#i could put the same stuff on twitter or reddit or tiktok or whatever but those platforms feel more like stages

[dumbasspersonalitydisorder]

i love the internal monologue culture of tumblr

[nightswatchdisbandmentera]

Fandom For Dummies: A totally objective and 100% correct ranking of the different ASOIAF fan communities

Nobody asked for it, but here’s my unwanted ranking of the largest ASOIAF communities on the internet:

7. X (the website formally known as twitter)

This is a cesspool; easily has the worst takes imaginable and it doesn’t help that’s it’s mostly like two fandoms at the forefront of this. Show watchers blend into book readers and this causes so many bad takes on every character. People talk big mad about characters, until you realize that they have never read a single chapter for said character and are basically just spewing whatever nonsense oomf told them to. Fights are petty and uninteresting, not to mention just how unhinged HOTD twitter stans are. Back in my day things weren’t this bad. But the last few seasons of GOT made everything 1000x worse.

6. Tiktok

I went back and forth with this one but I think it should be near the bottom. Tiktok is basically just twitter lite. People are not as unhinged on tiktok as they are on twitter, but they still bring their nonsense stan wars which means that it’s super rare to find good asoiaf content because everything is basically wrapped up around “how do I make my fave look good by making everyone else look bad?” People who have never read the books also never hesitate to give their bad takes. Tiktok is also notorious for straight up stealing stuff from Reddit and tumblr, and then wrapping it all up with the stan twitter logic - which is a proven recipe for disaster. Don’t expect to find particularly gripping analysis on tiktok that you haven’t seen anywhere else. Shoutout to that one account that posts lore videos though - they’re single-handedly hard carrying that godforsaken app.

5. Quora

It might be an unpopular opinion to rank this anywhere other than last, but I put it above twitter and tiktok because you can actually find good analysis here and there. However, Quora is also a massive echo chamber that enables the worst circle jerks imaginable (we’re all familiar with that famous poster who acts like Dany literally murdered their entire family, aren’t we?). Quora was shockingly bad way back when I joined this fandom and nearly a decade later, it’s still terrible. But this ain’t special to the asoiaf community. Quora as a platform is intensely toxic. For being a cesspit of hate, it gets a near bottom ranking but still manages to rank above twitter for actually sticking to book content every now and then. Also, there’s usually not a whole lot of shipping wars which is a major plus!

4. Reddit

I’ve also gone back and forth with this one because it could rank higher or lower depending on the time of day. But it’s been a hot minute since passable content came out of Reddit, which explains why it isn’t any higher than fourth. This is a site that is capable of great good, and also great evil. Some cool theories have come out of it (e.g., the Night Lamp theory), but the downside is that this happens once in every five blue moons. Most of the time, Reddit is one giant circle jerk of whatever is the opinion of the day. Think Tyrion is the devil incarnate? Well you’re in luck, because so does literally everyone else. The makings of Reddit’s core demographic also means that female characters are more likely than not to get lambasted for every little thing (e.g., Cersei getting victim blamed for the abuse she suffers). Sure you could find good analysis, but it will be right alongside the most shockingly bad take on any given character that you’ve ever seen (just ask any Arya stan). A majority of redditors also employ the most surface level analysis of any character which lends to the bad takes, but this isn’t anything new considering that tiktok and twitter do the same thing but worse. Major plus though, little to no shipping! Which means that we get to avoid fighting about which teenage girl gets to shag Jon Snow. For having elements of both the good and the bad, Reddit is firmly middle of the pack. But shoutout to r/darkwingsdankmemes for single-handedly hard carrying the asoiaf Reddit communities. Y’all are doing the lord’s work (though it’s not like the bar is that hard to clear to begin with).

🥉 YouTube

Ok, woah YouTube in the top three?! Yes, hear me out. YouTube is really good at presenting out new theories, especially pertaining to the magic side which often gets overlooked everywhere else. In fact, I’d argue that it’s the second best place to get any sort of discussion on the magic side of asoiaf without falling into some bizarre stan war echo chamber. YouTube also doesn’t have the shipping wars that you find everywhere else, which makes the fan experience a lot more fun. Now a major downside is that a lot of analysis on there is either borderline crack on wheels or the most surface level reading imaginable. Some creators also push a lot of hate towards certain characters (we all know who they are). But still, it’s not the cesspit that Reddit is and you’ll be able to find interesting stuff everyday. It’s like tiktok, if people actually tried to think for themselves and analyze the books outside of an echo chamber. When you learn to filter out the bad faith arguments, YouTube has great content, especially if you’re a new fan and are trying to learn about the lore or get some explanation on popular fan theories. Shoutout to AltShiftX (for when they stick to presenting out basic lore), CivilizationEx, Radio Westeros (though they started out on westeros.org), and many more for the work that they do. Tiktok wishes they were you!

🥈 Tumblr

Tumblr is a GREAT place for fandom engagement! Ok let’s start with the bad: shipping culture. This has almost completely ruined the fan experience. Especially for ships that are not yet even cannon (yeah don’t all gasp at once). Either you think Sansa (a 13 yr old girl!!) is the devil incarnate or you think Dany (a 16 yr old!!) needs to be strung up by her toes. Every now and then, poor Arya will catch some strays. This also means that you’ll find a lot of bad faith “analysis” for the anti-ship characters. And to make things worse, Jon is in the middle of this and so every group is guilty of either misconstruing or vastly misinterpreting his character to further whatever their agenda is. Now onto the good. For all the flak tumblr gets, it’s given us some of the best character analysis you could find in greater asoiaf fandom. There are so many incredible asoiaf blogs and even the shippers post great content. There also a variety of good stuff which allows you to curate your fan experience. You’re a Theon stan? Great! There are a bunch of wonderful Theon posters on here. A Stannis stan? Fear not, you’re in good company! There’s something for everyone and you can stay in your own cute little stan bubble, which can’t be said for the other communities. Tumblr also has great artists and gif makers too, which you won’t find anywhere else (well, maybe the editors on tiktok). Something that keeps tumblr in the higher ranks is that there’s something new everyday. This site, for all its faults, has managed to stay active and keep things fresh after all these years. But the shipping wars man…that’s what’s stopping us from being the best. Let’s #MAKETUMBLRGREATAGAIN2024!

And the best ASOIAF fan community is 🥁 🥁…..

🥇 Westeros.org

Yes, Westeros.org is still the best asoiaf fan forum after nearly two decades. To this day, the best asoiaf analyses have come from this forum. The reread projects, in particular, are top of the class: The pawn to player threads which single handedly changed how we discuss Sansa Stark (+ the same people did the Arya reread projects); the learning to lead reread project which was a cool joint project by Jon and Dany fans; the Jon and Tyrion reread threads, the best of them all, which were spearheaded by the forum’s top posters; the moments of foreshadowing threads; the ‘can’t believe I missed that’ threads, the heresy threads for off the wall magic theorizing; the over 150 RLJ threads…the list goes on and on. Westeros.org has been the backbone of asoiaf fan discussion for years and years. Also, some of the funniest posts ever made (e.g., the ‘Sandor and Gregor Clegane are brothers’ theory) have come from that site. Does this forum have its faults? Absolutely. Just as all the others do. I’ve been around long enough to see the tides turn on which female character needs to be hurled right down to hell. Way back then it was Sansa and Catelyn, then came the huge anti-Dany circlejerk (which is still there tbh), and now it’s Arya who’s satan incarnate. Another ding against this forum is that is has not managed to keep it relevance after all these years; Tumblr has been much better on that front. Westeros.org lost its best contributors as the show overtook the books and is now a husk of what it once was. BUT, you’ll still find good discussion from the ten people who still log on everyday. This site actually focuses on book content, as there’s a dedicated book only forum. It’s also the best place to find extensive discussion on the different magical elements in ASOIAF. So instead of arguing about who is or isn’t Azor Ahai, which is frankly so 2014, posters on Westeros.org will actually spearhead some pretty out there analysis on the different magical elements. They’re not afraid to go against the grain, which is how we got the heresy threads - an entire subforum that encourages readers to think outside the box, which you won’t always see on tumblr or other sites. Westeros.org is not what it used to be but once Winds is out, I’m sure it will be returned to its former glory.

Didn’t include other sites like Tower of the Hand (which was pretty decent back in the day), Winteriscoming.net, and many others because they’re just not as big. Anyway, I’m 100% correct. GRRM himself told me so 😤

[pinkeoni]

I dont want to milk the discussion to death but i am writing this after reading the post and comments under that post on reddit. You dont have to answer i am just writing it as an observation.

Its understandable why people do not see Will's importance or role. What the writers did with him wasnt just holding the spoiler for the finale. After all you can still pull a plot twist while revealing some of the stuff or putting more setup. But theu revealed basically nothing with litte to no setup. In Will's case it doesnt help bc they also sidelined him way too much and separated him from the main plotline. That is just a writing mistake and admitting its not hating on the writers.

I dont want to sound rude. And Whenever i have this discussion with people i tend to keep an open mind to the both sides. Overall though i tend to agree that if your writing is pretty much alien to most of your audience then it is bad writing. This show isnt written for a selective part of the audience. I wish people would realize that. If i go to twitter, reddit, insta, tiktok or other sites that make posts and analyses about ST and i see the majority of people call Will unimportant then the writers failed at even hinting at his importance. People shouldnt be saying he is an irrelevant or unimportant character that doesnt do anything. It is not just El fans who say this, its the majority of the audience. It was the writers job to stop this accusation by putting more setup and adding more screentime for him before the finale season rolls, even if they want to pull a plot twist in St5.

People also dont like plot twists that has little to no actual setup. That is why plot twists are tricky. Also keep in mind that the same thing applies to byler going canon... i dont want to sound like i dislike the show because i dont. But i have to admit that they flopped the writing. I genuienly think that once St5 rolls people will realize this more. Heck even some Will fans themselves think he is not that important and what happened to him were all coincidental. Can we blame the overall audience for thinking that way?

My problem isnt that i think Will is unimportant but rather how the writers approached it. It is full of bad decisions and lack of good writing. And whatever plot twist that they may pull might not even have a positive pay off at the end due to how they have been writing things. In that case is it even worth to pull a plot twist if the pay off also flops? Imho the Duffers dont realize that their setup for a potential pay off is built on a weak construction site but they like the element of twists so they dont care about the coherent build up and progression.

Will the audience's response to what happens in St5 be "Wow this is so true how didnt i see it coming" or will it be majorly a reaction like "This is bullshit there was almost nothing that suggested this"? Because the latter one seems more likely to happen, unfortunately.

Anyways this was all over the place but admittedly i wrote it after reading the comments on reddit as an overall afterthought. I respect your opinion but in think there is a major disconnect btw the writers and its audience here in terms of writing imho.

Hello anon,

Decided to go to sleep before answering. No, I don't think you're being rude, and to be honest I agree with a lot of what you said. I think that the points we disagree on we may just continue to disagree on 😂🤝

I don't think you are hating the show for pointing out flaws in the writing, and in the post I just made about this I do at least try to acknowledge some of their shortcomings such as— shafting Will's presence and not balancing the supporting casts' storylines. I do agree that, like you said, that Will's role in the story could have been emphasized more.

The thing that I do disagree with, and maybe we just won't ever see eye to eye on this anon, is that there wasn't any setup at all, especially concerning his role in the supernatural plot. I listed off the evidence and gave my reasoning in my post, so I won't repeat here as to not sound like a broken record.

I also agree that no, the show isn't written just for the over-analytical people like me, but I think surveying reddit isn't an accurate depiction of the general audience. Granted I don't see much of sttwt, tiktok and insta so I'll just trust your word for it. But in that specific reddit thread, it seemed like fans who were adamantly trying to deny Will's importance, using faulty evidence as proof. It's interesting because these aren't really fans who watch from a surface level, they actively participate in fandom and willfully skew their perception of the text in order to fit their vision of things.

I think when it comes to revealing Will's importance and having it not come out of nowhere, it will all come down to execution in this final season. If the show reminds the audience of some of the hints leading up to it, then maybe they won't feel so vexed when the reveal happens. If they throw us in the deep end and start pulling out new details then it would definitely feel out of nowhere. It'll be a fine line for them to walk for sure.

But anyway that's where I'll leave it anon. I appreciate you sharing your opinion, although I still maintain some of my thoughts on this and I think you will too and that's okay 🤝

[shirlleycoyle]

Why This Teen Walked Away From Millions of TikTok Followers

This is part of a special series, The Future of Fame Is the Fan, which dissects how celebrity became so slippery. It’s also in the latest VICE magazine. Subscribe here. 

Sixteen-year-old Ava Rose Beaune was hanging out at a friend’s house on an otherwise unremarkable mid-July afternoon when her cell service briefly shut off. She tried to text her dad, but it wouldn’t send—definitely odd, she thought, but not alarming.

Then people started messaging her: Did you see what’s on your Twitter? Your Instagram? What’s going on? She logged on to her social media accounts and saw that her new Facebook status alluded to suicide—but she hadn’t posted it.

“My whole family thought I was going to kill myself,” Ava said.

Suddenly, a man she’d never met was calling her parents, demanding to speak to her. He had control of all her contacts, texts, emails, and social media accounts. The next day, he texted her: I just want to talk to you. (Spoken and written quotes from Ava’s alleged stalker are italicized to indicate they are not necessarily direct quotes but are as she remembers them.) He called her, and she answered, begging him to do whatever he wanted to her Instagram account, if that’s what he was after. “Delete it. Delete it and leave me alone if that’s what you want,” she told him. You don’t want that, he said. “I do,” she replied. I just want to meet up with you and have sex with you, he said.

“That’s when I hung up the phone, and I was like, this is getting weird,” Ava told me. This stranger had managed to hack her accounts using a method called SIM swapping, in which he contacted her wireless service carrier and convinced them that he owned the account and needed them to transfer access to the SIM card to the phone in his hand—effectively taking over her digital life.

In screenshots viewed by VICE, the hacker can be seen posting a Story to her Instagram about being Ava’s new boyfriend, issuing rape threats, and writing things like “I can’t wait til I impregnate you and marry you. you only live 5 MIN away from me.” She got her social media accounts back in her own possession and resolved the problem with her carrier. “OK, this is, you know, the end, whatever,” she recalled thinking.

With more than 2 million followers on TikTok, Ava was a minor celebrity in her own circles. So, she said, she was used to men being creepy, or even hostile. This was extreme, she thought, but it was over.

But it wasn’t. This was only the beginning of weeks of daily harassment so severe it would uproot her life entirely.

As of this year, TikTok likely has more than 1 billion monthly active users, and the market research firm Statista estimates that adolescents between 10 and 19 years old make up 32.5 percent of those users. The spiritual successor to Vine, TikTok is a micro-video sharing platform that favors an off-the-cuff, do-it-yourself style: People of all ages lip-sync to movie clips and songs, mimic elaborate dances in their living rooms, and use filters to edit the 60-second videos into tiny works of art. It’s also something of a fame lottery.

All this manic, frenetic energy combined with massive audiences is addictive in the same way any social media platform is: with casino-style scrolling and a notification system and the looming chance at virality. Normal teens like Ava—who signed with a talent agency in January 2020—become voracious consumers as well as unstoppable creators, hoping to strike it big, get discovered, or at the very least, make it to the For You feed, where one video plucked by some mysterious algorithm from a user’s feed can get in front of millions of eyeballs instantly.

“I’d rather not give those people the satisfaction of being noticed.”

Despite all this, cyberbullying experts say that TikTok isn’t the worst social media app for harassment. “The way that TikTok is built reduces the likelihood of cyberbullying when compared to other apps,” said Sameer Hinduja, the co-director of the Cyberbullying Research Center. Features like direct messaging that only allow mutual followers to contact each other, and the inability to add images or videos to comment sections, set it apart from other apps. “To be sure, cyberbullying can manifest itself in hurtful TikTok videos directed towards others, as well as in comments and in livestream chats—but these possibilities are no different than on any other social media app,” Hinduja told me.

According to TikTok’s transparency report from 2020, 2.5 percent of videos the platform removed were for bullying or harassment. But there are some features unique to TikTok that make it prone to a different, more personal kind of harassment. “Duet” allows other users to repost your video with a split-screen video of their own. Most of the time, it’s used innocently, for singalongs or miniature skits. But some users say it opens a portal for disturbing abuse. In 2018, BuzzFeed News reported that people—often young children—would duet their videos with a video of them acting out suicide, putting plastic bags over their heads or belts around their necks, to show their disgust at the original post. And a Duet from a more popular account can send a wave of attention from their followers to your page, not all of it positive.

Nick, who runs a TikTok account with his five-year-old daughter Sienna (the family goes by their first names publicly, to protect their privacy), told me that they experience Duet-based harassment on top of the usual comment section cruelty. “Some users would duet our videos and say mean, nasty things that were just not true,” he said. “In the beginning, it made us second-guess the path we were going down.”

It hasn’t stopped since they started the account, in October of 2018—and they’ve since gathered more than 14 million followers. But they have gotten better at managing it, Nick said. “Sienna is luckily very intelligent and knows that this is not OK. I made sure to sit down with her, emphasizing how special she is and that people may not see that right away.”

Nick believes TikTok does a good job of handling harassment, and giving creators the tools to handle it themselves. “If there is consistent harassment from a specific account, I block and delete their hateful comments,” he said. “For the negative comments in general, I tend to just ignore them. I’d rather not give those people the satisfaction of being noticed.”

TikTok does allow users to opt out of Duets. But these are the features that foster that slingshot fame; opting out of them means opting out of your chance at going viral or just growing your audience.

Fatima and Munera Fahiye, who are sisters and TikTok creators with around 3 million followers each, told me that they also find the platform to be responsive when they need support. “There were multiple accounts on TikTok impersonating me on the app, and TikTok helped me by verifying my account to let people know that my account is the real one,” Munera said.

Whatever harassment they do receive—which often means racist comments—they say is outweighed by the support of fans. “I have been on TikTok for a year now, and I have not experienced any harassment, but after gaining some followers I have seen some mean comments about my hijab every now and then, but I try to not give it any attention, because the love and support that I am getting from my fans is more than the little hate, so it does not matter,” Fatima said.

The harassment that happens on TikTok doesn’t stay there, however. On Reddit, whole communities are devoted to catching women and girls on social media in the middle of wardrobe slips, where you can see down their shirts, up their skirts, or anytime they shift and move and reveal a glimpse of more skin. Standalone websites are made for this purpose, too, and for doxxing and harassing women who might have a TikTok in addition to an OnlyFans or other separate adult platform.

In 2020, a server on the gaming chat platform Discord took requests for TikTok creators to be made into deepfakes—AI-generated fake porn. Although child pornography is against Discord’s terms of use, even in the form of deepfakes, one of the most requested targets was only 17. A request for another deepfake noted, “by the way she turns 18 in 4 days.”

Creators also find their content, clothed as in the originals or deepfaked, reposted to porn sites. In concert, the people on each of these platforms work together to create an overwhelming environment of virtual assault for many young women.

Until TikTok, Ava had never really been into social media, she told me on a Zoom call in her parents’ house. She was taking a break from high school distance learning; this was her senior year, spent over video chats because of the COVID-19 pandemic. “I always told myself I’d never make a TikTok because my friends all had it and I was like, that’s so cringe,” she said. “Like, I’ll never start that. But they were like, ‘Come on make one,’ so I did.”

She said she made her first account when she was 15, and posted the usual stuff: trend dances, makeup videos. Within a few days, her audience went from the friends who talked her into joining to 150,000 followers—a leap in popularity that she still doesn’t entirely understand. The sudden attention startled her; she deactivated the account.

She accidentally reactivated the account later, and at this point, having gotten over the initial shock of attention, decided to give it another try.

A rock smashed through her mom’s car window with a threatening note tied to it: I want to take you and impregnate you.

Once Ava started posting new videos, the hateful comments started. “I thought that was like the worst it could get,” she said. “It was like, body shaming and hate—the body shaming especially never bothered me, and the normal hate comments were just like, whatever.” A few users created accounts to post rape threats about her, and this did disturb her, but she took it as par for the course as a young woman online.

That is, until one of her followers started stalking her and her best friend, Gabriel. That follower messaged Gabriel, mentioning her home address and demanding to know who she was dating. “So, we’re both kind of like laughing like this guy’s obviously just some weird fan,” she recalled.

I have something planned for Ava. You’ll see in the next three months. I’m planning something big, Ava says he told Gabriel. He hacked her phone three months later, on Gabriel’s 18th birthday. After that, the man texted Ava every day.

“It was stuff about how he wants to rape me, how he’s going to get me, how I can easily stop this—he was texting my dad saying, She’s not allowed to hang out with her friends, if she goes out I’ll know. Saying he’s watching over us and stuff like that.” Every time Ava thought the situation was as bad as it could get—that this man she’d never met was going as far as he could go—he went further.

Then a rock smashed through her mom’s car window with a threatening note tied to it: I want to take you and impregnate you.

Cyberbullying has proven long-lasting effects on teens and young adults. As Hinduja noted, studies show that it’s tied to low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, family problems, academic difficulties, delinquency, school violence, and suicidal thoughts and attempts.

“So at this point I was like, ‘OK, this is getting a little serious.’”

“Most important to me is how negative experiences online unnecessarily compromise the healthy flourishing of our youth at school,” he said. According to his and his co-director Justin Patchin’s research at the Cyberbullying Research Center, over 60 percent of students who experienced cyberbullying reported that it “deeply affected” their ability to learn and feel safe while at school, and 10 percent of students surveyed said they’ve skipped school at least once this past year because of it.

“That cannot be happening,” Hinduja said.

“In general, I hope people will remember that everyone is a human being just like them. We are all capable of feeling hurt and disappointment, and just because there are numbers and a platform attached to our lives doesn’t mean we are impervious to hurtful words or harassing comments,” Nick said. “TikTok is a space where everyone should feel safe to express their creativity, and in order to do that we need to be kind to others.”

Maxwell Mitcheson, Ava’s agent and the head of talent at TalentX Entertainment, told me that he’s seen harassment take a direct toll on young people. “A lot of creators are growing up in front of millions of people, and that involves making mistakes and learning and growing from them,” he said. “The hateful rhetoric definitely weighs on them; some don’t even look at their comments section anymore just to try and stay positive.”

“It’s the inability to make mistakes, being attacked for being authentically yourself, and the sudden lack of anonymity,” Mitcheson said.

Ava’s experience was on the extreme side, he explained, but creators at his agency have had instances of hacking and stalking, or fans randomly showing up at creators’ homes. “We’ve had to involve security and PIs before, but Ava’s was a situation that could have ended in tragedy if it weren’t for the Toronto police intervening.”

After the window-breaking threat, Ava said the police told her that she couldn’t stay at home. She went to stay at a friend’s house, but he still reached her there, she said. “He just kept going saying like, look at what you’ve done, this is all your fault,” she said. He sent her a private message that would delete after it was opened, so she recorded it using a friend’s phone:

I need you to accept the fact that I’m extorting you right now, you need to accept that this isn’t going to end no one’s gonna catch me, the police haven’t ever caught me when I did this before, accept it, give me what I want, I want you to meet up at this park right behind your house I want to do this this this this to you

if you don’t I will kill your parents in front of you in your living room and take you.

“So at this point I was like, ‘OK, this is getting a little serious,’” she told me.

She said she sent the message to the police, who told her whole family to stay somewhere else, hours away. They did, for two weeks. He kept texting her: are you going to be there Saturday you’re making the wrong decision you better answer me.

Eventually, Ava recalled, he was caught. He left the VPN he was using to mask his location off for a half a second, according to her—just long enough, she remembers the police telling her, for the investigators to capture his location data and pinpoint where he was texting her from.

Ava said that the police told her that when he was caught, they found six separate phones and a bunch of SIM cards in his possession—full of pictures and videos of Ava that he’d taken from her accounts. According to the Toronto area detective Ava and her family worked with, the case is still in the courts.

Talking to me now, over Zoom, in between classes and facing midterms, Ava seems fine. She’s able to recount this story in delicate detail, without flinching. She understands the gravity of what happened to her, and how it upended her life. Her family decided to move away, “to the middle of nowhere, pretty much,” she said.

But she is different now. She stopped posting to her TikTok to focus on her friendships and family, though she still posts sporadically on Instagram. She would like to be more active on social media, but she’s not pushing herself. She has anxiety that she describes as “really bad.”

“It’s really affected me, like, you know, just like not being able to live in your own home, and like, even when you are at home, not being safe… It’s really hard, especially when I was only 16 when this happened,” she said. “It is hard, and knowing that my parents were always stressed out and not being able to go outside and walk without feeling kind of scared…”

Before she stopped posting new TikTok videos, she tried to open up on the platform in videos about her mental health and her experiences. But people weren’t receptive to it.

“Especially when they’re like, Oh, a TikTok girl that all the simps love, or What are you complaining about, all these boys love you, kind of thing,” she told me. “I’ve been trying to go to therapy and trying to get over it, but when that kind of thing happens you’re not really the same afterwards. You have a different outlook on social media. You’re kind of scared of if it’s going to happen again. You don’t think those people exist until it happens to you, and then you’re like, wow, this is crazy.”

Online harassment has a silencing effect on people of all ages and genders, but women have it especially bad—and young women are pushed offline, out of the center of conversations and control of their own narrative, at earlier and earlier ages. As adolescents, harassment online makes them do worse in school, seek riskier behaviors, and contemplate or even attempt and follow through on self-harm and suicide. As grown women, this looks like anxiety, a lack of self-confidence, not sleeping, and stepping out of the online conversation altogether to protect their own mental health, and, in severe cases, the safety of themselves and their loved ones. When harassment is allowed to carry on, and women are shamed for seeking help, the damage digs deeper—and we lose those voices.

I asked Ava what she wishes more people understood—about her, about what it’s like to have a big social media following, about how it feels to have millions of eyes on you at such a young age. “I just wish they knew that just because you have followers, doesn’t mean you have this perfect life,” she said. “Just because boys love you, that doesn’t complete your life. When these kinds of things happen, you should be able to be open about it.”

Follow Samantha Cole on Twitter.

Why This Teen Walked Away From Millions of TikTok Followers syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/