#i don’t hate it but there’s some weird flavor muddled in there (i have the mandarin flavored one)

[idontdrinkgatorade]

whoopsies didn’t place. lmao

[woeisme-iamwoe]

an absolutely massive Haikyuu!! fic rec pt. 3

KageHina AND KuroKen because I’m very picky with these ships so there’s not a lot :/ 

KageHina:

The Cure for You (is You), by tsunderei (6k. T. canonverse) 

Brooo...cute shit

Kageyama knew they would separate after graduation. He knew he was going to miss Hinata. He just didn’t know he’d still be here, three years later, nursing an old crush that now seems more or less ruined by time and distance and stupidity. 

discovering the smile of one kageyama tobio, by emleewrites (8k. T. canonverse)

Innocence, pure innocence. Those are synonyms, shut up.  

Kageyama blinks once before a grin of his own spreads over his face. Shouyou’s breath halts in his lungs at the sight, and he wills for time to stop, just so he can drink it in. He sees it sometimes, when they’re playing - Kageyama’s fierce smile when they pull a combo off just right, when they show their opponents how possible the impossible can really be. But then there’s another serve, another rally, and the moment is gone.

'Shame', Shouyou thinks to himself, as he lets his eyes roam over Kageyama’s stupidly happy face, taking in the creases that are from joy rather than frowning, for a change. 'It’s a really nice smile.'

-

In which it's their third, and final, year in high school and Hinata has only one goal: to make Kageyama smile outside of volleyball.

 room to grow, by Mysecretfanmoments (6k. T. canonverse)

Third year Kageyama is considerate, careful, doesn't grab Hinata's hair. Hinata's still trying to figure out how he feels about it. 

where the night goes, by bigspoonnoya (20k. M. canon-divergence)

This one is very popular, and for good reason! It's beautiful. 

When their bond loses the immediate context of volleyball, they're left to consider why it's still so vital and important.

Meeting again, by chance, six years later.

 thirty-three days of mist and mountains, by tinygumdrops (curryramyeon) (36k. T. canon-divergence)

Kageyama, that’s a lot of paper, sir. I sure hope you recycle, god damn. 

Tobio runs by himself every day. Even though he can't shake off that awful feeling that something's closing in on him, he still does it. It's habit now.

When he gets a phone call that Hinata Shouyou is thinking of coming to Italy, Tobio feels like he has to run even faster.

(Or: Tobio has a month to prepare himself before his high school rival comes to visit him. They haven't spoken to each other for two years, and Tobio can't even remember what food Hinata likes. He's got a lot to think about.)

 soft serve, by tothemoon (9k words. T. canonverse):

Alternatively, the fic that made me immediately go out and buy a pint of ice cream after reading. So cute and fluffy! We’ve got a socially awkward Kageyama and, if I may, a little bit of a subdued Hinata.  Cute, cute, cute. Want ice cream. 

"I'm gonna run you over with this truck," Kageyama says, with only half of his usual conviction.

(Because frankly, he's still flabbergasted that Hinata would remember his favorite flavor.)

Or, in which Kageyama and Hinata drive an ice cream truck for a week, the former struggles with a crush, and the latter dares to eat the popsicles without paying.

 Fake it, Make it, by zadderlee (50k words. T. canonverse. Unfinished):

Ah yes, the classic fake dating that causes real feelings to arise. Here for the trope, will always be here for the trope. It is an unfinished fic, but it's still worth the read. Actually hilarious and Suga had me rolling. I take back what I said about only feeling safe alone with Iwa, I’d feel safe with Suga (lets be honest, with almost all of the Haikyuu boys. But not Atsumu. Rat bitch (I love him so much). 

"Because Kageyama is already dating someone!"

"Really? Who?"

“Me!” Hinata shouts suddenly, grabbing Kageyama’s hand as an afterthought and grinning triumphantly, like he’s somehow missed the implications of what he’s just done. Kageyama is going to kill him.

 touch, by buu (3k. T. canonverse)

Pure, young love. COVID-19 doesn’t exist yet. (WASH YOUR HANDS, DAMMIT)

Hinata doesn't notice it at first, really. It's small things, natural things, like when they sit together at lunch and Hinata ends up hooking his ankle over Kageyama's and he doesn't move away; in fact, he seems to not notice it, and go on eating his lunch like nothing's different. 

 we are the sparks that never fade, by thecivilunrest (4k. T. injury au)

A Kageyama injury fic and I never realized how painful that could be until I read this work. 

The first thing Hinata tells him after seven years is, “Toss to me.” 

 confession, by buu (3k. T. canonverse)

Just a really short, sweet school-boy love fic.

“You've been an ass to me for three weeks!” Hinata blurts, and finally the weight of it is pushing down on him. He's been trying to ignore it, telling himself it's just Kageyama being Kageyama, but this isn't like him, this is weird, and Hinata hates it. He's miserable.

 kisses, by buu (3k. T. canonverse)

So many smooches! So pure! 

There's a blur and Hinata remembers warm lips, surprisingly soft from someone who frowns all the time, and Kageyama's terrified face when he pulls back, and the electricity running through Hinata's entire body, heating his cheeks to match Kageyama's.

Kissing, it turns out, is as good as volleyball.

 Never More Cruel, by dawnstruck (3k. T. canonverse)

How have you not read this?? I know you haven't, so read it and smoosh in sweetness with me.  

Hinata starts fading away from him, and Kageyama tells himself that he doesn't mind.

Kuroken: 

teach me the way home, by icespyders (22k. T. canonverse)

WHY DOESN'T THIS HAVE MORE HITS?? 

Don’t go far off, not even for a day, because —

because — I don’t know how to say it: a day is long

and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station

when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Kuroo and Kenma grow up in transit.

 Good Calls, MemeKonHQ (MemeKonYA) (4k. T. canonverse)

Captain Kenma, captain Kenma!

His first morning practice as a third year starts with a blur of gray and red moving fast towards him on his peripheral vision the moment he sets foot inside the gym, and then a pair of lanky arms gracelessly falling over him as Lev contorts himself in all sorts of ways to properly envelop him like some sort of octopus.

“Kenma-san!” He basically screams, thankfully far away enough from his sensitive ears that it doesn’t outright hurt. Lev puts his chin over the crown of his head and Kenma sighs, “Kenma-san! I am so happy! Some of the other second years thought you would bail on us! But you didn’t! Now you can keep tossing to me.”

(Or: Kenma's third year. Or part of it.)

 even if you're ahead for a bit, i will catch up, by ghostpot (4k. G. canonverse)

Kuroo sticking to it. 

Kuroo first confesses when they're sticky-fingered, wide-eyed kids, and subsequently every day after that. Kenma takes a while to come around. 

the golden route, by astersandstuff (12k. T. canonverse/road trip au)

Why is it so hard to find good kuroken fics? This is so good, though. Kenma and Kuroo in a van, on the road, kisses, and mackerel pike. 

“It’s a three-and-a-half hour walk,” Kenma points out, on the subject of the cat’s home in a town inside Ama District. “Why aren’t we taking the train?”

“That cancels out the point of a road trip,” Kuroo argues.

“Railroads are roads.”

“We’re currently leading a frugal existence.”

-

Or, in which two childhood friends go on a road trip and Kenma builds up a quest.

 love's not the way to treat a friend, by girltalk (8k. T. canonverse/post-canon)

How sweet! To be each other’s life lines. Drunk Bokuto is the best boy. 

There’s really nothing quite as revelatory as the silent minutes spent in bed during the aftermath of a wet dream involving you and your high-school best friend. 

 the walk home, by skiecas (42k. T. canonverse) 

Gorgeous. Author writes kurokens dynamic growing childhood through adulthood absolutely wonderfully. 

Kenma reluctantly spoons vanilla into his mouth, watching the sun set. And when everything is dusted in stripes of pale orange and purple and gold, he glances at Kuroo’s profile muddled in the shadows of the descending sun, and wonders whether he had somehow accidentally made friends with an impressive sort of boy. The ice-cream melted under his thumb feels maddeningly sticky, like he’ll never wash it away thoroughly enough and it would leave its mark wherever he touched before he could.

Kenma has never really thought of anyone as good-looking before, never really cared enough about these things to notice them. But Kuroo is objectively so, in this light, in this angle—maybe all the time.

(A Kuroo and Kenma life story, told in five acts).

[softgrungeprophet]

johnny storm/human torch cocktail:

no measurements cause i don’t plan on making it and if you do you can figure it out yourself

hurricane glass, poco grande, or a tiki bowl if you really want

base of cachaça (mixer’s choice tbh but the paler color the better) or some kind of sugarcane white rum.... A mezcal might also be a good alternative choice for this... (for smokiness or deeper flavor) We want it to be as white or as clear as possible... so if you want to use an aged cachaça, go as pale as possible, or if you want to use a regular white rum instead... it’s up to personal taste/availability really but IDEALLY it should be cachaça and/or mezcal. You could try to combine the two, or combine rum with one of them, or just pick one... If it works, it works, if it doesn’t, my apologies. I have no guinea pigs on which to test this particular combo.

enough blue curaçao to make it blue and impart that laraha flavor. I’m not sure how strong the base is compared to this, or how much would be overpowering so, add enough to make it blue and to make sure it doesn’t taste like garbage. 👌 (off the top of my head i’m thinking like, 2 parts base, 1 part curacao.)

a bit of goldschlager or any clear cinnamon schnapps or spiced liqueur really...  I picked goldschlager because of the gold flakes and the clear color but you can use whatever u like depending on how sweet you want it, or even leave it out though I imagine the cinnamon goes with the citrus, goes with the base. ideally colorless regardless. Add as much as you think works, but probably not more than half as much as the curacao if that. Probably much less.

edible gold luster dust. Not too much, just enough to add a gold shimmer.

stir it all up. actually this might be a drink best chilled by shaking with ice and straining out so it’s clear before stirring in the luster dust.

light it on fire. (don’t actually do that)

hypothetically you would use a soaked and flaming sugar cube in an orange peel shell or boat. i won’t say to use lemon extract to soak the sugar cube because fire is dangerous but, that’s a thing. don’t do it though. and definitely don’t sprinkle cinnamon on it unless you are planning to burn your house down.

.....

this drink can flame on metaphorically in your heart.

if you’re making it without fire, which you most certainly should be, top it with a nice orange peel twist to make it look fancy

If you’re like me and don’t drink, the way I’d go for a virgin human torch (ha) would be a nice high quality ginger ale (aka not too sweet, with a little bit of kick) mixed with orange juice (optionally mulled in cinnamon and spices (and chilled)).... would not be blue unfortunately, though I guess you could use blue colored hawaiian punch (polar blast, i think) instead of orange juice, though it still might end up greenish depending on how dark your ginger ale is. getting very close to a virgin Blue Hawaiian here.... Some cinnamon simple syrup might still work here, I’d have to try it to really know, but it seems like it would probably be less good if you’re using tropical fruit punch lol especially if you use the other blue shade of hawaiian punch which i think is a berry fruit punch.... to be fair I don’t like berry fruit punches that much already but with cinnamon syrup and ginger ale it sounds extra nasty

you know what, for shits and giggles here’s spider-man, too:

use any clear glass or cup you have lying around, highball, martini, wine, children’s winnie the pooh cup with floating sparkles, whatever works

RED: lemon-lime soda of your choice mixed with cranberry juice cocktail

OR if you wanna be a little more Mature/less syrupy sweet, you can swap the sprite/7-up for club soda or swap the juice cocktail for pure cranberry juice or muddled cranberries and some squeezes of lemon and/or lime juice, maybe throw some slices in the glass too, why not, anything goes. If you fucking hate cranberries like me, you could also try some grenadine or chambord instead of cranberry juice... MOST of the flavor and sweetness is going to be from this portion so make sure you like the taste and levels of sweetness. Hell if you wanna use a totally different soda like orange soda or juice like fruit punch or raspberry cider, go nuts. This is a kitchen sink drink, like the kind you would make at 2 am in your apartment after a long day.

BLUE: some everclear or high proof vodka mixed with a bit of blue food coloring (yes i’m serious) poured over the back of a spoon to float on the top of the red base (everclear or vodka with food coloring SHOULD float on top of the sweeter and denser soda/juice base) You could probably use blue curacao again here tbh, or even better, UV blue vodka, which is raspberry flavored... I’m not enough of a chemist to know if that will float as well but I suspect it still should, cause it should still be less dense than sprite or juice. If you’re using chambord or a fruit liqueur for the red part instead of the cranberry/soda it should still be fine, cause UV blue is still... vodka... Curacao on the other hand miiiight not float as easily on top of something like chambord but it might still be workable? depending on the respective ABVs and stuff. i guess you could try to flip the colors and make the denser sweet base out of blue typhoon hawaiian punch and sprite or something and float the chambord on top. Whatever you desire.

simple syrup lemon juice + salt rim (is this gross? this might be weird)

toss in some ice cubes. maybe a straw if you want. do whatever.

and remember

with great power comes great responsibility

what i’m saying is use your brain, don’t get alcohol poisoning, and don’t drive.

this also doubles as a 4th of july drink

i’d drink a non alcoholic version of this--actually that’s a lie cause i don’t like cranberry but i do like orange sprite so 🤔 Virgin Spidey = tropical sprite... maybe some muddled raspberries or strawberries... OR grenadine... top with some blue typhoon hawaiian punch or a blue soda.  grenadine will probably sink to the bottom even if you use blue soda, since it’s a syrup and much denser, but you could also use the muddled fruit for a red layer tbh... yeah that works. doesn’t sound half bad either

i doubt anyone will make these but if you do god i wanna know if they’re awful/if they look pretty/take pictures

uhhh... i also have some other drinks not *based on* characters but just that they drank in a fic here: link to drinks

[inventors-fair]

Adventure Commentary pt. 2

~

@morbidlyqueerious - Disperse the Energies

I am definitely not a fan of repeatable counters. So, you maybe swing in with a flying or unblockable creature early, then counter all their next creatures, then swing again, then have backup counters - this card might be okay if it sacrificed itself after one iteration. For now, it’s unfun, plain and simple.

@nine-effing-hells - Heed Not the Warnings

Interesting take on Sulpheric Vortex-ish effects. With this coming out early, it could be quite a bomb. I don’t quite get the flavor, or the flavor text. I think that this could fit better with a plague or an apocalypse flavor, not...whatever’s happening down there.

@ozthearistocrat - Gather Ingredients

Good card. Feels overcosted. Drop it to three, maybe, and it’s fine. Neat little tutor, though!

@prodigy-of-vryn - Toll Troll

Okay, so here we have “adventure hate,” which is valid design in a limited environment, regardless of the original prompt. I don’t think that black gets the effect of “removing from combat,” regardless of flavor. -X/-X effects, lifegain, or opponent life loss might be better here. Also, is there no way in that program for “2″ to be the {2} symbol? That’s just me being curious, I don’t use any online programs myself.

@reaperfromtheabyss - Friends Made Along the Way

This CARD has some pretty good QUALITIES. For example, I like how it makes TOKENS, but I’m not a fan of the fact that it only enters with THREE COUNTERS and only creates ONE TOKEN per combat. I suppose that’s fine for an UNCOMMON, but during combat, to guarantee a hit on the ADVENTURE you need to be attacking usually with MULTIPLE creatures, and as a result, despite the POWER of the second ability, I feel that the value you get from the token creation is NULLIFIED.

@snugz - Destiny Awaits

So, as you mentioned in your submission, you had a lot of problems with the Adventure mechanic. I hope that our conversation cleared some things up a little, but I also appreciate that you took the time to revise the concept of Adventures into a completely different direction. I think that the “if” clause should be replaced with a “when” clause, personally? So that the damage isn’t totally negated. Aside from that, I think you and @imakethecard should have some serious conversations about the potential of what Adventures mean. Your point of view is valid, regardless of my personal takeaway - after all, we’re both Magic players.

@starch255 - Investigate the Portal!

I’m still not 100% a fan of things exiling when they hit the adventure, like Return from Antiquity in the runners-up. Still, I like the flavor here of things not coming back until it’s too late, and the monster emerges. Why 5/7? I mean, it’s not unreasonable, but man, it feels weird to look at. Heh, maybe that’s part of it, I suppose, considering that the Eldrazi are weird to look at.

@tmstage - At Any Cost

I don’t think that “starting quest cost” is something that currently would be grokable, but that’s not for me to say, since I’m not the one who designed the card. “All creatures get -X/-X, where X is six minus the number of quest counters on At Any Cost” would be how I would have worded it, but that’s clunky as butts. I really like this concept. I don’t like how it sticks around and muddles the board into a state of “nobody able to play any creatures ever” after a certain point. Maybe it could have a sac effect when it has no counters to give everything -6/-6 until end of turn. Yeesh, that sounds nice and potent.

~

Thank you all for your entries! New contest tomorrow.

[kaaramel]

Can I see Winona's lines?

QUAGMIRE_WRONGKEY = "There's another key around here somewhere.",ACTIVATE =LOCKED_GATE = "Can't get in yet.",FOODFULL = "Ah, a wonderful bird, the peli-can.", --it's beak can hold more than its belly-can!NOTDISH = "I don't wanna go angering no demons.",INUSE = "Shucks. Someone beat me to it.",REPLATE =MISMATCH = "I always get my dishes mixed up.",SAMEDISH = "It's on a dish already.",QUAGMIRE_ANNOUNCE_NOTRECIPE = "The ingredients didn't assemble right.",QUAGMIRE_ANNOUNCE_MEALBURNT = "What a waste of food!",QUAGMIRE_ANNOUNCE_LOSE = "N-nice sky wyrm... Uh-oh.",QUAGMIRE_ANNOUNCE_WIN = "Better leave while we can!",QUAGMIRE_ALTAR =GENERIC = "Moss has grown over some sorta socket in the base.",FULL = "That should keep it busy fer a bit.",QUAGMIRE_ALTAR_STATUE1 = "It probably looked real nice once.",QUAGMIRE_PARK_FOUNTAIN = "Under-used 'n overgrown.",QUAGMIRE_HOE = "I never done farmwork.",QUAGMIRE_TURNIP = "A fresh, ripe turnip.",QUAGMIRE_TURNIP_COOKED = "I'd rather not eat them on their own.",QUAGMIRE_TURNIP_SEEDS = "I got no idea what they'd grow into.",QUAGMIRE_GARLIC = "Makes everything taste better.",QUAGMIRE_GARLIC_COOKED = "Bet that brought out the flavor.",QUAGMIRE_GARLIC_SEEDS = "I got no idea what they'd grow into.",QUAGMIRE_ONION = "I hate chopping vegetables.",QUAGMIRE_ONION_COOKED = "Done and done.",QUAGMIRE_ONION_SEEDS = "I got no idea what they'd grow into.",QUAGMIRE_POTATO = "I just think they're neat.",QUAGMIRE_POTATO_COOKED = "I've always been a meat and potatoes gal.",QUAGMIRE_POTATO_SEEDS = "I got no idea what they'd grow into.",QUAGMIRE_TOMATO = "Gotta appreciate havin' fresh vegetables.",QUAGMIRE_TOMATO_COOKED = "I prefer'em fried and green.",QUAGMIRE_TOMATO_SEEDS = "I got no idea what they'd grow into.",QUAGMIRE_FLOUR = "I ain't much of a baker.",QUAGMIRE_WHEAT = "I go against the grain whenever possible. Ha!",QUAGMIRE_WHEAT_SEEDS = "I got no idea what they'd grow into.",--NOTE: raw/cooked carrot uses regular carrot stringsQUAGMIRE_CARROT_SEEDS = "I got no idea what they'd grow into.",QUAGMIRE_ROTTEN_CROP = "I am not a good farmer.",QUAGMIRE_SALMON = "It ain't pink. It's salmon! Ha!",QUAGMIRE_SALMON_COOKED = "Fancy dining.",QUAGMIRE_CRABMEAT = "I get crabby when I'm hungry. Ha!",QUAGMIRE_CRABMEAT_COOKED = "It's a big lump of cooked crab.",QUAGMIRE_SUGARWOODTREE =GENERIC = "It's a big, pink tree.",STUMP = "That ain't growin' back.",TAPPED_EMPTY = "I wish trees leaked a little faster.",TAPPED_READY = "That bucket's practically overflowing!",TAPPED_BUGS = "It's a little buggy.",WOUNDED = "It's lost some of its color.",QUAGMIRE_SPOTSPICE_SHRUB =GENERIC = "Yeah, we could probably eat that.",PICKED = "It's got a weird texture.",QUAGMIRE_SPOTSPICE_SPRIG = "Tastes sorta like... pepper?",QUAGMIRE_SPOTSPICE_GROUND = "That should add some kick.",QUAGMIRE_SAPBUCKET = "Buckets. The most advanced farming technology.",QUAGMIRE_SAP = "Alright, it's pretty good.",QUAGMIRE_FERN = "Fresh roughage.",QUAGMIRE_FOLIAGE_COOKED = "Cooked roughage.",QUAGMIRE_SALT_RACK =READY = "Salt's ready for minin'.",GENERIC = "It needs a bit more time.",QUAGMIRE_SALT_RACK_ITEM = "Let's set'er up proper.",QUAGMIRE_SAFE =GENERIC = "Wouldn't mind a peek inside.",LOCKED = "My lockpicking skills are a bit rusty.",QUAGMIRE_KEY = "Hmmm... looks like the key to a safe.",QUAGMIRE_KEY_PARK = "It's a gate key.",QUAGMIRE_PORTAL_KEY = "Looks like it unlocks somethin' big.",QUAGMIRE_MUSHROOMSTUMP =GENERIC = "Well, they don't LOOK poisonous.",PICKED = "It's just a stump.",QUAGMIRE_MUSHROOMS = "Wouldn't mind popping these suckers into the pot.",QUAGMIRE_MEALINGSTONE = "Ah! A job that could use some elbow grease!",QUAGMIRE_PEBBLECRAB = "He ain't a threat to no one.",QUAGMIRE_POND_SALT = "It's a bit salty, hey?",QUAGMIRE_RUBBLE_CARRIAGE = "Never thought I'd say this, but it's beyond repair.",QUAGMIRE_RUBBLE_CLOCK = "Something muddled this clockwork real good.",QUAGMIRE_RUBBLE_CATHEDRAL = "Well I sure ain't goin' in it now.",QUAGMIRE_RUBBLE_PUBDOOR = "Even I can't fix it.",QUAGMIRE_RUBBLE_ROOF = "I've repaired roofs before but this is a lost cause.",QUAGMIRE_RUBBLE_CLOCKTOWER = "Looks like something destroyed it.",QUAGMIRE_RUBBLE_BIKE = "It's busted.",QUAGMIRE_RUBBLE_HOUSE = {"Something happened here.", "Ain't no one here anymore.", "Something busted this town.",},QUAGMIRE_RUBBLE_CHIMNEY = "It's broken. I can't fix it.",QUAGMIRE_RUBBLE_CHIMNEY2 = "Needs a lot more love than I got to give it.",QUAGMIRE_MERMHOUSE = "Zero form, zero function.",QUAGMIRE_SWAMPIG_HOUSE = "Plain shoddy worksmanship.",QUAGMIRE_SWAMPIG_HOUSE_RUBBLE = "It might have been a house, once.",QUAGMIRE_SWAMPIGELDER =GENERIC = "You're a big guy, hey?",SLEEPING = "Sleeping on the job.",QUAGMIRE_SWAMPIG = "They don't seem very afraid of people.",QUAGMIRE_PORTAL = "I might not be good at rescue missions.",QUAGMIRE_SALTROCK = "It's a big ol' eatin' rock.",QUAGMIRE_SALT = "But where's the pepper?",QUAGMIRE_FOOD_BURNT = "It's a little toastier than normal.",--QUAGMIRE_FOOD_PLATE = "It's a ceramic dish.",--QUAGMIRE_FOOD_BOWL = "Makes eatin' soup a lot easier.",--QUAGMIRE_FOOD_SOUP = "Warm soup. Nothin' better.",--QUAGMIRE_FOOD_SNACK = "A lip smackin' snack.",--QUAGMIRE_FOOD_BREAD = "Bread is the best foundation for every meal.",--QUAGMIRE_FOOD_PASTA = "Fancy pasta dish.",--QUAGMIRE_FOOD_VEGGIE = "Full o' veggies to make me big and strong.",--QUAGMIRE_FOOD_MEAT = "A hearty meat meal.",--QUAGMIRE_FOOD_FISH = "Still got that fish smell.",--QUAGMIRE_FOOD_CRAB = "Ohh... a fancy dish.",--QUAGMIRE_FOOD_CHEESE = "You gotta love cheese.",--QUAGMIRE_FOOD_SWEET = "Good for someone with a sweet tooth. Like me!",QUAGMIRE_FOOD =GENERIC = "Let's throw it up on that altar, hey?",MISMATCH = "Well this ain't right.",MATCH = "Perfect.",MATCH_BUT_SNACK = "It's the right food, but it don't look too filling.",QUAGMIRE_COIN1 = "A lucky coin.",QUAGMIRE_COIN2 = "Save this for a rainy day.",QUAGMIRE_COIN3 = "Gotta watch I don't turn into a rich dope.",QUAGMIRE_COIN4 = "We could bust outta here with enough of these.",QUAGMIRE_GOATMILK = "I try to support local artisans.",QUAGMIRE_SYRUP = "It's like honey from a tree.",QUAGMIRE_SAP_SPOILED = "It's no good now.",QUAGMIRE_SEEDPACKET = "Better than a market.",--QUAGMIRE_SEEDPACKET_SMALL = "I could start a small garden with this.",--QUAGMIRE_SEEDPACKET_MEDIUM = "A good start.",--QUAGMIRE_SEEDPACKET_LARGE = "Better than a market.",--QUAGMIRE_SEEDPACKET_MIX_SMALL = "There's a whole mix of seeds in here.",--QUAGMIRE_SEEDPACKET_MIX_MEDIUM = "Bunch o' different seeds.",--QUAGMIRE_SEEDPACKET_MIX_LARGE = "A lotta variety in here.",QUAGMIRE_OVEN_ITEM = "Welp. Another day, another project.",QUAGMIRE_OVEN = "It's a regular ol' oven.",QUAGMIRE_POT = "Could make a real big stew in that pot.",QUAGMIRE_POT_SMALL = "I only ever made stew before this.",QUAGMIRE_POT_SYRUP = "Syrup makes me sappy. Ha!",QUAGMIRE_POT_HANGER = "Needs a pot in there or somethin'.",QUAGMIRE_POT_HANGER_ITEM = "Ready for assembly.",QUAGMIRE_GRILL = "Time for a cookout!",QUAGMIRE_GRILL_ITEM = "I need to to find a firepit for this to work.",QUAGMIRE_GRILL_SMALL = "Big enough for a small cookout. ",QUAGMIRE_GRILL_SMALL_ITEM = "Now where can I put this...",QUAGMIRE_CASSEROLEDISH = "I'll need to bake it.",QUAGMIRE_CASSEROLEDISH_SMALL = "For making little stews and stuff.",QUAGMIRE_PLATE_SILVER = "Little too fancy for my tastes.",QUAGMIRE_BOWL_SILVER = "Fancy lookin' but it still just holds food.",QUAGMIRE_MERM_CART1 = "Anything good in there?", --sammy's wagonQUAGMIRE_MERM_CART2 = "It's full of stuff I could use.", --pipton's cartQUAGMIRE_PARK_ANGEL = "Gives me the heebie jeebies.",QUAGMIRE_PARK_ANGEL2 = "Kinda creepy.",QUAGMIRE_PARK_URN = "Oh well. Happens to the best of us.",QUAGMIRE_PARK_OBELISK = "Nice stonework.",QUAGMIRE_PARK_GATE =GENERIC = "Can't keep me outta nothing.",LOCKED = "Needs a key.",QUAGMIRE_PARKSPIKE = "Nice metalwork.",QUAGMIRE_CRABTRAP = "Here lil crabby crab.",QUAGMIRE_TRADER_MERM = "What'a ya got?",QUAGMIRE_TRADER_MERM2 = "Got anything good?",QUAGMIRE_GOATMUM = "Got anything for me?",QUAGMIRE_GOATKID = "What's goin' on, squirt?",QUAGMIRE_PIGEON =DEAD = "Dead as a doornail.",GENERIC = "You seen one, you seen'em all.",QUAGMIRE_LAMP_POST = "That'd be a street lamp. Yep.",QUAGMIRE_BEEFALO = "Take it easy. You don't looks so good.",QUAGMIRE_SLAUGHTERTOOL = "Not my kinda tool.",QUAGMIRE_SAPLING = "That's gone.",QUAGMIRE_BERRYBUSH = "Nothing in that bush anymore.",QUAGMIRE_ALTAR_STATUE2 = "I wonder who chiseled that.",QUAGMIRE_ALTAR_QUEEN = "Woo-wee. Impress-ive.",QUAGMIRE_ALTAR_BOLLARD = "Nice metalwork.",QUAGMIRE_ALTAR_IVY = "That stuff can ruin good architecture.",QUAGMIRE_LAMP_SHORT = "That's a light.",

[cheollies]

Temporary

a/n: tbh i don’t know why I wrote this: I remember reading a prompt that was talking about how what if one character lost their memories and forgot that they are dating the person they thought was an a**hole in school. 

more a/n: it’s almost midnight and I didn’t proof read so yeah 

Genre: mostly angst? i guess. sorry. 

Warnings: like one bad word and like one reference to sex

Jihoon saw it on the television, he heard it on the radio, it spammed his social media, he received text messages from shocked friends. The big car accident that caused a huge pile up at an intersection in the city. He knew the intersection, it was the one he’d go through to get to your work. Jihoon was uninterested in the news, the accident occurred in the middle of the day, surely you weren’t involved.

From: Jihoon

hey did you hear about the big crash, you’re going to have to take a different route home. bring food. (sent at 4:03pm)

He sat idly at home, twirling his cell for three hours, tv playing as background noise. Jihoon was waiting, he was waiting to hear the beep of the door, to maybe hear your voice laughing behind the door as you talked on the phone, to hear your annoyingly cute ‘aww did you wait for me’.

The television remained as the only light in the living room, it’s screen keeping Jihoon’s sleeping figure company. He laid crisscrossed on the floor, his body slumped over the short coffee table, buried his face in his arms with his hand tightly held onto his cell. His breath steady as he slept soundly, here and there he grunted out of uncomfortableness.

His phone vibrated, Jihoon jolted awake. A frightened tone slipping his mouth before he realized what it was. He noticed the time reflected on the screen: 12:19 am.

It was Soonyoung’s voice that had him panicing, that had his heart racing, his mind cursing at himself.

“It’s y/n, she was in the car accident. I guess she still had me as her emergency contact. She’s fine, don’t worry. Visiting hours are over so you can come tomorrow morning.”

Jihoon slept horribly that night. He tossed and turned, he flipped his pillow over fifteen times, he buried himself in his blanket then tossed it on the ground. He never realized how empty the bed felt without you in it.

Jihoon calculated it. If he drove leisurely, he could arrive at the hospital on time for visiting hours. But he knew with his anxious mind, he’d drive fast. So he distracted himself with coffee, breakfast, tv, social media, but in the end, he’d end up bouncing his legs, biting his lower lips as he bore a hole into the clock on the wall.

It was all white. The walls, the floor, the desk that hid the nurses, even the person leading him to the room was wearing white. He passed by other rooms in agony, apparently other victims of the crash were on the same floor, and he could hear families sobbing, people staring at the floor with dread. He wondered if he would be the same.

It was the moment of truth, he was in front of the door. Now all he had to do was open it. His hand was shaking as if he knew that behind the door was something he couldn’t handle. He imagined the worst, and for some reason it felt like it was the worse. Jihoon slid the door open.

What hit him first was something he did not expect, it confused him, it utterly made him muddled. You and Soonyoung were laughing, Soonyoung was sitting in a chair next to you, his whole body shaking with his loud voice. And you, you were doing the clap of yours like you usually did when you laughed hard. Your eyes gleamed with happiness, your lips tugged upwards, and Jihoon’s anxiousness slipped away. He was hearing your voice.

The laughter died down as Jihoon stepped into the room. He offered a warm smile towards you, it was his relief to see you. And he hugged you, like it was going to be his last hug, he hugged you with every sleepless minute he had the previous night. He pulled back, and he stared at you, at you who stared back with such blank eyes.

You opened your mouth, and he awaited you to say something, to probably nag him of the dark circles under his eyes, to ask him if he ate last night, to complain about his messy bed hair that he still donned.

And out of your mouth came, “What the fuck are you doing here.”

Jihoon could see you in between the slight opening of the closed curtains. You were eating a pudding cup but you were glaring at him through the crack, and he wanted to clench his jaw, to give out an exasperated laugh.

“Are you telling me she doesn’t remember anything. She still sees me as the jerk who ‘apparently’ stole the studio she was working in.” Jihoon wanted to laugh at the sentence that came from his mouth.

“Well you did steal it--”

“I did not steal it, if she wanted the studio in the first place then she was to put her name on the door. That was the rule!”

“No it wasn’t!!” You shouted from the other side of the curtain.

Soonyoung pushed Jihoon back from trying to remove the curtain to have the same conversation you two had had in front of your college music department after being kicked out for rowdiness.

“Look. The doctor says she’ll get her memories back, it just takes time. She’ll slowly regain them in no time.”

Jihoon sighs, seeing you give him an irritated face behind the curtains. His eye was already twitching from having to deal with a college you who hated his guts.

“You’ve got to be joking.” Your arms are crossed in front of your chest. Your facial expression shows disbelief at the news Soonyoung had broken to you, “He and I?” Soonyoung nods, “Dating?” He nods once more. You look at Jihoon who’s giving you a vexed look, “Stop lying.”

You were laughing, and it wasn’t funny laughter, no, your laughter was filled with annoyance. You couldn’t believe your eyes, in fact you were almost believing that you had a twin. In front of you, you were swiping the phone screen, pictures were displayed. You were looking at yourself and Jihoon, smiling, looking chummy sitting next to each other. You stopped at the pictures of your surprise kiss to Jihoon’s cheek, it was too lovey dovey for your current taste.

“I still don’t believe it.” You tossed the phone in front of you.

Jihoon held the bridge of his nose. He suddenly remembers just how stubborn you were before you two had started dating, “Whatever. I have your stuff, the doctor says we can discharge you. So let’s just go home.”

“Home?” You nearly shout.

Jihoon shoots Soonyoung a peeved expression when he hears Soonyoung whisper “oh no. don’t answer that.”

Jihoon huffs out a deep sigh, “We live together.”

Begrudgingly, after being politely rejected by both Soonyoung and your parents who visited and happily greeted Jihoon, you were sitting in the passenger seat of his vehicle. It was silent, awkward, and frankly weird on both of your parts. It was at a stop light that Jihoon finally sees you pull your phone out of one of the hospital bags. Your eyes squint at the screen that displayed a picture you had so forced Chan to take on your one year anniversary. Your eyes then crinkle confused at the surprise keypad that showed up.

Your eyes quickly glance at Jihoon. He knew your stubbornness would cause you to refuse to ask for help. The light turns green, Jihoon clenches onto the steering wheel tightly, “0-1-2-8. That’s the password. It’s the day we started dating.”

It was unfamiliar to you, everything in the small apartment was vaguely things you could tell was your taste, the photos set around were clearly you but it didn’t feel like you. It was unfamiliar to Jihoon, this was you. You were standing in front of him, but it wasn’t the current you. It was the you from three years ago, the you who was insecure and stubborn, who was scared but didn’t want to show it.

“I talked to your workplace. They’re going to give you some time off to recover. Um..” Jihoon felt as though he was rooming with a stranger, “the bathroom’s down the hall to the left, and the bedroom is on the right. We only have one room since we slept together but I guess I can sleep on the couch.”

You were silent and when you were silent, Jihoon knew that meant you were scared. He didn’t know how to comfort you, he couldn’t do his usual things. He couldn’t sing to you as it would be too weird. He couldn’t hug you, it would definitely result in him being hit in places. He couldn’t talk to you, you would never open up to him in your current mental state. So he did what he could think of.

You smelled the food from the bedroom, you followed the smell to where Jihoon was. His legs crossed as he sat on the floor, the coffee table overflowing with food obviously delivered. Jihoon had just started eating when you showed yourself.

“Eat.” He spoke silently.

He watched you munch on the foods. Your expressions were the same as the time he had first ordered from the restaurant. Your eyes widened with each new thing in your mouth, and your lips slowly curled at the wonderful flavors sitting on your tongue. He couldn’t help it, Jihoon broke in a small laugh.

“What.” You spoke with a mouthful.

Jihoon shakes his head, “Nothing.”

“You’re laughing at me aren’t you! I’m hungry okay!” Bits of rice flew out as you spoke.

Jihoon calmed, a melancholy smile on his lips, “You just, you just looked the same as before. This is actually your favorite place to eat. You always order the same thing, the restaurant knows our number by memory because you call a lot.” The atmosphere of the room suddenly dropped. The rest of the meal was eaten in silence.

The night was cold. Jihoon finally falls asleep, exhausted from the day's events, feeling reassured that you were resting in the room just next over. You on the other hand, shifted, tossed, and turned, stared at the ceiling. Everything was distantly familiar. The softness of the blankets brought an eerie feeling, the pictures brought puzzle pieces of memories that just didn’t fit together, the bathroom filled with a cologne scent that made your body shiver at the pleasant smell you don’t recall ever knowing before.

It was freezing when you had awoken. The coldness made your fingers ache to move, you curled into a ball under the blanket, you breathed into your hands for warmth, and just as you were going to fall back asleep, you heard laughter. A smile appeared quickly as you yanked the blanket off. Your shoulders shivered while you quickly pulled a hoodie from the closet over your body.

“Hannie~~” You nearly jumped on the man who sat at the counter.

Jeonghan grinned, “Y/N~~”

“Oh my god” you looked at him in shock, “You dyed your hair blonde and you cut it. And you even got more handsome, woah, I didn’t think that could happen.” you poke at him teasingly.

Jeonghan provides you with a model pose, boasting about himself for a good minute. Jihoon snorts from the other side of the counter. Almost in unison, you and Jeonghan shoot him an irritated expression.

Jihoon sips from his mug, “Nice hoodie.”

Your fingers clench around the end of the arm sleeve, the fabric is soft against your skin as it falls just below your bottom, the scent is of the same cologne from the bathroom.

“Thanks.” You say skeptically.

Jihoon brings the mug to his lips again, “it’s the one you always wear post-sex.”

Jeonghan chokes on his coffee, the liquid being spat from his mouth in the process and your face flushes red, the tips of your ears burning. Jihoon watches in amusement as you toddle down the hall to get changed.

Jeonghan recovers from his little accident, “Jealous much?”

Jihoon shrugs, “Just trying to help her regain her memories.”

He’s losing hope. It’s been over a month since you’ve been discharged. Bits of memories have been recovered, like work friends, or frequent visits to the cafe across the street. But Jihoon’s beginning to lose hope on his relationship.

Jihoon watches you from the other side of the couch. Your eyes remain fixed on the television that displays the drama you and him were suppose to be caught up on a prior to the accident. You can feel his staring, you pretend to be interest in the drama. Instead your thoughts drift to the pictures displayed below the tv. You’ve realized how different this Jihoon was, he seemed somewhat kinder, he seemed to know so many things about you that you never would have guessed you’d share with him. And for some reason, you feel guilty, guilty that it seems like you robbed him of someone else.

“Y/n.” You hum in response to him. You can feel the couch cushions shifting, “Y/n.” You hum once more, you can feel him next to you, “Y/n.”

“What.”

You finally turn to look at him, what you expect is to see Jihoon scowling at you but what you receive is his soft lips on yours, he’s pushing in, holding you closely. You pull back, a sharp hand planted on his cheek.

It’s quiet. A commercial ad plays in the back. You’re shocked, not at the kiss, but at your hand that had slapped his face.

“Jihoon.” Your voice is shaking, “I really didn’t mean to.”

An airy laugh leaves his mouth. He looks at you, “I’m fine.” he didn’t look fine to you, his lips were almost quivering, his eyes shimmering just like how water reflected in the sun, he was smiling and yet you knew that he really wasn’t, “that meant nothing to you? You didn’t feel anything? You know the first time I kissed you, i thought I was going to die. We went on five dates and our first kiss wasn’t even an official one, Soonyoung thought it would be funny to make us kiss by having us play the pocky game then pushing me during it.” Jihoon painly looks at you, “nothing?”

It falls silence once again.

“It’s late, we should go to bed.” He says it coldly, shutting the television, laying himself down onto the couch and burying himself into it. You’re left sitting on the edge of the couch in darkness, the outline of his figure barely made out.

Just like the first night back, you shift in various positions, you toss and turn, and you stare at the ceiling. His expression sticks in your mind, how desperate he looked, how it looked as though he begged that he needed you.

Jihoon stirs in the middle of his sleep, he’s feeling the couch cushions move, an extra weight being pushed on. He sees a figure, and he’s about to shout.

“Jihoon.”

“Y/n?” Jihoon sighs, “God I was going to hit you. What are you doing.”

He’s turned on a nearby lamp, your face has softened, it’s different from how you’ve been. Jihoon’s using his forearms to prop himself up. And he feels your touch on his cheek, your palms warmly touching him, your fingers trailing to his hair, tickling the tip of his ear.

“I missed you Woozi.”

Woozi. Jihoon’s breath hitches. Only you would call him that. It was a term to annoy him at first, but suddenly it switched to an endearment term you would use occasionally. And now, in the middle of the night, you’ve spoken one word that’s changed the pace of his heart.

“Aw he looks so much happier.” Jeonghan coos at Jihoon who's moved a stray of your hair from your face.

Soonyoung grins, “It’s like watching one of those sickly loving movie.”

Jihoon rolls his eyes, “I don’t remember inviting you two over for breakfast.”

“It’s okay. They’re just visiting me.” You place a hand on his chest to reassure him, “I’ll see you after work.”

Jihoon nods, “I’ll see you after.” Jihoon glares at the smiling boys in front of him, “You two better be gone when I get home or else.”

The door closes behind Jihoon, and all held breaths in the home are let out. The air is thick, eyes of sorrow are passed around the room. The boys fiddle with their clothing, not knowing how to begin the next conversation, “Do you really want to do this. Lie to him about regaining your memories?”

“It’s only temporary.” You look at the uneasy boys, “So. Let’s start from the beginning, when did we start dating.”

[satireknight]

TMNT S02E012 - The Catwoman from Channel 6

No, no jokes about Batman’s love interest. That is low-hanging fruit I choose not to pick. Probably. Maybe.

Splinter is trying to meditate, but is constantly distracted by the sound of the monster movies the Turtles are watching.

Splinter drops in to say that too much TV rots the mind and promotes violence.... so he says to the ninjas on a cartoon TV show. I can’t tell if the show is being ironically meta or not.

Meanwhile, Shredder has Rocksteady and Bebop standing on a transporter.

Yes, they call it a matter transporter, but I’m expecting someone to say “energize.” To demonstrate what it can do, he transports Rocksteady and Bebop straight to the city dump, where they are flushed down a giant pipe into the sewers... which is not how that system works, I think.

But guess where they pop up.

Unsurprisingly a fight breaks out immediately, with Rocksteady and Bebop trashing the place, including the TV set.

Shredder decides it’s time to teleport them back just then, as an orange cat comes in looking for head scritches and crawls all over the control panel. 

Rocksteady and Bebop are zapped back to where Shredder is, and the Turtles are left confused but relieved. Fortunately Bebop and Rocksteady have no idea how to backtrack to the Turtles’ lair, because they have six brain cells apiece.

The Turtles seem a little more concerned with the fact that their TV has been smashed, so they call April and tell her that they have an emergency, and that they need her to bring a spare TV set.

Splinter also fills her in on the fight with Bebop and Rocksteady, and she finds a carton of Chinese food from Woo’s Oriental Palace that one of the goons left behind. Apparnelty the idea of letting her go there alone is enough to stir the Turtles from their TV-induced fixation, because “That place is really bad!” “And the food is even worse.”

Woo’s turns out to be a restaurant almost entirely populated by Asian stereotypes of one flavor or another.

They also don’t take to April announcing she’s a TV reporter, so she lies and says she’s a food critic instead. They might hate her even more for that. She asks Woo if he has served two customers who look like a rhino and a warthog, and he unsurprisingly does remember such individuals. Methinks they would stick in your mind. He tells her where the food went to, and she heads off to an empty building at the end of the pier.

April finds the matter transporter immediately, and starts snapping photos.

Just then the orange cat comes in, steps on some buttons, and then scampers onto the transporter pad.

April feels really weird afterwards, and is horrified that her nails are just as pointy and claw-like as they were before.

She heads home and encounters Irma, while surrounded by a small herd of cats. She’s already acting weird, vocalizing a bit like a cat and referring to Irma as a human. And after Irma leaves, she decides to lap up some milk.

The Turtles, meanwhile, have also gone to Woo’s, and the mere sight of them is enough to inspire a fight with the patrons. 

April is still acting weird, and Irma is starting to clue in that there is something odd going on with her.

April blurts out a heavily truncated version of what happened to her, just as she fully transforms into a cat mutant.

Now she wants to go back to the transporter and somehow reverse what happened. Irma tries to stop her from leaving, but she just jumps out the nearest window.

Fortunately Irma finds her Turtle Com nearly, and is able to contact the Turtles, who unsurprisingly have zero idea who she is, but agree to meet her anyway. Also, that whole visit of theirs to Woo’s was just an excuse for a fight scene.

April gets back into the room with the transporter, but Shredder and his mutants have since returned.

Fortunately for him, Shredder happens to have a cage directly over where she’s standing. 

Meanwhile, Irma meets up with the Turtles, who are employing their usual trenchcoat disguises.

April seems to have gotten kinda muddle-brained from the whole mutation thing, but then Rocksteady plops a mind-control collar on her, which makes it all even worse.

Which raises the question: if that works on a cat-person, would it work on a regular person? The possibilities of this device are not being fully explored,  my friend. 

Anyway, he sends her after Splinter, and she decides to bring a tiger along for good measure. Or rather, she lets it wander off and corner the Turtles in an alley, prompting Donatello to ask, “April, is that you?” He must think she’s incredibly mad at them for the TV thing. The tiger tries to pounce on them, and nearly gets Donatello before he gets hoisted onto the fire escape.

And as if the theme of this episode wasn’t evident, look at the pillows and wall art.

Meanwhile, Splinter is wondering where the Turtles have gotten to when he sees the shadow of a cat on the wall, and freaks out.

He lets slip that he’s apparently afraid of cats, presumably because of the whole rat thing, but not necessarily. He’s trying to meditate away his nerves when the tiger and a mutated April appear... so I’m guessing, not successful. Actually, this is probably the kind of thing he has nightmares about.

The Turtles and Irma, meanwhile, are searching for the cat that was on the pad with April.... so it should take them a few decades to locate one stray cat. Raphael even points out how ridiculously against them the odds are.

Fortunately the cat finds them, and while it snuggles him, Donatello asks again, “Is that you, April?” Donatello, there was already a cat involved in all this. Try to keep up. And on the desperate-for-female-attention kick, Raphael seems oddly pissed when Donatello says that this proves he’s April’s favorite.

Splinter calls them just long enough to say he needs help, and Irma comments that the name “Splinter” sounds “cute.” Sigh. We almost made it through an episode without Irma being sad.

Splinter tries to talk April down, but the collar is affecting her mind.

Leonardo seems to have slightly better luck getting through to her, but the collar reasserts itself and causes her to start attacking Splinter once again. Leonardo dashes forward and cuts the collar right off.

Which, unfortunately, doesn’t deal with the tiger who seems to be in a perpetual state of pissiness. Fortunately, Michelangelo just happens to have a robot mouse on his person (why?) and manages to redirect the tiger into a nearby cage. Great, but how will the zoo authorities get it back without finding their lair?

The whole matter transporter plot thread needs to be tied up, so Rocksteady and Bebop chase a mouse onto it, lightly strike the pad and cause the entire machine to explode. Damn, Dimension X tech is fragile.

Meanwhile, April has just... sort of gone back to normal. Yeah, the Turtles don’t have to do anything to restore her to her human form; she just gets over it. This is the biggest disappointment in the episode, IMHO, because it feels like a cop out. Much is made of how she has to reverse the transformation, but it turns out she just needed to sit in her apartment and eat tuna for a weekend.

Irma then shows up... don’t ask me how she knew where their lair was... because hse’s convinced herself that Splinter is her dream man. Amazingly, Splinter is NOT having a complete nervous breakdown over the events of the last day, and comes in just in time to horrify her.

VERDICT:

This one gets a stamp of “okay.” It might have ranked a little higher if the resolution of April’s whole catness hadn’t been resolved with “She got over it, end of story.” But the fact that the main problem of the plot was handled so limply just left a bad taste in my mouth.

Is this the second episode to make reference to The Fly?

Actually, there are a few elements of the story that feel like they were never really dealt with. For instance, the Turtles’ fixation on their monster movies felt a little artificial, since they didn’t seem to care that their secret home had been invaded so much as that their TV was smashed. And it just sort of petered out, since they stop watching TV and never start again.

Admittedly it was interesting to see Irma interacting with the Turtles, since she’s been talking about them for several episodes (first with disbelief and then with increasing interest). She’s a very different character from April, so it was interesting to see a different dynamic there.

Grade: C