#i dont like theatres idk they creep me out

[daydreamertrait]

i agreed to go to the movies tomorrow with my friend to watch a horror movie but if there’s one thing i hate more than going to the movies it’s watching horror movies

[twntyfiveotwo]

everyone told me it was just a phase when i told them i missed you

but it's been a year. it's been a whole fking year. i tried so hard to persuade myself that it was only a process of grief - granted, because i know i can't keep you around as a friend when my feelings to you are more than friends. is it really? do grief processes take so long to get over? cause im tired. im tired of missing you, im tired of wanting you back, im tired of wanting to be her. heck, tbh i dont even want to be her lmao. if it wasnt for the fact that she's the one by your side, she's not one of those girls i inspire to be like. honestly, this is not coming from a place of hate because i find her really gorgeous physically, and i am sure she is happy/proud of the person she is. we're just different, and we have different tastes in the things we enjoy or like. that's it. at this point i dont even relate to the song "heather" anymore. i dont want to be fking heather. all i want is to be loved by you. but that is just a want, and santa claus dont exist in real life, am i right.

it's going to be 2024 in a few days. and im done. i dont wanna miss you anymore. im going to push myself into acceptance that this friendship is over whether either of us wants it or not. "i wish nothing changes between us". ha, how selfish of you to ask that from me knowing FULL WELL i've always loved you. or maybe you didnt know because i was jumping in and out of relationships non stop. trying to fill a void inside. but you knew at one point that i did love you, and maybe you didn't love me. or maybe you did but you never had the courage back then. but does the truth matter? no. because whatever the truth was back then, that truth stays there. and the present truth is that we are both in our own long term relationships, we have found our own persons. i wont even doubt, i really think she deserves you much more than me. pft, i dont mean it in the altruistic way because i'm no longer the same person as i was in the past who is always trying to be morally "right". idw to pretend and shower her w praises because i've finally learnt to be honest w myself. i dont give no fks about her. no disrespect but idk her. all i care about is you. and the only reason why i no longer talk to you is because i respect YOUR rs, and i dont want to cause you unnecessary stress.

at the same time, it also took me years to realise i've always loved you. i constantly tried to ignore the tingling feeling in my stomach everytime we met up as friends even when i was attached in the past. i still remember, i got together w my first boyfriend on my bus trip home after you rejected my confession. and then since then, i was just constantly jumping in and out of relationships/situationships. and always talking to you when i get my heart broken, drinking my butt off. where did you even get the patience to deal w my bullshit all the fking time. i got to say hats off to you. ha... but it doesnt matter anymore.

you know what made me realised that i miss you and not the memories we shared? because i actually dont have any vivid memories of us in my head anymore. it's all blurred. i remember crashing your house, i remember us watching a horror movie in the theatres together, i remember you calling me out for being plain stupid. but they're just sweeping memories, i can't remember any specific actions or a specific memory of us. what i do remember, is how safe i feel with you. how gentle you always were with me. how the people around me pointed out that it was the first time they saw me looking happy after my depression. i meant it when i said you felt like home to me. because i cant forget this feeling, and i cant seem to find this feeling w anyone else. but HA darling boy, you're someone else's home now. and i wish you happiness. but i also want you out of my mind. im sick of you creeping into my head when i have nothing to keep me busy. and i mean even on days when im busy and there are pockets of free time you would pop up too. it's draining, it's exhausting, knowing full well you appearing in my mind or my dreams doesn't mean that i get to see you irl. i had this insane thought whereby i would camp at your house void deck to see a hint of you before 2023 ends. but i think i would save myself from the embarrassment of acting like a stalking creepo. i want to let you go, i want to let you out. not for you, but for myself. because this is plain torture. because you living in my head rent free throughout 2023 has been causing me constant pain. im always upset. and ive been hurting innocent people over it. it's not fair for me, it's not fair for them. i want to breathe, i want to sleep at night in peace. i dont want to pray in desperation before my sleep wishing that you would appear in my dream, when there is a lucky girl out there who is sleeping with you right next to her. pls just go, pls be gone. let 2023 mark the end of our long, bittersweet friendship.

thank you for teaching me to never be self-deprecating to myself.

thank you for making me feel loved even if you never really did love me.

thank you for always being there.

"hey now" always sounded so gentle when it came from you, i will be forgetting those words and how they felt for me.

i will stop looking for shadows of you in every song i listen, every game i play or every place i visit.

we had 6 years of memories.... it wont be easy but i will try to not think about you.

you were my finest scenary, my home. but it's time i move on and live a life of my own without your shadow.

i loved you, always did, but i hope not anymore.

i will try to stop loving you from now. may you always stay loved by someone else.

and i know you would continue to stay the happiest, even without me around. because you've got her now.

farewell, always.

[bangtansfavwriter]

📖✏bangtan as college students: hobi✏📖

(this lowkey turned into a fic)

-a jock, but the loveable kind

- the guy you see going for a run before class at 7 am while you've contemplated dropping out like thrice in the morning when your bus was late again

-everyone loves him, has always a whole pack of people around him

-chills with literally every group on campus, from jocks to goths

-never judgemental, but will end you if you fuck over one of his friends, rumour has it that he had a guy transfer to another uni after the guy tried to diss a freshman boy [hint: OJO] hobi took under his wing

-no one actually knows the whole story except the campus' gossip king jimin

-he's a dance instructor at the campus dance lessons which would be in the theatre building, which has glass walls and you'd know he is inside when you couldn't even see the glass walls anymore bc of the masses of people who'd watch him from outside

-one day you'd help out a friend who volunteered to help out at the uni dance off

-you would have considered twice if you'd know how many people there were, you were pretty sure that 80% of the people were there for hoseok

-you never actually talked to him but you kinda found a liking in him bc he was genuinely friendly to everyone and he was insanely humble about his dancing skills..... ok, you may have watched him dance a few times.. ok, you were actually quite a fan of him, let's not lie here

- so the battle started and you and your friend would be at the sidelines, watching (volunteers got front row seats)

- and you were so fascinated at how swiftly he moved and how easy he made it look to dance... he was absolutely amazing and people loudly cheered for him, rightfully so

- but suddenly he tripped BUT ! HE ! SAVED IT! nonetheless!

-with a swift move he did , he made a turn and continued with his dance routine but you saw him too often to not notice that he became a bit .. slower and it made you worry

- but he still nailed every move and afterwards he went towards the changing room while loud cheers went through the hall

-you went after him, and called for him before he entered the changing room

-he was slightly taken aback and looked at you quizzically

- him: .. you??

You : ??????? you know me ???

Him: yeah ... no *scratches his head shyly*

- you were trying really hard not to freak out, bc the actual reason you stopped him was to ask if he was ok bc it looked like he hurt his ankle but know it seems the campus idol and local dancing king knows u (!!!)

- he was really surprised and touched when u asked him if he was ok

- "oh it's nothing really, it hurt for a few seconds but it went over pretty quickly, thank you so much for asking, that's really kind of you... I always thought you're a kind person", he said and became shy again. "I'm gonna ask again..." you said, equally shy all of a sudden: "do you know me?". - "I don't actually know you, but I see you very often, when I go for a run. You like sit by a bench near the bridge, right? ". You just looked at him wide-eyed. "How did you know...?" you laughed, which made him smile, too. Your regular spot by the bridge was your place to go whenever life was getting messy for you and you needed to retreat. "I must sound like a creep", he said jokingly, but he did actually fear that he might come off as weird. But you reassured him he didn't and he told you the rest of the story. " I dont know if you remember.. but it was in my 2nd year or so.. so it was your freshman year, I'm guessing?" He was right, and you tried to remember your first year, trying really hard to meeting the jung hoseok.. "oh my god... I think I remember? did cheer on you on one of your runs?? That was you, wasn't it?" He started laughing and nodded enthusiastically: "yes that was me! you started cheering on when I ran by the bridge! And that happened when I had a really shitty day, actually. It meant so much to me... I'm so happy we're talking now.. I never had the courage to talk to you, idk why.. so , I'm happy now."

- both of you just grinned from one ear to the other and you couldn't believe that he too was obviously dying to speak to you somehow, but you both just ended .. longing

- "I'm happy,too" you said, feeling giddy with every second he smiled at you so radiantly

- "that makes me even happier" he said and chuckled.. "now.. I have to ask.. would you like to grab a coffee sometimes?"

[trailerparkflower]

Borderline personality disorder + Steve Harrington?...

So I was thinking about how Steve acts in relationships, researched dependency from the partner and then found a lot of info about BPD, wich made me think what many of the disorder symptoms are very fitting to Steve and explains some things in his behaviour. Lets starts, guys!

Promiscuity.

All his teen life Steve been slutting around probably too scared for serious relationships (because its better that way, no one will leave him if he leaves them first), all charming and needy and touch-starved, calming down his desire for attention and affection. 

Unstable relationships/idealization of the partner, lack of boundares.

Then he settled in the realationships with Nancy (who are brave and smart and oh, so stable), which turned out pretty much unhealthy from both of the sides, and Steve became so depended on his her to the point of breaking up his bounds with everyone else( including his probably childhood best friend Tommy) except her and planning all his life to revolve around Nancy.

Fear of abandoment, frantic efforts to avoid being alone.

He fears what Nancy will abandon him so much what he becomes even more clingy and needy, while she gains even more control in relationships and becomes a “top dog” (from Joe words). In ST1 we also see how insecure and  jealous Steve was to Jonathan, his dramatic reaction on John and Nacny hug, jumping in conclusions without any evidences. He even breaks Jonathan camera in the begining just out of his “insecurity” (again, based on Joe interview), fear what Nancy and Jonathan have better understanding of each other. In other words, he afraid what Nacny will leave him for someone else and he will stay alone again. Steve Harrington canonically has big abandoment issues, probably cased by neglecting parents.

Needing attention+validation

Idk if I even should comment it. We all know what King Steve persona was build for getting attention, admiration and validation from others, know how much time Steve spends on his looks and hair, how pleased he is when Tommy and Carol have all eyes on him. When he doesnt get compliments from Nancy, he pouts and praises himself on his own because he needs that.... “see, a ninja”; “make sure you wont forget this pretty face”, ect. You ask me, Steve has the biggest praise kink in all Hawkins.

Inability to regulate emotion, difficultes with anger controlling. Impulsivity.

Steve is one yelling bitch. He is a soft boy, but when he gets really upset and angry, he becomes mean and yelly and acts without thinking. He tears apart his own essay because Nancy couldnt help him with it, he pouts, storms of the rooms, screams at people. 

Getting upset easily + habit of blocking out intense painful emotions.

If you ask Steve how he doing, he probably will smile and say “peachy!”. Not because everything is really peachy, but because Steve prefers to ignore his own problems and things what makes him sad and pretend what everything is perfectly alright. He asks Nancy go to the movie and “pretend everything is normal for a few hours.”, says what his parents totally gave him hell for drinking beer but “who cares, screw them” and changes the theme. Tommy screams “run away, Stevie boy, like you always do!”, wich suggest us what Steve has a tendentions to avoid confrontations and stressful situations. He once again says Nancy go to the party and pretend to be normal teens in ST2 when she voices her concerns, and we see what ignoring problems and pretending is Steves constant coping mechanism for stress fear and sadness.

Distorted self-image.

Steves sense of self also seems to be instable and based on how people around him see him, like with Tommy he was a school bad boy, with Nancy he became a good guy, with Dustin he became a total soft dork as we see in ST3 trailer. He is unsure about his own goals, he doesnt knows who he is and who he wants to be, like wich job he prefers and what he likes to do in his life generally. Tending to base his own self on his relationships with other people, he gets complitely lost in the end of ST2 when Nancy is no longer with him.

Self-harm, self-desctuctive behaviour. Self damaging acts as drinking, drugs, vandalism.

Steve smokes, drinks, gets into the fights he cant win. Stands near Tommy when he writes about Nancy the slut and Jonathan the creep, runs away from cops. I would even say what his fight with Jonathan was quite maschostic, because Steve rilled him up and then barely protected himself and almost didnt resisted when Jonathan pushed him to the ground and started to punch non stop. Tbh for me it seemed like if Steve was so upset what he wanted some physical pain to blur his emotional one.

Dissociation, "zoning out"

Sometimes if you pay enough attention, you see Steve standing/sitting here with blank empty face. Usually it happens in stressful events, when he has some free time by himself. He also gets slow time to time, like hes habing hard time to concentrate. Cant be sure, but its does seems like zoning out. Im think there was even some parody video where people noticed what Steve sometimes gets blank faced and slow in the middle of the talk.

Paranoidal ideas, anixety, nervousness

Oh, this one is easy. You honestly wont find another ST character who is so full of anixety. He is fidgety, he hugs himself in a self-defense manner, he makes himself look smaller than he is, he constantly has the deer in the highlights look on his face, he cant think and act straight when he meets the Upside Down monster first time, so Jonathan even has to grab his hand and yank him to run. We also see how Steve is afraid of the goverment in the ST2, I would say its paranoidal behaviour-its seems like he does think what they are constantly being watched. Says what they will destroy their lives and families and changes the theme what Nancy wants to discuss.

In ST1 he is also ridiculously scared what his parents, dad especially, will find out what he drunk some beer, he gets so scared of this idea what he even calls Nancy and asks not to mention that to the cops, says what his parents will “Murder him”. 

In ST2 he is also pretty freaked out by Billy, in basketball scene when he is pushed down and Billy holds his hand you can see what Steve is trembling and looks like he is going to cry. Im not joking guys, just rewatch the scene....Poor guy just cant have a rest!

Presistent feelings of emptiness & guilt

“I'm sorry? What the hell am I sorry for?”

No matter is he guilty or not, if Steve having a conflict with someone, most of the times he will feel guilty and be sorry, as we see in the show. He wants to apologize to Jonathan for telling him means things, saying, “I just wanna be good, make things right”, buys him new camera (and giving it to Nancy, not presenting it to Jonathan himself.), cleans local theatre, he says sorry to Nancy, calls himself a jerk, a shitty boyfriend (wich is kinda downgrading himself), wanting to bring her roses and say how sorry he is again. Dustin also easily kind of guilt trips (”you promised to protect us”)  him to protect the party in the tonnels, while Steve clearly was against the whole thing, and feeling really unwell after getting his ass beaten by Billy.

Learning disability/scool problems. BPD can make it difficult for them to control the focus of their attention, to concentrate.

Steve plays it cool and pretends unbothered, but he actually tries hard to learn stuff. Even in ST1 we see in his room, what his table is covered by various homework papers. Its been shown what Steve having a hard time with study, what he is eager to be useful but not the smartest guy around, from his really chaotic essay and getting C-, to the Nazis comment. Its seems like he has some learning disability and doesnt even knows about it himself.

 Its also a known hinted fact what Steve doesnt have a good relationships with his parents, especially with strict father, he even calls him a “grade A asshole”. By their absence in the series, when we saw all the main character families, Steve remains all alone in big house, wich makes us think about how neglecting they are. The thing is, “people with BPD  have been found to be significantly more likely to having been abused by parents.”

During development, Joe Keery and the Duffers spoke about “what kind of family life [Steve] comes from and maybe this girl Nancy is quiet and listens in a way that other people haven't listened to him at this point.”-wich is pretty fitting to the portrayal of “neglecting, denying the validity of childnren thoughts and feelings parents”-that type of the bad parenting what BPD people mostly experenced.

“Parents were also reported to have failed to provide needed protection and to have neglected their child's physical care”, what gaves us the possible reason of Steves constant anixety and running away from the problems issues.

So, while we dont know can it be canon or not, I would say what there is high possibilities what Steve has BPD.

[strawberryspeachy]

With how loud and confrontational ive gotten no one would beleive that for a long time i was super... passive

So this story came to mind

When i was a sophmore i convinced my senior college friend to take theatre with me. She thought this one bleach blonde dude was cute and i didnt. But his hair made me take notice of him. She wanted to talk to him and later i saw him in my econ class too so i was like i gotchu dude.

So one day after theatre i was like hey. I think i saw you in my econ class. And we talked. He was a freshman. My friend hated attractice frshman so i spent the whole conversation excited to tell her that because it was funny

I told her she lost interest but he was funny and cool and in two of my classes so i was like yay new friend to study with

We hung out randomly. He was fun. We laughed alot. It was good.

I only talked to him for my friend. I wasnt too foward at the time so - since it was when actually using fb was popular. I looked him up. And id randomly creep on his page. He had a gf. Ok

So a couple weeks go by and then i see his fb turn to single and all that. He never brought up his gf to me. And i thought oh maybe hes gonna be sad this week

Nothing normal

Then his status turned to... either single or its complicated.

This is where it got annoying.

So he used to sit with me in class. Then after that. He didnt. He came in late i was like whatever he sat near the door.

Like i said. Back then i was pretty laid back. I just let ppl do their thing and didnt question

I went to leave class. And this dude looks at me. I get the vibe. And he pushes himself into a group of ppl talking and leaves with them quickly.

And i thought. That was weird. And start wondering does this have something to do with the ‘its complicated’ update or whatever. But why? Us hanging out hasnt felt like anything more. I dont like him. Omg he thinks i like him. Thats annoying

And for the next two weeks he kept doing that. But it pissed me off cause hed always look at me before runninng away. Like oh no! Shes gonna try to talk to me

Dude i havent once. This is the way out of class. I dont even walk in your direction.

Then he put a pic of her in his profile maybe. Idk. But the next day he stalls behind the other kids. And does the

Im not gonna look at you as i walk away super slow but suddenly turn around and awkwardly say hi as though we had a fight

And i pretended i wasnt thinking ‘wtf dude. I didnt ask for this. stop making it weird. Idc about your relationship status’ i was so annoyed

We talked again. It went back to kinda the way it was before but hed bring up his gf every so often. Which was annoying only cause i didnt like him and he thought i did. We never hung out after that semester

It comes to mind because

1) why was this dude weird with me when i had no feelings

2) did he have feelings for me? Why didnt he try anything?

3) if he did have feelings for me why was i still basically tossed to the wind

Even in instances where i dont change anything about me. I didnt like this boy. But based on how he acted, he felt something for me.

If i had liked him i wouldnt got excited. I woulda asked for more hanging out time or talked about more personal things. Then he woulda got all weird with me. And i woulda been hurt. And i woulda acted weird too. And id wonder what i did. And he woulda probably used my reaction to him being weird as an excuse to stop talking to me.

Why are boys like this to me

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Suspiria remake review from a shitty movie-goer

(this review is posted too late so excuse me for some timing inaccuracies I couldn’t be arsed to edit)

(IF YOU HATE TL;DRS JUST SKIP AHEAD TO THE “THE REVIEW” PART. YOU’RE WELCOME)

I actually hate to admit why was I interested to watch this movie in the end, but for once SOMETHING motivated me to go to a movie after countless tries from my family to get me to watch something in theatres at a “reasonable time” (daytime is what they mean, this movie was at 8pm our time, and this is when the cross-city bus transport (it goes from one big city to another) stops doing their service lmao).

I myself have a lowkey interest in moviemaking (I’m already getting there by editing my phone-recorded videos because whatever). I come up with my concepts in my head and I am mostly willing to put them down somewhere in my computer so I don’t forget it years later if I want to make that concept a thing in the end (because none of my concepts are finalized... well except for one short horror-ish story I posted on DeviantArt (see mom, I do like some horror stuff!). Reddit as of lately inspired me to edit some of my movie’s plot-lines based on irl events (not related with anything too SJW), and I’m not sure how an usual movie-goer would see this concept but I am going to try to execute it... whenever I have enough equipment to shoot my own little films or skits or whatever.

What’s that? There are people who scrolled past this and already yell at me that “YOU ONLY WENT TO SEE THIS MOVIE BECAUSE OF THE MAN WHO COMPOSED THE SOUNDTRACK~~~”? Ugh yes you exposed me, tea all over. I even had “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” on a bit of a repeat as of lately (how fucking come I wasn’t too couragerous to listen to this song before?? And “Pyramid Song”??? Man am I discovering their pearl(ie)s(*) too late). And I’m occasionally on the band’s subreddit as well. And the man himself is touring ‘round the USA, signing material of fans and have genuinely warm chats with them. Admireable.

But that’s only half truth.

I never thought I’d see Suspiria on cinema theatres in here. Until one time when I saw an ad on a completely random Lithuanian website that said this movie is coming to our theatres 14 December... I couldn’t quite believe my eyes. I made my goal to see Suspiria since then. I even dared to ask a couple of my new college ‘friends’ to see it with me, but one of them fell off the deal when I revealed that I’ll be going to see it on Saturday, and on the weekends he’s usually at home, far away from the city the college is in (he lives in college dormitory on mostly the work-weekdays). So my only movie companion ended up to be this 28-year-old coursemate (actually we both study different things but sometimes we attend some of the same lectures) who was intrigued by the Suspiria trailer herself so at least I’m gonna have her by my side of the movie, so I thought. Sweet.

I already envisioned seeing this in a mall cinema theatre but my companion offered me a cheaper alternative - her suggested cinema theatre was actually in renovation so the business is temporarily happening inside an actual drama theatre’s long theatre hall. I had to wait long until the ticket box opened and because of that I was lowkey frustrated as I finished my English test writing a little earlier, so I spent my time walking around the city until the time came and I wandered off to the old building of the cinema so then I remembered it was moved and I found the moved place. Yeah I bought the tickets before my companion could but I’ll skip ahead to the time that I almost lost the tickets because they were put down on a windowsill outside some children activity centre (Suspiria and children?? lol). I came back home late at night and was ready for the movie to happen the next day. Oh and before buying the tickets I coincidentally saw dance classes going on nearby that building... weird, as Suspiria has dance elements in there

The day came (December 15) and my family went together with me because they saw this as an opportunity to see the Christmas tree of our city (but not the movie). Needless to say, they were still visibly pissed at me orchestrating this idea, as I planned everything BUT the transport to go by. Well at least my mom and my sis. Dad was cool with it as he returned home to watch Home Alone. Aside all that, the cinema hall was cozy, Christmassy, not too small, there were a few trailers before the movie, no snack-seller places (as this is not a mall lol) - my companion was glad she wasn't at the mall as she found this place where we were at way lovelier.

Now with all that unnecessary long intro off my chest, let’s begin:

THE REVIEW

(definitely not spoiler-free, if you are sensitive to spoilers please watch the movie for yourselves before reading my review. But if you like being spoiled, I’m your friend then I guess lmao)

The intro to the movie felt like I ended up booking a wrong movie - I didn't expect that to be set somewhere in Germany, especially an American/Italian-shot one. Was that a thing in the original Suspiria? I don't know... (apparently it is, but the cities are different, never the country though)

Patricia (I didn’t know it was Chloë Grace’s role until reading the Wiki) looked like to be a really big deal here, with the dance pupils discussing her disappearance the other day and Susie overheard them, then Sara mentioned the Patricia thing to Susie after Susie revealed she was kind of chosen as the lead dancer for the Volk play... is it because Patricia was THE saviour that unfortunately knew a little too much?? Idk, it’s perhaps the reason we get to see the Klemperer guy subplot happen (I didn’t know it was Tilda Swinton behind him all the time either, must be because the way the male German accent was put on her lol). Turned out she was captured and kept under some dungeon where Sara had gone later in the movie, but looking like an almost melted and grotesquely old human being (or if Mary’s mother from “Chocolate with Nuts” was a person). Speaking of which, there is one more later in the movie, but I won’t tell just yet - we will need to get into such scenes discussion first.

Interesting deaths here, despite of them being grotesque and horrifically detailed. It almost felt like Susie, whilst doing her first dance as the probable lead dancer, temporarily turned into Olga’s voodoo doll or a violent bloodbender (that old lady from Avatar that could bloodbend was incredibly uncanny, damn) and left Olga completely fucked up, and the foam mouth later on... is this the effect myxomatosis has on a human being if it was ever humanly? She was twitching and salivating afterall. :P But no, she’s not dead until she gets to plead her death later in the movie! :O Several others occur throughout, but none is more prominent than this key scene I described, well at least according to TV Tropes.

The search for the evil person in this movie without Wiki helping me much was definitely a nice game for me to play. I kept thinking that Blanc might be that one, then I thought she’s not the one until she looked at Carolina (I think that was the tall tomboy’s name??) suspiciously and then she later passed out on the floor violently, with rabies foam and everything.

Anyway, don’t tell me Tilda Swinton wouldn’t make out a pretty good Thom Yorke post-Pablo Honey. She’s 8 years older than him, ffs! Also played a man before (e.g.: this movie I’m talking about) so the make up won’t be an unjumpable-over hurdle.

The sighs were for sure unsettling, especially because they oddly sounded like orgasm here and there. IDK why. I know fucking is referenced twice in this movie (well only fucking once and sex another time). Speaking of random things, the nightmare shots were completely random themselves, following up with some imagery we never see in the movie again, and some of that we see only a little (like the worms and bloody organs).

3 long scenes that were note-worthy for me. One is the Olga mutilation/Susie's first dancing scene that I already noted, and it was driven by music (the others will be too. Soundtrack of this movie still rules). Then there's the Volk play itself - girls go from one place to another, take poses of each other, dance individually, let their minimalistic red rope dresses flick in the air, interspersed with Sara in the underneath area and her broken leg (so broken, the bone went out of her skin!), and then the matriarchy getting her back on stage, but healing her leg with her witch powers before that. I haven't really listened to the rest of the soundtrack but I gotta check the song out so that I won't end up labeling it as a Kid A reject. No but seriously - intense dancing needed some intense drumming and painful instrument sounds just to project out the massiveness of the whole play.

Then I keep remembering the scene where Madame Blanc commands Susie to jump higher and higher in the mirror hall, up until she jumps as highest as possible. Also my companion’s favourite scene was the stare exchange between these two ladies during the part where people were singing some drinking song in a bar to celebrate ‘Volk’’s success - you hear them singing and then some chilling background noise slowly mixing and creeping its way into the atmosphere, then I think it leads into a scene where some sparkling aura entity wakes Susie up (and she’s nude) in the middle of the night and gets her to go down to this... dungeon orgy full of random stuff going on, complete with an Asian man doing something beyond explanation (I could say lewd but not quite), even more strange ritual dancing and the very much frightening Madame Helga... who looked like Jabba the Hutt for some reason. And then of course everyone slitting, slashing and twisting each other, and by the end Susie throwing us all a plot twist which makes her THE evil one who can finally let her ‘friends’ go of all that suffering they have been through thanks to the damn witches (and yeah apparently her dance friends haven’t completely died? THAT’S how they do - they tell Susie to end their suffering and she does). Also she cracks her chest open to reveal a... very graphic part of a female body that will by no doubt get this whole text review reported without consent so I refrain from any illustrations. Oh and this scene mostly has the possibly favourite this movie’s soundtrack song of mine, if not one of them, play - titled Unmade. It was a mind-boggling decision to do so but the movie editors do them I suppose, but still. I felt sad for the song having to be the background of such absurd but fair enough events? (Oh and I didn’t mention that everyone who voted for the other woman than Madame Blanc to be the leader of the witches (iirc) were rid of in this movie. Damn.)

Oh and the ending is rather an interesting detail, not talking about post-credits because as always I have to be this one movie goer who wants to do it but can’t because they’re urged to go back out of the movie theater. We turn into modern day Germany with a love heart carved on a brick wall with the letters A and L (perhaps?? at the time of finishing this review my memory towards it kind of erased some parts of the movie for me), a nice little remembrance of Lutz’s (the old man’s) love for his dear Anke, with which they have reunited during the movie, but Lutz was dragged out by some people related to the dance academy for probably wandering elsewhere than needed and somehow Lutz ended up as one of the sex dungeon victims, stripped of clothing and lying down quite powerless. That and before the modern day shot we are subjected with Lutz in hospital with Susie coming to visit, they discuss something related to the plot, Susie touches the guy speaks some more, leaves and according to the Wiki, Lutz “suffers from a violent seizure” that was nothing more than just a hard seizure. And it even erases his memories!

Anyway, as a whole, I felt more underwhelmed of this movie’s experience despite really wanting to see it. Like, “uhm yeah gore blood people getting slashed everyone’s a witch and everyone’s watched over by the witch and if you expose the witches you die” kind of underwhelmed. I didn’t want this movie to blatantly go through my head, but it did, that’s why I wanted to make notes everytime something notable happens. There was one startling moment, and it just was an innocent scene transition. And something within Olga’s mutilation scene made me chuckle (and made some other people leave the cinema hall ASAP). It’s more of a disgusting watch than scary. Also feels too dragged out in parts.

I’d only recommend it if you are gore-tolerant (there are people that can’t stand looking at blood so this might as well not be for you, especially if you’re younger than 16), like intense choreos that can impact other people literally, and... the soundtrack. Yes of course. If you dare to get through the movie with feeling its soundtrack, sometimes you might as well feel it right, but some of the soundtrack song usages might as well make you go “hmm” as much as me.

I'll remind myself to never watch a movie in theaters for soundtrack again (unless they're not THAT late). And the other 'trilogy of the three witches' movie remakes, especially if they come out at the time I haven't moved houses by now, because for sure as hell will my parents not like me going to cinema late once more. The movie is lowkey 7 out of 10 for me, can sometimes it's on the verge of falling down to 6 becaude of no completely proper comprehension of some directing choices... so 6.7/10 is good - as it still has 6 in it, but totally leans on to the 7.

Will probably watch it again. I need to remember some more of this movie sometime later. And looking for online uploads of this movie is unrecommendable - I'll wait until Lionsgate distributes it to America for wider audiences so that anything could surface 2 months (or even a few days) later from now. Though if I didn't need all that, I'd definitely not watch it again for a long time... unfortunately I want to.

Post movie feelings: my companion liked the movie, initially said to never watch it again but now wants to watch it again because it was so "wtf" she felt like re-experiencing it at some point. She liked the music (another bonus point for Yorke). She wished she could film the reactions of other people who watched this, as they mostly were confused, all being like "wtf did I just watch???". I'm already feeling bad for the 3rd companion who didn't join us but would also like to watch this - he’ll likely be one of those confused movie-goers.

[ughthatimagineblog]

i’ll see you tomorrow, boyfriend

  draco malfoy x reader | university!au

  requested:  Hey could I get a draco x reader au from his point of view where he meets her in uni and has a crush but tries to hide it? Maybe they become friends (he goes to her dance shows and orchestra performances and such) and he falls more and more until eventually he just blurts out that he's in love?

word count: 3614

  warnings: abuse, draco being edgy, lucius malfoy, maybe ooc narcissa a lil bit (its been 5ever since i wrote anything even mentioning her)

  a/n: this is an au soooo yeah idk how this went. i liked it. i added in extra plot to make it semi spicy. also if ur sensitive to abuse then pls go away no offense but youll be triggered and i dont want ppl to get upset so i warned u

She caught him. And he was trapped.

 It was late winter. He was focused with school and everything was fairly easy. Platinum hairs like feathers ruffled in the cool wind under the hot sun and he took his time walking to his new class of the semester.    He was majoring in Business and Biological Engineering. Nothing would distract him from that. He had a goal. Make his father proud.

 Life had different plans. Of course Draco would fulfill his destiny of graduating in those majors, but not without a small distraction.  Walking into one of the core classes he had this semester he saw her. At first it was a glance. She was beautiful. He lowered his head and took his seat a few rows behind her.

 Class began not much longer and Draco could focus but hardly. He knew he shouldn’t have been distracted by some silly girl but this girl was far more than silly.    He noted she had the class with a couple of her friends and he would hear her laugh often. Sometimes she would get called out by the professor and shyly quiet down, her face turning red. It made his heart beat. He found it strangely poetic to note he had one. For so long he had disregarded emotion and feelings. Now, he had a new start.

 That ‘start’ began a year ago and life at university had grown on him. Nothing was to get in his way. He was a determined student who rarely spoke to people and when he did it was something snarky or completely neutral.  The seas of his life were calm. They were fine. You were the storm on the horizon.

The first day with you

Draco could feel the sun and cool air on his skin as he crossed campus to his English class of the semester. He wanted to sneer. The sun was nothing but a large ball of gas and flame to him today. The sun was not supposed to be out. Just another class to pass and then we move on. He thought to himself, walking into the B Block building. He saw a few kids rush into the building before him and they held the door open for him.

 He nodded a thanks, his mouth continuously in a tight line and continued to his classroom. It was fairly small. Only about twenty four students. He knew all of them from the past semester or the previous year.  Taking a seat about halfway in between the front and back, he opened up his binder and notebook, waiting patiently for class to start. Of course that meant other people were talking in that time. It was the same chatter, Draco knew. About him.

 “That’s Draco Malfoy.”

“I heard he didn’t need scholarships. His dad paid for his tuition.”    “He’s creepy. I heard he never talks.”

“Really? I heard he’s mean.”   “Probably, I mean how can you grow up with people like the Malfoy’s and not be rude.” “Malfoy? He’s a Malfoy?”

It was all the same and he had come to ignore it. It was best to go through school by himself than spend it with loads of friends. It was easier for him. If something were to disrupt that, he would be a goner. His grades would be a goner as well. His father would make him pay.

   Class started not much but five minutes later and the professor began to introduce themself. “Hello, class. I am Professor Eva Beverly and I will be your advanced English Composition and Literature class. This class will be easy if you pay attention. One should always be prepared here and if not-”  The professor was cut off by the door swinging open and a girl stumbling into the classroom. Your back was facing Draco, but he could hear you say ‘Thank you’ to an advisor in the hall. Once you turned around, his heart nearly dropped.  You were stunning and suddenly, his facial expression was one of shock instead of mysterious resentment. “Miss Y/L/N. You are late.” The professor crossed her arms. “I know Professor Beverly, I couldn’t remember which block this class was on so I had to go back to the advisors. I reality I tried to get here five minutes early and-”  “Take a seat.” “Yes, ma’am.” You had rambled. Draco, if it were anyone else, would have found it annoying. But it was you. ‘Miss Y/L/N’ If he could only learn your first name. He was in luck. Empty seats surrounded Draco and for once in his life, he thanked whoever would listen for being the kid not anyone would want to sit by. Of course anyone who had any sense that is. But this girl, Draco could see, did not as you chose the seat to his right, in the row in front of him.  To your right, a blonde girl wearing a simple flannel was laughing and Draco took it that she was this new girls friend. He recognized the blonde from the beginning of the semester. The both of you were freshman.  To his dismay, however, the blonde was also one of the girls whispering about him. He was a goner. No doubt she would tell his beautiful crush all about what a ‘creep’ he was.  As Draco dwelled on this, he couldn’t help but how much less of a creep he would be. . . with you.

Four months spent with you.

Fortunate for Draco, the girl, who’s name he learned to be Morgan, had not spoken of him to you, which gave him the chance to speak with you. It was completely out of character, but he set limits for himself. He would not allow you to distract him. Too much.  He was in for a disappointment.  In a way, Draco was aware of this. In fact, he had been thinking about it on his walk to class that day. His walk, with you. “Do you have any clue the word count Professor Beverly wants to have for our essay this Friday?” You asked Draco. He shrugged slightly. “Shouldn’t be more than two pages or about nine hundred words.” He replied and you grunted, frustrated. “I was hoping it to be more.” He looked at you, a small smirk forming at his lips.  He had learned a lot about you in the past month. Your favorite color, what music you liked. He knew of the latter by looking at your phone from his seat. When you used it in class it was to switch from Spotify to Pandora to the Music app and back and forth. You were quite indecisive with your taste and the connection in the class was spotty.

 “What, like two thousand words?” Draco inquired. He also learned you were a performing arts major and loved literature as well. You actually were quite popular in the sense that you knew a lot of people and did a lot of things. You were in the theatre department, the University orchestra, a scout for the local charity and the choir.  Right now, you had been stressed trying to balance school work with the outside activities. That upcoming weekend, Draco remembered you had both a choir concert and a charity event all in the same day. You also had three core classes out of four periods on four days of the week. He wished he could take some of the load off of your hands and it killed him that he couldn’t.  You and Draco had been spending quite a lot of time together and you only started hearing the rumors about him a month after you were seen as friends. You didn’t believe them though. Draco had an intimidating look, but he was quite kind to you and had a fantastic sense of humor. You also found him extremely attractive.  The past four months had been filled with you working around school and extracurriculars all with Draco’s help. He went home once a month but you would see him again the Monday following the weekend and he always helped you study. Eventually you moved to sit next to him rather than in front of him and you couldn’t help but find yourself staring at him every once in awhile.  You and him did not compute well in your head though. There was something off about him. Something about his family seemed odd. He never spoke of his parents and when he did he used his father's first name but called his mother ‘mom’. You had asked if they were seperated but when he replied negative you left it alone. Unfortunately, this just added onto your worry.

 On the other hand, Draco was also worrying about a similar issue. Over the four months his grades had went down by two points. He still had A’s but if there was something Lucius Malfoy didn’t notice, it would be how big of an arse he is.  Draco couldn’t attend your events this weekend. And oh, how he wanted to more than anything. He had seen pictures of you at said events before. For the orchestra concert you wore a black dress that made you look stunning and at your last charity event, you wore a beautiful gown that made Draco want to kiss you right then and there. He wanted more than anything to see you look so magical in person, but this was his weekend trip home. He couldn’t miss it. Not on his father’s watch.

 “So, can you make it?” You asked, knowing what the answer would most likely be. “No, I have to visit my father. He wants to make sure I’m doing well in school.”  He wants to ask why my grades are still not as good as they used to be. He thought to himself. He subconsciously touched the unseen scars on his back from where his father had punished him many times before.  “Ah, well tell your mother ‘hello’ for me. And be sure to give her this. It’s for Christmas. I am a few months late but it took me awhile to get ahold of it.” You smiled and handed him a small box you had quickly pulled from your bag. He opened the box to reveal a medium sized necklace with emerald gems. “Y/N. . . You really shouldn’t have.” Draco was speechless. It was beautiful. And for you to do that for his mother, it was baffling. He really liked you.  “It’s alright, Draco. Let’s get to class.” You smiled, realizing you reached your classroom. You opened the door for him and you both entered, only for Draco to find it impossible to focus.

 The ride home for Draco was impossible. He lived an hour and a half away and it was not long enough. He was only waiting for the dread of going home.  Parking his car in the drive, he already saw his father in one of the windows. Checking the time, Draco saw it was six in the evening. Your concert had started and would end in thirty minutes and your charity event started at eight. He sighed, knowing he would be enduring a much worse night.  Subconsciously, he clutched your present in his jacket pocket as he approached the front door, his suitcase in his other hand. His mother opened the door and he almost felt relieved, but the feeling quickly left him as he knew his father was still somewhere in the house.   “Draco.” His mother smiled and pulled him in for a hug. He closed his eyes and sighed. “Mom.” He sighed in relief, wrapping his arm around her.  “Come in, come in.” She ushered Draco into the house and he left his suitcase by the door, only to be greeted by his father. “Father.” Draco greeted. “Draco.” Lucius said, much less fond than his wife. “I understand that your grades are still not well. Is it still because of this girl?” Lucius asked coldly and Narcissa put a hand on her son. “Lucius, not now. He just got home.” She sighed and Lucius shot her a glare.  “I will address whatever problems that need to be addressed. Draco?” He replied. “It’s not because of the girl.” He muttered, feeling small. “Is that so? You told your mother you met a girl about four or five months ago. When did your grades drop? Four or five months ago. Before then, nothing was wrong. Now you have some stupid girl around and suddenly your future is compromised.” Lucius spat and Draco felt his hand ball into a fist.  “She’s absolutely not stupid.” Draco said, harshly. His father scoffed. “Oh really? Do you know where she lives? Do you even know if she has both parents? If she even has money?” Lucius scoffed and Draco aggressively stepped closer to his father. “She doesn’t have both parents at home but I’m twice the man you are so even I can look past something as petty as being against that.” Draco spat and was met with a sting on his cheek.

  A sting, a gasp, a raised hand and the turn of a head.

The sting was delivered by his father's raised hand, causing Draco’s head to turn on impact and his mother to gasp and hurry to his side. Draco inhaled deeply, trying not to let the salt in his tears make his eyes go red.  He turned away from his father to his mother. “Mom, Y/N gave this to me to give to you. She said it was for Christmas and it’s a little late and she’s sorry.” Draco calmly handed her the box. He turned to his father. “She also said to apologize for not getting anything for you because she doesn’t know much about you or your interests, but she says she promises to get you a gift for Christmas next time.” Draco said with a sour look. A tear dropped from his eye.  “You don’t deserve anything she will ever give you.” Draco said, shaking with anger. His mother, behind him, had opened the gift from you and covered her mouth in shock. She saw the authenticity in the necklace and based on what Draco had told her about you, she knew that it must had cost you a fortune to afford that present for her. And here her husband was, insulting the girl who her son perfectly deserves, despite her social status.  “Lucius.” She said with a tight lip. “What?” He snapped at her, his chin tilted high.  “It’s not like he’s in love with the thing.” He spat and Draco balled his fists once more. “Actually. . .” Draco paused and looked at his crying mother. “I do.” She smiled. His father looked disgusted. “You what?” He asked.  “I love her.” Draco confirmed and turned to the door. He grabbed his suitcase and pulled his mother close. “I’ll meet you every now and again, but I refuse to meet with him.” He whispered under his breath and pulled her in for a hug. He kissed her forehead before opening the door. “Where are you going?” Lucius asked, angrily.  “A much better place to support the girl I love and I’m not coming back until you fix the way you see her.” He said harshly before slamming the door.

 Draco stopped at a gas station half way back to Uni so he could change into a nice black shirt and some trousers. The argument at home only took thirty minutes so he was making good time. The only problem was traffic.  When he did get to campus, however, he did memorize the building the event would be held in. He found a space to park and rushed in, catching the start just as the lights went down. There were a couple open seats in the back and he thought he spotted you towards the front but it was too dark to tell. He just waited patiently, not speaking to the others at his table.

 A few people went on stage and spoke about helping children with cancer as well as a few other charities said people were helping. It wasn’t until a blonde woman on stage mentioned your charity that Draco really paid attention.  “Now please welcome the founder for the Arts for Acknowledgment program, a program funded by donations here by students to fund educational programs and arts to acknowledge lost or underappreciated cultures, Y/N Y/L/N.”

  And then a girl stood up in the crowd and Draco could no longer believe he had ever known you previous to that moment. You were stunning. He knew it was a black tie event, similar to a gala but you looked like royalty. Your hair was pinned back and your gown was a long and beautiful golden dress that had an off shoulder top but flared out to a large bottom. 

 And the way you walked so graceful onto the stage. The way you smiled to the crowd. He couldn’t help but snicker in contrast to the first day the two of you met. You clumsily falling into the classroom gave him the impression you would do poorly in heels. He was wrong.  “Tonight, i would like to thank the help of my fellow classmates for supporting and donating as well as submitting suggestions and artwork. Thank you. I would like to thank my mother, for pushing me to pursue the goal of helping other people. By using my advantages to help those that had none. Thank you. I would love to thank my counselor who has helped me get through every anxiety attack or depressive episode I have had along the way. Really, without you I wouldn’t be as organized as I am with my life.” You laughed and Draco knew he was in love. He smiled.  “And finally, I would like to thank my best friend, Draco Malfoy, who has been a silent push these past four months ton really put everything together. He has stayed up late countless nights with me to help put together final touches on payment plans, architectural deals or gallery organizations. Really, he should get some of the credit. I love that man for everything he’s done for me. Thank you.” Your words wavered in the last sentence and Draco’s world was paused.  I love that man for everything he’s done for me. The words rang around his head like a pinball machine. Your voice wavered and it only happens when there was something behind your words you weren’t telling.

 Draco felt an impulse and he decided to act upon it. “I am here.” He said as loudly as he could without yelling. Heads turned, yours being one of them. One of the women close to the stage looked appalled. “Young man! I don’t think-”  “It’s alright.” You said, breathless yet a smile was glued to your face. The woman sat down with a huff and Draco made his way to the stage, his heart nearly exploding every step of the way. If he was wrong about this, he was about to embarrass himself in front of about, say, four hundred people or so.

  He reached the mic and away from the mic, you spoke in a hushed tone. “I thought you were with your parents tonight.” He smirked. “You’re much better company.” He smiled and you mirrored his expression. “Ladies and gentlemen, this woman that stands before you is absolutely incredible. Yes, it’s true I stayed up countless nights to help, however, I barely deserve a mention.     This project is hers and hers alone and to take any of the credit would be improper. How hard Y/N has had to work to get all of this done transcends me. But she has done it. For so many people. And she says she loves me for all I’ve done for her?” Draco spoke into the mic.     “No. I love her for her generosity and all she’s done for you.” He stated, giving you a quick glance and noticed you were tearing up. He turned to you, but made sure the mic was able to pick up his words. “For me to let her go and be with someone else would break my heart.” His heartbeat accelerated. Little did he know, so did yours. “Y/N, will you be my girlfriend? You are incredibly intelligent and ambitious with amazing morals. You are kind, funny, and smart both book and street and I would love to make you mine.” Some noises of adoration were heard from the audience. This only egged Draco on.   He got down on one knee. “I have had to keep these feelings inside for the past four months. But Y/L, I love you. Very much. Be mine?” He asked and you nodded. There were cheers from the crowd. You could barely hear them once Draco stood up and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips. Your heart was on fire. Once turned away, his arm did not leave your side. 

You delivered the rest of your speech and the night concluded itself with food, music, and lots of talking. By the end of the night, Draco was walking you back inside your dorm after driving you home. 

   “I never knew.” You both ended up saying. You both laughed. “Neither did I.” You said, reaching your dorm door. “You looked stunning tonight.” Draco commented, cupping your face. “You look handsome yourself.” You replied before he kissed you once more.    “Goodnight, I’ll see you tomorrow. . . Girlfriend.” Draco whispered after pulling away. You giggled and smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow, boyfriend.” You replied and left Draco’s ears ringing with the word. Boyfriend.

hope you enjoyed!

[r-az]

gay meme 1-30

OH… BIG WUV

1. describe your idea of a perfect date

going on an adventure with them! and making memories…. discovering new things! and something to do with a pond or a creek or something because water is really important to me and i associate it with life and beauty and peace

2. whats your “type”

usually? messes. recently? puppy parker fangedpuppy warmpinks morningstar the first.

3. do you want kids?

nope! i think that bringing a child into a world thats on the brink of destruction both politically and literally is uh. not good!

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?

oh i would def adopt! im against putting more children into the world but i would love to take one that was given up. more people should adopt

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been on

ive only been on one so. i GUESS when chris and i went to see the illumination entertainment film and we sat in the back of the theatre and i just talked about wanting to fuck the koala the whole time

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?) 

im a virgo!

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?

night time. im a vampire i. Thrive in the night

8. opinion on nap dates?

god hell yes

9. opinion on brown eyes?

the only good eyes. light eyes like green and blue just. creep me out. in my opinion like, the darkness of the eyes shows the trustability and love in a person

10. dog gay or cat gay?

haahahahahhahahahahahahaahahhahahahaha

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?

FUCK YES i fucking love animals like that so much oh my god i trust them so much

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone

honestly? honest to god? swear on my life? them liking shit like. steven univerase and like, not having an opinion on ace discourse. 

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?

I THOUGHT THEY WERENT REAL

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self

delete ur blog dumb faggot lol go outside steven pooniverse discuorse isnt a good way to spend your time. also please play literally any game other than undertale.

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders? 

nope!

16. who is an ex you regret?

sam my abuser xD 

17. night club gay or cafe gay?

hgghhghghghtghghhhhh night club. unfortunately

18. who is one person you would “go straight” for

hm… no one

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?

movie gay because im gay and cant read

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)

ghghghhghghh tommat or tomedd. its canon in me heart.

21. favourite gay youtuber

youtubers are bastards tyler oakley spit in my face and called me a fake gay so none

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?

no bc i dont ask people out they ask me out

23. have you ever been in love?

YEAH BABY MY BOY PARKER @fangedpuppy HOOKED ME UP

24. have you ever been heartbroken?

yea xD

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someone

well. if we’re talking sexey times then its always both. but for actual love its usually having like. the polar opposite personality of me. like puppy!

26. favourite lgb musician/band

me moaning with dread into the sewers at 4 am, alone and in a devil onesie

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gays

if you see a mogai or a transphobe? beat their ass then run

28. are you out? if so how did you come out

yeah but ive come out so many times idk man

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have

my mom outing me to my home the phobic brother el oh el

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexuality

try just not being gay! :^) [SARCASM]

[rowbeana]

sometimes i have dreams and then remember them post #16

hoo boy...

so i think the very start, the original premise, was that my dad and i and my uncle and someone(s) else were taking evan back to school basically? but as always, he went to a diff made up uni in my dream. one of the other people with us was a former (again, probs fictional) snl cast member bc....ok

anyways along the way we stop because my dad has to go get something?? idk, he’s acting weird, but whatever. there’s this fancy little gelato shop where we parked and my uncle is like well i’m going to go get some gelato and i was like ME TOO THEN?? so me, him and evan go and i’m looking at cones and fsr chris parnell is there? i know it’s bc my mom and i were just talking about him before i went to sleep but still

i say something really weird to him as he’s leaving, like “good work, parnell!” and he stops bc that was weird and i get all stressed i’m like sorry that was-- it’s just like i know someone-- i’m unable to form a sentence but it’s okay bc the snl cast member who is either in my fam or a family friend comes in and suddenly there’s a big snl reunion bc there are all these other cast members there?? makes no sense ur right

this is important to note: this town is fuckin weird ok

then, and idk how at all, but our car is just a bunch of people, mainly muscly type guys, hanging out waiting for my dad. suddenly it’s a convertible so this is somewhat feasible. but eventually like two hours pass so i’m concerned and we gotta go.

i call my dad and i don’t really hear anything so i’m like dad?? dAD????? and i’m stressed. suddenly i can hear like. sketchy sex noises and i’m like wtf but i can tell something is super wrong so i’m not like grossed out i’m just scared. then i can hear my dad way way in the bg like someone else answered his phone to creep me out bc he’s being held captive!! and i’m like DAD...WHERE ARE YOU. and i hear him say something but it’s so quiet i dont really make it out then the person hangs up. in the dream this took a lot longer which was stressful.

so omfg i literally call back LOL so i can hear the name again then i hang up. i still only remembered the last name and i knew what it meant but i was hella stressed so i forgot. i end up asking someone in the town like “idk where my dad was all i heard was the last name newman” or s/t and she’s like. oh he lives at the horne mansion

and yes, the horne mansion is literally where benjamin horne from twin peaks and his fam live and he is as sketchy and bad as in the original run. there are a lot of villains in twin peaks but he’s the one who owns the hotel/lodge and the sketchy strip club with underage girls. so i’m like. fuck! i’m really dumb bc this house is literally across from where we are parked. i gather my new muscly male pals and tell them we gotta save my dad.

BUT THEN, ELSEWHERE, I HAVE A SIMULTANEOUS DREAM. where, while we were still innocently waiting in the car, this guy i used to have a crush on and is kind of like a family friend comes by to say hello and i learn he’s recently married and he has a daughter but i think she’s his step daughter bc she’s like four or five. and i’m like (: that’s great

idk how but now jacqui has a crush on him and i was supposedly over him so i’m like hey whatever + he’s married anyways + jac has a bf lol. and, again, this bf is fictional. can’t really remember but i think he had dark curly hair and a beard? he was like a young oscar isaac maybe.

anyways, fsr we are just pretty sure his marriage won’t last so we don’t really care. idk if jac said something to him at some point but we are at this comically large department store and i see him at the register so i tell jac and she runs away and it’s my job to keep tabs on him, although he is literally just gonna buy his thing and leave. also jac’s bf was in line for the register too which i suspect was the real issue of running away but it was still weird

so i gotta go track down jac and tell her he’s left now. not sure when other than car, but i guess i talk to the guy at some point bc cut forward to me receiving a letter from him. it’s like three pages front and back but in my dream i only have time to read the first page. i remember the beginning of the letter kind of but um it’s embarrassing lol so.

i don’t read any farther bc i only notice the other pages after, like they weren’t originally meant to be part of the letter? i don’t read them bc jac walks up and i’m like oh i got this letter from him it’s super long and jac is like oh (: i think i said his marriage seemed rocky or maybe i kept that to myself bc suddenly we were walking down some stairs and i could tell jac was annoyed/upset and i was like. well, just as a reminder, this dude kissed me ages ago while i was dating someone else which i think we can all agree is bad. so he’s not like That great

but by this point i’m ofc like well i’m single NOW lol so boy should date me. i guess that’s the more complicated backstory we had, like we mutually were interested but at the time i also loved the bf i had so????

anyways, somehow i think this is where the other storyline converges. i go to the creepy big ass horne estate and there’s some kind of party happening but i’m just here to rescue my dad. as i only vaguely know, my dad and mr. horne have some kind of beef or shady history together. i guess he came here willingly to talk about something but then he was taken prisoner pm

there’s kind of a reception area at this place lmao but i ask a lady who seems to be a nanny or a maid if audrey is home and she says yes. and i’m like well i’m a friend (this is true. how did i become friends with benjamin horne’s daughter if he hates my dad? idk!!) and i want to see her so nanny lady goes up the stairs but when she comes back she says audrey wasn’t in her room or she’s not coming down or w/e and i’m like. fuck bc she could help me the most but. i just smile and i’m like well that’s okay i’ll wait for her. at this point she’s def my best bet for a) finding my dad and b) successfully helping his escape

meanwhile, darren criss (why not) walks out from between these curtains that lead to a theatre bc in my dream the hornes own a theatre that actual famous people perform at sometimes. and rn darren is there for a few weeks but he doesn’t seem to love it (bc this place is sketchy as hell) bc he walks out looking at the ground with like his face covered maybe people are always wanting to get his autograph or whatever.

so i’m like. “darren. Darren. daRREN” bc off camera we have met and we have a past where we get along and are pals so i’m like. practically forced to body slam him so he looks at me and i’m like “great i need your help” and i loop my arm through his and pull him towards, somehow, a little gift shop type store that exists at the front of the house. previously, when i stormed in i didn’t have my muscly guy but some gals my age and i had a sweater and something else i was looking at and they hid them??? they’re bitches as if i need this rn when i’m just trying to save my damn dad. idk, it was weird, darren was helping me look although this was clearly not the priority of the moment. i’m also like forgetting about that other guy bc darren is right there and would be much easier to date

anyways, did we find the sweater? did we save my dad???? who knows bc it was 3pm so i woke tf up.