#i do feel like they could have handled the [redacted] arc better???? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spaceorphan18 · 4 years

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I agree that fandom got too caught up on who kissed and when, but I'm uncomfortable with the way that you dismiss the censorship in Glee. Leaving aside that the script for TFT proves it was there (what do you think those "scene redacteds" were all about?), TV, particularly network TV, has a history of censoring same sex relationships. This is not a thing made up by horny fans who wanted Glee to be porn. It's a valid topic for discussion, even if it's not a discussion you want to have

Alright. I’m in a mood, so we’re going to do this.

First of all, I’d say where did I say I’m dismissing censorship -- but then I’m sure y’all will dig up whatever quote I said, so we’re gonna skip past that part.

Alright, so here’s my thing. I actually do think it’s a valid topic of discussion and I’m not even opposed to having it. ;)

Yes, most definitely, Network TV has a history of censoring same sex related things -- especially moments of intimacy. They’re getting better about it, especially with streaming being so open about things, but it’s taken a long, long time. And big social changes -- like what can and can’t be on tv, don’t happen overnight. Should people be upset about things? Yes - absolutely, that is how change is made!

But what happened during Glee’s airing is a complex beast to tackle.

If you notice -- over the course of Glee, things changed. When it started, when Kurt and Blaine kissed it was a big, big deal -- Glee got hate mail, and it was all over the media, and it was HUGE. The fact that a TV show was going out of its way to show teenage intimacy this way hadn’t really been done. Sure Dawson’s Creek had the first M/M kiss, but that wasn’t Klaine.

But by season 5 and 6 we had a ton of gay/lgbt+ content in a row, and no one cared. Society changed. But Glee was just a step in one direction. Klaine and Brittana weren’t really allowed to be unclothed and sexual with each other -- while straight teen couples still could get away with a lot more. Especially when we see something like Blaine and Brittany get to be half naked in bed together, but they can’t be half naked in bed with Kurt or Santana. That’s a double standard.

I also see the issues with, for example, The Break Up, when at the end - the two straight couples got their first kisses shown, and the two gay couples did not. I still think this was mostly the glee editors being dumb asses and not the network, but it is something that people had every right to complain about.

Season 3, however, is another beast entirely. Because there was a lot going on at the time.

Yes - there was some interference going on from the network at the time, I do believe that. The First Time had to have a warning aired in front of it (which is ridiculous and stupid) when it first aired. And I do think there was some general -- can’t have it be too gay -- rhetoric coming down, because both Klaine and Brittana were held back quite a bit in a way that they aren’t Season 4+.

But -- there were two other distinct things going on, too.

1. The writers did not care as much about Klaine (or Brittana) as the rest of us did. At the time, there were a TON of stories going on. Will was still a main character. Finchel had this ridiculous stupid year long arc. Quinn had to be crazy. Rory needed things to do. There was a LOT of stuff going on, and the narrative of the time was less interested in telling Klaine (or Brittana)’s romantic stories, and more about the seniors and other things they wanted to talk about more. That was not censorship. That was the writers not giving a flying fuck.

I also don’t believe the actors were told that they could only sit so close to each other, or that they weren’t allowed to kiss. Or whatever other conspiracies like that that were going on at the time. Production and writing just did not give it as much thought as we did.

2. Meanwhile, there were a lot of people who claimed to here for lgbt+ rights, but only seemed to be mad when the gays didn’t kiss. They did not care about Brittana or what was going on there. They did not care about how Unique’s story was being handled. They did not care that the writers wanted to tell other stories. All they cared about was whether or not the gays kissed in the episode. And that’s all they yelled about. And it did feel hollow, especially since it was coming from a lot of straight women, who weren’t always listening to what the people in the lgbt+ community were saying at the time.

Not to mention -- there were a lot of other minority groups who were being treated even worse (anyone of color on the show) and those kind of things were falling on deaf ears, too, and in some cases (the racism) were being handled much worse.

It wasn’t everyone, and there were/are people have legit complaints that should be heard. But let’s not ignore the fact that the fetizishing was there.

But -- I will say, that Glee did start to change, as society changed, as the network’s antiquated rules changed, and as the writers seemed more interested, the show became much better about the lgtb+ content. It wasn’t perfect -- nothing is, and we still need to fight for it, but it tried.

Meanwhile -- stay passionate, keep fighting for rights because god knows lgtb+ people still need a strong community and helpful allies. But also, I’ve always been open to having these kinds of conversations, so let’s not be quick to assume I’m dismissive of anything -- whatever the fuck I may (or may not) have said whenever I said it. K? K. Thanks!

#that's how s.o. sees it #eesh #i'm tired #Anonymous

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detroitbydark · 4 years

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Chapter 9

Characters: Commander Fox/Reader

Warning: None

A/N: I’m breaking this and the next part into two seperate pieces to keep them at a comfortable readable length. Strap into your seats babes it’s about to get bumpy.

“For the love of Fett-“ Fox shoves the datapad away in a fit of disgust. Three others sit nearby. He was missing something and he was starting to wonder if it wasn’t his mind.

There was a piece he just didn’t have. Rex hadn’t been able to provide it, only given him more questions.

It’s well past the end of his work day but Fox can’t let it rest. He drags a holopad back. This one contains footage, surveillance of the ARC trooper from before everything had come to a head. There had to be something he was meeting, someone somewhere in the background. A hint of anything to go off of.

But there wasn’t. He’d watched the same blurry, looped feed six times already and nothing new presented itself.

That was the definition of madness wasn’t it? Doing the same thing over and over yet expecting different results.

“Fox?” Mouse’s voice cuts through the noise on his head. “It’s getting late. Let it be for the day.”

He raises a brow at the order. Not her usual gentle question. He’s not feeling playful or amorous and she seems to mirror it in the way she stands across the room, her distance from him speaking volumes and making his stomach clench uncomfortably. He’d give anything right now just to lose himself in the soft plains of her body, let the sounds of their passion drown out the voices inside his head that said he was failing.

“Can’t.” He gruffs, pulling another datapad over and flipping through the screen. redacted black lines take up the entirety of it and any attempt to bypass is left with a flashing red ‘access denied’. He snarls lowly.

“Alverde?” the term throws him off. His Little Mouse didn’t speak any Mando’a. She offers a tiny smile to his bewildered expression.

“Wren taught me a few things.”

His stomach clenches again, sour and dispeptic. Had they talked about what he’d said in the heat of the moment? He couldn’t explain himself now. Couldn’t have the conversation if she wanted too. There was too much he needed to-

Mouse’s hand softly cradles his cheek. He flinches away. He hadn’t realized she’d moved so close. Maybe he was too tied up in his own thoughts. The look on her face is hurt. It’s the only way to describe it, like he hadn’t pulled away but in reality had slapped her.

He grabs for her hand quickly, grip tight at her wrist. He presses a firm kiss to the back of her hand and then more along her knuckles until he feels the muscles in her arm begin to relax. Mouse sighs tiredly. Yeah, he could understand that. She moves to perch on the edge of the desk.

“It’s been a long day but I need to figure this out.” He tries to explain.

“Is this about Captain Rex?” The 501st Officer had not left a good impression on Mouse if her eyes glaring daggers at his backside as he’d left had told the story.

“This is about us all.” Fox corrects, saying aloud for the first time what was truly at stake or, at least, what he’d come to believe. “The Jedi, the clones, my brothers-“

Mouse sits, looking away from him and to the datapad.

“You shouldn’t be looking at these.” He says after a minute, though he doesn’t move to close anything out. Mouse raises a brow at him before getting up to pull the chair from the other side of the desk around next to him. He’d rather she be in his lap. Even next to him feels too far away. He can’t bring himself to act on it.

“Why are all these about the ARC trooper?” She questions, not validating his assessment with a response. She knew as well as he did that this was far beyond any clearance she had.

Fox’s jaw clenches. He needed to tell her to go. This wasn’t for her to see but he can’t because he's weak for her. Having her near may flare some nerves but her presence alone calms so many others.

“You're looking at this like Fives was the lynchpin in whatever plot you’ve got brewing.” She traces the image of the clone softly and Fox feels a flare of something ugly in the soft brush of her fingers against the datapad. “He was young, fresh from ARC training. Where would he find someone to conspire with?” She makes a point.

Maybe he’d been looking at this wrong, “so your saying, Fives wasn’t a conspirator, he just-“

“-got mixed up in it. Did the Captain say when they started noticing him acting strange?”

“After the clone Tup turned on his Jedi-“ Fox pauses for a minute. He’s already said too much so he decides, kriff it, and says it all “he was sick, they thought. Sent him to Kamino for- Rex said he wasn’t right after Tup died there.”

“But Fives didn’t think Tup was sick,” Mouse says quietly. Fox looks at her not for the first time and wishes he’d never laid a hand on her because now she was in this and he wanted her too kriffing to make her go. If this was high level stuff, something cooked up by higher military personnel than it was more dangerous than she’d ever know.

“Who do you think is responsible?”

Now that was the question of the hour. All the way to the top? Tarkin’s name comes to mind first and foremost. The man oozed hunger for power, latched onto any he could get and clung to it fiercely with thin skeletal fingers. Wulff Yularen was another probable candidate but he didn’t seem to stand out so much as Tarkin did. Maybe it was by design. Maybe Yularen has grown weary of being held at heel by the Jedi Order. Maybe he thought he could do better. It was a possibility but still it didn’t feel likely.

The Kaminoans had discouraged young clones from pacing, it was an inefficient use of metabolized energy and unnecessary for such high functioning merchandise. Fox found it to be the best way to think. The act of motion helped to center his thoughts, form them into something clear and concise instead of a tangled, jumbled mess. He rises to his feet and begins the short path back and forth across the office.

He needed access to the redacted files. His clearance- top secret- should have cleared all of that for him but it had barely scratched the surface of the files. They were utterly useless as they were now. He’d need them opened. If it was one of the admirals preparing for some sort of military coup he wouldn’t be able to go to them, while Yularen may comply with his request Tarkin thought too little of clones to agree even if he wasn’t implicitly involved. If they were working together any request would expose him to the full wrath they were capable of bringing down.

No. He needed to go higher. The Supreme Chancellor could get the files opened or at least find the one to order too. It was a matter of galactic security, even though Fox wasn’t a great fan of the Chancellor personally he trusted the man to do what was in the galaxies best interest. That was what he'd sworn an oath to do.

A warm hand slides over his. He startles. Again. He was too on edge for any of this. Mouse looks up with worried eyes.

“Fox-“

“I need you to go home.” He's brisk, erasing any tenderness from his voice. She does a good job of hiding the cringe at his words. He needed her to stop looking at him with those big, trusting eyes. Eyes that held all her faith in him. If she didn’t he wasn’t sure he’d have the strength to push her away again. Even now it hurt, felt like he was carving out a part of his heart with a dull vibroblade. He couldn’t drag her any further into this no matter how much he did- how much he did care for her.

He could not allow her to be in danger. If something happened to her… he just wouldn’t allow it to happen. Even if he had to be cold to do it. He’d make it up to her after the conspiracy had been laid to rest. When it was safe to have her at his side again. It physically hurts his head, his chest, and even down to the marrow of his bones to place what he wants (but now he’s more afraid that it’s moved on to a need) to the back burner for any reason.

“Mouse go home. Yours.” He clarifies before she can ask. “You can’t- I don’t need you here.” Fox is surprised he can lie so convincingly.

“Fox-“

“-No” his voice is sharp and Mouse flinches, he almost misses it as small as it is. All the same it’s like a punch to the gut. “Go home. I don’t want you here.” It’s amazing he’s able to get the words out. He’s never lied so completely in his entire decade of life. He feels like a hut’uun as Mouse turns away. She doesn’t fight him on it and he wants her too. He wants her to yell or rage. He wants her to fight to be with him.

His Mouse is smarter than that. She’s better than that. His cyar’ika knows him better than he knows himself he worries- he hopes- because the small sounds she’s making as she leaves the office sound like a broken heart.

——

It’s been a long time since you’ve been made to feel so small. You’d never handled rejection well. Your mother had been very cognizant of it and, after you’d lost her, the children’s home attendants had learned quickly. You’d always just been sensitive and any kind of harsh treatment made your mind push into shut down mode.

In a year working at Fox’s side he’d never so much as volleyed a cross word your way.

He hadn’t just then, your brain supplies helpfully.

That wasn’t how you felt. It was as if he’d slammed the door in your face. The sweetness he’d shown you over the last week was gone as if you’d only just come into his acquaintance. It kriffing hurt. That’s what it did. It hurt. Especially after your talk with Wren earlier in the day.

You wipe at your eyes as you take the elevator to the nearest speeder platform and wait for a taxi to loop around. A chill rises up from the lower levels and you shiver lightly. You think back to the previous night, the emotion that had bled through Fox’s words as he held you. The depth of what you’d felt when Wren had translated them earlier.

Forever.

That was the word that you let roll around in your head and your heart. But maybe that was just the heat of the moment falling from his lips? Of course you didn’t want forever.

This was too young, too new. Of course Fox didn’t mean it. Time away from one another would be good, breed perspective. You were drunk off the newness and the feeling of being wanted by such a strong individual. That was all. It was good to separate yourself from the situation. You needed to be alone so you could think clearly and reevaluate what you thought you knew.

By the time the door of the cab is popping open your brain has almost completely convinced your heart that it was in the wrong. Almost.

———-

Fox wakes at his desk, still on full armor with the exception of his helmet off to the side, at 0400. His back protests the first attempt to move into motion and he’s forced to stretch slowly before trying again. His vertebrae pop loudly in protest. He has to agree with them. Falling asleep draped over the duraplast was a rotten idea, certainly less inviting than other sleeping arrangements he’d made over the last week. He doesn’t allow himself to think of Mouse. Definitely, not the way she’d left him the night before.

There was too much riding on his time with the Supreme Chancellor today to allow anything to distract him. He needed more access, to reopen the case. To be given the freedom to investigate like he hadn’t had previously, like he hadn’t pushed for.

He makes his way down to the barracks, shucking his armor and blacks the second he’s clear of the door. The ‘fresher is his first stop. There’s barely an ounce of heat to the stream of water that pelts him. The cool blast wakes him faster than any cup of high-octane caf ever could. He’s efficient, clean and wrapped in a towel in no time flat like he’d been taught on Kamino.

Next, he runs a razor over his face. He doubted he’d be taking his bucket off but if it came to that, Chancellor Palpatine wouldn’t see anything other than the absolute pinnacle of military excellence. To complete the effect he takes the clippers, trimming the short hairs around his temple and back of his head back into regs. He pauses before he gets to the hair at his crown. It was getting longer, not yet floppy but more to the length than he’d traditionally allow.

Mouse had mentioned how she’d liked running her fingers through it as it had slowly grown over the last week. She liked the feel of it between her fingers and he couldn’t argue. He liked the feel of it between her fingers as well. He leaves it be and packs the razor and clippers away before retrieving clean blacks from his closet and fitting his armor back into place. He makes a point of shining the visor to a glossy mirror finish.

A yawn creeps past his lips and Fox takes a longing look at his bed but he knows if he lays back down now he’d be even worse for wear when he got up. No sleep was better than too much sleep as far as he was concerned. He had ways to fight the fatigue. Today was a day for caf and stims, maybe not in that order.

Like any good trooper, Fox kept half a dozen stims in a belt pocket for emergencies. On Coruscant they weren’t as likely to use them as the clones in off world war zones but they did get used from time to time. There was nearly no other feeling better than riding a stim high, comparable to a good night's sleep, three square meals, and a good hot shower. A single stim would make you feel ready to take on the world single-handedly. That’s what he needed today. He pops the little blue and red capsule dry, swallowing it down quick.

By the time he’s to the cafeteria Fox is already beginning to feel the effects of the stims in his system. He no longer has to focus to keep his feet from shuffling, his back feels straight and strong, and his focus is laser sharp. It doesn’t do much for the anxiety that’s been slowly eating at him since Rex showed up yesterday but it gives him the mental fortitude to pack every kriffing nerve and down, down, down burying it so deep below the surface that he can confidently pretend it doesn’t exist.

He downs a ration bar and a cup of caf without breaking his stride, the few clones already present and eating offer respectful greetings and Fox returns them with a quick nod. His vode. This is who he needed to get to the bottom of this for. He needed to keep them safe, make sure they had a future to work towards.

It's nearly 0630 by the time Fox is parking his speeder in the garage of the main senate complex. No matter what the time of day Coruscanti traffic, particularly around the Senate, was a nightmare. Not for the first time, Fox wonders what it might be like in another world, a place where the city isn’t a hodgepodge of thousands of levels dating back to who knew how many centuries past. What must it be like to see green pastures and vast waters, a place that was more scenic than scene?

His mind is firing on too many cylinders and he takes a moment and a deep breath to refocus. The stims are working their magic now and it was his job to focus it to precision, not let it run amok.

The clones at both security checkpoints entering into the building give him a thorough once over even as they recognize him as their Commander. He’s pleased. If they did this to him it meant they treated everyone entering the same, a possible threat until proven otherwise. The safety of the senators and their staff depended on his men.

His boots echo against the fine marble floor as he makes his way to the Supreme Chancellor’s offices. The turbo lift takes him to the top of the building and he encounters one last checkpoint before he’s able to enter. It’s nearly 0730.

Palpatine is busy at his desk when Fox enters. He waits at parade rest for a handful of minutes until the chancellor completes whatever task he’d been set on and looks up.

“Commander” he greets pleasantly, “your early. I wasn’t expecting you til at least the turn of the hour.”

“I can come back if I-“

Palpatine waves him off. “No, my young friend. Come closer. It will be nice to have the company before the business of the day begins.”

The informality makes Fox uncomfortable. He lowers himself into the seat he’s motioned too. “I’m afraid I do have some business for you this morning” Fox stares straight ahead, he’s glad he’s got his bucket on, even so, when the chancellor looks at him he feels as if the old man is looking through it.

“Well that is unfortunate but, part of the grand scheme of things I suppose. What is it? I did hope I’d hear more about the lady love I'd encouraged you to pursue our last meeting.”

The smile he gives makes Fox feel like squirming. His gaze is more assessing than friendly. Fox thinks of how precarious the situation is. His vode, the Jedi, Mouse.

“Any relationship would be wholly inappropriate given my standing within the GAR and the greater Republic, sir” it’s a deflective answer, neither admittance nor denial of what was going on. A brief flash of, what can only be annoyance, flashes across the chancellor’s face. Then it’s gone as if it had never existed.

“I’ve gathered new intel on the case of CT-5555.” That earns him a raised look, as the chancellor leans back in his seat.

“I see.”

Fox watches as the chancellor pushes up from his seat, he moves slowly. His weakness on display in the slight hitch in his gait, the way he holds a hand to the warm wood of his desk for a moment too long to maintain his balance. He moves to stand in front of the large transparisteel windows, turning his back to Fox as he looks out over Coruscant. “I was led to believe that all the pertinent information in that case had already been obtained. The case was closed last I was made aware.”

“And it still is” Fox leans forward in his seat, gloves planted against his knees, “some new information has come to light and, well, the case is so severely redacted I’m having trouble slotting it in or making any sense of it.”

“What kind of information?”

A dull throb, flares into existence at the base of Fox’s skull. Nothing as horrible as some of the headaches he’s endured previously but worrying all the same as the stims should have brought it to a screeching halt. He blinks once. Twice. It takes a moment to set his head straight.

“Captain Rex of the 501st-“

“Skywalker’s Captain?”

“Yes sir.” He hates the way the chancellor interrupts nearly as much as he hates the way his vode are spoken of as belonging to the Jedi. “Captain Rex has some insight into the clones behavior leading up to the incident. He says he filed a report but I’m unable to find any such thing in the case files.”

“The case is closed, my boy” the chancellor's tone has developed a chill. Fox wishes he could see his face but the old man doesn’t turn away from the window.

“You could have it opened. This is a matter of galactic importance.” Fox pushes, feeling desperation rising in his chest along with his heart rate but he can’t stop to think about that. He has to make the Chancellor understand. Now was not a time to hold back, “I believe there is a threat building within the GAR itself. A conspiracy to bring down the clone army and the Jedi.” The pressure in his head is increasing. It’s moving about, hopping from one point to another.

“The case is closed, Commander Fox.”

“Chancellor- I-“ he fights back a wave of nausea. The Chancellor’s voice is all around him. It’s in him, echoing off the insides of his skull.

“Commander Fox, you don’t want to look any further into this matter.”

Fox rises to his feet quickly. His head spins as he drags in a ragged breath. His lungs feel pressed tight as if they’d been placed in a vice, “I need to-“

“You do not need to continue to push this matter. The case is closed. You did a thorough review and found nothing.”

Fox cocks his head. The tension breaks with an awful clarity. The pressure eases, like the sky becoming clear after a late afternoon storm, “I did review the file. Nothing new was there.”

The Chancellor turns and offers him a grin. “You’re a good soldier, Commander Fox.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Now, tell me, how much assistance did your precious secretary offer for your research?”

#commander fox/reader #commander fox #cc 1010 #commander fox x reader #tcw

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spockandawe · 4 years

Text

Okay, I want to pull together more detailed thoughts at some point, I think, because the sheer amount of material means I have about ten billion thoughts to sort out. But I’ve read all three of the mxtx novels now, and loved all of them, in different ways. Though I already tried to figure out if I can pick a Favorite, and tbh, I can’t. I love them all in ways that are too distinct to let me rank them easily. And... man, it’s lucky for my friends that social distancing is in place, or I’d be hassling them shamelessly to give these novels a try.

RIGHT. So.

The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System: Shen Yuan goes to bed full of rage directed at a trashy webnovel with a grimdark blackened hero who conquered the world and collected hundreds of women into his harem.... and wakes up in novel, while that hero is still an innocent youth. As the hero’s abusive teacher. Who is doomed for a horrifying death unless he can somehow turn things around.

I think I had the most fun with this one. I really enjoy self-referential stories, and stories poking fun at certain genres, and I’ve run into the concept of transmigration before (the idea being a person enters a fictional world, a la lost in austen), though I’m blanking on any media like that I’ve actually consumed. This was chronologically the first book mxtx wrote, and it has less of a sprawling cast with complicated relationships than the other two books, but it definitely has the thing where she lays early groundwork for later revelations that shatter my poor heart.

And there may be fewer relationships to play with, but my GOD, do I love the relationships we got. I’ve been rolling around in svsss fanfic since I finished the book, even more so than mdzs or tgcf. There’s a lot of good crunchy relationship content with the 79 ship (they destroy me, all day every day), Liu Qingge owns my whole-ass heart, and Luo Binghe makes for a fascinating love interest. I love that even at his best, he remains a needy, needy, manipulative boy, who’s so smart and strong and nEEDY. I don’t love how the book handled moshang, but mmmm the fan content is Good. And Shen Qingqiu does the unreliable narrator thing that is usually not my jam, but works so WELL in these books, in that his unreliable narration is hugely skewed towards not giving himself nearly as much credit as he deserves. Xie Lian takes this to UNBELIEVABLE heights in tgcf, but in Shen Qingqiu’s case, it’s done on such a casual, immediate, personal level that I’m fascinated by everything he does.

And, since Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu is a millennial fan of trashy romance webnovels who gets yanked into the universe of a novel he hates, into an old-timey xianxia setting, the prose is SO COOL. You swing between modern slang and old school high society courtesies at the drop of a hat, and I’m honestly awed that the translators were able to catch so much of that. Like, in-setting, I love all the nuance you can get in ‘qi-ge should give his a-jiu the scroll’ vs ‘yue-shixiong should give this teacher the scroll’ vs ‘you should give me the scroll’. But then it adds a whole new layer when the person ALSO has modern-day casual speech bouncing around in their head. It makes for a fascinating, fascinating reading experience.

The Grandmaster Of Demonic Cultivation: Thirteen years ago, Wei Wuxian died. And then he wakes up! In someone else’s body. I’m not going to try to summarize the premise of this one, go look up The Untamed if you want someone to do a better job of this than me XD

Ahhh, this was the book I read first. I still haven’t watched the show (only clips) and I’m not sure I ever will, because adhd is a hell of a drug. But it’s hard to purely evaluate the prose when there’s also this gorgeous, beautifully-acted visual adaptation all over my tumblr to bias me in its favor. I think this book benefits a lot from the MYSTERY of it all. From the very start, there’s the question of ‘what the fuck is up with this goddamn arm’ that the characters pursue, even as that takes them through flashbacks and other arcs within the story. It gives a thrust to the novel that I think isn’t exactly there in tgcf, though I’m torn on which one is “better.” This gave the story momentum, yes, but it also meant I was much more impatient in yi city and the 3zun flashbacks, because this isn’t what I was focused onnnnnn this is cool but how much longer will we BE HERE--

That being said, I think I’ll be more patient with those flashbacks on my next time through the book, now that I have a better picture of where everything is headed. I think the balance and structure of the book worked really well, I was setting myself up for self-sabotage because of the pace I was plowing through the thing. My reading habits didn’t lend themselves well to the nonlinear storytelling, and it speaks to the story’s strength that it held up that well despite me. And the CAST. My GOD. I went in not caring about anyone but Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji and maybe the jackass nephew, but... that Did Not Last. I didn’t intend to care about 3zun? Nope, too bad, you care so much now. Who cares about Xue Yang? Me. I care. Way too much. HECK!!!

And something that happens in this book and tgcf that was much less of a thing in svsss is that there are some meaningful holes in the story that I’d like to be filled, and I really care about filling-- and the story doesn’t go there. But it doesn’t leave me unhappy, it leaves me cheerfully scrabbling around in the throwaway details trying to piece together a picture of what happened when I wasn’t looking. What happened to Wei Wuxian in the burial mounds? How did Hua Cheng take control of the ghost city? Idk, but let us Rummage and theorize and roll around in ideas and have a fantastic, speculative time. Svsss might hook me more than the other stories from an au+shipping perspective, but mdzs and tgcf do a great job of making me want to roll around and create within the bounds of canon.

Heaven Official’s Blessing: 800 years ago, Xie Lian ascended to heaven. And fell. And rose again! And fell again. Now he’s ascended for the third time, and things are Awkward.

God, I just finished this, and I’m still reeling. This is the LONGEST mxtx book, that’s for sure. I also think it’s the most tightly edited translation. All the translators did an unbelievable job, I could never even approach what they accomplished, but I am genuinely stunned that a book this long was edited so well. I blew through this in about 3.5 days (if not for work, i could have made it in three dghsafdsgf) and my brain was cooking in my skull by the time I was halfway through, but I couldn’t STOP. I was ENCHANTED the entire time! I was reading so much my head was destroying me and I still sulked so HARD every time I had to put my phone down and sleep.

This book sprawls the hardest, I think, because it involves a cast made of mostly immortal/immortal-adjacent people, so time and space get... flexible. And I feel really bad saying this, because Lan Wangji is DEVOTED, but this is seriously the book with the most attentive and adoring and respectful love interest. Hua Cheng is..... god. I truly don’t think I’ve EVER read a character quite like him before, and I am so, so sad, because I don’t know how I’ll find one who lives up to these heights ever again XD I recommend reading this book just for the Hua Cheng experience, if nothing else. I was making audible noises at literally flailing at multiple points in the story, but most often, it was because of him.

Shipping is what usually drags me into a fandom hardest, and all of these books do pretty well for themselves, all of them have a nice selection of fluffy and crunchy ships to choose from. And this one... goddammit. I just realized, that the best, most crunchy ships are too spoilery for me to be willing to talk about them here. Hell. Goddammit. But I think tgcf has the crunchiest ship of all, even better than xuexiao. I was so invested, and then there were Reveals, and then I was like OH NO THIS IS TERRIBLE BUT MY INVESTMENT HAS EXPONENTIALLY INCREASED.

And something that I really, really appreciate, is that across the mxtx books, even though a lot of characters fit into strong archetypes, there’s nobody that is blurring together for me, either within or across the books. Liu Qingge isn’t Jiang Cheng isn’t Feng Xin. They’re all blunt, fighty boys, but all super distinct in my head, and what I want for each of them is distinct and character-driven. I want Liu Qingge to be properly cherished and I want Jiang Cheng to relax with his brother and nephew and I want Feng Xin to [goddammit i don’t want to spoil this book AGH]. It’s something I appreciated in the other books too, but I can really FEEL it in this book, with how long and luxurious it is.

And last thing I have to say, I think, is that tgcf is so long. It’s so, so long. But I would FITE if anyone tried to pare it down at all. I can’t think of anything I’d be willing to sacrifice. I enjoyed every last piece of it so much, and it was all ultimately SO well-constructed and interlocking, that any piece I can think of snipping out would take away significant emotional impact from what was left. It’s a nonlinear story, like mdzs is nonlinear, and I loved mdzs a lot! But the construction here is so, so, so elegant. I’m just in AWE of how well it was assembled. I was in Agony as reveals happened, because oh no no no no, now that they’ve told me this, that casts this whole other scene in a brand new light! The one I read hundreds of thousands of words ago! Literally, I need to go start the book over so I can savor the shitty teens in new ways, given [redacted] as revealed in like, the last twenty percent of the book. The book was a fun experience, but there’s so Much here that I know I haven’t even absorbed yet. I loved the other mxtx books a lot, and in many ways, they were easier to get a grasp on than tgcf was, but even before I finished tgcf I was already despairingly trying to figure out how easily I could fit a full reread into my life, and I think that says a lot

#tgcf #mdzs #svsss #long post/#[sad journaling noises as i realize that whatever ridiculous wordcount tgcf has still only counts as one completed book on my list]#i need to get an actual wordcount at some point #then stack up enough physical books to visually represent each of these monsters #i know i read a lot #enough that i very much want to know *how much* i read #because CHRIST

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nellie-elizabeth · 4 years

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Outlander: Journeycake (5x11)

I... have some problems, y'all.

Cons:

I'm not even going to sit here and talk about all the things that are different between the book and the show, because I actually think plenty of the changes were for the good, here. But one thing I will say is that Roger, Brianna, and Jemmy leaving to go back through the stones felt incredibly unmotivated. I know they talked about it earlier in the season, and agreed that they would go through if it turned out Jemmy was able. But in the book, Brianna's daughter is sick and will die without a surgery that can only be performed in the future. They all have to go. Here, the reason is a lot more nebulous, and I kept thinking - what's your actual hurry? What is your reasoning for leaving now? The war coming? Yeah, I mean I get that, but still. Bonnet is dead, there's no immediate, personal threat... it just felt like they decided to leave because the narrative needed them to decide that.

The way the story is changing, I'm starting to wonder if season six might be the final season of Outlander. They're taking some big shortcuts, changing some big elements, and it feels like they're wrapping things up instead of expanding for future developments. I'm... oddly okay with that, but it does make certain existing moments in the story feel underrepresented.

For example - Lizzie. Brianna and Lizzie have this 'touching' goodbye moment where Lizzie at first assumes she's going with Roger and Brianna to "Boston", but then Brianna has to tell her that she needs to stay at the Ridge. This relationship had no real time to bloom. Lizzie literally has to remind the audience why she and Brianna might be important to one another. Lizzie plays a bigger role in the books, and maybe her story-line will still happen in season six... or maybe not. She feels like a dropped plot thread.

Also... okay... while we're here, let's talk about what's going to happen in next week's finale. I was hoping, what with all the changes from the source material, that we could do away with the trauma detour that Claire is about to take. I don't want to spoil what it is, but Gabaldon has certain tendencies in her writing that I frankly get very sick of very soon. I'm not saying it's going to be poorly handled, but I honestly... just don't want to see it. And the Browns don't feel like enough of a presence for this sudden attack to be motivated, either. What a disjointed way of bringing the season to a close, to suddenly have a vaguely menacing man become the final villain of the season. I don't know... it feels lackluster to me, and it also feels unnecessary.

Pros:

While Brianna and Roger's departure felt unmotivated for me, I will say that many of the trappings of it were still appealing. I liked Bree and Marsali embracing as sisters, I liked Jamie telling Brianna about William. I loved the goodbye with Lord John from Brianna, and the moments with Roger and Ian. I'm also really intrigued by the cliffhanger there, as it appears the family has made it through the stones, but they look up and out over the scene and seem surprised by what they find. Did it work? Did they go to the wrong time? This is not how any of this happens in the books so I am genuinely not sure what to expect.

Lord John!!! I am, as always, predictably in love with every second this character is on screen. I love that he shows up at the Ridge uninvited and unexpected, and Jamie is immediately asking him to become their first official guest in the big house. So cute! The two of them sitting together, talking about William... John giving Jamie a portrait of his son... talking about how he looks more and more like his father every day... John talking about going back to England, and how there are "many things he's going to miss" about being in the colonies... Jamie totally understanding that...

I think what I love so much about this relationship is that it has the intimacy of total understanding behind it. They effectively... have a child together. I mean, not really, but Jamie loves his son from afar and John loves and raises him. It's a tragedy but it's a beautiful one, and their affection for each other is only strengthened by the difficult journey it took to achieve it. I will always take every opportunity to ramble on about John far more than the narrative justifies.

And another thing! About John! is his relationship with Brianna. I love it, I love how close they are, I love how John gets to tell Brianna about her brother in this moment of true friendship and understanding. In the books, it's a much more contentious realization for Bree, but I like the change here.

Also, and this is a small thing, but Ulysses' ending in the show is MUCH better than in the books. Instead of running off with [spoiler redacted], he runs off with Lord John, to pose as his servant so he can be free once he sets foot on a British ship. I mean, I don't think we should forget that Lord John has a plantation in the colonies and probably has slaves, even though we don't hear about them. But for this character in particular, I appreciate that Ulysses gets to leave and be a free man, and escape punishment for the murder of a white man who was trying to kill Jocasta.

Ian breaks my heart so much. I had kind of forgotten that he didn't already know the truth about his time-traveling family members, but in this episode he is told everything. His first reaction is to wonder about what can and can't be changed - he understands that big historical events can't be circumvented, but what about a thing that happens between a man and his wife? He wants to go back in time and fix things with his wife Emily, but unfortunately he cannot travel through the stones... this made me so sad, and I love it as a succinct way of encapsulating Ian's arc of grief. He bears witness to Roger, Bree, and Jemmy's passage through the stones, with a charge to look after the lands that Tryon gifted to the family. This feels like such a good place for him to be as we look towards the final episode of the season!

There are plenty of details I didn't mention, but I think I've covered the gist of my thoughts. I do not think it's a problem that the events of the story have been changed quite a lot from those of the book. I do think we run into some issues when a character takes the same action as in the book, but with the circumstances so wildly changed as to make the motivations less coherent. This episode overall felt disjointed to me, even though there were plenty of moments in it that I loved.

7/10

#review #outlander #outlander review

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lunahearts · 5 years

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Some Star Wars thoughts, in no particular order

Preface: I really liked this movie. Spoilers below, obviously, but not many more than what was already leaked. I try to keep stuff vague, so if you like... know a couple of big things that are being talked about (way too much for some reason honestly oh my god) and are trying to decide if you want to see the movie, this should be safe!

Okay first, to get it out of the way... some complaints

Finn should have had more screen time, as usual. I do like was done with him in general, but there should have been more of it, and his biggest hero moment unfortunately felt a little underwhelming. I’m also pretty uncomfortable/disappointed with how he seemed to be portrayed as having like this one-sided thing for Rey that was even framed comedically at times. That being said they end the second to last scene and strongest emotional beat on him and it was very good (and tbh the scene that followed felt more like a stinger to me, as far as I’m concerned the movie closes on Finn finding a family, and a happy ending, and I love that)

The whole thing was jammed with at least a movie and a half’s worth of plot. *looks at tlj* no idea how that could have happened. I think it does a good job with what it has to work with, and tight writing + good set up and payoff make it work most of the time, but... room to process their feelings, characters have not.

The kiss was stupid. It also, imo, was entirely fanservice and if you removed like two shots and replaced them with something platonic GIVE US THE FOREHEAD TOUCH TAKE I KNOW IT EXISTS then I think that Rey and Kylo’s interactions were very well done. It’s not romantic unless you are already looking for it to be romantic. Except for the kiss. Which was stupid and sudden and out of place.

Okay anyway I am gonna gush now

So first of all I just think the plot and pacing of this movie was really well executed. It wasn’t the most exciting or daring of plots, but also it didn’t need to be. The rule of three set up and payoff was outstanding though, and that’s really what carries it. A lot of the time it’s easy to see that payoff coming, or at least see that it is coming, but it mostly feels like being a bit spoiled for a really good story - even if you have a good idea where it’s going you can still really enjoy the journey. And you probably don’t know exactly where it’s going, anyways.

my favorite example of this is something they set up really early about Rey and Kylo’s force bond, and a thing it can do.

This first time it happens is a super fast “woah holy shit that can happen???” moment.

The second time its a “oh. oh no. it can happen and has happened in the worst possible way”

and the last time is “OH! OH!!! ITS GONNA HAPPEN ITS HAPPENING OH MY GOD.”

The THEMES. Holy shit the themes. This movie 100% sold me on Kylo redemption, as someone who was VERY uh... lets say I was very unimpressed by the idea of it going into things. And I’ll talk more about why I think “redemption” isn’t even exactly the right word, but for now yeah I’ll just say I really liked what they did with Kylo.

BUT ANYWAY THEMES. OKAY. I think it is so so vital and good to have a story so devoted to Doing The Right Thing. But not just doing the right thing. I think the absolute heart of the movie is just... no matter what you’ve done, no matter the mistakes you’ve made, choosing to do the right thing matters. It always matters.

Like okay I really think there’s a shift in how this movie deals with ye olde dark side compared to the first two, bc it’s very personal, and feels very grounded in trauma and fear and a phrase Liz said last night that I loved which is, “the seductive pull of despair.”

If I had to write is as a thesis statement I’d absolutely use that phrase, it would be something like...

“There is never a moment in which it is too late -- generationally, individually, or globally -- to resist the seductive pull of despair.”

But also like the other thesis is just “every good thing you do matters.” Which is probably one of my favorite power fantasies in the whole world.

Like there’s a group of people established at the midpoint of the film, who are just like, People Who Did The Right Thing. And they have been living ever since then taking care of each other, trying to unlearn the way they were raised, trying to resist despair in their own corner of the galaxy.

And like, in some ways it would be cool to just have them there! A nice story, a nice group of people, a nice expansion in the world of Star Wars. But that’s NOT where it leaves them, and very specifically there’s a moment in the final big confrontation where the big nasty man is like “do a thing! stop them!” and it doesn’t work specifically bc of an aspect of these people and the life they’ve built makes it not work. It’s funny and satisfying and a wonderful emotional payoff all at once.

And basically this is why the Kylo stuff works for me. Because it’s really not about him, it’s about Rey and Leia. It’s about Rey and Leia choosing to do good, and how that matters. If Kylo had stayed a shitty evil brat until the end, then their stories wouldn’t have been as powerful.

Kylo “I’m only here to reinforce themes” Ren

Okay but to touch a bit more on redemption, I really don’t think he’s redeemed. Or like, he’s not redeemed because it’s not about balancing anything out, or him going down in history as a Good Man, or other characters forgiving him. It’s about him spending the whole movie saying “you can’t go back Rey, once you do something bad you are bad and you can’t go back home.”

And they Rey does something bad

She does something bad and IMMEDIATELY LOSES HER CHANCE TO MAKE IT BETTER WITH THE PERSON MOST HURT BY HER ACTION

And then she does something good anyway

Because you can always do something good, and you can always go back. Even if you hurt someone you love. Even if you become, for a moment, what you are most afraid of. Even if you can’t unmake your mistakes. You can still do good. You can still make the world better.

And that is why he chooses to change. And that is a good reason to change. To see someone demonstrate that there is always room for kindness? To see that and find a hope you had lost years ago? That’s good shit! That’s what Star Wars is about babey!

Also the banter was back and good and the Trio Content oh my god. Thank you. Finally.

New droid is baby and I love them.

The new lady characters are obviously underdeveloped but I DO love them. There’s a moment at the end of the movie that makes me really hope that one of them gets a spin-off/sequel, and there is ample room for a standalone Poe prequel featuring the other one. I think they have pretty strong characterizations for the space they get.

also one of them gets an extremely good moment with Rey that killed me. Like don’t get ur hopes up for any actual content or conversation but it was one of those “oh I REALLY hope there’s fanfic” moments and I loved it.

I love Rey [redacted] and I will have to write a whole other post about her maybe.

I thought Poe’s arc was cool! It wasn’t what I was expecting but I thought it was interesting and I’m always down for some “ur friends are here for you, you don’t have to and also literally can’t do everything on ur own.

That’s another theme of the film btw and its good

Most of the action scenes were just kinda “eh okay this is a Star Wars movie I guess they gotta do that now. Like fun and flashy but overall without much substance.

BUT I really liked the second lightsaber fight with Rey and Kylo. Good way to mix it up.

Leia...........

Leia good

You are not your blood! You are the family you choose. Thank u and also finally.

I really liked how this movie handled the Sith and the lore/perspective it added honestly makes a lot of Sith stuff in general make more sense to me. It’s one of those cool bits of lore that isn’t exactly a retcon but it is retroactive context that shows everything in different light. Or like maybe that’s always been the context but I think it’s more clear and upfront about it.

I cried at one part bc there were lots of different ship designs all on screen at the same time and it was like.... wow... star war.... star war good.

star war good

#tros #tros spoilers #this is very stream of consciousness enjoy I guess

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