#i don’t support polyamory or poly ppl generally

[polyamoryfacts]

Me and my wife r poly since even before marriage, more than 9 years ago. However we live in a very strict country with no support to any sexual freedom. LGBTQ ppl here r prisoned or even hanged. Sometimes we find other ppl that we can date separately or together but they r rare and often leave coz they feel they r doing something wrong dating someone who is married even though they know that the other spouse knows and ok with it “sometimes this fact gross them out, they only understand cheating ”. It’s very hard also lacking understanding friends or support of any sort. Judgmental ppl are the norm. Which push us to live in secret and have kind of a double life.

I’m not sure if these r normal polyamorous problems ppl face in the west? Do u have any tips or ideas to help us feel less rejected because of the lifestyle we chose? We both believe that we can’t have all our needs met from one person only

I am so sorry to hear about your situation and the situation of my fellow queer people in your country :(

"The West" is a broad place. I can tell you that here in Germany, polyamorous people are not in danger of capital punishment or lynching. Polyamory is gaining broader acceptance among younger people, I believe - I recently spoke to a 19 year old who actually knew the term, which would have been very unlikely, say, 15 years ago.

My own experience with discrimination against polyamory is limited because polyamory and queerness is quite common among my friends to the point that, say, birthday party invitations usually include a line to the tune of "please tell how many +1 you will bring" or something to that extent. Now, these are mostly people who are university educated and native or passing for it. So not representative for the general population of this one country, even.

I can definitely tell that there are circles of people here who are very accepting. Whether it is feasible for you to find this in your country, I don't know.

If it is possible for you, look up resources for queer people living in conservative countries. I believe that you broadly speaking face the same level and manner of persecution. (If you don't have uncensored access to the Internet, you may want to use a VPN).

If possible, find a community. I wouldn't even know where to start looking in the situation you describe :( normally, I would say, seek out “alternative” or queer people, but if you cannot do so without danger to yourself, this is moot.

Maybe you could have some rituals or symbols known only to you and your partner through which you can affirm each other. For example, you could both wear a ring that you both decide stands for your polyamorous desires. Or a pin or something. If someone asks, just say it's a cute partner thing.

I will wish to you what I once wished for a gay guy from Iran who tried to kiss me in a Berlin hostel: may you find what you seek.

If you can do so, protect my people for me.

Congratulations on your long marriage despite the adversities! I hope other people have more to say in the comments.

[ghxstpxsting]

can i ask for a match up? c: im a bi, poly nb comic artist (& autistic af lmao), 5'2, brown shoulder-long hair (quite damaged for anxiety reasons) if i could id wear suits every day but for now i settle for hoodies and band shirts. i live for physical affection as i don't get it often kfgkh. i love bugs, animation & i play guitar. i speak english, polish, some spanish & i want to learn latin (for my comic about afterlife). i avoid ppl when i'm overwhelmed. also horny on main 24/7 lol. thank u :D

Hi there anon! I match you with...

Aether!!

This guy LIVES for comfortable clothing, and will happily take you out to stores to look for band shirts! What’s better than two music lovers exploring stores and finding treasures? He’ll make sure to note down which textures are a no-no, so he can pick out suitable ones for you to try, and he’ll be careful to take you out with him during the less busy hours of the day so the stores aren’t too crowded. Beef is very cuddly, so you’ll get plenty of hugs and kisses from him! He’ll always check your boundaries first because he would never want to make you uncomfortable (he’s an absolute sweetheart). He’s not massively arty himself, but he’d love to see your animations and comics- he’s very supportive! He’s decent at languages, given he speaks English, Latin and Ghoulish, so he’d probably enjoy learning from you (and with you!). Don’t tell him you’re horny on main though, because that will certainly be on his mind a lot 👀🤭😂 Although ghouls can and will often have relationships with just one S/O on earth, it is actually just as common to have more than one partner in Hell! He wouldn’t mind if you had another partner, as that’s pretty normal where he’s from (especially if he gets more people to love too, he’s got a big heart after all ♥️).

Hello anon! I hope this was okay for you! I just wanted to say that I am also autistic, so though I wrote quite generally about some of the experiences (texture, boundaries, crowds) I’m aware that it’s not a one-size-fits-all situation! I hope my depiction was okay for you regardless! I’m also quite unfamiliar with polyamory, so I hope the way I wrote about it was okay and inoffensive. Let me know if there’s anything I can improve on! ♥️