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kkyaka · 9 months

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I wish people wanted me to be their friend :/

#ignore me lol just feeling sad #tried to meet up with one of my friends from high school and she kinda just blew me off #we were roommates in college before she dropped out #but once we got to college it felt like she just left me in the dust #she would hang out with her cousin all the time #and she would hang out with other people without me that we knew #she never really wanted to do anything with me #and i was always the one trying to initiate to hang out #i cant even remember if she ever did #i just dont understand why no one wants to be my friend #am i really that annoying? or that bad of a person? or so good at bringing negative energy?#i just wish i knew why i cant keep my friends #and why people rarely reach out to me #🥝.rambles

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lemongogo · 3 months

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just thought of stamps treatment of elendira again ..no .. NOO

#what the hell did she ever do to them #i saw a twt abt trigun stargaze (?) stamp s2 (?)#and how its 2 yrs after season one and i first got sad bc i was hoping for her og design revival #but then i remembered they made her a CHILD????#& not even that but the ?? what was it . changed her into a half plant prototype ?#canonical trans woman changed into child laboratory experiment like what compelled you to do that.why #no i cant even think ab it too much or i legitimately get upset HELPP #LIKE SHES ONE OF MY FVAORITE CHARACTERS EVER AND THEY RUINED WUITE LITERALLY EVERYTHING THAT I LOVED ABT HER #ugh.xAIHHGGHJHG #elendira #sometimes i wish . soo hard that i could j be normal and like things and have fun #but im such a stickler abt consistency w characters and stories such that any deviation makes me like .no #i cant deal w it HELPPP we need to adhere by character bibles again . we need to maintain the general chronological order of events #wlfwood characterization is a mess across the board and introducing late stage concepts / characters / plot devices early #just messes w the story in irreparable ways imo😭#yess ‘stamp was never meant to be max’ i get it .. but 98 accomplished what stmp couldnt #with 16% the published og materialHELP #all of this AND u made legato ugly as fuck LIKEE GIVE ME SOMETHINGG.? rem too omg..

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moeblob · 5 months

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Ananza realizing that Deacon's mom was a devoted follower of hers THEREFORE that's her son now, too! And she will dote on him and love him and never pick on him like all the other deities tend to do. That's her precious little boy who lives in another city and rarely gets to see her!

#my characters #deacon gets mocked for being weird by every other deity but her and ymber (though he does think hes a TAD weird)#and ananza is like NOPE THATS MY LIL BOY !!! I LOVE HIM! and after deacon and ymber leave from their visit #she gets all huffy with fulj because YOU COMPLAINED ABOUT DEACON SO MUCH ??? my sweet lil angel?#and fulj just what - hey wait - did we meet the same person? sweet lil angel?#also for if you care cause i definitely do #ananza is like hmmmm since thats my son now i HAVE to give him something but .... ymber is so protective....#and then she is like OH YEAH ! ohime said deacon recognized my dance !#then she is like deacon please come dance with me i formally request a dance come here away from him please here hey #and since deacon is a nice guy hes like ok but i cant really dance well and shes just noooo worries!#and then as they dance she slowly gets him away from ymber and after they are at a decent distance she just #takes his hands in hers and then FWOOSH there's a bunch of wind and deacon is left speechless like ??? what was that?#and so then she is so proud to say that while ymber placed a very PASSIONATE blessing on him she did no such thing!#it is a simple blessing for him since hes like a son to her and hey it might not make you immune to stuff like drowning #but if you are ever in combat which i hope you arent then you will be super duper agile and quiet #and so hes like oh thats pretty cool actually! hey wait what did you mean by passionate hey what #but then the super light footsteps actually are not simply for combat and now hes just a very tall quiet guy #and since he cant remember faces if he sneaks up on someone and they say AGAIN? HOW ARE YOU SO QUIET? hes just #im sorry i didnt mean.... to.... do that.... again.............. (whomst is this and how many times did i spook them)#and ymber is just really happy that thank goodness his blessing and ward act as a GPS and so at least HE knows when deacon is nearby #and fulj is like i hate him even more now did you know he nearly gave me a heart attack like two hours ago ??? this is a crime against me #anyway ananza and deacon are just cute together and hes her precious lil son!

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rev-tone · 5 months

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"Jack? Are you okay? How's your murdering going?"

#drawings #mgs2 #big shell day #happy April 30th #metal gear solid #mgs #Rosemary #UGHHHHHH I LOVE THIS GAME SO FUCKING BADDDDD #WHAT IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS A SPY? . OH GOD IS SHE A COMPUTER?#DID SHE EVER EXIST AT ALL? WHO KNOWS. YOUR FOSTER DAD IN POWER AROMR IS GOING TO KILL YOU WITH TWO KATANAS EITHER WAY #Im posting this too early but literally doesnt matter like who is even going to see this #i cant even remember the last time i have did art for mgs tbh

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falldogbombsthemoon · 3 months

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I hate group projects with a passion :3

#tmr biology on insects and information and that stuff #my part is about mimikry. which actually interests me quite a bit so id say my part alone would get graded pretty good #BUT #ofc my group mates just now came up to me like “dang shit i will never have enough for 12 minutes” and others fucking copy pasted wikipedia #and now im back on babysitting these fuckers to get their parts straight #and its not even like i wouldnt have to care. no. we get graded for the whole thing #and i dont even want to babysit them. i didnt do this volunteering #but my neurodivergent ass csnt work with people who dont care/ arent interested so ill take it in my hands to be done bc i cant trust them #to actually do shit and do that shit good #but i fucking hate leading projects #someone please either shoot dead group projects or put me in some project that people like to work on and would work on from free will #and the teacher too is a complete maniac #in frist aid class i was the first one who could actually do cpr and when i did cpr on that dummie she was like #“what are you doing?? youre killing him” so ofc i stopped like “huh” and then she was like “now he'd actually die. dont ever stop cpr”#how about “good job. and remember. dont ever stop cpr unless your own life is at risk” but ig she is unable to say anything positive #anyway what i wanted to say with that is i see my survival chance for tmr first period pretty low :)#thihihi #quinns daily yapping post

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pjoercy · 1 year

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i am the number one hater of ppl who hate bianca di angelo for joining the hunters and call it selfish

#SHE WAS 13 #(or 14 cant remember)#SHE WASNT SELFISH #SHE DOESNT HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO ACT AS NICOS PARENT #SHE KNEW HE WAS GOING TO BE SAFE AT CAMP #she deserved to live a long life as a hunter #idk why im thinking of biance #but anyway i will fight anyone who calls her selfish #the only bad thing she ever did was pick up the figurine in the trash machine yard thing and even that i will defend #bianca di angelo #nico di angelo #the titans curse #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #mine

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spacedlexi · 1 year

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sooo glad we live in the universe where twdgs4 was rewritten to be about saving the school instead of the original lis2-esque on the road each-episode-is-a-new-location plot. really dodged a bullet there

dont know if it was due to the cuts and collapsing work environment (no budget for all the assets needed) or what but the school plot is just like the perfect setting for her to end her story. and we really almost got a plot about her.... just trying to make it back to her original house? oof

#my biggest problem with lis2 is that being on the road made a lot of your choices essentially meaningless #like wheres the threat of consequence when you know youll be gone by the next episode anyway?#the kids were originally gonna kick them out permanently.......Nightmare Scenario #the plot of her trying to get back 'home' is so silly honestly like its Just nostalgia/fan bait. convince me otherwise you cant #it makes no sense....she lived right outside a major city... that place is Not safe anymore #it wasnt even safe when she left it 8 years ago girl why would you go back #her finding a place to MAKE a new home and having to fight for it? with a community of her peers who love and respect her? so much better #shes a community leader now :) of a bunch of kids living secretly in the woods just trying to make a safe home for themselves #in a hostile world that wants them dead #love that for her #shes been managing adults since she was 11 and even before that tried to be a voice of reason. at 8 years old. community leader makes sense #s4 is just so narratively sound to me for clems character that i cant believe there was ever any other direction they wanted to go in #every time im thinking about how good s4 is i remember what it almost was......... and i am so grateful we got what we did #not only do we live in the universe where s4 is about the school but we Also live in the universe where s4 was un-cancelled :) yay #shit makes me so happy man. i remember clem is living happily at ericsons and my day is Immediately improved #these little fictional bitches in my head giving me free serotonin on command #it speaks #twdg

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dayurno · 7 months

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the worst first date ive ever been to was with a goth girl who took me (tennis skirt collector) to this underground goth club with the most anti autistic flashing lights ever and we smoked a joint together and i genuinely thought i was seeing hallucinations on the dance floor. then her friends and her drank a bucket of alcohol essentially and her friend started throwing up in the bathroom while i very sadly apologized for needing to leave (because i was hallucinating) and we kissed goodbye as her friend retched with the lung capacity of an airplane engine. i heard the album the entire night was about five minutes before. anyway kandrew

#kevin: sorry im having hallucinations :( nicky retching so hard he coughs blood:#and then i had the best uber driver ever on my way back so i guess things were meant to be #hmmm let me see. neil was kevins uber driver. (nodding sagely)#it was not my first time trying weed but it was my first time smoking in essentially a goth torture chamber #full of people dancing in strange and peculiar ways #i love the goths i believe in their beliefs but it was then i realized i did not have what it takes #and it was UNDERGROUND I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. we were under the ground. it Felt like we were underground #andrew: its really underneath the ground kevin: wow :)#it was so awful all around even though she was so nice about it 😭😭😭🤏#miss dani if youre out there im sorry your friends were nice i hope their band works out #im going to a gig as soon as i remember what it was called

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transcicle · 9 months

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who up getting autistic over a podcast theyve never seen

more under cut idk if theyll format or not... beware

some of these i just did some of these are old

some of these are the drawing style thing i did sooo.... in order... : FIRST THROUGH FOURTH IMAGE peter drew those :-) FIFTH rumi drew that one :-) SIXTH exandroth drew those :-) SEVENTH peter drew that one :-) self portait EIGHTH rumi [bad at art edition] both NINE and TEN i dont remember if they were ment to be peter or just me goofin... so picjk ur poison LOL ELEVEN thats peter LAST THREEEE meeeeee :3 9-10 and 12-14 are the older ones everything else i did last night / this mornin'

#jrwi #jrwi apotheosis #angelstone #sqlumi #................i prefer sqlumi.... why did name it angel stone thats like exandroth + peter not rumi + peter its confusing to me #im sorry i watched the angelstone cut like half a year ago #IM SOOO AUTISTIC ABOUT THEM YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA MAN YOU HAVE NO CLUE SOSHAKSHLSXHLDHDJDJKRKFKF #i cant contain it anymorw im going to post my cringe #quite a few of these ones are from my little handwriting drawing things where i make up their handwriting and art style tee hee #i think rumi either SUCKS ASS at drawing or can decently draw in an anime esque style #i imagine peter has a lil bit of artistic abilities... he did paint a ton of mug paintings if i remember right????#he aint the best but he can do it #thanatos has 0 skill because he has never drawn anything ever until this hypothetical situation where theyre drawing and writing this all #exandroth adapts peters skill to an extent #peter tries to follow the rules taught to him about writing as a child to a T soooo he has generally neat handwriting if hes thinking abt i #but if hes tired or just out of it idk #you cant get one word man that shit is just complete chicken scratch even he cant figure it out sometimes LOOLLLL #rumi also has very neat handwriting HOWEVER i love the idea that she hams it up to be really swirly like that one girl in elementary #thanatos is very stiff and neat might as well just be font...#exandroth is either writing in full caps or alternating between whatever ver of a letter he wants to write at any time #VERY heavy handed and goes over every line like 3 times #when writing his name EVERYTIME he writes exandroth archangel of retribution everytime #if you guys wanna see what i have so far.... you can ask.... hehe #theyre my ocs at this point man i havent seen the damn campaign #i would just make them my ocs but my brain immediately loses interest whenever i do that uuuuggghhhhg #i mean i have a beast moomin furry thing peter and an object oc peter bur #*but like idk #btw i have like waaayyy more to say but i reached tag limit <////333 tumblr hates autistic people real #ill just retype it all in the next post ^.^*#archive

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fightaers · 8 months

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i just read a TERRIBLE sakura slander i have to actually sit down oh my god

#did we....... read the same manga???????#the way people said s.akura mistreat nrt and ino and thats smth they have in common #WHAT #maybe thats smth that was perpetuated further with anime additions but ?????#as solely manga reader i cannot fucking remember one time sakura was ever purposely cruel #or even being petty about her feelings #maybe when she was 12 years old before shit went down??????? WHICH??? UMMMM????#HELLO?????? SHE WAS A CHILD ????????#everything ABOUT what she's doing after shes 12 and ssk defected and how shes responding was a DIRECT response to the circumstances #she was enduring #i cant remember ONE time she was EVER mean to any of her comrades #she was always so overly caring. so fucking READY to help them #my best example was how she was with sai. like my girl PUNCHED him when he badmouthed ssk #and still she was also the FIRST to genuinely ask sai abt his questions and hobby etc #shes both loyal AND curious / open enough to new friendships and bonds #i try not to divulge so much into the fanon lens of sakura #but if u think she's just this one-dimensional petty and jealous bitch to satisfy ur own narration of an event ...... IJBOL #take care of urself fr cause idk how it is at ur side but where i am? i'm fine and replenished #and sakura is still much more than the girl who couldn't succeed her teammates.#gen: out of character.

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todayisafridaynight · 6 days

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Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0

i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3

#snap chats #SHE DIDNT EVEN WATCH IT BUT W/E SPOILER FREE QUICK REVIEW DOWN HERE HIIII <3<3<3<3 #ive been made aware my tastes are. Questionable so proceed with caution vlklvjv im so sorry if i convince you to see it and you dont like i #moving on I Have. done nothing but listen to Eternal Flame for the past week its been stuck in my head ever since #BUT FR as i said I Really Liked It. i heard that theres another/original version so i wanna watch that at some point #if i care to remember and find it vjaelkjeakl but as This Movie On Its Own i had a swell time !!!#it does a really good job of teetering that line of #'this is just a quaint little sometimes-awkward get-together' and 'this is so stressful i just might throw up'#it did a good job of keeping me invested and on my toes i guess- it bitters innocuous scenarios really well which i like #like i wasnt sure WHEN whatever scene i was watching would turn sour but i always had that feeling it /would/- that lingering feeling #the horror in this is more psychological than violent- it only gets crazy by the last quarter honestly #which isnt bad! i like psych horror and Christ. the amount of times i was just grimacing in my seat like Suspense Is The Word #like imagine a dinner party where people only say controversial things and you dont want to blow up the situation #so you just try to be really polite about pivoting from the topic. but they keep going. thats basically the horror of this movie at its cor #i do have SOME comments about some bits but i wanna rewatch the movie at some point to be thorough on my comments jglejlakj #yk do a rewatch where im. NOT jokin bout with my brother- THO TBF DESPITE THAT I was still invested #like its premise is so. simple? in concept imo. but 'simple' isnt automatically bad in my eyes and i really liked how it played out #i dont watch movies much tho so maybe its been done different but there is ONE thing tht definitely made me like. HUH #but its nothing super major i dont htink? I MEAN IT WAS KINDA BIG BUT there were signs to it being revealed. still it made me vjLJ like god #i cant explain tho cause SPOILERS but ... Yeah. its not that crazy it just definitely took me by surprise for how quick the reveal was #tldr: if you ever wanted to watch an awkward dinner party where you couldnt do anything about it this is the movie to watch #and i like that. i like that because i hate myself apparently jVLAEKJVAEKLJ #coupled with horror it was also funny at times which i felt did help with that underlying 'when will this be tainted' horror #i really liked that ... when normalcy or the feeling of safety can be taken away in an instant #if you watch it and wanna talk bout it more in depth ill prob have rewatched it by then and id like to give a more. Detailed review #OR AT LEAST ONE NOT SO RAMBLY VELKAVJEALKJ im not good at reviewing things .... i just know when i like or dont like somethin ..#ive only had my bro to talk bout this with and he doesnt really. Give his thoughts or opinions too much like i do #so id be happy to talk bout it and get your perspective !!!! but only if you want Again if you dont like it im so sorry erlakjaekl #god theres so much more i want to say but im just rambling and i wanna be brief for you my friend vlakjlakvlkj #anyway yeah. those are my quick thoughts. i was Very Normal about james mcavoy for most of this movie ty for reading

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the-trans-dragon · 10 months

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Y'know it was REALLY goddamn evil and nefarious that the oil fields gave my mom (a single mom working 3 jobs to raise 2 kids) a single $5,000 check in exchange for her signing a nondisclosure to never complain about them.

Of course we fucking took the money. Even with her working 1 full-time job and 2 part-time jobs, she barely made over $1,000 a month. Of course she took the money. We though about moving but we still couldn't afford it. She was so frugal with it, though. It did give us a sliver of financial security for years.

But goddamn. $5,000 is table scraps to them, and they bought her silence with it because she couldn't refuse the chance to slightly lessen the weight of poverty on her family.

#sorenhoots #i remember i was like 11 or something. she didnt know if she should sign it. and its not like we had or knew any lawyers. she had ME read it #over and even i was like “this is a nondisclosure and it means you cant ever talk about anything they do even if they do something terrible”#i recall being very proud of myself for knowing what a NDA was. lord knows where my middle-school self learned that from. she did eventually #have a lawyer of some sort look over it and they said the same thing but.... $5000 #it wasnt an option for her. that was more money than wed ever had or saved. she had two kids who would need cars bc we lived so far in the #country. she knew i wanted to go to college. i dont think i ever saw her buy herself clothes before then either. it was money for emergencys #and necessities and birthday presents and road trips and... i often wondered about the person who offered us that. i wondered where they #lived and wondered how much their clothes costed and wondered if their kids got to have art or piano lessons. i wondered if their home was #over 80 degrees in the summer and under 60 in the winter and if they lived in a house that wasnt filled with dangerous spiders (we had nice #spiders too but we did also have Very Dangerous Spiders) and id picture him in his office in a button up and slacks and it would break my #heart that my mom couldnt have all of that. we just had a $5000 check and a vow to not complain.#she still feels earthquakes from it. less nowdays but still. and sometimee it still smells like a jar of hot petroleum jelly. and the attic #smell is worse than ever and the tap water smells like sulfur and wet mold #goddamn what the fuck? jesus christ. she should move.

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juniestar · 3 months

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Oh my god one last thing my ex took me to outside lands and when we tried to watch lana del rey he laid down on the grass and had a “panic attack” (this was after months of him talking about how he didn’t like her) so we went to see foo fighters after a bit and he was FINE

#LANA i know his sister works for you BUT TRUST MY WORD AND GIVE ME A FREE TICKET PLEASE…#MY FIRST TIME SEEING YOU WAS RUINED GIRL… she was so good too like i was saving her songs to spotify that night #im reliving all this because i found out a lot of his exes and ex friends hang out together and two of them invited me so it was me an ex an #d an ex friend just swapping stories and first of all. he said he got cheated on by this girl and she NEVER DID IT (HE would have emotional/#angry outbursts at HER though) (allegedly he’s acknowledged to her that the cheating never happened too) and 2. this is obviously making me #mentally rehash everything again. i feel so bad for his current girlfriend and also for the person i ‘’stole’’ him from though i really hesi #tate to blame myself after hearing about his patterns. first of all he wouldve done this with anyone who was vulnerable around him and secon #d i was the only reason he was at all honest with them. he was fully planning to gaslight this ex and me and his dad had to convince him not #to. they look like theyre happy now and im very happy for them over that. oh my god that man was evil he told me for WEEKS about every time #his then partner had talked shit about me while i made clear that i didnt care and wasnt very interested but he kept going. god i cant belie #ve this was my life a year ago.#the one thing i can say is that i out freaked him because throughout our short relationship i made him so insecure that a week after i told #to never speak to me again he called me asking if he really was ugly.#I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAD TO TEND TO A GROWN MAN WHILE LANA DEL REY WAS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE HE WAS SO OPPOSED TO BEING AROUND HER. LANAAAA #times like these i get so mad i dont know what to do but ultimately remembering that he has not achieved any of his goals because he refuses #to face himself really helps me. god man IVE achieved some of his goals and i wasnt even trying to #a really awful part of all of this was all of the friends who knew him taking his side. because they didnt know him well enough to know what #he was actually like.#i was talking to my ex friend of four years and she was like not to blame you but he was probably really vulnerable from his time with [ex p #rior to me]’’ because he’s been going around alleging that that ex was abusive. and she was implying i took advantage of him. so i had to go #into detail about what an awful awful person he was and the sort of state i was in when this relationship took place. hannah lee you are #not seeing your little jehovah’s witness heaven.#anyways redirecting this energy im very happy with the way my life is and the way i am now. and im grateful for it i would not have ever bee #n able to imagine having the sort of peace and motivation i feel now. life feels like it can and will change for the better and it keeps pro #ving that right all the time #it just hurts sometimes having that as my first experience and not even being able to vocalize what was wrong bc i just didnt know hurts #oh i forgot one of his besties can see my account bc we’re sort of mutuals. i doubt he’s looking he did the whole unfollowing the ex bc she’#s allegedly amoral thing after the breakup but if he is hi isaac #he did on rare occasion show me selfless kindness but ultimately your best friend is a creep. i don’t want to be involved with anyone from #our school but I hope you know this and I hope you’re proud

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widevibratobitch · 4 months

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im gonna kms. i knew i was forgetting something. it was fucking mother's day and i forgot. i didnt even talk to my mom yesterday because i was in a whirlpool of hyperfixating on this stupid thesis. ffs i need to be put down.

#i should really fucking die how could i have forgotten #im gonna fucking cry. im the worst daughter ever #ffs why am i like this. why do i keep fucking up all the time constantly jesusssssss #she's MY responsibility now that her husband's gone and i cant even remember one day in a year #granted i did see her last week and gave her the present and apologised that i wont be able to be there on that day and she said its ok #but even so. jesus fucking christ i hate myself so much i need a fucking break i cant do this anymore. this. on top of everything this.#im so fucking alone in this. i know i keep saying it over and over again but the knowledge that im the only one she has left #and the responsibility that goes with it. it's so overwhelming.

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vilelittlecritter · 2 years

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Me: "I don't like people, I prefer being on my own and not talking"

People: "oh okay we'll leave you be then"

Me: "wait no PLEASE COME BACK I WANT LOVE-"

#its not that i dont like people. its just that i have resorted to avoiding people out of habit and a sense that i make things worse #like its not that i DON'T want to message my friend. its just that I cant bring myself to since i usually dont #ha ha ha. god i am desperate to just speak to people but I want to be left alone and im scared of people turning out to be mean #i kinda feel like crying when i see people say how they love their friends and cuddle up with them and have fun #lol one of my old best friends caused me to have awful anxiety about myself because he judged and made fun of ke constantly #oh yeah and that other time after i broke up with a friend because we stupidly decided to try and date and it didnt go well #the bastard asked the person out that night. they said no because they aren't an ass or dumb. god i should have left him when he said that #oh yeah he also made fun of my sunny cosplay i did and then left me alone in the comic con crowd for half an hour #as someone with anxiety that fucked me up just a little #so yeah bad past friendships and terrible social skills have left me to just go lol cant get hurt if i dont have friends!#ha ha. this is agony.#i have like one actaul friend i talk to and she's going through some stuff and wants to be left alone #which is understandable but now I'm talking to absolutely no one #also even if i were to talk to people i just feel i make things worse #i feel like im obnoxious and weird constantly and I'm sobscsred that people are going to think I'm creepy #its not that im doing anything super weird its just that with my autism I can get overly excited and start rambling and not thinking #yet another reason why I've chosen to stop speaking as much #im also just really snappy sometimes #I remember a while ago someone i was kinda friends with asked me if i was okay and i said i was fine #they kept pushing because they were concerned and no ones ever really done that so i kind of panicked and raised my voice at them #i wasn't angry i just never had someone try and actually pry that deep before other than maybe my parents #they seem like a lovely person but i still feel so horrible for doing that to them #sure i apologises later and they understood but i felt like it was one of the most awful things ive done to someone #i hate even the thought of being cruel or mean and all they were trying to do was help and i snapped at them for it #sorry for being ranty but I'm starting to think im really not okay #I've pondered the idea of possibly having deppression but thats a conversation for my counselor #again sorry for sumoing and ill probably delete this soon #if anyone has read all of this im honestly impressed #personal rambles #vent tag

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apollo-zero-one · 6 months

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Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....

#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!!#or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing #NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years #waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line #mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker #you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy #victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know #you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and #doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's #life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze #manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head?#This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and #poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy #she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he #said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch.#No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings.#bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk #that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!!#and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck.#Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he?#was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements #and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm #and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word #choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board.#Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself??#'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person #how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person??#Are you just living in some other reality???#callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me #im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason

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