#where ppl are watching/reading and judging your words

[dumbasspersonalitydisorder]

i love the internal monologue culture of tumblr

[gold-rhine]

sub!Diluc x Dom! gn! reader

Warnings: very much not safe for w, edging, overstimulation, praise kink, minors get out of here. But also, some unabashed fluff. Yes, it contains multitudes.

words: 3,2k.

A\n: repost since my previous blog got shadowbanned

Listen, i know everyone hcs Diluc as a dom. And he can be a very nice service dom, but I’m here to convince you that sub!Diluc is actually not OOC.

First of all, he’s more repressed than a catholic nun. Diluc is like on six levels of dissociation at any given moment. He sees his body as a flesh suit he’s piloting that requires an inconvenient maintenance like sleep, food and occasional sexual release. He’ll jerk off by himself like it’s a chore.

Diluc is so touch starved it’s ridiculous, and *he doesn’t even know it*, that’s how much he’s disconnected from his needs.

And like. Helping ppl like that discover what they actually want and watching them come undone in pleasure they didn’t know they desired is so delicious. If you know, you know, there’s nothing quite like it.

But you have to go slow with him

I mean first of all, you shouldn’t mess with Diluc at all if you’re not in for a long haul, this man doesn’t do casual.

Oh, he’ll agree to try if he’s already into you, he’s incredibly indulging to the people he values. But also because at first he’ll be incredibly defensive.

Not because he’s not into it. Just as a defense mechanism, as he thinks he’ll disappoint you and he’s preparing for a failure from the start.

Diluc can see any activity with his important people as a trial where his performance will be evaluated. He is one of these “I need to get a good grade in X which is both normal to want and possible to achieve” people.

Remember the coffeeshop event where he was like “When I was a small child, my father told me to mix my first drink using all of the ingredients in the tavern. In hindsight, it was probably to see how creative I am and I must’ve failed because I just made a fruit punch and my father didn’t say if I did well”?

Like, Diluc. Baby. Honey. Sweetie. Your dad probably just wanted you to have fun in an improvised “take your kid to work” event. He didn’t judge your punch because it was about spending quality time together and letting you play with colorful syrups. Who the fuck would evaluate a small child’s creativity on the first time they mix drinks. You think he expected you to invent Pina Colada?

So yeah, he will see even getting edged as a thing he’s not proficient in, so he’s most likely to fail and disappoint you. And that’s one of the worst things he can imagine.

Because being useful is Diluc’s love language. If you read his voicelines or talk to him in teapot, you can notice how he’s very focused on doing things for you, like he’ll invent a drink specifically for you and keeps repeating that you should tell him if you need anything, but at the same time, he “doesn’t do chit chat” and wants to leave if there’s nothing for him to do.

Because Diluc knows he’s not easygoing or fun to be around. He has his charming brother who makes it seem effortless to compare himself with. He knows he’s kind of awkward, intense, brooding and direct to the point of coming off as rude. So he needs to feel like he’s doing something useful for you to justify spending time with you.

So for his first time, don’t tease him verbally. He’s incredibly teasable, I know. But he’s already very anxious about disappointing you even if he tries to hide it and he was conditioned to clamp up at the first sign of perceived mockery by his troll brother. Show him first how good it can feel before you start playing with him.

also, he obviously has a praise kink that he’s not even aware of. like, it’s not even up for discussion, praise from other people and approval from his dad are literally described as his main motivations

“The praise he received from his comrades and citizens spurred him on. But the words of praise he valued most of all were: "Good job. Now, that's my son." His father's words fueled the fire inside his heart and served as his greatest motivation.“ and sure, after he lost his dad and emotionally closed off, he doesn’t allow himself to rely on approval of others. But it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want it.

You can tie his hands, but honestly I think it’s much more fun to just order him to keep his hands up. He’s so stubborn, it’ll be a matter of pride for him to keep his composure. And it will also make it that much more delicious to see it finally break.

When you tell him that he must ask for permission to finish, he just scoffs. He’s so sure he wouldn’t be reduced to that.

Don’t expect him to dissolve into stereotypical meowling and begging when you first start touching him. Again, he’s much too stubborn. He’s coming into this defensive and he wants to be in control of himself.

But hear me out - it actually makes it more fun to tease him. Diluc tries to keep himself still, but no amount of willpower will make him less sensitive and, again, touch starved to hell and back.

So at first, it’s the little things that betray him. How when you kiss his neck, his throat moves under your lips in a shaky intake of a breath, How the taut muscles of his scarred arms flex when you run your hands over his chest. How he draws in his stomach when you slide your fingers down it, slow, tantalizingly slow, making light patterns with just your fingertips. How he avoids your eyes because you haven’t even touched his cock yet and he’s already so obviously, painfully hard.

He has a beautiful cock, big and with a nice curve, and as for all pale redheads, it becomes brilliantly red when aroused. When you finally touch him, slowly stroking it up from the base to the tip, he draws in a breath through the clenched teeth and squeezes his eyes shut. You watch him struggle as you start pumping his dick faster and faster, his jaw clenching, his breath and heartbeat quickening, sweat beads forming on his forehead, his shoulders and hips flinching as he tries to keep himself from arching up and thrusting into your hand.

He’s fighting a losing battle and both of you know it by now. You could break him right here if you wanted. You squeeze and rub the sensitive tip of his cock, and see him open his mouth in a silent, chocked gasp for air. He manages to keep himself from clenching his fists, but his knuckles whiten when he desperately scraps his fingertips against the bedsheets.

But you don’t want him to feel like he lost a fight, it’s not about that, it was never about that. Even shame should feel good. You caress his high, sculpted cheekbones with your thumb, your other hand still on his cock. “‘Luc, look at me.”

He can’t disobey you, but he has to take a deep breath before he can open his eyes. He meets your gaze, anxious. What’s he going to see, mockery over how pathetically quick he’s breaking down? Disappointment for how bad and inexperienced he is at this? Just a cold, severe rejection?

“You look so beautiful, baby,” you tell him quietly and breath catches in his throat, his pupils widening, his cock twitching in your hand. You kiss the trail from his sharp jawline up to his ear, allowing him to turn away. “Do you enjoy this? Do you want me to keep going?" you smile warmly when he whips his head back to look at you and meet his dazed crimson eyes. “I just want you to feel good.”

This reframes the entire scene for him in a one fell swoop, turning it upside down, leaving him disoriented. It wasn’t a challenge that he was losing, or a trial that he was failing, him giving in to his desires was what you wanted all along? You enjoy seeing his pleasure, even if he’s not being useful to you in return? It seems impossible to him, yet when you look at him like this, when you touch him like this, like he’s precious and wanted, when he knows he’s broken and undeserving… it feels intoxicating and liberating at once, in a way he couldn’t imagine before. He realizes at this moment how badly he wants this, even if he still doesn’t understand how far he’s willing to go for it.

“I… ugh, I… like it,” Diluc swallows harshly, his mouth suddenly dry, and if you thought he was blushing before, now the pink dust on his cheeks turns into a brilliant scarlet glow, covering his face, neck and even top of his shoulders. He clearly wants to look away in embarrassment, but makes himself hold your gaze. “If you… enjoy this too and… want to go on…”

You rake your eyes over him, sprawled in front of you, and smile, meeting his gaze again. “Of course I enjoy it. You look so fucking hot like this.” his eyes widen and his lips part, you can feel his tip leaking in your hand, his entire body strung up like a bowstring. He doesn’t know what to answer and he couldn’t talk even if he did, so when you lower your head down to kiss him he answers eagerly, with passion and gratitude he can’t express in words. You start pumping his cock again, now faster and with a firmer grip, and drink in his abrupt gasp against your mouth, as he freezes for a second and then returns the kiss with twice the abandon. This time he doesn’t try to fight it, his body trembling under you, his hips bucking up to meet your hand, his hands closing into fists, toes curling.

He breaks the kiss when you twist your palm against his pulsing tip, and he cries out, low and strangled, his entire body arching up, but his unfocused eyes find yours immediately, his gaze frantic, almost feverish. He’s going far outside his comfort zone, he’s relinquishing control and he’s so unused to this, he trained himself for years to do the opposite of this, to see it as a failure, so he needs your repeated reassurance to soothe his anxiety, to prove he didn’t imagine your desire few moments ago.

You lean down to him without breaking eye contact. “You’re doing so good, baby. You’re being so good for me.”

It shoots through him, bypassing the brain entirely, through the entire nerve system and right down to the cock, like only discovering a kink you were entirely oblivious to before can. His body goes rigid and he comes, with a choked, shuddering groan.

You stroke him through it, until he limply falls back on the bed, spent and panting. He reaches for you and you let him pull you in, hold him while he’s coming back to his senses, run fingers through his soft hair. When he opens his eyes, he looks at you with a small, almost sheepish smile, and it’s impossible to resist kissing him.

“Are you okay?” you ask, stroking his cheek and he leans into your palm.

“Yes, I’m fine,” he answers immediately, then realizes how it sounds and tries to correct. “I mean, I’m better than fine. I’m... I feel good.”

You chuckle and his eyes flicker to watch your mouth, then throw you a glance from under half-lowered lids. It’s enjoyable seeing him open like this, but what you really want is seeing him come undone. He doesn’t look tired and you know he can go on for much longer, but today it’s more a question of mental state than stamina.

“You want to go for another round?” you ask softly him and he blushes lightly.

“Well, I did technically… um, break a promise to ask for permission in the end,” he says with the same small smile that grows even more sheepish as he tries to avoid admitting he desperately wants more. “So it’s only fair if I remedy that.”

“Oh, of course. Honorable as always. So noble of you, Master Diluc,” you run your fingers over his abs, spreading cum all over them, and his brilliant blush returns in full force. But he doesn’t stop smiling, trusting your good intentions, that you’re mocking the hierarchy of ranks and not him personally. You kiss the corner of his mouth to reassure him, and his smile grows wider.

“Well, you can’t be successful in the commercial trade if you’re not answering for your obligations,” he says, trying and failing to keep a straight face. He really does recover very quickly, you think, if he can already banter. “The Wine Guild would kick me out if they learned I’d backed down on a deal.”

“Well, at least I know I can complain to the Wine Guild if you misbehave then,” your voice is still light, but you catch his chin and lift it up firmly, and he tenses up immediately.

He looks up at you, eyes intense as always, but now glittering in anticipation and tracking your every move, bangs tousled and lips parted for you to claim. You kiss him, messily, greedily, slide your fingers to the back of his head and pull on his hair, forcing him to expose his throat for you. You leave the trail of sloppy kisses and scraped teeth down from his jaw to the collarbones before you let go of his hair and allow him to collapse.

When your hand finds his cock, it’s already half-hard, throbbing. red. This time, you don’t go slowly, you grab it and start pumping it fast. He shudders, still so sensitive after a recent orgasm, and instinctively tries to close his legs.

You don’t force them open, instead, you catch his chin and meet his eyes again. “No,” you say slowly. “Open up for me.”

The thing about Diluc is that he doesn’t do anything by halves if he sets his mind to it. Once he opens up, he burns for you with the same single-minded dedication as he does fighting enemies in the night. He might not know how to ask for help, pleasure or affection, but he sure knows how to give and to give everything he’s got. Do not ask to have him if you want anything less than the whole.

He grits his teeth, his eyes smoldering crimson, and forces himself to spread his legs again, against his basic reflexes. The touch to his overstimulated dick is painful and igniting at the same time, it feels equal parts wrecking and delightful.

You smile and praise him and pump him even harder and faster than before, and he trashes in front of you, muttering a litany of half-choked curses, throwing his head from side to side, hands clawing at the sheets, thighs shaking, but staying open.

You asked for him and you shall have him, no matter what.

It’s still not enough for you, though.

You sprawl on your side against him, circling one arm around his shoulders, still stroking him with the other. The fight goes out of him. He blindly leans into you, trembling, a small whine caught in his throat. When you kiss him, his mouth is soft and pliant, but his hands clutch at you desperately, like a drowning man trying to hold on to the solid ground.

It drives you crazy to watch him writhe under you, completely unravelled, glowing brightly from feverish desire, scarlet silk of his tangled hair sprawled on the sheets, his hips bucking frantically into your hand.

You whisper sweet, tender praises to him, caress his face, neck and shoulders like he’s the most precious and fragile thing in the world, at the same time as your other hand relentlessly winds him up, squeezes his overstimulated, pulsing cock harshly, twists the leaking tip. The pain punctuates desire, a delirious contrast of torturously sweet and deliciously cruel.

His fingers dig into you, holding you close. He presses his face into the crook of your neck, clings to you, seeking comfort and shelter from the same sweet, unbearable torture that is also inflicted by you. The pleasure melts him, but the pain splits him open, wrecks him to the core, he wants this to end, and he wants this to never stop. More than anything, he wants to be yours.

“Fuck, look at you. You’re perfect,” you tell him and you mean it.

He breathes in through his mouth, drawing in your scent. “Please,” he gasps so quietly, you could’ve missed it if not for his lips moving against your neck. “Please, let me…please…”

Next time, you might demand more. Next time, you might make him spell it out completely, what exactly he begs you for. But this is his first time and he was already so brave for you.

“Yes, baby. You’ve been so fucking good. Come for me.”

He comes immediately and so hard, his entire body is shaking, the strangled scream caught in his throat. You keep stroking him, letting him ride it out through increasingly frantic and desperate thrusts, squeeze every last drop out of him until he collapses, limp and shivering, but still clinging to you.

You hold him, stroke his hair and kiss his forehead, whisper to him softly until he stops trembling and his breath evens out. You realize that he’s too weak now to get to the bath, so you stand up to get something to help, but he reaches out, catches your wrist immediately.

“It’s okay, I’ll be back in a second,” you promise. After you clean him up with a wet cloth, he pulls you in and curls around you so possessively and needy, you can’t help but smile. He’s fighting a losing battle to stay awake, the endless sleepless nights finally catching up with him, now that he lowered his guard for a moment and let his body feel alive. But there’s one thing he needs to ask, suddenly apprehensive now that the rush of lust passed.

“Did you… Was I… Ugh, damn. Would you perhaps?..” he stumbles over his words, not knowing how to phrase his concern that he wasn’t good enough for you and you just indulged him. You stop him mercifully.

“I *did* enjoy it. You *were* incredible. And yes, I would very much love to do this again.”

“Oh,” he says, relaxing against you, the same precious small smile appearing on his face again, now more content than sheepish. You chuckle, stroking his face.

“Besides, you did break my order to keep your hands up. You’ll have to suffer the punishment, or the Wine Guild will need to hear about this.”

He snorts indignantly and blushes at the same time. For the first time in many, many nights he falls asleep with a light heart and a smile still tugging at his lips.

[problematicbyler]

i think people misunderstood me a little with the other ask lol. by saying "this stuff didn't happen in harry potter fandom" i meant no one was judging people for engaging in smut content. not that i know of anyway. i myself have read so many harry x ginny smut that holy water cannot save me lmao

on the byler tag some uers like to offer many creative variations of the word creep to refer to us, some of them being "we watched them grow up" (i can see why this can make some ppl uncomfy and i respect that as long as you don't force your personal opininon as the correct and only one) "these are teenagers you are sexualizing when you're an adult"

those things also apply to harry potter but i never came across anyone trying to cancel people the same way puritan bylers do.

I know what you meant, Nonnie!! We were just responding to the fact that another Byler somewhere in the tag did in fact argue that sexualizing teen characters didn't happen in other fandoms such as HP/PJO/etc when it very clearly did.

Not to be like *shakes fist* kids these days but I do think the anti mindset is a much more recent thing. If I'm correct in my fandom history, it really broke out with Sheith vs Klance in the Voltron days. But it's also just younger folks who don't know how to be in fandom, or folks who are mostly normies delving into Ao3 and then being surprised when the website for "freaks" has freaky shit on it. Or folks who are used to algorithms that put things on their feed instead of them having to curate their own feeds. It doesn't help that Stranger Things is a lot of people's first real fandoms.

IDK, it's a lot of factors, probably. I grew up in the Supernatural fandom where a large portion of fans were Wincest shippers and I learned very early how to filter tags, what ship-and-let-ship was, don't like don't read etc. I don't feel like many in the Byler fandom have really learned those things.

[longeyelashedtragedy]

Frank James Lampard OBE 👀

ougughgh, you whipped out the order of the british empire? 🫡 😳 maybe i was wrong to judge them teaboos back in the superwholock days (that's a JOKE)

@protect-daniel-james i'll respond here but i might use your ask to post some more Photos cause i'm not sure how to pick just one photo of the Long Eyelashed Tragedy

favorite thing about them: uhhh...so much? he gets me right in the FEELS, man. he tells on himself constantly and seems to be completely unaware. sadboi footballer with pretty dead eyes who loves to Read and took a little notebook with him on the team bus. the intersection of having it easy/privileged childhood & traumatic things that shouldn't have happened--i relate. exhilarating to watch his old performances and he seems like he'd be fun to have a conversation with. fascinating to analyze, this all feels sort of reductive...i'm very Fond of him and some of it is hard to put into words, but i feel very "what's not to love?" about him lol. and he has such a Narrative. he's very easy to write about though it probably doesn't turn out well at all (sounds great and deep in my head though)

also i find a lot of footballers hot but don't really experience significant attraction to them but he is an exception you know what i'm just going to end this here

least favorite thing about them: he lost weight after everton BOO HISS

favorite line: omg, frank james lampard OBE is funny because he's often so intelligent and articulate and then just whips out the WEIRDEST/most cringe thing out of nowhere. some examples:

-his "fight" with klopp on the touchline

THIS wtfery:

these BANGERS:

this classic example of childhood trauma "too old when you're young and too young when you're old" (what some ppl would call "entitled male athlete" but like..i know better than that lol). it's also just patently RIDICULOUS he was like 36...bolding is mine for the classic lines

But it was while on a night out in Manchester during pre-season that the ex-West Hamer star showed his new American team-mates exactly how ex-Premier League stars like to party.

Columbus Crew centre-back Josh Williams was with NYCFC at the time and he told the story to the Athletic.

...“This place is packed, multiple levels. And as soon as we walk in, you could see everybody recognise Frank. And it’s just me, my teammate and Frank and all the energy is just on him.

"He picks up a bottle, this huge bottle of Grey Goose, picks it up, opens it, just starts downing it. Passes it to me and goes, ‘Boys, we’re not putting this down until it’s fucking gone.’”

The trio passed the bottle around three times when the rest of NYCFC showed up.

After about an hour in the club, Lampard approached Williams and asked him about 'that game you Americans play where you throw the little balls — he’s talking about beer pong.'

ok let's see...

brotp: random one but i recently learned that he and ian wright are friends? and i just love that so much both as a gooner and a person. wrighty complements him well and is very...respectful lol. if we consider lamperry to be only one-sided romantic, then definitely lamperry

notp: franko x steven gerrard...there's only One situation in which i've enjoyed that ship (and it was an au). it does nothing for me normally, and i personally don't find stevie g attractive, so! again, it's like an "ew get it away from me" notp, it's just not my vibe.

otp: i mean...lamperry requited. franko x cousin jamie jamie jamie ....maybe someday they can give romeo and juliet their happy ending. and of course, frank and mason...i just really like this ship so much and it keeps my brain so entertained...even though it's not "healthy" and doesn't end well. these ships are all SO good!!!

random headcanon: oh gosh idk...i don't think i have any "headcanons" because everything he says and does in public just kind of tracks. bet he's done coke lol. idk

unpopular opinion: HOO BOY!!! here we go!!! i am aware that i have a wooby nature, but i actually like that about myself. i'd rather approach someone--anyone with softness and then tone it down when i decide they're a dick, than be uncharitable for no reason. that's my way and that's how it's gonna be! so that said...franko gets accusations of "arrogance" and i...i don't see it at all. it might come from his disingenous press conferences at chelsea and everton, but i see that as a man who has horrid self-esteem, was used to being treated by media and fans like a Starboy, and once he started doing badly, had no idea how to handle professional failure--not one single idea. remember on "diary of a ceo" over the summer when he said his first chelsea sacking was the first time he's ever failed professionally? that's insane. Like, imagine making it to age FORTY-TWO and not having a legitimate school or career disaster. that's insane to me. so he just put up a front and got cranky and defensive and funky about where he placed the blame (and to be honest--he has not done a good job as a manager, but he also wound up in some pretty dismal positions. taking chelsea caretaker manager was really shooting himself in the foot because that season just needed to be put out of its misery lol). i'm not saying he's a bastion of humility, or some misunderstood coaching genius, but i don't see him as any more or less arrogant than someone else. idk--i see a weird level of contempt for him that doesn't really feel deserved? he's just a sad sack. sort of a hubris tale in a sense, but also a tale of a man who is still stuck as a kid in some ways...i need to stop before i write a really bad dissertation lol

uh that said...

song i associate with them:

finally a footballer i can give a good answer to this for!!!

name me a better combination than me x lamps x pink floyd x this summer! comfortably numb, shine on you crazy diamond (all of it, but particularly sections vi-ix), wish you were here...

(i know this sounds basic...i know there are more i'm not remembering)

"money" in some ways because i listened to it while writing "visited upon the sons" (it hit me afterward that the fic and the song are structured in the same way...the chicken or the egg?)

from the oooold first days of the lampardverse:

behind blue eyes/a well respected man

also! wouldn't it be nice kind of reminds me of him and cousin jamie loool

favorite picture of them:

dude idk! i really love looking at photos of him! this is granit levels of difficulty...i Cannot choose so let's go with this sad sack from the blessed everton days:

[quensty]

hello all. as u can see ur assassins failed to kill me last night so i'm back to clogging ur dash w a tag game.

i was tagged by @moondal514 (hi bestie <3) to answer 20 questions tailored for fic writers. moondal my love u will regret giving me this opportunity <3

🪿 how many works do you have on ao3?

36! i've been existing in the mid-30-ish range for a good while now. it's starting to piss me off. i post things and then get scared they suck and delete and the cycle repeats.

🪿 what's your total ao3 word count?

153,155 *pops champagne*

🪿 what fandoms do u write for?

am i supposed to list all of them? i'm not doing that 😑🤚 if ur interested ya'll can check out the list here

🪿 what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

men abort mission is definitely my most popular fic (10,856 kudos, it's deeply embarrassing). then it's your crown of thorns holds roses (5,153 kudos, slightly less embarrassing); right hand on his rifle (522 kudos, still embarrassing but at least it's much better writing); kiss me like a snapped guitar string (480 kudos); and love, war, and other exit wounds (468 kudos, which is fucking news to me. i had no idea the kudos had climbed that high)

🪿 do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i do! i like it :D i like ppl to see that i saw their comment and appreciated it. i also do it cos, like, fandom is entirely abt fan-to-fan interaction. fanfic is no different. the point is that i want to engage w other fans and TALK abt stuff. i think it's fun! i've met a lot of friends this way.

🪿 what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

100% would be altschmerz. i don't fix anything in that fic. in fact i probably make everything worse. logan still dies and he never has a proper relationship w laura and the world still sucks. and i sprinkle in some complicated relationships with latinidad while i'm at it. but i love it <3

🪿 what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

this is a difficult thing to judge cos most of my fics have happy or at least hopeful endings, but i think the fic that has the most rewarding happy ending is keep on keeping on, dean winchester. the first couple of chapters are meant to be absolute hell. but i offset that by ending the story with everyone happy and alive and together :)

🪿 do you get hate on fics?

no i am perfect <3

🪿 do you write smut? if so, what kind?

throughout all my time in fandom the answer to this has been no. but then i did this thing where i watched iwtv 2022, and my whole world shifted on its axis. so YES, i do, in fact, now write smut. occasionally. i have no idea how to respond to "what kind." it is gay sex.

🪿 do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

ok when i first answered this question i said lifeboat, a sense8 aftg fic in 2 (if u've read it ur eligible for financial compensation), but i change my mind. most unhinged thing i've ever written is 100% between the desire and the spasm, which, i kid you not, is an all the president's men fusion, which, in case u don't know, is a movie abt watergate. WATERGATE.

🪿 have you ever had a fic stolen?

i feel like the answer is yes, but this was in my quotev days, and that site was exactly what republicans imagine anarchists want for society: complete havoc. anyway! my point is that i think i did have a case of someone copying my work almost word for word during that era, but i was 13 and it was like 250 words worth of writing so i was like whatever.

🪿 have you ever had a fic translated?

YES, i'm very happy to say! many very kind people have translated my work. i'll list them below cos they always do a fantastic job and i'm always hoping they get more recognition for their hard work:

@ghostofair wrote a spanish translation of men abort mission!

@sadluna wrote a russian translation of men abort mission!

@bloodymelonteamua wrote a a ukrainian translation of men abort mission!

@kais_room has very kindly written a russian translation of your crown of thorns holds roses!

🪿 have you ever co-written a fic before!

yes! i actually co-wrote right hand on his rifle with my bff liv (@cabeswater). she gave me a lot of ideas while i was crafting it, so it's really just as much hers as it is mine. i'm very happy w it! i would love to write smthn properly w them someday bc they're a phenomenally good writer

🪿 what's your all-time favorite ship?

this is an evil question wtf. i don't know! amara/me.

🪿 what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

my sense8 au LMAO. i try so hard every few months to get back into the groove of it but it's a doomed enterprise i think. at this point i would have to rewrite it completely, but i don't have the same passion for it that i once did. sigh

🪿 what are your writing strengths?

i don't know. should i know that? maybe dialogue. i can't say whether i excel at it but i can say with certainty that i enjoy it

🪿 what are your writing weaknesses?

i always get impatient near the end of a long project and end up rushing the ending, which is such a shame cos i'm so talented :(

🪿 thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

in huge favor of it! i love doing that. i tend to do it when i write characters that speak spanish, and when it's done well by other writers? UGH. it makes me want to eat my phone

🪿 first fandom you wrote for?

pjo on quotev writing reader inserts ✌️ that is not a joke i'm dead serious rn

🪿 favorite fic you've written?

FUCK OFF. the real answer to this question is a fic i deleted. i loved it so much i deleted it off my ao3 so i could rework it into an original piece and turn it in for my fiction class this semester LOL. trust me though this piece was already, like, 90% my own writing and less "based" on the source material rather than it was "inspired" by it. if u compare me to those writers who made their harry styles fanfiction into published novels i will fight u. if i have to pick a fic that's still up, i think i'd pick either keep on keeping on, dean winchester or a ghost is a memory

i'm tagging @keepoffthetardis, @enterprisery, @weather-mood, and anyone else who wants to do this! if any of u actually read thru this whole thing i'm so sorry

[msnihilist]

fuck just read your take on that jennifer ep and it made me want to watch it again,some ppl say it's super dark for a kids show but dark eps and stories are always fun in ben 10,ngl even kinda hated it when they made it like nothing happened in that eps in OV with carl,why did they have to make everything funny and comedic in there?it would've been cool if we could've saw things more serious and emotional in ov instead of always comedic or annoying lol

OV be like: *unplastics your surgery*

But on a more serious note, I agree with you, kind of. I love all versions of Ben 10 for different reasons. Omniverse definitely makes me laugh the most and I don't think that makes it inherently lesser than a show with a more dramatic tone. Different strokes for different folks, y'know?

I do wish that Omniverse could let something just... be, though, instead of undercutting the serious moments with a joke. Like, the series finale when Ben jumps into the void to save the universe, it's supposed to be this tense, dramatic moment, the climax of the Maltruant arc and the show's themes as a whole... And then Ben says, "I can't believe my last words are 'snot rocket.'"

The rest of the episode concludes in a tonally consistent/appropriate way, but why did they need that line there? To make the six year olds at home giggle over the word "snot"? Ugh.

There are tons of moments where OV does this, and tons where they don't... Maybe it's a writer thing. I've never paid attention to which writers work on different episodes, so I couldn't say.

Example of OV doing good with a serious moment: Ben confronting himself over his feelings of inadequacy/blame regarding what happened with Feedback. No joke to cut the tension, just Ben being open with himself and then being a badass in the fight. 10/10, no notes.

Example of OV doing bad with a serious moment: Everything with the B-plot on Anur Transyl. If the writers wanted to do a boring, tepid "don't judge people based on appearances" subplot for the kids watching, then fine, whatever.

But why did they use Ben to do it? Y'know, the guy who has befriended monstrous aliens before? The guy who holds a lot of pride in being able to relate to so many different species? The guy who really wants to respect and understand everyone?

It would have worked just the same if the aliens of Anur Transyl found Ben to be terrifying. That's fine. But Ben has not only seen way worse, he's been way worse. And then they try to hammer home the "lesson" that Ben didn't need to learn by giving him acne for an episode and making him "ugly"?? (I'm sure none of the kids at home will internalize that going into their teen years.)

Bleh. Just bleh. Hate it.

I like when OV is silly when it's okay to be silly. I like when they're serious when it's okay to be serious. I just wish they had learned that there's a time and a place for jokes, and the end of the universe isn't one of them.

[myjunkisyuzuruhanyu]

I sent a message a day ago, (it got lost?) mainly saying this: your reply states as a fact that Shoma's jump should've been downgraded when I never heard this before. And that, imo, Javi was really overscored in both pcs and goe. So I don't think it's fair to say that "correct" or "right" judging could've made any of them 2nd. Paints Shoma in bad light. My 2n point was that I speak Spanish, and I'm not a fanyuu, so I'm not biased in that. I also don't hate Javier, I just think he's shady.

Yes apparently it wasn't send to my inbox. I can't tell why. Sorry about that. If it would habe been sended I wouldn't have excluded it.

Thank you for the reply to make some things clear.

I wrote IF the 4Loop would have gotten the call, NOT that it should have gotten the call of an UNDERROTATION not downgrade (there is a huge difference of BV!) I can't help if ppl read wrong things into my words. My fact is completely different than what you imply. My fact is that judges COULD HAVE decided to call Shoma's 4Loop, which they decided NOT to do, BUT IF Shoma's 4Loop would have been called Javi would have gotten Silver. And it's the exact reason Javi fans who don't like Shoma have stated for years that Javi should have won Silver. (You can watch the video replay of Shoma's FS and form an opinion yourself if it is underrotated or not) (I was questioning the rotation as well on the replay right at the moment Pyeongchang happened in 2018. I will refrain however from saying if I think it was or wasn't underrotated as we as fans don't have the same camera angles etc) (just because you didn't hear it before doesn't mean it wasn't a discussion)

I never used the word "correct" or "right" judging. I simply explained where the "he should have gotten Silver" view was coming from and why Javi when he saw the replays might have made the same conclusion. It's all speculation.

As for Javi being overscored, well...I can agree on that, but as we know not everyone shares this opinion, how much worth does it have? And just like the underrotation calling is judges issue, the GOEs and PCS are too. What Javi scored there and what Shoma scored are ways they have been scored before so as I like to say are in the realms what judges overall at ISU competitions gave Javi and Shoma (and Yuzu too) during all of the Olympic quad. If we look merely at rules then I would say Javi was overscored in that free skate just as Nathan, Shoma, Mikhail Kolyada etc etc even Yuzu to an extent as he wasn't perfect either in this free. So "correct" judging? There is no correct judging, there are rules to be followed and as long as they apply the same rules to everyone at the same competition, it is fair. Does this happen? I dunno...judges do whatever they want...so yes in that sense anyone could have gotten Silver...like I said for the 4th or 5th times now it doesn't mean the result is wrong. And I never said that.

AGAIN RESULTS ARE JUDGES BUSINESS, SKATERS ARE NOT AT FAULT FOR SCORES OR PLACEMENTS.

Still it doesn't matter what I think as my opinion is one of many just like yours, this was for the judges and they made a decision and the result is the result and it won't change and I AM ABSOLUTELY OKAY WITH THAT.

You think Javi even with the call wouldn't have gotten Silver? Ok I see. I think he would have gotten it and I would have called it fair too, you don't. That's fine. We do not have to agree. There is no reason to fight over not sharing an opinion. I just wonder if I made myself so unclear...

As for you speaking Spanish...ok good for you. You can form an opinion about what Javi said about that hole better than I do as I have to rely on translations often with a Fanyu view...so like I said I don't have all the details. And again I also think the comment was shady. As for why exactly Javi said that, it's anyone's guess. You think he is shady, noted this came across well...but I don't share the view.

Can we just agree to disagree now? We're not getting on the same page here...

[rhine-gold-archive]

sub!Diluc x Dom! gn! reader

Warnings: very much not safe for w, edging, overstimulation, praise kink, minors get out of here. But also, some unabashed fluff. Yes, it contains multitudes.

words: 3,2k.

A\n: This somehow turned into Diluc character study, but I promise I will get to the filth after the psychological profiling. also, I know I tend to write in an authoritative voice like I'm stating facts, but these are just my personal opinions and if you interpret characters differently, more power to you.

Listen, i know everyone hcs Diluc as a dom. And he can be a very nice service dom, but I’m here to convince you that sub!Diluc is actually not OOC.

First of all, he’s more repressed than a catholic nun. Diluc is like on six levels of dissociation at any given moment. He sees his body as a flesh suit he’s piloting that requires an inconvenient maintenance like sleep, food and occasional sexual release. He’ll jerk off by himself like it’s a chore. 

Diluc is so touch starved it’s ridiculous, and *he doesn’t even know it*, that’s how much he’s disconnected from his needs.

And like. Helping ppl like that discover what they actually want and watching them come undone in pleasure they didn’t know they desired is so delicious. If you know, you know, there’s nothing quite like it.

But you have to go slow with him

I mean first of all, you shouldn’t mess with Diluc at all if you’re not in for a long haul, this man doesn’t do casual.

Oh, he’ll agree to try if he’s already into you, he’s incredibly indulging to the people he values. But also because at first he’ll be incredibly defensive.

Not because he’s not into it. Just as a defense mechanism, as he thinks he’ll disappoint you and he’s preparing for a failure from the start.

Diluc can see any activity with his important people as a trial where his performance will be evaluated. He is one of these “I need to get a good grade in X which is both normal to want and possible to achieve” people.

Remember the coffeeshop event where he was like “When I was a small child, my father told me to mix my first drink using all of the ingredients in the tavern. In hindsight, it was probably to see how creative I am and I must’ve failed because I just made a fruit punch and my father didn’t say if I did well”?

Like, Diluc. Baby. Honey. Sweetie. Your dad probably just wanted you to have fun in an improvised “take your kid to work” event. He didn’t judge your punch because it was about spending quality time together and letting you play with colorful syrups. Who the fuck would evaluate a small child’s creativity on the first time they mix drinks. You think he expected you to invent Pina Colada?

So yeah, he will see even getting edged as a thing he’s not proficient in, so he’s most likely to fail and disappoint you. And that’s one of the worst things he can imagine.

Because being useful is Diluc’s love language. If you read his voicelines or talk to him in teapot, you can notice how he’s very focused on doing things for you, like he’ll invent a drink specifically for you and keeps repeating that you should tell him if you need anything, but at the same time, he “doesn’t do chit chat” and wants to leave if there’s nothing for him to do. 

Because Diluc knows he’s not easygoing or fun to be around. He has his charming brother who makes it seem effortless to compare himself with. He knows he’s kind of awkward, intense, brooding and direct to the point of coming off as rude. So he needs to feel like he’s doing something useful for you to justify spending time with you. 

So for his first time, don’t tease him verbally. He’s incredibly teasable, I know. But he’s already very anxious about disappointing you even if he tries to hide it and he was conditioned to clamp up at the first sign of perceived mockery by his troll brother. Show him first how good it can feel before you start playing with him.

also, he obviously has a praise kink that he’s not even aware of. like, it’s not even up for discussion, praise from other people and approval from his dad are literally described as his main motivations

“The praise he received from his comrades and citizens spurred him on. But the words of praise he valued most of all were: "Good job. Now, that's my son." His father's words fueled the fire inside his heart and served as his greatest motivation.“ and sure, after he lost his dad and emotionally closed off, he doesn’t allow himself to rely on approval of others. But it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want it. 

You can tie his hands, but honestly I think it’s much more fun to just order him to keep his hands up. He’s so stubborn, it’ll be a matter of pride for him to keep his composure. And it will also make it that much more delicious to see it finally break.

When you tell him that he must ask for permission to finish, he just scoffs. He’s so sure he wouldn’t be reduced to that.

Don’t expect him to dissolve into stereotypical meowling and begging when you first start touching him. Again, he’s much too stubborn. He’s coming into this defensive and he wants to be in control of himself. 

But hear me out - it actually makes it more fun to tease him. Diluc tries to keep himself still, but no amount of willpower will make him less sensitive and, again, touch starved to hell and back. 

So at first, it’s the little things that betray him. How when you kiss his neck, his throat moves under your lips in a shaky intake of a breath, How the taut muscles of his scarred arms flex when you run your hands over his chest. How he draws in his stomach when you slide your fingers down it, slow, tantalizingly slow, making light patterns with just your fingertips. How he avoids your eyes because you haven’t even touched his cock yet and he’s already so obviously, painfully hard.

He has a beautiful cock, big and with a nice curve, and as for all pale redheads, it becomes brilliantly red when aroused. When you finally touch him, slowly stroking it up from the base to the tip, he draws in a breath through the clenched teeth and squeezes his eyes shut. You watch him struggle as you start pumping his dick faster and faster, his jaw clenching, his breath and heartbeat quickening, sweat beads forming on his forehead, his shoulders and hips flinching as he tries to keep himself from arching up and thrusting into your hand. 

He’s fighting a losing battle and both of you know it by now. You could break him right here if you wanted. You squeeze and rub the sensitive tip of his cock, and see him open his mouth in a silent, chocked gasp for air. He manages to keep himself from clenching his fists, but his knuckles whiten when he desperately scraps his fingertips against the bedsheets. 

But you don’t want him to feel like he lost a fight, it’s not about that, it was never about that. Even shame should feel good. You caress his high, sculpted cheekbones with your thumb, your other hand still on his cock. “‘Luc, look at me.”

He can’t disobey you, but he has to take a deep breath before he can open his eyes. He meets your gaze, anxious. What’s he going to see, mockery over how pathetically quick he’s breaking down? Disappointment for how bad and inexperienced he is at this? Just a cold, severe rejection?

“You look so beautiful, baby,” you tell him quietly and breath catches in his throat, his pupils widening, his cock twitching in your hand. You kiss the trail from his sharp jawline up to his ear, allowing him to turn away. “Do you enjoy this? Do you want me to keep going?" you smile warmly when he whips his head back to look at you and meet his dazed crimson eyes. “I just want you to feel good.”

This reframes the entire scene for him in a one fell swoop, turning it upside down, leaving him disoriented. It wasn’t a challenge that he was losing, or a trial that he was failing, him giving in to his desires was what you wanted all along? You enjoy seeing his pleasure, even if he’s not being useful to you in return? It seems impossible to him, yet when you look at him like this, when you touch him like this, like he’s precious and wanted, when he knows he’s broken and undeserving… it feels intoxicating and liberating at once, in a way he couldn’t imagine before. He realizes at this moment how badly he wants this, even if he still doesn’t understand how far he’s willing to go for it.

“I… ugh, I… like it,” Diluc swallows harshly, his mouth suddenly dry, and if you thought he was blushing before, now the pink dust on his cheeks turns into a brilliant scarlet glow, covering his face, neck and even top of his shoulders. He clearly wants to look away in embarrassment, but makes himself hold your gaze. “If you… enjoy this too and… want to go on…”

You rake your eyes over him, sprawled in front of you, and smile, meeting his gaze again. “Of course I enjoy it. You look so fucking hot like this.” his eyes widen and his lips part, you can feel his tip leaking in your hand, his entire body strung up like a bowstring. He doesn’t know what to answer and he couldn’t talk even if he did, so when you lower your head down to kiss him he answers eagerly, with passion and gratitude he can’t express in words. You start pumping his cock again, now faster and with a firmer grip, and drink in his abrupt gasp against your mouth, as he freezes for a second and then returns the kiss with twice the abandon. This time he doesn’t try to fight it, his body trembling under you, his hips bucking up to meet your hand, his hands closing into fists, toes curling. 

He breaks the kiss when you twist your palm against his pulsing tip, and he cries out, low and strangled, his entire body arching up, but his unfocused eyes find yours immediately, his gaze frantic, almost feverish. He’s going far outside his comfort zone, he’s relinquishing control and he’s so unused to this, he trained himself for years to do the opposite of this, to see it as a failure, so he needs your repeated reassurance to soothe his anxiety, to prove he didn’t imagine your desire few moments ago.

You lean down to him without breaking eye contact. “You’re doing so good, baby. You’re being so good for me.”

It shoots through him, bypassing the brain entirely, through the entire nerve system and right down to the cock, like only discovering a kink you were entirely oblivious to before can. His body goes rigid and he comes, with a choked, shuddering groan. 

You stroke him through it, until he limply falls back on the bed, spent and panting. He reaches for you and you let him pull you in, hold him while he’s coming back to his senses, run fingers through his soft hair. When he opens his eyes, he looks at you with a small, almost sheepish smile, and it’s impossible to resist kissing him.

“Are you okay?” you ask, stroking his cheek and he leans into your palm.

“Yes, I’m fine,” he answers immediately, then realizes how it sounds and tries to correct. “I mean, I’m better than fine. I’m... I feel good.”

You chuckle and his eyes flicker to watch your mouth, then throw you a glance from under half-lowered lids. It’s enjoyable seeing him open like this, but what you really want is seeing him come undone. He doesn’t look tired and you know he can go on for much longer, but today it’s more a question of mental state than stamina. 

“You want to go for another round?” you ask softly him and he blushes lightly.

“Well, I did technically… um, break a promise to ask for permission in the end,” he says with the same small smile that grows even more sheepish as he tries to avoid admitting he desperately wants more. “So it’s only fair if I remedy that.”

“Oh, of course. Honorable as always. So noble of you, Master Diluc,” you run your fingers over his abs, spreading cum all over them, and his brilliant blush returns in full force. But he doesn’t stop smiling, trusting your good intentions, that you’re mocking the hierarchy of ranks and not him personally. You kiss the corner of his mouth to reassure him, and his smile grows wider.

“Well, you can’t be successful in the commercial trade if you’re not answering for your obligations,” he says, trying and failing to keep a straight face. He really does recover very quickly, you think, if he can already banter. “The Wine Guild would kick me out if they learned I’d backed down on a deal.”

“Well, at least I know I can complain to the Wine Guild if you misbehave then,” your voice is still light, but you catch his chin and lift it up firmly, and he tenses up immediately. 

He looks up at you, eyes intense as always, but now glittering in anticipation and tracking your every move, bangs tousled and lips parted for you to claim. You kiss him, messily, greedily, slide your fingers to the back of his head and pull on his hair, forcing him to expose his throat for you. You leave the trail of sloppy kisses and scraped teeth down from his jaw to the collarbones before you let go of his hair and allow him to collapse. 

When your hand finds his cock, it’s already half-hard, throbbing. red. This time, you don’t go slowly, you grab it and start pumping it fast. He shudders, still so sensitive after a recent orgasm, and instinctively tries to close his legs.

You don’t force them open, instead, you catch his chin and meet his eyes again. “No,” you say slowly. “Open up for me.” 

The thing about Diluc is that he doesn’t do anything by halves if he sets his mind to it. Once he opens up, he burns for you with the same single-minded dedication as he does fighting enemies in the night. He might not know how to ask for help, pleasure or affection, but he sure knows how to give and to give everything he’s got. Do not ask to have him if you want anything less than the whole.

He grits his teeth, his eyes smoldering crimson, and forces himself to spread his legs again, against his basic reflexes. The touch to his overstimulated dick is painful and igniting at the same time, it feels equal parts wrecking and delightful.

You smile and praise him and pump him even harder and faster than before, and he trashes in front of you, muttering a litany of half-choked curses, throwing his head from side to side, hands clawing at the sheets, thighs shaking, but staying open.

You asked for him and you shall have him, no matter what.

It’s still not enough for you, though.

You sprawl on your side against him, circling one arm around his shoulders, still stroking him with the other. The fight goes out of him. He blindly leans into you, trembling, a small whine caught in his throat. When you kiss him, his mouth is soft and pliant, but his hands clutch at you desperately, like a drowning man trying to hold on to the solid ground. 

It drives you crazy to watch him writhe under you, completely unravelled, glowing brightly from feverish desire, scarlet silk of his tangled hair sprawled on the sheets, his hips bucking frantically into your hand. 

You whisper sweet, tender praises to him, caress his face, neck and shoulders like he’s the most precious and fragile thing in the world, at the same time as your other hand relentlessly winds him up, squeezes his overstimulated, pulsing cock harshly, twists the leaking tip. The pain punctuates desire, a delirious contrast of torturously sweet and deliciously cruel.

His fingers dig into you, holding you close. He presses his face into the crook of your neck, clings to you, seeking comfort and shelter from the same sweet, unbearable torture that is also inflicted by you. The pleasure melts him, but the pain splits him open, wrecks him to the core, he wants this to end, and he wants this to never stop. More than anything, he wants to be yours.

“Fuck, look at you. You’re perfect,” you tell him and you mean it.

He breathes in through his mouth, drawing in your scent. “Please,” he gasps so quietly, you could’ve missed it if not for his lips moving against your neck. “Please, let me…please…”

Next time, you might demand more. Next time, you might make him spell it out completely, what exactly he begs you for. But this is his first time and he was already so brave for you.

“Yes, baby. You’ve been so fucking good. Come for me.”

He comes immediately and so hard, his entire body is shaking, the strangled scream caught in his throat. You keep stroking him, letting him ride it out through increasingly frantic and desperate thrusts, squeeze every last drop out of him until he collapses, limp and shivering, but still clinging to you.

You hold him, stroke his hair and kiss his forehead, whisper to him softly until he stops trembling and his breath evens out. You realize that he’s too weak now to get to the bath, so you stand up to get something to help, but he reaches out, catches your wrist immediately.

“It’s okay, I’ll be back in a second,” you promise. After you clean him up with a wet cloth, he pulls you in and curls around you so possessively and needy, you can’t help but smile. He’s fighting a losing battle to stay awake, the endless sleepless nights finally catching up with him, now that he lowered his guard for a moment and let his body feel alive. But there’s one thing he needs to ask, suddenly apprehensive now that the rush of lust passed.

“Did you… Was I… Ugh, damn. Would you perhaps?..” he stumbles over his words, not knowing how to phrase his concern that he wasn’t good enough for you and you just indulged him. You stop him mercifully.

“I *did* enjoy it. You *were* incredible. And yes, I would very much love to do this again.”

“Oh,” he says, relaxing against you, the same precious small smile appearing on his face again, now more content than sheepish. You chuckle, stroking his face. 

“Besides, you did break my order to keep your hands up. You’ll have to suffer the punishment, or the Wine Guild will need to hear about this.”

He snorts indignantly and blushes at the same time. For the first time in many, many nights he falls asleep with a light heart and a smile still tugging at his lips.

a\n: I had fun writing this, so I might make this into sub!character series. Not taking specific requests per se, but you can let me know which adult genshin characters you’d be interested to hear my take on, both male and female.

[diakamu]

Dragalia Lost’s Main Artist is Promoting NFTs

Saito Naoki the illustrator youtuber is now basically recommending  NFTs to japanese artists (altho he would deny that he is) its so rly surreally bad im embarrassed and saddened to see him using such manipulative logics to justify NFTs and basically hurray to toxic capitalism

In his Youtube video, where he has 750000 followers (note; in Japan, ppl don’t usually subscribe a channel so this is a really impressive number) He did this pseudo “centrist“ “opinion“ rant where he describe “Pros and Cons“ of NFTs. As if.

If you’re interested, It’s the second latest video(as of now) with “600万円($60000)” on the thumbnail. There should be Eng sub.

In the vid, he literally said "NFTs are bad for the environment bc of the huge amount of electricity they use. BUT the smartphone that you use to criticize me uses electricity too! You could've put it down to save the earth lol. but i respect your position. SO you should respect mine!"

by far he's one of the most successful illustrators AND youtubers here AND he uses THAT super manipulative logic How ignorant. There tons of young artists, young like aged 11-19, those artists are watching his fucked up excuse as a rigid one. They are easily manipulated and they go like   "I like his art so his opinions must be rigid!" and then "EVEN IF YOU DISAGREE WITH HIM, BE RESPECTFUL AND DONT EVER EVER EVER JUDGE HIM. YOU ARE SO RUDE" ofc, ppl never hear ME instead because he is Saito Naoki and I'm not

NFT is already bad enough but him using such manipulative explanation to basically look down on anti-NFT ppl even before they appear by saying "I respect your opinion. Even tho you're not respecting mine Smiling face" that neo-liberal toxic-individual-accountablism? is beyond evil. States the "downsides" of NFTs and immediately represents the anti-NFT ppl as "rude angry mobs attacking him JUST BECAUSE they 'DISAGREE'" Almost feels like it's an NFT cult recruit video to be honest.

He was rly manipulative when he selectively avoided to mention anything about the ownership of each art, Like ppl never value the art itself over the popularity of the valid name tag of the artist who drew and posted it originally. and he said “Even I, Saito Naoki did it! so can you!” Like, no shit. You did it because you’re Saito Naoki, the famous Dragali, and Pokemon artist.

When he said “I shall be the successful example, so that fellow artists won’t give up in making money in this low paying environment” He could’ve literally call out the toxicity and begin some campaign for the real change so EVERY artist can make a decent amount of money. Instead he used that “positive role model” excuse to justify joining NFTs.

He is a  disgusting devil.

I loved his artwork btw

And probably will.

But please do note these;

1. Being critical and demanding a real conversation isn’t mean or rude.

2. Artists aren’t good people just because their artworks are good. Their art don’t necessarily represent their opinion, or their rightness. Their words do.

Sorry for my messy english but thank you for reading this far.

[12tardis]

Not That Dress (Newt Scamander x Reader)

Warnings: S M U T under the cut 

 Requested: yes @the-knights-of-saint-gay said ‘I want some dick (personally I think Newt is the pounding type and the reader is moan-in-his-mouth-while-doing-missionary type’  lmao this request still got me SENT- hope you like it love 💕 

 Summary: There’s a particular dress of yours that you know always drives your husband mad. You are having far too much fun teasing your husband but what will happen when you push him too far? Featuring shameless flirt!reader and very exasperated Newt on their honeymoon. 

 A/N: this is straight UP sin ppls I know I know I wrote a lot of fluff in the lead up to the thing - but is anyone surprised by this point? I tried really hard to not make Newt too OOC and I kinda vibe this for him ngl. I stand by my previous statements that Newt is a Hufflepuff through and through - even in the bedroom.  Seriously I feel like I need some holy water IM SORRY. 

 Words: 4611

 Taglist: @moonkissk7     @just-an-auror

 Newt knew he was in trouble the second you stepped out of the hotel room in that dress with a little sparkle in your eyes that told him you knew exactly what you were doing. 

 He should have known you were plotting something the moment you told him to wait out in the hall and that you would be ready in a moment. You’d never had an issue with getting dressed in front of him before though Newt would always face the other way to give you privacy like a true gentleman. 

 This was something you always teased him for, often draping yourself over his back and wrapping your arms around him from behind just to see him blush when he realised you were in nothing but your undergarments.

                                             -    -     -     -     -

 “Y/N, would you get dressed? We’re going to be late”, he croaked out in a strained voice, feeling the warm blush travelling down his cheeks as you skimmed your hands over his chest with a soft hum. 

 “Honey, we’re going to be wed in less than a month. I don’t think you have to look the other way when I’m getting changed anymore,” you chuckled as you pressed a soft kiss to his jaw, trailing your hand over his firm chest one last time before you stepped away from him. 

 “I know but I wasn’t raised to be a Peeping Tom, darling.”

 “Well you had no problems looking at me last night when w-“ 

 “Y/N!” Newt cried out loudly and you could see the blush now working its way up the back of his neck.

 “Oh please Newt how can you possibly be shy after all the things-“

 “I’m NOT LISTENING! You’re trying to get a rise out of me and I’m NOT listening!” Newt called, clapping his hands over his ears and making a scene of humming loudly over your teasing. 

 You smirked to yourself as you tugged on the one dress, the one article of clothing you knew he would protest you wearing, checking your reflection over with a proud smile before you twirled him around by his shoulders to face you. 

 Newt’s eyes widened comically as he took you in and you caught the way his eyes dropped briefly to the neckline of the dress before he looked back up at you with his jaw agape “no no no no no. Absolutely not, anything but that.” he rambled shaking his head quickly. 

 He paused when he saw you glaring at him with one hand cocked on your hip “excuse you Newton Scamander but since when did you start deciding what I can and can’t wear?” 

 Newt actually let out a quiet whine then, looking at you with a pleading expression as he took your hands “I don’t and I can’t- I would never ever I am just begging you- not that dress. Not when we’re going to visit my parents.” 

 You dropped your peeved facade immediately at his pleading, the smug smile returning to your lips “why not this dress? What’s so special about this dress?” You tried to play innocent and clueless but Newt was not having it as he gripped your hips in his hands with a little more vigor than he usually would.

 “You know exactly what you little minx,” he said lowly as he pulled you in against him without warning and began to pepper the column of your neck with kisses causing you to squeal.

 And you did know. You had knowingly Pavloved your sweet, oblivious boyfriend to react a certain way whenever he saw you in said dress. 

 It had been the dress you had been wearing the first time you went down on him and the dress you wore before you slept together for the first time. You’d worn it several times since, when you had initiated sexy time. 

 Newt had eventually come to recognise it as the dress that drives him mental. 

 You pushed him away, looking up at him with a shy smile then because you knew he was right and it really wouldn’t be appropriate to tease him in such a way for lunch with his parents. 

 “Okay okay” you said, holding your hands up in surrender as you reached back to unzip the dress, rolling your eyes when Newt turned away from you quickly. 

 Shaking your head with a fond smile you made quick work of getting changed before you stepped around to face him. You couldn’t help but giggle at the sigh of relief he let out when he saw you were decent because your fiancé may have very well been the most adorable and sweetest man on the planet. 

 You smiled as he took your hand in his own, fixing you with one last exasperated expression before he pressed a kiss to the back of your hand “one day, I might just snap. And then what will you do?”

 “Sit back and take it like a good girl.” you said casually with a sweet smile, giggling at the look of utter shock he now wore. He took a few minutes to gather himself and lift his jaw from the floor. 

                                             -       -     -     -     -

 And now a month later you were on your honeymoon with your husband and you were travelling around the world with him as he’d promised. Currently you were in New York because it was where you had promised to drop in first and catch up with Tina, Queenie and Jacob. 

 You’d immensely enjoyed catching up with the Goldstein’s and getting to see how Jacob’s bakery was thriving and now you were due at the younger sisters' flat for a small cocktail night that Queenie and Jacob were throwing.

 Now you were looking forward to the chance to dress up but Newt had needed some persuasion as usual from the moment that Queenie had mentioned the word ‘party.’ 

 He was sulking in the hotel corridor when you appeared in the dress and you didn’t miss the way his eyes lit up instantaneously before a dark expression quickly passed over his features. 

 “Y/N”, he murmured in a half scolding tone but you were quick to shrug your coat on and take his hand in your own, tugging him down the corridor after you. 

 “Not another complaint out of you, mister. We’re going to be late.” You tossed his own words in his face as you pulled him along. The coat covered you up for the most part and Newt was relieved but he knew that relief would be short lived. 

 When you arrived at Queenie and Jacob’s place Newt was completely distracted by greeting the Goldstein sisters and the sheer volume of people packed into the tiny flat that he missed you slipping off your coat behind him. 

 “Ah Mr. and Mrs. Scamander have arrived!” Jacob called loudly, clapping Newt on the shoulder and you couldn’t help the smile and small flutter in your chest at the use of your new title. 

 “Sorry we’re late, the Niffler was being a nuisance,” you lied so easily that Newt quickly looked back at you where you were greeting Tina and Queenie.

 The retort died on his lips and he gulped audibly as his gaze roved over your form. He broke out of his ogling when Queenie’s surprised giggle met his ears and he glanced at the woman to see her covering her mouth as she looked back at Newt in amusement. 

 Odd. He could have sworn she couldn’t easily read his thoughts. 

 “When you’re thinkin’ em that loud honey I’m pretty sure even Jacob knows” Queenie teased as she hugged him tightly in greeting, squeezing his shoulder to reassure him. 

 “Relax sweet cheeks, you’re recently married to the girl of your dreams and your thoughts are loud with happiness. Ain’t no one here gonna judge you,” Queenie murmured for only Newt to hear and Newt smiled thankfully back at her though he couldn’t suppress the blush that filled his cheeks. 

 “Well I don’t suppose Y/N’s inner monologue is embarrassing like mine,” Newt murmured and Queenie smiled widely at him before she peeked back over her shoulder to where you were talking animatedly with Tina. 

 “She’s just thinking about you. And calling herself Mrs Scamander over and over again.” Queenie laughed and Newt looked back at you in adoration, shaking his head to himself as he made his way over to you with drinks for both of you.

 Not long later you were sitting pressed into his side at a small table listening to Tina ramble on about her most recent case at MACUSA. Newt was finding it increasingly more difficult to focus on Tina’s words as you lay your hand on his knee and slowly began to trail your hand up his leg. 

 Newt jolted a little when your hand drifted a little too close to the growing tent in his trousers and he quickly gripped your hand in his own, glancing down at you.

 But of course you just smiled innocently back up at him, tracing your other hand along the neckline of your dress and Newt had to dig deep to find the willpower to look away from you and focus back on Tina who was still talking about the pile of paperwork she’d had to sign that week. 

 Newt frowned when you worked your hand free from his and wandered away from him, his eyes following you as you made your way to the makeshift bar.

 You were in the middle of fixing you both another round of drinks when a gentleman sauntered over to you, grinning down at you widely “and who is this little heartbreaker we have here? What are you doing fixing your own drinks, angel face?” 

 You couldn’t help but twitch at the pet name because it sounded utterly wrong coming from someone other than Newt. The man in question was now leering down at you with the most obnoxious smirk on his face and your eyes quickly flicked to your husband. 

 Newt had noticed the man immediately as he’d been watching you from across the room and he felt a heat flaring up his neck at the way the other man was looking like he wanted to devour you. 

  He was just about to push himself to his feet and go and intervene as you were preparing to put the man in his place. But Queenie beat you both to it as she slipped between the pair of you, gripping the young man by his shoulders.

 “Patrick, Y/N is a married woman! And I suggest you remove yourself before Mr.Scamander unleashes one of his creatures on you.” 

 The man, Patrick, blinked quickly and glanced over at Newt before he looked back at you and then at Queenie “Scamander? Oh Mrs. Scamander m-my apologies! I’ll be right outta your hair!” He scurried away and you returned back to the table where Newt was sat with Tina with Queenie in tow. 

 You slid back into your seat beside Newt as he curled his arm around your waist protectively, lifting your hand to his mouth and pressing his lips to your soft skin. 

 He took particular care to brush his lips over your ring finger as he held your gaze, twirling the wedding band on your finger while you smiled back at him as if to say ‘yes I know. I’m yours.’ 

 The rest of the room and the people in it faded into the background as you gazed back at your husband, lifting your other hand to play with the hair at the nape of his neck, noticing his little shiver in response. 

 His hand fell to your knee this time and he thumbed at the fabric of your dress as he became vaguely aware of Tina still rambling on at him. Newt looked back at her, nodding along and plastering on a look of interest as he slowly pushed the fabric of your dress up along your thigh.

 He bit his lip when you scraped your nails along the nape of his neck and laid your head on his shoulder, smiling back at Tina nonchalantly as you slowly let your legs fall open under the table. Newt wondered how easy it would be to just slide his hand up between your legs and into your panties an-

 You both startled and sat up straight when Queenie began to choke on her drink violently, a pink blush colouring her cheeks as she looked back at the pair of you while Tina fetched her some water. 

 Newt flushed scarlet then as he realised what had happened. It was a mixture of the possessiveness he’d experienced just a moment before, the embarrassment he now felt along with the arousal that had been coursing through him all night because of you in that damn dress that had him getting to his feet quickly. 

 “I’m terribly sorry Tina, I’m really not feeling well I’m afraid we must go. We will have to resume this conversation another time.” Newt said in a rush as he pulled you to your feet, barely bidding his farewells to Queenie and Jacob before he was strolling out of the flat with his arm around your waist. 

 Jacob followed after you to fetch you your coat but he turned back to look at Queenie who had since recovered from her shock when he saw the two of you had already apparated away. 

 “Boy, Newt must really be feeling ill”, Jacob called out with a frown and Queenie laughed then, unable to stop herself as she took Jacob’s hand in her own. 

 “He’s not sick, sweetheart. More...excited,” she said slowly, laughing again as she watched the realisation dawn on Jacob’s face. 

 “Oh...OH! They grow so fast. It seems like only yesterday he was too shy to even kiss her!“

                                                    -     -     -      -     -

 You raised your eyebrows in surprise when Newt managed to apparate you both back into your own hotel room and you recognised the look of complete focus in his eyes before he was pinning you back against the wall and kissing you hotly. 

 You kissed him back with just as much vigor, trying to lean into him more and letting out a gasp of surprise when he pushed you back against the wall firmly, looking at you with dark and lustful eyes. 

 “Merlin, Newt, what were you thinking about back there?” you breathed out, letting out another gasp as he nipped at the soft skin of your throat at the same time he pushed his thigh between your knees. 

 “I was thinking about fingering you right there under that bloody table,” he murmured lowly into your ear and you thought you might faint then. 

 What had happened to your sweet and gentle husband? 

 “What you have nothing to say now, huh?” Newt murmured as he lifted you up by the backs of your thighs, carrying you to the bed where he lay you down and wasted no time in slotting himself between your legs. 

 “You’ve been teasing me all night- fuck it, all week really ever since the wedding. In this sinful little dress of yours”, he brushed his lips over yours teasingly before he worked his hand up under your skirt “and now you have nothing to say to me?” 

 Your heart was beating wildly in your chest, your eyes widening because he very rarely cursed and at his words you felt the heat and a deep ache building between your legs. 

 You moved to wrap your arms around his neck as you usually would, making a noise of surprise when he let out a growl and pinned your hands above your head firmly “no touching.” 

 You couldn’t deny the way you clenched in response to his rough handling but you were still surprised as you tried to wrap your legs around his waist, gasping in shock when he used his body to pin you to the mattress. 

 “I said no touching” 

 “Well then what do you suppose I do then, Mr. Scamander?” you said in a much brattier tone than you had intended, smirking up at him.

 Which you really shouldn’t have done because that only urged him to fix you with a smirk of his own “I don’t know...I suppose you could just- what was it? Oh yes,sit back and take it like a good girl,” he purred your own words back at you and it was your turn to stare back at him in utter shock and undeniable arousal. 

 He crushed his lips against yours again before you could come up with any more sarcastic retorts, his hand slipping under your dress and into your panties where he pushed two long fingers inside you without warning. 

 You cried out into his mouth as you rocked your hips up against his hand, clenching down on his digits hard in your shock. 

 Newt began to work his fingers deep inside you as he pulled back from the kiss, instead pressing hot opened mouth kisses down over your neck and between your cleavage before working his way back to your neck. 

 “So gorgeous for me my angel,” Newt breathed into your ear as he crooked his fingers deep inside of you, his cock straining and hard in his slacks. 

 “Newt please”, you whined desperately, clutching at his shoulder as you bucked your hips wildly in pleasure. 

 “Please what my darling? Tell me what you need.” he purred, freezing his actions completely in favour of sitting back and looking down at you. You just looked so pretty sprawled out for him, looking at him with such wanton beauty. 

 You whined in frustration when he stopped his ministrations and pulled his fingers free, trying to shift your hips and whimpering when he simply used his forearm to hold you still with that stupid sexy smirk on his face. 

 “I want you!” you whined again and Newt almost felt guilty for the briefest moment until he remembered how you’d been incessantly teasing him, driving him wild. 

 “You have me, baby. I’m all yo-“, 

 You groaned loudly in frustration, tipping your head back at his cruel teasing “oh my stars Newt! I want you. Inside me. Not your fingers.” You were practically pleading now but you were far too gone to care. Especially when he was rubbing teasing circles on your hip with his thumb and you could feel your own wetness on his digits. 

 Newt felt his cock give an interested jolt in the tight confines of his pants at your words and he relented his firm hold of you to reach for his pants instead. He made quick work of undoing his pants and shoving them down but you also used the window of opportunity to rise up onto your knees, pushing him onto his back before he could realise what was happening. 

 You wasted no time in straddling him, tugging your dress off over your head before you crashed your lips to his and reached down to grip his hard cock in your hand. You pumped the hard length in your hand a few times before you settled in his lap, rocking against him with a soft moan. 

 Newt groaned when you began to grind against him, grazing his teeth against your skin as he tucked his face into the crook of your neck “Y/N”, he groaned again when you gripped his throbbing cock again and rubbed the head of it against your glistening slit. 

 You rose up on your knees a little bit, gripping Newts shoulder hard in one hand and his throbbing length in the other and Newt held his breath and closed his eyes in anticipation.

 But he blinked his eyes open again after a few moments passed and you hadn’t moved an inch. He let out a growl when he spotted the teasing little smile you had on your lips and he pushed you back onto the bed in one fluid motion, spreading your legs with his calloused hands and then settling over the top of you. 

 “You just love it don’t you?” He looked down into your eyes as he positioned his cock at your entrance “you love driving me wild...teasing me so I’ll snap”, he murmured as he nipped at your earlobe, running one hand up your body and tweaking one of your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. 

 He relished the small mewl you let out in response as you wrapped your legs around his waist, trying to thrust your hips up towards him and whimpering when he held you down with his other hand. 

 “That boy is just lucky he had half a brain not to lay a hand on you”, Newt breathed against the skin of your neck, marking your sensitive skin. 

 “W-why’s that?” You managed to stutter out, your lips parting a moment later when his thumb rubbed over your clit. 

 “Because only I get to see you like this.” He thrust his length into you in one fluid thrust, letting out a low groan of pleasure and tipping his head back as you cried out from the sudden intrusion. 

 You were gripping his shaft with your walls in the most delicious way as you clenched your muscles tightly around him. “Oh Newt,” you sighed out, your voice high and breathy as you keened at the way he was stretching your walls. 

 It was a welcome contrast to his usual slow method of opening you up bit by bit with his mouth and fingers. Just the dark look of lust in his eyes and the unreserved pleasure on his face was enough to make you a trembling mess beneath him. 

 Newt pulled his hips back slowly until just the tip of his cock was inside you, slamming his hips forward in one motion with a deep groan before he set up a pace of thrusting into you continuously. 

 You couldn’t help your cries of pleasure as he had his way with you, completely captivated watching how unreserved and dominant your husband now was. He was pounding into you with abandon and you could do nothing more than lay there and take it, rolling your own hips up to meet his. 

 “You’re so incredible,” Newt panted, the sweat forming on his brow as he moved above you and inside you. His hips stuttered to a complete halt though just a moment later and you whined in response, trying to understand why on earth he had stopped but then you saw him scrambling for his wand and muttering about a protection spell. 

 “Leave it,” you breathed out without a second thought, taking his hand in your own and Newt whipped his head back to look at you in shock. “We don’t...I’m not worried. We’ve spoken about this already and- well I’m ready if you are,” you murmured as you squeezed his hand in yours, looking back at him with wide eyes.

 Newt stared back at you blankly for a moment and you were worried you’d upset him but then he was pinning both of your hands back above your head and crashing his lips to yours in a deep kiss as he began to thrust into you again. 

 This time he was really pounding into you with a whole new sense of purpose and you moaned into his mouth as you squeezed your legs around him, spurring him on to fuck into you harder. 

 He was handling you far more roughly than he ever had before and you were a trembling mess below him, shrieking into his mouth when one of his hands found its way between your legs again and he thumbed over your sensitive nub again. 

 Newt pulled back at your shriek but when he saw the look of utter euphoria on your face he tucked his own face into your neck, sucking at the marks he’d made earlier while he jackhammered into you “come on darling, let go for me. Come for me angel”, he murmured directly into your ear like he knew you loved, flicking over your clit even faster.

 Your entire body shuddered as the coil in your stomach finally snapped and you came, wrapping your arms around him tightly and crying out into his shoulder as you clenched around him rhythmically. 

 “Ohhh Merlin, Y/N, Y/N I’m gonna,” he trailed off with a groan when he felt the way you were clenching around him, as if your pussy was trying to milk his cock. 

 You were still in the midst of your orgasm when you heard him and felt the way his cock swelled inside you just barely and you nodded quickly “yes come for me, baby. Fill me up,” you murmured before capturing his lips again. 

 Newt rutted into you just a few more times before he finally shattered at the thought of spilling his seed inside you unprotected and the sensation of you still gripping his length. He pumped into you slowly as the warm cum spurted from his cock, filling you to the brim.

 You whined softly as the sensation and stroked at his messy hair  while Newt collapsed against you, panting heavily against your shoulder.

 When his breathing calmed after a minute or so he carefully pulled out from you and you closed your eyes, already missing the feeling of him. He flopped onto the bed beside you and you both lay there, catching your breath, you with a small blissful smile on your face. 

 “Y/N”, he said it so quietly with the most timid tone that you quickly looked over at him in confusion and when you saw the distressed look on his face you grabbed his hand in your own. 

 He opened his mouth to talk but you lifted your other hand to press a finger to his mouth, effectively shushing him “Newton, I swear to everything-you-hold-sacred that if you apologise for the best sex we’ve had yet I will hex your mouth shut.” 

 You looked back at his stunned expression and you moved your finger from his mouth and gently stroked his cheek “unless...unless you regret not using the protection charm. In that case we can reverse it, there’s nothing to worry about.”

  You sat up, reaching for your wand but Newt took your hand, shaking his head before he dropped a delicate kiss to the back of your hand “no it’s not that I promise...I was just worried, I got- I got carried away. You promise I didn’t hurt you?”, he murmured, flicking his eyes up to look at you in concern.

 “Sweetheart I promise. You didn’t hurt me. I would have told you if I wasn’t enjoying it. You have to trust that,” you soothed, gently caressing his cheek and pressing a soft kiss to his lips a moment later. You were constantly surprised by how gentle and caring he was but you were certainly happy to have seen this new side of your husband.

 Newt smiled again and nodded before he gently pulled you into his lap, hugging you close and tucking his face into your shoulder “I love you Mrs. Scamander,” he murmured, smiling at the way you preened at the name. 

 He lifted you into his arms and headed towards the bathroom, and you wasted no time to smile flirtatiously up at him “ohhhh did I hear you say ‘round two in the shower?’ ” You teased winking up at him. 

 Newt rolled his eyes fondly at you, shaking his head “shut it you, that’s enough of your teasing for one week,” he said, dropping a gentle kiss to your forehead and you laughed softly in response.

 “I love you too, Mr. Scamander.” 

-Other Works Here!-

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from The Lost Tomb, part 3

I didn’t mean for this to stray into angst but like the lack of updates with Li Cu in LTR?? I had to do it to em.

Wushanju Crew Chat, 11:05pm

Li Cu: what’s up losers I’m outside

Li Cu: someone come on and open the damn door

Wang Meng: Language:(

Li Cu: fine, someone come on and open the damn door please

Snake Eyes Chat, 7:00am

Wu Xie: hey are you awake? Sorry I missed you coming in:) was finishing up some work. How was the end of your first semester? Did that geology paper go well? Did the food budget work out or do you need some extra money next semester?

Li Cu: yeah about your work

Li Cu: heard a little rumor

Li Cu: about you going through some stuff during ur recent trip

Li Cu: some stuff you maybe forgot to mention

Li Cu: and you told me we gotta check in with stuff, so this is me checking in, okay

Wu Xie: oh? What stuff?

Li Cu: idk just like

Li Cu: THE STUFF WITH YOU ALMOST FUCKING DYING FOR FUCKING MONTHS AND THE WAREHOUSE SHIT AND ERJING AND PEOPLE HURT YOU AND WHAT THE FUCK IS A THUNDER CITY AND NOONE FUCKING CALLED ME ABT THOSE PARTS ONCE

Wu Xie: oh. That stuff.

Li Cu: yeah asshat I’m in the kitchen whenever you’re ready to explain your fucking bullshit. Also you’re out of milk wtf how am I supposed to make breakfast here

Main Chat, 11:14am

Wu Xie: okay so it’s possible I fucked up a little bit.

Wang Pangzi: THERES JUST SO MUCH YOU COULD BE REFERRING TO I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START

Zhang Qiling: What’s wrong?

Honorary Wu Chat, 11:30am

Wang Pangzi: KID IM SO SORRY THAT PUNK IS A TRAINWRECK BUT YOU KNEW THAT

Wang Meng: Welcome home, Li Cu <3 not much has changed, ultimately.

Wang Pangzi: IT DIDNT EVEN OCCUR TO ME THAT HE WOULDNT TELL YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT IT ONCE THE REST OF US FIGURED IT OUT

WAIT HOW DID YOU FIND OUT

Li Cu: it’s okay. not your fault, uncle. Doesn’t matter how I found out. Wait wait hold on what do you mean “the rest of us figured it out” who figured it out

Wang Pangzi: SAY HELLO LIU SANG

Liu Sang: …hello.

Wang Pangzi: SAY MORE THAN THAT.

Liu Sang: uh…so you’re Wu Xie’s protégé, huh?

Li Cu: oh well howdy there homewrecker

Liu Sang: Excuse me??

Zhang Qiling: I think someone on the roof is calling me and I should go find out.

Wang Meng: I would also very much like to be removed from this conversation.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHAHA KIDDO IVE MISSED YOU

Li Cu: all I’m saying is aren’t you the little creep who’s obsessed with Xiao Ge

Liu Sang: ???

Zhang Qiling: Li Cu is referring to a brief period of irrational thought on Wu Xie’s part, where he mistakenly believed you to be a threat to our relationship.

Liu Sang: what do you mean a threat??

Wang Pangzi: WHAT DO YOU MEAN TIANZHEN HAD “A BRIEF PERIOD OF IRRATIONAL THOUGHT”

YOUVE MET YOUR HUSBAND RIGHT

Wang Meng: can you please take me off this chat.

Liu Sang: Wait, so Wu Xie told you about me, but…reading between the lines, he didn’t mention the cancer or anything bad that happened? Oh yikes.

Li Cu: don’t change the subject “Liu Sang”

if that is your real name

Like yeah you’re right abt it but still

just saying

heard you got good ears but I’ve got snake powers

kinda

so like no more funny business okay you superhearing harlot

Wang Meng: LANGUAGE, LI CU. IN THIS HOUSE WE SHOW GOOD MANNERS.

Wang Pangzi: LMAO OH DO WE NOW

Zhang Qiling: Li Cu, this is all unnecessary and childish. Please apologize.

Li Cu: you say that now bruh but apparently you weren’t complaining when he was all “idol this” and “idol that”

oh and hey Wang Meng while we’re here can I show you my business class grade report later bc Wu Xie is all “what matters is that you learned and enjoyed the experience” blah blah all eat pray love you know how he gets and I want to actually discuss areas to improve so that when I take over this joint I do better than Wu Xie? Tho that shouldnt be hard lol

Wang Meng: hurtful but accurate. I’ll bring my best red pen:)

Liu Sang: oh my god. I’m too jetlagged to keep up with any of this.

Wang Pangzi: BEST. DAY. EVER. IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR HEI XIAZI.

Not A Homewrecker Chat, 11:52am

Liu Sang: Okay, we started off on the wrong foot.

Li Cu: I agree let’s start over

Start with how your little prank game almost got ppl killed

Liu Sang: And I seriously regret that. But we moved past that.

Wow, he seriously skipped over so much bullshit but didn’t skimp on mine, huh.

Li Cu: AHA so you ADMIT IT

Liu Sang: I’d like to think I’ve grown since then. That I’ve come to see Xiao Ge as a person and mentor, rather than an idol. I count Pangzi and Wu Xie as my close friends. I’m going to be staying here with them right now, I hope you can be okay with that.

Li Cu: see in my head you were going to be a lot less mature about it and I had a bunch of great follow-up insults planned

Liu Sang: I figured. I’d like us to be friends, though. Or at least not enemies.

Li Cu: okay but only bc you don’t know me yet so you won’t judge too much for this and I need to get this out to somebody I’ve been thinking about it for hours and my friends are still in finals and I’m stressing a little bit maybe

Liu Sang: ?

Li Cu: I yelled at dad

*Wu Xie sorry autocorrect

Liu Sang: …uh huh.

Li Cu: I yelled at him earlier. for keeping all that stuff from me. He started crying

Liu Sang: Wu Xie has been pretty emotional since we got back. Not necessarily your fault.

Li Cu: I made him cry right there at the kitchen sink and it felt like maybe the worst thing I’ve ever done

Snake venom and stabbings, no tears

Me saying I wouldn’t have gone to his funeral, all tears

Which I know was shitty to say but I was really mad

Liu Sang: If it’s any consolation, I think Wu Xie can understand the concept of being led by his emotions to make bad decisions…better than most people.

Li Cu: Xiao Ge came in then and looked weird

Like weirder than usual

Like he didn’t know which of us to be more mad at

Liu Sang: A common problem for the iron triangle, I understand.

Li Cu: I just ran out I didn’t have words right then and I feel stupid

but whenever they come back from their walk I’m gonna say sorry and stuff bc i could’ve come home to his funeral and I’m mad about it but also like. I could have come home to his funeral. I can get mean when I’m in a freakout mood. It’s not like I was scared or anything at all I don’t get scared really anymore ever but just like. Freaked out.

Liu Sang: He’s probably going to say sorry, too.

Li Cu: sorry I called you a homewrecker. Didn’t mean to slut-shame either

Liu Sang: I admit that after the initial shock, it was pretty funny. Super hearing harlot, it should be on my business card;)

Li Cu: this situation with Wu Xie is weird but kinda good ya know. And I have these freakouts sometimes that something maybe bad could happen to this situation. So consider this a shovel talk. But like, also not a shovel talk at the same time.

also I appreciate you saving his life and whatnot

Liu Sang: Noted. Now. Coffee?

Li Cu: sounds sick.

Be in the kitchen in 10. You can pick out what we watch for the household tv show tonight. no way is Wu Xie choosing some dry documentary about gravestone rubbings again. Pangzi just watches real housewives reruns and Xiao Ge won’t watch tv after he caught the last half hour of A Walk To Remember. Also i need my phone now to send some $ to Hei Xiazi since I owe him for…providing some intel

Liu Sang: Not even surprised.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

1/2 "Explore the fuck was that" Xiaoge is not Xiaoge and talking is not the problem here. It's literally everything thats the problem. Also like you I've also read all the books, but failed to put into words why Xiao Yu Liang's and Huang Jun Jie's Qilings didn't give me any divergence from the original character despite the changes, while others did and pretty drastically. I thought it was a bit irrational on my part, but you just sorted it all out so effortlessly I'm a bit jealous

Lol I said the exact same thing, the talking and the phone was not a problem as some say, he has a phone in the book too at some point and talks more than you'd actually think, it's just that literally nothing about him is Zhang Qiling. Literally not one vibe or even tiny feeling. I don't know how that happened honestly.

AAAAAAAAA I saw the smile comments too lmao. I was like who's gonna tell them. Not only he smiles, he's full on laughing in the 2nd book already, when Wu Xie is using his spit as a lotion lmao. And Wu Xie was so happy about, he was like "I saw him smile before, but it was always so bitter and cold, this was the first time he smiled genuinely, he just needs to spend more time with him, we'll get him there" T_T Before that his smiling was legit a bit scary tho, sometimes brash, like when he told him about the stairs and he went "oh really?" haha

I thought about it and I honestly have no idea about the reference point for some people. I think maybe they go from that first adaptation? Maybe they think it's how he is in the book? Idk. It just weirds me out that I feel like some created some their own picture in their head and then judge everything from there throwing "thats ooc" left and right. Like this "Xiao Ge doesn't smile thing". Maybe it's because of the "Poker-face" thing, but do they know that "Men You Ping" doesn't actually mean that, it was just the closest thing you could come up with with english alternative to keep the nickname short (like I doubt it would read well if he kept calling him a bottle xD). Like according to Wu Xie since the very first book, his hubby can't even lie, so he's definitely not a poker face at all. He also gets pissed pretty easily and he likes to fool around sometimes too (like troll Wu Xie and Fatty obviously).

He's also not emo and not the "mysterious hero from some romance", not a stone and not a zooty. I don't know where this all came from tbh.

I can really debate 24/7 about this, but they're 100% Qilings, just slightly changed and softened accordingly to what they'd be like at this point of their relationship, if he did write it in (and I'm like pretty sure I'm right about this). It's the way they behave, how they act in certain situations, how they're with Wu Xie, how they're with other people, the right amount of sass and being done with everything, just the overall picture, the "you're an idiot, but you're my whole world". But also you know, that strange feeling that Wu Xie describes, like "when he's there, everything is suddenly alright" lol (just the magical safety vibe esp in SOP). I literally don't know how ppl who read the whole thing watched them and thought "thats not right". It's the fucking overall feeling of.. yes, i'm watching Zhang Qiling.

Just change the book's impending doom of tragical "you're my whole world, but I can't stay and there's no way for this to work" to "we actually have a future and I want to stay in our home with you" and that's basically Yuliang's and Junjie's versions (one on the way, one fully there by the end). But even if for some reason you can't accept this, I still don't get how some could hate it, cause overall they still have basically everything they need. Unlike others who are way off in my opinion, bc of the weird templates they are.

And about "Explore the fuck was that" (lol I'm gonna use this title from now on) seriously, no offense to this creation and everyone who liked it (no judging here for real, everyone likes what they like), I'm not gonna heavily diss anyone or anything, I don't really care for the thing, just telling the truth. No one who's participated in this thing have a fucking idea about the characters they're playing or writing about.

I mean, as a fan many things that were adapted from books, I already do not care for minor divergence or even bigger once, if it makes sense and you see the care and understanding of the characters, but sadly here it felt like no one cared. Like for example honestly if someone asked me what would you choose "watching wu xie and xiao ge but not 100% sticking to the plot" or "loosely watching the plot, but it's not wu xie and xiao ge", I'm gonna pick the first option.

And some will say that's it's only the writers/directors mistakes for not explaining or guiding actors etc, but to be honest it's not completely true, bc as we know many actors if they really care before taking on the role actually try to do a research about the character and read the material to understand what they're playing. Especially if it's such iconic characters of a franchise Сhina's been going crazy over for like a decade.

Like how the hell happened that Zhu Yilong for example while playing embodied all the Wu Xie's traits througout the whole book series from behaving exactly like young Wu Xie did in certain needed parts to going to the cold, strategic and rational old self in others, I mean, they could've just go with the "Restart" one, where not much happens and he could've played just that. But literally each time he did something, I was like "yeah, that's my boo". And that wasn't the part of this exact book, it was part of Wu Xie. Like the way he behaved, acted in some previous situations that you know its him. That's happening only when the actor knows who he's portraying.

Or Yuliang knowing and loving and feeling the character he plays, because he wanted to know and cared.

It's just strange to me, bc if they're not making it for the fans, then for whom do they even make it? For themselves? It's really stupid no matter how you look at it. Like your success depends on it, so what's the point in sinking your own ship I will never get.

I also do not get how could they just fail literally everything. Like casting was a miss already, but good acting and chemistry and putting character's soul in it could've make it great still, but they have literally none of anything, it's just fascinating to me. I just don't think I ever seen something like that, it's kinda funny.

But this is like once again just my opinion. Like everyone is free to think what they think, but maybe just stop yelling "OOC" without knowing the original character, cause maybe it's not really OOC. Like book Xiao Ge is not exactly what many ppl claim him to be really.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se03, ep10 (part 1)

“ What to do? & how to do it? the answer & the method are so simple, so simple but difficult as hell. it was hard for me to get them, & that’s exactly why I treasure them/ makes them valuable”. kyo~ This is my favorite quote in all anime.

How many times a domestic abuse victim was told just leave this abusive partner? report them? easy. just make a call. Report your abusive parents? tell someone. easy. Just speak up. It is true. It is easy but difficult as hell. To believe it is your right to fight. No, to believe you deserve to fight. to Live. This abuse is not a punishment you must endure. Hope is not dead. How simple yet so difficult to do that. ugh! my heart!

- Seeing Death vs Facing Death: ( The abuser who was stopped):

Abuse is a form of slow death. An actual intentional murder of an innocent soul. Abusers suck the life out of their victims & kyo’s biological dad is the poster monster for that. His appearance:

thin deathly demeanor, lack of nourishment, excessive drinking, lack of desire get out of the abyss, wide eyes, tiny pupils, manic laughter. shaky body movement. pathetic outlook at things.

heavy breathing, lack of logic & distorted facts, blurry speech, bizarre mentality, toxic behavior, tendency to hurt, injure, both physically & verbally.

inability to grasp reality, desire for inflecting pain on others, finding joy in that as it justifies his entire toxic mentality.

Fear of being hurt like he hurt others & being paranoid since he KNOWS he should receive punishment.

Kyo stood watching this man spit, rage, shake, scream. The man from his past, the authoritative figure in his early tender years, the person who must always be right: a parent. Facing his dad, Kyo’s entire gradual change was fantastic:

Kyo went from feeling utter fear from this man, hatred towards him, grief at the loss of a father & a mother, to force himself to stand his ground & not leave” easy but difficult as hell“ , to talk ” easy but difficult as hell“ , to announce that isnt gonna die ” easy but difficult as hell“ to say I’m loved & I want to to be with someone ” easy but difficult as hell”

to then realize the source of his mom’s misery isnt him after all, but this jerk! & not crumble at this realization ” easy but difficult as hell“ to grief over his mom’s tragic life & still announce again that he’s anit throwing his life away ” easy but difficult as hell“ to still look at his dad with pity rather than immense hate & anger ” easy but difficult as hell“ to remove his hand & leave him behind in the past while he moves forward ” easy but difficult as hell“ to say “ i’ll come visit again, cuz I anit afraid of you anymore, I’m not running, but I’ll try to extend a hand if you wanna do the same one day. It is your choice to be the abuser who must be stopped or the one who is atoned! you can choose, dad! We heard his choice as kyo was leaving, didn’t we? locking himself in an eternal cage that he made for himself. After all, he is the monster in his own story by his own choice.

-Seeing death (1): Kyo watching his mom’s suicide is a traumatic experience especially considering she chose such a graphic way to exist this world. Kyo once said to tohru “ mom went flying”, he now said“ mom threw her life away” very graphic ways to explain her death both literally & figuratively. This alone coupled with his father accusing him, resulted in a 4 year old screaming” I’mma yuki & kill myself, this would make you happy, dad”. This explains kyo’s 2 meetings with yuki as kids“ I hate you” at the sohma estate, the 2nd meeting “ I hate you” at the street. Mimicking the toxic behavior of the dad. Why didn’t kyo mimic kazuma? cuz trauma doesn't work like that. Kids can live safely for time then one traumatic experience shatter their self-worth into an endless cycle of self-hurt, low self worth & anger issues or withdrawal. The writing that set kyo/yuki against each other is perfect.

-Seeing death (2): Kyo watching kyoko’s death hammers all the insecurities of child kyo deep down into teenage kyo. Kyoko too, went flying, blood everywhere. too much pain happening again, crashing hope & killing his fighting spirit over & over. Be with tohru? why? to kill her, too?

-Seeing death (3): Kyo watching tohru’s injured body. Yup. You caused this. not by pushing her or failing to catch her. No. but by hurting her with harsh words. by forcing her away from you.

-Facing death (1): Kyo facing his dad, the symbol of deadly-abuse. To stand & announce to live is huge. -Facing death (2): refuse death: being caged till death, -Facing death (3): To say, I wanna be loved & love someone, life is not just being outside, heck! kyo was outside for 17 years! life is abt being with those who give it meaning! -Facing death (4): To not demand others to die as a punishment. Walking away from his dad without igniting the cycle of revenge & hate. ahhhhhhhhhh~~~  Chef’s kiss!

-Seeing eye to eye: ( I don’t need to be you, but I appreciate you):

Kyo & yuki toxic relationship has been ongoing since their birth. The moment kyo’s dad was dismayed that he got the cat of all zodiac & the moment yuki’s mom was delighted she got the rat of all zodiacs. From that moment it became: look how lucky the rat parents? You shamed me? Look how pitiful that cat? eww! stay away from his filth. The explosive nature of kyo’s tragic fate tainted him with the blood of his mom & the daggers of his father’s hateful words, while the nature of yuki’s sheltered & locked fate tainted him with fear & isolation. They meet & both carry out the feelings of rejection & hate all while envying the other. The toxic nature of their relationship consist of fights & condensing words. Tohru connected both. Through her, they became civil. Even talking abt perverted shigure. Now that she is hurt, they are lost without her. Their lives are empty.

Yuki’s “ kyo has his own pain & reasons”  (to not see tohru) is my fave line! even better than all the epic lines after they confess their feelings. cuz this like happened before they connect. it shows that, I see his pain, I get he has his reasons. But whatever issues he have shouldn’t hurt tohru. this is when yuki interferes in kyo’s choices. For tohru. This is also when kyo really allows him to. For tohru. Had tohru nor be part of the fight, kyo wouldn’t even engage in it & yuki wouldn’t initiate it.

-“I wanted to be you!” : Kyo said it first. I loved this so much! Cuz kyo said I hate you first! it is so fulfilling that the truth is now out. From kyo first. Cuz really... that hate was all toxic inheritance from a toxic father & a toxic system.

- “Why do you have to say it firs!” Yuki was mad, cuz he was struggling with it for the longest time. to be kyo. He even mused on how kyo interacted with ppl in school, got himself his own mini kyo. lol. studied how kyo filled tohru’s world just by existing. yuki can't do that for tohru. he looked for someone whom he could do that for! yuki/machi scene at her house paralleled kyo/tohru scene at her room when she was sick (se01, e023) & when they eating the somen together (se02, e02), yuki/machi chalk scene paralleled kyo/tohru scene at the beach where he coaxed tohru to tell her mom’s story (se02, e07). Yuki really was having a hard time finding his true self & accepting it without needing to learn from kyo. It is hard to say “ i admired you” after being rejected by you! so kyo saying it first helped yuki say his after. Also, both boys were hella shocked they admire each other. Like both were deeply shocked! stupid boys! XD

Side Notes:

Kyo’s confrontation with his dad is furuba’s most powerful scene & most well-written one! From the fear of facing him, to talking to him with low voice, to physically stopping him, to the exposed last piece of locked memory abt the mother, to the freedom gained by walking forward! Heck, even how it was weaved psychologically to perfectly mimic children’s self-defense mechanisms & children copying their parents theme. The realistic depiction of abusers both in their most powerfully menacing moment & in their weakest cowardly moment. Top-tier writing! Hands down my fave furuba scene! Can’t ask for better! Can’t even imagine better! genius- writing Takaya-san!

The boys had a necessary fight & confrontation & the yuki’s entire speech was valid & perfect speech. However, as usual, I’m not a fan of how violence is depicted in furuba. I was actually “warned/ ordered” by an anon to not “ sh*t” on the boys fight scene. I don’t know why someone who’d read my reviews would think i’d have anything but love for both boys. I criticize the writing not the characters. Also, furuba fans have always been good to me, I state my opinion frankly & they talk to me! “ talk!”. You don’t have to throw virtual fists over different perspectives on fiction. Talking kindly does magic, also having different opinions is natural & normal for humans.

I love yuki so much, he’s one of my top faves in furuba & I get why the boys would quarrel & throw fists. I get the history between them, the current state of mind, their emotions & mentality & I get it’s fiction & drama that needs its “ OMG” moment. However, I cringe when I see violence used as a bonding moment in fiction in general. That’s just me. I wish the fight was done in a more artistic style without showing that scene where yuki corned kyo & punched him in full view of the screen. (again not hating on yuki nor the fact that they needed to fight). I’m jus saying I didn't need to see a one-sided beat up from a character I love to another one I love. That’s just me again~ feel free to enjoy this moment to its fullest. It’s fiction & I’m not judging anyone at all, nor hating anyone from real life or fiction <3<3<3.

Yuki’s last piece of character development is in my part 2 review! Along with machi. Also, yuki’s Japanese VA was awesome!!

Also, let yuki have deep various facial expressions!!!! ugh! In the fight scene they did yuki so dirty with his hair covering his eyes all the time! then followed by low quality shots of him breathing! Why?! The voice acting sold the entire excellent emotional rage more than the animation! Yuki can look pretty even when mad, heck! screw looking pretty! just give him deep facial expressions to mach his feelings! boy was hella mad like he never was his entire life! always forced to wear a mask or be diplomatic! now he’s screaming his lungs out, you hide his face??? really?? Sigh~ the anime always do this wit yuki, replace facial expressions with hair on eyes or having his eyes without light. I wanna see them expressive eyebrows so bad!!!

Another powerful VA performance was both kyo’s dad VAs! both the Japanese (with his excessive breathing) & the English VA (with his range). They sold the mad abusive character! they gave me chills!

Also, I sound like a broken record, but kyo’s both VAs did phenomenon in the dad’s scene & tohru’s scene. Honestly, I only watch the dub to hear Jerry! I learned his name & would watch the dub for him!

Akito, Arisa, Kureno in part 2 of my review as well.

Shigure/yuki returning home scene is call back to ep1. Ok, everybody loves a call back scene & the full circle thingy. but C’mon! you dont have to copy everything! the walk, the scenery, its purpose, dialogue & all! The anime really took advantage of kyo being missing. XD

Tohru’s dress/top color matches the color of kyo’s old hat (The hat). symbolic of him finding her? As if he did find her when they were children? cool. I love this detail. But i do NOT love this color on tohru at all !! lol. it is so dull on her. The dress style/ design mimics her same dress in se01, ep26 as she was talking to kazuma & kyo fought him. Their first intimate moment after nearly loosing the other. Heck! tohru was even hurt on her hand as well. but the color was a nice pastel yellow. It suited tohru. The hat’s bluish-greenish color matches tohru’s own pajama at home!!!! & kureno’s hospital pajama! T_T... why couldn't the hat be red!!!! a color that both represent kyo & yuki! both were compared to red before~ oh well~~ minor issue~

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

can i say a sort of pointless rambly thing i was thinking about that i can't put under the cut bc i'm on mobile?

jk, i'm not actually asking. ramble below, not edited for clarity. the following is completely unclear and i will not fix it:

i've been thinking about how part of the reason i'm so chill about caryl is bc growing up as a queer woc 99% of my main ships were like, never gonna fucking happen bc they literally couldn't. it was like, "omg, they gazed at each other from across the room, let's analyze the homosexual subtext of this one scene for the next fifty years, that's not necessarily hyperbole." i've watched all my ships fuck other ppl/have other love interests, and i knew that my thing was never gonna be canon, so to see like, one thing being like, "one half of my ship fucked another person several years ago while pining for the other half of my ship," i'm like...#nice, bc that can and likely will be used as a plot point to get them together later on, whereas in other situations i've been in i just kinda had to deal with it. so my impulse when i see ppl losing their shit is to be like

and to be slightly annoyed, tbh, bc the ship is still on track to be canon, and it's like, literally two white heterosexuals, they're prime candidates for juicy angsty pining that actually gets a resolution.

but!

that being said, i recognize that that attitude isn't necessarily fair. for one thing, i'm not the only queer woc (or some variation thereof) in this fandom, and some ppl's impulse might be exasperation instead, bc like, "wtf, even my mayohet ship has dumb fucking drama," and that's valid as hell, and i get it.

and also, i get that, even if you didn't grow up shipping impossible ships (or mulder/scully, bc that's a brand of bullshit all its own), this has been a suuuuper drawn out process where sometimes it feels like they're legit sprinkling crumbs to keep you hooked, just to play you again, and when you are invested in something, like /rly/ invested, especially if it's a form of escapism or hyperfixation or whatever, that can be e x h a u s t i n g. and i get that. i truly do, and while i make a lot of snide comments about the fandom being bonkers, i do get where the bulk of you are coming from (unless you're one of those ppl who hate on actors and esp actresses for just doing their jobs, and attack them on social media, in which case i am very much judging you and you need to get your life together).

i also realize that in the scheme of things i'm still a newbie. i've been here, what, twoish/threeish years, whereas some of you have been here since the beginning, so i'm not as worn out as y'all. but i also think that gives me a bit of objectivity that some of y'all have (understandably) lost.

my positivity is not meant as a sleight against those of you who are feeling negative, but is more of a semi-objective viewpoint (i say semi, bc lbr, i'm invested af in this, so i definitely have bias), and to me the threads of the storyline they're crafting seem sort of obvious.

like, let's look at it, yeah? they have one season left of this show that has been on for over a decade. they need to cater to everyone to give them a satisfying ending, while still hanging on to carylers bc of the spin-off. darylrreah seems like a very calculated move, bc it gives them both something to make abcers happy, while also creating tension and suspense and pining for carylers (i think they might underestimate just how fed up some carylers are tbh, and are banking on us to hang on for one last ride, which, honestly? if they play it right will probably work.)

if they end up doing a dumb love triangle thing, which, without seeing the episode and gauging the subtext i can't confidently say if i think they will or won't, it will ultimately end in our favor. it has to, bc leah isn't going to third wheel them on the bike in the spin-off. we can say with good authority that whatever that relationship ends up being (again, idk if they'll drag it out or not) it will be temporary. which leaves caryl open to ride off into the sunset and then bone down in every state in the united states and in puerto rico for good measure.

it's a lot of cheap drama, but i really and truly do not think it's anything to worry about, and i still really and truly trust kang to not make it out of character. ik ppl still don't agree with me on that point, and i'm not gonna argue, but to me it really does make perfect sense.

and i also predict that they are gonna play it up hardcore in the promotional shit and talking dead, but when that happens, remember it's bc it gets attention. regardless of where the story is ultimately going, relationship drama gets attention, which gets viewers, which gets amc and twd producers nice and comfy with full pockets

idk. to sum up ig i just wanted to clarify that i don't mean any harm with my relentless positivity. my history in fandom has just made this seem like nothing in comparison, bc while ppl are freaking out, i'm like, "oh damn, they're actually gonna get together by the end of this, aren't they? i didn't know that could happen!" and that makes me excited instead of upset

and you definitely don't have to listen to me. maybe i'm actually wrong. maybe i'm completely full of bullshit and am just good at making things sound confident. i got a lot of As on papers in college over books i never read, i know how to bs. but i also know how to analyze, and i while i will be the first to tell you i am not the best at a great many things, i do know that i am good at critically analyzing text while taking into account the context it was written in, and imho all signs point to canon caryl. when, i'm not entirely sure, but i see it happening. if it doesn't then they severely fucked up their storytelling, and that'd just be bad writing on their part.

(if you want proof that i'm good at reading writers'/producers' intentions, consider that i watched like, 8 seasons of supernatural before giving up, and said to myself, "i think they're gonna make destiel canon, but not until the very last second bc they are rly into catering to their fans but also have to consider their dumb fanboy audience so they can't do anything crazy overtly gay," and guess who hit the nail on the fucking head on that one)

none of this is important, but it was rattling around my mind grapes and i wanted to write it down into something vaguely coherent, and where else better to do it than here. i can word vomit and then send it into the ether and pretend i never said a thing. i love this horrible website, nothing can compare

i have no real conclusion to this, it was mostly stream of consciousness, but i hope it sort of helps y'all understand where i'm coming from, and why i am as chill as i am about things. not about y'all. y'all cause me so much anxiety i get physically sick and have to legit block tags, but with the actual show content i'm zen as hell

uh

the end ig?

it feels weird even signing off on this, but w/e

-diz

[blue-mold-gi]

Happy birthday my beloved Noemi <3

I know we don't visit Tumblr as much as we used before, but I didn't  wanna lose the tradition to come here and congratulate you, bc well, this is where all started 🥺

I remember back then I wasn't comfortable with online interaction in English. I was a regular Tumblr user bc I was in the app since a long time ago but when I started stanning  BTS I started to spend more time in this app. I used to read stuff, and I remember the creators used to interact with the readers thru the Q&A option.

Once I came across to one of your sm aus and I liked it so much that I clicked on your page and followed you,  and then I read the other aus that were on your masterlist, to the point I didn't have much to read and started to wait for updates of the current aus that you were posting. I don't remember which one was it, but I do remember it had some type of mystery or clues to resolve, which I liked a lot. You created a space with the readers in which they wrote their theories and also opinions and reactions of the parts you were updating, and it was a beautiful feedback and fun to watch, it was so entertaining and it made everything better (I have never told you but to me you were my fav au writer bc you were so creative). So I wanted to participate and give feedback too, it was a really fun and beautiful community, so despite my insecurities with the English language I wanted to try, and i did bc somehow I felt I wasn't gonna be judged, different than in other blogs.

I used to ask you questions or send you theories by the "~B " pseudonym (to not be -A from ppl yknow), but still I wasn't brave enough to send you a direct message bc I was insecure with the language and shy bc I didn't know what to talk about, so I feared, even bc I thought  that maybe it would be creepy to do, idk I was dumb.

But naturally it happen, I remember you posted about not feeling well bc of a thing that happened and I sent you a DM instead of a question, and from there we started talking.

We shared our instas, we started sending audios in English to practice together, then we started to chat everyday, sharing not only about kpop, anime, songs, movies or whatever, but things in our daily lives... and just like that you became someone so important in my life, I cannot imagine a world where you're not here, at distance, but with me, close in my heart.

I found my soulmate, a person who even tho we aren't in the same part of the world, has seen my best and my worst, my fun and my boring, my happy and sad, and I have seen hers too.

There aren't words that can describe the love, affection and gratefulness I feel for you, but I describe it as soulmates. You complement me, a lot of people think soulmates are the exact copy of one another but it's not, we have different things in either things we like or dislike, things we might think, food we like (ain't forgetting about mangos), songs, styles, opinions, etc, and that's the beauty of all, bc we are there for each other, we have a space of discussion, of learning, of complements, of being vulnerable. And I love that, bc I have grown with you, I have learned with you, and I feel like I'm happy and better and joyful with you.

You're my favorite person in the world 🥺 I have so much love for you, respect and admiration. Because you're so strong, and so damn fucking talented, you're one of the most beautiful (in and out) person I ever met, and I just want the world to see how much you shine.

You mean more than the world to me, and I'm so glad that you're turning one more year, bc even tho the future is not certain, and it's scary, it's an amazing opportunity for big things, that can be self love and grow, and aspects with our personal lives and goals, and also new things that we like and makes our heart full.

I'm excited bc I can be here seeing that it's your birthday and even tho we are far apart, that I can be part of it and share it with you. I'm excited for more memories and to share many more experiences with you.

I WUV YOU A LOOOOOOOOOOOT! A WHOLE LOOOOOOT MI AMOOOOOOOOOR!

And I wish you a beautiful  birthday, hope my virtual hug reaches and that you eat a yummy cake!

Hope big things and big beautiful news come this year to you, and for the bad and ugly, that I hope they don't come, I'll be here for you, always!

I LOVE YOUUUUU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! BUON COMPLEANNO! FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS!

Pd. Lee know is allowed to see you for today only.

@inclebtsmix

[violetsoju]

linnnn I read your little story and agshdhdhd there's pros and cons for wearing masks, I feel safe with mask on, and if I have to take my mask off and eat with my friends my self conscious just shoot straight up yo the sky agshjddjf I'm afraid of ppl seeing my face TT that happened to me too hhhhhh there's one ex colleague from my dept (I admire him cause of his working attitude and performance) that look hard to approach with mask but after seeing his face without mask all I can see is cute chubby face but he's like not chubby overall his physique is quite moderate 😂😂😂 (no romantic feeling involved here) but seriously it's always a surprise or shock after taking down the masks I'm sure this feeling is vice versa hhhhhhhh

yeonnnn i merged your asks tgt to answer in one go, hope you dont mind ♡

i honestly love wearing masks hhhh mainly bc of the pandemic but also i feel more assured w the mask on bc of my acne? i know it isnt a good reason to this but there are and will be days where i'd feel more comfortable w having something that makes my self-confidence level drop covered and hidden from the surrounding judging eyes, and to be more comfortable in being myself w/o worrying abt what other ppl think. sometimes ppl wont say anything or judge but maybe its the low self-esteem thats rooted from it that has me overthinking. but dont worry abt me!! im learning to be at peace w myself by constantly reminding myself that its a blessing in disguise bc you get to see whos the real friend and whos not ♡ and heres to good skin days ahead!

ahahaha the amount of times ive went 'ooohh' in both ways after seeing the mask off is 😂 (i shouldnt be the one judging but sigh heres to future karmas lmao) but yeah having a mask on gives out that mysterious vibe heheh 😌 esp black masks!!!

i agree w respect going two ways between ppl, regardless if the age. i hold on to the saying of if you want someone to respect you, then you gotta respect others first. hmm i guess they were shocked bc usually ppl wld brush it off? or maybe it was bc of my choice of words HAHA but she realised her mistake and apologised in the end so all is good lah :))))) well those wielding their so-called authority and power bc of their age is not a new thing and is quite apparent in some places if we're unlucky enough to encounter them 💀 just watching them on social media is enough for the bp meter to hit skyrocket LOL