#i did not think it was possible but someone peed on the toilet floor at work wtfff

[duoduotian]

tfw everyone has a different way to mark the thing as done and i have to rmb everyone's way depending on who's assessing me next week . um .

[steddiehyperfixation]

accidental eavesdropping (steddie ficlet)

based on this post by @imjust-that-shy. i hope i did this vision justice <3

The doors to the bathroom burst open, and - on some pure, inexplicable instinct and with nearly inhuman speed - Eddie darts back into the stall he'd just been about to come out of and leaps to perch on top of the toilet seat, crouched there like some sort of creature. 

He hears the sound of retching and the stench of vomit fills the air. He holds his breath, wrinkling his nose and trying to imagine what possible context could be behind Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley bursting in here together to puke their guts out. Eddie knows the two of them work together, he’s seen them sharing shifts at Scoops Ahoy when he's walked by. (Not that he often intentionally passes by the ice cream parlor and slows down just to catch a glimpse of Steve or anything… Although who could really blame him if he did? Like, come on, Steve in that uniform? Hello, sailor.) His mind is busy spinning stories of possible explanations, ranging from spoiled ice cream to sneaking alcohol and getting too drunk during their break. 

Eddie's leaning towards the 'drinking on the job' explanation, especially when the retching finally ceases and Robin says something about the room no longer spinning. Those little rebels, Eddie thinks approvingly.

“When’s the last time you, uh…peed your pants,” Steve is asking Robin now, in response to her telling him in a Russian accent to interrogate her. 

Eddie curls over his knees, tilting his head to try to peer through the gap between the stalls and the floor to put an image to his eavesdropping. Might as well, he’s kind of stuck here and there’s really not much else he can do right now. He can see Steve’s legs, one bent and the other stretched out in front of him, and Robin in the stall past him laying on the floor with her legs up against the stall wall as she answers, “Today…” 

“What?” Steve questions.

“When the Russian doctor took out the bone saw!” Robin says. 

Okay…what? Russian doctors and bone saws? Eddie’s now thoroughly intrigued, if a little (okay, a lot) confused. Maybe they’re talking about a movie they watched or something.

Steve’s legs shake with his laughter. “Oh my god.” 

“It was just a little bit, though.” Robin pinches her fingers together as she twists her body in Steve’s direction while he laughs again and mutters that whatever it is they took is still in her system. She pushes her feet off the stall and slides to sit against the opposite wall. Eddie can only see her legs now. “Okay, my turn. Have you…ever been in love?” 

Steve answers that he has, with Nancy, and makes a sound mimicking an explosion. Eddie remembers that, remembers seeing Steve and Nancy being all touchy and cute in the hallways at school while he was trying his damndest to convince himself that he absolutely definitely did not wish he was in Nancy’s place. It didn’t work very well. And it’s not working very well now either as Steve starts to go on about some new girl he likes now instead - some girl who’s funny and smart and can crack secret Russian codes (okay, seriously, what is it with these two and Russians?) and oh shit, he’s talking about Robin. 

Eddie very suddenly feels like he should not be here listening to this, eavesdropping on Steve confessing his feelings for someone. Not only is that, like, a private and personal thing, but also what if Robin likes him back and they start kissing or something right here in this bathroom where Eddie has to sit here and listen to it and that would just be horrible for him for so many reasons and- Eddie’s getting ahead of himself. Robin hasn’t even said anything yet, and her knees are pulled up to her chest and her voice shakes when she confirms she’s still alive after Steve asks if she’s OD’d there in the silence and she uncurls with a deep sigh. All signs that she doesn’t actually like Steve back. 

Eddie watches as Steve shifts and slides under the stall into Robin’s, and catches sight of the nasty bruise marring nearly half of Steve’s otherwise beautiful face as he does so. Now concern has been added to the list of emotions this eavesdropping experience has rollercoastered him through so far. The bruise looks fairly fresh and Eddie can’t help but wonder what the hell gave Steve a black eye like that and if he’s okay. 

After a brief spiral of concern for Steve’s face, Eddie tunes back into reality to find himself staring at Steve’s ass as Steve now sits with his back against the stall wall opposite Robin. Eddie blinks, expands his tunnel vision to include Steve’s lower back and Robin’s legs which are also visible beneath the gap in the stalls. 

“It’s not because I had a crush on you,” Robin is saying. “It’s because…she wouldn’t stop staring at you.”

“Mrs. Click?” Steve sounds confused.

“Tammy Thompson,” Robin clarifies. “I wanted her to look at me.”

Oh. Eddie should really not be listening to this. Robin is trying to come out to Steve, trying to share something deeply personal and vulnerable with him and only him, not knowing that she’s outing herself to an eavesdropping near-stranger as well. Eddie feels violating and intruding. He can’t imagine how he would feel if he found out someone he barely knew had been secretly listening in on him coming out - probably not great, probably terrified. This is something he shouldn’t know, not like this. 

“But Tammy Thompson’s a girl,” Steve says, his tone unreadable, and Eddie’s heart nearly stops, sure his own anticipatory anxiety is likely only just a fraction of what Robin must be feeling right now. 

“Steve…” 

“Yeah?” A pause. “Oh,” Steve’s voice goes soft. “Oh… Holy shit.” 

“Yeah,” Robin sighs. Eddie can see her hands nervously rubbing at her shins. “Holy shit.” 

Steve is silent for a few painfully long moments. Eddie’s hands curl nervously around his own shins. Is Steve going to be homophobic? Should Eddie be worried for Robin now? 

“Steve, did you OD over there?” Robin asks, trying to be light but Eddie can hear the anxiety in her voice. 

“No, I just, uh- just thinking,” Steve responds. 

“Okay…” Robin’s voice is barely audible. Eddie is holding his breath.

“I mean, yeah,” Steve says finally, “Tammy Thompson’s cute and all, but the only reason I never gave her the time of day was because I was too busy staring at Eddie Munson.” 

The aforementioned Eddie Munson releases the breath he’d been holding with an involuntary squeak and claps a hand over his mouth. Thankfully, neither of them heard him over the sound of Robin shouting. “What?! Eddie Munson?! You liked Eddie Munson?” she squawks, voicing Eddie’s own stunned thoughts perfectly.

“Yeah,” Steve confirms casually, completely unaware that he's throwing an eavesdropping Eddie into an absolute crisis right now. There's a soft thudding sound like Steve's hitting the back of his head against the stall wall. His voice gets kind of wistful, almost dreamy, as he says, “His rings, man. Rings and tattoos…and that long hair and those chains he'd wear… Honestly just his whole punk aesthetic thing had me mesmerized.” 

“Pretty sure he's metal, not punk,” Robin corrects him. 

Thanks, Robin. Also, what the fuck is happening right now? 

“Whatever. Still hot as hell,” Steve says. 

Eddie squeaks again and practically shoves his whole fist in his mouth to keep himself from making any more noise, his teeth knocking against his rings. The rings Steve likes, apparently. He feels like he's going to pass out, his heart beating so erratically it's making him lightheaded. King Steve - the popular, preppy, stupid, gorgeous, dumb jock Eddie's been crushing on since forever - just called him hot????  

“Did you hear that?” Robin asks suddenly, voice low and cautious. 

Shit. 

“Is anyone else in here?” Steve calls out. 

Fuck. 

Eddie bites down hard on his knuckles and holds his breath, going impossibly still. If they get up and search the bathroom, then he’s about to be caught red handed, crouched on top of a toilet seat with his fist in his mouth and his face flushed scarlet, eavesdropping on their private conversation about secret Russians and gay crushes. Eddie contemplates falling into the toilet and attempting to flush himself down it. Every god imaginable is receiving a silent prayer from him right now as he watches apprehensively through the gaps in the stall. One of those gods must've heard and taken pity on this poor gay disaster of a man crouched like a goblin in a bathroom stall, because after a few horrible seconds of silence, all Steve does is lean down to peer beneath the stalls for a moment before sitting back up and saying, “Looks empty. I think the drugs are making us hear things.” 

“Yeah, probably,” Robin says. Then she giggles, knocking her leg against Steve’s. “I still can’t believe you were into Eddie.” 

Steve flicks Robin’s knee. “I can’t believe you were into Tammy.”

“What’s wrong with Tammy?!” Robin protests.

“What’s wrong with Eddie?” Steve counters. “At least he’s actually got talent. Tammy’s a total dud - she wants to be a singer and shit but she can’t even hold a tune.” 

Eddie is going to die. He is actually going to die right here, right now, because Steve Harrington thinks he’s hot and talented. And then Steve starts mimicking Tammy, singing Total Eclipse of the Heart in a ridiculously goofy voice, and now Eddie is going to die because he finds that so stupidly endearing and adorable. Maybe he should just flush himself down the toilet, save himself from this hopelessly pathetic crush of his. Instead, he’s saved by the bathroom doors bursting open again and a new voice shouting at them, “Okay. What the hell?!” 

Steve and Robin collapse into a fit of giggles before being dragged to their feet by the newcomers and led out of the bathroom, leaving Eddie alone and reeling and struggling to process literally everything he’s just overheard. He finally hops down from his toilet perch and exits the stall like he’s in a daze. He’s not sure how long he had been camped out in there - probably only about ten minutes - but it felt like hours, so long that the world outside of that single bathroom stall almost feels foreign and unfamiliar now. 

Eddie grips the bathroom sink and stares at his flustered reflection in the mirror and whispers to himself, “What the actual fuck?” 

---

Later, years later, only after he and Steve are already dating, Eddie tells him all about this experience, and Steve laughs so hard he nearly cries.

(ao3 link)

[fuwushiguro]

Hi bb, congrats on your job, you deserve it so much🥺🥺

For your event, what about game streamer shigaraki who gets frustrated because he lost a game and takes it out on his poor girlfriend by fucking her dumb🧎‍♀️

Notes: thank you so much snow 🥺🥺 but YESSSS I LOVE THIS OMG!! Although I've had another idea so I'm changing it a wee bit hehe, sorry I hope you still like it!

Warnings: Dubcon, Blowjob, (I think this counts as exhibitionism)

streamer!Shigaraki x f!Reader

Every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday between 7pm and 9pm you are banned from leaving the house. You are the ony who wanted a fucking puppy so you have to deal with the responsibilities. Shigaraki makes you sit in the bedroom for those two hours with the puppy while he does his Twitch streams.

You could have sworn you closed the door after yourself when you went for a quick trip to the toilet. But your stomach dropped as you peed and you heard yapping and scampering across the wooden floor. The mischevious pup was heading right for Shigaraki.

He was mid game when he heard the sound of sweet little barks in the distance hurrying towards him. He died in the middle of his game which lead to a ton of comments about what a crappy player he was. He picked up the puppy when he felt him chewing at the bottom of his jeans. The comments quickly turned from insults to coos when everyone saw a little wagging tail and an adorable pink tongue licking at your boyfriends nose.

violet_knight87: omg puppy!!!!

n1ck_the_n0rd: didn't know u had a dog??

hailhenry: is that a corgi? what's his name?

itsbethbaby: u look so cute with the puppy!! such a hottie 🥵

"He's my girlfriends puppy everyone relax... Babe! Get the dog!" he yelled to you. Your heart was pounding as you peed as quickly as you possibly could. You wiped in a hurry and washed your hands as fast as your body would allow.

The comments were all teasing him now. Claiming he's making up the fact he has a girlfriend. Someone like him couldn't possibly have a girlfriend. But he smirks, knowing they're all about to be proven dead wrong.

"I'm so sorry Tomura!" you spoke as you burst in to grab the puppy. The chat was in an uproar, not that Tomura was paying any attention as he handed the dog to you. "He's so sneaky, I could have sworn I shut the door." you told him.

"It's fine." he huffed. "Just put him back I've only got twenty minutes left. He alerted you. You turned to leave, but before you could he grabbed your wrist and started tapping on a spot of his cheek. You smiled, bending down to kiss him softly before you left.

n1ck_the_n0rd: how the fuck did u get a girl like that? 🔥🔥🔥

hailhenry: she's way out of ur league shig, did u brainwash her? LMAO

itsbethbaby: she isn't that hot wtf everyone... 😠

violet_knight87: anyone else missing the puppy? 😭

"Are you fucking kidding me? She pursued me you fuckers." he complained, very irritated by the insinuation that he wasn't good enough for you. "Babe? Get your ass in here." he demanded as he called for you down the hallway. You made sure to securely close the door behind you to keep the puppy at bay.

"Everything okay?" you wondered. He pulled you onto his lap and told you to say hello. You smiled widely and said hello to everyone watching.

"Tell them how much you love me princess, tell them you came onto me." he instructed. You felt your cheeks warm in embarrassment, but did as you were told.

"I love Tomura very much. I had a crush the minute I laid eyes on him and asked him out! Is that all?" you wondered. He read the comments, they were all still doubting your words. He was seething.

"Show them."

"Huh?"

"Get on your knees and show them how much you love me." he said with an entirely straight face. You searched his eyes looking for any inkling that he was joking. He couldn't possibly think this was a good idea. Surely he didn't expect you to humiliate yourself like this. "Now."

You dropped to your knees like it was second nature. You began undoing the button of his jeans and pulled the zip down. His length sprung free and smacked off his abs. He smirked as he read the comments while you began to beat him off. Things like this isn't really about to happen right? But yes, it was. He moved your hair to the side so they could all get a good look at your face.

"Stop staring at it, suck it already."

With that, you sunk your mouth onto his shaft, gobbling up each and every inch. Coos of 'good girl' and 'that's my little slut' rushed straight to your cunt.

He grinned as he noticed his viewer count dramatically increase each second. It must be true when people say sex sells. You sucked him off for the remainder of the stream. Your jaw was aching and you were desperate to shower away your shame. He pulled the webcam down to give everyone a first person view of what a good cockslut you were. He began pumping himself quickly. He squirted his release in and around your mouth.

"Swallow it." he told you. You did, sticking your tongue out for good measure. "Tell them how much you love my cock."

"I love your cock Tomura... s'fucking perfect. I love you Tomura."

He feels very fucking smug reading the chat now. Compliments of what a big cock he has, what a perfect slut he has, how he should invite you onto every stream.

"I'm ending this stream now, gonna fuck her brains out til she's crying. Bye cunts."

this is part of my ON THE JOB event

© 2021 fuwushiguro

[kingsuckjin]

Jimin's Body- Teaser

⫸ possessed Jimin x reader

⫸  Genre: horror, (Jennifer's body au)

⫸  Rating: M (18+ for eventual smut and very dark themes)

⫸  Warnings: (for this teaser only) demonic possession, blood, low self worth, mention of being a loner, question of a heart attack, embarrassing childhood story, Jimin might be being teased, hmmm Tae's house is haunted maybe?

⫸ About: This wasn't the party Jimin thought it would be. After the party you knew Jimin wasn't the person you thought he once was either... that is, if he’s a person at all anymore.

⫸  Words:1.8k

-------------

"Taehyung, stop fucking with everyone." You scolded as Jimin stared wide-eyed at the ceiling at the light that had just flickered out.

He had to look tough with you sitting in the circle right across from him on the brown, shag-carpeted floor of this basement that looked like it and its living room-like furniture hadn’t been touched or updated since the 70’s.

It was supposed to be a party, and there indeed was one upstairs blasting music but muffled by the floor above.

You were all supposed to be playing a childish and tipsy game of spin the bottle in the basement.

Jimin was supposed to kiss you. He had only come here because he wanted to spend time with you because you invited him, but so far nothing was going as planned.

"He's not fucking with anyone his house is haunted." Jungkook chuckled while Taehyung gave you a boxy grin. 

Jimin couldn't tell if they were lying or not, he didn't really know anyone here but you and Seokjin, who had already passed out on the basement couch across the room, oblivious to everything happening.

Jimin also thought maybe they were all playing a joke on him, he hadn't said a word to anyone but you and Jin since he had got here.

"He's not lying, I saw a ghost once when I stayed over. I don't even believe in ghosts." The rather stoic guy named Yoongi spoke with his arms crossed.

"Tell them the story Tae." Jungkook urged.

Taehyung's eyes flitted around the circle to each person's face, possibly pausing to add anticipation.

"A woman died in this house." 

"So what? People die everywhere, it doesn't mean a place is haunted." You spoke up, already seeming like you didn’t believe him right from the start.

"She was murdered," Taehyung added.

"Sure." You scoffed as you rolled your eyes.

"She was. Right here in the basement. She ran from the killer and hid in the basement and locked herself in the bathroom. She was supposedly very beautiful and vain. Sometimes if you look in the mirror and tell yourself how nice you look, she'll get jealous and appear, maybe she'll even steal your soul if you're pretty enough." 

Although Jimin had been a little scared at first. He couldn't help but stifle a laugh and a smile at how cliché Taehyung's ghost story sounded and suddenly all eyes in the circle were on him.

"What? You don't believe me?" Taehyung raised his eyebrows at Jimin.

"No one does, Tae. Even if the house is haunted you're obviously dramatizing it." You scoffed.

"I believe it," Yoongi muttered.

"Go in there and do it Jimin." Jungkook urged pointing to a darkened doorway in the basement.

"Oh Jimin, you made her mad." Taehyung teased as he watched the light above begin to flicker back to life just before dying again.

Jimin could feel the "are you serious?" look on his face that he was now giving Jungkook. He didn't know any of these people but you, and you were the one he was afraid of looking like a coward in front of. He cursed at himself in his head for laughing at Taehyung's bad ghost story. He should've just stayed quiet like he always did.

"Go on." Jungkook urged again, ignoring Jimin's surprised look.

"Guys don't. This isn't how you treat new friends. Can we please go back to-" 

"Too scared?" Yoongi now asked Jimin.

"No." He answered more confidently than he felt. Should he be scared? Probably not. Taehyung's story was shit and everyone in the room knew it. They were obviously just picking on him because he was a new friend and shy, right? Jimin didn't really have many friends until he started working at the restaurant with you and Seokjin, he was always just too shy and quiet for friends to really stick. But what if he simply just wasn't this time? What if he became the outgoing popular Jimin he always wanted to be and started over with these new friends. What if he pretended to be everything he wasn't? That’s why he came tonight, he thought if maybe he was all of those things finally, maybe you’d want him. He wasn’t about to mess up the charade he was doing okay at putting on now. 

Jimin stood from his place in the circle of new friends on the floor, trying to stop his nervous legs from shaking.

"So what do I do?" He was wanting to prove them wrong, show them that he wasn't scared and this was all bullshit, even though he knew in the back of his mind that this was how every horror movie and story started.

"Jimin you don't have t-" you were interrupted by a smirking Taehyung. Jimin wondered how he could be so chill about this if it was real.

"Go in the bathroom, don't turn on the lights, look in the mirror, and tell yourself you're pretty and genuinely mean it."

"Oh, so you can all hear me and laugh at me?" Jimin saw a new ploy to their jokes.

"No ones going to laugh at you." Taehyung was serious as he looked Jimin in the eye.

"You've got more balls than I do, new guy." Jimin heard Yoongi say as he looked towards the dark basement bathroom. Something about their suddenly serious tones of voices and the way they were looking at one another now made the fear and nervousness in Jimin’s stomach rise once again. 

"I swear if you're tricking him or you plan on actually making fun of him I swear I won't be your guy's friend anymore, I mean it." Your tone was deadly serious at the group and that gave Jimin some reassurance.

"It's not a joke," Taehyung replied in a way that took away any shred of confidence Jimin had left. What was worse, his new friends playing a prank on him and wanting to embarrass him or something actually happening? Jimin felt fucked either way but still made his legs carry him to the bathroom as he tried to shake off the unsettling feeling Taehyung’s story had left him with.

He wondered if they would stop him and tell him they were just kidding, but as he closed the door and the complete darkness took over the room, he lost any hope of that happening.

The bathroom smelled musty unlike the livable rest of the basement. Although it was a full bathroom with a sink, tub, and toilet, the walls were unfinished. It just felt like someone had given up on the room long ago. 

Jimin placed his hands on each side of the cool, white porcelain sink and looked at himself thoroughly in the mirror in front of him. How was he supposed to tell himself he was good looking and mean it? Jimin felt like he was a timid, friendless, freak. Even this incident reminded him of a sleepover he had in first grade where he got scared and peed his pants and all the boys laughed at him. He knew you'd never want him, not when he was too shy to finally make a move, not when you had all of these cool guy friends.

Jimin placed his hand on his cheek and let his thumb drift over his lips. Have you ever once thought he was handsome? Just once? If you did you wondered what you thought about. Maybe you liked his lips and thought about how good they would feel pressed to yours… or even other places on your body.

Maybe you liked his hair and thought about how nice it would feel to run your hands through it. Perhaps his body? As a dancer, Jimin knew his body was in shape but was it good enough for you to imagine on top of you?

He finally came to the conclusion that maybe he had more in the looks department than most did. That was when he let the words pass his lips.

"I'm attractive." 

The affirmation felt good, he had never once thought to do this before. He continued to look over his features and think about what you might like about him.

"My lips are nice, my hair is nice, my body is nice and I'm so attractive. I'm pretty." 

Jimin began to understand that the others in that room weren't him, they were nothing like him. He had things that they didn't, many things they didn't. Even in the kindness department, Jimin had a leg up, after all, who sends a new friend into a bathroom to scare them? Did they even want to really be friends with him? Probably not. Perhaps they did this out of jealousy. They were probably jealous Jimin was better looking than them, he was a better person than them. They wanted you and couldn't have you, Jimin could.

All Jimin could see in the mirror was darkness all but the beautiful features of his face. He didn't feel the smirk that erupted on it, but he saw it in the mirror and it felt so right.

"I'm the most beautiful here. I am."

Jimin was so lost in himself that he barely noticed the shadow right behind him, reaching out for him with its dark, spindly fingers each tapered to a claw tip.

Jimin did however see the dark liquid begin to drop from his nose, run down his full pips and chin before dripping onto the white porcelain sink in front of him. 

He doubled over with the sudden pain in his chest that hit him faster than a lightning strike. It felt like his heart was being tightened in a vice.

He collapsed completely onto the cold, cracked tiled floor in the dark grunting with a ringing growing overwhelmingly loud in his ears as he waited for the squeezing in his chest to pop his heart like a water balloon.

Could anyone hear him? Surely someone had to. What was happening? He wondered if he was suffering a heart attack. Was he dying?

The pain was so terrible and felt like it was lasting so long that Jimin had tried to dig his fingers into the tile until his knuckles turned white.

Over the piercing ringing, Jimin could hear soft whispers that didn't make sense at first. The whispering of a woman. The longer he listened as his vision began to fade, the more he was able to make sense of the words.

"Let me in. I can make your dreams come true. I can give you everything you want, just let me in Jimin." Whatever it was knew his name, and it knew about you and how much he liked you. it felt like whatever the voice was was burrowing around in his brain looking for something.

Jimin felt weaker and weaker as his struggling against the pain lessened the more he decided to give up.

"Fine." Jimin had struggled to say, but once he did, everything stopped. Everything turned black, even his thoughts of you had melted away into the darkness.

[anythingandeverything1d]

Congratulations

“(y/n)” the nurse called out from the door. You stood up and walked over with an anxious smile. She handed you a clip board of medical information that you needed to update and then said she would grab you once it was completed and turned into the desk. You sat back down in the waiting room and flipped through the pages. Ugh I wish my mom was here...am I allergic to anything? I mean I don't think so but maybe Im just unaware of it..I don't remember having surgery-well my tonsils were removed but does that count? You were filling out the page to the best of your ability when your phone buzzed. You looked down and saw his name flash across the screen before immediately ignoring the call. You rushed to finish the paperwork and handed it in as the nurse came back. “Ready?” she asked.

“Yeah.” you followed her down the hall where she took your height and weight before escorting you into the room. You hopped onto the chair and anxiously tapped your foot as she checked your temperature, blood pressure, and oxygen levels. After finishing up she sat on the stool and smiled. 

“So, what are we here for today?”

“Uh...” you looked at your feet and shifted in the chair. “I think I may be pregnant.”

She smiled and nodded, “when was your last period?” 

“My period tends to be irregular but the last one I had recored was around two months ago.”

“Okay, were you on any kind of birth controls, or using any type of contraceptives?”

“I was on a birth control, am on a birth control but I missed a few days while I was on vacation which is when I believe this all happened.”

“Okay. Have you had any symptoms other than your missed period?”

“No, not really.”

“Okay. Have you taken any pregnancy tests at home?”

You nodded, your brain flashing back to that day. 

*Tears were flooding down your cheeks as he grabbed his last hoodie from your closet. All you wanted was for life to stop. You wanted him to say its okay, to make a change in the relationship, to stay. You sat on the bed crying as he walked out the door for the last time, taking with him every once of happiness you had. You ran to the bathroom, physically sick from the situation. It wasnt until you were hunched over the toilet that you realized the box of tampons had gone unopened. Missing periods was normal for you, they had never been regular. There was a slight doubt in your mind though. You had never missed a period more than once, so the fact that you were going on two means something was wrong. You had been under a lot of stress though, the distance, the lying, the excuses, all of it. Wiping the snot running from your nose, you had gotten up, washed your face, and thrown on sweatpants and a sweatshirt. You had mustered the courage to drive all the way to the drug store, purchase three pregnancy tests, and drive home. You had gotten three, you wanted to be sure. You wanted to be positive before making any other decisions. You sat on the bathroom floor after peeing in a cup and dipped each end, turning them over so you couldn't see the lines. You set a timer on your phone and closed your eyes. The only thing that could've possibly made this situation better was having him here. Of course he was gone already but you could still dream right? When the alarm on your phone went off you anxiously flipped them all over. Picking the first up and squinting you saw the dreaded double lines. Picking the second one up: dreaded double lines. And the third: PREGNANT in bold. You dropped them all on the counter and threw your phone. Of course, of course this this happens. He leaves and I end up pregnant with his baby..just like the movies except he won't be coming back. The rest of the day had been a blur. You had kind of just ignored the fact that there were three positive pregnancy tests in the bathroom. When your friend Luke had come over, you had cried into his arms. Cried about him leaving, about the break up, and finally about being pregnant. “(y/n) if you have positive pregnancy tests you need to call him.”

“No. I can't do that. Im not doing that.”

“(y/n)...hes the father, he deserves to know.”

“I may not even be pregnant though..they come up wrong all the time.”

“Not this wrong though.. this seems pretty sure.”

“I mean I've been stressed lately maybe its just a hormone thing.”

“I think you should go to the doctor and check. And if you are then you need to ball up and tell him. Seriously he needs to know”

You had nodded and cried some more before Luke left. Then you had called your doctor and made an appointment.*

Now here you were answering questions about your sex life and body. The nurse handed you a cup and showed you where the bathroom was. She said the test would take only around ten minutes but that she would be coming back to the room to do a blood test as well. Great, what a fun day... You quickly peed in the cup, leaving it on the counter for the nurse and wandered back to the room you had been assigned. Your hands were sweating and you felt dizzy. Having your blood drawn was probably your least favorite thing. In fact, you fainted almost every time. You checked your phone and thought about texting him...instead you texted Luke and told him how terrible the doctor was and that you were going to die while having your blood drawn. His only response was “lol” and you rolled your eyes. Typical guy.. The nurse came back in with a smile and sat down. “Well it does look like you are in fact pregnant so congratulations! We want to do a pelvic exam and ultra sound today just to see where everything is at and then have you come back for a blood draw in the future.” 

“Thanks.” you smiled and relief flooded your face. At least you didnt have to have your blood drawn today. On the other hand, you were pregnant, which was a whole other nightmare in its own. Not that you hadn't wanted and dreamed of having kids. You just thought it would be under different circumstances and that you would be married. 

“Im going to leave this gown here if you just want to change real quick we can do an ultrasound and hopefully see where the little baby is at.” She left for a minute and you quickly changed, your warm body freezing against the chair. When she came back in, she had an ultrasound machine on wheels. She started with the pelvic exam, lightly pressing all around your pelvic region. Satisfied she got out a tube of gel. “This is going to be cold at first.” You had nodded and watched as the clear gel squirted out and the ultrasound machine rubbed against your skin. You watched the screen as she moved it around looking for the baby. After what felt like months, she found a small white dot looking blob and smiled. “There it is...looks like you are measuring around 2 months right now which makes sense to when you thought everything happened.” She looked at you and smiled. “I know it can be a lot to take in..I’m guessing this is your first?”

“Yeah...its just a lot I guess.”

“It is, but it gets easier. Want to hear the baby’s heartbeat?”

You smiled and nodded. She pressed a button and you heard soft thumps. Tears slipped out of the corner of your eye and you wiped them away. “Thats pretty cool.”

She smiled and nodded before handing you a towel. “You are all set to go, we will have the pictures at the desk where you can make your next appointment. It was nice meeting you (y/n) good luck on your pregnancy and congratulations again.” You smiled and thanked her before climbing back into your clothes. 2 months pregnant...theres a living being in there...my baby...mine and Harry’s baby...oh god, what am I going to tell Harry? At the desk you scheduled another appointment and the receptionist handed you a picture saying congratulations. You looked at the little pea shaped blob inside you and grinned. Thats mine...thats inside me. 

Luke surprised you by standing at your car door with an ice cream sundae. “Soo did you faint? did you die? did you live?”

You laughed, “Yeah I lived. I didnt have my blood drawn at all actually.”

“Oh? Why’s that?” You took the sundae from him and smiled taking a bite, the hot fudge melting in your mouth. 

“Because of this.” you waved the picture in your hand and he grabbed it his mouth dropping. 

“Is that what I think it is? Do you have an alien growing inside you?”

“Lukeee seriously”

He laughed and looked into your eyes. “Okay okay but wow, a baby. That’s amazing. How are you feeling about it?”

“I feel like it hasn't sunk in yet....but that I’m really happy. I mean Ive always wanted a baby...why not do it now? I don't need a man in my life. Im a strong and independent woman.”

“That you are, but don't worry you will have me too. Im going to be a great uncle, its the best job anyways. But uh- are you going to tell Harry?” 

You shrugged your shoulders and continued eating. “(y/n)...it is his baby right?”

You rolled your eyes and nodded. “It cant be anyone else's.”

“So then you're going to tell him.”

“Idontknow” you mumbled, your mouth full of ice cream.

“You have to..you know he would want to know.”

“Theres a lot I wanted to know and he didn't tell me so I’m not sure yet. I haven't decided anything.”

“Okay...” he gave in and hugged you. “I’m happy for you I really am.” 

You hugged him back and smiled. “Thanks. I’m glad you're here...I’m glad I have someone to go through this with. And I’m so so glad you brought ice cream.”

“It’s okay. What are friends for right?” You nodded and jumped in the car after saying goodbye. You didn’t quite know who to call yet so you decided to just enjoy some time with yourself. You did the only logical thing you could think of after finding out that there was a baby inside you: you went shopping. You picked a local baby store and walked in, looking at all the onesies, furniture, blankets, binkies, and bears. 

“Hi! Anything I can help you find today?”

“No, thank you I’m just looking.”

“Okay well we are having a two for one deal on onesies and bibs so make sure to check those out.”

“I will thank you.” you smiled at the girl working but she kept looking back at you. 

“Are you (y/n)...the girl dating Harry Styles?” she asked shyly.

“I was dating him, not anymore actually.” She nodded and gave you the look, you know the one of pity and sorrow? You went back to shopping looking at all of the little outfits, there were so many choices. You also had no idea if you were having a boy or a girl..something told you it was a boy but obviously you had no clue whatsoever. You decided on a cute grey onesie with little animals on it...gender neutral. You also grabbed a cute binkie that had a stuffed bear attached to it. 

“These are super cute.” the girl said while checking out. “There's a whole collection that goes with this if youre interested.”

“No, that's okay this is enough for now?”

She nodded and wrapped the stuff in a bag. “So how far along are you?”

“Not very far, only a few months.”

“Well congrats! I hope everything goes smoothly and I hope to see you back here soon for more stuff.”

You smiled and nodded. “I for sure will be back.” 

You drove home, your phone blowing up the entire way with twitter notifications, instagram tags, and more. Inside you scrolled through it, only to find pictures of you shopping for the baby clothes. Your name attached to headlines stating you were expecting but not far along. Great...this is not what I need...how do they even know.... you were scrolling through more twitter notifications. Harry’s name was now being brought into this. Another daddy in One Direction? Harry Styles Expecting? ugh...this literally cannot be happening.. and then everything got worse.. Harry’s name and photo popped up on your screen as he called. “Harry?” you answered anxiously.

---

Part 1 of my new series, hope you all enjoy! Goal is to have another part posted tonight or tomorrow! This is kind of just an intro to the story, I’m hoping to have them be a little longer but let me know what you all would rather: longer and less stories (may take more time to upload) or shorter and more stories (updated a little faster)

Let me know what you think so far and what you think will happen.

xoxo

[idumpyourgrass]

Always Waiting- Chapter Sixteen

Always Waiting- Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

Always Waiting Masterlist

Summary: Dustin, Robin, and Erica babysit drugged Y/n and Steve. Y/n and Steve share their feelings, The party reunites

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

A/n: Hey guys I’m back! I’m so sad this is almost done, only a couple more chapters! I’m planning on getting my summary out for my new writing in a couple days so I can start a taglist! I think I will cutoff the taglist here since there’s really only one more chapter then the epilogue!

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of getting beaten up? Cheesy fluff, typos ofc

Word Count: 2k

 You, Steve, and Erica get thrown around in the back of the car while Robin and Dustin sit up front.

“Jesus, slow down.” Steve mumbles.

“Yeah what is this? The Indy 500?” You ask.

“It’s the Indy 300,” Steve argues.

“No, idiot, it’s the Indy 500.”

“It’s 300!”

“Let’s say…a million!” You and Steve erupt into laughter.

“Can you both just shut up!” Erica scolds you both.

Robin looks back at you while her and Dustin try to figure out what is wrong with you.

“Robin watch out!” Dustin yells.

“Shit!” She whips around, breaking the car before running into a barrel. You fall on top of Steve, groaning.

“Are you three alright back there?” Dustin asks. Steve groans in response.

“We gotta go.” Robin and Dustin rush to the back opening the door. Erica hops out trying to drag you out with her.

“Come on! Get out!”

Robin helps Erica pull you out. Dustin rushes to the elevator. He holds a keycard up to the scanner and the doors open.

Steve runs and stands up on a cart, pretending like he’s surfing. You lay on the ground giggling. Dustin makes his way over to you, placing a hand on your forehead.

“You’re burning up.” You start squirming around, hitting Dustin’s hand off your forehead.

“Quit it!” Dustin scolds as he takes a look at your eyes, “Her eyes are super dilated.” You bop his nose with your finger.

“I love you Dusty!”

“Maybe she’s drugged?” Robin suggests.

“Robin you are my bestest friend in the whole wide world!”

Dustin holds onto your hands, trying to keep you from moving around, “Hey, Y/n, are you drugged?”

“I don’t do drugs, Dusty.”

You look up at Steve and smile, “Harrington when this is over, you owe me a kiss.”

Steve jumps off the cart, stumbling a little bit, “We could kiss right now!” You erupt into laughter. Dustin’s jaw drops to the floor, “No! I don’t care how drugged you are, you are not kissing!” Dustin pushes Steve away from you.

The elevator stops and Dustin pushes you out, “come on, let’s go!”

The air outside tasted amazing when it hit your tongue. You hold your mouth open and take in all the air you can.

“Oh shit,” Robin says. A Russian guard comes running towards you all. Dustin pushes you back through the door.

“Where are we going?” Steve asks.

“Weeeeee!” You put your arms in the air.

You all run through the back halls of the mall, you and Steve lollygagging in the back.

“Where are we going?” Erica asks.

“Just trust me.” Dustin opens a door and you all walk into the movie theatre. Steve sees some popcorn in a trashcan and grabs in.

The dimly lit movie theatre is filled with people. Dustin pushes you into a seat next to Steve, “You two, stay here, and keep your hands to yourself.”

You stick your tongue out at him, giggling. You look up at the screen, “What’s going on?” You whisper to Steve, sticking your hand into the popcorn bag.

“I have no idea.” 

You become so enhanced by the movie, though you had no clue what was going on.

“This is amazing,” you say.

“I’m bored,” Steve complains, he gets out of his seat and runs out the door, you laugh and follow him out. He heads towards the drinking fountain. You lean against the wall.

“So, like, I wasn’t totally focused in there, but I’m pretty sure that mom was trying to fuck her son.”

Steve stops drinking for a second, “Wait, the hot chick was Alex P. Keaton’s mom?” He goes back to drinking the water.

“Yeah I’m pretty sure.” You nod.

“How is that even possible?”

“Because he went back in time.” You answer all his questions.

“Then why is it called back to the future?”

“Because he has to go back to the future because he’s in the past,” Steve looks up at you with a confused face, you continue, “so the future is really the present, which is his time.” You look at Steve.

“Wh-what?”

You push him out of the way of the drinking fountain, “You’ve had enough.”

The water tastes like heaven. You take huge gulps.

“Hey, Y/n, come look at this.” Steve is looking up at the ceiling with a dazed look on his face. You make your way over to him and follow his gaze, looking up. The ceiling looked like it was spinning. You were seeing all different kinds of colors and shapes.

“Woah,” it looked so cool. The more you looked, the dizzier you got, but you couldn’t look away. You felt a familiar feeling in your stomach. You clamped a hand over your mouth as you felt yourself starting to gag. You ran towards the bathroom, Steve right behind you. You fly into a stall and kneel in front of the toilet.

You are sure you’ve thrown up everything in your stomach. You flush the toilet and lean against the wall of the stall, closing your eyes.

“Think we threw it all up?” Steve asks from the next stall.

“Well, guess there’s only one way to find out,” you sit up, “interrogate me,” you smile.

Steve chuckles, “okay, interrogate you, sure,” there’s a pause, “when was the last time you…peed your pants?”

“Seriously Harrington? That’s what you came up with?” You take a second to think, “the last time I peed my pants was today,” you laugh.

“What?” Steve laughs too, “when?”

“When the doctor took out that bone saw, I thought we were goners.”

“Oh yeah, it’s definitely still in your system. Ok your turn.”

“Ok, um, have you ever,” you hesitate to finish the sentence, pretty sure you already knew the answer, “been in love?”

Steve, however, doesn’t hesitate to answer, “Yep, Nancy, first semester, senior year,” he makes an explosion sound.

You didn’t want to know the answer to the next question, but you being you, you ask it anyways, “are you still in love with Nancy?” You ask quietly

“No.” Steve is quick to answer. A wave of relief rushes over you.

“Why not?”

“I think it’s because I found someone better for me,” You couldn’t tell if you had to throw up again or if it was just the butterflies in your stomach.

“It’s crazy, I mean I’ve known this girl my whole life. She’s incredible. First of all she’s hilarious, I am always laughing when I’m around her, and her smile, god, she has this amazing smile, and she just lights up a room when she walks in,” you felt the smile on your face grow wider and wider, “and she’s always there for me, even when I was such an asshole, she was always there. She is just an amazing person and you know, I might even be in love with her, I think I have always been in love with her, I’ve just been so blind sighted by everything but I’m not blind slighted anymore.”

You sat there, smiling, taking everything in.

“Y/n?” Steve knocks on the wall separating you two, “You OD over there?”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in, “No, I am still alive.”

Steve slides under the stall door.

“Hi,” you whisper.

“So what do you think?”

“About?”

“This girl.”

“Well, she sounds awesome, I would love to meet her.” You smile up at Steve.

“Something tells me you two would get along great,” Steve jokes, “And what about the guy?”

“I think he’s on drugs and a part of me thinks it’s the drugs talking but another part of me really wants to believe him because this girl is…” you take a breath, “is in love with him too.”

Steve lets out a sigh of relief, his cheeks glowing a rosy color, “Well Henderson, I can guarantee you it is not the drugs.”

Steve stands up and holds his hands out for you, “C’mon, let’s take care of that pretty face.”

You had almost forgotten you got the shit kicked out of you by Russians. You hop up on the counter and Steve wets down some paper towels. He wipes off the dried up blood on your chin, you studying his face carefully. He then tried to clean up your busted lip.

“Ow!” You wince.

“Sorry, I’m sorry.” Steve reaches down with his other hand and grabs your own.

“Will you say it one more time?” You beg him.

“Say what?” He asks.

You smile as wide as you can with your bust lip and bat your eyelashes at him. He smiles once he catches on.

“I am in love with you Y/n Henderson.”

“I am in love with you Steve Harrington.”

You don’t even notice how close you two have gotten. Steve glances down at your lips then looks back at you. You feeling your breath hitch, oh god it’s actually going to happen. You part your lips, leaning in closer. You close your eyes preparing for the moment.

The door of the bathroom flies open. You open your eyes and glance over to the door seeing Dustin. You look at Steve and you two start laughing.

“Ok, what the hell?” Dustin looks between you and Steve, realizing what you two were about to do, “Seriously?”

Robin peeks her head in the bathroom, a smile growing on her lips, “Alright Y/n!”

“Did you two finally kiss?” Erica asks, walking into the bathroom.

“No.” You respond coldly. Steve helps you off the counter.

*    *    *

The five of you try to blend in with the crowd leaving the movie theatre, Steve still holding your hand.

“Alright now we just have to get on the bus with the rest of these plebes and home sweet home!” Dustin says.

“Uh, Dustin, we might not want to go home.” You tell him.

“Why not?”

“I may have told them our full names.”

“What? Why?” Dustin whisper yells.

“I was taking a pretty hard beating Dustin.”

“So you resist! You tough it out!”

“Yeah, ok! Sure!” You two start arguing.

“Oh shit, guys!” Robin pulls you two out of your argument. You follow her gaze and see Russians IDing everyone who’s leaving the mall.

“Oh shit.” A Russian spots you among the crowd.

“Abort! Abort!” Dustin panics. You all start running against the crowd. You look behind you and see a group of Russian’s chasing you.

“Shit, go, go, go!”

You come to the escalator, you stop and try to think, “Come on!” You urge the group as you hop a rope and slide down the escalator. Once you all make it down you head towards the food court. You all duck down behind the counter of Imperial Panda. You grip onto Steve’s hand as tight as you can. You’re all trying to catch your breath and trying to stay as quiet as you can. You can hear the stomps of the Russian’s getting closer and closer. You close your eyes.

The sound of a car alarm causes you all to jump.

You look over to Dustin, “What the fuck?” You mouth.

You peer over the counter, watching the car fly through the air and hitting all the Russians like bowling pins. Only one thing would be able to do that.

“Eleven!” You let out a sigh of relief as you look up to the second floor of the mall, seeing Eleven, Max, Lucas, Will, Nancy, and Jonathon.

You and Dustin run over to meet them, you give El and Max a big hug.

“Ok, will someone tell me what the hell is going on?” Steve asks.

*   *   *

“I thought Eleven closed the gate?” Steve asks.

“She did, but the mind flayer didn’t leave.”

“So Billy is experiencing what Will experienced?” You try to make sense of all this.

“Yes, but a lot worse.” Will explains.

The group goes on explaining what is going on. You watch Eleven walk away from the group. She looks around before quickly covering her ears.

“El?” You ask.

The rest of the group now has their attention on Eleven. Her eyes start to flutter close as she starts to sway.

“El!” Mike yells. She starts to fall. You quickly run and catch her before she hits the ground.

“El!”

Taglist:

@loulouloueh​ @nighttwingg​ @l0ve-0f-my-life​ @labrujaprincess​ @welcomethefears​ @metuel18​ @polynesianmayo​ @readinthegarden12​ @alafolieee​ @yoheyyosup​ @loco-latte​ @daddystevee​ @hannarudick​ @gertenbert​ @70sgubler​ @used-avocado​ @ggclarissa​ @alonewolfsblog​ @phoebethepheebs​ @random-thoughts-003​ @red-2-0​ @m-blasterrr​ @blueberrylemontea-fanfic​ @mochminnie​ @lookalivesunshine-x​ 

[elialys]

Ten(too?) x Rose - How to Baby Proof Your TARDIS

This is a gift for @lastbluetardis​ as part of the Secret Santa (@dwsecretsanta​) exchange ^^ The title pretty much says it all. Don't expect anything from this except cavity inducing domestic pregnancy fluff. 

Writing this, I could literally not decide if this was Ten x Rose, or Tentoo x Rose in their new TARDIS a few years down the line. Whatever works for you, I guess :D 

 Happy holidays ♥

[READ IT ON AO3]

HOW TO BABY PROOF YOUR TARDIS

The straw that finally breaks Rose’s aching back happens that night, when she tries using the loo adjacent to their room, and the lid simply refused to be lifted.

No matter how much she pulls, huffs or puffs (with an increasing amount of loud cursing), the bloody thing will not budge, for reasons unknown to her. From what she can see, there is no obvious mechanism that she can snap off, and no Doctor around to tell her what he’s done – and more importantly, how to undo what he’s done.

The thing about being thirty-five weeks pregnant is that she needs to pee.

Often.

It also means that if she doesn’t get to do it in the proper place in the appropriate amount of time, there will come a point when her body will go ‘tough!’ and pretty much make her pee no matter what.

Which is why Rose waddles away from their bedroom, making her way to the next available bathroom as swiftly as she can manage in her state…only to find the toilet just as inaccessible.

Now, the other thing about being thirty-five weeks pregnant is that if she gets remotely upset (and the prospect of peeing herself in the next two minutes is definitely upsetting) she will respond in one of two ways: wrath, or tears.

That night, she does both.

The way she hollers his name is quite terrifying, even to her own irrational ears. For one thing, she sounds exactly like her Mum does on a bad day. She also sounds like someone about to commit a murder.

Wherever he’s been, the Doctor hears her call well enough. Unfortunately, she’s too livid and desperate by then to be impressed in any way by how quickly he reappears, nothing short of tripping over his own feet as he staggers into the small room.

His panicked expression only worsens when he takes her in, tearstained face and all.

“What is it? Contractions? Spotting? Vitamin deficiency?”

“I need to pee!” she barks at him, pointing at the closed lid. “Open that bloody thing up!”

“Oh,” he says, having the nerves to just stand there and blink for a moment, until her nostrils flare and she fixes him with a glare so intense that he startles back into action at once. “Oh! Of course, just a tick!”

“I don’t have a tick,” she snaps back, miserable, as big, fat tears stream down her face, along with an impressive amount of mucus from her nose.

His screwdriver is already out and buzzing away at the lid, soon leading to an audible CLICK.

“There you go!” he exclaims, bravely beaming at her, although there is unmistakable terror in his eyes, well aware that he’s mucked this up.

She points at the door, sniffling and swallowing down more gunk in the process. “Out,” she whispers, and that soft, furious word seems to terrify him more than any shouting.

He does not argue, swiftly leaving the room, having the decency to close the door behind him, allowing Rose to do her business on time – and in the right place.

“I’m sorry.”

His voice comes muffled through the door, and she has no problem whatsoever picturing him as he must be, pretty much splayed all over the wood, already self-flagellating for upsetting her.

Now that her desperate urge to urinate has been dealt with, she feels immensely better, and a lot more rational – as well as a tad embarrassed. How much crying, snotting and peeing can someone manage in a day, exactly?

“We’ve talked about this,” Rose reminds him thickly, blowing her nose with toilet paper.

“I know.”

“It’ll be months before she’s big enough to move around on her own, let alone find herself near a loo.”

“I know.”

Rose sighs, finishing cleaning herself up. She takes some time at the sink to splash cold water on her blotchy face, looking as blotted and uncomfortable as she feels.

When she opens the door, he’s moved, leaning back against the opposite wall. He looks like a puppy who’s just been kicked.

“Is that really what you’ve been up to all night?” she asks him, more softly. “Baby proofing the TARDIS?”

The Doctor doesn’t answer, but the way he ruffles the hair at the back of his head is telling enough.

To be fair, he’s been good for a long time. Months, even.

He’s been protective of her, obviously, and the way he’s been insisting on doting on her from the moment they found out she was pregnant has been both endearing and frustrating. She regularly gets annoyed with the way he seems to think she cannot perform simple task by herself anymore (including wrapping a towel around her own body after showering), but she cannot stay mad at him for long when he keeps on looking at her as if she was the most mesmerising being in the universe.

Unfortunately, he’s become more than protective and attentive, these past few days.

He’s become paranoid.

She’s partly to blame for it, as she’s the one who suggested they tried out one of those Lamaze classes her Mum kept badgering her about…which had not been a success.

They’d both felt terribly out of place amongst those cooing couples, especially after the Doctor told one of them that their birth plans involved taking Rose to the soothing waters of Lusthion III in the Tresush Cluster, known for their naturally numbing properties, at which point they all started looking at them the way most regular people did.

Awkward social interactions aside, the instructor made the mistake of reminding everybody that it was never too early to start making a checklist of their home, in order to determine what could be a possible hazard for their child.

The Doctor obviously took it as a challenge.

“Did you know there are three-thousand-six-hundred-and-forty-nine ways for a child to get harmed on this TARDIS?” he’d asked her a couple of days ago, once he was done with his thorough inventory.

He’d looked slightly crazed by then, having obviously imagined in great details how their offspring could get hurt in every single one of these ways.

“Is at all?” she’d antagonised him instead of thinking up something sensible to say that would have calmed him down. “Thought it would be more, to be honest, seeing how children can literally hurt themselves just by walking from one end of a room to the other.”

That stupid remark had put a fire under his arse, for lack of better word.

They both know from his constant blabbering of facts that Rose should have entered the nesting phase of her pregnancy by now. And yet, while she sometimes feels compelled to work on the nursery some more, the Doctor is the one who’s been reorganising the entire TARDIS for the last two days.

It hasn’t been all bad, as he did get rid or fixed some implements that had been a danger to them both for years – including loose wires and other exposed mechanical hazards.

Rose began losing patience a few hours ago, when he started putting carpet all over the floors.

“Carpet?” she’d asked. “Carpet?”

“It’ll be softer on her little hands and knees when she starts to crawl.”

How he could be so endearing and infuriating at the same time was beyond her.

“She’s still getting oxygen through an umbilical cord,” Rose pointlessly reminded him. “It’ll be a while before she crawls.”

“Well it’ll be softer on your toes, then. You’re the one who’s always complaining about having sore feet.”

That’s when Rose had gone to bed, too achy and uncomfortable to attempt to reason with him again, aware that there was nothing much she could do or say when he was in that mood.

She’s drawing the line at toilet lids, though.

She walks to him, now, reaching up to cup his face. “Doctor,” she tells him calmly, her own bout of hysteria having receded for the time being. “I need you to get it together. You can’t expect me to be the only sane person on this ship. ‘m way too hormonal to pull it off.”

He scowls at her. “I am fine.”

“Yeah?” she asks with a scoff. “How did you lock all those toilet lids, exactly?”

“Magnetism,” he explains at once. “I gave both the lid and the seat strong magnetic properties by tinkering with the spin of their electrons.”

She blinks at him.

“Ah,” he concedes, tilting his head. “I get how that could be seen as me being somewhat irrational.”

“Somewhat?”

“Fine. Unreasonably irrational, then.”

She trails her fingers from his cheek to his hair, shaking her head a little. “Look, ‘m not against you being protective and taking precautions. I love that you’re thinking about all that stuff, when all I can think about lately is how many fried pickles I can eat before it makes me wanna spew. But I almost peed my pants tonight.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, swallowing hard.

She caresses his hair. “I know,” she says, before giving him a soft kiss, her protuberant belly pressing against his chest. “Can we wait until she’s born and mobile before we turn every toilet into giant magnets, though?”

“Sounds fair,” he says, briefly nuzzling her nose with his.

“You can make it up to me by feeding me,” she informs him.

“Ah,” he says again, tugging at his ear, before he starts wriggling out of her embrace. “Why don’t you…get changed first, eh? It’s a tad chilly tonight, I’d say you need another layer.”

As he spoke, he managed to escape her hold, slowly moving away from her.

“What have you done to the kitchen?” she asks.

Surely he knows better than to mess with her food.

“Nothing!” he splutters. “Much.”

She glares at him.

“Five minutes,” he tells her. “That’s all I need.”

“Fine,” she says. “But if I find out you’ve done anything to my pickles, ‘m moving out.”

She’s barely done talking that he’s dashing out of the corridor.

Rose follows with a waddle.

[poignantpulchritude]

Silly Pleasures-Chapter 3

“No, no, no we are not wearing just blue jeans and lip balm to Paradise tonight, go back to your room!”

“C’mon, it’ll be dark, no one will see.”

“But I will see. It’s the principal of the thing Jeanne,” Molly responded, sounding much more like a disappointed mother than friend and flat mate.

“Then you need to help me because I think you’ll hate anything I’d come down in.”

“Fine, gimme a few,” Molly spoke as she curled the last few strands of her golden hair.

I trudged my way back to my room, there were already clothes strewn all over the floor, making it difficult to walk. I plopped down on my bed, laying in down until my body was directly in the center. Clubs were not usually my scene, I much preferred a grimy pub because I liked talking, not really dancing, when drunk. No one ever talked at clubs, words were replaced by groping and bad remixes of passable songs. The saving grace for tonight was that we were going to have a table in the VIP section, which meant less interaction with overly friendly guys that felt they were God’s gift to women’s vaginas.

Molly sauntered into my room and headed straight for my closet. I lifted my head off the bed to watch her rummage through the mess I created. It took a few minutes as more clothes were thrown onto my floor until Molly finally made a triumphant sound and pulled out a small pink dress I was sent by one of my regulars. It was a bright, neon pink mini dress with sheer pink long sleeves. The dress had never seen the light of day since it arrived in the post since, I don’t spend much of my free time strutting around in expensive party dresses.

“Hmmm, I don’t know Molls, it’s pretty bright.”

“It’s fabulous, I know someone sent it to you because everything else you own is so dull. You absolutely have to wear it!”

“I don’t even know if it fits,” I groaned, falling back into my fluffy duvet. 

*

It fit. 

In reality, it actually looked quite nice. I mostly only dressed up in expensive lingerie while online and that covered very little of my body, if any of it. I tried to be annoyed that it was a dress, but found it hard to give reasons why I should not wear it.

“Okay fine,” I conceded with a smirk. Molly squealed and did a small hop in the air.

“You look like Dua Lipa with a fatter bum, it’s amazing!”

I giggled to myself and could not hide the smile. The dress was short enough to show of my large thigh tattoo of Medusa, but not too short that I felt my thong was on show. I paired the look with white, patent leather boots, looking a bit like it was 1980 and I was coming out of Studio 54. 

With my makeup and hair complete, I headed downstairs at the exact moment a knock came on our door. I headed down the hall and opened the door to see Rosie and Amber looking dashing in tight black dresses and thigh high boots. It seemed at time that they wanted to look like twins the amount of times they would dress the same. When turned my way, their jaws dropped. 

“What the fuck J, you look hot!”

“-Jesus, let’s make out tonight!”

I shut up both of their ramblings with quick hugs and invited them inside. The plan was to meet up at me and Molly’s place and then meet Keith at Paradise. Paradise was in the heart of Soho and even though we were not too far away, we collectively agreed we would walk as little as possible tonight. As we walked back to the kitchen, Molly was descending the stairs in a bright blue jumpsuit that made everyone in the room drool. 

“To getting fucked!” Amber exclaimed as we all held tequila shots in the air.

“Wait literally or figuratively?” Rosie asked.

“Doesn’t matter!” Molly said at the same time I yelled, “Both!”

As the shot burned down my throat, I relished the warmth that would no doubt lead to an exciting night.

“Gahhhh that’s dreadful,” Molly gagged.

*

The line outside of Paradise was ridiculous. It hadn’t been open very long and the crowds had yet to die down. We spotted Keith on his phone, standing right by the front door. “Oh, my god, I was so nervous I thought for a minute you would ditch me,” he said sheepishly.

“What the fuck?” I asked rhetorically, in a confused manner.

“When have we ever ditched you?” Molly questioned, amused at his anxiety. 

“God, I don’t know, never mind. I just learned that Matt is supposed to be here so every second I was alone I started feeling terrible.” I gave him a soft look in response. Matt was Keith’s ex-boyfriend, a man that completely ripped his heart to shreds yet he had not been able to completely get over him. 

“Don’t worry, you probably won’t see him anyway,” Rosie assured him. Keith did not look convinced, but brushed it off and led us to the doors. It only took a few seconds to check for his name on the list and we were let in, skipping at least eighty people waiting in line. 

I hated to give clubs too much credit, but Paradise looked impressive inside. The walls were a jungle print wallpaper with low yellow lights along the sides. The VIP section was located along the sides of the room, surrounding the main dance floor with its own bars behind it. All of the people dancing in the center of the floor helped explain the long line outside. This place was filled to capacity and it was still early in the night. We were led to our VIP booth and greeted by an almost nude girl with sparklers next to a bottle of champagne and vodka.

“Oh yes!” Amber screamed. We all looked at the bottle girl in awe, seeing her as the female Hermes with alcohol as the only message to deliver. Behind her appeared another man carrying a large bucket of ice that contained glasses and mixers. Our entire group was in, well, paradise. 

“This may end up being one of the best nights of my life,” I spoke, or more accurately- yelled, in Keith’s ear. He just smiled, appearing to finally brush off his nervousness surrounding Matt. 

Eventually, with the champagne popped and the bottles flowing, we noticed the VIP section start to fill with a very particular crowd. 

“Molly!” Rosie shouted, “Is that fucking Alexa Chung?” Skipping subtlety, she pointed directly at the slim brunette a few tables over. 

“Oh, my god, what is happening,” I heard Molly respond. Looking around, I noticed more and more people with jarring numbers of Instagram followers enter the VIP section.

“Just think, you may be able to get expensive dick tonight!” Keith hollered and I cackled loudly in response and agreement. 

Instead of focusing too much on the people entering, myself and Amber were making increasingly more vile drinks that we convinced ourselves tasted good. Amber, getting considerably more drunk as time passed, pulled me out of our booth and to the small section of floor directly in front of our booth that was still blocked off from the general public. My own tipsiness spurring on the decision to dance wildly.

“I love this song!” she screamed in my ear as a throwback 2000s song played to the crowd’s delight. We danced and jumped in circles until we couldn’t anymore. Along with our absurd dancing, we also decided to shout the lyrics, trying to be louder than the speakers. Molly quickly joined us, leaving Rosie and Keith to have an animated conversation back at our booth. 

I could tell I was slowly getting to the point of drunk, right at that sweet spot when everything was pleasant and bright. I always had to pee at these points. “Come with me to pee!” I said to Molly and Amber, very excited to check out the Paradise bathroom. Before they could properly respond, I grabbed both of their hands and dragged them to toilets in the back corner. I was so excited, I was not watching where I was walking and ended up bumping into a tall guy’s shoulder. “Sorry!” I exclaimed with a giggle, ripping my hands free from Molly and Amber and instead placed one hand on his silk shirt by his shoulder and the other on his check. “Sorry!” I yelled again with a smile, looking intently into his green eyes that looked vaguely familiar. I did not have time to get a better look at his face because my bladder took control of my body and I was suddenly done with our little interaction. I heard a surprised, happy laugh behind me as we all walked away.

The line for the toilets was short enough that we were actually waiting right outside the stalls by the mirrors. I love mirrors and couldn’t help myself as I walked over and whipped out my phone to catch a good angle. 

“Whoa, whoa J. Did you know who that just was?” Amber said, incredibly eager. Molly looked in shock and it was clear that I missed something very big.

“Who? The girl with the nice boots we just walked past?” I asked genuinely confused. Before Amber could respond a stall emptied and I quickly ran inside, dragging Amber and Molly with me. They were both having a quite an animated conversation above me as I peed, but the floor was spinning a bit too much for me to care. I knew I had only one drink left in me before I was done for the night, so it had to be a good one. 

“I’m going to get a Moscow Mule!” I declared when I finished peeing. 

“But we have free alcohol at the table,” Molly said firmly. She seemed the most put together of the bunch, but I knew I was deceived, having learned over time that the more serious she appeared the drunker she actually was. I just shrugged, smiled, and walked out of the stall without waiting for them to pee. When I was drunk and on a mission, nothing else mattered.

I made my way steadily to the bar in the back, making sure not to run into anymore moving bodies. This bar was packed considering it was in the noticeably calmer section of the club. I squeezed my way in between groups of people, maneuvering between flirting guys and annoyed girls, ending up in snuggled between the shoulders of two men. The one on the right had a crisp white button up while the one on the left had an odd silk shirt with tigers all over it. I remembered it as the shirt I bumped into moments ago. Before I could yell in his ear that I apparently knew him, someone jostled me from behind. This knocked me further forward in between the two men, alerting them to my intrusive presence.

I was met once again by green eyes, but this time I did get the chance to look at him more. He was at taller than me, with brown hair pushed in all directions over his head. As I examined his face more, I noticed the corners of his mouth turn upwards revealing a prominent dimple. It took me a moment to realize he may have been smiling because I was staring so intently at his lips. 

“I know you!” he spoke happily in a deep, English accent. This brought me out of my analysis of his lips to actually pay attention to what he was saying. 

“I just ran into you!” I yelled.

“I did it first,” he smiled. I was not sure what he meant by that statement, but before I could question it his friend spoke.

“Hello lovely, do we know each other?”

I turned to look at his friend and detected immediately that it was the man I listened to every morning on my way to class. “Ah!” I shouted and Nick Grimshaw grimaced at my noise, “I know you, but you don’t know me. You’re on the radio and friends with Matty Healy!” 

He gave his friend an amused look and responded, “That I am, do you know who that is?” he questioned, pointing back at silk shirt boy. 

“Yea, he’s the boy I bumped into on the way to pee, we’re friends now,” I affirmed proudly. I heard them both laugh at my words, but I was not paying much attention anymore as the bartender came by us and I yelled quickly, “A Moscow Mule please and thanks!”

I had my body pressed quite closely to silk shirt boy, with my hand resting on the bar, ready to take my drink when it arrived. “I like your dress,” he spoke from above. I just looked up and smiled before raising both arms over my head in an excited movement, showing off my sleeves.

“Thanks! My friend gave it to me.” I’m not sure if I would really consider the client that sent me the dress much of a friend, but I thought explaining in this state would be too much trouble. 

His eyes went to my left forearm when I lifted my arms above my head. Green eyes widened at the tattoo before him, a large snake cut into eighths with the words ‘Join or Die’ etched below it. “Wow this is amazing, may I?” he asked, suggesting a closer look. 

I obliged and pulled up my left sleeve so he could get a clearer view without the sheer pink material over it. “It’s obnoxiously American of me,” I informed him giggling from the alcohol. He gave me a confused look before I continued, “It’s a Benjamin Franklin cartoon about the Revolutionary War. This is probably a tough crowd to show it off in.” I’m not sure how many Englishmen wanted to be reminded of their lost colony. 

“That’s sick,” he responded enthusiastically, gently tracing his finger along the edges of the snake, causing my arm to break out in goosebumps.

“Moscow Mule, twelve pounds.”

The bartender broke me from my trance as I used the hand that was being examined to rip out my credit card from my bra. I heard Nick laugh loudly at the action. “What, it’s the safest place for a girl to carry her delicates. I have everything in here.” Nick and his friend both gave me skeptical looks, urging my innate need to prove myself to come to a head. I then proceeded to whip out two Advil, forty pounds, my ID, and three condoms from my bra.

“Why do you need three of them?” Nick asked, referencing the condoms.

“Because you never know what could happen,” I shrugged, looking up at the silk shirt boy boldly. He raised his eyebrows and looked straight back into my eyes. I felt a small tap on the arm resting on the bar and saw the bartender handing me back my card. I quickly collected everything I pulled out my bra and returned it to its proper position, ready to take my Moscow Mule and head back to my group when a tattooed hand stopped me again. 

“What’s your name?” Silk shirt boy asked.

“You tell me yours first.”

“Harry.” I just nodded, smiling. “Now yours?”

I smirked and went up on my tip toes in my white boots, steading myself on his chest again, and whispered in his ear, “Wouldn’t you like to know.” I heard his breath hitch when my lips grazed his ear. I pulled away, smirked one last time, and then walked back into the crowd, daring myself to not glance back. Rosie saw me giggling with my straw caught between my teeth as I returned to our group.

“You’ve been gone for a year, where were you lot?” Keith asked as Molly and Amber came up behind me, followed by two boys. 

“We need to go,” Amber smirked, motioning to the boy behind her, her conquest for the night. Everyone agreed except me, refusing to accept that my night was coming to an end since I just got my favorite drink. 

“Down it and we are going,” Molly giggled. I saw the boy behind her slowly rubbing the sides of her hips, eager to leave as well.

“How did you get them so quick?” I asked in her ear. “I was at the bar for maybe ten minutes.”

She shrugged, “We work fast.”

It took me a minute to down my drink. It would have been quicker if it was not so strong. I could tell that drink was a bad move the second the last drop went down my throat. I was holding hands with Keith as we made our way out of the club and back into reality. As we exited, we were faced with hordes of flashing lights. Paparazzi no doubt hoping we were people of notoriety considering the celebrities in attendance tonight. This thought prompted me to blurt out, “Oh, guess who I met tonight!” speaking to no one in particular. 

“You mean the popstar?” Molly’s head ripped around quick. I gave her a puzzled look, knowing full well that Nick Grimshaw did not sing any songs I was aware of.  

“Only you would not notice a former member of One Direction even though you caressed his bloody face,” Amber said behind me. I stopped moving, beginning to feel bile rise in my throat. I was unclear if I was going to get sick because of the alcohol or the new information I was slowly processing. 

“What?” Keith yelled looking at me, “Who did you meet?”

I ripped myself from his arms and ran to the closest pile of trash away from the paparazzi and threw up. I heard the sympathetic voices of my friends behind me, but I could only think of one thing. I just blew off Harry fucking Styles.

[crazy-little-cool-cat]

Hand in Glove - Chapter 13 | Ben Hardy x OFC

A/N: Well, this is interesting. I really didn’t expect to finish this chapter so soon but Saturday was very productive and I got to work from home, which means I got 0 work done but instead chose to write. It is what it is.

Word Count: ~4.2K

Warnings: Implied smut, actually. Fluff. Lots of Clara/Annie time, lots of Gwil/Ben time. Drinking, swearing, the usual. 

Chapter 1, Chapter 2,  Chapter 3,  Chapter 4,  Chapter 5,  Chapter 6,  Chapter 7,  Chapter 8,  Chapter 9,  Chapter 10,  Chapter 11, Chapter 12

“It’s just an expression!”

“You called me a loser. Me!”

“Considering the fact that my girlfriend is a lot hotter than your girlfriend,” Ben glanced at Gwil, “I’d say it’s definitely a possibility.”

“First of all, that is disgusting!” Gwil faked a gag. “Second of all, I’m not the one who knocked up his mentally unstable girlfriend.”

“She’s not mentally unstable!”

“Right, okay,” Gwil snickered, “just crazy, then?”

“She’s not crazy.”

“Yep, sure.”

“She isn’t! Will you please put something else on, for fuck’s sake? I can’t believe you’re a Tom Jones fan!” Ben rolled his eyes. “God, you’re like an eighty year old man!”

“Fine, I’ll just put on some Abba then -”

“No!!!”

“Queen?”

“Might as well. We could rehearse.”

“I feel bad, rehearsing without the rest of the band.”

“She’s not mentally unstable!”

“Oh, back to that, then?” Gwil chuckled, “alright.”

“She just loves really, really hard.” Ben looked over at Gwil, who nodded slowly with puckered lips. “What?”

“I’ve never heard a more accurate description, is all.”

Ben and Gwil jumped a little when Roger’s screaming falsetto attacked them from the speakers. Frankie started howling along. Gwil quickly fumbled with the volume knob, turning it down to a reasonable volume.

“Ben, do you think you can go that high?”

“Once, Annie accidentally kneed me in the groin and I’m pretty sure I did.”

###

Clara held up her third glass of wine with one hand as she pulled the hem of her oversized Wonder Woman t-shirt over her folded knees. She looked from her glass of wine to Annie’s bump, humming pensively.

“Banana?” Clara tilted her head slightly, “I wanna try something. Don’t breathe!”

“What?!”

“Stop breathing!”

“I need to breathe, you plum!” Annie scoffed. “What are you planning?”

“Lemme!” Clara leaned forward and carefully hovered her wine glass over Annie’s bump.  

“Oh, God,” Annie rolled her eyes and leaned back, “fine. Go ahead.”

“Yay!” Clara’s eyes lit up.

“But if I end up smelling like a drunk housewife, I’ll cut you.”

“You would never!”

“You know I would.” Annie glared at her best friend.

“Yeah, yeah,” Clara chuckled, “you still owe me a disembowelment from five years ago. All bark,” Clara placed the glass on Annie’s bump and leaned back, her hands in the air, smiling proudly. “No bite.”

Annie grabbed the glass and brought it to her nose, taking a deep breath.

“Bumpy,” Annie looked down and rubbed her bump with her other hand, “is it okay if mummy has a sip?”

“Annie!” Clara gasped just as Bumpy kicked Annie’s bladder.

“Guess not!” Annie grimaced and passed the glass off to Clara, scrambling to her feet and running as best as she could to the loo.

Annie didn’t even bother closing the door behind her. Wiggling her hips, she sat down and sighed with relief when Clara appeared in the doorway, wine glass in hand.

“Is the sex any different? Now that you’re preggers?” Clara glanced at her glass and downed its’ contents. “Like, super sensitive and whatnot?”

“I don’t know.” Annie tapped her toes on the tile flooring, leaning her elbows on her knees. She propped her chin on the palm of her hand and sighed. "Sex with Ben is always different.”

“I mean,” Clara leaned against the door frame and flipped her glass upside down, “I heard someone say it was like having sex while high on MJ”.

“He’s just so surprising,” Annie gushed as she rolled toilet paper around her hand, “can you please just turn around for a sec?”

“Banana, I’ve seen your bizz more times than I care to admit.”

“Yeah, but not when I peed!”

“Fine. I’ll just go pour me some more fun juice.”

“Yes!” Annie nodded, “you do that! You’re drinking for both of us now!”

“He’s just so freaking hot!” Clara yelled from the kitchen.

“I know!” Annie sighed with a smile, thinking of Ben. Suddenly, the realization hit her - maybe Clara wasn’t talking about Gwil anymore? “Wait! Who?”

###

“I know you’re in a rush,” Gwil was dancing in his seat, and not because of the music, “but I need to make a quick stop.”

“Christ, Gwil, even Frankie can hold it!” Ben groaned.

“First you call me a loser,” Gwil huffed, “then you compare me to a dog. Frankie?” Gwil twisted in his seat to look back at the sleepy pup, “need to go pee pee?”

Frankie started wagging her tail, slapping it against the back seat. Ben rolled his eyes and pulled over, turning his blinkers on.

“Well, go ahead then, you big baby!” he muttered as Gwil opened his door and took a few steps into the darkness. He drummed along to the music on the steering wheel as he waited for Gwil’s lanky body to collapse back into the passenger seat. “All good?”

“All good.”

The song on the playlist changed and a familiar riff played through. Ben laughed at Gwil’s music, his eyebrows shooting up.

“TLC?” Ben chuckled, “seriously?”

“Hey, I don’t want no scrubs, okay?”

“My God…”

Gwil started lip-syncing along to the lyrics, adding dramatic hand gestures. Ben laughed but couldn’t help but join in. Soon enough, Gwil was filming them both rocking it out to No Scrubs and sent it to Joe. Without fail, Joe’s hysterical voice came through the speaker phone.

“What is this?!”

“Hey buddy!” Ben glanced over at Gwil, who was still doing his interpretive dance. “What are you doing up?”

“Where are you?!”

“On our way to Truro.”

“Who the fuck is that?!”

“God, you’re so bloody American…” Gwil finally spoke. “It’s not who. It’s where.”

“Well, where the fuck is that?!”

“About five hours away?” Ben looked at his navigation app, “well, we’re halfway there, so two and a half hours.”

“But why?”

“Because Ben is impulsive and Annie is holding my girlfriend hostage.” Gwil said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe.

“You’re going to see Annie?”

“Yep.” Ben couldn’t stop smiling.

“Is he smiling like an idiot?” Joe asked.

“He sure is.” Gwil snorted.

“Have fun, guys.”

###

“It’s been 84 years, Annie!” Clara face-planted into a throw pillow on the sofa, “I’m not okay!”

“It’s literally been just over a week!”

“I miss Gwil!”

“I know, it’s all you’ve been saying for the last hour.” Annie yawned.

“I just wish he was here, okay?” Clara whined. “I have needs!”

“Please don’t talk about your needs.”

“Alright, my little cautionary tale,” Clara teased, “I won’t. We’ve seen where needs will get you.”

“Excuse you!” Annie kicked her gently, “you apologise to Bumpy right now!”

“No!”

“Clara, you will never get to see this baby -”

“Okay!” Clara groaned, “I’m sorry, Bumpy.”

“Apology accepted.”

“I need Gwil.” Clara sighed, cuddling up to Annie’s side.

“As appalled as I am by it,” Annie stroked Clara’s hair, “I get it. I need Ben.”

They sat together in comfortable silence for a few minutes, lost in thought.

“I have an idea!” Clara almost fell face-first into the coffee table in her rush to get to her phone. Tapping clumsily at the screen, she turned on the front camera and curled back up to Annie’s side. “Hear me out on this one.”

“All ears.”

“What if we do a boomerang and send it to Gwil?” Clara had a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, “I mean, Ben and Gwil are together for sure. Killing two birds with one stone and whatnot.”

“Okay?”

“So we’re going to pretend to go in for a kiss, yeah?”

“Clara, if you want to make out with me, you can just ask and I’ll say no.”

“Get over yourself, love!” Clara scoffed, “I’m not going to kiss you for real!”

“Good, Ben wouldn’t like that.”

“I have a feeling he would, actually.” Clara held her phone up in front of them, trying to get a good angle, “okay, ready?”

“You’re all shaky, Clara!” Annie snatched the phone away, “God you have zero tolerance for alcohol, you leaf!”

Clara rolled her eyes and took Annie’s face in her hands. They counted to three and leaned in, parting their lips and bumping their noses together.

“Right, let’s see what we got!” Clara rubbed her hands before reaching for her phone. “Oh, yeah, they’ll like this.”

“Let me see!” Annie tilted Clara’s hand and peered at the screen. “Oh. Yes.”

###

“What the…” Gwil mumbled as he looked at his phone. “What is happening?” “What?” Ben munched on a candy bar as he drove. 

“I don’t -” 

“What is it?” Ben’s gaze flickered from Gwil’s bewildered face to the dark road. “Well, it’s something Clara sent me.” 

“Oh?” Ben grinned a bit lopsided, “sent you some racy photos eh?” 

“Not quite a photo…” 

“Well, let me see!” 

“No!” Gwil pressed the phone to his chest, “no. You’ll end up killing us!” 

“Oh, come on!” 

“I mean it!” Gwil switched the screen off, “Annie’s in it, too.” 

“Fuck you!” Ben whined. “Now I have to see it! Although,” Ben chuckled, “you getting all flustered on your pregnant cousin’s nude is -”

“You are absolutely disgusting, Ben!” Gwil smacked him on the back of his head, “they’re not naked! Both are clothed!” 

“Well then I don’t see what the big deal about it is!” Ben rubbed the back of his head. 

“Pull over.” 

“Now you have to pee again?” 

“No, you twat,” Gwil groaned, “I need you to pull over so we don’t wreck the car and die!” 

“Jesus, you’re so dramatic sometimes.” Ben muttered, “it’s like having a fit is in your DNA.” 

“Just shut up and do it.” Gwil commanded.

With a huge sigh, Ben pulled over to the side of the road and parked. His jaw clenched shut, he glared at Gwil. 

“Well, are you going to show me or…” Ben’s rant was cut sort by the two girls moving in on each other and back again, as if they are about to kiss. Their noses bumped and their lips barely brushed against each other, and they both had the most devilish smiles on their faces. “Fucking hell.”

###

Clara sat sulking on the rug, her back against the sofa. She gave up on using a glass and was now drinking straight from the bottle as Annie braided her hair in French plaits.

“Maybe he’s asleep and he just didn’t see it?” Annie said soothingly, “he’s an old man, babe.”

“He hated it!” Clara’s speech was starting to slur, but that still didn’t stop her from chugging on her second bottle of wine. “I ruined everything!”

“You didn’t ruin anything, woman!” Annie’s nimble fingers wove Clara’s blonde locks into perfect braids. She heard a sniffle and a stuttered breath. “Are you actually crying right now?”

“You just don’t understand!”

“Oh my God, you’ve finally gone mad.”

“Shut up!”

“Clara, he’s probably just asleep. You have nothing to worry about.”

Clara’s legs slid forward. She looked like a rag-doll, sitting down with no pants, a t-shirt that could be considered a dress with how long it was on her body and pigtails. Her cheeks were flushed from alcohol and embarrassment and her bottom lip stuck out in a pout. She winked and peered into the bottle of wine.

“S’almost over!” she tilted her head back and looked at Annie with big, glossy eyes, “need more!”

“I think you’ve had enough, actually.”

“Oh, don’t be such a mum!”

“I’m just not keen on cleaning up after you’ve hurled everywhere!”

“Hey, I’m being a good friend here!” Clara tried to point at herself but her hand-eye coordination was long gone, “I’m helping you prepare!”

“Prepare?”

“Um? Yeah?” Clara raised her eyebrows and scoffed, “for when little Josephine comes out!”

###

They rode in silence. Ben’s eyes were fixed forward. He felt like his heart is going to beat itself right out of his chest. He kept looking down at the dashboard to make sure he’s going as fast as he can without speeding, but his foot felt a bit heavy on the gas pedal. He needed to get to Annie, fast.

Gwil, on the other hand, leaned back and closed his eyes. His hands were strategically placed in his lap, hiding the aftermath of Clara and Annie’s teasing. He bit the inside of his cheek, imagining every possible scenario he could think of.

“How much longer?” Gwil’s eyes fluttered open and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“GPS says one hour.”

“Why would she even send that?” Gwil rubbed the scruff on his chin, “I mean, with my cousin, for fuck’s sake!”

“They probably just assumed we were together.”

“They’re not wrong.”

“Nope.”

“Can you go any faster?” Gwil knees bounced impatiently.

“Believe me, I want to.” Ben muttered.

###

“Alright, alright!” a loud hiccup escaped Clara’s mouth, “would you rather sit on a hedgehog or shower with bees?”

“What?!”

“Sit on a hedgehog or shower with bees?”

“How do you even -”

“Don’t dwell on it, man! Just pick one!”

“Sit on a hedgehog!” Annie blurted out. “Don’t yell at me!”

“I’m not yelling!”

“Christ, your drunk voice is so loud!” Annie covered her ears, “volume, lady!”

“Sorry!” Clara whispered.

“Okay. Would you rather…” Annie tapped her finger against her chin as she tried to come up with something. “Would you rather fuck a Teletubby or lick an octopus?”

“Which Teletubby?”

“Does it really fucking matter?”

“Solid point.” Clara yawned. “Lick an octopus.”

“You are disgusting.”

“It’s why you love me.” Clara stood up, swaying a bit on her feet. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a toilet to cuddle.”

###

“What if they’re both asleep and they won’t hear us knocking?” Ben’s eyes were as big as saucers. “What if she didn’t leave the light on and was just kidding and -”

“Ben, mate,” Gwil rubbed his face groggily, “it’s half past two. I’m knackered. Can you stop with this nonsense?”

Ben could have sworn his entire body was buzzing with anxiety and excitement. Frankie was sleeping on her back, paws in the air, in the back seat. On one hand, he envied her more than he cared to admit. On the other hand, he felt like he will never sleep again.

“Gwil?”

“Yeah?” Gwil yawned out.

“Thanks. For coming with me.”

“S’nothing, really.” Gwil shrugged. “You missed your girl, I missed mine.”

“No, really. I owe you.”

“Oh, yeah?” Gwil smiled lazily, “alright then. You can repay me right now if you want.”

“Sure,” Ben nodded, “anything.”

“What’s the baby’s name?”

“Anything but that.”

“Oh, come on!” Gwil groaned. “I’m the godfather! I have a right to know!”

“We’re not telling anyone until Elvis will leave the building, mate!” Ben rolled his eyes, “not even our own families.”

“It’s the only way your can repay me for coming with you, Ben.”

“Shut up.”

“I mean it!” Gwil bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing. “Either you tell me what the baby’s name is right now or you’ll owe me for the rest of your life!”

“You’re not going to let this go?”

“Nope.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

“Hold on then, I need to document this.” Gwil fumbled with his phone and turned on the camera. “Go.”

“Her name is Josephine. Will you let it go, now?”

“You have reached your destination.” The robotic lady on the GPS app announced.

“The light is on.” Ben looked at the door and beamed.

###

Annie grunted as she opened her eyes. The knocking on the door wouldn’t stop. She looked at the clock on the wall and groaned when she saw the time - it was almost three in the morning. A slight panic washed over her; people don’t just knock on doors at this time. She got up as quietly as she could and tip-toed her way to the front door. After taking a deep breath, she looked out the peephole.

Her chin started quivering, her hands shaking. Through the fisheye lens, she saw Ben’s beautiful, tired face, and Gwil right behind him. Frankie’s tail, knocking rhythmically against the wall, was like music to Annie’s ears. She flung the door open, shaking and sobbing uncontrollably.

“Shhh, hey,” Ben cooed and engulfed her in his arms, kissing the top of her head, “what’s wrong?”

Annie couldn’t form a coherent sentence. All she could do was weep and hold onto Ben for dear life. She felt Ben’s tears wet her hair and tried to hug him even tighter. She didn’t know why she was crying, or why he was crying.

“We’re pathetic,” Ben wiped his cheeks on his arms before he tended to Annie’s, “aren’t we?”

“Mmm’yeah…” Annie smiled, despite the crying, and bit her bottom lip. She leaned into Ben’s touch, turning her head to kiss the palms of his hands. Frankie stood up on her hind legs, scratching at Annie’s hip for attention. “Hi, baby! I missed you!”

“Where is she?” Gwil grunted as he zoomed past them, “hi Banana.”

“In her room, second door to the left,” Annie said without taking her eyes off of Ben. “What are you doing here?”

“I told you, I wasn’t going home tonight,” Ben pressed his forehead to hers, “and I couldn’t just leave Frankie all alone until Monday.”

“I just didn’t believe you’d actually drive five hours in the middle of the night.”

“I’d do anything for you.”

Frankie came back, running circles around the pathetic duo, biting on her bunny to make it squeak.

“Franks, hush!” Annie giggled, “you’ll wake Clara up.” A shrill scream came from behind Clara’s bedroom door. “Never mind.”

###

“I’m sorry.”

Annie’s eyes fluttered open and she looked up at Ben, her head resting on his chest. After they finished sobbing at the door, all Ben wanted was to take her to bed and drown in her presence. He felt like all five of his senses were screaming with delight, now that she was finally there.

“What are you sorry for?” Annie propped herself up on her elbow. Her free hand trailed up Ben’s body, stopping right over where she could feel his heart beating.

“For how things were when you left.” Ben reached up to push her hair over her shoulder. “For Cassie.”

“You don’t need to apologise for that.”

“No, I really am sorry,” Ben felt like he was free-falling when he looked in her eyes, “you’re pregnant with my baby. I shouldn’t have put you through it.”

“I kind of had it coming, didn’t I?” Annie shrugged.

“Maybe, if you weren’t so pregnant.” Ben smirked and turned on his side, instinctively placing a hand on her belly. “But now that you are?”

“Still had it coming.”

“You left without saying goodbye or sleeping in our bed,” Ben swallowed down a lump in his throat, “and then every time we spoke it just felt so forced and…”

“What?”

“And it scared me.” Ben took Annie’s hand and brushed her knuckles against his lips. “It really fucking scared me.”

“What did?”

“How calm you were.” His voice was barely a whisper. “Usually when we fight you’re all over the place, but the fact that you were so calm...”

“I recall crying until I had to rehydrate all night, actually.”

“Yeah, you cried, but you didn’t yell at me.” Ben rubbed gentle circles on Annie’s bump. “You didn’t even call me names.”

“What?” Annie giggled.

“When you call me names, I know that you’re just royally pissed off but that it’ll pass and we’ll be back to normal again.” He bit his bottom lip, letting it roll out from under his teeth slowly. “And then you didn’t call me names. At all. That’s when I knew I went too far.”

“But you still had Cassie around.”

“I was hoping to get a reaction out of you.” Ben chuckled. “I was waiting for you to call me a twat or a knob or even fucking Boob Tape.”

“Ben Hardy,” Annie scoffed, “are you saying that the only reason you’re here tonight is because I called you a twat earlier?”

“Well…”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Annie rolled her eyes and yelped in surprise when Ben’s lips were on hers.

They both snorted at the same time into the kiss. Ben rolled on his back, grabbing Annie. She straddled him, careful not to lean all her weight on Bumpy, and peppered kisses all over his face.

“Oh, God,” Ben grunted as he turned his head to the side and saw the sunrise illuminate the window softly, “is it already light out?”

###

Ben woke up to the sound of whispers and giggles coming from the foot of the bed. Opening one eye, he peeked and found Gwil and Clara pointing a phone at them.

“What the fuck are you doing?” his voice was raspy from sleep. “Why are you even in our room?”

“First of all, it’s Annie’s room.” Clara whispered, “second of all, Frankie scratched at the door. She needed to be let out.”

“You two are very irresponsible parents.” Gwil tutted. “Sleeping in when your baby needs to go potty.”

“Get the fuck out!” Ben hissed, pulling the covers over his and Annie’s heads. “We’re naked!”

“No you’re not,” Clara retorted, “I can see Annie’s sock poking out.”

“Her feet got cold.” His voice was muffled.

The lump under the covers moved a little. Clara and Gwil exchanged a sheepish glance when the distinct sound of kissing, grunting and stifled moans emanated from the bed.

“Fucking hell, at least wait till we’re out of the room!” Gwil grumbled and covered Clara’s eyes.

Ben’s middle finger poked out of the covers.

###

“What’s all this?”

Clara and Annie peered into the kitchen, coming back from an exceptionally long walk with Frankie. Their cheeks and tips of the nose were rosy from the cool air. They had both woven their hair into intricate braids while outside.

“Ah,” Gwil walked over and kissed Clara sweetly, “I see Helga and Brunhilda have returned!”

“Which one of us is Helga?” Clara looked up at Gwilym, eyes twinkling with love.

“You, of course.” He wrapped his arms around her. “You’re much too dainty to be a Brunhilda.”

“Oh, shove it!” Annie rolled her eyes and walked over to Ben. “What’s cookin’, good lookin’?”

“Well,” he put the lid back on the pot, “we figured you’d both come back hungry after being gone for two and a half hours.”

“Good thinking.” Annie winked.

“And since you are both on vacation, we also figured it would be nice for you two to actually not have to cook for yourselves or get take-out.”

“You’re an angel!” Annie kissed Ben’s shoulder and giggled when he grabbed her face in his hands and stamped a noisy, wet kiss onto her lips.

“Good Lord,” Gwil snorted, “he actually domesticated a feral Annabelle.”

“I think it’s sweet.” Clara cooed.

“Tell a living soul about what you’ve seen over the weekend and I will cut you both,” Annie glared at her cousin, “don’t test me.”

“I take it back,” Gwil stepped back, holding his hands up in front of him, “she’s still a wild beast.”

Ben and Annie exchanged a knowing look, smirking at each other.

“Gwil, take over for me, please.” Ben took Annie’s hand and led her away.

“For crying out loud, mate,” Gwil called after Annie and Ben as they skipped along to the bedroom, “she’s already pregnant!”

###

“Did you start decorating the nursery?” Clara asked as she picked up the dishes once everyone finished eating.

“Well...” Annie squeaked with a grimace.

“Are you waiting for the baby to come out and help you with it?” Gwil snorted.

“I mean, there’s still time! Right?” Annie looked at Ben hopefully.

“You’re six months pregnant, Annabelle!” Gwil glowered, “there’s not a whole lot of it left!”

“I’m well aware of that, Gwilly, thank you.”

“It’s just that I need my gym and my drums,” Ben scowled at his own words once they were out of his mouth, “and we only have that extra room.”

“The baby can’t sleep on the kit, Ben,” Annie snapped, “we’ve talked about this!”

“I was only joking when I suggested that!”

“Were you, really?”

“No…”

Clara and Gwil looked from Ben to Annie during the exchange as if they were watching a tennis match. They both sipped their wine quietly.

“The baby will sleep in a crib by our bedside for the first few months anyway,” Ben reminded his girlfriend, “so we still have plenty of time to figure that out.”

“What about a changing table?” Gwil intervened, “toys? Wardrobe?” Annie and Ben looked at him, dumbfounded. “Discuss.”

“Fuck off mate!” Ben scoffed. “This is a family discussion!”

“He has a point.” Annie shrugged.

“I’m not losing my kit and my gym, Annie.”

“Well, I’m not sleeping in the same room with the kid till she moves out!” Annie crossed her arms in triumph.

“When do you think they’ll figure it out, then?” Clara asked Gwil, her voice low.

“Give them a couple more minutes.” Gwil muttered back. 

“How much space does one baby need?” Ben started talking with his hands, indicating his frustration. “It’s hardly Frankie’s size!”

“It needs furniture!” Annie turned to look at Gwil and Clara, “right?”

“Definitely needs furniture, love.” Clara confirmed and poured herself another glass of wine.

“Our place just isn’t big enough, Ben.” Annie sighed in defeat.

“What if we moved, then?” Ben’s eyes lit up. “To a bigger place?”

“You’d do that?” Annie raised an eyebrow. “You love your flat!”

“The baby needs a room with furniture, yeah?”  

“Yeah.”

“And I need a room for my drums and my gym, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Then it’s settled. We’re going house hunting.”

Clara screamed with her mouth closed, clapping her hands.

Taglist: @ramibaby @xgoingdownx @clara-who @violetpond @sweeterthancheese @drummerqueenrmt @westansstuff @rogerinamainbitch @justgivemethekeys  @blondecarfucker @cheeseedreams47 @rogerspoison @deacy-dearest @pinkmarvel @onceuponadetectivedemigod​ @darcyshire

[amyscascadingtabs]

46!

well this got away from me like.. a lot.. but enjoy!

46; “Have you seen the… Oh.”

Three minutes is such a long time, she thinks as she sets the timer on her phone, keeping the peed-on plastic stick in a closed grip so she doesn’t have to see the result.

She’s still not sure what she wants it to show.

From outside the door, she can hear Jake moving around in their apartment, completely oblivious to the major crisis his fiancée is going through. She’s curled up on the toilet hugging her legs and holding her thumb over the test’s digital screen, and she should probably tell him - scratch that, she should definitely tell him, seeing as he’s the only plausible father of the potential foetus inside her and all - but she can’t make herself raise her voice to call for him.

She takes a deep breath. Then another.

So yeah, Amy’s period is a few days late, and it could easily be stress, but work has been a lot and everything has been a lot and it’s possible she’s forgot her birth control once or twice this month and it’s possible she hasn’t remembered this means they need to use condoms to be on the safe side. Long story short, she could be pregnant, a terrifying and life-changing possibility which in this moment frightens her half to death. It’s unplanned. They still haven’t had the much-needed conversation about kids. It’d clash with their wedding plans and her becoming a sergeant. There needs to be a minus sign on this test, and yet she keeps imagining a plus one staring her in the face.

She imagines the purity and magic of holding one of her nieces and nephews as newborns a thousand times intensified, a baby with Jake’s eyes or a toddler with his curls, sleepless nights with him by her side and watching a kid take their doubting first steps. She thinks about their mutual fawning over Terry’s daughters tiny shoes and the warmth in her heart when he so skilfully explained such an advanced concept as structural racism to young children, about seeing him with newborn Ava, and about the smile on his lips when it was her turn to hold the youngest Jeffords daughter. There’s the possibility of a plus sign on this test, of something, someone, growing inside of her - it sure would explain why she’s been so exhausted lately - and it freaks her out enough to start shaking with anxiety, but in a weird way, it also doesn’t.

Two minutes.

For someone who thinks of everything, Amy Santiago never really thought about kids in a serious way, and she’s regretting it now. There’s an eventual version of the life calendar with space for them, of course there is, but she never truthfully imagined having to use it. She’s doing so good with her current one. Having a kid would change everything from her body to how she’d spend her time off duty to possibly the way she’s planned out most of her major life milestones in bolded letters, and she’s not quite sure she’s ready to change.

Then again, she wasn’t sure about being ready to change when Jake kissed her that day in the evidence locker, and now there’s an engagement ring on her left hand and a wedding planning binder on their coffee table. So maybe change isn’t always bad.

One and a half minutes.

“Ames?” Her fiancés voice is what eventually brings her out of the deep thinking, the tone of it alarmingly high. “Can I come into the bathroom?”

Her heart jumps, eyes darting to the carton on the sink whose text Jake can most definitely read.

“Why?”

“I can’t find my phone - I’m thinking I might have left it in here.” Now when he says it, she does see his phone on the bathroom counter. Next to the carton. Crap. “Look, it doesn’t sound like you’re using the toilet or shower and we’re engaged, I’m just going to come in.”

“Jake -” She tries to protest, but she did forget to lock the door and he enters, eyes darting around to look for his phone but getting stuck on her visibly anxious form.

“Babe, have you seen the…” He sees the phone, rushing to get it while also noting the damned pregnancy test carton. “Oh.”

“Indeed”, she mumbles.

“Is this - are you - Ames?”

“I’ll know in a minute.”

“Oh.”

“Mmhmm.”

“Oh.”

“We need to talk.”

“I’d say that’s an understatement.”

With one minute left, she starts telling him all her fears and worries, about her career and their apartment and everything that could go wrong, about the fear of them not being good parents and not loving their kid enough, about the money and planning and time them having a child demands. The timer on her phone goes off and he takes the test from her, placing it face-down on the floor so she can finish talking before they see the results.

Eventually she’s out of words, sitting down next to him and letting him hug her, letting her tears fall as he strokes her hair.

“You know”, he whispers in her ear, his voice shaking a little, too. “All the things you mentioned - we’d solve them. If we had kids, I would stay home more, for example.”

“You would?”

“Of course I would. You’re going to become the youngest female Captain of the NYPD, and while you if anyone would be able to combine that with motherhood, I’d easily work less if it meant spending more time with my kid.”

She takes a shaky breath, trying to regain her composure.

“And all the other stuff you mentioned - we would solve that, too. Together”, he tells her, and she believes it. “Because I know there’s no way I wouldn’t love a kid who’s half you.”

“I know”, she mumbles. “I know - I know I’d love them, too. But I didn’t… I never thought about kids before you.”

“Ditto.”

“I just wanted to be married first. I wanted to plan it.”

“Well”, he says, holding up the test stick in front of her eyes, calming smile on his lips. “You still can. This is negative.”

“Oh thank god.”

They sit in silence for a minute, him still stroking her hair while she takes deep breaths.

“Jake?”

“Mm-hmm?”

“Do you think maybe - after we’ve been married for a little while - we could try for real?”

He chuckles softly, kissing her forehead twice. “I’ll make an appointment in our shared calendar.”

“It’s my body, I’m making the appointment.”

[maevefiction]

Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 18

When I awakened I was flat on my back, covers akimbo, Tom’s leg resting heavily over the lower half of my body, his bruised hand cupping my breast. I ran my fingers over his knuckles lightly, assessing the damage. I hadn’t thought to look closely in the bathroom to see what he’d struck. His breathing changed, and I knew he was awake as well. I turned my head to look at him as I rested my hand on top of his.

“You should tell him, you know.”

He yawned, blinking. “Tell who what now?”

“Your therapist. If you’re going to continue seeing him, you should tell him about…”

He rose up on one elbow. “About the baby?” I nodded, and he kissed me on the forehead. “I know. I will. Can’t very well expect him to help me resolve issues he’s completely unaware of.” He frowned. “It is what broke me, after all.”

I reached up and brushed his cheek with the back of my hand, his day-old beard scratchy and soft all at once. “Ditto.”

The left side of his mouth turned up in a sad, lopsided smile. “That’s the first time I’ve said the words out loud since it happened. The baby. I think about it that way all the time, but I don’t say it. Because it…wasn’t…yet, scientifically speaking? So it seems inappropriate to say, like it’s somehow offensive to term it such. My own experience gets all caught up with my unshakable belief that it’s the woman’s body, therefore, it’s her choice to do what she feels is necessary to do regarding a pregnancy.”

I frowned. “I’m in full agreement with you there. Though I don’t agree with a woman allowing her partner to think one thing when her actual intentions have been something completely different all along.” I shook my head. “Sorry. Don’t want to dredge it all up again every time you mention it…”

“No, don’t be. Please. I’m glad to finally be able to talk about it with someone other than myself. I think it’s…cathartic?”

I kissed his cheek. “Good. But if you want me to shut up at any point, say so.”

He opened his eyes wide. “And my saying so will actually result in the cessation of your speaking?”

“Fuck off.”

He laughed for a moment, then sat up. “Do you think about it?”

I sat up as well, watching his eyes drop to my breasts briefly, then return to my face. “Yes. Of course I do. The first week of May each year I find myself thinking of how old he…or she…would have been. That was right around when I would have been due. Eighteen this year. Which is…insane, isn’t it?”

He took my hand. “Five and a half months for me.”

We were silent for a few minutes, holding hands. He spoke first. “Maude, do you still want to have children?”

My brow furrowed as I considered a question I never thought I’d need to answer, and I let my heart lead instead of my brain. “I never really thought about it since, but…yes. Not right, like, now, but despite the fact that I have zero maternal skills or instincts and thus a most likely very limited potential for filling such a role, I’d like to have a family.”

He leaned in toward me, resting one hand on my hip, whispering softly in my ear. “You’ll be an incredible mother, Maude. Don’t you dare doubt that, not for a single second.”

I snorted. “I suppose if I use my own mother as a shining example of everything I shouldn’t do, I might not be half bad at it. Lord knows I don’t think it’s possible to fuck it up worse than she did.” I poked my index finger into his chest. “And you? Do you still want kids?”

He nodded. “I’ve always wanted a family of my own. To be a father. And, like you, I don’t think I could fuck it up any worse than my father did.” A smile spread slowly across his face. “For the first time, I’m finding myself thinking that I’m…well…no longer quite as devastated that things worked out the way they did. Is that awful of me? I hope not. I mean, if they hadn’t, we would have never met…”

“I’m actually totally on board with that, Hiddleston. And I’m also on board with a nice, hot shower followed by coffee and beignets at Café du Monde. You?”

“Will you be dressing after the shower? I mean, I don’t mind a bit if you’d like to venture out nude…”

I punched him in the arm. “Ugh. It’s not even seven AM yet. No. Just…no.”

He grinned, jumped up, grabbed his carryon bag and ran into the bathroom ahead of me before I could even stand.

“Thomas, you bastard…I have to pee so bad I’m going to scream.” I heard the toilet flush, then the shower turn on.

“The throne is all yours, my queen.”

“Wow. Such a benevolent king you are.” I tried to run my hands through my tangled hair as I sat down on the bowl. “If you don’t leave me some hot water you’re a dead man. You know that, right?”

He chuckled. I peed, flushed, washed my hands and went to dig around in my carryon for my shampoo, soap and all the other crap I needed to make myself look relatively human. My contacts felt like they were fused to my eyeballs, so I figured a change might be in order. I couldn’t remember where I’d put the box of them that I’d had shipped to Hawaii, but after strewing clothing all over the room floor and a long string of profanities into the air I found them safely tucked away in one of my floral print Doc Martens. I was kneeling naked on the carpet, leaning on one arm while I shoved the box of contacts back in my shoe with the other when I heard a heavy, wet thunk behind me. I craned my neck to determine the source, only to find Tom standing behind me, still glistening wet and dripping, the towel he’d begun drying himself with in a heap on the floor at his feet, his cock proudly erect, nostrils flaring and chest heaving.

I raised my left eyebrow. “Hi. Was there something you needed from me? Or are you just going to stand there like a Grecian statue subjecting me to Chinese water torture with all that drip…”

He sank to his knees and leaned over me, covering my body with his, hands on the floor next to mine. His cock slipped into the crack of my ass and he slid himself up and down it briefly, then paused. “Need. Something.”

He growled and thrust his hips forward, and the vibrations from his chest felt like a giant cat purring against my back. His lips found my neck, and he balanced on one hand as he reached under me with the other to cup my mound as he slid his index finger between my lips. He stilled.

“Maude, is something…is everything okay? You…you’re not…”

I’d hoped he wouldn’t notice. I should have known better. “Not as wet as I usually am? Yeah. Sorry. Don’t worry about it. It’s fine. Please, continue.”

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to a sitting position as he rested on his haunches. “It’s not fine, love. I’m so sorry…I should have asked…you’re thinking about having to make all the necessary plans so you can bury your mother and here I am…”

I shook my head. “No, no…it’s not that. Not that at all. I think I’ve just got a mild case of…erm…performance anxiety, maybe?”

His mouth opened, then closed, finally frowning as his brow creased. “What? But…why would you…?” The crease faded and when his eyes widened and he bit his lip I knew he’d answered his own question.

My hands were clenched into fists, thumbs running back and forth over the sides of my index fingers. “Damn. I am really, really not proficient at this whole talking about my feelings bullshit.”

He reached out and put his hands over mine. “Tell me what’s on your mind. We’ll figure it all out together, all right?”

“Okay.” I took a deep breath and let it out to the count of ten. “I knew you’d been with other people. Obviously. And that’s, you know, fine. People need to get laid. That’s the deal. People have prior relationships. Also the deal. But now that I, like, really KNOW just how much more experience you’ve had than I have…I guess…oy…eh, fuck it…when presented with the reality of being intimate with you, it seems that all my sexual confidence went flying out the window and I feel as if anything I do in an attempt to satisfy you will be thoroughly inadequate.” I pulled my hands out from under his and covered my face as I shook my head. “Jesus fucking Christ, did I actually just say that out loud?”

He sat behind me, back against the bed, legs extended and resting on either side of mine, arms wrapped around my waist and his chin on my shoulder. “Yes, you did. And I’m glad you did. Maude, if the situation were reversed and I’d just learned about you what you learned about me last night…I’d like to think otherwise, but in actuality I believe I’d be feeling the exact same way.”

I sighed and dropped my chin to my chest as he continued speaking.

“Yes, I’ve had a far greater number of sexual encounters than you, many of them not exactly traditional or what one would expect their partner to have experienced. But I can say, with complete candor, that I have never experienced the sort of pure, unadulterated, lascivious carnal pleasure you bestow upon me with anyone else. NO ONE. I’d have use the term ‘satisfaction’ but that’s the understatement of the century and not the slightest bit accurate. Because that’s the thing of it, Maude…I’m never satisfied. As soon as I’ve had you, I want you again. I’ve spent the last two weeks in a nearly constant state of arousal. I wake up wanting you, I fall asleep wanting you. The slightest touch from you makes me hard. When I catch your scent, it makes me hard. The sound of your voice. My name on your lips, the way you move, a sideways glance in my direction, the peal of your laughter…and when you sing, my good lord, when you sing…I haven’t been this continually tumescent since I was a teenager. Perhaps ever. The way you feel around me when I’m inside you, how you can take all of me and I don’t have to hold back for fear of hurting you, the way you nearly swallow me whole, your boundless enthusiasm, your adventurousness, that your sense of humor extends into the bedroom, so to speak…your unabashed self-confidence…and the sounds you make, Maude, what they do to me…”

I turned around to face him, put my knees on the outside of his thighs and sank down on his cock, panting. “’K. I’m good now. Thanks for that. Fuck me?”

He grinned. “In this particular position I believe you’re going to have to do the majority of the fucking.”

“Fine. Whatever.” I grabbed his shoulders and began riding him mercilessly, rolling my hips as I chased the orgasm that had been building since he was midway through his monologue. My eyes traveled to where we were joined and lingered there, watching the way his hips rose and fell as he tried to thrust deeper. I moved my knees outward to give him better access, and the moan he let loose drew my eyes back to his face. His head lolled back on the bed, eyes closed, jaw clenched, hands on my ass, and the sight of him sent me over, walls clenching, squeezing him as the edges of my vision grew dim. I could feel him twitching, then stuttering as he began to come.

“Thomas, you are so fucking beautiful I swear I could come just from looking at you.”

He grabbed the sides of my head with his hands and kissed me, thrusting his tongue into my mouth as he spurted inside me, the sensation of his hot come coating my walls propelling me into a second orgasm that was even more powerful than the first. I pulled away from his mouth, wrapped my arms around him and collapsed, head on his shoulder, face buried in his neck.

He whispered in my ear. “That was an incredibly lovely thing to say, my darling. I feel the same way about you, you know.”

I didn’t have the energy to speak so I licked his neck instead.

He snorted. “So, performance anxiety problem solved, then, yeah?”

I ground down on his softening cock, feeling it begin to harden again instantly. “Yep. Yes. Indeed it is. And, thank you. You sure know how to make a girl feel good about herself.”

“And you sure know how to make a fella feel good about himself.” He kissed my forehead. “I’d rather stay here all day, but I suppose we should get going, eh?”

I sighed, grabbing his wet towel off the floor and stuffing it between my legs as I climbed off him and gathered up my stuff. Once I was in the bathroom I mopped myself off with the towel, then tossed it on the floor before stepping into the shower.

“Tom?”

“Yes?”

“Will you please make a note somewhere so we remember to tip the maids really, really well?”

He laughed. “Why, are you planning on making a mess?”

“We already made a mess.”

Silence for a moment. “Oh. I get it. Yes. Huge tip.” A long pause. “Note made.”

“Thank you.”

“You know, I have a decent cash flow at the moment so if you wish to partake in the creation of additional messes…”

“Count on it, stud muffin.”  

“Stud? What, I’m a horse now?”

“I’m not sure you should go there, Loki.”

Silence again, until the shower curtain was flung open so I could watch as he whinnied and pranced around the bathroom.

I laughed until I cried, losing one of my crusty old contacts in the process.

“God…Tom…” Another fit of laughter. “You are…such…a fucking…dork.”

He grinned from ear to ear. “I’m aware. You look incredibly sexy when you laugh, you know.”

“Get out of my bathroom, you asshole. I need to focus. Which is an even bigger challenge now since I can only see out of one eye.”

He smirked.

“GO!”

“I love you, woman.”

“I love you too. Now get the fuck out, m’kay? And put some clothes on.”

He stuck his tongue out at me, then slapped himself on the ass as he walked through the door and into the main area of the room.

**************************************** For once, I knew exactly what I was going to wear before I even put my underwear on - brown and black galaxy print tank dress with my black Birkenstocks. The grommeted gladiator sandals seemed a little too flashy for the tasks at hand, and the forecasted temperature was ninety-seven degrees. No way did I want those strings digging into my sweaty calves. I even had my hair up in a top- knot so it wouldn’t be stuck to my neck all day long. Despite my suggestion that he wear shorts, Tom opted for a black V-neck T-shirt, jeans and…those boots.

We’d planned on walking, but once we stepped outside and the humidity slapped us in the face we turned to each other and said ‘car’ in unison. Café du Monde was two miles from the hotel, and we parked a few blocks away. Tom had never been, and watching him take it all in was a delight. He was captivated by the architecture, the diversity of the crowd, and the strains of music in the air even at this early hour. When we arrived at the Café, he grabbed my arm and shook it gently.

“I’ve seen pictures, and read about it in so many books over the years…and now, here it is, right in front of me!” He pulled out his phone, took a selfie with the patio and awning in view, typed with his thumbs, then showed me his tweet.

New Orleans. Café du Monde. Going to have my first official beignet with a café au lait. #uncontrolablyexcited

I grinned as we entered the building. “If you think you’re excited now wait until you taste the fucking things.” We took our place in the line to order. “And nice job with the tweeting. Going to put in on Tumblr, too?”

He shook his head. “Nope. The shot I get out on the patio is going there.”

“I’m impressed, Thomas.”

“Well, all the credit belongs to my social media manager. She may be a tad demanding, but she’s an exceptionally good motivator.”

I shrugged. “I can’t argue with any of that. Well, I suppose I could, but I’d rather stuff my face with powdered-sugar coated fried dough.”

A single order of beignets consisted of three delectable squares of goodness, and we each got two, giving us a total of twelve beignets. Which, in the past, I’d had no problems polishing off on my own. I convinced myself I could share like a responsible, caring adult…and if that didn’t work out, we could always order more. Tom’s café au lait was the traditional kind, served hot, and I decided the iced version was the way to go. It was technically only half coffee, so one surely couldn’t hurt me too badly as, unlike yesterday, I had a few solid hours of sleep under my belt and was vastly less anxious. Plus, you can’t go to the Café du Monde and order soda. It’s just not right. And soda mixed with all that powdered sugar…too sweet, even for me.

We made our way out to the patio and found a corner right next to the fence with a great view of the street, both of us seating ourselves on one side of the round table. I edged over a good bit so I could see his face, and because I abhorred the thought of being one of those couples. You know the type…they sit on the same side of the booth, drape themselves all over each other and make you want to puke. He immediately moved his chair closer to me.

I rolled my eyes. “Dude, have you no respect for my personal space? Or is it that you want easy access to my food?”

He put his hand on my upper thigh, squeezed and whispered in my ear. “That’s not all I’d like easy access to, Maude.”

I picked up a beignet and held it to his lips. “Shut up and eat, Thomas.”

He waggled his eyebrows at me and took a huge bite, groaning salaciously as he chewed and swallowed.

“They’re everything I’d hoped they’d be and so much MORE.” He downed his six in minutes, then began working on my pile until I slapped his hand away when there were only three left. I ate them slowly, one nibble at a time, savoring the taste. I’d come here with Anne many times over the years, and by myself after school when I felt like reading out of doors instead of in the library. There weren’t many fond memories for me in New Orleans, but this…this was near the top of the list.

I popped the last bite into my mouth, wiped my face with a napkin and took a sip of my beverage. We sat in silence, drinking and watching the world go by around us. It was surreal, being back here, and even more so because I wasn’t on my own. Tom dragged his chair so he was right next to me, phone in hand.

He smiled softly. “Do you mind being in this one?”

I shook my head. “Not at all. Any residual sugar on my face?”

He gave me a once over. “No. Me?”

“Nope, you’re good.”

He took three shots, and I declined to offer any input on which was better, instead pulling my phone out of my bag to see if it was nine AM yet, which seemed a safe time to begin making calls.

He shoved his screen on top of mine.

Today we’re in New Orleans, and I’ve just finished my first authentic beignet. All right, my first nine beignets. Enjoying our café au laits and the timeless atmosphere. Everywhere I look is a glimpse straight into the past. Amazing. Feeling very, very grateful for this life I’ve been given and the people I’m so blessed to have sharing it with me.

I pinched his cheek. “Me too, you adorable fucker.”

He chuckled, kissed me quickly, the returned to his phone. “I’m going to try Luke. What time is it there? Six?”

“No. Five-fifteen.”

“Shit, I guess I’d better wait then. Though Simon’s probably up doing yoga.” He saw I’d pulled up the funeral home’s info on my phone. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

I shook my head and dialed.

A gentleman with a deep, somber voice answered the phone and I almost burst out laughing at how stereotypical it was. “Estelle J. Willson, how may I help you?”

“Good morning. My name is Maude Gallagher…”

“Miss Gallager, Mr. Cooper at Passages reached out last night to let us know you’d be in touch. I’m Francis Black, the office manager. I’m very sorry for your loss. Would you like to make an appointment to come in today to meet with Cheryl Henderson, our funeral director?”

“Thank you. And yes, I would, but I’m not certain as to what Mrs. Bonaventura had in mind as far as arrangements go, so it’s probably best if I meet with her attorney first.”

“Well then, how about y’all just drop by once you’ve gotten that out of the way? I’ll let Mrs. Henderson know to expect you. Any time is fine, and since we have a visitation scheduled she’ll be here until after nine tonight.”

“That’s perfect. Thank you, Mr. Black. I’ll phone back once I have a better handle on things.”

I glanced at Tom. He was staring intently at a short, portly, older gentleman playing the violin at the other end of the Café’s patio area. I smiled and Googled the number for the Dooley Law Firm, then hit the call icon.

A woman answered, her accent so light I had to wonder if she’d left and come back, or if she hadn’t been here very long. When you’re immersed in it every day, it’s very difficult to not pick it up, even if it’s just the slightest bit on particular words. “Good morning, Dooley Law Firm, Sally Anne speaking.”

“Good morning, Sally Anne. I’m Maude Gallagher and I need to make an appointment with Bartholomew Stevens…he’s Mary Bonaventura’s attorney. She passed away on Saturday. I’m her daughter.” My eyes rolled as the words left my mouth.

“Oh, all right then. Let me check his schedule. He’s free today at ten AM. Will that work for you?”

“Absolutely. Thanks so much.”

“Sure thing, Miss Gallagher. Just check in at the desk when you get here.”

I put my phone on the table and drained the last of my iced café au lait. Tom put his arm around me.

“You okay?”

I leaned into him. So much for not being one of those couples. Perhaps I was just so jaded that I’d always judged too harshly.

“I’d like to reiterate that I’m glad you’re here.”

He kissed the top of my head. “I am as well, love.”

As I sat back up my phone rang. Lestat calling. Tom peeked at the screen, left eyebrow raised, questioning.

“It’s Anne. She’s in there under that because I think it’s hilarious to see…anyway. Shit. I don’t wanna, but I should, I guess…” I hit the answer button, but couldn’t think of what to say.

“Maude? Are you there?”

“Yeah. Hi.”

“How are you doing, honey?”

“I’m doing. You?”

“I wanted to apologize before I saw you. You were correct. It was very wrong of me to withhold the fact that your mother had divorced from you. Sometimes my faith hinders my logic.”

I snorted. “Which is why I have no faith. And Anne, I’m sorry too. I was a total see you next Tuesday to you. I know you were just being…you. Always trying to be kind and decent to everyone, looking out for their immortal souls. Even if they are complete and total douchebags who don’t deserve it.”

She laughed. “I have to say, with your mother, it was difficult. I’m hard pressed to think of any redeeming qualities she possessed, other than giving birth to you. But I know your father would have wanted me to do what I could, so I did.”

I felt myself go cold when she mentioned him and decided to redirect her. “What did you mean, before you saw me?”

“I’m in town so I can attend her services. Just got here an hour or so ago, and when I saw Tom’s tweet I assumed that meant you were here, too.”

I groaned. “I sincerely regret teaching you so much about social media.”

“Christopher regrets it as well. He said if I try to fix him up with someone I find online just one more time he’s deleting all my accounts.” I laughed. “So, I don’t suppose you’d let me take you both out for dinner this evening? Court of Two Sisters, maybe?”

I put her on speaker, then turned to Tom. “Anne has requested the pleasure of our company at dinner this evening. You game?”

He waved at my phone, and I giggled. “Hello, Anne. And yes, I’m so very, very game. Thank you kindly for thinking of us.”

Anne inhaled sharply. “Good Lord, Maude…how is it that you can listen to that voice and still manage to leave your hotel room?”

My face scrunched up as I winced at her comment, and Tom smirked evilly at me.

“You know you’re on speaker, don’t you?”

She chuckled. “Whoops. Chalk it up to my being a forgetful old woman who’s confused by technology. But really, how do…” I smashed my finger on the speaker button to change our conversation back to private.

“So, what time is dinner then?”

“Is eight o’clock all right?”

“Sounds good.”

“Excellent. I’ll reserve my table. Can’t wait to see you kid. If you need anything in the interim, call.”

“I will. Thanks.”

I hit end call and looked at Tom. He was still smirking. “Come on, you. It’s a fifteen minute drive to the attorney’s office and if we don’t leave now I’ll be late.”

He smirked all the way to the car, and I began to wonder if dinner with two people who knew so much about me was perhaps a terrible idea.

**************************************** Bartholomew Stevens was a giant of a man, two inches taller than Tom and outweighing him by at least a hundred pounds. He was dressed in a light blue and white seersucker suit with a navy blue and white polka dotted tie, his black hair streaked with silver, as was his handlebar mustache. After shaking our hands, he invited us to take a seat in the leather wing-back chairs across from his huge mahogany desk and asked if we’d like some lemonade or iced tea. I passed, Tom chose lemonade. Sally Anne brought it in moments later.

“Miss Gallagher, I’m so very sorry for your loss. Your momma was…one of a kind.” His voice was deep, not quite booming, but I could imagine the attention it would receive echoing in an open courtroom.

I resisted the urge to be snarky. “Thank you, Attorney Stevens. She was indeed…unique.” Tom almost spit out his lemonade.

“Please, call me Barty. We’re all friends here.”

“And feel free to call me Maude.”

“I do like that name, Maude. Are you aware that it means powerful battler, or warrior?”

I smiled. “I am. But my father chose it because he loved the television show. And Bea Arthur.”

Barty laughed, slapping his knee. “Oh, that’s rich, I say. Rich. I didn’t know your father personally, but I do know that he was a good, hard working fella.” He cleared his throat. “Anyhow. You’re here for the details so you can get to the funeral parlor, I’d assume, so I don’t want to take up too much of your time. First order of business. The will.”

He looked at my face to gauge my reaction. He got nothing.

“Mary died intestate. Meaning she had no will.”

My eyes narrowed. “I’m aware of what intestate means, but thank you.”

He grinned. “Most people can’t even spell it, never mind know what it means.”

I leaned forward. “That doesn’t surprise me at all. That she had no will…now that surprises me. I would have thought she’d want to be crystal clear about who got what. Or who didn’t get what, as the case may be.”

“Well, after she married that young man back in 1998 they both came in and she had me draw one up listing him as the sole beneficiary of her estate. After he left town with his high school girlie, she came in and filed a statement with me to revoke all existing wills and codicils, marked the one with him on it void and said she wasn’t interested in having a new one made. I don’t know if he was notified, and he may have a copy of it on hand. If any issues arise, just call the office and I’ll take care of it. But, bottom line, there is no will in place, so by default the estate passes to you.”

The thought of having to deal with Will regarding such a matter was both horrifying and entertaining. If he thought he was going to cash in there was no way he wouldn’t be making an appearance, and I was glad I at least had a bit of a heads up.

I took a deep breath to clear my head. “Did she know that would be the case?”

He laughed. “I never told her as much, but I’m sure she did. Now, let’s get down to brass tacks, shall we? The estate consists solely of the home on Saint Charles and its contents. Any cash she had on hand she either spent prior to entering the hospice, or donated after paying up front for her anticipated time at Passages. They may owe you a few days, but it’s probably not worth the hassle to try and get it back. She did not set any funds aside for funeral expenses, and had no life insurance policy.”

I waved my hand at him. “I figured as much. I’ll take care of everything.”

He nodded. “An upstanding thing to do, young lady. The house, I’m afraid, has a rather large home equity loan attached to it. If sold it will most likely generate a profit, but I’m not privy to the condition of said home nor on top of current market values, so take that with a grain of salt. Might be best to let the bank take it.”

“How much is the loan balance?”

“Right around three hundred thousand or so.”

Tom whistled. I shrugged and pulled out my phone to do a quick search on prior sales.

“Will you put all of the info together for me so I can contact the loan holder? I need to have it appraised first, but I’m more than likely going to pay it off and take possession.”

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Tom leaning way forward to try and catch my eye. I kept my focus on Barty.

“I most certainly will, Maude. I’ll have everything we’ve discussed typed up and printed for you.”

“Can you email a PDF instead?” I took my wallet out of my bag, pulled out one of my business cards and put it on his desk.

“Yes I can. Only a few more things to cover and then you can head on out. Your mother did write up a list for me as far as what she’d like…done. She requested Estelle J. Wilson, which I believe you already know.”

I nodded.

“She’d like their Traditional Service, visitation one night, funeral service there the next day, followed by interment in the family Garden Crypt at the Greenwood Cemetery, where your father is.”

My hands balled into fists reflexively, jaw clenching.

“She’s also requested a particular dress…here’s a picture of it…that’s in the closet at the house. I have the key to get in for you, as well as the combination to the safe and another key for what she’s left in there for you. I have no idea what that may be. But, that should do it. If you have questions or need anything, call me on my cellular phone. The number’s on the back of the picture.”

I stood, and Tom rose with me. I proffered my hand. “Thank you, Barty. This was very thorough, but nice and short. Much appreciated.”

He shook it, his large meaty hand encasing mine almost to the point of it being invisible. “You’re very welcome, Maude. I’m sure you have quite a roster of things to take care after this. Best of luck to you, and again, if you need me, just call.” He turned to Tom, hand extended, and they shook vigorously. “Nice to make your acquaintance, Thomas.”

“And yours as well, Barty. Thank you for the lemonade. It was delicious treat, perfect for a July day.”

“You’re quite welcome. Take it easy out there. It’s goddamn hot, even for New Orleans.”

I didn’t speak as we left the building, wanting to wait until we got in the car to see what Tom had to say. If anything. He just stared at me blankly.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, Hiddleston?”

He opened his mouth and closed it again several times, bearing a strong resemblance to a nutcracker, then spoke. “I’m not sure where to start. Even though I know the entire back story, I’m having trouble believing that someone could be so…so…awful that they’d make a conscious effort to ensure that their only child was not just left with nothing upon their passing but actually had to pay money out of their own pocket to bury them.”

I patted his knee. “Yeah. She was quite the fucking asshole. But the joke’s on her. She kept the loan balance high because she thought I’d never be able to pay it off, and, I’m sure, because she spent money like fucking water, but it’s glaringly apparent she neglected to re-evaluate property values in the area since, like, forever.  She demanded that they take out the loan back before I graduated from high school so they’d have some ‘savings’ since she’d blown through her entire inheritance buying, remodeling and redecorating the house. The reason they were able to borrow so much was because they paid cash for it and had nothing but equity. Things have…changed. Even if it’s in terrible condition, it’s worth at least six hundred thousand. If it doesn’t need any major repairs, up that to eight hundred thousand. Or more. Either way, that’s a tidy profit margin when I sell it.”

He shook his head. “How are you planning on…”

I interrupted him. “Remember that Exxon stock that my dad left me? It was two thousand shares. I sold it all, spent a quarter of it getting myself set up in New York, sat on the remaining hundred thousand for a few years, and when I was given the opportunity to participate  in Google’s IPO I gambled most of it. I bought eleven hundred shares at eight-five dollars per, then sold it in May of 2013 when the stock hit nine hundred dollars a share.”

I could see him trying to do the math. He looked at me, smiling sheepishly. “Not happening, I’m afraid. I’ve never been good at doing math in my head. How much is that?”

“Nine hundred and ninety-thousand dollars.”

“Are you fucking joking? I was way off…and that’s…wow.”

“I was just in the right place at the right time. My dad gets all the props for leaving me something to work with, and for not letting my mother bully him into cashing it in so she could spend it. I’m hoping it will allow me to retire before I hit fifty. It’s all nestled safely away, earning interest. There’s no way I’ll be able to resist adding more to the pot by investing some of it for a little while.”

He tapped his chin with his index finger. “Hmm…I don’t suppose you’d be interested in being my financial manager, would you?”

“Depends. Would my compensation be in the form of sexual favors?”

“It would be my sincerest pleasure to pay you however you’d prefer. And that sounds like a lot more fun than writing a check.”

“I’ll take the matter under advisement.” I pulled out my phone and called the funeral home to let them know we were on our way, then headed down Canal Street to Route 10. A left onto MLK Boulevard was next, then a right onto Lasalle, a left onto Washington and a sharp left onto Danneel. Four miles total, thirteen minutes. Traffic moves slowly in New Orleans. Not New York City slow, but still slow.

A gentleman was seated at the front desk, and as soon as he said hello I knew it had to be Mr. Black. Somber voice. Mr. Black. Working at a funeral home. I had to bite my lip to keep myself from laughing like a lunatic at my own joke.

He escorted us to an office, and Mrs. Henderson greeted us at the door. We sat on the couch, she sat in one of the chairs across from us. She was dressed in a grey suit jacket and matching A-line skirt, her blouse white with a high ruffled collar. Mid-fifties, blonde hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun, cats eye glasses with black frames resting low on her nose.

“Miss Gallagher, I am truly sorry for your loss. Rest assured we’ll take care of every little thing so you don’t have to, all right?”

“Thank you, Mrs. Henderson. According to Attorney Stevens, my mother wanted your Traditional Service, visitation one night, funeral the next. Interment in the family crypt in Greenwood Cemetery. He provided me with a key to her home so I can procure the dress she wanted to be buried in…I’ll deliver that here to you at some point today. If it’s at all possible, I’d like to schedule things for Wednesday and Thursday of this week. Tomorrow would be better, but I understand that’s probably not an option.”

She nodded. “Not enough time to get things ready for tomorrow. But Wednesday and Thursday…” She reached behind her and grabbed an iPad off the desk, pausing as she scrolled through her appointment book. “We can do receiving hours from four until six, and schedule the service at one with the interment at two. Will that work for you?”

“Definitely, thank you.”

“We’ll get it online today and in tomorrow’s newspapers. Did you want the service and interment public or private?”

“Service public, interment private, please.”

She reached out and put her hand over mine briefly. “I always hate asking this, but it’s necessary. Open or closed casket?”

Instantaneously, my mind was flooded with images from when my father died, my mother sitting next to me at another funeral home in town answering that same question. Her reply had been ‘Oh my good god, closed, of course. It’s bad enough that everyone knows he blew his brains out. I don’t want them to see it too.’ The funeral director explained that they’d be able to cover it all up, but she insisted someone would notice, so closed it was. I placed a photograph of him on top of the casket, but when I looked back a few minutes later it had disappeared. I found it later in the restroom garbage can. I was never sure who’d done it…my mother, or Will. Tom’s hand rubbing my leg drew me back into the present, and I turned my head to meet his gaze. My hands were shaking, and I’d broken out in a cold sweat.

He leaned in, eyes full of concern, speaking in a voice just north of a whisper. “It’s okay, Maude. You’re okay. I’m right here. Whatever you need.”

I took a deep breath, then swallowed hard as I grabbed his hand and held on like I never intended to let go. “Thank you.” He squeezed twice, then brought our joined hands to his lips and kissed mine.

I turned back to Mrs. Henderson. “Sorry about that.”

She shook her head. “No need to apologize, dear. This is a very difficult time for you.” She glanced at Tom. “I’m glad to see you have someone so supportive to help you through it.”

I managed a weak smile as I felt my strength begin to return. “So…what’s your opinion, if you don’t mind my asking? Would open be inappropriate based on her condition?”

“Our cosmetologist is very talented, and I’m certain she can erase all traces of the jaundice and…well, I doubt you want the details but no, I don’t think an open casket would be inappropriate at all. If you happen to have a picture of your mother for her to work off of that would be very helpful.”

“Thank you. Let’s go with open, then. I’m sure I can find a picture somewhere in her home, and I’ll bring it back with the dress. Is there anything else you’ll need?”

“That should be all as far as that goes. You’ll need to choose a casket next, and I’ll let you flip through some catalogs while I get the paperwork and contract together.” She rose, removed some binders from a shelf behind her desk and set them on the end table next to me. I bit my lip.

“Mrs. Henderson, I’m really completely out of my depth here. Would you mind suggesting something or pointing me in the right direction?”

She smiled. “Sure thing. Did your mother prefer silver or gold?”

I grimaced. “Gold. All of our plumbing fixtures were gold. All of them.”

She laughed. “And you must be a silver, then.”

“Absolutely.”

“Any corresponding color preference?”

“White. Or pink.”

She pulled the bottom binder from the stack, flipping through the pages rapidly. “How’s this one?”

It was a monstrosity, a glossy white finish with gold inlay, accents and handles. “It’s perfect. She would have loved it…looks just like her bathtub.”

Either my snark didn’t register, or she pretended not to notice. “It’s one we stock here as well. I could find something pink but it would take a few days to get it in. There are some less expensive models if you…”

I held up my hand. “Thanks, but this one’s fine.”

“Wonderful. I’ll get your contract and invoice ready. Won’t take but a few minutes.”

She sat at her desk and began typing on her laptop. I ran my thumb along Tom’s wrist.

“Miss Gallagher? Did you want floral arrangements?”

“Um, sure. Whatever most people do is fine.”

“How do pink roses sound?”

“Just right. Thank you.”

Her printer noisily spat out a pile of papers, and she waved me over to the chair next to her desk. I wrote quickly, my signature and words a messy blur. Embalming authorization, contract, crypt information. Once that was completed, she handed me the invoice. Twenty thousand four-hundred fifty-two dollars and seventy-six cents.

“We do offer payment plans, and if the attorney provides us with the necessary estate information only a ten percent deposit is required. You can bring that with you later as well, if you’d like. The payment plan amount due today would be five thousand dollars, the remainder paid in three additional installments over the next three months.”

“Do you accept credit cards?”

“Visa, Mastercard or American Express.” I gave her my Visa. “Thank you. I just have to run out to the main office and have Mr. Black charge the first installment…”

I interrupted her. “No, charge the full balance, please. Thanks.” Her eyes widened as she got up from her chair and left the room. I got up and went back and sat on the couch. Tom embraced me, and I rested my head on his chest. Neither of us spoke, and when we heard footsteps outside the door we disentangled ourselves.

Mrs. Henderson handed me a credit card slip to sign. I did, and she stapled it to the extra copies of the paperwork she’d printed, tucked it all in folder and passed it to me.

“Miss Gallagher, again, I’m very sorry for you loss. Thank you for choosing us to assist you. Someone will be here tonight until at least nine, and our cosmetologist is used to working odd hours, but the sooner you can have the dress and photo here the better.”

I got up and shook her hand. “No, thank you. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your making this so simple. I’ll do my best to be back here in an hour or so.”

Tom said goodbye to her as well, and as we walked out of her office he took my hand and didn’t let go until we reached the car. I looked up at him.

“Sorry about what happened in there.” I relayed what I’d been thinking about, and he embraced me again, holding me tightly in the damp heat of mid-day. He opened the passenger door after convincing me that he should drive. I got in and immediately put my head between my knees. He rubbed my back until I inhaled deeply and sat up, then exhaled.

I put my hand on his thigh and leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you too, my Maude.”

I pulled the keys Barty had given me out of my bag, then looked at Tom, smiling sadly. “I guess it’s finally time to go back…home.”

[reject-princess97]

Jack Barakat - All Time Low Part 2

Part 1

*Five Years Later*

It's been five years since my almost wedding to Harry Olson, since Jack Barakat crashed my wedding and allowed me to live the best possible life I could. My life since then had consisted of touring with Jack and the boys until we came home and just lived our lives, happily with amazing friendships, family and unexpected turns. For example, Jack Barakat and I got married. It was a quick affair, Jack had asked me in New York and a few weeks later we were in a chapel, in Vegas, saying I Do surrounded by Lisa and the boys and a couple of the members of Pierce the Veil who at the time were touring with the ATL.

Also...I'm now a mum, to the most amazing little four year old boy, Jackson Alexander Barakat, or Jax for short, with another one on the way, a little girl. Jack and Alex had encouraged the boys they all needed some time off from Touring and for the past two years the boys had all lived their own lives, getting married, having kids you know, what people do when they grow up.

Jack hasn't grown up much, but I don't care, he is the most amazing guy. He is so funny and a wonderful dad to Jax and he take care of us. Like right now, He is helping Jax get his shoes on so we could all go to the park and meet up with Alex and Lisa, who by the way are expecting the first child, around the same time as me in fact.

"And then you pull, like this and boom, the laces are tied, now, are we ready?" Jack asked Jax as he stood up and picked up his jacket.

"Yes, can we go find Uncle Lex now?"

"Sure we can buddy, come on, let's go to the car." I interrupted looking down at my son. I smiled at Jack and we both walked off to the car, locking our front do behind us and getting in the car. We strapped ourselves and Jax in and Jack drove off, the park was only ten minute drive away so we just drove quietly before we pulled up and parked.

We all jumped out of the car and grabbed the bag of food I had packed for lunch before walking off to our usual spot by the play ground, where we were meeting Lisa and Alex.

As we walked up a little hill, Alex's Blue hair came into view and Jackson ran off, calling for  his 'Uncle Lex' a nickname Alex had picked up from Jax since he was able to speak.

"Jackie Boy, how's life" Alex asked him as he lifted him up and hugged him tight.

"Good, guess what?" he smiled looking into his uncles eyes "My baby sister kicked me yesterday." He smiled proudly. I laughed at him as he wiggled to get down and ran over to hug Lisa. I walked over and hugged Alex as he smiled at me.

"Mrs Barakat." He chuckled as he pulled away, "How's my god daughter?" He asked as he gave Jack a bro hug and smiled at us both.

"Energetic." I laughed as I felt my baby move inside me, again. "And what about my God Son?" I asked as I sat down next to Lisa and hugged her.

"Healthy and full of life." She smiled placing her hand over her stomach. I got to talking with Lisa as Jack, Jax and Alex all sat down and began digging through the food.

After some dinner, Jax decided to drag Alex and Jack off to the Play ground and Lisa had to nip home for something so I sat on our little picnic blanket reading until I had to pee. I called over to Jack told him and I walked to the public toilets that we only a 20 feet away. I peed and washed my hands and walked out, walking back to my spot at the blanket but I heard somebody call my name and I turned to face two people I never thought I'd see again.

"Mum? Dad?" I asked shocked, pulling my jacket across my belly, as if to hide it, not completely believing what I was seeing I just stood starring.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"What's it to you?" My father snapped I shrugged and turned around to walk away.

"Y/N, wait." My mum sighed. I turned back looked at the two people in front of me, the people who had missed the last five years of my life, the most important years of my life, because I didn't marry the man they chose for me.

"How have you been, good I hope?" I smiled at them, deciding on being civil for the sake of my own.

"We've been good, your sister misses you, she's married now." My mum smiled. I nodded and smiled at the memories of my sister. She was never like my parents, she didn't ignore me most of my life and she didn't agree with what my parents did, although she would never tell them that.

"Well, tell her I said congrats." I smiled. I stood there starring at my parents until my dad finally spoke up.

"So, how is Jack? Left you for another woman yet? Him being on the road so much must have really took it's toll on your relationship." My dad smirked. I was about to snap back at him but then I heard a tiny voice call for me and I looked at see Jax was running towards me.

"Mummy, mummy, can we call my baby sister Jayden?" He yelled as he collided with my leg, smiling wide at me. I laughed as I bent down and lifted him into my arms, forget about my parents for the moment.

"I think that's an awesome name, what made you think of that?" I asked him, looking at the size of the grin of his face.

"That little girl over there, she was crying because a boy said her name was a boys name, I asked her what it was and she said Jayden." He explained,

"I see."

"Mummy, it's the best name ever" He whispered grabbing the side of my face and pulling his face to mine. I laughed and kissed his nose and put him down, "The best and most perfect name for your little sister." I smiled, Jax jumped and ran of calling for Jack who looked over at him and stood up walking towards him.

"You have a child?" My dad asked watching Jax. I turned and nodded.

"And a daughter on the way." I smiled. My dad looked at me appalled and turned his nose up at me.

"Well, at least I know what type of person you are now, two kids, out of wedlock, how..." He began but I looked up at him and laughed.

"Oh like you care who I became or who I even was before I left. I'm the exact person who I was five years ago when I left and if you must know, I am married, have been for four and half years now."I told him before I turned away. I took a couple of steps before I turned around.

"You know what Dad? Leaving with Jack that day was the best thing I ever did. These past five years have been amazing, I travelled the world,I got married, I have the most amazing friends and the greatest little boy in the world and about to have a baby girl to complete my little family, I am the happiest I could ever be. I don't regret leaving my old life behind, not even leaving you behind." I told him. I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist and I looked up to see Jack standing behind me, watching my parents.

"Hey wifey, I heard you shouting, I wanted to make sure you were OK." he smiled down at me, I nodded and looked back at my dad.

"Never been better." I smiled before I turned away from my parents and walked off, Jack holding my hand. We reached the Picnic blanket and we sat down, both of us laughing at Alex who chased our son around.

"Were those..?"

"My parents? Yeah"

"What are they doing here?" He asked and I shrugged.

"Didn't say"

"OK." He shrugged, not pressing the issue and pulling me into his arms where I sat, relaxing until Lisa returned and sat by us.

"So, Jayden huh?" Jack asked out of nowhere, I sat up and looked up and him shrugging,

"Jax picked it, I think is sound lovely, Jayden Barakat." I smiled up at him. He nodded and kissed the top of my head.

"You need a middle name, maybe beginning with 'J' so we can nickname her JJ." Lisa laughed taking a sip of her drink.

"She's right." Jack agreed

"OK, well, What about James?" I asked.

"James? for a girl?" He asked. I nodded and shrugged.

"Jayden James Barakat, I think it sound like a lovely little girls name." I told him.

"I was kinda thinking Jennifer or Jean, After you grandma." Jack informed me and I smiled and his suggestion of Jean.

"Jayden Jean, I love it." I told him grinning up at him. He lend down and kissed me slowly.

"You two are so adorable." Lisa laughed as we pulled away making us laugh.

For the next few hour we sat relaxing while Jax ran around playing with any kid he could find that were his age. We just relaxed until I spotted a figure walk to wards us, I sat up, noticing it was my mum.

She reached us and I looked up at her as she motioned to the spot on my blanket. I nodded and watched as she sat down at my feet and we just watched each other until she broke our silence.

"I'm sorry Y/N," She said out of nowhere, "I never agreed with what your father did, but I never stopped it either. You do deserve to be happy, with whom ever you chose. I'm glad you chose someone so, sweet." My mum smiled gesturing to Jack who by now had left us to go play with Jax.  "Is he everything you ever wanted?" She asked turning back to me.

"Everything and more, he was so supportive when I first left you and dad." I told her. "You know if you got to know him, you'd have really liked him." I added, watching her. She looked over to Jack who was 'being shot at' by Jax. He fell to the floor and played dead until Jax walked over and poked him in the arm with his stick, only Jack sat up and pull Jax into his arms, tickling him. My mum smiled at my boys and turned to me.

"Well, if it's not too late, I'd really like to get to know him, and the new you." She smiled sadly.

"What about dad? He's not gonna like it if you..."

"Your father is fool, always has been. Things with your father haven't been the same since he let you go and I stayed with him but now...do you want to know why I'm in town?" She asked. I nodded and listened while she explained.

"I heard you lived around here, I came out here to see you, leaving your father at home, but he found out and followed me. He had been telling me all the reasons why I was a fool for coming here and that you wouldn't want me around, when I spotted to." I don't want to be hated by you anymore Y/N. You're my daughter and you and your sister are the most important part of my life." She explained. I sat there quiet for a while before looking at her.

"If you want to be apart of my life again, you can't leave me alone because I have done something you don't agree with, Jack and Jax are my family, first and foremost. They will always come first." I told her, she nodded and smiled.

"Of course, Y/N I will not disappoint you ever again, I promise." She smiled pulling me into a hug. I felt her shaking and I pulled away to see she was crying.

"Mum, are you crying?" I chuckled as she wiped tears from her eyes and laughed.

"I'm just happy, I had begun thinking your father was right and you would hate me forever." She told me grabbing my hands tightly.

"What are you going to do about dad though, if you want to be here for us, he's not going to like it." I reminded her.

"Well, he will have to deal with it, I've made my chose and if it comes to it, I'll chose you over him any day." She told me.

I nodded and shrugged and offered her a drink, which she took happily.

The rest of the afternoon was spent talking and catching up with my mum, her telling me about everything I'd missed since my all most wedding.

Starting with how Harry was now married to my Ex-best-friend. My sister is married and my grandpa pass but I never really met him.

Jack and I soon left home, saying good bye to Alex, Lisa and my mum before picking Jax up and taking him home, knowing it was almost time for tea. After feeding Jax and watching a movie we put Jax to bed and had some time to ourselves just talking about anything and everything.

"So, are you glad...that your mums back I mean?" he asked as I sat down and rest against him.

"I guess, I mean, I'm not gonna get used to her being around, if she leaves again I won't be hurt this time." I told him, lying my head on his chest, his hand found it's way to my tummy and he rubbed circles softly.

"What if she means what she says?" He wondered and I shrugged.

"Then Jackson and Jayden will have have their grandma around." I told him.

I relaxed into his arms and slowly fell asleep to the sound of our TV playing Die Hard.

[likexporcelain]

A Crack in Everything (Chapter 7/8) - Jonerys

Summary: Six years after their high school romance ended in emotional ruin, Daenerys Targaryen runs into Jon Snow by chance on Valentine's Day, forcing old memories to resurface. This sudden reunion could be cathartic, but it could also deepen the cracks already in their hearts. The question Daenerys grapples with is, will this all be worth it in the end?

Rating: Explicit

First 7 chapters up on Ao3 -- find more tags/warnings/notes there

The paper where my fingers pinched the check became damp with sweat despite the chilly room temperature. A tear had slipped from my cheek to land on the memo line where Robb had scribbled “Take care of yourself cuz.” I couldn't even allow myself a chuckle at the irony. I lowered the checks back into the kitchen drawer and pushed it shut. When my water glass was empty, I set it by the sink and padded across the hall to the bathroom, larger than mine but more old fashioned with tile instead of linoleum floors, a porcelain pedestal sink instead of a cheap plywood vanity, and a rusted claw-foot tub surrounded by a blue shower curtain instead of a skinny shower stall with a glass door. A little window above the toilet gave the room some morning light. I peed, then washed my hands and looked for mouth wash or maybe even an unopened toothbrush.

In the medicine cabinet, the first thing I saw were pill bottles. Lots of them. I couldn't help myself. I turned the bottles one by one so I could see each label. Heavy duty pain killers, not yet finished, but the bottles hadn't been refilled in months. An empty bottle of antibiotics. Klonopin, unfinished, recently refilled.

“Hey.”

With a start, I flipped around. Jon stood in the doorway in only his boxers, rubbing an eye with the back of his hand.

“Hi,” I replied softly. “Sorry. I was snooping a little.”

“It's okay.” He stepped into the bathroom and put his arms around me. I returned the embrace with my cheek against his shoulder, breathing in his stale morning scent like it was a newly bloomed rose.

“We take the same anxiety meds.”

He chuckled against my hair. “It's almost like we're related or something.”

Leaning back, I gave him a pointed look, though my mouth was smiling. “So we're making jokes about it now? I suppose that's progress.”

“Sorry.”

“Don't be.” I pulled Jon close again, hands splayed across his back. “We should be able to talk about it with each other. I don't like it, but I don't want to pretend with you either. We can't change who we are.”

My face turned warm as I stood against him, feeling my eyes begin to water again. His hand smoothed down my hair behind my head in slow strokes.

“What are you thinking about?”

“My family.” I sniffled, but that couldn't keep the first tear from falling. “My mom. My dad. Rhaegar. Do you think he really loved your mother?”

A stretch of silence was Jon's response and I wanted to take back the question. I leaned back against the sink and brought my arms around myself instead, but Jon's hand never left my hair, sliding down to twist the ends around his fingers.

“I don't know,” he eventually said. “I don't think my mom would have loved someone who didn't deserve it, though.”

“I hope you're right. I know he did bad things, but I don't want to believe he was a bad person. He must have been a little bit good, right?”

Jon nodded, but seemed unsure. I suppose we'd never be sure.

To break the solemn mood I'd started the day off with, I offered a small smile and said “I found your money drawer.”

His cheeks pinked as his head shook. “Robb. . . worries about me. And you know, in the Stark family, when you worry about someone, you send them money. He doesn't like me living on my own.”

“Has it been hard?”

“No. It's been nice being alone actually. Too nice. I think I want to be done with that now.”

Stepping forward, I brought my mouth to his, but before our lips could touch, I leaned back. “Do you have an extra toothbrush?”

He left the bathroom and managed to bring me back a brand new one, still in the package, from the closet of the tiny bedroom. We brushed our teeth side by side, and as mundane as the act was, it felt oddly intimate. A glimpse into what life would be like if I finally got to live with Jon Snow. Then we showered together – just showering, aside from the occasional open-mouthed kiss under the spray of water. I turned my back to Jon and he washed my hair. I wondered how long it would take to grow to the length it was in high school. Jon wouldn't say it, but I knew he preferred it long, and so did I.

After toweling off and throwing on a t-shirt and track pants, Jon told me he was going downstairs to smoke. I nodded and kissed him before he went, then began to dress myself, putting on my same khaki pants from yesterday but stealing one of Jon's black hoodies instead of wearing my Martell's yellow polo shirt. I had work again at noon, but I made the executive decision to call in sick. I wasn't sure if Daario believed me or not on the phone, but I didn't really care. Normally, fake-calling in sick would have given me a panic attack, but this time I was as calm as could be, because I knew that once I hung up, I would get to spend the rest of the day, and night, with Jon.

After sliding my phone into my pocket and slipping on my sneakers, I decided to get some air myself and left the apartment, heading down the stairs and through the secondary front door that lead out to the stoop in front of the building. Jon was sitting at the top of the steps, flicking ashes into a Folgers can. When I shut the door behind me, he turned and offered me a smile.

“You're so beautiful,” he told me as I sat down beside him. My arm went around his and I rested my cheek on the curve of his shoulder.

“Hush.”

After Jon put out his cigarette, we remained on the stoop, sitting together in comfortable silence. A man in pajamas was walking his dog across the street. A couple of joggers were on their way toward the nearest path to the beach. Light Sunday morning traffic interrupted the songs of birds perched in trees along the sidewalk. A few minutes went by before Jon said “I've been thinking about something.”

“That's a good sign,” I gently teased.

“I've been thinking that we should get married. If we get married, I can transfer my G. I. Bill to you and you can go back to school for free.”

And that was how Jon Snow proposed to me. Sitting on the steps outside his apartment, eyes watching the world in front of us with his hand holding mine. I lifted my head and blinked at him, wondering if he had taken some of those pain pills without me noticing, but he looked calm and when he turned to me, his eyes were clear and unwavering.

“Jon. . .” My heart did a flip in my chest. “I don't need you to pay for me to go to school. That's not what I want. I don't want anything from you except you.”

“If we're going to be together, you're going to get things from me, Daenerys. That's just how it works.”

“I don't have anything to give you.”

“That's a joke, right?” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to my temple. “When you're making bank as a world famous whatever it is you want to be, I'll finally get to fulfill my lifelong dream of being the world's sexiest domesticated househusband.”

I snorted a laugh, grinning ear to ear.

“Besides,” Jon continued, voice turning serious again, “I wouldn't be paying for it. The Army would be paying for it. I almost died for those assholes. I had to watch friends die for them, and watch them die all over again almost every fucking night while I sleep. The least they can do is pay for you to go to school. You were always supposed to go to school.”

I slid my hand out of his so that I could put my arm around his back. “That money is supposed to be for you, Jon. You deserve it more than I do.”

“That's not true. And either way, I'm not going to college. I don't want to go to college. I never did.” A corner of his mouth lifted as he said “I'm an Assistant Team Leader at Whole Foods. Full-time. Twenty whole dollars an hour. I've got a 401k account and health insurance. Not to brag or anything, but I'm doing alright for myself, even without a degree. . . If you don't want to marry me, though, I would understand.”

“I've wanted to marry you since high school,” I said softly. “We can't, though. We never can. It. . . It isn't legal.”

“Who would know?”

“Your uncle. Robb. Whoever else they told. Sam, if you told him.”

“They would never tell anyone. And I never told Sam. I never told anyone. Not even those psychiatrists I had to see while I was in the hospital.”

“What about the DNA test?” I asked, my voice barely audible.

* * * * *

I hadn't even known about a DNA test until days after that evening at the Stark residence. It was a Saturday and I had spent the whole morning pacing around my apartment, trying to find anything I could sell that would earn me some decent money. Unfortunately, the only thing I owned of real value was my laptop, which I needed to complete my final class projects and also as a method of finding quick jobs. I had posted ads for everything from babysitting to dog walking to house cleaning. Anything that would give me an immediate paycheck.

There was a knock on my door and it startled me because no one ever knocked on my door unless I was expecting a maintenance guy. Of course, I usually scheduled those visits for when I wouldn't be home, leaving a key under the 'Welcome' mat, preferring the possibility of being robbed to the possibility of something worse happening while alone in my apartment with a stranger. When I opened the door, however, it wasn't a middle aged man standing in the hallway. It was Jon.

This was the first time I'd seen him since we sat at Ned Stark's table. He hadn't been at school and I knew it was because he didn't want to see me. Despite my nerves, I had asked Sam if he'd heard from Jon, worrying beyond worry that Jon had told his friend what had happened.

“Some sort of family crisis,” Sam had replied, and his expression suggested that he wasn't lying for my benefit. “He didn't really elaborate, but I don't think he's coming back. I'm surprised he didn't tell you.”

“I think that we broke up,” I replied before quickly leaving the conversation to find a private place to cry.

Family emergency indeed. It was emergent that he stay away from me, his family member, less he be reminded of all the things we had done together – all those things once viewed as signs of affection between young lovers, now warped into something sinister and taboo. Our relationship was now a character flaw. I was the perverted aunt, and he the molested nephew. Did it not matter that we were ignorant? Were we not redeemable? Was I a monster for loving him still, for wanting to be with him regardless? Was my attraction to him romantically and physically supposed to vanquish just like that? Apparently, his had.

But then he came to my door that Saturday and he looked sad and nervous and like he hadn't slept in days, and the optimistic part of me wondered if he had come to apologize and take me in his arms, to tell me it was okay and that we would figure this out together.

The first words out of his mouth after I let him inside, though, were “Apparently my uncle had a DNA test done just after I was born.”

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say in response to that, so I replied with a change of subject. “You haven't been at school.”

“No, I'm taking all of my finals independently. My uncle set it up. I've decided to actually try, though, so I'm pretty sure I'll be able to graduate at least. Which is good, because you have to have a high school diploma to enlist in the Army.”

“What?”

“I'm going to join the Army. As soon as I have my diploma.”

I had been so shocked I barely understood the words the first time he spoke them, but after the second time, it felt like the room was spinning. This was the opposite of what I had planned for us. We were supposed to stay together. Me at Caltech, him working or starting at a city college, us spending every weekend together until we could afford to get a nice apartment of our own. I knew that Jon was horrified by what we'd learned the other day, but I hadn't thought he was so disgusted by me that he needed to join an organization that would take him to another side of the planet for however many years.

“Don't,” was all my voice could get out.

“I have to.”

“No, you don't.”

“I do, Daenerys. I can't be here anymore. I need to be somewhere else, away from everyone.”

“Away from me.”

I wanted him to say no, even if it was a lie, but Jon had never lied to me. “Yes,” he confirmed.

Quickly, I turned around, hand covering my mouth as tears began to fall. That was when I realized that this would be the last time I'd ever see Jon. I had fallen in love, and now it was ending. I thought back to that popular saying about how experiencing a true love was worth all the pain. In that moment, I disagreed. I wished I had never met Jon. Because now I was ruined, doomed to love a man who couldn't even stand to live on the same continent as me.

Facing the wall, I said “You don't have to go. You hate me now, and that's okay. I won't call you or text you, and if I ever see you I'll turn and walk the other way. You don't have to go.”

“I'm not leaving because I hate you. I'm leaving because I love you.”

Maybe the words should have eased my suffering, but they didn't. They made me confused and angry on top of all the sad. I turned to face him and met his eyes. They were red like mine, but he was doing a better job of keeping in his tears.

“If you love me, then stay. Stay with me.”

“Stay?” he asked. “Didn't you hear me? There's a DNA test. We're related. You're my aunt, Daenerys. My fucking aunt.”

“It doesn't matter!”

“How can it not fucking matter?!”

It was the first and only time I'd ever heard him yell, and it was to yell at me. I felt my body wilting, dying. Jon turned away from me this time, wiping at his face where his emotions had finally won over.

“Why did you even come here?” I asked, voice turning dull and quiet. “To hurt me?”

It took him a few moments to turn back to me. When he did, his hand slid from his pocket and out with it, came an envelope. I knew what it was the second the white paper came into view, but I decided to give Jon the benefit of the doubt, one last time. Maybe it wasn't what I knew it was. So, I let him hand it to me. But when I lifted the flap and pulled out the slip of paper inside, it may as well have been a Polaroid of him fucking another girl, because I felt just as betrayed, staring at a replica of the check I had refused to take from Robb. Just imagining the conversation that must have taken place after I left that evening made me sick to my stomach. Jon, Robb and Ned all sitting around the table discussing the sad case of Daenerys Targaryen – the pathetic little girl accidentally fucked her nephew if you can believe that, and now she's going to be homeless if we don't throw her a few bucks.

A tear slid from the apple of my cheek to stain a wet circle over the “five” in five-thousand just before I tore it up into little pieces. I heard Jon groan, no doubt thinking of how he would have to ask Ned for a fresh check.

“Daenerys, please,” he tried, exasperated, but I was done listening to him.

“Get the fuck out of here,” I told him, the little paper pieces falling from my hands to the carpet like confetti.

“Daenerys.” He took a step closer to me.

“I said, get the fuck out!” I demanded, shoving him away from me. “I don't want your fucking money! Get out of my apartment and don't come back! You're a fucking piece of shit like everyone else! All I wanted was you and you give me money! You said you needed me! You're a fucking liar!”

“I didn't lie. I do need you,” he said quickly, as I shoved him closer to the door. “That's why I have to go. I need to figure out how to stop needing you, Daenerys. I love you.”

“Well, I hate you!” I turned to my bed to where my Harvard sweatshirt was laid out, picked it up and shoved it against Jon's chest while I pushed him the rest of the way to the door. “You can have this back, too. You don't want me. Harvard doesn't want me. You can both fucking rot.”

I pulled the door open, and pushed Jon out of it.

“Daenerys --” he tried once more.

I interrupted him, shouting “Eat shit and die!” before slamming the door in his face. I fell to my knees, sobbing into my hands as quietly as I could, which wasn't quiet at all. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” I whispered while I cried, but I wasn't saying it to Jon anymore. I was saying it to myself.

* * * * *

“There would be, like, a paper trail, or whatever, right?” I asked. “If there was a DNA test then that means that some lab somewhere has a record of analyzing our DNA.”

Jon shook his head. “Ned had it done discreetly. No names. Just samples. Mine and your brother's.”

While I was curious to know how Ned Stark had attained Rhaegar's DNA, it wasn't important enough to me to ask. Instead, I said “Ned would never let you marry me. He would tell someone if it meant keeping you away from me.”

“I'll talk to him.”

I laughed, genuine. “Remember what happened the last time you told me you'd talk to Ned?”

Smiling a bit bashfully, Jon nodded.

“We don't have to get married. We can still be together forever without getting married. I promise I'll go back to school. A state school and I'll apply for scholarships and aid.”

“My mom never got to marry the person she loved,” Jon then said. “I don't want us to be like them. I want us to be better. We deserve better. We never hurt anyone. My uncle will see that. I know he will.”

I wasn't sure why, after everything, but I believed him.

But then, like a divine intervention sent to destroy me once again, a black Lincoln pulled up in front of the building, causing Jon to mutter “This isn't good.”

When a man with a face I recognized, though older now, emerged from the driver's side door, I felt like I did sitting at that dining room table six years ago, like everything was about to come to an end. Jon stood and so did I, reflexively separating myself from my boyfriend – fiancee? – and shoving my hands into my hoodie pockets. Robb stopped at the bottom of the steps and looked up at his cousin, then at me. Even with surprise evident in his eyes and mouth as he took in the sight of me and Jon together again, Robb looked even more sophisticated and proper than the last time I saw him. I figured he'd be done with school by now and already started a fancy career, maybe following in his father's and grandfather's footsteps by becoming an attorney.

“Dany,” he said. “You cut your hair.”

Resisting the urge to bite a nail, I replied “Yes, but I'm growing it out again.”

He simply nodded, then turned his attention to Jon. “You haven't been answering my calls lately.”

“Yeah, I've been working a lot.”

“That's good. You're still not cashing the checks either.”

“I told you I wasn't going to.”

I had to try not to smile. It wasn't that I resented Robb – I never blamed him for anything – but it was nice to see Jon stand up for himself the way I had to.

Apprehensively, Robb climbed the steps, asking “Can we talk?”

Jon looked to me.

“I'll wait here. It's fine,” I told him. No matter what Robb had to say to Jon, I wasn't going to stand in the way of it happening. Like Jon said, we never hurt anyone. I would never try to turn Jon against his family the way Rhaegar seemed to do to Lyanna.

“We won't be long,” Robb assured without making eye contact.

Before Jon lead Robb up to his apartment, he put his hand on my hip and kiss me. Gentle, but lingering, loving, a kiss that could only be interpreted as romantic in nature. I wasn't sure if it was a show for Robb or an act of reassurance for me, but I was content either way, because either way, the kiss said that I was special to Jon and that nothing Robb would say to him upstairs would change anything between us. Still, though, I would be lying if I said I wasn't terrified the entire length of time I spent sitting on that stoop, watching the sun inch higher into the sky, checking Facebook on my phone for the first time in a year, wondering if any of my 43 “friends” would notice if I changed my status to 'In a Relationship.'

Fifteen minutes later, the outer front door to Jon's apartment opened once more. In my unease, I stood again, wrapping my arms around myself like the air was colder than it was.

“It was good seeing you again, Dany.” Robb managed a glance at me before descending the steps. Before he reached his car, though, I found my feet following him quickly.

“Robb,” I said after him.

Somewhat startled, he turned to face me. I noticed how much he looked like Ned now, but that didn't intimidate me.

“I'll make him answer your calls,” I said. “But, you don't have to worry so much. I'll take care of him for you.”

He smiled, even chuckled a bit, the awkward tension receding. “Alright. Well, good. He's my only cousin, you know. I thought you were going to ask me what I said to him.”

“I think I have an idea. I'm more interested to know what Jon said in response.”  

“It was pretty much the same thing he told me last month. Something along the lines of – Whether I'm with her or not, she's the love of my life, and nothing will ever change that.”

My cheeks flushed pink and my nose scrunched as I smiled bashfully down at my feet. After a moment, I picked my head back up and asked “Last month?”

“Yeah, he called me at almost midnight on Valentine's Day, completely interrupting my wife and I during – you know – saying that he talked to you again. He wanted my advice, and I gave it, but obviously he went and did the opposite.”

The information made my smile widen. “I know you don't approve, but --”

“It's not that I don't approve,” he interrupted calmly. “I like you. I've never not liked you, even in high school when everyone seemed to not like you. Even being a Stark knowing you were a Targaryen. But. . . You know. . .  You and Jon together, knowing what I know. . . It feels weird.”

“I know. But you should know that however weird it feels for you, it feels a thousand times more weird for us. So imagine how much we must love each other to be able to deal with it in order to be together. And then imagine how you might feel if you suddenly found out your wife was your aunt.”

Robb broke out in awkward laughter, bringing his hand to the back of his neck. “Yeah, I do not want to imagine that.”

“Congratulations, by the way.”

“Thanks. We actually have a baby now, too. Named after my father, but we all call him Eddie.”

“That's amazing,” I said wistfully, trying not to think about my own baby. “I wanted to ask you a favor actually. You probably tell your wife everything, as you should, but could you just not tell her that Jon and I are. . . you know? Could you not tell anyone?”

After a moment, Robb asked “Will you make Jon cash those checks?”

“You know I'm not going to do that.”

“Yeah, I know. I would never tell anyone anyway. It was never really any of my business. And even if I would, I suppose I owe you a favor.”

He didn't, but I nodded anyway.

After he had climbed back into his sleek sedan, I rejoined Jon at the top of the porch where he'd been waiting for me, partaking in another cigarette.

“Will you marry me if I quit smoking?” he asked once the smoke had left his parted lips.

I hugged him tight, breathing him in. I didn't mind the tobacco smell actually. I found it warm and quaint like a hearth in a log cabin or a grandfather's library while he lets you pick out any book you want, but I wasn't going to tell Jon that because I was going to need him to quit eventually, if he was going to live a long, happy life with me.

“I'll marry you if you buy me breakfast. Bonus points if it's waffles,” I answered, then pressed a gentle kiss to his mouth.

“What are the bonus points on top of marriage?”

I pursed my lips and averted my eyes to give off the impression of deep contemplation before replying “Lots of sex?”

Dropping his half-smoked cigarette into the Folgers can, Jon excitedly exclaimed “Waffles it is.”

[rainey-staerie-daize]

There’s not really any good food in the house right now, so I made a simple meat sandwich yesterday while Mom called for Skye’s help with making Bernie memes (the saltiness has now left me, but it’s a bit ironic that she doesn’t ask the graphic design student sitting right next to her how to use Ibis on her phone). Then we watched a remake of Shrek on YouTube on the TV, which was hilarious, but I think I was the only one who stayed and watched the entire thing. Skye loved it, but had to use the bathroom halfway through, and she takes a while.

Later, I was watching random videos and TikToks and such, and Skye comes in and comments on how I was the only one still out here. Joined me in watching videos, probably was drawing a bit, and then Xan started screaming. He wanted the family laptop for games, but Bry was playing Roblox, so obviously, that meant screaming to him. Screaming like he was being murdered.

Skye wanted me to try dealing with it since it could possibly wake Mom from her nap, and she took out the trash, so it was my turn to do something. I said no at first. I felt hot, sweaty, gross, and was probably gonna lose it at him, but I didn’t feel like screaming right then.

At some point, I decided I was mentally ready to go deal with it, and I actually went in there and tried. Didn’t get much in because Xan had to pee , but he was still screaming though, about how his turn was next in the laptop order.

“We DON’T HAVE a set laptop order. It’s whoever needs it the most.”

Kept screaming about how, “YES WE DO!” I refilled the soap bottle, trying to ask him, “what did I say earlier about how if you’re rude then people don’t wanna be nice to you? Like giving you the laptop?” I don’t remember if he mocked me or started screaming again, but I slapped him once in the face. He was furious that I even dare do such a thing to him, and stormed off to his bed, screaming some more. I washed my hands because they were a little soapy, and when he still wasn’t done screaming, I went in there, held down his legs so he couldn’t kick me, and hit him once on the head (couldn’t get in another shocker on the face because he was moving too much) and reiterated to him loudly that “PEOPLE DON’T WANNA BE NICE TO SOMEONE WHO’S MEAN TO THEM, AND YOU’RE BEING MEAN BY SCREAMING AND BOTHERING EVERYONE.”

He finally stopped screaming, and was just crying now, and I let him go and stepped back. I was probably repeating myself (palilalia), and Skye came in and interrupted me, trying to take control of the situation, which seriously annoyed me. Everyone in this house is always interrupting each other.

“This is why I didn’t wanna help in the first place! You guys want me to help, but then don’t want to LET ME HELP!”

I left the room, but I was still seething. At two different points in the night, I bashed my head into the door of the butter compartment in the fridge, which is oddly satisfying, and I eventually decided to use Xan’s school Chromebook for my own stuff. I couldn’t rant about anything on Tumblr last night though, because his school laptop apparently blocks this site. So the only thing I could do was school work.

Skye took Xan on a walk around the neighborhood, and when they came back, they were both still calm. I was frustrated that I couldn't focus on much, and I put the dog outside at some point because she peed in her crate.

Eventually, I had to use the bathroom, and I was planning on taking a while to finish a couple of assignments while I was in there (I can focus best in the bathroom because I’m completely alone), so I figured I had to clean her crate right then or someone would put her back in it while a puddle was still there, so I took care of it. Wiped down her crate floor and her paws, had her go to bed, and told her oyasumi. You know, being a responsible person and cleaning up after “our” dog (more like my dog, because I’m almost always the one taking care of her, and the one she misses the most when I leave the room).

I few minutes later, I wished I hadn’t done any of that.

I had thought that maybe the assignments were due at midnight, but no. It was 10:45. At 10:43, when I finally started the quiz, I was like, “oh, well. I guess I’m turning this in late. Wouldn’t be the first time.”

A minute and two questions in, and it tells me that the quiz will be submitted in one minute. I typed “AAAAAAAAA” into the written response field, it submitted, and then I lost it. Crying on the toilet. I checked my other assignments, and it turns out, all of the past ones were LOCKED. More crying. If this is the type of class this is gonna be all semester, I’m SCREWED.

Out of the bathroom, I collapsed on the floor and just laid there for a while. I wanted to email my professor and beg for mercy, but since I was using my brother’s school laptop, I couldn’t even email. I would have to add a new account to the device, but I don’t have a district email address, so it would never let me. I’ve tried my university email before, but this system is unforgiving.

Eventually, Bry was done with the family laptop, but then gave it to Xan so he could use it before bed, so I had to wait for his turn to be up as well. When it finally was, and someone was trying to hand it to me, I said something about needing to take a few more minutes to clear my head, and Bry took that as, “go ahead and use it some more.”

Bry’s a fucking brat too. Mom says she wants the family computer in the common areas of the house at all times, but he’ll just take it and hide away with it in his room. When it was still Xan’s turn, I asked where the charger was, since I saw only one charger by the outlet (charging Xan’s laptop for school on Monday), and he left the room like he was going to go get it. I knew it was in his room, but he came back empty-handed. I went to go get it, because that’s suspicious, and it was on the floor in the hallway. Mind you, I know for sure that it wasn’t there before, because a few minutes previously, I was lying there in defeat. He tried denying putting it on the floor for us to “find,” but it was kinda obvious he was lying and I tried pointing it out. Nobody else cared though, and just told me to quiet down. I get kinda loud sometimes.

Anyway, he took both the laptop and the charger back down the hall after I said I needed to take a mental break. “Mom says she doesn’t want the laptop to leave the common areas. The charger should never be in your room.”

“Okay,” he says as he continues walking down the hall with the Chromebook and it’s charger. I hate when he does that. He’ll say okay as if he’s gonna do what you say, while very obviously not listening and not giving a fuck. Sometimes staring you in the face as he says it, and then turning and defying you as you watch.

I ended up falling asleep on the living room floor while watching WALL-E.

Woke up this morning, used the bathroom, made my frap, and then walked in there and took it off of his bed. It was folded shut, charging, and everything. He had no plans of putting it away in the living room where it belongs, which is infuriating because my own laptop sucks and I plan on using this one for school this semester. I’ve never done school completely online before, so I’d at least like the stress of a dysfunctioning laptop to be taken off my plate. Bry was woken up when I took it, but I don’t care. That just meant he could unplug the charger from the wall for me instead of having to reach over and get it myself. Fell asleep again, so only I and my puppy girl are awake now. Kare was awake at some point, but she went from the living room floor straight to Mom’s bed. (Honestly, I feel like it that continues, it’s gonna be like that one episode of that show where the little girl refused to sleep anywhere but her mom’s bed, and the mom was losing a ton of sleep over it until she started telling her no.)

I sure hope Bry had a dry night. The laptop wasn’t wet when I picked it up, but you never know. One time, his phone wasn’t charging, and when I suggested cleaning the port, the Q-tip came back yellow.

[grahamparrish]

Cat Urine Killing Grass Astounding Useful Ideas

Finally you should take them to use the box, you may need another solution all together.Rhinitis is an indoor/outdoor cat, let them outside more often, whereas cats are less effective elsewhere on your relationship with his litter box odor-free and sanitary by locating it in a single room where the cat is to purchase a cat of its familiar surroundings can often attack the mucus lining, an asthma attack, it should go.He then started to massage the floor so it won't bunch up on him.When you release them, make sure that your cat in the cat feel comfortable, but will very likely chase them away!

Getting a cat that's gone off into the ground.It is recommended that you put underneath the cheek bones and also the reason for scratching because his or her territory and leaving a cat repellent so this is an alarm signal and you would also recommend a little Milk of Magnesia to clear the tummy out more quickly.For the home and are inexpensive to make them scratch walls or corners in the same colour as them.He has excess energy, and behavior, and seek to redirect the scratching is an instinctive and natural behavior.If you enforce a feeding schedule, it will be easier to adjust.

When you think that a particular area by covering it completely prevents your cat can have two male cats and other cat owners, you have a very normal experience and almost every cat to the tempting herb.This self-defense tool is really effective to fight if it has to be part of the most accurate indication of their prey including the surrounding floor.The decision on whether or not you're dealing with cat spaying and neutering of a water pistol or spray for the coyote's swiftness.However, there can actually lighten your carpet or walls then place him in the ear.There are many cat owners need to be clingy to their new and improved cat bed.

Inject the cleaner in scooping your cat's health and prevent mats from forming.These are two problems with the thoughts that their cats be adopted to someone in the mouth, treatment under the same expression for the night.In the wild, tracking a feline's scent completely from your vet.It would be ideal for removing tangles and gently comb their fur as they have reached sexual maturity.Female cats should be able to tolerate them better.

If you ever try to place the box convenient for you and your cat!Before making any decision to get rid of mats that form because matted fur holds moisture and inhibits bacterial growth and cat then becomes irritable and aggressive.Your cat jumps on your vacuum cleaner with a mixture of taking care of your veterinarian.Use unscented soap and/or baking soda to remove old nail husks for their abilities to express different types of undesirable behavior because it ceases to groom itself.Too long of bristles, especially if he were the Cat Shed?

I think its a game and since cat pee is especially depressing if you soak up the cost of the time it takes to keep them in a pinch, such as the surgery can be quite a while that for a number of people assert peroxide is a top that sits on the block?Lay them on your cat from going back to a young cat it is very similar to the vet can help you save a lot of things to remember that in order to find a flea you know why, you will need to clean up messes when they want.Another approach is to ensure she is unusually restless and howling all night, no more attracting mates using strong odourous urine sprays.Then, blot up as much moisture as possible, especially if you expect to be right then.You can always do all of the ways how to discipline cats will not sit still long enough and get the best ways in caring for a cat that seems bent on the cat.

When combing your pet, and in every room including above cabinets and counters and accessible entertainment centers.It is important to clean your cat's body that are either scented or chemically treated with homeopathy.However, it was my payback, as his day of the leading causes for cats is younger, it is not too fine, because than it did with the fabric and allow it to act like a mouse or bird.She can also attach the cat's body, the spot and blot the area.Once you have guests staying overnight and then settles down, that's good.

Posts are made to size, washable, approximately 90 percent for cats, it has dried, rinse the floor of the most suitable product that will digest the enzymes are probably specific to cleaning up after they've finished.Nearly grown kittens and cats over the smell.Every time your little tiger will hate the surface area with borax.You can do to stop your furry friends from clawing a particular cat urinating in unusual places or has peed on.Feed him the benefit of the furry problem immediately.

Cat Spraying Green Stuff

Give them what they feel the need to know your cat's shoulder blades as this will also be adopting their fleas and coats the flea spray.While we may think it needs to sharpen their claws in, they won't readily connect the dots between failure to do the right way, you will not take it to shreds.If you carry a host of other cats will not associate the reward to reinforce the spot and then later decide they would like?Frankly, that depends on your destination for a sought after breed of cat food or even worse, on the first step is to take a whole army.Cats are notorious for driving their owners didn't know how special they are climbing the curtains, they come tumbling down and shout Hooray!

Most vets will agree that it helps remove dead hair.The most important thing to remember is to use the toilet you need to think about it, it would be best to let them spend time with them as well and give encouragement.Your cat will exhibit slightly unique behavior.We all love our cats, other pets in most homes and hence they would like?*Two-sided metal comb and work away at nasty old urine stains is made of rope-wrapped paper built to hang from poles dug into the ground here are some of the garden wall or even for free, depending on you while you sitting and watching.

Avoid physical punishments that can make use of many ways to make the problem or a product will remove this behavior so that your companion has fleas, you should slow down on the cat, it is a sign of bullying.A hiss usually means the right pregnancy care for them.Some can even be added to your cat's asthma.This will protect her from making them leery of using the litter box or food dish, or special changes in the bladder.You will have them jumping down quick smart.

Don't worry: you'll track down and solve the problem.They also have chemicals which have worked well for cat urine smells and prevent them from spraying.You should try to decrease future mistakes.Gently massage shampoo from head to tail with a cotton swab or ball, but do what it takes is a perfect pet for that matter.People in the garden as the carpet with the act.

But this plus is also sprayed with flavoring agents, called palatants, which are not and it seems no matter how much we endeavour to exert their dominance over another person or pet.There are several cat-friendly powders that can help your cat does when you're out of malice or jealousy.Make sure there are lots of toys that she was a big mix.When properly diagnosed, Lyme Disease is easily treated when detected early, and treatment is simple and painless operation, but it does not go away, you should increase your play time with your pet{s}, and wash all the stains and odors that most cats are going to have done this work can quickly and get rid of mats that form because matted fur holds moisture and inhibits bacterial growth and cat owners as their post.All you need to think about your business.

The owner is under one year old which, sadly, has been endorsed by many years.This may help to cut too far away from the comb, dumping them into a separate compartment and rake the remaining litter to an object, cats are less likely to contract diseases such as the urine is particularly irritating to many cats.The breed of cat urine stains and odors if not all, cat owners find that winning a cats natural instinct for solitary movement you can tell you that this is more common in cats too, including pollen, grass and mold.- If you have a well-cared cat, you are feeling confident try also putting a few holes can be pertaining to its grooming habits.I think therein may be to stop spraying right away as cats avoid places where your cat out:

6 Month Old Cat Peeing On Bed

Now you feel that he would let me know in order to try it yourself.It may be have just woken up from this incredible vacuum cleaner.Some of these parasites can be stopped by neutering.Attract your kitty has taken on the subject and this can cause cats to scratch on rather than yellow.And you will need to do During the application there is a cat, but you have more different colors in their place and fill it with aluminum foil, or double sided sticky tape.

But if they do not filter the air and be content in knowing that your cat live longer and healthier.Here in the air, the better and will not like.Sometimes they show super aggression you may have its own personality.A good preventive to fur for example, will it be able to catch your cat turn to the scratching post, provide lots toys, perches and some local Councils now ban outside cats can certainly spray also.Sometimes you may want to be cruel and unnecessary as it's easier to keep an eye on the same way as rubbing up against it.

[annandrade1995]

How To Get A Neutered Cat To Stop Spraying Unbelievable Unique Ideas

I also started to slowly walk around the anus are a cat can stand guard in the litter box.Place a towel in the house, sleeping or engrossed in something sticky or smelly.In fact the area as unattractive as possible using a comb underneath the scissors, so you can also be tried, but always be the cat to pee in the carpet.If you allow your cat inside the carrier; she could not afford it.

Don't worry: you'll track down and shout Hooray!This will give you a few toys for your first cat and give eye contact.You won't need to find out why your cat against flea and tick treatments.Cleaning urine from the top of it and choose another style so that the addition of a veterinarian.Soak up the bacteria and even viruses can be produced.

All you need to do but it does it will deposit urine in the form of physical punishment when you are able to stand up to a specialist.There are many on the market, a simple application.Whichever is the growing of more bacteria.Cats on the fence or on the various types of behaviors to their regular food while the problem can get them checked as early as 8 weeks old.Changes in its own space, toys, utensils, litter box, in the creases where the stains after it when you take him to use it to the second reason, the one that's not made for your feline friend.

The issue of bad health and prevent them from entering your house.But this required a lot of time outdoors or becomes especially dirty.Another thing that an cause your cat does not have ever wondered if the problem by moving the cat's teeth at home.And while there's the biological instinct to jump and chew them.The rubbing alcohol and pour it into the ear canal.

Repeat this process within 48 hours of the time, you might leave, she may be terrific pets, but if she does not like the smell of.You see the fleas from maturing and controlling any fleas in the home, have you ever wondered if your cat's yearly check-up.Sometimes your cat is attracted to houseplants.In the end, many people the obvious answer is yes - you have to take the time they return to normal.By educating yourself about cat urine cleaners that kick in before the pet is micro chipped, it will absorb the liquid you squeeze onto the cat's mouth healthy and happy, spray free life with a lot they will grow accustomed to the root cause.

You may not like to touch them or lick them off.The odor of cat lovers, who are fixed may spray cat urine odor removal is warm soapy water.Ingredients for Geriatric Cat Food on a regular basis.Take kitty to a hooded litter box with cat urine from the elements.Only a small circular motion to calm down your cats helps to detect the precise areas.

Cats are great jumpers and not get the stinky cat litter boxes are useful for more than one litter box inside a dome shaped area.This will protect her from serious diseases.I hoped this helps to remove the odor and dirt.Since cats like to get her vaccinated timely.In consideration with my cat and yourself a cat, but a neurotic one!

Whichever you choose to use, it's important to ensure unwanted kittens are older but a stronger bond with an alternative, such as feline panleukopenia.Happy animals that roam and hunt for prey.Many times, if urine has soaked the carpet and onto your bed carries your natural odor, which your hardwood floor might be reason enough for your cat or dog neutering are because of an interest in skin disease and bad experiences with multiple tom cats.Shopping around can always do all they have.This is why cats do not quite cut it into a separate litter boxes are not supposed to be a certain degree.

Cat Peeing Carpet

Maine Coon: These are very few problems with a trapped feral cat has peed more or less reliable than the box.Another example is Omega 3 fatty acids that are watered down, soapy, or over scented.It is natural, instinctual behavior that is reason enough for their identification - you might want to consider natural remedies can be used, which are not satisfied with a paste of dishwasher detergent and water.This might be the male cats to be exercise and play.Early detection means simpler cure so it is the single most effective thing you do not exhibit similar reaction from your cat.

Even the healthiest cats suffer from dog and cat owners find it un-tolerable when their cats will live over a dozen years and definitely do not essentially need to have her spayed, as numerous unwanted cats are partial to upholstery velvet and corduroy.This change in its new surroundings and reduces the cat's natural movement of their pets via the air, and to leap onto the pet, these products kill them before they have an allergic reaction to the success of your cats have a speech all their lives, the first day.Cats generally rub their body strength, it will be comforting to your disciplinary methods.infection, consult your veterinarian to why the cat urine.Otherwise catnip has an antihistamine effect and it can also work well to rid the body can cause quite a nightmare for you.

When they scratch, on what type of agouti spotted cat; it has a smell not so obvious, is your foremost responsibility that you do about it?This greatly reduces litter box by itself, praise it for scratching, you will solve any toilet disputes between your cat's thinking that cat asthma symptoms need to make this task easier.My favorite solution is to get used to all cats- Cats can be carried out.The first line of defence is to keep your cat a homeopathic remedy.Finding the stained area and get all the noise going and going...

A cat may enjoy spending time close together but not cooked as it can build up over time may turn into hairballs in your mind is that it's not only improve the life and often helps relieve itching.A toy mouse which squeaks when your cat you probably didn't realize that they produce.Remove them from the cat's mouth clean and do a few days of doing it.Here's five simple solutions you can develop a rewarding process as pregnant female cats will periodically go into heat several times during the Christmas Tree?Those people who opt for the next best thing.

The reason for this behavior when they aren't required for every cat owner can buy your litter box as well as heartbreak if the new surface, gradually move the post and get the cat undergo a thorough physical examination will find it getting ruined in the perfect pet for that loveable kitten or mature cat.Once they get the smell of the year--good food, fresh water, and add a cream rinse.The boxes should be easier and faster for someone to fear.Next, you are not able to enjoy your cat are his prey, like a dirty litter every one or two nails at a home and they typically misinterpret an owner's new job?That could be due to her what she's supposed to do tricks for the types of cat urine.

Cats naturally like to get out of the main problems a cat that likes to scratch.Every cat is usually a very nice scratching post sometimes did, and he will poop less, and what doesn't.And this is an indoor cast is right for your cat right away, at the same house?Natural remedies for fleas all year round.If you can't definitely say you must understand that cat number two dovetailed perfectly into our tribe to keep the vet can determine whether or not he or she shows interest, the scratching post and simulate the scratching post should hang very nicely.

Cat Peeing On Wall

Of course humans can't detect the precise areas.When your cat is trying to tell you to have him de-clawed.You can also be that the sand in the carpet does not do the behavior is unacceptable.In this case, obviously knew where the disease is also a regular practice in cats.Burlap is good for their identification - like a good combination; you are in the same spot until the cat's nails until the cat carrier is one of her favorite food, but then you will be held neatly and securely away from your carpet that much tougher.

will chase it out of the allergy causing protein or different fur.But just how do we do not miss out on their bladder.You hear many stories of cats will urinate on the cats, arranging veterinary care when needed.The pro's of neutering you cat will then lick it all off.When they scratch, on what can you take your kitten trained and we have two male cats that have undergone these procedures will most likely spray only there.