#i dont just make these guys for funsies I promise they get a place in the world

[boyybites]

Some more ladies to add to my collection.

[cata-linaa]

hello hello!! my “haikyuu facts” post got WAY more notes than i expected since i wrote it in the parking lot of a wendy’s , and thank you so much! Anyway, I think Oikawa slander is my favorite thing (the jokes just write themselves, it’s so easy i dont even know how to beat around the bush about it it’s RIGHT THERE-) but yes, I do know he’s a complex character this is just for funsies ok  I try to be nice when writing him I promise. This is my first actual written out thing, so bear with me :)

Characters: Oikawa w a dash of Seijoh

Pairing: Milkbread and you 

Word Count: Enough

Grammar: All over the place, no editing, just shit out some content, the more I look at it the more i cringe so I might come back to edit it in the future. 

Tooru Oikawa is completely and hopelessly tone deaf. 

i just KNOW this mf cannot sing

you stans give him a little too much credit sometimes, seijoh is NOT a boy band

but he does all the time anyway

the funniest thing, though, was that iwa actually let him think he was good up until about his first year of high school

it’s not that he thought it was funny, that would be mean.... (but seriously, it’s just that he would say something about his voice being shitty, and he would just refute with the notion that “you’re just jealous of me hehe” so he let it go because he was sick of having the same argument every day)

and oikawa’s family was just like “oh 😬... uh, good job honey...” because he’s a kid what are you gonna say LMAO-

however, several years later when he decided to serenade the team on the bus ride to a tournament, makki and mattsun changed that opinion real quick

man couldn’t BREATHE that whole week without someone laughing about it and doing an impression of the voice cracks galore that occurred 

his voice is very nasally and off key, super loud and yikes 

very theatre kid who never got told he wasn’t the broadway-bound baby he thought he was and was in fact, just over-annunciating and screlting (if you don’t know what this means i am so jealous of you)

he’s so annoying and i hate him/hj

but you don’t seem to mind, do you?

You squinted as the sun peeked through the blinds as you woke up, tangling yourself further in several blankets after shivering from the AC unit going at full blast from across the room. Wait. I turn off the air conditioning at night, and these aren’t my blankets! And this is definitely NOT my hoodie! Glancing down at the fluffy white duvet, that was not the one you had at home. And you definitely did not play Argentinian volleyball, much less buy official team merchandise. Looking around further, you realized where you were. 

You had spent the night over your new boyfriend Tooru’s house for the first time, since the movie you guys had watched ended too late, and you had missed the last train home. Tooru had started another one, but all you remember is the opening credits. Guess I fell asleep? You thought, but where is Tooru now? 

“AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHIIIIEIEEIEIIIIIIIIIIIIIII” You got up with a start. What was that? Tooru? It didn’t sound good. Hopefully, he wasn’t hurt. His knee had been bothering him lately, and he did have a big game coming up. Throwing off the blankets, you ran to the source of the horrible scream. Panting, you scrambled to open the door and got to the kitchen. 

Tooru had his earbuds in, and he was frying eggs on the stovetop, no injury in sight. You look around concerned, wondering why he would make such a sound and then, it clicked when he opened his mouth once more.

This fucking idiot. 

“AAND I’LL ALWAYSZZZSS LOVE-” He took a deep inhale, but you yank the headphones out before he could even try to hit that note.

“Oh hey! Look who’s awake-” He tried to reach down to boop your nose, but you were not having it this morning. 

“Tooru! I thought you were hurt! This is your SINGING?!” You had never heard him sing before, but now that you have, you kind of didn’t want to anymore. He scoffed.

“I happen to be a very good singer, thank you.” You rolled your eyes at your ridiculous boyfriend. He’s certainly a lot, but you guessed breakfast could make up for it. He unplugged his earbuds and cranked the volume up on his phone. 

“You know the words, Prince(ss)*, sing with me!” 

“No.”

“You know you want to, here.” He reached out for your hand, with Whitney playing in the background. You laughed and took it, and his heart melted a little. This was so, so dumb, but what the hell.

 It was an awkward kind of swaying, as the song was slow but also so passionately singable. Simultaneously to the half-dance, half karaoke Tooru was putting his hand to his heart and just letting out those notes, however off-key he was, the attempt was there. With each passionate screlt, he pulled you towards him, as you were also holding the hands he was wildly pointing and gesturing around. Soon, the worried and disgruntled look disappeared from your face and was replaced with a smile, and maybe you sang along too. 

The rest of your morning was spent with sleepy giggles and loud singing, and he did burn those eggs, but he took you out to get something to make it up, singing the whole way to the coffee shop, ignoring the odd looks from strangers, because he did have tomorrow to wake you up to breakfast and a song, if you were willing to stay.

Needless to say, you heard a lot more of that awful for years to come, and honestly? you wouldn’t trade it for the smoothest and most beautiful of voices, because it was his, and he was yours. 

*pet names like “princess” or “bubs” or whatever make me physically recoil and want to throw up and  i apologize for using it because it made me cringe and it might make you cringe too, but i just know he would call his s/o some bullshit corny ass name like that. 

i really hope i got that characterization right, anyways, i’ll hopefully improve with more practice, and as of Jan 2021, requests are OPEN!