#and he didnt understand why Karlach wouldn't go back to the hells#and he thought Wyll was happy being the duke (and has NO idea you could save his dad cause the mission didn't happen!! 😭)#the iron throne was like my fave mission outside of killing Cazador and I can't discuss either one cause he didn't do them properly yet 😭😭#he also avoided talking to children so he missed those quests and yenna glitched so no cat appeared in camp 🙃#sighhhhh cannot believe he plays so differently than i do lollll#he didn't even do unlimited kisses with Lae'zel!! meanwhile im over here kissing Astarion every night hahahah#hoping my partner doesn't see IRL if I have the office door open as if it matters lmfaooooo#i need him to play again and see why im in love with a video game character lol#maybe we could both um... benefit from knowing more about all of Astarion's scenes lmao#but like he has NOT SEEN Astarion's silly or sweet side yet just him being a bit of a chaotic vampire#and thinks i like him cause of vampires WRONG!! play the game again and see that i love his silly & sweet real self!#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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*thinks about paul and care a bit too hard* i think im gonna be sick
#GUYS#HEY#do you ever think. do yuo ever think about how paul knows everyone in the game except care#belle is gamily. jill had the game and discovery pages. he knew rainer as a kid. he visited the family even tho he wasnt seeing them much#but he doesnt remember this girl at all. he doesnt even remember anyone going missing. he wasn't visiting the family much at the time#do you think he remembers marvin? do you tuink he knows he did anything wrong? do you think he lies awake at night trying to fit-#-his life and the game together#what do you think he was thinking during the counselor's section? i wonder if he remembered that. i wonder how far back he can-#-even remember. or maybe its selective like anything related to care is just gone#he knows they share a birthday and that the look alike. he knows the game places care in his family despite himself not being there#the game looks at him and asks him to retrace care's steps. rainer performs a spell to change his past. but can a game do that?#you are carrie mark. you are carrie mark you are carrie mark you are carrie mark you are carrie mark#do you think he knows after that. i wonder if looks in the mirror and recognises those eyes. that nose. if he avoids it entirely#doors are always open for him. the floor will continue under his feet and when he reaches for a door it will be open#it was closed for care but always open for paul#care is dizzy and uncoordinated and blind. paul cant tell his lefts from his rights#..............#petscop#paul leskowitz#carrie mark
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just going to keep this au tucked into the back of my mind for the rest of the show btw. doctor who if his companions literally would not leave him alone. he keeps getting new companions and they’re just. integrated into the tardis family. bonding over how much they all love this weird pathetic spaceman who has enriched and/or ruined their lives.
#even funnier if the doctor regenerates and tentoo does not so theyre just perpetually stuck with angsty david tennant alongside whatever#doctor is flying the ship at the time#they’ll like. leave and do normal life stuff every once in a while.#the doctor internally going both ‘oh good theyre returning to their lives 🙂’ and ‘THEYRE ABANDONING ME 😭’ because he has issues#and then another companion will hijack the tardis to pick them up again because the doctor is trying to avoid it ‘for their own good’#the doctor tries to leave them all behind when they all go to donna’s wedding and is thwarted by luke smith (also invited to wedding because#donna and sarah jane are friends now and luke eventually starts living parttime on the tardis like sarah jane does (sarah jane i can see#going back home the most. but still never leaving the doctor alone lmao.) and anyway luke got overstimulated at the wedding and hid in the#tardis to calm down (sarah jane told him that was okay 🥺) and then the doctor tries to??? fucking leave everyone??? (<- having a crisis)#and twenty minutes later luke has commandeered the tardis back to the wedding and the doctor is getting an earful from both donna (‘YOU RAN#AWAY FROM MY WEDDING???? MY WEDDING????’) and sarah jane (‘YOU KIDNAPPED MY SON???’)#i got off track here talking about donnas wedding my point was that i think it would be funny if this stupid alien man’s family just keeps#growing and growing and he cant do shit about it.#sometimes the master is also there when she’s on good behavior and she makes fun of him for it soooo much. loser cant keep his humans off#his tardis.#tardis family au
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working with children really will make you examine your thought processes and emotional reactions like nothing else. I've found myself being so much more thoughtful in my daily life about how I respond to my emotions and environment, as well as the reasoning behind why others behave the way they do
#yesterday i got really frustrated and overwhelmed at one point because this one little girl keeps getting really upset when she cant help me#like shell ask to help and i wont have a task (or ive run out bc shes already helped) shes capable of so i tell her that#and thank her for being thoughtful and helpful. admittedly the first time this happened i was really frustrated w her already#bc she had made a huge mess doing something i told her not to do and then didnt want to clean it up and she only came back#and asked to help because her friend had been helping me. so i was like girl. you didnt even clean up the last mess#but i also had nothing for her to do. anyway she started screaming and hid under a table so then her friend did it sith her just. because.#idk kids will see their friend freaking out and they do it too. and i understand it but my god. i dont deal well with really loud noise#and she did it again yesterday. i let her help me and then i ran out of tasks and she started crying and saying i never let her help#and for some reason there were like 6 other kids in there all wanting to help so then several of them started freaking out#and i could not handle it. i literally told my coworker like im about to cry right now lmao#and later the little girl was like wanting to hug me and talk to me and acting like nothing happened and i found myself wanting to withdraw#like i was feeling like i wanted to avoid her and not speak to her or be cold but i also knew i didnt want to treat her that way#and i took a couple minutes by myself and thought about why i felt that way‚ what the effects of that would be‚ and how the kid felt#and i really just had to remind myself that she was feeling just as many emotions as i was but that shes only had 6 years#to learn how to manage them and deal with them in a productive way. she wasnt trying to upset me. she wasnt trying to make me mad#she was just dealing with her emotions in the only way she knew how. and im an adult and if she can get over it i really need to get over it#long ass tag story sorry
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nandor begging guillermo stab him... with a stake.... twice.... he wants guillermo to top him sooo bad
#wwdits#nandermo#wwdits spoilers#it would be a terrible idea for both of them but god. i cant decide what would be funnier#that one post i already made (they fuck guillermo freaks out and nandor decides they are in Love. basically married.#he does not understand why guillermo keeps avoiding him while he is trying to enjoy being in Love. is he not satisfied?)#or nandor realising he wants to be topped so fucking bad and realising he cant look at guillermo or even be in the same room as guillermo#without getting uncomfortably turned on. entire episode of nandor freaking out until the last scene where he meets laszlo in his workshop an#goes 'if he fucks me do you think his van helsing blood will make his penis act like a stake and vaporise me?'
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im generally not a fan of the idea of any of the early 2000s sonic games being remastered because i think those games not having the most updated looking graphics or the best voice acting ever is part of the charm i dont want them to be changed to look and sound exactly like every other sonic game thats come out in the past 14 years
#leave sonic heroes ALONEEEE#also when it comes to character voices i tend to prefer the voices from either back then or from the 4kids cast#we do not need those older games with perfectly good voice casts being downgraded like that come on#(no hate to the current cast though theyre just doing their jobs and i do like a lot of the voices. most just arent my favorite)#though when they remastered colors they didnt re record the voice acting#and when they made an animated short to go along with it they brought back tails' va from back then#so maybe they would try to avoid recasting everybody#some recasts would be unavoidable though if they tried to record any new stuff for it#because for colors only 1 voice actor was different from the current cast but for heroes its 13 different characters#and also eggmans va from back then died unfortunately. and tails and charmy were voiced by actual kids who are much older now#but its mostly just a few specific performances that i dont want recorded over by newer voices i like a lot less#i dont know why they have to remaster the 3d games in order to re release them anyway ..#why cant you just make a port with minimal changes#again this is assuming that the sonic heroes remaster rumors are even true . which im assuming theyre not im just talking hypothetically
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