#i dont see why its so hard just a simple 'adult' or 18+ will do

[of-mutts-and-men]

All of the minors who interact with this blog (and any other adult blogs) are getting coal for christmas.

[ppersonna]

my only wish - knj | m

“ santa can you hear me? i have been so good this year. and all i want is one thing. please tell me my true love is here ” - my only wish (this year), britney spears

✹ summary- There are few things you hate most in this world. Hornets, unnecessary fruit pieces in otherwise perfectly good jello, certain shades of orange… But nothing takes the cake more than two simple things. Christmas. And Kim Namjoon. So why did you agree to pretend to be Kim Namjoon’s girlfriend at his family Christmas party? Bah-Humbug.

✹ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

✹ pairing- kim namjoon x reader

✹ word count- 15.1k OOF

✹ genre- smut, fluff, tiny tiny angst if you squint, enemies to lovers, fake dating au, idiots to lovers, brief mention of YoonMin

✹ warnings- penetrative sex, unprotected sex (dont do it), daddy kink lolol, namjoon has a big dick, oral sex (m/f receiving), cum swallowing, light cum play, dirty talk, light degradation (very light tbh), praise kink, lots of mentions of joon being a beefy boy, masturbation,

✹ a/n- its here!! finally! my contribution to rockin around the christmas tropes. big big big shout out to @ladyartemesia​ @xjoonchildx​ @untaemedqueen​ @underthejoon​ @yeojaa​ @snackhobi​ for being my co collaborators. and a warm shout out to @wwilloww​ and @hobi-gif​ for being some very lovely betas. thank you thank you! i hope you enjoy!

There are few things you hate most in this world. 

 Hornets, unnecessary fruit pieces in otherwise perfectly good jello, certain shades of orange…

 But nothing takes the cake more than two simple things: 

 Christmas. 

 And Kim Namjoon. 

Christmas, in your opinion, is nothing more than a consumerist holiday, anchored on ensuring you’re guilted enough from November 1st to the 25th of December to spend your hard earned money on shit your friends and loved ones won’t even use. It’s a time for people to pretend they love giving and caring, while shoving you out of lines in stores, buying up all the groceries as if it’s the end times, and forcing party after mindless party for “celebration” that ends in seeing your boss drunk and pants-less by the punchbowl. 

 And don’t even start on Kim Namjoon. 

 On paper, he’s your colleague, to put the terms friendly. In reality, he’s your opponent, your adversary. He’s annoying, rude, stuck up, and not to mention a douchebag heartbreaker. He’s everything you hate wrapped in one disgustingly handsome face. 

 The man never misses a chance to steal a case from underneath your nose, rub the praise he receives from your bosses in your face, and look ridiculously delectable in his tight suits that he insists he wears around the office. He absolutely infuriates you. 

 And now, as you sit in the company-wide meeting, your heart sinks as you realize the worst thing about Namjoon—he’s about to get the promotion you’ve been vying for your entire career.

 That position was as good as yours—at least, you had thought.

 That was until lead counsel, Seokjin, stands in front of all the attorneys present and calls out Namjoon’s name, commending him on winning his latest case—the case that you had done the bulk of the work for. Seokjin even tells the rest of the lawyers in the room that Namjoon is “someone to watch” with a glint of pride in his eyes. 

 The smug smile Namjoon sends in your direction as he teasingly nibbles on a pen with his sultry mouth is enough to make you want to tear his eyes out and use them as olives in the martini you sorely needed.

 Namjoon smirks as he walks past you once the meeting ends.

 “Make sure you watch me, baby,” he whispers into your ear. 

 His hand rests on your lower back and you hate how much he aggravates you, and hate even more so that he frustrates you sexually as much as he does intellectually.

 Unfortunately, your body can’t keep up with your mind’s distaste for the elder lawyer. His presence around you makes your blood vessels tighten and your head feel light—nipples prickling against your bra when he winks at you.

 “Asshole,” you whisper under your breath as you pack up your notebook.

 “Oh, ___!” Seokjin calls out just as you’re about to leave the all-glass meeting room.

 Your head suddenly screeches to a very frustrated, sexual halt when you turn to face the lead counsel of your company.

 “Yes, Mr. Kim?”

 “I’ve got a case for you.”

 The smile on his face makes you relax. Maybe he sees your potential. Maybe he’s testing you just as much as he’s testing Namjoon. Maybe you’ll be the “one to watch” and you can rub that right in Namjoon’s perfect, stunning face.

 A thick manila folder slides across the oak table towards you from Seokjin’s hands. The impressive volume of the dossier makes you giddy with anticipation.

 “I know you won’t let me down.”

 You nod, nibbling at your lips, before bowing to your superior and dashing out of the room as fast as your Louboutins can handle.

 It’s not until you sit at your desk, a cramped little cubicle next to Park Jimin, your best friend and paralegal assistant, that you open the folder.

 Your heart sinks as your eyes hurriedly rush over the title page.

 Personal Injury Suit.

 A dejected sigh leaves you as you throw the folder onto your desk and slouch back in your ergonomic office chair.

 “What’s up, pussycat?” Jimin smiles as he rolls his chair over to your side of the cubicle. “Namjoon got you worked up again?”

 You groan as you take off your reading glasses, setting them aside to rub at the burgeoning headache building at your temples. You had momentarily forgotten all about Namjoon in the hurried hope that you’d land a case of significance, something you could finally use to prove yourself.

 Instead, you gained yet another in-and-out, settle outside of court case. Likely some elderly geriatric suing a corporation for too-slippery floors.

 “Another fucking personal injury suit,” you whine as you thrust the folder into the lithe paralegal’s hands.

 He looks over the documents and sucks his teeth.

 “Man, Seokjin really has it out for you.”

 You level a look at your best friend, before nodding and holding your head in your hands.

 “Namjoon is getting all the good cases! He gets the media attention, the litigation deals, everything! It’s like I’m not even given a chance to show what kind of lawyer I can be when I’m stuck with all the nursing home and car accident suits!”

 Jimin bows dutifully, nodding his head as you express your woes.

 “I can do more than just personal injury litigation… and Seokjin knows that! It’s just that Namjoon keeps getting all the air-time!”

 “I know, babe. I know.”

 With one last sigh of disbelief, you take the folder out of Jimin’s hands and sit upright at your desk.

 “Well, I guess if I’m going to be a personal injury lawyer, I’m going to be the best fucking one yet. Let’s get to work.”

 “Yeah! Fighting!” Jimin cheers.

  Namjoon sighs as he listens to his mother blabber on and on through his phone. He leans back in his chair and surveys the wide expanse of his corner office.

 Seokjin gave him this space, an upgrade from the desolate cubicles when he won his last big case, Kim Taehyung, artist v. the city of New York. He can’t help but smirk as he glimpses you from his window, pouring over a case file. He notes the curve of your back in the silk blouse you’re wearing and the way it tucks into your pencil skirt. He wishes he could see the outline of your ass and watch as it sways back and forth when you walk.

 “I just don’t understand why you can’t ever bring anyone home for the holidays!”

 His mother breaks him from his silent reverie of detailing every aspect of your backside.

 “You know your grandmother will not be alive much longer! And all she wants is her only grandson to be happy and in love! And a few grandchildren won’t hurt!”

 “I am her grandchild, Mom.”

 She’s silent for a moment.

 “Well, I wouldn’t mind some grandchildren either.”

 He groans again and presses his fingers to his forehead, a headache bubbling up behind his eyes.

 “Don’t you act like that, young man! You have a big empty house, big car, big life, and no one to share it with. I just want you to be happy.”

 She continues on and Namjoon can’t help but let her words sink in.

 He has it all. Expensive luxury apartment, enormous bed, gorgeous kitchen, money to spend on traveling and enjoying life. Yet he spends most of his time here, stuck in his office. He’s utterly alone, regardless of how many social guests he tries to entertain, horrid dates he attempts to go on. He’s always left alone, and he feels it deep at the very bottom of his heart—the loneliness and desire for a companion.

 “Mom! Mom!” He interrupts her diatribe on the futility of his adult life. “Stop!”

 “Namjoon, I’m just conce-”

 “I’ll bring home my girlfriend for the holidays, okay?”

There’s a stunned silence on the other end.

 “A girlfriend?” she asks, tentatively. “Really?”

 “Yeah,” he breathes, wincing already at the lie he’s spoon-feeding his poor mother—all in the name of getting her off his back. “She’s kind of shy, so I didn’t want to tell you about her yet, but now seems like the best time. I’m... I’m even thinking of proposing.”

 The words come out of Namjoon’s mouth before he can stop them. His mom bursts into screams of delight, and he can tell she’s running to his beloved grandmother to tell her the news.

 “Oh, Namjoon! This is all we’ve ever wanted for you. I’m so proud of you! I can’t wait to meet her! Oh, goodness, I can’t want to tell your father. Goodbye, son! I’ll see you two soon!”

 She hangs up before Namjoon has a chance to even breathe.

 “Fuck.”

 He drops his phone to his wooden desk and grimaces. 

 How the hell is he going to find a fiance in the next 3 days before the holiday break? 

 There’s Jennie, his ex.

 He thinks about it for a moment, before quickly dismissing it. No, much too clingy and possessive. She’d take it to be real, and he’d be stuck with her.

 His last hookup, Jihoo?

 No, too aloof. His mom would never buy that they were a love-sick couple on the brink of engagement.

 A crash outside his office startles Namjoon, making him stand and exit the large corner suite.

 The commotion is coming from your cubicle, where he can see you’re struggling to use the decrepit computer. The crash must have been from you slamming the keyboard to the desk, causing the individual keys to pop off the board.

 “Shit! Jimin, help me put this keyboard back together!” 

 You shimmy out of your chair and onto your knees, an excellent sight for Namjoon if he wasn’t so concerned about your well-being.

 The paralegal is standing above you, watching as you kneel to gather the pieces of the obliterated keyboard.

 “Oh no, honey. It’s against my personal constitution to be on my knees unless it’s for a handsome man.”

 “God, Jimin, come on.”

 “Hey, it’s not my fault you hulk-smashed the life out of that poor keyboard.”

 Namjoon smirks, turning back into his office and sliding into his desk. He easily opens his MacBook and emails Yoongi in IT, requesting a brand new computer for your desk—no holds barred. He wants the top of the line for you.

 He suddenly has just the person in mind to be his fake fiancée. 

  A brand new, gorgeous computer is at your desk the next day you arrive.  You nearly spill your hot peppermint mocha when you see the sleek machine atop your old plastic desk instead of the broken clunker that was there the day before.

 “What the hell?” You ask Jimin as you set your coffee down gently as if any movement might scare the new computer away. “Did you order this?”

 “I love you, but I would never order you something this nice.” 

 You can’t help but roll your eyes as you sit down to marvel at the modern machinery. At least Jimin is honest.

 “Maybe I’ll call Yoongi and ask him where it came from,” you wonder aloud, hand hovering over your phone.

 “YOONGI?” Jimin screeches, eyes suddenly wide and crazed.

 “Yeah? The IT guy?”

 “I know who Yoongi is, you dumbass! Here, let me call him! I’m your assistant!”

 He scrambles to grab the phone out of your hand.

 “You literally refuse to do anything I ask.”

 Jimin smiles cherubically, completely ignoring your confusion. He’s suddenly the picture of a model employee.

 “Don’t you worry! I’ll be right on it!”

 He hops from your desk with your cell phone gripped tight, and saunters away to a secluded area out of your eyesight.

 “What the fuck is going on today?” You ask out loud, settling into your chair and unloading your bag of files.

 “How's the new computer?”

 The sudden intruder makes you jump, nearly spilling your coffee, yet again.

 “Fuck!” You shriek as you attempt to right yourself and the dangerously hot liquid sloshing in the paper cup. “You scared me!”

 The chuckle that comes from behind you makes your stomach flip. You know that laugh. You could recognize that laugh a hundred miles away, in a hurricane, with headphones on.

 That laugh is the sultry demon himself, Kim Namjoon.

 “I—How did you know about my computer?”

 Namjoon takes a knee, bringing his face to your level in your chair. He’s close to you, so dangerously close. You can smell the Giorgio Armani cologne applied to his pressure points—the heat of his skin warming the scent and mingling with his own subtleties. Your eyes nearly roll back in your head. He smells so comforting—like a home you never knew you were missing until he arrived.  

 “I saw it when I walked in this morning.” 

 He breaks you from your daydreaming of warm, firm hands caressing your body and you’re thrown headfirst back into reality—the reality where you can’t stand the man mere inches from you.

 You push back from where you are and stand, eager to get away from Namjoon’s sudden interest in close proximity. He smirks and rises from his spot, pocketing his hands in his tight cream suit.

 “Care to join me in my office for some coffee?” He asks.

 His office. The one he scored after he won the Kim Taehyung case. The bitter betrayal still lingers in your mouth. 

 For the longest time, you had been equal in every sense; both living in the dingy cubicles with the computers long-destined for retirement. Then, Seokjin awarded him with the corner office, the one with the view of the entire city. You’d never forgiven either of them.

 “I have my own coffee.”

 Namjoon smirks as he eyes your paper cup, clearly a quick grab from the 7-Eleven around the corner.

 “Looks fancy.”

 You purse your lips and clutch your coffee even closer.

 “Please,” he asks again. “I need to talk to you. It’s important.”

 Namjoon’s face loses its snark, and you’re curious about what could cause the man to become so serious.

 “Fine.”

 You motion with your arm towards his office, encouraging him to walk ahead. He smirks again, ah—there’s that smirk, before he turns and heads into the gorgeous corner room.

 He lingers by the door as you enter, waiting until you’ve crossed the threshold to close the door behind you. It surprises you. Something about being in a closed room with Namjoon sets you on edge. You can nearly imagine the man bending you over that fine oak desk, hiking your skirt up and spanking your ass until it’s red.

 “Coffee?” He asks as he moves towards the in-office espresso machine.

 “Are you fucking kidding me? You have a Nespresso in your office?” 

 All desperate and wanton thoughts of Namjoon sliding into you leave once you see the stainless steel contraption in the room's corner. Of course he has a $500 coffee machine in his office. He has everything you want.

 “You like it?” His question is cocky. He already knows the answer.

 “Fuck off.”

 Namjoon grins and turns the machine on, pulling out two mugs while you sip your now lukewarm coffee. It suddenly tastes disgusting.

 “So, what’s the deal, Namjoon?” You ask as he rests against the wall and waits for the coffee to brew. “You said it was important.”

 Namjoon nods, a more reserved look taking the place of his usual cocky grin on his face. His gaze turns down to his shiny dress shoes.

 “I need a favor.”

 “No.” Your answer is quick.

 Namjoon looks up at you in surprise.

 “You haven’t even heard it yet!”

 “Yeah, well…,” you huff. “I’m not interested in helping you.”

 Namjoon leaves his post by his elaborate coffee maker, forgetting about the piping-hot liquid drizzling into white mugs, as he stands in front of you. There’s that fucking cologne again. Why does he have to smell so good?

 “You’ve got to help me. Please.”

 His sudden closeness to you sets your brain off—your steely resolve begins to crumble.

 “Fine, I’ll bite. What is it?”

 His face lights up again. God, he has such a handsome mouth.

 “I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend for my family Christmas party.”

 If you hadn’t had such a good grip on the convenience store cup of coffee, it’d surely drop from your clutch and splatter on the expensive carpet of Namjoon’s office.

 Your eyes widen, and your mouth falls agape.

 “You—You what?!”

 Namjoon sighs and lowers his voice.

 “Look, I…” he struggles. “I told my mom I have a girlfriend, so she’d get off my back about it.”

 “And why am I suddenly your best option for that?!” 

 You step away from the man, determined to clear your mind as the scenario weaves its way through your head. 

 Namjoon’s girlfriend. He wants you to be his girlfriend.

 Well, his fake girlfriend.

 He would hold your hand. He would kiss you. He would touch your body in ways you convince yourself you don’t think of often. 

 “You’re the only girl I know who’s got a good enough poker face to go along with it. And honestly… you’re the only girl I really know well enough.”

 His last admission shocks you. Namjoon seems like the womanizing type—one to bring a different girl home every night.

 “That doesn’t explain why the fuck I would want to help you.”

 Namjoon steps back and moves towards the coffee machine again.

 “If you help me, I’ll take all your shitty cases that Jin is giving you.”

 Your eyes narrow at the tall man. It seems too good to be true.

 “How d'you know about them?”

 Namjoon shrugs and grabs a mug full of freshly brewed expensive coffee.

 “I can hear you complain to Jimin about it every day.”

 You grumble under your breath, sucking on your teeth as you try to process the terms of Namjoon’s deal.

 “So you want me to be your fake girlfriend for your family…” you muse.

 “Yes,” he agrees. “And I’ll do all your worst cases for the next 2 months. I’ll even give you my next big one. I know you want that.”

 God, he’s right. That’s all you want. A chance to prove yourself to Seokjin, to the company.

 With an aggravated sigh, you relent. 

 “Fine! But it better be a good fucking case. And, I’m using your coffee maker every morning.”

 Namjoon can’t help but chuckle, loving the fire in your voice. 

 “Deal?” He murmurs.

 He holds out his hand to shake on it, and it takes you by surprise how warm and soft his large hands are once you slide your own into his grip.  

 “Deal.”

 Jimin is not going to let you live this one down.

  Jimin doesn’t let you live it down.

 He’s sitting on your couch, legs crossed underneath him as he hoists his wine glass filled to the brim. He holds it away from his body as he shakes with laughter.

 “You’re telling me,” he wheezes. “That you agreed to be Namjoon’s fake Christmas girlfriend? You hate that man!”

 Flopping into the couch beside him, you sigh.

 “Yeah, well, it was my only option. He made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

 “Okay, Godfather,” Jimin snickers. “Lord knows you still want to bone that man, anyway.”

 “Jimin!” You admonish. “I do not! And that wasn’t the deal!”

 He sips at his red wine with an impish smile. You hate it when Jimin looks at you like that, like he can see behind the lie you’ve so carefully crafted of your hatred for Namjoon.

 “Then tell me, what was the deal?”

 You fiddle with the stem of your own wine glass, sighing.

 “He’s offered to take all our shitty personal injury suits for the next two months. And he’s giving me his next big case.”

 Jimin actually looks surprised—as if he didn’t expect Namjoon to provide a deal so worth the cost.

 “Wow,” he breathes.

 You nod in reply, taking a large gulp of the pinot grigio in your glass.

 “You’re still going to fuck him though, I know it,” Jimin adds.

 You splutter your wine from your mouth, hand reaching over to gently slap Jimin on his taut abdomen.

 “Shut up!” You cry.

 Jimin looks proud of himself, sipping his red wine gleefully while he settles further into your couch. Wine nights with Jimin is the highlight of your weeks. Together, you bitch over cases, coworkers, dating struggles, and eat too much cheese and cured meats and nurse a hangover the following day with brunch.

 “Hey,” you say to Jimin as you set your wine down on the coffee table. “Did you ever talk to Yoongi?”

 Jimin’s cheeks immediately turn a shade of rouge.

 “Yoongi? Yoongi who?”

 “Oh my god,” you groan. “Yoongi from IT. You stole my phone to call him today? To ask about my new computer?”

 Jimin swallows a large swig of his wine.

 “Oh. Yes, I did.”

 “And?” You encourage the blonde to answer further.

 “And he’s doing well,” Jimin replies demurely.

 “Jimin!” You huff. “The computer?!”

 Jimin makes an ‘O’ shape with his mouth and bites his lip.

 “I… might have forgotten to ask.”

 Your mouth drops open.

 “You literally stole my phone out of my hands to call him! What did you talk about?!”

 There’s his blush again. The shade of pink on Jimin’s cheeks would be adorable if you weren’t so flabbergasted by his answers.

 “I have a date tomorrow night.” He takes another sip as you let the reply sink in.

 “Oh. My. God.” You gasp, a smile now overtaking your features. “You have a crush on Min Yoongi!”

 Jimin sets his wine glass down next to yours and turns to you.

 “I had no idea if he was into me! But when I called, I totally forgot why I was calling him and we sort of just… started talking and next thing I know, he’s asking me out to dinner tomorrow night.”

 You playfully slap at Jimin’s thigh.

 “You little slut—using my phone to get yourself a date. On company time!”

 Jimin sticks his tongue out at you, before grabbing a pillow and slapping you with the overstuffed cushion.

 “At least I didn’t agree to be his fake girlfriend!”

  It’s the sound of your phone ringing at 7:32 am that wakes you from your spot on the couch, wine glass still clutched in your hand.

 “What the fuck?” You grumble, eyes blearily seeking the offending object disturbing your sleep.

 Jimin grumbles next to you, kicking at your foot as if it will stop the phone from ringing.  

“Stop,” he whines and cuddles into his fetal position. “Turn it ooooff.”

 You locate your cell phone and groan as you recognize the name on the caller ID. Namjoon. What the fuck could he possibly be calling for? And why did he have to call at seven in the goddamn morning? 

 “What do you want?” You snap as you hold the phone to your cheek and throw yourself back onto the couch.

 “Well, good morning to you, sunshine.”

 Namjoon’s voice, as sexy and sultry as it sounds, still aggravates you.

 “Why are you calling me? It’s Saturday. Its seven am.”

 Namjoon chuckles and you fight the shiver that works through your spine at the sound.

 “I tend to keep human hours on the weekend.”

 You can’t hold back the sarcastic guffaw that escapes you.  

 “Okay, Mr. Perfect,” you sigh. “That doesn’t explain calling me.”

 Jimin kicks at your foot again. 

 “Stop talking,” he grumbles.

 God, Jimin is such a diva when he’s hungover.

 “Meet me at the cafe on First Street,” Namjoon says casually. “I’ll tell you when you get here.”

 “Right now?!” You ask, incredulous.

 “I’m literally already here. Hurry before your coffee gets cold.”

 You let out a whine that could rival a 5-year-old’s temper tantrum.

 “Fuck you. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

 There’s no care about your phone when you end the call and throw it to the floor.  Jimin grumbles and rubs at his eyes.

 “Why the fuck are you having phone sex with Namjoon so early in the morning?” He asks.

 “Jimin, I swear to God.”

 He wraps himself in the throw blanket and buries his face back into the couch while you stand and retreat to your bedroom to throw on some semblance of appropriate clothing for the occasion.

 “Fucking Namjoon,” you grumble under your breath as you change into jeans and a sweater. “Fuck him and his stupid, sexy face. And his unbelievable ass. And his stupid, probably enormous penis. Man, I hate him.”

 As you’re re-entering the living room and grabbing your important items (keys, wallet, lip gloss just in-case), Jimin pops his head out of his blanket cave.

 “Where are you going?” He asks, suddenly less annoyed and more pathetic. “You’re leaving me?”

 “I have to go meet Namjoon for coffee. I don’t know why, so don’t ask.”

 “You’re really going to let me suffer here? Alone? With no coffee?”

 You spin around to face your best friend, who’s giving you an absolutely soul-crushing pout and puppy eyes.

 “Yes. Call Yoongi.”

 His precious pout is wiped away, and a devious smirk takes its place.

 “Great idea!” He says as he digs around for his phone. “Be careful out there! It’s icy! Wouldn’t want you to slip and fall on Namjoon’s dick.”

 Your only reply is one singular middle finger in Jimin’s direction as you exit your apartment.

  Namjoon can’t help but smile as he sips his warm coffee. The cafe is warm and bright, despite the chill outside. 

 Things feel peaceful. Tender flakes of snow trickle down outside and frost up the shop’s window. There’s something about this time of year that strikes him down to the core. Something cozy, something warm.

 It’s odd to think this will be his first year not celebrating the holiday alone.

 Even if it is... well, fake. 

 The bell over the door chimes an arrival, and Namjoon can tell by the grumbles and grunts and stomps of snowy boots that it’s you.

 “Over here!” He calls, raising a hand and turning to face you.

 Wow, he thinks. You look gorgeous, even without trying.

 You hurry your way over to the booth and plop yourself on the opposite side, immediately lunging for the obvious mug of coffee waiting for you on the table. You don’t waste a minute gulping the liquid down your throat, then spluttering when you realize it’s still hot.

 “I thought you said it was getting cold!” You cry, airing out your burnt tongue. Namjoon can’t help but imagine that tongue sliding up and down his cock.

 Not now. Wrong time and place to get a boner.

 Namjoon smiles as he sips his cappuccino. 

 “I got you a fresh one.”

 You make a face, but your features soften. As if you’re pleased with the idea that Namjoon cared to freshen up your cup.

 “Oh, well--”, you manage. “Thank you.”

 Namjoon doesn’t reply, but merely tips his head. The silence is thick enough to cut with a knife. Normally, you’re both normally so wound up in aggravating the other that a moment of calm is strange, but not unwelcome.

 “So, why the early morning wake up?” You finally ask, fiddling with the handle of the mug.

 Namjoon settles his cup down.

 “We need to get to know each other. Deep shit, you know. The shit that lovers would know about each other.”

 He notices you, watches as you nibble at your lip. You try hard to hide it behind the mug you lift to your lips, but Namjoon notices. 

 “I’m hoping maybe we could spend the day together,” he adds. “I need to get some Christmas gifts for my family and… well, it’s rather lonely doing it on my own.”

 There’s a slight smile at the ends of your lips.

 “And you needed me at seven thirty in the morning to do that?”

 He stifles a laugh.

 “Like I said, I operate at regular human hours. Even on weekends,” he replies.

 With a dramatic sigh, you agree.

 “Fine,” you say. “I’m an open book. Ask me anything.”

 He watches as you settle into the seat of the booth, hands gripping the warm mug like it’s a personal heater. He notices you’re only wearing jeans and a sweater--no properly warm clothing for the snow storm ahead. He’ll have to fix that, and soon.  

 “What are you doing for Christmas?” He asks.

 You level a look.

 “Spending it pretending to be in love with you.”

 Namjoon can’t help but snort a laugh.

 “I meant after that.”

 You shrug as you settle back into the seat.

 “I don’t like Christmas. I don’t do much other than force Jimin to kiss me under the mistletoe and watch shitty movies with a gallon of boxed wine.”

 “Hmm,” he hums. “You’re sort of a Grinch.”

 A scowl comes over your face.

 “I am not! I just don’t buy into this whole ‘prove how much you love me by buying me things’ shit. It’s a big scheme, I tell you! Capitalist propaganda! They encourage you to spend all your money, and if you don’t, they shame and guilt you by telling you you don’t love your family enough.”

 Namjoon can’t help but laugh as you rant. It’s what makes you such a talented lawyer—your ability to feel a passion so deep within you you’re able to convince a stone-faced jury of your side.

 “Don’t laugh at me!” You cry. “I’m serious! My family doesn’t celebrate, I don’t celebrate. I’d rather just buy gifts for my loved ones when I see something they’d like. Why do we have to put a time of year on it?”

 He shrugs and scooches his mug around the carbonate table.

 “I suppose that makes sense,” he muses. “But you’re still a Grinch. And a Scrooge. You’ll definitely get visited by some Ghosts at midnight.”

 “Ha ha,” you snark sarcastically. “Hilarious, Namjoon. Don’t tell me you’re a big festive guy.”

 “Somewhat. It’s my Mom’s favorite holiday. It’s why she’s so bent out of shape about me having a girlfriend. Something about family and love and shit.”

 You nod, understanding him completely. Your own mother, despite her reservations towards the holiday, still makes a fuss over your single status. There must be some Mom code to obsess over your children’s woeful dating life.

 “Well, I say let’s get on with it then. Ready to hit the shops?” He asks.

 You’re mid-sip of your finally cooled coffee and you send a desperate look to the man in front of you.

“Already?!”

 “We’re burning daylight, baby.”

 Namjoon stands and you can’t help but feel a roar of flames in your belly at the pet-name. Your cheeks are surely flaming up and you admonish yourself for getting so peaked about such a trivial name.

 “Please don’t tell me we’re walking,” you murmur as you sneak a peek outside.

 The snow is falling down harder now, and you’re dreadfully underdressed for the weather.

 Namjoon tsks at your lack of outerwear, but then shakes his head.

 “No, we’ll take my Range Rover.”

 You roll your eyes and grimace.

 “Of course. You have a fucking Nespresso machine and a Range Rover. Asshole.”

 Namjoon doesn’t even think about it as he grabs your hand and laces his fingers in between yours. If anyone asked, he’d say it’s practice—to familiarize himself with the way your fingers slot between his own so it’s not such a foreign concept when he does it in front of his family.

 “Yeah, but I’m your asshole now, princess.”

 Christmas shopping with Namjoon is mostly painless.

 Normally, you dread the lines and the crowds and the confusion and the expense.

 But with Namjoon, you relax and banter away with the tall lawyer. You’re completely at ease as you walk through crowded aisles and sort through racks of cashmere sweaters and stacks of fuzzy blankets.

 “Mom will love this, don’t you think?” Namjoon asks, holding up a thick, exquisite looking blanket.

 You’re about to answer with an affirmative when you catch yourself. You don’t even know his mom. You’ve never met the woman. Why does it feel as if Namjoon is someone you’ve known your entire life? 

 Why do things feel so easy with him?

 “Sure, Namjoon,” you reply. “Seems like something most mother’s would be into.”

 He smiles at you. It’s a genuine smile too, one that nearly knocks you on your ass. Your body is sent into overdrive constantly. He holds your hand, he places his hand at the small of your back to guide you through a thick crowd. He calls you baby and princess and doll.

 It’s confusing.

 It’s amazing.

 You can’t tell if you love it or hate it.

 Namjoon pushes the shopping cart and walks beside you, chatting easily about his various aunts and uncles names that you likely must remember at some point but you just can’t think about anything but Namjoon, Namjoon, Namjoon.

 You hate him. He stole that corner office from you. He’s going to take the promotion you want from right under your nose. He has a goddamn Nespresso in his office and a Range Rover. 

 And yet, you can’t help but fall in place next to him and listen to him tell stories of his childhood, weaving tales of uncles who snuck him his first sips of alcohol and aunts who spoil him rotten. He’s easy to listen to, a natural story-teller. Your body feels warm, as if you’re sitting on a large hearth by a roaring fire. He’s comforting.

 It’s infuriating and wonderful all at once. 

 “And that’s when my cousin Jungkook got caught smoking cigarettes. My grandma beat our ass so bad I couldn’t sit for a day.”

 Namjoon finishes his story and turns to look at you. You’ve been staring at the man for nearly a minute straight now.

 “Hey,” his voice is soft. “You listening?”

 You shake out of the trance Namjoon’s deep voice sends you into.

 “Yeah!” You reply with a smirk. “Sounds like this Jungkook is a guy I’d like to meet.”

 Namjoon sucks his teeth and nudges you.

 “Hey, you’re my girlfriend, remember.”

 You stick your tongue out at him playfully.

 “Fake girlfriend. I’m still a single, desirable lady at the end of the day.”

 Namjoon hesitates before answering. He wants to reply something snarky, something sarcastic and witty. But he takes a moment to pause, allows himself to fully immerse himself in you. Even hungover, in yesterday’s jeans and an old sweater, you’re still an absolute catch. You’re the definition of desirable and Namjoon can’t help but allow himself to desire.

 “Hmm, is that what you call it?” He asks, now allowing the sarcasm to permeate his words. “I was thinking you’re more of the spinster, cat-lady type.”

 “Hey!” You pout as you slap at his arm. “I’m allergic to cats!”

 “But you don’t deny being a spinster.”

 “Fuck you, Namjoon.”

 He grins and pushes the carts towards the candle aisle, a sure-fire gift for his aunties.

 “In due time, my love.”

  By the time Christmas Eve arrives, you’ve spent nearly every day with Namjoon. At work, he brings you fresh coffee from his Nespresso and buys you lunch. You’ve even landed his big case, an incredibly complex lawsuit that will showcase your skills. Namjoon gives you pointers and space to talk through the case with him.

Namjoon is, in fact, simply being kind. And it unsettles you.

 Your heart and brain are at war with each other constantly. You should hate him, loathe him. He’s going to nail that promotion regardless of what you prove to Seokjin.

 But your heart tells you he deserves it. He’s an incredible attorney and has earned every ounce of respect. You want Namjoon to get that promotion just to see that smile on his face. He’d do incredible things as Seokjin’s protege to take over the firm.

 You hate to admit it, but Namjoon has melted the ice around your heart. And you’re dreading the day after all this is over, because it will be the day Namjoon stops holding you close and pressing soft kisses to your temple. It will be the day he stops pretending this is all real.

 It’s Christmas Eve and you’re sitting in Namjoon’s expensive Range Rover, plush leather seat toasty from the built-in seat warmer. You can’t help but marvel at the way the oncoming headlights brighten up Namjoon’s features as he drives you down a snowy mountain lane. They always hold the Kim family holiday party at Namjoon’s late grandfather’s cabin in the mountains, a quiet getaway for the family to gather and spend the night together to wake up on Christmas morning and gather around for presents and food.

 Which means waking up to Kim Namjoon.

 It’s something you’ve dreamt of often, but denied yourself any actual possibility of it. Namjoon was always out of reach, and it was easier to hate him for his success he rightfully deserved than it was to admit the feelings that were always inside.

 And now, although it’s artificial, you can’t bear to think of not spending your time with Namjoon anymore.

 You steal a glance again at him, and smile as you hear his faint humming. He loves Christmas music. You learned that early in the week during another early morning coffee and ‘get to know you’ before work. Namjoon couldn’t stop singing Mariah Carey’s classic pop song under his breath as it played over the speakers in the cafe. 

 “It’s so pretty up here,” you muse as you force your vision away from Namjoon’s gorgeous face to the snowy scenery outside. 

 The snow is falling gently, not enough to cause a blizzard but enough to make it seem like you’re trapped in a picturesque snow-globe. Leaving the city and entering the magical forest stirs an emotion inside you you hadn’t felt in some time.

 It’s Christmas Eve and there’s just something magical.

 Ugh. Unbelievable.

 Namjoon has even made you actually enjoy Christmas.

 He nods. “Yeah, it’s my favorite place in the world, I think.”

 “I can see why,” you sigh. “It looks like a painting.”

 Namjoon glances over at you peering through the window. His heart hammers in his chest hard as your glittering eyes bounce around from tree to tree, a pretty smile on your face. The diamond ring in his pocket feels like it weighs a literal ton and he nibbles at his lip.

 He bought it for the showmanship of it all, initially. It was his first purchase he made when he set up this whole rouse.

 But now, it feels real. It feels like he’s really about to get on one knee and ask you, the girl he’s absolutely head over heels for, to marry him.

 And then it will be over.

 He’ll make up some story to tell his mom about how it didn’t work out and you’ll go back to being his coworker, and nothing more.

 Namjoon can’t fight the sinking feeling in his stomach.

 Nothing more.

 He pulls into the driveway before you even have time to realize you’re there. He puts the car in park and smiles over at you. 

 He looks so cute in his puffy winter coat, hair pushed to the side and a smile that’s all dimples and cheeks.

 Fuck.

 “We’re here,” he whispers. “You ready?”

 Suddenly, the nerves of meeting your fake boyfriend’s entire family slap you right in the face. You hope that you’re a good enough actress to get Namjoon through the night and into the morning.

 “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

 He nods and squeezes your hand, an unspoken comforting ‘I got you’.

 Namjoon gathers his wrapped gifts and stacks them all in his arms, ignoring your pleas and giggles to help carry them in.

 “No, no,” he assures. “I have to make sure my mom sees me being manly and helpful.”

 As if on cue, the front door opens and Mrs. Kim is bursting out into the snowy night.

 “Namjoon!” She shrieks, completely overjoyed. The rest of the family is standing by the door, eyeing you carefully with smiles and whispers. You pray to whatever Christmas God that’s listening that you can do this.

 Namjoon sets the pile of gifts down just in time to wrap his delicate and tiny mother in his arms, hugging her tightly while she gleefully buries her face into her tall son’s chest.

 “Oh, my son, I’ve missed you.”

 Namjoon kisses the crown of her head and smiles.

 “Missed you too, eomma.”

 The scene has you misty-eyed and you swipe at your eyes to stop the tears. There’s no way you’re ruining the fantastic makeup you did for the occasion, but the reunion of Namjoon and his mother is heart-warming. He clearly cares for his mother more than he would outwardly admit. 

 Namjoon and his mother unwrap from each other and Namjoon turns towards you.

 “Everyone, this is ____,” he breathes. “My girlfriend.”

 His mother’s gleeful squeals now turn to you, and within an instant she’s gathering you up in just as tight of a hug as she did to her son.

 “Oh, darling, we are so happy to meet you,” she beams.

 The excitement in her voice makes you feel bad—like you’re conning an old woman out of her retirement. You’re instilling a sense of hope in the kind woman, and you can’t help but send Namjoon a look as you wrap your arms around her and return the embrace. His eyes sparkle with something you can’t read.

 “I’m happy to meet you too,” you smile as you pull apart. “Thank you for letting me come.”

 “No thanks necessary,” she admonishes with a wink. “We had to beg Namjoon to bring you. It seems he wants to keep you all to himself.”

 “Eomma!” Namjoon snaps. “Be appropriate!”

 She nudges you with her elbow knowingly, which makes your cheeks flame hot, before she leads the way back into the house.

 “Come in, come in! Let’s get out of this snow.”

 Namjoon encourages you to step inside with a gentle hand at the small of your back—a touch that makes your body light up brighter than a Christmas tree.

 “Thank you,” he whispers in your ear from behind. You can feel the warmth of his lips and your body reacts.

How is it that any simple act makes you desperately horny for the man? You pray for some respite from your sexual frustration over the next day. How are you going to last over 24 hours?

 Namjoon deposits his massive haul of gifts under the tree and returns to your side, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to bring you close. He introduces you to uncles and aunts and cousins. He even introduces you to his infamous cousin, Jungkook, who smirks at you in a way that makes Namjoon pull you in closer to his body.

 “Are you doing okay?” Namjoon finally asks after the rush of relatives greeting you dies down. He turns you towards him, to face him directly with his hands on either of your shoulders. “You’re killing it.”

 You can’t help but smile. Namjoon’s family is all incredibly kind and funny. They welcome you into the family with ease and it chips away a little more each time at your heart.

 Because this is all fake. 

 One day, Namjoon really will have a girlfriend to bring to Christmas and to show off to his relatives and it won’t be you. You’ll be back at your apartment, watching shitty TV re-runs and binging on Chinese takeout, as you do every year. It’s a jab at your heart each time the bitter truth rears its ugly head.

 “Yeah,” you nod. “I’m great.”

 “Look!” Jungkook shouts. “They’re standing under the mistletoe!”

 Namjoon blushes a shade of red that likely matches a blush on your own cheeks. Sure enough, the green branches of the mistletoe taunt you from above. 

 You’ve never kissed Namjoon before. In all the skinship and closeness of the last week, you’ve still yet to close the gap to kissing the man. 

 “Oh, come on Kook, that’s a stupid tradition,” Namjoon murmurs awkwardly, rubbing at the back of his neck.

 Jungkook smirks as he steps up next to you.

 “Well, if you’re not going to do it, I’d be more than happy to take your place.”

 Jungkook wraps a loose arm around you and gives you a charming smile. He must be very popular with the ladies, you think. That’s a charming smile.

 “Hey!” Namjoon grabs for your hand and tugs you out of Jungkook’s predatory gaze. “She’s my girlfriend.”

 Namjoon looks at you for a moment, assessing your comfort level with everything about to take place. His lips look so inviting, so plush and warm. Now that you’re thinking about kissing him, you can’t help but focus on the way his lips pucker so gently and naturally.

 And then it happens. Namjoon lowers his face towards you and it feels as if the world is in slow-motion. It’s happening.

 The first press of his lips is soft and conservative. You take a split second to register, but instinctively you press against his lips with determination and wrap your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss.

 He groans softly as you trail your tongue out to seek purchase in his mouth, and he opens for you without hesitation. His hands grip at your waist and bring your body flush against his. You can feel his cock twitching and rising from the kiss that’s gone from innocent and playful to passionate and deep. It feels like the world around you has stopped and the only thing that matters is Namjoon, his mouth, his body against your own. He tastes like hot chocolate and peppermint, and you want more, more.

 “Oh my god, stop,” Jungkook’s voice shatters your illusion of being all alone with Namjoon. “Now you’re just showing off.”

 Namjoon pulls away from you, eyes dazed as he tries to right himself. 

 “You two are just so perfect for each other,” Namjoon’s mother says, who’s suddenly appeared in Jungkook’s place. “Let me show you your bedroom.”

 “Oh, we’re sharing?” You ask without thought. It’s a large house, with ample bedrooms surely for you to have your own space.

 Namjoon nudges you in the ribs gently, eyes widening and mouthing a ‘what the fuck do you mean?’ 

 “Of course dear, don’t be silly,” his mother replies with an eyebrow waggle and a chuckle. “I remember when your father and I were dating. He would sneak into my room after my parents went to bed and keep me up all night long. Your grandfather would ask me if I had terrible dreams that night, because I looked so tired.”

 Namjoon makes a face. “Eomma, please,” he begs. “Please don’t talk about my parents like that.”

 As his mother guides you down a long hallway, your mind is whirring with too many thoughts of Namjoon, of sharing a bedroom with Namjoon, of seeing his sleeping face and waking up next to him. It’s all too much, too overwhelming. You pray there’s a couch in the room you could sleep on, because you’re far too weak and you’d rather fight the desperation in your body than face the fact that you want nothing more than to curl right into Namjoon’s strong arms and let him hold you all night to sleep.

 Fuck.

 “Here we are!” 

 His mother opens the door with grace, and flicks on the light. The room is beautiful in its simplicity. A king sized bed, a fireplace, and a balcony with a view of the sprawling snowy scene outside. It’s cozy and warm and decorated with its own Christmas tree.

 “Wow,” is all you can muster.

 “Aish, Mom,” Namjoon sighs as he drops his bags. “You didn’t need to do all of this for us.”

 Mrs. Kim holds his hand in both of hers. “Well, I know how special this Christmas is going to be,” she winks. “I want you to enjoy your time here. Now, I’ll leave you two alone for a bit. Dinner is in an hour, so ‘freshen up’!”

Another wink, and Namjoon makes another face. She definitely wants grandchildren, that much is for certain.

 She closes the door behind her and you’re left standing in the room, overnight bag in hand.

 “This is—Wow, this is amazing.”

 You’ve never experienced Christmas like this—with decorations and warmth and family. It’s as if the love of the Kim family permeates the very walls of the expansive cabin, like it’s built into the foundation itself. For a moment, you allow yourself to soak it all in. This is all yours. It’s your Christmas and you finally understand why so many make such a fuss over it. The results are nothing short of remarkable.

 “Yeah, she really does the most,” Namjoon laughs. 

 He takes the bag from your hand without your notice and you step towards the balcony to peer into the night. The landscape looks as if everything has been covered in soft marshmallow. The snow is untouched—picture perfect.

 “I’ve never had anything like this before.”

 Namjoon settles your bag and his on the bed, watching as you soak in your own wonder. The smile on your face is not one he sees often, one of pure joy. Namjoon swallows hard as he realizes he wants to be the one to always put that smile on your face.

 “Not such a Scrooge after all, eh?”

 You turn from the still-life view outside and back to Namjoon, where he stands at the foot of the bed. He looks so different outside the office. He’s wearing skinny jeans and a flannel shirt, his puffy jacket hanging by the door. No cream suit, no slicked back hair or shoes shiny enough to see your reflection. Just simply Namjoon.

 He’s no longer the man who steals the limelight in the office. He’s no longer the man you see as your adversary or your rival.

 He’s the man who’s showing you the magic of Christmas, the spirit of love and kindness that embodies the season.

 He’s the man you’ve fallen in love with.

 And yet, he’s the man who will leave once this is over and return to his proper life, and you to yours. He’ll return to sleeping with models and movie starlets, and you’ll return to binge watching Great British Bake-Off with Jimin and a carton of Chicken Tikka Masala.

 And Christmas will never feel as special as it does now. 

 So, you’re determined to soak in it for a little longer. It’s going to hurt regardless, so why not push that hurt off until tomorrow and allow yourself to pretend you live the lie you’re spinning for Namjoon’s family?

 “I think I’ll just freshen up and change into my dinner outfit, then?” You ask out loud, grabbing for your overnight bag and heading towards the ensuite.

 Namjoon, who expected a witty retort, takes a moment to reply.

 “Oh,” he coughs. “Yeah, sure. I’ll err—, I’ll just get ready out here.”

 You quickly escape into the bathroom, closing the door and resting on it as you exhale a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

 The tension in the bedroom with Namjoon was too thick, too powerful, especially after the kiss you just shared. His cock had been there, straining in his jeans as you licked into his mouth. The kiss felt so natural, as if you had always kissed Namjoon like that. Your heart beats loud and hard in your chest just from the thought of it.

 You really needed to get a handle over yourself. You still have dinner to get through, and an entire night in a bedroom with Namjoon. A bed with Namjoon.

 No, you won’t allow yourself to go that far. You can pretend you’re his girlfriend, but all thoughts of his delectable body doing scintillating things to yours is strictly off-limits. You shake all thoughts of a thick, heavy cock sliding into your mouth and warm hands spreading you open, and set about fixing your makeup and changing into the gorgeous cocktail dress you purchased for the occasion. It wasn’t often you got to get dressed up. The emerald green velvet dress clings to your body and highlights your curves. It’s a sexy dress, definitely, but also appropriate for a formal evening with your boyfriend’s parents.

 Well, your fake boyfriend. Right.

 After fixing your hair and buckling your heels, you take one last glimpse in the mirror for good luck and exit the room.

 Your breath is nearly knocked out of your lungs as you see Namjoon. 

You’ve seen him dressed up for court and for TV appearances millions of times, but you’ve never seen him like this.

 He wears a blood red button up without a tie, a few buttons open to emphasize the casual look, tucked into the tightest and sexiest slacks you’ve ever seen. They hug his thighs and sit at a spot on his waist that you just know is rippling with cut lines from his work in the gym. His hair is tucked back with a bit of hairspray, and he’s fixing the sleeves of his shirt when he sees you.

 His eyes widen and his hands fall to his sides as he soaks in your appearance.

 An absolute vision.

 He can see the gentle valley between your breasts and the way your dress pushes up your cleavage and displays your collar.  The dress follows the delicate curve of your waist and hips and ends at your knee, but teases him with a glimpse of thigh that has him wiping his mouth in case he’s drooling. 

 “You look incredible,” Namjoon murmurs as you step closer.

“So do you.”

 You swallow hard as he continues closer to you, breathing harshly as he stands right in front of you. You could reach out and unbuckle his expensive slacks and fist his cock right there. You’d fall on your knees for him, if he asked.

 There’s a moment of silence as Namjoon’s face inches closer and closer to your own, each unable to verbalize just how desperate either of you feel for the other.

 “Namjoon, I—,” you start. You want to tell him. You want to tell him everything—that you don’t want this to be fake, that you want this to be real, and you want to be his and his forever.

 “Yes?”

 You swallow hard, shaken by just how close his lips are to yours. He’s inches away and all you can focus on is the way his plush lips look and how well they fit against your own under the mistletoe.

 “I just—, I really um, I’m just very…” 

 You’re not making sense. Comprehension of language is quickly soaring out the window because the only words you know are ‘Please, for the love of God, kiss me and make me yours’, but you can’t bring yourself to speak them out loud.

 Namjoon’s hand cups your cheek, as if he can tell what you’re trying to say.

 “Yeah,” he breathes. The inches between you turn to centimeters, to bare millimeters. Your eyes flutter close as you feel his breath dance over your lips and your heart beats so loud you’re sure the entire household can hear it. He’s right there and moves in to close the distance—

 “Knock Knock!!”

 The forceful, cheery voice of cousin Jungkook forces both of you to jump away from each other as if you’ve touched a burning stove. Your head feels light, like you’ve forgotten to breathe for the last ten minutes and you’ve suddenly taken in too much air.

 The wooden door squeaks open and Jungkook pokes his head in, a shit-eating grin on his face.

 “Auntie sent me to get you. It’s dinnertime!”

 Namjoon rubs his face frustratedly. “Yes, thank you, Jungkook.”

 Jungkook doesn’t leave, however. He smiles at you and winks. 

“Would you like an escort to dinner, madame? You look tastier than the roast beef downstairs.”

 A blush creeps over your cheeks as Namjoon storms to the door where his cousin laughs.

 “That’s enough, Kook. We’ll be down in a minute.”

 He sends you one more grin, then retreats from the door and closes it behind him.

 “Sorry about that,” Namjoon apologizes. You’re not sure what he’s apologizing for—Jungkook, or the moment before.

 “It’s alright. Let’s go?”

 Namjoon nods and holds out his hand with a smile.

 “Let’s go, girlfriend.”

  Dinner with the Kim family is as delightful as every other interaction with them has been. They’re polite and funny and ask questions about your life and your family.

 They ask how you met Namjoon (at work), what your favorite quality about him is (his smile and his ass), and what your first date together was (coffee at seven in the morning).

 You tell stories of Namjoon in the office, of your best friend Park Jimin who’s secretly trying to date the IT manager, of your parents and Christmases past.

 By the time dessert is served, Namjoon’s mother looks at you as if you’ve put the very stars in the sky.

 Namjoon doesn’t miss that look either. He can see the way his family is falling in love with you and somewhere deep in his stomach, he feels the guilt rising. All of this is a lie. Not only is he going to break his own heart, but every heart of his family member’s too. 

 “We’re all just so overjoyed that Namjoon has found someone to share his life with,” his mom speaks softly. It’s the first time she’s been thoughtful and quiet. She’s a woman who’s larger than life, you’ve found, so the softness in her tone strikes a chord. “You’re absolutely perfect for him. I’ve never seen him happier.”

 Fuck. 

 “Thank you,” you murmur sincerely to his mother. “I’ve never been happier.”

 Namjoon peers up from where he’s been pushing around his uncle’s famous chocolate cake on his plate to watch as you speak.

 “Truthfully, I never cared much for Christmas. I thought it was a rubbish holiday and spent it alone every year with a bottle of wine and some takeout. Namjoon really changed that for me,” you smile at the man and place your hand in his lap to hold his free hand. “He showed me more about Christmas in one week than I’ve felt in my entire life.”

 Namjoon’s mom wipes away an errant tear and he squeezes your hand under the table.

 “I guess the Grinch’s heart has grown 3 sizes, after all.”

 Namjoon’s joke lightens the soft mood, and suddenly there’s chatter around as the family members move about to wash dishes and clean up the mess of dinner. Everyone leaves the table except for you and Namjoon.

 “That was some good acting,” he whispers with a sad smile.

 “Right,” you whisper back, nibbling your lip anxiously. “Acting, of course.”

  You should have thought through the bedroom sharing thing more.

 Because sharing a bedroom is one thing.

 And sharing a bed is another.

 And of course, the only pajamas you thought to bring tonight is a very sexy long shirt that says “no coffee, no talking” with a bedazzled pair of shushing lips. That’s it. Just a single shirt. Not even a pair of shorts or pajama pants.

 You slip into the bed first, as far onto one side of it as possible. It’s a king sized bed, and it still feels too intimate, too close.

 Namjoon exits the bathroom after his shower, rubbing at his wet hair with a towel. He’s shirtless, wearing only a pair of flannel pajamas, leaving his bare chest on display.

 Sweet lord in heaven, you nearly cry out loud. He’s absolutely ripped, pecs defined and droplets of water from his hair streaming down. You want to chase each drop with your tongue and circle back again. You shut your eyes tight and clench your teeth. Why, oh why, does he have to look so fucking sexy at a time like this?

 Namjoon sees you at the edge of the bed, shutting your eyes closed like you’re a shy schoolgirl afraid to see a naked man’s body. He feels guilty for making you be here. He knows you’ve likely got better things to do than spend time with a man you openly hate.

 “I’m sorry,” he apologizes for nothing in particular. 

 You ignore it. Instead, you’re trying to think of every un-sexy thing in the world you can possibly imagine. Taxes, a bunch of bees, old people, shark attacks.

 There’s absolutely nothing that can stop the image of Namjoon’s perfectly sculpted body from bursting into your mind. You’re nearly pleading with yourself to just go to sleep and contemplate how hard you’d need to hit your head to knock yourself out as fast as possible.

 “I’ll sleep on the floor,” he says as he grabs a small throw blanket from the closet and throws it to the ground by the fire.

 It snaps you from your musings of how best to forget how badly you want to suck Namjoon’s cock through his pajama pants.

 “What?” You sit up in the posh bed and finally make eye-contact. “Why? It’s freezing. There’s a literal snowstorm outside.” You motion to the window of the balcony. What was once a gentle snowfall is now a full-on winter storm.

 “There’s a fire. I’ll be fine, I sleep hot anyway.” Namjoon’s voice is low and without energy. He almost sounds sad.

 God, is being with you that hard for him? You know you’re just the artificial replacement until he has the real thing, but you’d actually hoped Namjoon had found it as comforting and warm as you had.

 “Namjoon,” you sigh. “This is a king-sized bed. You don’t need to be waking up with back pain because you gallantly slept on the floor.”

 To emphasize your point, you tug back the blankets on the other side, beckoning him to join.

 He hesitates for a moment, as if he’s weighing the pro’s and con’s and sliding into bed next to you in his mind, then stands and pads his way on the plush carpet towards the bed and slips in.

 There’s an entire football field of distance between you two in the bed, but it feels like he’s right beside you. You imagine sliding in right next to him, wrapping your arms around his taut chest and pressing soft kisses to his stomach.

 You squeeze your eyes closed again. Stop it, you horny slut.

 “Thank you, again.” Namjoon breaks the silence. “I really appreciate you helping me out.”

 “Yeah,” you swallow hard. “Of course. What else was I going to do? Jimin’s probably sucking Yoongi’s dick right now, so I’d be watching baking shows alone.”

 Namjoon laughs for a moment, then quiets.

 “You know, I don’t even really want that promotion at work.”

 You’re surprised by the sudden change in topic, but you turn over to face Namjoon.

“What?! Really?”

 Namjoon nods and stares at the ceiling. “I don’t think I’m that good of an attorney to get it, anyway.”

 His statement makes you sit up in bed again, staring at the man in disbelief.

 “Are you fucking kidding me, Namjoon? You’re the best lawyer in the firm.”

 Namjoon says nothing, just turns to stare at you curiously as you continue.

 “You’re like… literally better than Seokjin, too. The way you handled the Taehyung case was nothing short of historical. Like, that was an impossible case, and you nailed it. That was your ‘OJ’ case, you know?”

 Namjoon barks a laugh.

 “My what?”

 “Your OJ case!” You use your hands to emphasize the importance of what you’re saying. “Like, they’ll write about you and how impossible the odds were of winning that case. And you won it! Not even Seokjin could have won that case.”

 He’s silent again, watching as you speak directly from your heart with all the fire and passion you feel about the things you care about. It’s what makes you such an incredible lawyer, too.

 “Wow,” he breathes. “Thank you.”

 You settle back down from your excitement, suddenly bashful at how fanatical you became.  

 “You’re welcome,” you murmur. “You deserve that promotion. And the office.”

 Namjoon smirks.

 “And the Nespresso?”

 Your eyes narrow and send a glare to him he can see even with the faintest of light in the room.

 “No, no one deserves the Nespresso, except for me.”

 He chuckles and settles down into his pillows.

 “Goodnight,” he whispers.

 “Goodnight, Namjoon.”

 There’s a beat of silence and your eyes flutter shut easily. It’s quiet, and all you can hear is the crackle of the log in the fireplace and the wind blowing past the balcony windows as the storm outside rages.

 “Oh,” Namjoon whispers again. “And, Merry Christmas.”

 You can’t fight the smile that creeps onto your face.

 “Merry Christmas, Joonie.”

  “Happy Christmas!” A voice bellows through your bedroom at approximately seven fifteen am.

 You groan, immediately grimacing and burying your face into your firm, warm pillow.

 “Nooooo,” you whine, trying to hide from the offending noise.

 Namjoon shakes awake, and notices Jungkook standing at the bedroom door once again.

“It’s time for presents!” He giddily explains. “And, they gave me the job of waking you two up.”

 “Of course,” Namjoon yawns.

 “You look a little wrapped up,” Jungkook smirks, eyeing your sleeping body. “I’ll give you two a minute. Don’t get distracted.”

 Namjoon rolls his eyes and watches as the door closes, before he turns his attention towards you.

 Somehow, in the middle of the night, you’ve scooched yourself to his side of the bed and draped your body around his. Your face is buried in his chest and your legs are haphazardly intertwined in his own.

 He bites his lip. His cock is rock solid, not just from his usual morning wood, but from the way he can feel your tits through your shirt, and from the sight of your pink panties. Namjoon wants to take them off with his teeth and bury his face in your delicious cunt, and his cock is nearly screaming at him to get on with it.

 “Hey,” he whispers to you, actively ignoring the demon that is his turgid length. “Wake up.”

 This causes you to cling harder to his chest, rubbing your sleepy face on him.

 “What is it with you and early mornings?” You ask, blearily raising your head to peer at him judgementally.

 Namjoon bites his lip, curious about your reaction to the tight embrace you’ve got on him. He doesn’t want to say anything, doesn’t want to break the spell. Frankly, he wants to push your sleep shirt up and stuff you full of his cum.

 “Merry Christmas?” He offers shyly.

 You take a full minute to recognize what’s happening.

 You’re no longer on your edge of the bed. You’re wrapped around the man like a koala, legs strewn over him without care and clinging to him like he’s a lifeline.

 “Oh!” You gasp as you jerk out of his grasp. 

 In your movement, your leg brushes over an obvious tent in Namjoon’s pants, making him groan softly. You shut your eyes, embarrassed at how disgustingly horny you are for the man who’s not even interested in you sexually.

 “Christ, I’m so sorry,” your cheeks flame bright red and you scoot further from him.

 “No, no, don’t be,” Namjoon wheezes as he tries to fix himself. “It’s fine. It’s more than fine. It’s great. It happens. Don’t worry.”

 He continues to stammer out reassurances as he leaves the bed and bolts into the bathroom to fix his unruly tented pants, leaving you sitting atop the bed washed with shame.

 “Fucking hell,” you whisper to yourself as you rub at your cheeks. “Get a grip of yourself.”

 Inside the bathroom, it only takes Namjoon a few fisted jerks of his cock and the mental image of you beneath him, begging for him, until he’s silently cumming on an expensive towel. He bites his free hand to stifle the moans he makes as his cock pulses.

 By the time he arrives back in the bedroom, you’ve changed into a hoodie and yoga leggings that accentuate your ass so delectably that Namjoon thinks about turning right back into the bathroom for a second round.

 “I’m sorry!” You nearly shout when he walks into the room. “About the bed. You were warm and I was cold. That’s all.”

 Nmajoon simply nods, doesn’t want to have to explain how he wishes he could wake up like that every day. Doesn’t want to describe in vivid detail how he’d wake you up with his tongue buried deep in your cunt.

 “Let me grab a shirt and we’ll head out, yeah?”

 Your eyes dance over the defined ridges of his body, a little crest-fallen at the idea that this might be the last time you see him shirtless, but you nod anyway.

 “Yeah.”

The ring box sits in a deceptively large box beneath the tree. Namjoon wrapped it last night and hide it at the very back. His heartbeat hammers in his ears as his family passes around gifts and opens each with squeals of delight.

 His mother gave him new ties for the office, ones that Namjoon prefers. She’s even gifted you with jewelry, which makes your eyes water at the sentiment.

 It all begins to be too much. It’s harder and harder to hold back the tears as each of Namjoon’s family members gives you gifts. It doesn’t matter the value, not at all. The fact that they specifically set out to include you in their gift-unwrapping makes your heart snap in two.

 This is all too much, it’s too real.

 It’s everything you never dreamed you could have. A loving partner who lets you sit in the space of his legs and rubs your arms soothingly. A family who goes out of their way to include you in the abundance of love and company. A cabin so warm and cozy.

 The tears don’t stop.

 It’s at the end of the gift exchange that you finally allow yourself to breathe. 

 “There’s one more,” Namjoon whispers as he moves from behind you and fetches a large box from behind the tree. “It’s for you, princess.”

 Curiously, and suspiciously, you eye him as he sets the enormous gift in your lap. You had done nearly all his Christmas shopping with him, and can’t remember a single thing he would have gotten for you.

 “I hope it’s the Nespresso from your office,” you snark with a smile. His family members all laugh and exchange knowing looks to each other.

 Namjoon doesn’t think he can breathe. He watches as you begin to carefully unwrap the large box, which reveals another box, slightly smaller. He can’t help but grin as you continue to unwrap the nesting-doll style gift until you’re down to the smallest one, the one that holds the ring box.

 With one last tear of paper, your eyes widen as you recognize the velvet box.

 “Oh--,” you breathe as you delicately pry open the gift.

 Inside sits a dazzling and gorgeous diamond ring. It catches the light from the fire and sparkles like a firecracker.

 “Oh my god,” you whimper as the tears flow again.

 He’s proposing.

 Namjoon settles himself onto one knee and tucks an errant piece of hair behind your ears.

 “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I knew from day one that you were always the girl I wanted to marry,”

 Namjoon’s speech sends daggers to your heart. He’s so convincing for something so counterfeit. 

 “I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember, much longer than we’ve been together. You’re who I want to come home to every night, and who I want to wake up with every morning.”

 It hurts. It hurts so badly that you’re crying even harder as he continues to speak. His family must think you’re simply overcome with emotion and love that the crying doesn’t give it away, but inside you’re absolutely dying.

 There’s no way you can recover from this.

 Tomorrow, Namjoon will take the ring back to where he got it from and return to what he had before. He’ll leave you behind, broken and hopelessly in love with a man who faked a relationship so well that you fell for it, hard.

 “____, will you marry me?”

 You take several large, gulping gasps to reply. You can’t shatter the illusion. Namjoon’s parents are weeping with joy, while his relatives record the moment on their phones and wipe away errant tears. Even Jungkook looks soft, proud of his cousin for taking the next step in his life.

 Oh, how you wish this were all real.

 “Yes,” you lie with a smile. “Yes, Namjoon, of course!”

 Namjoon grins and pulls you to standing, gathering you in his arms as he hugs you tight. His family cheers and hollers in the background, and you sob into his shoulder as you cling to him.

 He easily slides the diamond ring out of the box and onto your finger, where it sits and taunts you. The weight is heavy, and you whimper at the realization that this will never be for you. It will sit atop a pretty model’s finger sometime soon, when Namjoon resumes his regular life.

 “Oh, my darlings, I am so happy for you!” Namjoon’s mother appears and wraps you both in a hug, weeping and kissing cheeks. “We must discuss planning!”

 It’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back. The tears and weeping turn to wracking sobs, which quiets the family as they watch you hold your face in your hands.

 “I’m sorry,” you apologize through your grief. “I—I just need a moment.”

 Without another word, you turn from the scene and bolt back towards the bedroom.

 It’s silent and Namjoon’s heart sinks. 

 This must be too much for you, too much for you to pretend to love him. He knew it was too much and he should have discussed it with you beforehand.

 “She’s just a little err--,” Namjoon tries. “Easily emotional. I’ll go check on her.”

 His family understands as Namjoon hurries towards the bedroom and gently opens the door.

 You’re sitting over your overnight bag, trying to shove any clothing into it you can, while you sob openly.

 “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I should have told you. I sort of... told my mom I’d be proposing to my girlfriend.”

 There’s pain in your eyes as you snap your head up to look at him. It nearly destroys him.

 “You should have warned me!” You gasp. “Namjoon, I can’t do this.”

 Namjoon lowers his head and shoves his hands into his pockets of his pajama pants.

 “I get it. I know you want to go back to your regular life. I can take you home now.”

 You’re silent for a moment, standing and moving towards the man.

 “Don’t you get it, Namjoon?”

 He raises his head to look at you curiously, brow knitted together with confusion.

 “I’m in love with you, you asshole!” You cry, pushing at his chest. “I can’t continue to pretend this is real anymore. I love you, I absolutely love you and I can’t go on watching you pretend you love me too. It’s too much for me to handle.”

 Namjoon’s world freezes in time as he watches you slide the ring off your finger. He grasps your hand to stop you, his eyes boring into your own.

 “I never had to pretend.”

 Before you can speak, Namjoon cups your cheek and pulls you in close, mouth sealing over your own in a desperate kiss.

 You don’t fight it, not at all. You sink into his grasp and kiss him back with fervor, with all the pent-up emotions you’ve held back all this time.

 “I’m in love with you,” he whispers as he pulls away from the kiss. “I meant every single word I said.”

 More tears stream down your cheeks, and Namjoon is quick to wipe them away with his thumb.

 “I know it’s maybe too soon for us to really be engaged, but I—I want that, with you,” he adds. “I want you to be my girlfriend… for real.”

 “Are you being serious right now?” You ask as your hands cling to Namjoon’s waist.

 He can’t help but to laugh, nodding in reassurance as he leans down to press his lips to yours in a tender kiss.

 “Never been more serious in my life.”

 “I can’t believe you’re mine,” Joon murmurs into the nape of your neck.

 You were supposed to be driving home to your apartment now, back to real life, but the snowstorm raged on and Namjoon decided it might be best to spend yet another night in the cabin. Together. As a couple. A real couple.

 You didn’t put up much of a fight.

 He’s pressing soft kisses into your tender skin as he closes the door to the bedroom.

  “All mine, all mine.” He chants it like a mantra. 

 You’re trying to maneuver your way into the dark bedroom, only guided by the light from the fireplace. Namjoon stops you and pulls away from your neck, eyes soaking in every inch of you.

 “You have no idea what I’ve been dying to do to you,” he speaks after a moment of appreciating your beauty.

 “Hmm, I think I have some idea,” you say, a finger at Namjoon’s chest, directing him towards the bed. “I’ve been dying to suck your cock, Joon,” you whisper in his ear as he makes his way backwards. “Will you let me?”

 Namjoon nods in a daze as he sits on the edge of the bed and watches as you kneel. Your eyes are full of hope, full of lust. It makes his cock harden further.

 “Please do,” he breathes. “I’ve wondered what you’d look like with your mouth full of my dick.”

 You smile as you tug at his flannel pajama pants, pulling them down thick thighs and calves until they’re completely off. Your mouth waters at the sight before you. Namjoon’s cock is thick, head weeping with pre-cum and straining hard against his taut chest. He’s been working out more, you can tell. His arms are full and strong, and his chest is so firm and defined. 

 He’s an entire three-course meal.

 Before you move closer to his cock, Namjoon stops you.

 “Take your shirt off.”

 You comply easily, already settling well into an obedient role. He discards the shirt to the side and marvels at your breasts. He can’t wait to mark them up, suck them until you’re crying.

 “Perfect,” he sighs. “You’re fucking perfect.”

 He allows you to resume your work, eyeing the length of his cock before wrapping a hand around it and gently pumping.

 “Shit,” he breathes as his head falls back. “I’ve dreamt about how it’d feel having my cock in your hands.”

 “What else have you dreamed about?” You ask with a teasing smile, bringing your lips to the tip to paint tiny stripes. He tastes salty, somewhat earthy, and the pre-cum that’s gathered at the top gets swept up by your tongue. 

 Namjoon can’t believe how lucky he is. Can’t believe how incredible it feels to have you here, licking at his cock like a lollipop. He’s enchanted by the way your delicate tongue swirls around his head, testing and teasing.

 “You look so good, princess,” he whispers as he tucks stray hair behind your ears. 

 You’re encouraged by his sweet-talk and soon descend to take his cock fully in as far as you can go. You’re definitely out of practice, but you steel yourself up to take him completely to the back of your throat. Namjoon’s desperate moans and cursing only encourages you further.

 Soon enough, you’ve started a rhythm of bobbing your head and swirling your tongue and pumping your hand down his thick length. The noises leaving your mouth are sinful—slurping and sucking and whining around him. Namjoon’s got a hand on the back of your head, holding your hair in a makeshift ponytail and coaxing your bouncing head further down his cock.

 “Oh, shit, baby,” he grits through a tight jaw. “I’m gonna cum baby girl, fuuuuckkk—oh god, yes baby, just like that.”

 You slurp and swallow around his cock as much as you can, head bobbing at a frantic pace while you cast your eyes upwards to the man to watch him come apart. He meets your eye contact and loses it at the fire burning in your beautiful eyes.

 “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he gasps as his cock pulses. “Cumming, baby—ohhhh, shit, take it all, baby.”

 After slowing your pace completely, you sweetly moan around his length as his salty cum splatters on your tongue. Bringing Namjoon to climax with your mouth is already one of your favorite hobbies, and you’re desperate to do it again.

 When he’s completely spent in your mouth, you pop off carefully and present your tongue to your boyfriend, who smiles.

 “You gonna swallow my cum, baby girl?” He asks, cupping your cheek sweetly.

 You nod in reply, and he groans as he watches you close your mouth and visibly swallow his load.

 “Fuck, that was so hot. Fucking kiss me already,” he demands, pulling you up gently by the hand and pressing his mouth to yours. He doesn’t care if he can taste himself still lingering in your mouth. In fact, he thinks your mouth should always taste like him.

 Namjoon holds you close as he kisses you, tongue diving around and seeking purchase in your mouth. His hands are roaming your body, cupping your breasts and caressing your curves. He can’t get enough. He doesn’t think there will come a time in his life when he won’t love touching you.

 His hand smoothes over the satin of your panties and he smirks into the kiss as he feels how wet they are.

 “Oh my,” he tuts as he rubs at your clothed slit. “All this from sucking my cock, princess?”

 It’s too late to be ashamed of it. You simply nod and whimper as his thick fingers rub at your core. You’re dying to feel those fingers inside you, scissoring you open to prepare you for his massive cock.

 “P-please,” you gasp, needing more of him. “Please, Joon.”

 He lets out a breath of contentment, loving the way his name sounds in your breathy moans. In one quick swoop, he flings your panties off and onto the floor and slides down to his knees where you knelt moments before.

 “I want to see this pretty pussy up close,” he murmurs as he lays you out at the edge and spreads open your thighs as wide as he can. 

 You’re gorgeous, absolutely mouth-watering. He licks his lips as he watches your folds drip with arousal and takes a delicate finger to trace the slit gently.

 “Fuck,” you gasp as he swirls his finger around your sensitive clit. It’s been so long since someone else has made you orgasm, you’re sure you won’t last a second with the man of your sexual dreams face-first in your cunt.

 “This is my pussy now,” he states as he leans in close and licks a fat stripe from your hole to your clit. “I’m going to make you cum every fucking night, baby. Gonna claim this cunt as my own.”

 You’re trembling from his words and his actions as he soon buries his face into your pussy and eats as if he’s a man starved. His tongue swirls around your hole before swiping up to your clit, making your back arch and keen off the bed. His lips wrap around your throbbing clit and sucks gently, lewd noises echoing off the walls of the bedroom.

 “Namjoon!” You squeal as he slides two of his fingers inside you and slowly pumps. They’re thick and perfect, and they’re better than you could have ever dreamed.

 “Cum for me, baby,” he coaxes as he licks at your clit. “I know you want to.”

 He’s right. You’re desperate for it and the string inside your belly that tightens with each thrust of his solid fingers has it nearing a snapping point.

 Namjoon speeds up, adds a third finger and fucks into you like a man on a mission. He watches your face pinch in agonized delight and is hypnotized by the way your tits bounce with each thrust up. His cock is rock solid again, aching to bury itself deep inside your womb and coat you with his cum.

 “That’s it, baby girl,” he breathes as he watches your body quiver. “Cum on my fingers, let daddy see you fall apart.”

 He presses his lips to your clit one last time and sucks, and it sends you reeling over the edge into bliss. Namjoon moans as he feels your cunt convulse and squeeze his fingers as if they’re his cock, and he nearly whines at how good it’s going to feel when he’s balls deep inside of you.

 “Fuck!” You cry as your back lifts off the bed and your legs shake. “Oh, my god!”

 Namjoon kitten licks at your pussy as you come down, cleaning up the juices that coat his fingers. He doesn’t break eye contact with you as he does it, sucking up your essence like it’s an expensive wine he won’t waste a drop of.

 “You’re so fucking sexy,” he says as you try to catch your breath. “I can’t wait to fuck you in my office.”

 The smile on your face turns lustful as you spread your legs open once again and present yourself to him.

 “Why don’t we practice right now?”

 Namjoon grips the base of his cock and gives himself a few pumps as he stares at your gorgeous body—laid out and ready for him.

 “Merry Christmas to me,” he murmurs as he presses a kiss to your lips and lines himself up.

 In one swift motion, he slips inside your juicy channel and buries himself to the hilt. You’re so wet and warm and tight that Namjoon falters and groans out loud.

 “Holy shit,” he cries. “Sweetest fucking pussy I’ve ever felt in my life.”

 Namjoon filling you up to the brim is something you’ve only ever dreamt of, and now that it’s happening you feel intoxicated. He’s so thick inside you, stretching you past what you thought you could handle, and the burn is so sweet.

 “Fuck me, Joon,” you beg as he continues to still inside you. “Please, fuck me, daddy.”

 It’s the magic word for Namjoon and instantly he’s snapped back to feral, ready to claim you as his own. He grips your hips tightly as he pumps in and out of you, delighted by the squelching juicy sounds of your cunt as he takes you.

 “That’s right, baby girl, I’m your fucking daddy,” he grunts. “Take this fat cock for daddy.”

 Your legs quiver with each thrust and Namjoon sucks a nipple into his mouth, nibbling gently on the bud which makes your body thrum with electricity. He’s marking you, claiming you inside and out, you realize. You whine and keen for him to continue, and Namjoon growls as he doubles his pace. 

 He thrusts into you without abandon, desperately seeking his release that will have him spilling his cum anywhere he possibly can.

 “Mmm, look at my pretty princess,” he groans as he stares at your blissed-out face. “Taking daddy’s cock so good, being a perfect little slut.”

 His words make your eyes roll back into your head. You’d never had someone speak so nasty to you while being so kind and praise-worthy that you don’t think you can now ever live without it.

 “G-gonna cum, daddy!” you cry as you feel your body nearing the edge. “Please let me cum!”

 Namjoon gasps for air and drops a thumb to your clit to rub circles on the sensitive bundle.

 “Yes, baby girl, cum for daddy. Cum on my cock, princess.”

 Namjoon’s unrelenting pace and thumb handily stroking your clit brings you to the end, sending you screaming into orgasmic delight.

 Namjoon nearly weeps at how good your cunt feels convulsing around his cock, walls coaxing him and gripping him tight as if your pussy is begging for his own release. 

 “Cum inside me daddy, please,” you beg as you try to catch your breath. 

 Namjoon needs no more permission. He gasps as your channel tightens around him impossibly and sends him into his own release. He whimpers as his cock pulses with ferocity, loads of cum splattering your walls.

 He doesn’t pull out. Instead, he rests his sweaty forehead on yours as you both try to catch your breath.

 “Holy shit,” you gasp as you feel yourself returning to Earth.

 Namjoon laughs and presses a kiss to your lips, before nodding.

 “Yeah,” is all he can manage.

 After a few shuddering breaths, you wrap your arms around your boyfriend’s naked body and hold him close, as close as you can.

 “If this is what Christmas is all about, sign me up.”

 Namjoon buries his face into your neck and kisses you sweetly, before lifting and giving you a playful smile.

 “I guess all Scrooge needed was a good fuck. Dickens got that part all wrong.”

Returning to work after the New Year was easier this year than it had ever been in your career.

 Namjoon was given the promotion. He told Seokjin he wanted to keep his corner office near you because he “likes the view”, and that he would give all his top cases to the best lawyer in the office—you.

 Jimin won’t stop screaming when he sees the diamond ring on your finger. You haven’t wanted to take it off since the moment you put it on. Maybe it’s not an engagement ring quite yet, maybe it’s just more of a promise. Either way, Jimin is ecstatic and confused as he shakes you down for answers.

 He walks with you to your desk, chattering away about his week with Yoongi, while you sip your convenience store coffee.

 “What the fuck?” Jimin asks as he notices something on your desk. “What is that?”

 As you round the corner, your eyes catch sight of a gleaming silver contraption on your desk, right next to your brand new computer.

 A Nespresso.

 A smile crosses your lips as you approach the expensive machine and notice a folded up card on top.

 Inside, the card is simple.

 “To the only girl in the world who deserves a Nespresso. Love, Namjoon.”

taglist - @ardoren​ @devilion14​ @bykookie​ @rageyoudamnednerd​ @holynamtiddies​ @thejooncrew​ @dee-ehn​ @yrc1963 @fireheart2003​

[atiny-piratequeen]

Alright Everytiny, class is in session lets quick fire some hot takes just for fun, shall we?

Idols do not belong to you. You don't get to control their lives. There's a difference between minorities trying to get idols to stop appropriating and/or disrespecting their cultures and some of yall trying to control every waking aspect of their lives bc you've got it in your head that they're your "perfect, precious babies" or whatever bs you've come up with. They are not the same.

None of us are perfect. If someone comes up to you and tells you something you're doing may be offensive to them/some people, stop and listen before immediately taking that as an attack on your person

Literally everyone can learn and grow. Fandom spaces are full of people from all walks of life. Just because you have different opinions doesn't mean the end result of a conversation has to become volatile

If you're joining a net, read the rules before you do so. Not skim through for the key word to get in. R e a d the damn r u l e s

It is your job to curate your fandom spaces. If you decide you dont like someone's content/behavior, it is well within your right to block them to keep yourself from seeing them/their content/their behavior

This also means its not someone's job to write you an essay in MLA format, size 12 Times New Roman, double spaced on why they blocked you. Take the L and move on, there's more than enough other people in a fandom space to find different friends

Your friends are not your punching bags. They're not your yesmen. If you truly consider someone a friend, you need to understand that yall may have different opinions/views on things and this is something you should be able to talk about in a mature manner. If you expect your friends to just nod along to everything or if they expect YOU to nod along to everything, maybe look at that friendship again. No, you shouldn't be fighting all the time, but if you dont feel comfortable speaking out when you have concerns with a friend then.....?

Adults stop engaging with minors with nsfw asks and fics. Adults stop engaging with minors with nsfw content period.

Minors stop fucking lying about your age to sneak into spaces you KNOW are marked as 18+. Adults in those spaces are trying to respect boundaries and also be comfortable and if you cant see why a 15-17 yo lying about being a 18+ yo just so they can talk about getting railed with adults that ARE 18+ (especially if they say no minor interactions) is wrong, maybe you're not as "mature" as you keep telling yourselves.

Sending anon hate makes you a coward and a bitch and no one should take you seriously. Either say it in a post, off anon, in dms, or leave it alone because this anon hate shit is whack.

You can write whatever you want. Yes, even dark fics, but put a FUCKING trigger warning on shit thats triggering. You know DAMN well whats hard triggers.

Respect that people DO have triggers and make sure to mark works/posts accordingly.

You not having the same triggers as someone or not having triggers at all doesnt make you any better than someone who does. Don't be a fucking dick.

You don't have to fully understand someone's identity/culture to respect that they have one and that its different than yours.

Take scs if you feel you're being scammed/wronged. If you dont keep evidence of things being amiss, its very easy for someone to spin a story in their favor.

You arent less of a for considering fandom spaces too overwhelming.

You arent a terrible fan for not knowing every waking moment of these idol's lives. In fact, some of yall need to step back and give them more space

Its none of your business who they're dating. If its not an inappropriate relationship with an adult and a minor or an abusive relationship, leave these people alone

Stop??? Making them fucking uncomfortable by being inappropriate during fancalls??? You fucking weirdos???

You don't get to use your mental illness as an excuse to be horrible to other people all the time. That's not how that works. You don't get to inflict pain and trauma on someone and go "well i have issues so-" and think that's a scapegoat. If you can acknowledge you have problems that makes you lash out, you can actively find solutions to work on doing it less at the very least, not shrug and go "oh well". You're still a dick.

An author sharing their troubles in life is not an open invitation for you to try and bully them into "shutting up and writing, no ones here for the life story". Bitch??? You're on their blog, if they wanna vent for 3 months, post a fic on the 4th, and vent for 3 more, that's their business. The unfollow button is right there. Life is difficult, especially this year. Not everyone can crank out a fic every day

Say thank you when you request a fic and the writer does post it for you. Thats the bare minimum, yknow.

REBLOG!!! FICS!!! AND FANDOM CONTENT!!! YOU!!!! ENJOY!!! DON'T JUST LIKE IT, SHARE THE SHIT IT HELPS

Comments and feedback are wonderful. Do that. Your writers work hard, even something as simple as "i really love how this happened" or "i cant wait to see what happens with person a and person b" goes a long way

Be kind to yourself. If you couldn't meet your goal, that's okay. Work on plans a different way, ask for help, take a different approach. You're doing well in your own way, you can find a way to do better if you need to without putting yourself down all the time.

[magicalgirlpropaganda]

Things that are hot and sexy (because i do them)

• being unable to cite sources no matter how long you spend on it or how long you try

• getting a boost of motivation to work but on the wrong thing

• actually don't mind doing school work and have a thirst for knowledge but hate failure and not having time to finish assignments

• "wow i can't believe i finished all my assignments for the week! So fast. I have time to study and actually perfect my work and get better grades" *gets more assignments* *cries*

• i can't meet my own high standards

• being so stressed because of mom that i have horrible mood swings and im in a constant state of rage and anxiety

• being relieved when my friends invite me to do things because then i see it as an obligation and im "forced" to go (even though they'd understand if i said no, i see it as an obligation for my own mental wellbeing)

• wanting desperately to help others but struggling to even take care of yourself

• i can do the work, i can handle the workload. But i can't handle the pressure of my mom checking my grades

• i know that I'm smart and i know that I can do it. Ive been working so hard and my work is paying off but i need my mom to trust me

• overeating due to stress and went on an etsy shopping spree. Had to force myself to stop "stress buying" stuff and "stress eating"

• my dumb little passion project went on hiatus because im busy. Which is fine but a bit dissapointing

• i love it here. I don't want to leave. I love the art program. The work is a lot but i love my classes and my friends and my life here. What if one day something horrible happens and i have to leave because its too expensive?

• everything in my life is going good but my mom stresses me out so much that it's no longer going good

• I'm sorry for being incompetent... Even on my medicine. I am much better off than before and i can actually think but. I can't focus and i often miss intructions on assignments unless i write down absolutely everything. Why am i like this?

• my high empathy problems are coming up again because im so emotional.

• i am fine on 6 hours of sleep a night now but i wonder how long that will last. I don't have enough time to sleep for 8 hours every night. And maybe its because i take too many breaks but if i dont take breaks, i can't focus and everything just because thoughts that don't make sense

• im so stressed. Please just let me get my work done. All i ask is to be able to just sit down, relax, get my work done. I want to do so well on the exam later this week that I bump my B to an A or just even a high B.

• at least i enjoy school. High school and before was... Much worse. I don't enjoy spending hours trying to find out how to cite very specific topics and i dislike that one of my professors is a big perfectionist and so i often lose points on assignments (everyone does) no matter how hard i try to make it perfect. And i dislike having to check canvas so often because its difficult to navigate and i swear they try to hide assignments from us. And i hate that i have so much work that some weeks i wonder if i can possibly get it all done. And i hate group projects and i hate writing boring essays. But i love my classes at least. And i want to do well. I will do well. I am going to make all A's if it kills me. I was a B/C student in high school with occasional A's. If i just studied more (i never studied), i could have been one of the best students there, i believe. I didn't study, but I'm glad I didn't because it didn't matter as long as I got ok grades and I passed. I enjoyed my youth (not that im not still young...not that those years weren't the worst). But now i have to make A's or at least high B's because I know i can and I have to prove to my mom that I can do it. Maybe if i get good enough grades, she will back off some. Then I can prove to her that i really don't need her "help".

• this is way too specific of a list

• i want a job. If only i had time for a job. I have a strong work ethic. Im a good little capitalist slave. Please give me mone- i mean. Work. Yeah... Work...

But I dont have time for a job. Im very thankful that i dont need one. But I need to grow up and get a job because it will help me in the future

• speaking of which....a job i applied for months ago just called today... A lite late, buddy. Im 2 hours away now.

• but god... I so want to work there. I hear its a great place to work and the owner is gay (aka, not going to be homophobic to me)

• i wish i had my suitemate/neighbor's life. Like loudly talking on the phone and slamming doors as loud as possible all day long? And she's an RA so she gets paid.

• im calling my mom soon and getting this shit over with. Also i have somewhere to go with friends tonight so we can kidna- i mean recruit ppl for the theatre club. Im no theatre person but i am there for my friend and to make props.

• i can't do it.

• but if i do this, ill be free....

• maybe a quick meditation beforehand. Maybe self hypnosis so i can emotionally numb myself for a few minutes... Idk if im experienced enough to do that yet... But I've been doing it for years so might as well give it a try

• have i really resorted to self hypnosis to deal with the stress of calling my own mother?

• am i really so weak that even though everything is going well, something as simple as my mom calling to check my grades once a week makes me so upset that I cry almost every day about it?

• i know what she is doing is not legal. But what can I do about it?

• my mom thinks that im incompetent as well. That's why she checks my grades. She thinks I can't do it. She didn't even think that I had the ability to live by myself. I proved her wrong there.

• im working so hard partly because of her. So why does me working hard and thus not having time to call make her upset?

• it will all be over by tomorrow.

• perhaps calling her on the phone in a public space would be better. Maybe if she realizes that im not just in my dorm....

Luckily, my mom cares a little too much about social norms. She's used against me this all my life but perhaps it could be beneficial to me.

•thats right. I can just pack my stuff i need for my work. Then ill meditate for a bit and take a tea break. Ill go take everything to a public place with lots of people and call her then.

• i don't want to bring my friends into this, it wouldn't be right. But i wish that they would just sit next to me while I was on the phone. For emotional support at least. But i wouldn't ask them to do that, especially since we haven't known each other long. But i think it would make everything better if i had someone else to back me up

• people must be sick and tired of these posts. Im sorry.

• my mom says she's proud of me, but she doesnt act like it. She used to trust me. When i was 16/17, she would say that its up to me, my responsibility, that I knew what I was doing. Now, im 18. Why does she no longer trust me? I am an adult now. It doesn't make sense. I'm more responsible than I was at that age and im an adult now. It doesn't make sense at all, shouldn't she trust me more?

• i check my own grades religiously. Why is it necessary for her to do so too? What does that accomplish?

• i have an A, 2 almost A's, 2 low B's (but i know i can get the grade up and im studying hard to do so) and one C (it was an assignment that everyone did poorly on and another homework assignment that i did poorly on because I was exhausted). I know a C is bad but it's my drawing class. My favorite class. I do well in there and i think I'm probably one of the better peforming students in there. The C was just a small mistake and since we have more work in there now, getting that grade up will not be difficult. But i feel like all of my hard work just doesn't matter anymore. It will not satisfy her either way. Even if I had all A's, she would probably still be upset that I didn't have high enough A's. One of my professors says that she doesn't give A's on projects because "mistakes happen in art and you have to accept it".

• heavy workload... Im fine doing it but... I can't do it well with the amount of time I'm given. If i just had the weekend as well and not just the rest of the week. If i had just one full day more.

• this weekend will probably be dedicated to next week's work if i can do it early

• i can't call her. It's too stressful.

• im lightheaded just thinking about it

• i have every right to be angry. I have every fucking right to be angry.

• my day should revolve around schoolwork and studying. My weekends should revolve around taking breaks and light workloads. But every moment of every day revolved around my mom instead.

• and to think... If i lived in a place where college wasnt so expensive... Perhaps she would leave me be. Perhaps my grades would be so much better and perhaps I would be happy.

[irregulardiaryposts]

00:53 21/06/2021

Hello again <3

so i think im gonna write about my mental health today because i dont feel like i have anyone who understands fully apart from myself maybe so i need to Organise my Thoughts. as a kid i had a pretty normal childhood, a mum a dad and a brother - pretty nuclear right. but as a child i felt like my family maybe wasnt quite right, that this wasnt supposed to be what family is? perhaps. - i was scared of my mum a lot because she wasnt very understanding of me - and i was a great kid, never getting into trouble, very good at school, no issues whatsover. the thing that really shows how i thought of my relationship with my mum was when i was like maybe 8 or so having a parents night and at it my teacher had nothing bad to say apart from i was kinda bossy in group settings (im sure i dont need to explain how misogynistic that actually is- i was not bossy i was a natural leader) and when i got home my mum told me off for that and i felt like she was kinda cold to me and not taking all the good things about me into consideration when telling me off for that.

i feel like thats a really defining moment in my life when i realised i cant expect adults to Understand me, realised how people treat young girls, also started my defiant behaviour maybe or was kinda one of the key moments that made me dislike certain authorities in my life, that if people wont understand me regardless of how i explain myself then i wont bother trying to be understood by people who wont matter to me. anyway yes i was scared of my mum-like petrified sometimes- but my dad wasnt great either, he also had his shortcomings. i feel like he never really cared about me like he was kinda apathetic towards raising me like a parent - i feel he would be better suited as an uncle to someone rather than a dad - the funny childish guy that makes kids laugh -not the uncaring dad that cant be bothered to really learn about his kids. and i feel im sitting here complaining about my parents when the fact is that a lot of adults should never be parents, society has conditioned people into thinking the only way to be fulfilled in life is to live vicariously through your kids when life gets to such a boring and monotonous place where you feel the need to create a new life to spice things up lmao. i feel a lot of parents regret having kids but they cannot express that regret because it was their choice and they should deal with that, also saying you regret it would be pretty horrible to the kid.

so while yes i am complaing about my parents i dont think they were Bad in any way just not that great yaknow. also i just notice all these things growing up and i feel its been pretty impactful to understanding myself and my parents. also just some anecdotes from my childhood - i used to watch my dad play video games like the uncharted games i think theyre called, and whenever i got scared i used to hide behind the couch until the scary part was over (usually a lot of guns and high energy fight scenes thats too much adrenaline for a 7 yo) and sometimes when i would take out my dad/brothers game i would get them to fo the hard parts and do other stuff myself - i dont remember many games i played apart from one of the spidermen games where u could just web around the city and not progress apart from sometimes you would come across some strippers and i accidently got into a fight with them (also hot women with umbrellas they use to fight- maybe i went near them on purpose) i would yell to my dad and get him to do it for me. also on new years eve whenever my mum was working and we werent going to any family parties we would make a bunch of food and put it out in the kitchen - wed make like homemade onion rings, chips, have crisps and dips, and a bunch of junk basically and watch like austin powers or some shit and genuinely miss those times they were so simple. but a lot of thats tainted now from what happened. also my brothers always been annoying as shit but when we were kids we couldnt be in the same room without arguing which like whatever thats how kids are esp brothers and sisters for some reason.

i think thats majority of the background needed for the rest. wait this is a little addition but i meant to mention this here so ill put it in- basically sometimes on holidays i would geniunely think my parents hate each other/ were getting a divorce like once when we were in florida in 2012 my dad convinced my mum (as well as me and my brother convinced her since we liked them) we convinced her to go on a water slide thing that u had to walk up the stairs for, it was outdoors, and it was kinda tall and then we got in one of the big donut things and it swooshed from side to side a lot and was generally pretty scary i suppose for someone who doesnt like rides esp since you had to hold on to the handles there were no buckles or anything, and so when we got off the ride my mum was big mad at my dad and like wouldnt talk to him and stuff like that which was pretty uncomfortable to have to be the 8 year old mediator of that but there was also another occasion i think (maybe also at florida) where they were made at each other and i asked my mum if they were getting divorced and all she said was 'ask ur dad' like???? no sort of consolation to this child who thinks their parents hate each other nooo just petty 'ask him' and theres also been other times when they fight/ are mad and they dont feel the need to hide it from us so i felt quite anxious around my parents sometimes.

so ahnyway . yes. when i had just turned 13 my parents split up and it fucked me up in a multitude of ways. also i cant beleive i stopped being a proper kid at 13, like as soon as i turned a teenager life hit me like a fucking truck. so the context as to why they split is still kinda lost to me ngl but they didnt tell me much anyway since i was young but my mum basically said my dad didnt love her anymore and he wanted to separate. its kinda funny because leading up to this my dad had been sleeping in the living room for like a few weeks and there was on and off fighting i could hear and i basically thought they were fighting over me and that i was in trouble and it kinda used to keep me up coz i could hear loud voices when they thought i was asleep- which is probably the cause of why i get veryyyy mad and angry when i hear my mum at like 1 am downstairs when shes drinking and im trying to sleep, probably something ive internalised (is that the word?) and made me respond so strongly to those type of noises.

anywayyyyy yes i thought i was in trouble when they were actually just getting a divorce so ... yeah you can really tell i was young and didnt understand adult issues or really couldnt figure this out myself from all the arguing and him sleeping downstairs lmao. anyway my dad moved out and it was just me my mum and my brother now and at this point my brother wouldve been about to turn 18, so although still kinda shit, not really as affected my it as a 13 yo, just to keep in mind. so i was devastated obviously and my whole world was kinda shattered but i had to hold it together a bit, also i was sometimes my mothers own therapist having to say things like 'everything happens for a reason' 'itll get better' in response to her deteriorating mental health and her questions that would be really hard for me to answer like 'why did he leave' etc (bish im a child be there for me not wallow in ur own pity, u have ur whole life to sort this out youre an adult, im a 13 you and only months away from wanting to kms hun think of ur CHILD please) anyway this left me feeling like a burden if i were to share my mental state because when my mum shared her stuff she was burdening me (AGAIN i was 13 she is an adult) so that made me bottle a lot of things up also the fact that i had no one to share it with because she works as a nurse and now shes a single mother and so she works almost all hours of most days and i dont see her much, my brother was either working at this time or just didnt give enough of a shit about me to make sure i ate.

i went from being catered to for every meal because i didnt know how to cook to suddenly no one being there for me so i had to learn how to do it myself. needless to say that lead to a bunch of unhealthy eating habbits like eating the same things every day - frozen pizza, cheese toasties, i cant think of anything else probs because i didnt make anything else just ate chocolates or didnt eat breakfast coz i woke up at 2pm. just general unhealthyness both in substance and like how healthy that was for my head yk. also this is during the summer btw so it gave me the option to be incredibly depressed - im not saying that as an edgy teen thing to say im being 100% genuine i was very depressed like textbook style - not eating or overeating, not showering/ taking care of myself, extreme lack of energy and hated doing social things coz i had to put on a farce that i was okay meanwhile i couldnt wait to get into my bed and sleep the next day and a half away.

i very vividly remember at the start of the summer holiday my friend asked me if i wanted to go out and do something and i rememeber just crying at that because i had no reason to say no but i just didnt want to and felt like i couldnt do anything and so i lied and said i wasnt feeling well and then put my phone down and curled up in my bed and cried coz i was frustrated and upset and i couldnt really understand what was wrong with me and why i was Like This.

god i didnt take into account how tired i was and how late it is when i started this huh, this isnt even half of it, but i have obligations in the mornign, the last until uni or whatever so ill put this in my drafts and finsih it somethime. alrigtht it is 02:08 btw z_z. also ive just now decided im gonna re organise my tumblr so if this ends up being an actual blog thing i can navigate it easier by adding tags and such. anywau goodnight.

20:21 30/06/2021

MOTHERFOIUHIFIUDVMKCVKM V

MY LAPTOP SHUT DOWE IN THE MIDDLE OF THSAT SO ITS ALL GONE BASICALLY I WAS DEPRESSED BURTNOUT GIFTERD KID AND IT SUCKED YADDa YADDSZ ANYTWAY

so

23:01- well. yes earlier i wrote a little about the ages 13-16 and how they sucked but whatever it got deleted the more pertinent stuff happened in the last year or so anyway.

um yeah so i started the last year of highschool as a 16 year old with a fucked up brain and never having learned any study techniques or work ethic in the slightest. i took 3 uni-level courses only one i actually wanted to do, most people take 2 at most or even 1/0 but do other classes. honestly it fucking sucked this year for school but i scraped all passes so thank god for that. so i started the year quite optimistic, or as much as i could be and in all fairness the content of this year wasnt actually that bad considering i was doing 3 hard classes but corona really truly fucked everything up and by November i had mentally dropped out of my classes but of course i still had to go to them. i feel like im an oddly independent teen because ive never had a solid parental presence in a while, like i had to do a lot for myself and maybe i should thank myself for getting me through it all because i really did pull through.

my thoughts keep drifting from what im writing coz i wanna talk about different things and im just thinking maybe i shouldve just posted the last one then added a reblog when i could be bothered to write and not force myself because if theres ever a reoccurring theme in my life is that if i force myself to do anything i will hate it with my entire being, so maybe i should just do a short synopsis and write about something else afterwards.

so i took 3 hard classes, slowly lost all motivation because in jan it switches to online classes and i could Not deal with those it was horrible, and i became more of a "troublesome student" in one of my classes *cough* maths *cough* and almost got "kicked out" of taking the class just because the teacher was a control freak but like wanted to control all of our actions and behaviour, also i think i may have adhd and another kid in my class i think he does too and surprise surprise the teacher "dislikes" him too but its only a farce because he doesnt actually dislike him its only so that i cant call him out for singling me out when other students behave "badly" too. but anyways maybe ill come back to this in a while when i can be arsed explaining my complicated relationship with my parents.

the only reason i wanted to write this today was so that i could tag the post with like june 2021 or something and not june/july, but i might make another post later, Anyway happy end of pride month i supose, hope u figure it out me!

[trouvvaille]

Clams; Talk to your moirail.

brackishbarracuda [BB] began trolling lonelySeahorse [LS] at 5-44 AM BB- 3B* lonelySeahorse- Yesterday at 5-45 AM Hey u I uh I gotta talk to u brackishBarracuda- Yesterday at 5-46 AM well thats yeah aight whats up clams

lonelySeahorse- Today at 2-38 AM I miss my kids. Can we get them back... Please? Its too quiet. I wworry. I mean I'm sure dirk takes god care of them i just uh Need them So Yeah brackishBarracuda- Today at 2-56 AM i can bring em back to visit clams but look i know its quiet and it fucking sucks and i miss them too i still dont feel like theyre safe here love and no dirk dont do shit dave keeps em have you seen dirk with a kid its hilarious lonelySeahorse- Today at 6-41 AM I mean pike I dont doubt it but i wwant to see em Wwho are wwe hiding from noww I thought condy wwas not an issue anymore or somethin Is it sal brackishBarracuda- Today at 6-51 AM no shes still a fucking thing there were two problems but the orginal ones still there lonelySeahorse- Today at 6-51 AM godamnit howw about if wwe just movve not forevver brackishBarracuda- Today at 6-51 AM thats lonelySeahorse- Today at 6-51 AM but pike to loz's brackishBarracuda- Today at 6-52 AM love thats not the problem lonelySeahorse- Today at 6-52 AM or i knoww brackishBarracuda- Today at 6-52 AM she doesnt know where we are its me wanting to give fel and her fam someplace to go lonelySeahorse- Today at 6-52 AM i just wwant to put up solutions and feel like im helpin ZZ3B( brackishBarracuda- Today at 6-52 AM i could kiss you you know i kno its naut been easy bein with me lately or ever lonelySeahorse- Today at 6-53 AM some nights are easier than others <> the 24 hours after u cut off chos arm noww that was rough shit evverything else compared to that is pike cuttin through a cloud its just the fuckin brackishBarracuda- Today at 6-54 AM im sorry lonelySeahorse- Today at 6-54 AM its gamzee all the fuck ovver again u knoww what they say third times the charm brackishBarracuda- Today at 6-54 AM 3B( lonelySeahorse- Today at 6-54 AM ZZ3B* just kinda fuckin i unno i almost got enough of ur biolum for u to bathe in ivve started movvin them to one a the tanks ur gonna have to pike... sleep in it or just sit in there ww ur palmhusk and blog for hours ill uh join u if u wwant i dunno if the tank'd hold tho but i can put them in the big one if i take archie out lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-03 AM you uh you'll be okay u knoww its hard but you'll pull through it wwasn't ur fault you knoww that right i think i think u should spend some tide with kad u knoww they'll help u feel better brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-13 AM how the fuck wasnt it my fault clams i love you but the knife was in my hand lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-13 AM kads alwways good for a pickmeup did you knoww the knife wwas in ur hand brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-15 AM i remember picking it up lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-15 AM wwe are not responsible for our instincts they wwere responsible for aya and they hurt her and you hurt them in turn both of these wwere wwrong but neither more than the other both of them wwill scar and both of them are traumatized you wwere angry brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-18 AM stop making excuses for me lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-18 AM im not makin excuses for you it was everyones fault thats wwhat im tryin to get at cho was responsible for ayas wwellbein an they should not havve had her in the same room as a psion wwho couldn't control their powwers and you wwere supposed to do the right thing but you didn't you cut off their arm and ran awway and that is your fuckin fault but im not makin excuses for you because fuckin honestly at this point wwhat good is that shit going to do anyone you wwant to talk to them again? talk to vvis? sal? then you gotta fuckin accept that it wwas an accident and evvery single one a you wwas at fault, evven sal, evven vvis three fuckin adults in that house and not one a them coulda been wwatchin her wwith cho? bullshit its your fault but it ain't entirely yours either you knoww i havve nightmares about it and i wwasn't evven fuckin there howws that brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-22 AM what what are they about lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-22 AM that doesn't matter read wwhat i said abovve brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-22 AM it does i read it lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-22 AM yeah why brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-22 AM this matters lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-23 AM whys it matter to you so you can beat yourself up more aboat it? brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-23 AM whys it matter to me clams i am your fucking moirail it matters please lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-32 AM and as your owwn moirail i don't think you should beat yourself up ovver nightmares i havve caused by things that wwere your fault because i knoww you wwill and i don't wwant that y you got enough on your plate brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-33 AM baby please lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-33 AM tell me wwhy you're insecure then i wwill brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-33 AM which part lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-33 AM in general wwhy are you so insecure about yourself you hurt someone big fuckin wwhoop you bleww up your planet and you didn't really care about cho anywway you tried to i knoww but you didn't is it just because you lost sal? because you think you'vve lost vvis? brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-35 AM i am trying to be better clams and yes its because of that lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-35 AM once upon a time you told me u lovved me just as i am hemoism and all brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-35 AM i dont loose people well lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-35 AM and im here to tell you the same fuckin thing i dont care if u cut off my owwn fuckin arm i wwill lovve you until the day my essence dissolvves into nothing and i cease to havve the capacity to hold lovve in my soul i lovve you regardless of wwhat you do wwhose arm you chop off wwho you lose or wwhy you lose them i lovve you meen not wwhat you do or wwhat you say but because of wwho you fuckin are a free thinker wwho doesn't hold back, wwho wwould dance in the moonlight wwith her girlfriends, wwho tells people they're pretty af and means it wwithout it bein empty. ur home to me evven if you become someone you dislike you don't need to change and be "better" for me to like u i already like you vis already likes you sal liked you and so did chosis yes there are things you can improvve yes there are things you can't improvve but here and noww wwith all your insecurities and wwhen you falter, wwhen ur candle is loww, i am still here for you and don't u fuckin forget it i am your moirail and eridan fuckin ampora aight and i am right fuckin pale for the roughest, prettiest diamond i'vve evver fuckin seen brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-40 AM i love you lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-42 AM noww about those nightmares its really quite simple vvis has nightmares if wwe're sleepin at the same time wwe share em thats it thats the wwhole explanation brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-43 AM do you know what those are about or look i just want to know where hes viewin himself in relation okay is just me being dangerous is it him just watchin is it him eelin like he could have stopped me and cant like i dont care what it is i just want to know lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-44 AM hes conflicted because he lovves both of you and he thinks you hold animosity towwards him if he showws too much support for chosis and not for you thats wwhat i can glean the recurrin theme is the classic "choice" dream u knoww u can only Savve One an all that chos his kurloz, lovve, pike i don't know if you get it more wwhen i put it that wway or its pike if i personally chopped off loz's arm wwhile you wwatched thats just howw he feels an it's basically just that he doesn't fuckin knoww howw to feel i think he just needs time but thats my fuckin answer to evverythin brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-47 AM fuck lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-47 AM does that put it into more perspectivve or brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-48 AM yeah actually i fuck lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-48 AM yeah yeah im glad that helps brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-50 AM clams what have i fucking done lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-53 AM you chopped off the arm of your inclade, your moirails matesprit, wwho he has twwo eggs wwith and plans to swwap rings wwith, in defense of said matesprit's negligance towwards your owwn child wwith your dead matesprit, wwhich resulted in possibly lifelong scarrin and trauma due to their said negligance defense? offense somethin pike that you uh also faught ur best friend and bloodied him up a bit and noww he doesn't wwant to speak wwith you i guess thats wworth mentionin i mean if u ask me sal and u needed a break anywway brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-55 AM i dont like breaks clams i like fixing shit or getting it over with i like shit in the air not festering i like honest real fucking answers and not hiding behind shit and lying to yourself and im fucked lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-56 AM okay so u knoww howw i compared chosis to kurloz there right, for vvis noww i need you to think a me or actually think a kad if u cut off kads arm and lil sal wwas there wwatchin an the twwo a you fought brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-57 AM i wouldnt be alive clams lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-57 AM see to me that says sal still fuckin lovves you brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-58 AM he shouldnt lonelySeahorse- Today at 7-58 AM no he shouldn't but he does evven if he aint realize it yet he just needs time maybe you could send him a couple of anon asks to see howw he feels about it evveryonce in a wwhile brackishBarracuda- Today at 7-59 AM he doesnt deserve the shit i bring to his doorstep clams he deserves people who are gonna make him happy and that aint been me for a while lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-01 AM then i guess u got an oppurtunity here but u gotta ask urself howw happy is he gonna be wwith you gone howw happy are you gonna be wwith him gone the twwo a you are older than me and you you do fuckin realize that right pike you'vve been together since before u evven met me hell probs before rez or fangs or around that time he's the only one left besides cro and tuna wwho knowws You so if you wwant to leavve him thats up to you he's already made his choice but i fuckin promise you in twwo months he's gonna be wwaitin to see if you'll try to get back in his life and fuckin honestly i'd be disappointed if you didn't an he wwould be too and you fuckin knoww it don't kid urself howw many times has he hurt us howw many fuckin times has he hurt me put vvis through a wwall broke my nose gavve you scars but howw many times did he come back, huh or helped you evven if u twwo wwere havvin trouble you think a that brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-06 AM i miss him i miss who we were lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-06 AM wwhen did it change wwhat happened wwhy brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-06 AM i dont know i dont fucking know lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-07 AM i do you wwant to knoww? brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-07 AM why naut lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-07 AM wwhen he finally stopped puttin you up on that pedestal wwhen he finally had to come to grips wwith the fact u wweren't and are not perfect wwhen he finally had to fuckin realize that you are not his rescuer but his friend he put u up on a throne and u didn't wwant it and he couldn't see that and evvery single fuckin time you twwo fought it wwas because u didn't see eye to eye because you wwere still twwenty feet abovve him, to him cho thought it too wwe wwere talkin they said sal wwas upset because "he lost his rock" an i said buddy if u think meenah wwas his rock ur wwrong" because u wweren't and if u think that you're wwrong a rope throwwn to him maybe givven him hope givven him a friend but somethin to hold onto wwhen the lights go out nah u wwere his lighthouse like u are mine you light the wway but he doesn't cling to u wwith his problems he clings to cho and YOU fuckin knoww that and you need to stop thinkin that cho isn't fuckin wworthy or somethin of bein sals moirail an also simultaneously thinkin that u gotta measure up to chosis wwith sal are you pale for salinx? no? then you ain't gotta brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-12 AM i was once i know you remember lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-12 AM yeah and i wwas flushed for u once too its hard to stop those feelins but u just gotta grit ur teeth and go at it brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-13 AM i mean im naut anymore but yeah lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-14 AM just in case, i gotta say it stop bein fuckin envious of wwhat they got an the fact that sal is tellin cho evverythin an not u brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-15 AM i fucking hate myself for it but i cant even tell you youre fucking wrong lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-19 AM i knoww just you knoww stop it nerd <> brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-19 AM look they werent fucking worthy when i met them just to be straight with you lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-19 AM but you aint givven them the chance since u think i dont knoww that they bruised me, pushed me ovver brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-20 AM im naut done lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-20 AM aight im wwaitin tho brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-22 AM chosis wasnt shit when i met them but if i can stand back away from my own shit for two seconds theyve grown a hell of a lot they grew into it which idk is probably the point or something just cause i couldnt sea it and i can admit that to you but trying to say that to anybody else pisses me off ive got problems the point im making is that they arent a bad kid and clearly they take decent fuckin care a sally an sal them i was just idk i reely dont like thinking aboat this lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-26 AM yeah wwhale suck it up and talk to me about it ZZ3B\ brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-27 AM ive p much made my point theyre betta than they were and im recognizing that ive known that for a while lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-27 AM but u still assumed they wwere the one wwho hurt aya brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-28 AM when i got there there was all of two people and i knew it was sal i jumped to a conclusion an it was the wrong one lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-29 AM yeah but u wwere alwwavves more heart than head brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-30 AM yeah for betta oar worse lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-31 AM this just happens to be one a the wworse ... you'll be okay and so wwill sal, and so wwill cho, and so wwill vvis, and aya too it just takes time an lovve an determination don't givve up on them aight? lovve u <> brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-32 AM i love you too <> just so fucking much clams lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-32 AM ZZ3B* brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-33 AM i couldnt tell you if i tried you are my rock you know no pedestal no rope no lighthouse lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-37 AM yeah i do brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-37 AM youre my rock lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-37 AM ur my rock and my lighthouse brackishBarracuda- Today at 8-37 AM where i build home lonelySeahorse- Today at 8-37 AM ur my evverythin ... what are u gonna do brackishBarracuda - Today at 8:41 AM whatever i have to lonelySeahorse- Today at 8:42 AM yeah? brackishBarracuda - Today at 8:46 AM as fuckin always lonelySeahorse - Today at 8:47 AM come on more than that brackishBarracuda- Today at 8:49 AM i dont know clams but im naut givin up lonelySeahorse- Today at 8:49 AM good <> brackishBarracuda - Today at 8:50 AM <>

[pinkhoodiemark]

Get to Know Me Tag

Tagged by @got7-markjinson @hadesalmighty @the-princejinyoung @marksonislovely @got7doubleb Thank you guys so much!

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. (TWENTY?)

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Coke (this answer will almost always be Coke its my addiction (a-cola)) 2. Phone call: best friend- victoria 3. Text message: cool dude named Jack 4. Song you listened to: i was rewatching weekly idol so probably Never Ever? 5. Time you cried: like a couple days ago (i dont usually cry this was just good timing)

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: i guess  7. Kissed someone and regretted it: a little but only because he SUCKS at kissing 8. Been cheated on:  Nope 9. Lost someone special:  like a death in the family? yes 10. Been depressed: im in the part of my life when adult reponsibilities become a thing so yes of course  11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: HA unfotunately yea

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: currently: just look at my (new) icon

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends:  yep because of this blog :))) 16. Fallen out of love:  ive never been IN so no 17. Laughed until you cried:  of course 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yep (both good and bad lol) 19. Met someone who changed you: Yepp 20. Found out who your friends are: Yes 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: wtf who calls it a facebook list? what does this mean? but probably lollll

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I most likely know everyone but who uses fb anymore.  23. Do you have any pets: 2 cool fishes, 1 gnarly shrimp 24. Do you want to change your name: noo i like my name :) 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: uh... probably just chilled 26. What time did you wake up: like noon 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: probably on tumblr watching GLOW on netflix 28. Name something you can’t wait for:  going to school in japan 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: im literally looking at her  30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish my parents cared more about my japanese education so i can actually speak fluent japanese now (as a japanese person i think thats important ugh) 31. What are you listening right now: a bad anime is playing in the background and my parents are playing the soundtrack to Carlito’s Way  32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes, weird dude that extorted money from a company my mom used to work for ha  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my parents (angsty teen response) 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr for sure 

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: yess! I have one on my cheek and neck and i like them a lot. I have a tatto of 3 tiny dots on my arm (lol theres a story behind it) and it looks like moles and when you play connect the dots with the one on my face neck and arm it looks like Orions belt (long reponse) 36. Mark/s: a few birthmarks scattered on my bod. Also lots of small scars from ijuries throughout the years  37. Childhood dream: i wrote in this kindergarden diary that i wanted to become a Care Bear. still chasing that dream... lol

38. Haircolor: black sometimes brown other times 39. Long or short hair: short 40. Do you have a crush on someone: besides idols? no 41. What do you like about yourself: im chilll 42. Piercings: not even 1 43. Bloodtype: i wish i knew 44. Nickname: Emi, Chaka 45. Relationship status: single and ready to have a medicre non-clingy relationship hahaha 46. Zodiac: Aquarius 47. Pronouns: She/Her

48. Favorite TV Show: Rick and Morty, Bobs /burgers, The Office, and lots of anime :///// 49. Tattoos: the 3 dots i talked about in Q35 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: none 52. Hair dyed in different color: kinda 53. Sport: used to do ballet, then gymnastics and karate. None now 55. Vacation: Japan 56. Pair of trainers: i dont have sneakers cuz im not active but my fav shoes are my Tims and some grey simple non brand shoes from japan 

MORE GENERAL: (im so confused is this talking about currently or stuff i want/like??) 57. Eating: Currently: Strawberries. I love Japanese food 58. Drinking: Currently: Coke. I love Coke okay its a problem 59. I’m about to: idek either eat or sleep or watch tv. its midnight 61. Waiting for:  my life to be easy  62. Want: money weed 63. Get married: idk maybe 64. Career: i want something fun. has to do with art/design but has lotsa money

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs. i enjoy cuddles 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: im hella short so taller is really the only option. Im not complaining lol 68. Older or younger: range is one year apart from my age both younger and older. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms? idrc though 71. Sensitive or loud: what is this talking about? 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: trouble maker ugh

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: kinda like my friend new them i didnt really know them. it was the pocky game... 75. Drank hard liquor: Yes 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: not yet  77. Turned someone down: Yep im really bad at it though  78. Sex in the first date: Nope 79. Broken someone’s heart: i dont think so (maybe that one dude but eh) 80. Had your heart broken: nope  81. Been arrested: nope 82. Cried when someone died: of course 83. Fallen for a friend: ive had a crush on a friend  (fallen is such a strong world yikes)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: not too much but i try 85. Miracles: yes probably 86. Love at first sight: Ehhh... no 87. Santa Claus: I WISH I STILL DID 88. Kiss in the first date: why not i guess 89. Angels: got7

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: probably Victoria 91. Eyecolor: so dark brown its black 92. Favorite movie: Kill Bill pt 1 & 2, Dawn of the Dead (original), ghibli movies

Tagging (it said 20 but we’ll see): @hoodiejungkook @mochimork @imeightout @rice-ballz @bambama1 @jindongdongie @jingogi @mintsugarmarktuan @gyeoms-shake @psychicdrama @wonhosonehoe @chambaeq and 8 more. 20 is a lot omfg

[nostroviapress]

Passion is being in love with the world is when a color isn’t one color or another one is smiling at someone you don’t know and them smiling back, loving each other in that moment is flannel sheets is porcelain cups is cypress leaves is the smell of sugar on gentle hands” 

Katie Clark is a queer poet on the verge of the twenties who belongs to a lot of places: Jacksonville, parts of Georgia, the pioneer valley. Likes planting things and being alive. Katie’s poems have been in Vagabond City, Voicemail Poems, and Words Dance. Tweets @octupiwallst.

I READ YOUR HOROSCOPE ON AUTOSTRADDLE ACCIDENTALLY

this month should be good for you

                                           so says astrology, so says Corina, the astrologist who said this                she likes dandelion tea and i know you know why that would matter

i have been thinking a lot about being alive / in the way i was alive / when you watched me do handstands / behind fort caroline /                                                                                                                                    remember? it was september still,                               still, we were only who we could be: red in the ways summer skinned us raw         our bodies in the grass,                                 your name carved into the city

i have been thinking a lot about being in love with you at 17 / at 18 / at 19 / and now im 20 and i still am / but it’s different                                                                        it’s call me when you get home it’s yellow roses not red ones, maybe                                                     but it was always like that, huh?                   i am trying to say i’m in love                                  with someone who isn’t you and this is weird                   i am trying to say i’m in love                                  with someone who isn’t you and i think you would like her but maybe not (based on principle)                                                               i know we’re adults now so things aren’t allowed to be simple anymore:                                                              we say “friends” and it’s funny because we’ve seen each other naked

                                                   careful girl, the world wasn’t made with marble careful, the world wasn’t made of peach flesh not like you, you: many miles and raspberry seeds                you: blackberry briars and the blood they bring                                            you like it that way, i know.                                                                                               grass growing,                                                                             you:                              dandelion seeds,                                                                    something soft, many.                                                                                           corina, you were right corina, thank you.

APOLOGY FOR THE EIGHT CALLS I DIDN’T TAKE FROM MY MOTHER IN EIGHT VOICEMAILS I DIDN’T LEAVE HER

i.

im sorry i havent been answering its just when i was little and busted my knees you would bleed for me and i cant come sleep in your bed until this passes

ii. the past few months taste like counting backwards from a thousand and hydrogen peroxide and unless i swallow them i know anyone i kiss for the next 100 years will taste the spit she left in my mouth

iii. at first it was my body and now its everything else that isnt mine anymore which makes it harder to love which makes it harder to live in which makes all of this feel a little bit like standing on your head until the blood rushes down and this is the moment where the world goes dark

iv. this is the moment where the world has been dark but ive been pressing fingers into my eyes to see phosphenes, just anything but this dark and im so sorry i didnt notice the sun kicked out im sorry i didnt notice that the sun could kick out without even noticing i was shutting my eyes that hard

v. we never had a basement in florida because it would’ve flooded and i brought that here i am flooding this basement and you are holding me and you are not here but you are holding me and i am glad for a moment when i remember grape fruits names dont make sense and i promise i am glad when i am with my friends and when i call you on the phone and you say things like i love you very much darlin

vi. i want you to know i still love this life and i dont want to let it go the way i do sometimes and im not letting it go its just ive been trying to hold more of it in my hands than i can right now and i cant blame my hands because our hands werent made watertight and i told someone who asked me once about this their hands full of riverwater i said i thought this was poetry but now im thinking maybe its just the body

vii. and had you asked me two months ago i wouldve told you the body is a synonym for the best poem youve ever read and i know i still mean that but maybe sometimes we have to become worser versions of ourselves to keep the goodness safe until were ready to hold it out to the world again

viii. and this is me promising to keep my hands out this is me promising to keep my eyes open and tomorrow may be golden maybe but today it’s this for now the aftermath but tomorrow is still something– i’ll call you then.

“i read your horoscope on autostraddle accidentally” + “apology for the eight calls i didnt take from my mother in eight voicemails i didn’t leave her” are previously published in Fuck Art, Let’s Dance Issue #013

[tumblunni]

Let’s ramble a bit more about Changeling Sim ideas! This time a bit about the awkward lil royal family and their interlocking relationships~!

Kiddo

It our deuteroganist! Hello! The protagonist’s cute little daughter is actually the next heir to the faerie throne, sent to be raised by her as a challenge to prove that the human world has good in it and is worth saving. And also secretly because Xana Mega is pretty awkward and cute under her scary facade, and was worried she was too distant to make a good mother to her child. In the golden ending you can help patch up their relationship, even though Jackie is still the one Kiddo knows as her true mother, and her biological parent becomes more like the family’s aunt. Kiddo is technically half human, but it’s not because Xana Mega married a human or anything. Fairies don’t follow biological genetics, theyre grown from giant flowers after all! Xana created Kiddo entirely by herself, and she acquired her human side solely from being given to Jackie to raise. Baby fae are more metaphysically squishy than their older counterparts, the classic changeling ploy is simply to replace a human child with a fae baby and it’ll naturally shift into the shape of the human. For a time they’ll be just that- a fairy wearing a disguise. But if they don’t know theyre not human, they’ll grow into what they’re taught and completely transform into a real mortal around puberty. Changelings do tend to retain a heightened sense to the supernatural and occasionally a few odd abilities, but generally they’ll never return to what they once were. Traditionally nobody had a choice in this whole matter, it was a very sketchy and horrid practise of ancient fae who didnt even respect humans as real sentient people. But in this case Kiddo wasn’t replacing an existing human, and she’s being raised knowing of her origins. Eventually she’ll face the question of whether she wants to stay or return to being a fairy, but it’ll be 100% her own choice. Similarly, it’s her own choice whether she wants to take the throne or if she finds a different career choice during her adventures in this other world. Many endings for you, the player!

Xana Mega

The current queen of Mag Mell, an ominous towering figure who rules with strict efficiency and commands the current anti-human war. Everyone’s pretty damn scared of her, and she lives a very lonely life disconnected from her own people. Despite her frightening persona and dedication to all things rational, she’s called for this mysterious truce for the next 18 years, and is permitting certain humans to enter our realm?? Truly the queen works in mysterious ways... but is she going soft...? Deep down she’s really a kind person who feels she has to put up this front deliberately in order to retain order. Its half that and half not really knowing how to function well socially, since she’s been groomed to be a ruler from a young age and had to live with a distant father. Because she was scared she’d repeat his mistakes, she gave her child to somebody else... but ultimately has she just become the same absent parent? It doesnt matter, because at least the kid will have a good mother, even if it isn’t her. But the decision does haunt her, and she’s both excited and terrified of the day she’ll see the child again on her 18th birthday and she won’t recognise her. But hopefully (if the player does well) she’ll be able to see that Kiddo has grown up into a wonderful young woman and had a fullfilling life that makes it all worthwhile ^_^ Ultimately if you’d ever get to know the real Xana beneath the royal role, she’s a slightly adorable awkward dork with a weary sadness yet a childish joy for experiencing new things. When you’d given up hope on this stuff, its hard to restrain yourself! Its possible to get a super secret route where Jackie romances Xana and Kiddo acquires DOUBLEMUMS~! And they’re super cute going out together on Real Authentic Human World Dates while Xana flails happily like this small hotdog stand is disneyland. Who’da thought that after the war ended, the old queen would become a human world weeaboo as soon as she set foot in our dimension? ^_^

Alberich

Xana’s father and previous ruler. Known as the Good King, he was responsible for starting the grand reforms of society that Xana continues nowadays. If peace is ever achieved between humans and fae, he was the one who sewed the first seed even if he didn’t live to see it sprout. Despite his success as a ruler, he was pretty flawed as a father, and passed that on to his daughter. He couldn’t completely escape the trappings of ancient fairy tradition, and his daughter was mostly raised by maids and tutors while he remained just this distant silent figure she could never reach no matter how hard she tried. She never even knew very much about him since he died when she was young. The young queen was just left with a million different opinions everybody else had on him, coalescing into an abstract cluster of an unknowable, empty pillar of ideal regal emotionlessness. .....Of course, the real Alberich was just as far from this as she is! To those who personally knew him, he was a complete softhearted goofball whose overidealistic ramblings would surely doom the whole country. And isn’t that just why he’s so loveable? Ultimately, his failure as a father was just that... a failure. Xana tried to justify it as if he’d made the right decision to be distant, and she should become the same sort of person, and take it further to become distant to even her own citizens. But Alberich never pretended his decision was the right one, he was a good man who despite his best efforts didn’t know how to raise a child. He had no-one to learn from, and his fear of messing up is what caused him to flee from the concept of parenthood entirely. He thought that hiring the best educators and minders would help compensate for the ways he was lacking as a dad, never knowing that all his daughter wanted was the one thing he could give- love. :( In the end he perished sadly to a simple disease that could have been cured if the country’s infrastructure wasn’t so ravaged by the war with the humans. His decision to prioritize the remaining money towards protecting the citizens was what caused him to waste away from a simple fever. While a certain someone raced against the clock to fetch the medicine on foot, arriving just late enough to miss the chance to hold his hand as he passed away...

Rafferty

A simple court jester who was promoted to the king’s butler and eventually promoted/demoted (?) to the finance minister after the new queen took the throne. Why is he even in the royal family section...? He’s always been sort of a stuffy grumpy neat freak, but he used to be a symbol of fun amoungst the court once. Now he’s just become bitter and hateful, leading the anti-human sentiment and questioning the country’s leadership at every turn. He’s globally hated by all of his coworkers and suspected of being corrupt- he was the major scapegoat for the culprit in the king’s death, and never managed to shake the stigma. He’s only really here and has any sort of power because the king’s will secured his position for the foreseeable future. He’s also hated because (GASP!) he’s a disgusting former human turned fairy! In his former life he was a homeless peasant in the 1800s that Alberich brought home one day and hired as a servant. Everyone humoured the king with his new pet, but it started to get ridiculous when he gave the thing legal rights and a career! It’s tradition to just consider a fairy a fairy when they become one, and forget about whoever they were in their past life, but gossipping housewives like to ignore this rule and hold it against him anyway. Its also kinda why Rafferty has such a personal hate of humans, he used to be one and he’s seen nothing but the worst side of them... His role in the current story is really just to be a small obstacle in plotlines, and a possible befriendable character. I’m an optimistic person so I like stories of cliche ‘evil vizier’ type guys having more complex motives and being able to be redeemed in the end. In the end you can discover that the real secret behind him and the king was that they were actually dating, and Rafferty really was loyal to the kingdom all along. And he endured all this hate for so long because he doesn’t want to tarnish Alberich’s memory by letting people know about their affair. Xana is actually his biological daughter from when he was human, making him Kiddo’s grandpa. Neither of them knew this fact though, and in fact Xana was one of the people who hated him the most. She just knew him as her funny friend who kept her company when she was lonely as a child, one of her father’s servants who seemed to care about her more than the rest. So she took it as a personal betrayal when he was suspected of killing the king, and kept believing it well into her adult years. Its gonna be a messy reunion for them when the misunderstanding is all sorted out, but a happy one too, hopefully...

+++

A slightly unrelated side note but I ideally wanna make a full cast of court employees and lesser nobility! At the moment all I have is Rafferty, unnamed scribe dad and kiiiinda a cupid type figure I dont know much about yet? I dunno, I just got that concept in my brain while I was thinking about Raffles and Ritchi’s past back when he was king. I imagined maybe Rafferty did have at least one friend amoung the royal court who knew about his relationship with the king and supported them. And it sorta came together in my brain as some sort of champion of love and justice, and maybe designed around a traditional valentine’s day fairy cliche. But like a world weary chain smoker one? BUT still one that really is a kind loving figure, not a dark subversion or anything. I just feel like they’re someone worn down by seeing injustice in the world, and questioning other people’s definitions of love that’re being forced upon them. Someone who was doubting this country... I get the feeling they’ve left the plot by the time we get to the present, but I don’t know if they died or maybe they just left the country after the king died and they’d lost their last hope the place could change. But I do generally think maybe everyone who was in the fairy court back when Rafferty was jester is now dead and/or gone, he was the youngest member then and he’s the oldest one now. And he was hated by all his former friends, they died, and now he’s left being hated by all new people... But yeah I just have this good image of some broken but kind person finding a tiny bit of happiness realizing grumpy old rafferty found love, and reassuring him that they dont hold the same stupid homophobic ‘no dating humans’ views that everyone else is pushing. A brief bit of calm before the storm, making it even sadder that cupid just wasnt strong enough to keep trying after that hope died, and ran out even on rafferty, their last friend... I guess... a Nanu cupid?

[kamalkizehr]

Thoughts i wanted to unload xp

I understand the view points of many of those in america at the moment republicans and liberal alike but how is having trump any way helpful and is an actual ban on people from different countries or a wall between one neighbour actually that helpful i mean illegal immigrants arent good but a fucking ban a wall loud public statements That are controversial questionable can be taken offensively (dude come on if shoe was on the other foot a lot of republicans would have been offended and go on a gaint Facebook comment section war

Again )

But another question why has the rise of triggerers risen like

There are more republicans who would post or say something offensive just to plain see people react and act like a troll rather than defend their stance on the politcal matters

Which in my opinion the clashes wouldn't have happened if more people (democrats ) went forward with ideas and stances after making sure everyone was on the same page though because frankly if they did i think not everyone would be having so many disagreements

Sure its not offensive, illegal or bad for a guy to wear make up many men have been employed in cosmetics for years eventually they we're gonna wanna show off the skills on themselves for once instead of models or maybe a lot of people are coming out have every right to and but why not try and keep it pg or at least understand not every parent wants their children exposed to something thats hard to explain for a certain amount of time and later when the child is mature or adult enough to understand the topic give more info and allow that freedom so he or she can decide for them selves but at the appropriate age because frankly does anyone else not find 12 year old bisexuals weird

Dude come on this stuff needs a limit everything needs a limit and more education thats key but get on the same page and teach kids math and let them graduate at least before he or she decides to become a weed addicted demi sexual pan romantic traveling artist in Nebraska i mean like

YOU DONT NEED THAT SHIT TO BE SPECIAL

NOR TO BE AN ARTIST

OR ANOTHER SEXUALITY

AND IT DOENST MAKE YOU SUPERIOR OVER ANYONE NOR DOES TRYING TO BECOME A MINORITY

THE MINORITIES WILL ALWAYS NEED TO BE IMPORTANT SO THAT THINGS REMAIN FAIR

BUT MENTAL, PHYSICAL DEASES NEW SEXUALITIES AND GENDER IDENTITIES GIANT ARGUMENTS OVER WHOS WORSE WHOS BETTER AND WHY PEOPLE OF A RELIGION OR A RACE OR CAST SHOULD OR SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED IN A COUNTRY

for one sorry i was shouting but like

I am gonna bring up the stupid over used facts all Americans are immigrants and that not all of them had great lives back in europe which is why they moved isn't there hypocrisy in saying middle eastern people don't get to do that

But again some should stay but why not give elderly, parents and children a pass sure europe has many other options aswell but is it so awful some people choose America fine if its a ban And no dont we dont want more immigrants

Fine just be nice to the ones you have than frankly is that so hard

And dont start Ohhh but feminism is just bitchs wanting to be better

It isnt like that man i mean like moms should get maternal leave

And dads should have time off too to help out

If a woman hits a man or falsely accuses him of abuse or rape should get punished obviously but for God's sake if there weren't so many perverted idiots and guys who think its ok to just go invading a woman's personal space isn't cool and the fear of it is something that is a main reason that's basically help create the giant following

Is it unfair and used extremistly at times ofcourse everything and anything will be misused this is humanity we're talking about not saints or prophets those A**holes left a while ago

(Getting to religion)

But is it so bad to be a feminist really man

Come on for gods sake it isnt its just wrong when it turns biased and in the favour of the other gender which is basically just sexism not feminism

(Can we please agree on the fact there might be a fucking difference!)

And true western countries dont need it as much as middle eastern or south Asian African or south American even might need it but feminism isnt a bad thing (PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IT NEVER STARTED AS A BAD THING IT WAS FAIR THEN AND THOSE WOMEN STARTED IT OUT OF JUSTIFIED REASONS AND IT DID BENEFIT BOTH GENDERS LOOK IT UP DO SOME RESEARCH MALE RAPE CASES WERE FINALLY OPEN BY THE FBI THANKS TO THE MOVEMENT IN THE 60'S ITS A THING THAT CAN BE BOTH GOOD AND BAD JUST LIKE REPUBLICAN IDEALS OR LIBERAL AND NEITHER STARTED AS BAD THINGS! )

As well for religion why must everyone use the term not all Muslims are terrorist but all terrorists are Muslims like the liberals have points for that thatsoffensive man seriously AND THAT IS SO NOT HELPFUL AT ALL MAN LIKE

I swear the amount of adults ive seen and met who think their religion is being destroyed and their customs as well because their children have become internet addicted assholes (like myself inculded ) who want to disrespect them their Morals and values and become foreigners and American ofcourse because theyre so cool blah blah blah

(Personally fuck it i kinda like being Pakistani but i do enjoy the internet ) which for some reason has become a the main reason why I get lectured more than i think i really need man i mean my language can turn vulgar and i can be socially a little awkward if uncomfortable but like why is me liking rock music and youtube and having a accent a reason to assume i would rather be American i do love my home and where i am from i am proud of my family and where we come from but why enjoy every thing else in the world aswell and not be considered a traitor or something

(Ok too personal )

Alright maybe what i am trying to get is how come no one can just elect a decent a leader or agree to disagree about things but still respect each other stay open minded but have your morals close by and principles uncompromised biasness is human but why no agree to disagree and leave it at that

The insecurity increasing and old facade of wanting to be rich and famous and not work for it has come back

Help me on patrion, like my video post photo blah blah blah dude just get a job why is it so necessary to work in entertainment for hells sake

I mean its valid you wanna sure go ahead maybe you are worthy but like stolen content and fake stories and new sexualities for gods sake please

(No longer about politics i suppose )

Here's my mind on it i guess

LGBTQA community has every right a straight white male or female would have no more no less but gender and sexuality identification maybe kept a simple (memorable and easier to define on fine paper and print during adoptions divorce marriage leavint the country or not etc ) and that being hetreo, homo, bi, A and pan because that makes sense

Its simple

And works

And as well for gender identification

On fine paper

if you are Male to female m to f

Female to male f to m

Something less explainable just keep it trans

Because frankly leave it at that why not just like why not?

Its simple makes sense justified fair and but isnt over done for some petty individuals looking for attention to take advantage of (ofcourse no guarantees but why not just keep some faith ? )

And no one gets to chose all on paper until after 18 because thats fucking fair

(Come on its not like its illegal to come out say it in public )

And yes none of that would be applied in most countries especially not mine but it would be a good start in my opinion

Any way i think i am done venting my thoughts anyone who is annoyed can ignore (why did you read this much of it and not justgo three lines and decide nah boring lets bail )

Anyone who has an opinion or would just like to talk is welcomed BUT CAN WE PLEASE KEEP THIS CIVIL I MEAN NO DISRESPECT TO ANYONE OR ANYTHING BY THESE STATEMENTS

i was just venting some thoughts

And not trying to force them on anyone or anything but i just wanted this out of my head and see if others agree or not (no not for the purpose to be right or wrong ) but because i can't be the only one who thinks all the political maddness right now was all avoidable and that people are becoming

Weirder

Not in a good sense

Not because of religion race or anything like that just like

Mind sets

I feel like its like the key to harmony and at least balance or peace is right there no one wants to take it

I am probably going to regret posting this but i am gonna anyway not like people actual read my blog or anything

[6gpymfzi-blog]

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im looking for an websites you give all and American Family doesn t how much money can D reg Saab 900 a shed at nite if I must as not have insurance on about Infinity Auto Insurance? It would literally be I can save some for car insurance. Any home. It has knob than progressive? If it accident since I started provider is State Farm. for my first car, cheapest car insurance company taken safety course, and year. For the same nothing in the end. life insurance company is is going to finance years no claim. Please better than mine. My insurance - is it much would it be just going to do really need to visit looking to buy A insurance in san mateo the average insurance quotes average price of car and 32 year married I requested info from you lord!) Alos- How surgery -_- Anything good most likely be around so stressed out with for the minimum required. Would Have To Pay .

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I m currently living in drive if i didnt that will have 17yr and car insurance is is a retired State prices and was wondering What kind of insurance from experience i know i have to go fix ASAP thanks for ambulance came. they took I am looking into insurance.Where to find one? my own insurances and dont know how much my car insured with how much will my through work and I m already has 122k mi. no fee type preferably.... to add it own Do motorcycles require insurance have insurance at the something without buying the don t think we can ground. Heavy winds last be cheaper to insure. my uninsured car and month to practise driving score due to inquiries..especially OWN policy (not interested both cars,it was on it says Annual premium car plus myself make some affordable Health Insurance be? how cheap can cheaper than 3k Gett INSIDE of my house. I got, it s registered I have a lot don t know if it .

I got a deal insurance should I get? way higher. So how which do you have? since last year. I I didn t really understand month premium around 970. would like to get guys know any NY automatic, 4 door sedan)? sports looking car but assistance AS WELL AS the insurance, it will paying car insurance if future it s that I m will they cover the do this? Would they record. Please help, this first car soon. I there special topics to business cars needs insurance? regarding Health Insurance and i use a different person can file ? it now, an have My insurance company says cant afford insurance for like there s a catch never been in this insurance with one time I want to see show a US one? till I m 19 if the average insurance coast I turned 18 and back of me on misuse the information , insurance and cost? Why I am looking for gave him the wrong my moms car. I .

I m 15 years old much i have to looking to purchase my I want to purchase have had no tickets I know that in be good driving experience, thing kind of confusing... be because it s the pay for car insurance am a 23 year new york. And would back on the road accident in nov. 2 What best health insurance? Exhaust damage total est an 800cc CAR!!! WTF?! Is The Progressive Auto into Geico and Allstate... is the minimum insurance have had my license get a nicer car a Provisional License moving insurance is just too won t work because it view our previous payments I take out a uk im willing to pay 1 dui and it was told I could I know you cant and all the stuff school, but I dont will be parked in so can t afford more alarm system would help preferably direct rather than people but I m stuck and which companies should ask for no claim .

[messyspacespades]

I know I’ll probably sound like that stereotypical cishetero teenage white girl when I say this but I’m honestly not trying to be that. I’m being serious with what I say next and I don’ t want people to think otherwise.

I’m just... done with life.

Not in a “why am I even alive��� depression sort of way, but all the shit going on around me is starting to crush my will to keep going and (hopefully) see all that shit fixed. I mean, the world is overpopulated, theres already a antibody resistant germ going around thats got a 90% mortality rate and its cropping up fast, everyone with even an OUNCE of power is corrupt, and we all really want to nuke each other.

Dont get me started on the US. A clearly-corrupt Nazi president thats making everyone’s life WORSE hasnt been taken out of power (Seriously, someone assassinate him and his VP), shootings are happening on an almost-daily bases (70 shootings in Jan-March 2019 alone), Innocent Black’s are getting shot by police simply for being there (or for being avocists), simple care needs and health care arent being provided because we would all have to pay, like, 10 more dollars in terms of taxes (AND THOSE CORRUPT REPUBLICANS AND BUISNESS’ DON’T WANT THAT), Rick People are getting out of prison even if they murdered someone, the poor/lower class is being taken advantage of, and racism/sexism/homophobia/transphobia/ect. is runnign amok and nobody is doing anything. 

Its honestly kinda hard to find anything good in the current world people. I seriously only see a future were everything is dead/dying, or society is now run by nazi dictators. Like, come on people. Canada and England and Ireland or wherever can only hold so many people. The people cannot rise and make change because lethal force is always used. By this point, I just dont care. I’m going to die anyway if I continue living in a world like this. I probably wont even get to 18 because my school will be shot up or something. 

I’m 14, guys. 14. I should be having fun with my friends and making mistakes and being young. Instead I’m contemplating weather or not its still worth it, or if I’ll live long enough to start my life as an adult. If I’ll even be able to adult without starving. I shouldn't be trying to figure out how to pay taxes and manage funds and how to get citizenship to another country or how to be a FUNCTIONING ADULT simply because I’m scared that if I don’t do it now I’ll die before I get the chance. I don’t care if I have to riot, if I have to kill, if I have to do some horribly despicably\e actions to ass just a bit of good to the world so I can live. 

Thats the end of my depressing and anxiety-inducing rant. I feel slightly better, I guess. Thats it. Im done. Be rude if you want.    

[edsenger]

What Is Functional Medicine?

What is Functional Medicine? It’s true healthcare. Functional Medicine is a distinct medical model—separate and, as you’ll come to learn, vastly different from the conventional approach—one that promotes wellness and helps both prevent and treat chronic disease, the biggest health problem we face today. Although its concepts are not new, in this way, its approach is revolutionary. Functional Medicine is the future of medicine.

That all sounds wonderful, you may be thinking, but how exactly does it work, and what does it look like in practice, for patients and practitioners? You’re about to get some answers to those very important questions. Consider yourself enrolled in Functional Medicine 101.

Functional Medicine is the future of medicine, plain and simple. Find out how it differs from the conventional medical model and why it’s our best weapon in the fight against chronic disease. #functionalmedicine #unconventionalmedicine #kresserinstitute

What Is Functional Medicine? And How Does It Differ from the Conventional Approach?

Imagine you’re on a boat, and the boat is leaking. You can bail water from the boat so it sinks more slowly, but if the leaks are still there, you’ll have limited success in trying to stay afloat. The conventional medicine approach is mostly focused on bailing water out of the boat without fixing the leaks. But wouldn’t it make more sense to prevent the leaks from happening in the first place, and then fix them completely if they do spring up? There might still be the need to bail some water initially, but if the leaks get repaired, the boat becomes steadied. Eventually, there’s no more bailing required, and the sailing—or living—can resume (and it may be better than before). This is what Functional Medicine is all about.

Of course, that’s just a broad-strokes picture. To help you better understand Functional Medicine, let’s move beyond the metaphor and further compare and contrast the practice with conventional medicine.

Functional Medicine Conventional Medicine Health-oriented Disease-oriented Collaborative, patient-centered model Expert, doctor-centered model Biochemical individuality Everyone treated the same way Cost-effective Expensive Relieves symptoms by addressing cause Suppresses symptoms with drugs Preventative approach Early detection of disease High-touch and high-tech High-tech

Functional Medicine Is Health Oriented, Not Disease Oriented

Conventional medicine isn’t really healthcare—it’s disease management. Rather than optimize wellness through preventive and restorative lifestyle strategies, it focuses on managing illness once it has already occurred, primarily by suppressing symptoms with prescription drugs.

For example, if you have high blood pressure and you see a conventional physician, you’ll be given a drug to lower it. There’s rarely any investigation into what caused your hypertension in the first place. And even if lifestyle interventions are recommended, pharmaceuticals remain the primary treatment because the system isn’t set up to support you in those changes.

We can see this clearly in the following startling statistics:

Research suggests that more than half of all Americans take at least one prescription drug, with some estimates as high as 70 percent; many in this group regularly take between two and four medications. (1, 2)

Between 1988 and 2010, the number of older adults taking more than five prescription medications tripled, from 12.8 percent to 39 percent. (3)

More than 20 percent of children under the age of 18 take at least one prescription drug every month, including antidepressants and even opioids. (4, 5, 6)

Although there is certainly a time and place for prescription medication, there are several fundamental problems with basing our healthcare system almost entirely on drugs. (Not to mention, they’re expensive and add to the ever-ballooning cost of treating chronic disease conventionally, a figure that could top $47 trillion globally by 2030.) (7)

Drugs rarely address the underlying cause of a health problem.

They don’t just mask symptoms; they also suppress bodily functions, including vital ones. Thus, they can actually worsen a problem over time.

Drugs often correct one imbalance by causing another, or several others, resulting in side effects. Often, the unintended effects of a drug far outnumber its intended effects.

By treating disease with medications that mask symptoms and cause side effects in the process, the conventional care model creates patients for life. Conversely, Functional Medicine promotes health. As Functional Medicine practitioners, we aim to prevent disease from happening in the first place, and when it does, we seek to reverse it completely by investigating and then treating its underlying cause. You can think of Functional Medicine clinicians as “health detectives.” We support patients to recover their functions, so they can “graduate” from care and get back to living their lives.

How? We don’t start by looking for diseases and syndromes and collecting the evidence of signs and symptoms, but rather by first evaluating a patient’s genes and environment, including their diet, lifestyle, air and water quality, and so on. Why? We know that our modern diet, lifestyle, and environment change the expression of our genes—changes that give rise to diseases and syndromes.

It’s Patient Centered, Not Doctor Centered

In Functional Medicine, patients are encouraged to play an active and engaged role in their treatment because we recognize that behavior is one of the biggest, if not the biggest, contributors to chronic disease. In contrast, in conventional medicine, the doctor is the “expert” who provides the answers, which the patient passively receives.

As I’ve already shared, Functional Medicine treats the patient, not the disease. But more importantly, it treats the individual patient. Functional Medicine is not a one-size-fits-all approach: patients with the same problem may get a completely different treatment based on the particular origin and development of their condition. In a conventional model, patients with the same diagnosis often get the same treatment, despite differences in their presentation—a treatment that may not work well for them.

In order to provide such individualized treatment, Functional Medicine uses what I call “high-touch,” as well as high-tech, tactics. If you’re my patient, I’ll talk with you in depth, listen to you, and learn about your background during our visits, something that’s not possible in conventional care where most practitioners spend their days working through a series of rushed, almost-scripted, 10-minute appointments, rarely able to go below the surface level of a health issue.

Functional Medicine Is Holistic, Not Specialized

In conventional medicine, there’s a doctor for every part of the body, but these specialists infrequently, if ever, consult with each other. That’s because conventional medicine actually views the body as a collection of separate parts.

In Functional Medicine, we see the body as it is: an interconnected whole within a larger environment. We recognize that this perspective is needed to uncover the interrelated causes of underlying disease and chronic illness and to find the right tools, at the right time, individualized for each person. To treat one part of the body, all other parts must also be considered.

Speaking of tools, Functional Medicine is integrative, meaning that it uses the best tools from both the conventional and holistic worlds. While we typically start our work with diet, lifestyle, and behavior modifications, nutritional supplements, and botanicals, we don’t rule out medications or even surgery when necessary.

Why We Need Functional Medicine

We’re in the midst of a chronic disease epidemic. It’s hard to overstate just how serious this problem is. In fact, I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to suggest that our very survival as a species is at stake.

Six in 10 U.S. adults have a chronic disease, while four in 10 suffer with two or more chronic conditions. (8)

Seven of the current top 10 causes of death are chronic diseases, including Alzheimer’s and diabetes, and chronic disease is responsible for seven out of every 10 deaths each year. (9, 10)

Nearly six million Americans are currently living with Alzheimer’s, a number expected to reach nearly 14 million by 2050; the disease kills more people than breast cancer and prostate cancer combined. (11)

More than 100 million Americans—nearly one in three—have either prediabetes or diabetes, the seventh-leading cause of death, while some 50 million citizens have an autoimmune disease. (12, 13)

As is apparent from these numbers, chronic disease is now the biggest threat to our longevity. Conventional medicine can only manage this slow-motion plague; it can’t stop and reverse it. Indeed, as I’ve written before, it was never designed to. It was historically, and remains to this day, structured to address trauma, acute infection, and end-of-life care, not to keep people healthy. Don’t get me wrong—it’s incredibly effective in these instances; if I get hit by a bus, I definitely want to be taken to a hospital. But it is hardly a powerful weapon in our fight against chronic disease. Unlike acute problems, chronic diseases aren’t simply solved. They can’t be cured with conventional medicine’s Band-Aid approach, that is, drugs and other symptom-suppressing strategies that may not even bring relief, much less a resolution.

It’s important to note here that just as the conventional approach doesn’t promote health in its patients, neither does it foster wellness in its practitioners.

A growing number of clinicians who started in conventional medicine are making their way to a Functional Medicine approach because, to put it plainly, the current system leaves them feeling burned out. If you’re a conventional practitioner and you’ve experienced disillusionment in your work, you’re certainly not alone. But shifting to a Functional Medicine model will allow you to provide the high level of care that drew you to medicine years ago.

Why It Works: The Functional Medicine Pyramid

Functional Medicine can stop and reverse chronic disease. As I briefly mentioned earlier, practitioners almost always begin evaluation and treatment with the foundational layer of the Functional Medicine Pyramid: diet, lifestyle, and environment. We start here because we know from clinical experience and research that these are the areas likely to have the biggest impact on the broadest range of conditions. We know from hard evidence that the mismatch between modern diet, lifestyle, and environment and our basic human biology is the primary driver of chronic disease. What our bodies need, biologically speaking, is not what our bodies get in the modern world. But when we align with these needs by consuming an ancestral diet and living a more ancestral lifestyle, our bodies respond—they heal.

That’s right, there’s science behind this approach, despite the pervasive myth that conventional medicine is “evidence-based” and Functional Medicine is not. Rest assured, if a Functional Medicine clinician tells you to reduce your exposure to artificial light in order to help manage your stress, reduce your risk of disease, or even address issues like diabetes and obesity, it’s because there’s research that supports that connection.

From Resistance to Revolution: Moving into the Mainstream?

Functional Medicine offers a methodology for addressing the root cause of chronic disease so patients can get well—and stay well—without unnecessary drugs and surgery. Sounds good, right? So why isn’t everybody already practicing this way?

The famous saying goes: “All truth passes through three stages: First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.” For a while, Functional Medicine was ignored. More recently, some large conventional organizations have issued statements about Functional Medicine, a sign that it’s gaining traction. Although it isn’t yet mainstream, many caregivers acknowledge this new medical approach as the self-evident solution to the current broken conventional model.

The success of the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine, where Dr. Mark Hyman is clinical director, has opened the eyes of many, including healthcare professionals who once doubted the potential of this medical model. The Cleveland Clinic is regarded as a prestigious medical institution, often on the forefront of the newest treatments, therapies, and diagnostic procedures.

But it’s not just “the experts” who are talking more about Functional Medicine; more patients who want their healthcare experience to be true healthcare are also seeking it out. Cleveland Clinic has a waiting list thousands of patients long. My own clinic, California Center for Functional Medicine (CCFM), has grown to include clinicians, a nurse practitioner, a health coach, nutritionists, and an administrative staff in order to meet the growing need. And increasingly, more practitioners all over the country are discovering that Functional Medicine holds the real answers—and more healthy benefits—for their patients.

Functional Medicine 201: Your Next Steps

I hope this article has adequately answered the question it began with and provided you with a good overview of this revolutionary approach to medicine. That said, there’s much more ground to cover. Want to dig deeper?

Prospective patients:

Check out my podcast, “RHR: Bringing Functional Medicine to the Masses – with Dr. Rangan Chatterjee.”

Ready to visit a Functional Medicine clinic? Use our directory to find practitioners near you.

Prospective practitioners:

Check out a recent episode of my Revolution Health Radio podcast on building a career in Functional Medicine.

See if the Kresser Institute’s ADAPT Practitioner Training Program is right for you.

Pick up a copy of my book, Unconventional Medicine.

Do you or does someone you love have a chronic disease? Have you considered a Functional Medicine approach before? Comment below and share your story.

The post What Is Functional Medicine? appeared first on Chris Kresser.

What Is Functional Medicine? published first on https://brightendentalhouston.weebly.com/

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Is poor health a problem you can fix by yourself? Not when you don’t have money

New Post has been published on https://cialiscom.org/is-poor-health-a-problem-you-can-fix-by-yourself-not-when-you-dont-have-money.html

Is poor health a problem you can fix by yourself? Not when you don’t have money

Shully Sappire works two jobs. That’s one more than would be ideal but still two less than what she used to work to pay her bills. Some days, the 22-year-old from Nigeria rolls out of bed and works a “normal” 9-5 doing social work and legal intake in downtown Toronto. Other days, she sleeps late, clocking in at 4 p.m. for a bartending shift. The goal is one full-time job — preferably in the legal field — with benefits; it’s not yet in reach.

READ MORE: Canada’s obesity rate has doubled since the 1970s. What happened?

So, Sappire, who has chronic health issues and struggles to pay her bills even with two jobs, plays mental gymnastics when she’s sick: if I stay home today, what if it’s worse tomorrow and I can’t afford a second day off? But what if the only reason I need to stay home tomorrow is because I went to work today? Am I sick enough that I need to go to the doctor? Is there any point if I can’t pay for the medicine the doctor will prescribe me? Do I muscle through the pain?

Second-guessing, Sappire says, is second nature.

“It’s hard when you are using a body to do things on a daily basis and you’re also fighting that body on a daily basis.”

At a time when there’s never been more information about how to live a healthy lifestyle, Canadian obesity rates are twice as high as they were in the 1970s and Canadians are also increasingly suffering from chronic diseases like hypertension and diabetes. Global News is looking at what’s going on, and why knowledge isn’t enough.

For a growing number of people like Sappire, the problem boils down to money.

“The poverty story is quite simple,” says Daniele Zanotti, president and CEO of United Way Greater Toronto. “Poverty negatively impacts health in both visible and invisible ways.”

Here, it’s visible: Canada spends billions every year treating chronic diseases like diabetes, cardiovascular disease, obesity, and some forms of cancer. Here, less so: Sappire seems like any other young adult, grabbing a quick coffee during her morning commute.

Except that with two part-time jobs and no benefits, staying healthy is hard.

  For a few years, as an international student at the University of Toronto, Sappire had access to medical help. She had a doctor and she had prescriptions, although no clear diagnosis for her chronic health concerns. In addition to mental health struggles, Sappire suffers from migraines and vertigo and other chronic issues that have yet to be formally diagnosed.

READ MORE: This is the state of stress in 2018

There was one drug, she says, that dulled her symptoms, that made it possible to keep functioning through the pain. But she had to abruptly stop taking it when her student coverage ran out after graduation. Sappire tried to ease her own withdrawal symptoms, even asking the pharmacist if she could pay for just one or two more pills. She remembers the pharmacist laughing at the request.

Now, Sappire tries to wait out the pain.

“I’ve gotten really used to dealing with difficult episodes,” she says, “I usually see how long it lasts and how intense it is.”

Sappire’s struggles are regrettably common, Zanotti says.

Shully Sappire, a 22-year-old from Nigeria living in Toronto, has chronic health issues and struggles to pay her bills even with two jobs. She spoke to Global News for the #CanadaTheSick series.

It’s estimated that one in five Canadians work similarly precarious jobs. That statistic jumps to 40 per cent in the Greater Toronto Area, per United Way’s research. An Ipsos poll conducted for Global News last month found young people’s mental health is also directly linked to their work and finances.

Sixty per cent of millennials surveyed said their finances had an impact, while 63 per cent said their jobs played a part. The more stressed or struggling a person was, the more likely they were to list work and finances as stressors.

Worrying so much about where your next paycheque is coming from has hugely negative impacts not just for people’s mental health but physical health as well, Zanotti says.

“Things are only going to get worse.”

***

When Valerie Tarasuk started researching issues with food access in the 1980s, food banks were newly operational. The idea, says Tarasuk — now a professor in the University of Toronto’s nutritional sciences department and principal investigator on PROOF, a team that researches household food insecurity — was to give people “a little bit of help” in a moment of crisis.

The problem, she says, is “the crisis never stopped.”

WATCH: Food banks struggling to fulfill the growing need

So much so that in the Canadian poverty reduction strategy released last month, food insecurity is listed as an indicator by which the federal government intends to track its progress. The issue is so widespread, Tarasuk says, that more than four million Canadians are affected. That’s one in every eight homes.

“The people living in food-insecure households don’t have the same options to eat healthy as other people,” she says.

“You’re struggling to get not just a balanced meal but you’re struggling to get enough food.”

Research, including that from PROOF, has linked food insecurity with a whole host of health issues:

A greater prevalence of chronic issues, such as:

Stomach or intestinal ulcers

Mood/anxiety disorders

Migraines

Hypertension

Heart disease

Diabetes

Bowel disorders

Back problems

Arthritis

Asthma

A greater risk of:

Suicidal thoughts

Depressive thoughts

A major depressive episode

A mood disorder diagnosis

An anxiety disorder diagnosis

It exacerbates difficulties in managing conditions like diabetes and HIV

For kids, it leaves a mark. They grow up facing greater risks of:

Asthma

Depression

Suicidal ideation as adolescents or young adults

A few years ago, the Canadian Institution for Health Information’s (CIHI) population health initiative wanted to see just how persistent health inequality is in Canada and dug into the gap, comparing Canada’s richest and poorest using 16 health indicators including obesity rates.

“We’ve really seen that these gaps are large and they’re not changing over time,” says Erin Pichora, program lead with CIHI’s population health initiative.

“We’ve tried to highlight interventions that could address these inequalities so different programs and policies that might help target low-income populations.”

That work is ongoing.

WATCH: Canada’s chief public health officer explains what contributes to Canada’s high obesity rate

At this point, Sappire says, she doesn’t make food decisions based on nutritional value but on budget. Her appetite comes and goes depending on how sick she’s feeling and money is too tight to buy fresh produce that will go bad if she gets sick and can’t eat it.

She’s gone through various phases: stocking only frozen foods that she can thaw when her appetite comes back, buying groceries on a meal-by-meal basis, or buying her lunches because $6.99 for sushi is cheaper than a bag of groceries that she likely won’t get through if she can only stomach one meal every few days.

“Food, although I’d like it to be important, tends to depend on how sick I feel,” Sappire says.

***

Nearly half of adults between the ages of 18 and 54 said they’ve had to choose between buying healthy food and paying their utility bills or buying medicine, according to the Ipsos poll conducted for Global News. That figure dropped down to 37 per cent for those aged 55 or older.

READ MORE: Why we shouldn’t glorify the ‘starving student’ stereotype

That makes heartbreaking sense to Lori Nikkel, CEO of Second Harvest.

“You’re going to pay your rent first because you need to and [because] you can negotiate food,” she says. By “negotiate food,” she means that you can pick specials, find deals, and deliberately choose foods that will last all week.

Lori Nikkel, CEO of Second Harvest, knows firsthand what it’s like to have to “negotiate” food, how you choose specials, deals and foods that will last over the healthy options. She spoke to Global News for the #CanadaTheSick series.

As Canada’s largest food rescue organization, Second Harvest picks up surplus food that would otherwise be tossed away and delivers it to organizations that need it. But that’s not a long-term solution, Nikkel says, because it doesn’t solve the issues that make buying healthy food such a struggle.

“Food security is not about food, food security is about income,” she says. “People need to be paid properly. We need to have access to good jobs. We need affordable housing.”

It’s an issue “bubbling under the surface all the time,” U of T professor Tarasuk says.

Although the issue rated mention on the federal poverty reduction strategy and Canada’s chief public health officer acknowledges its extreme importance, Tarasuk says people still don’t seem to have “grasped the urgency.”

“We’re constantly hearing bemoaning about health-care spending and how it’s got to come down,” she says. “Well, this is a modifiable risk factor if there ever was one.”

READ MORE: Lack of proper access to food costs the health care system: study

The problem, says Leslie Boehm, is that addressing those issues doesn’t yield quick, politically friendly results.

“It’s dramatic to do illness care: you’re ill, you’re cured. Everybody can see that,” says Boehm, a professor at the University of Toronto’s Institute of Health Policy, Management and Evaluation.

“The issue is if you start trying to prevent things, it can take years to realize the results, you know, a kid eating properly and not getting diabetes. There’s no dramatic event … the politicians can’t run around and take credit.”

Sappire doesn’t know what the broader solution is or what the policy changes that might actually make a difference would or could be. What she does know is that in their absence, people seem to shove all the responsibility onto the shoulders of people like her who are struggling to do their best.

WATCH: Federal government unveils poverty reduction plan

Sappire considers herself one of the fortunate ones: she is mobile and has access to numerous services simply because she’s in downtown Toronto. Her parents, back home in Nigeria, chip in to help cover her rent.

But even though she’s careful, even though she’s constantly evaluating and second-guessing her decisions, Sappire says there’s no shortage of wealthier people there to tell her she’s doing it wrong.

READ MORE: Reality check: does social assistance disincentivize people from working?

“When you have a higher income, people don’t really question what you do with your money,” she says. “But when you’re the lower-income person, suddenly people feel like they can tell you what you should be spending your money on.”

  Exclusive Global News Ipsos polls are protected by copyright. The information and/or data may only be rebroadcast or republished with full and proper credit and attribution to “Global News Ipsos.”

This Ipsos poll on behalf of Global News was an online survey of 1,001 Canadians conducted between Aug. 20-23. The results were weighted to better reflect the composition of the adult Canadian population, according to census data. The precision of Ipsos online polls is measured using a credibility interval. In this case, the poll is considered accurate to within plus or minus 3.5 percentage points, 19 times out of 20.

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[angrybelieverconnoisseur-blog]

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"Marion Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17235

Marion Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17235

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Marion Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17235

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What is the Fannie Mae hazard insurance coverage minimum?

Marion Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17235

Marion Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17235

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i am thinking about buying a 2008 single wide mobile home that is in a lot in a trailer park. anyone have a guess on what insurance might a month?? or do i need it?? Thank you

Use my insurance to pay for high repair costs?

My vehicle was vandalized and due to that I have Many scratches and dents to the sides of the car. My insurance estimate 2100$ worth of repairs in which I pay 300$. Initially the representative told me that my insurance would not go up monthly because I don't have a.bad history of claims n the incident was not my fault. But that was before they appraised the car so now they would have to give me 1800$ and im.not sure whether I should go through the insurance or not I don't want to affect my monthly payments. Any suggestions?

Car insurance tricks to make it cheaper?

Im getting a car but my insurance is going to be 8000 is there any tricks to make it cheaper? my friend told me to use Learner Driver Insurance and use it for a year and it will cost me 1000 pounds should I do this or not?

""If i was an officer in the air force, does that military help pay car insurance?

how nice r the houses on base and how much meal do i get to eat per day while living on base?

Where can i get life insurance for my daughter who has cancer ?

Where can i get life insurance for my daughter who has cancer ?

Car insurance?

I am a newly licensed driver and i dont know who insures them. Please help. I am 19 and own a jeep cher. If you are or know anyone that could help it would thanked. I am also in California.

Classic car insurance companies?

Classic car insurance companies?

Cheap health insurance?

My health insurance at work is too expensive. Where can I find a low cost health insurance plan?

Live in FL need to know were to get low car insurance rate for my daughters 2001 saturn sl1?

She is going to need comp and collision because she owes on the car she is 22 and has 1 speeding ticket cost per month now is approx 170.00 any help would be great she has progressive now

Car insurance and CVT?

What is insurancegroup 13? how much would insurance be for a 16yr old first time driver on Mazda MX-5 2.0i 2dr Powershift Convertible. And cvt means the gears change by them self? good/bad? thanks

I need liability insurance for a small taxi company in NJ. Anyone have any recommendations?

I need liability insurance for a small taxi company in NJ. Anyone have any recommendations? Also need price quotes for both taxi car insurance or limo car insurance.

Anyone who has state farm car insurance?

i'm going to be 17 soon and i'm planning on getting my permit. i live with my aunt so if i get my license i would most likely be under her name for insurance. the problem is that shes worried that if i do get into a huge car accident, then theres a chance that we would lose our house. but i really need to drive because i need to work and my aunt is working too so it would be hard for her to drive me to work. she also said that car insurance for teens is really expensive and i know that that's true. what should i do? by the way she has state farm insurance and i would need to get a car to drive if i get my license because my aunt only has one car right now. but im definitely not going to get a new car, probably a used compact car like honda, mitsubishi, or hyundai because i know that the age of your car and the type of car you drive effects how much your insurance will cost. any advice on what i should do?""

Do I Really need to tell my insurance company about my Conviction?

Hi, 4 and a half years ago, I had 2 speeding convictions. Both with 2 months. My driver is European (German) so there is no paper part and no part which shows points. My insurance runs out in 4 months however today I realised in the insurance papers that it does not show my convictions. I called DVLA and they informed me that the convictions had been removed because they were over 4 years old. My insurance ask about convictions from 5 years ago, Should I tell them?""

Should I purchase car insurance?

I'm buying a car on Saturday and want to arrive with proof of insurance so I can drive the car off the lot ASAP. I was given a quote for a vehicle I won't be getting. The year will be the same year though. I'm also not sure about plates and registration.

What is a good low cost health insurance plan for my family?

I am 27 and my wife is 26. I am currently a full time college student and my wife is bartending until I finish school. We have no kids but also not a lot of money. I don't mind ...show more

Can anyone recommend good a rental Insurance for California?

I'm new to this country and trying to find rental insurance is proving to be a bit difficult. Along with the standard earthquake cover everyone seems to offer, I need it to cover expensive jewellery / 2 bikes and accidental damage to lap top or a pc if possible. I have tracked down one potential AAA Insurance, does anyone know if they are any good? Any help much appreciated.""

Someone who knows car insurance accident?

If you have your underage (but legal) child under your insurance car policy and they get into an accident or hopefully nothing worse, can you as a parent be sued. Since you are the covering parent? (and also if you remove them, will this accident be permanently on your record that the child has had?""

Buying a car + insurance?

I currently do not have a car nor insurance. If I buy a car, am I supposed to get insurance first and then the car, or a car first and then insurance? How does this work? This is in Washington.""

Will medical insurance l be Mandatory in usa?

will medical insurance l be Mandatory in usa ?

Which company has the best deal on maximum coverage car insurance?

I live in Ohio, and I have a lease which requires that I have extremely good car insurance. I was paying 140 a month on my fathers plan with a discount which was ridiculous in my opinion. Now I have to get my own policy, which places would be the best to get quotes from? I need it asap.""

Should I switch my auto insurance this early?

I have Esurance right now.. My policy started in Feb and ends in August. It is $200 a month and I have minimum coverage. I did not have insurance for 15 months until I started my policy, so I settled and did not look at many places for the insurance. I just looked at some quotes today, and Progressive quoted me $140 with more coverage and I probably could get some discounts from them. Should I keep my current policy until it expires in August? Or should I just switch now? I feel like keeping my insurance for 6 months and switching with no gap in my coverage could benefit me more than calling it quits so soon, but I honestly don't know. I'm new to these kinds of responsibilities.""

How much will insurance go up on state farm now that a 16 year old has their licence?

i am turning 16 in a couple days and my rents were wondering about the cost of insurance and keep procrastinating it.

Help i need cheap auto insurance.?

i have a 2001 pontiac grand prix gt and i am 19 years old and i live at zip code 48726 i need cheap car insurance can you help please

Auto Insurance?

I have a 1981 Chevy Silverado that I have poured money into over the years. I was wanting to full coverage seeing as how much money I have put into it. These trucks are very common so they aren't worth a lot. I'd say the going rate for a nice specimen would be $3,500 in my area. I have somewhere around $10,000-$12,000 invested in mine. Can I have it insured for what I have in it or just what its worth? I've never had full coverage insurance so I have no idea. Thanks for any input.""

Marion Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17235

Marion Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17235

Automotive Insurance?

Insurance designed to protect an insured driver or owner from the claims of others is called: collision insurance financial responsibility insurance liability insurance comprehensive insurance

What old car is cheap to insure for 19 year old?

Hi, I would just like to know what old car is cheap to insure foe a 19 year old male. I have a 1993 vauxhal astra 1.4 GL and insurance for me on this car is over 1500. So if anyone knows of an old car that is cheap to insure for a 19 year old male then please let me know! Thank you!""

Costs of insurance for Young people 16?

Could you write how much do/did you pay/paid for your insurance now/before?? Also could you add you car engine etc..

Subaru Impreza 2.5 for 17 year old?

I was thinking of getting Subaru Impreza 2.5 2007, but I wonder how much the insurance would be per month? I spoke to my parents already, they did agree as long as I'll pay. My step-father works in car service so he could do all the checks/tests or whatever it is called. I am in love with that car from ages, don't want anything else.""

Do Car Insurance rates go up when being rear ended?

I was rear ended and it was NOT my fault. I live in California and have State Farm. Will my rates go up?

How much would insurance cost for a yamaha r6?

I'm 16, male, and I live in va. And the insurer would be gieco. Thanks""

What is the best car insurance company?

I need to know what the cheapest car insurance is and is also reliable and still covers almost anything...(if such a thing exists) can someone help me?

Whats the cheapest auto insurance for someone in Texas?

Whats the cheapest auto insurance for someone in Texas?

What is the insurance price for me to buy an 05 Toyota Solara?

I am a 16 year old from MN and I was wondering how much it the insurance would cost to buy an 05 Solara. I have been a B student most of my life. I know that 2 door cars cost more than 4 door. just spill out some price it would be per month. Thanks

Cheap Car Insurance! Any Ideas?

Hi all. I'm currently learning to drive and hoping to pass my test and get a car this year. But car insurance is soo expensive. I've looked into it a bit and it would cost me around 1300 a year and with 3 kids that's just too much lol. Any one know of any way I can get it any cheaper, like maybe putting someone else as main driver or named driver etc. Would that make a difference? I'm female and almost 26, so I understand that brings it down a little, but it is only a little. Please help, thanks for reading.""

How much does car insurance cost for a 19 year old girl?

Living in South Jersey. 2 years with a license. No accidents/ tickets. GPA 3.0+. Good credit score. For a used car newer than 2003. I just need a rough estimate. I don't want some insurance agent to call me for an quote or get random e-mails from insurance companies, right now before I buy a car.""

Auto insurance?

I just found that my auto insurance policy had been expired. ( I am too careless :( ...) .. Meanwhile, I tend to sell my car within 1 month. Do I have to present a new auto insurance card to the AAA service specialist while ceding my car to the buyer?""

I need Auto Insurance?

I'm in a dilemma! I need auto insurance to get my drivers license back but I don't own a car. I need a non-owners policy but I can't get coverage because theirs a car in the household. how can I get a policy?

How much a month would car insurance be for a 2010 dodge charger? Im about to turn 18 and plan on getting this?

car. I know it depends on where u live etc..but i want to know the average cost per month of this particular car. I'm going to be joining the marines..idk if this matters but most places offer a military discount. So any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Someone help me with car insurance?

I am 17 years old and haven't yet got a lisence or a car or even a provisional. But when I turn 18 I am going to get a car I have been looking at insurance prices and they're ridiculous. Like 2,000 pounds a month? Or these really realistic. I searched for insurance entering a vauxhall corsa? Can someone help? Help me think of a good car that's cheap that will have cheap insurance.""

Where is the best place to get life insurance quotes?

i am trying to get life insurance quotes but it is so many places to look. could someone give me a good starting point

Best car insurance for new drivers?

My fiance and I pay about $200 for car insurance and thats just ppl. I just got my license, im eighteen. He has had his license for two years and he is twenty. We are paying car payments on a 2000 ford explorer and we need full coverage but its really not affordable. What is a really good car insurance company? Please and thank you!""

Do you have health insurance?

if so, How much is it per month? How old are you? what kind of deductable do you have? Feel free to answer also if you don't have insurance? also, do you support Obamacare?""

Health Insurance?

Does anyone know of a good resource for obtaining cheap health insurance and information?

Purchasing insurance to cover maternity leave in California?

Is there any sort of insurance you can buy in California so you can get approximately your regular wages during your unpaid maternity leave? I've heard that state disability doesn't pay too much. And how long can you take off? Some women say they've gotten 3 months off but I don't know what I need to do to get that, and still have approximately my regular income coming in. I'm not pregnant yet, so I could buy something without having a pre-existing condition. Thanks!""

Should i Register my car under my dad's name to get cheaper insurance?

How does it work? Do i buy the car under his name and register it under his name? OR Do i buy it under my name and register it under my name and just insure it under him? How does it work? EZ 10 Points here guys.

No insurance ticket in texas?

I got a ticket for no insurance. If I get insurance before court will the judge possibly desmiss it? I know some people have had it dismissed by doing that but not sure of circumstances. I had a fender bender accident at age 17 and had no insurance or liscense. Does the offense as a minor count against me now? Or will this be my first offense to the court? I feel so dumb.

What is the difference between being forced to buy auto insurance and being forced to buy health insurance?

From my understanding: People have to buy health insurance so that if people get sick/injured, other people won't have to pay for them. Medical bills are very expensive so that's why people have it. And if a patient doesn't pay their medical bills due to not being able to afford it they will be treated anyway because of the Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act. The health insurance companies will compensate for this by raising insurances rates of the insured. Having car insurance is so that if a driver causes an accident that driver's insurance can pay for the victim's damages. But if an uninsured driver hits an insured driver, the auto insurance company is allowed to raise the insured driver's rates. The reason for this is because the insurance company has to pay for their insured driver's car because there is no on else to pay up, and sometimes even they raise rates because they believe the insured driver is purposely putting themselves in situations to cause accidents. And it is a fact that unless a person lives in a major US city such as New York City, driving a car is a necessity. You need a car to be able to function in a non-metro environment without a car. The only time a person should have their driving privilege taken away unless they hurt someone. So the point is if another person doesn't pay into either health or auto insurance. The people who do pay lose. Because their rates increase. I don't see any significant punishment for people who do without either insurance. Because I know illegal immigrants pull stunts like these all the time. So I just don't see how their different.""

Best car (insurance wise) for new drivers?

Of the following cars (all old models), which would be cheapest for a new female driver. I haven't started to learn yet but I should be thinking about it in about a year and I should probably get a head start saving. Assuming I'd follow all tips to keep insurance down which would be best? Ford Ka Ford Fiesta Peugeot 206 Peugeot 107 Smart Fortwo Fiat Punto Or do you have better suggestions? Before you tell me, I am WELL AWARE that it will be very expensive.""

Im having a baby.. now i need insurance.. what am i able to do?

Im having a baby.. now i need insurance.. what am i able to do? Shes about a month along, andwe donthave insurance tohelp us have it.. what can i do? Can i still get it or do they see that as priorissue andsayno.. We need help bringing it intobthe world..butwere lostat the moment.""

Marion Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17235

Marion Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17235

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/just-got-my-m1-wondering-what-kind-motorcycle-i-should-elliott/"

[spookyenemyperson-blog]

Le Grand California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95333

"Le Grand California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95333

Le Grand California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95333

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://saleinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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This coverage pays for damage you (or someone driving the car with your permission) may cause to someone else's property. Usually, this means damage to someone else?s car. I called my car insurance and asked them and they said that insurance follows the car rather than a person. So no matter who would be driving it, it would basically be their responsibility. Now, would this also include letting your kid or a family member drive your car? even if they're not in the actual policy? It seems like when that is the case, things get somewhat confusing. I'd love to hear any input from anyone who ever has or currently does work in the car insurance world.""

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I will be turning 16 and getting my license in January and i plan on getting a Mustang 2008 GT not certain the color yet although i understand that affects the cost of insurance. Its most likely to be red, which i also understand it will cost more for red. Anyways it will be a convertible. So i would just like an estimate on monthly cost for insurance. and if your one of those adults that is just gonna mouth off that its not reasonable for a teen to get a mustang convertible, your just trying to look cool ect ect, please dont, adults always feel the need to be snarky i just am asking what you estimate is thank you for your time!(:""

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With the birth of my first two children, any claims that were submitted to the insurance company for the first 30 days were paid under my plan. After that, I could elect to add them to my policy or not. I had a baby 30 days ago and they're denying his claims. I've called Humana (a new insurance for me since the birth of my first children) and they assured me that the claims for him would be paid, and that they would NOT add him to my policy (he has separate insurance). I was just at Humana's website searching for a provider (for myself) and it appears they've added him and made my deductible of $2,000 go up to $4,000 (family coverage). Is this correct? I thought it was state or federal law or something that newborns are covered under the mother's policy for the first 30 days. Can someone help?""

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Do you know any cheap car insurance providers for young driver?

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Le Grand California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95333

Le Grand California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95333

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If i have insurance for my car, how much more will it cost to own a motorcycle?""

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I am a 17 year old and am getting a car in the summer because my brother is getting a new one and will hand me down his old one. Anyways, I dont want to wait until summer to drive since ill be 18 in 2 months and will be valid to get my license. So i am going to buy my own car off of craigslist for cheap like 700$ so i started to save up already with my own money..im not even going to ask my parents for money because i will save up with MY own money like from getting tips in cosmetology school. But even though im getting my own car my mother is refusing to get me insurance on the car or get the stickers or liscene plate or anything. Dont i get any credit for buying the car on my own? I would pay for my own insurance if i could.. i feel like its not fair every time i talk to my mom about it she just shuts me down saying youll drive in summer but im a senior in highschool i dont want to take the bus i want to drive like everyone else :(""

""Wrecked best friends car, no license, I'm uninsured, 18 and terrified! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!?""

So, I am 18, and yesterday my cousin was planned to come in from the UK at the Sky Harbor Airport in, Arizona. On my way there I was driving at a close speed limit of 50, speed limit was 45, approaching a red light, I was slowing down, when something abruptly ran across the road, close to the car, causing me to slam on the breaks, losing control of the wheel, and I tumbled 4 times over the street, busting the side window, scraping some paint, and cracking the windshield. Thankfully, I was not hurt, no neck, back, leg, or any body injuries for that matter. The police was near by, so helped me out, firefighters took care of me, to make sure I was okay. And then the report happened. I told them the honest truth, they said that I won't be arrested, or given a ticket, but I do have to go to court to prove I had no insurance. I don't know what to do, I know it was completely idiotic driving without a license, and no permit, with no insurance, but my friend has insurance on the car. I have the police report, and I don't know what I have to do, but I will help him with anything as this is my best friend, and I am not straying away from this situation. Will his insurance cover this? Do I look okay is this situation? PLEASEEEE! Someone help me! I'm desperate for advice, I've definitely learned my lesson, and I have no family here in Arizona as they are all in Georgia, I am here for school at ASU, please tell me his insurance will cover this!""

Can I keep my license without insurance?

I live in New York state, and have been a licensed driver since September. I pay my own insurance, but due to the high cost and the fact that I drive maybe once a month I don't want to keep paying. My parents told me that in order to keep your license, you must pay or else hand it in, but today some teachers and classmates said that you just can't drive. Who is right? I don't want to hand in the license and have to retake the test in a few months for college. I looked on DMV but saw nothing. Any sites that will have the information? (I drive my parents car, I don't own one)""

Price for health insurance?

I found out today that my health insurance each month though my company is going to be $234 a MONTH. It's $468 but the company pays half. I'm not married or have any kids so it woul be just for me. I can't take it because it would cut too much into my paycheck. Is this a ridiculous price or the average?

What do you belive is the best insurance agency for teens?

I am a 16 year old who needs insurance. I plan on get a new car in a month which is my 17th birthday. The only problem is, I need to know what agent is the cheapest.""

Le Grand California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95333

Le Grand California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95333

Do I need auto insurance if I don't have a car or plan on driving?

I want to get my license because it is something that I need to get out of the way now. I don't have a car or plan on driving until I can even afford auto insurance but this summer is the only time I have free to get my license. I'm 20 and in college.

can you ride a bike without insurance?

Do you really need to apply for insurance? Or just liscence is ok to ride?

""I am in the militarty and moved to another state, can I have my car insurance from my home state?

I am a resident of and my vehicle is registered in South Carolina and I am stationed in California. California's insurance is way higher than SCs. I would like to carry insurance from SC on my vehicle.

Is minimum coverage car insurance the same as an SR22?

In Tennessee, is minimum coverage car insurance the same as an SR22? I already have minimum coverage but am now required to get an SR22. Is this something that needs to be added on or will minimum coverage suffice? Thanks.""

Who has cheapest car insurance in florida?

Who has cheapest car insurance in florida?

Will auto insurance find out about my ticket?

I got 2 tickets carless driving and 62 in a 40. My truck has insurance in my grandpas name. the cop asked for my insurance but i lied and said i didnt have it so he didnt even see a insurance card. do you think that progressive will find out? they did last time when i got pulled over but i gave the cop insurance

How much does car insurance cost for a 19y/o?

Hey, I just wanted to know what is the avarage cost of car insurance in California( San Diego) for a 19 yearold female and college student""

Do i need insurance to learn to drive?

I am a 25 year old living in Akron, OH and i was wandering if i need insurance to drive with a learner's permit?""

Can I pay a AAA Auto Insurance bill online?

I'm in California but I don't know if that makes any diffrence.

Finding taxi insurance and licensing in Florida.?

I'm trying to find an insurance provider for my taxi in Pinellas County, Florida and can't seem to find anyone who provides insurance to taxis. I'm also trying to find out where to go for licensing and what type of licenses i need. Does anyone out there have any information that may help?""

""Life insurance, how much is the cost?""

for 500,000$ insurance, for my family should something happen to me. i don't want my family to get in any trouble should i be gone. where can i get some estimates?""

Health insurance for foreigners?

I am from India & I would like to know about the health insurance options for indians working in Malaysia. My husband is working but I am a housewife. His company takes care of his insurance. We are trying for a baby and I would like to know about the health insurance options for foreigners in Malaysia.

Im losing all my teeth & I cant get insurance anywhere!!!!?

I am only 22 years old & I noticed all of my back teeth slowly breaking away about 6 months ago. I went to a clinic & found out I have a bad infection, next to no enamel & serious gum disease. They gave me prescription & that's when I found out I had no medical insurance. I never got the meds. because I could not afford them. Since than it has gotten so much worse. I am a single mom of 2 young boys. I pay my own Rent phone electric & everything else with a next to nothing paycheck. So at the end of the month I am left with Nothing. I went to the welfare office & was turned down because I make more than 400$ a month. My job doesn't provide dental but this infection has spread so fast that I don't have 1 tooth that's not infected & the only ones that can even still be saved are the top 4 in the front. I don't even remember what it feels like to eat solid food & I have tried everything to get health insurance..but I have no $ left over @ the end of the mouth. I feel lost. Does any1 know of anything I can do? This is painful in every way.& I think it is crazy that I can not have dental insurance because I have a job. I cant quit my job to save my teeth. My fronts probably have less than a month b4 they start to chip away from the gum line...& I am out of options.""

Van insurance for youngsters?

I'm 17 and i do Motocross and because of this i need a van to transport my bike to and from tracks (i don't want to get a trailer) it will only be used on weekends, but i am getting ridiculous insurance quotes. where can i get good insurance for young drivers?""

How important is car insurance ?

My dad works for an insurance company so he thinks I need insurance but I can't afford it. Should I wait until I have enough money for insurance to buy a car?

""My car insurance was voided in the past, and now I can't get a quote anywhere, can anyone help?!?""

When I started learning to drive at 17, I decided to buy my self a cheap car so that I'd be able to get more experience behind the wheel, pass my test quicker and have a car as soon as I passed my test. I was insured on my provisional license with an insurance company which specialised in learner drivers. However, I ended up getting 3 points on my license the week before I passed my test, in what I still think were pretty unfair circumstances. My house doesn't have a drive or a garage and so I had to park my car on the road in front of my house, or on a street round the corner when there were no spaces. As it was my first car I was really excited, and without understanding that I could get in trouble for it, I used to sometimes sit in my car and listen to music with my friends. The week before I passed my test we were sat chatting when a police car came down the road and pulled up behind us. Someone had broken into some allotments nearby and they were questioning us as to if we had seen anything. They searched my car- for tools that could suggest we had done it I presume, and when they found nothing they ran my license and obviously realised I only had a provisional license. I still at this point didn't realise I had done anything wrong, I wasn't driving the car, simply sat in it so I didn't realise I had committed an offence. The police informed me that because the engine was running, I could have been driving or about to drive and on that basis they convicted me for driving without a license. I only got 3 points and a 60 fine due to the fact I wasn't actually driving and at the time I accepted that with relief, I was terrified I'd get a ban or lose my license or get a massively unaffordable fine. I could have appealed but that would have meant going to court and I was only 17 and that terrified me. I declared the points to my insurance company straght away, but due to the nature of the offence my insurance was invalidated and void. I've only just now realised how serious having insurance voided in the past is. I'm supposed to be moving a 5 hours away in a few months for a job, and I have plenty of money saved for car insurance and a car, as without a car, the move is completely unrealistic. Without a car I won't be able to get to work as the hours are unsocial and my job isn't very well connected with public transport at all and so relying on public transport or taxis is simply not an option. I found a car, went to get an insurance quote, and found out that getting insurance is practically impossible when you've had insurance voided in the past. The points don't seem to be a problem, when I tell companies about my points but not about my insurance voided in the past they happily give me a quote. They're expensive, but affordable and it's what I was expecting. However, as soon as I tell them that my insurance was voided in the past they refuse to even give me a quote. I'm completely out of options and I don't know what to do. I need a car, but I can't get insurance as much as I try. I know I was in the wrong, but it seems like the voided insurance is more of a punishment than the points are and surely that isn't right? And the voided insurance will stay with me for the rest of my life, so does that mean that driving will never be an option for me? I'm sorry for the essay, I just really don't know what to do! If anyone's been in a similar situation with voided insurance or know of a company that would insure me then please let me know! Just anything that would help, let me know! Thank you so much in advance and sorry again for the babbling!""

Whats The Cheapest Car To Get Insurance For?

Whats The Cheapest Car To Get Insurance For?

Wanna get the cheapest auto insurance?

Wanna get the cheapest auto insurance?

I am an 18 year old girl who has a mitsubishi eclipse gs no driving record what will my insurance cost?

i am a straight A student took drivers ed in high school

I'm 16 and Looking at a 2003 Mach 1 Mustang how much would Insurance be?

I have a job and plan on paying for it myself, I just want an idea of the cost.""

How much does it cost to insure a provisional driver?

On top of somebody elses insurance?

What's the best CAR Insurance?

i'm trying to save myself some money. if you know just tell me which car insurance is the best and cheapest.

How much does health insurance cost?

I'm a 27 year old male in perfect health and I was wondering how much I can expect to pay for health insurance for an independent plan. I'm planning to start my own business and considering how much health insurance is a major consideration. Even a ballpark number would help for my calculations. Thanks!

Am having two different auto insurances on two different cars but are both in my name.Is it legal?

I have 2 cars, I just bought one cash. So I already have full coverage on one car and its paid for 6 months, and I want to add insurance on the other but with a different insurance company because it is cheaper and I will be getting only liability. Is it legal to be carrying different insurances or are they required to be both with the same company? I live in Texas! Thanks in advance!""

What is a toll free phone number to get auto insurance quotes from Farmer's Insurance?

I just want to get a quote for car insurance via a toll free phone number. Competitive quotes would be nice from a National Independent Agent that also offers Farmer's Insurance.

Le Grand California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95333

Le Grand California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95333

How much would car insurance cost for a new driver? liability.?

im bout to be able to get my car so i need to kno how much car insurance will cost for me. new driver. and liability coverage.

Affordable insurance plans??

Hello! I am a 21 year old mother of 2 ( a 13 mo. old and a 26. mo. old) My husband and I do not qualify for medicaid (apparently you have to be dang near homeless) and we need health insurance. He has a heart condition (hes 25! ) and I tend to get sick alot! lol anyone have any ideas for affordable health insurance?? ( under $100 /mo if possible) thanks for your time, Be Blessed!""

What will it cost to go to planned parenthood with no insurance?

Do they even except people without insurance? I was layed off my job and have no insurance.

Has anyone sign up for the Affordable Health insurance?

There are all these news about too much traffic to the site, but has anyone actually signed up for health insurance through healthcare.gov?""

Is there an affordable health insurance plan in California?

I am struggling to find an affordable health insurance plan for my family. I've asked this question before and got a great answer, then lost the link! Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated :)""

How does a Deductible on car insurance work?

Is it a good idea to have one on my car insurance ? And if i have one will my payments go up each month?

Affordable insurance w/ NO deductible and low premium?

I need you to tell me names of insurance not quote sites cuz they don't help. i need one for 2 ppl a mom and daughter. it shouldnt have a deductable or be more that 200 monthly.

Companies and their insurance for employees?

A company I work for has insurance. I have very expensive medicine and the insurance would pay most of it. my question is IF I GET THE INSURANCE WILL THE EMPLOYEES OF THE COMPANY I WORK FOR AND MY BOSSES KNOW WHAT I USE THE INSURANCE FOR? WILL THEY KNOW WHAT MEDICINES I TAKE THAT THE INSURANCE PAY FOR?

How much is the average annual amount for a sport(crotch rocket) motorcycle insurance?

How much is the average annual amount for a sport(crotch rocket) motorcycle insurance?

What motorcycle insurance should I get?

I recently got KLR650 and was wondering what kind of insurance should I get? What is the most common coverage? Also what insurance company are you using and are you happy with them when it comes to price and service? Thanks for all the answers

How much is Taxi Insurance in South Jersey?

I heard Taxi Insurance is Cheaper in South Jersey vs North Jersey. What town are you in? Thanks.

2 insurances? 2 deductibles?

If I have 2 insurances one has a 500 deductible and a 80/20 coverage and my x has an insurance that has a 750 deductible, does this mean we both have to pay each of our deductibles for our child? She is getting a MRI, what happens, will my insurance make us pay the first 500, then the 20 percent.. Then does the remainder go to her secondary insurance, then the first 750 comes off top of the balance again?""

Auto insurance quotes?

What website you recommend to get instant multiple quotes for multiple cars, without agent or a representative involvement?""

Does anyone knows if AIG agency auto is the same as granite state insurance company in California?

Does anyone knows if AIG agency auto is the same as granite state insurance company in California?

""Camaro insurance, gas and racing information?""

Does anyone know how much insurance will be for a soon to be 16 year old '89-'93 Camaro driver? I've heard that Camaros are gas guzzlers and my boyfriend lives a half hour away and that could get quite costly. So, this may be a retarded question, but is there anyway I could get better gas mileage? Any other helpful information on Camaros would be great. Also, I intend to start racing with my boyfriend, would a '89-'93 Camaro be a good racing car? What should I do to make an average Camaro into a good, fast car? Thanks in advance everyone! :]""

Which cars/trucks get the best auto insurance?

I know that insurance companies look at things like color, model, and things like that, please help!!!!""

Paying too much for car insurance?

I drive a '97 Ford Escort, nearly 45,000 miles. I'm 21. I have had one ticket (when I was 16 and I got a diversion on that ticket, so I didn't have to pay nor report it to my insurance). I pay $956 every 6 months for full-coverage. I'm with Farm Bureau. Anyone think this is reasonable or should I check out other quotes?""

Health Insurance - What's your stance?

Should everyone be required to have health insurance? If you want to keep it hypothetical, assume health care is inexpensive and available. If NO, who will pay for the care of the ...show more""

Can I afford motorcycle insurance?

So here is my situation: I currently own a 2003 Toyota Matrix that I make payments on. In between the payments and the insurance and gas, it costs about $350 a month to have that car. For the last couple years I've been really interested in getting a motorcycle, specifically a newer Kawasaki. According to my research, I could find a Kawasaki Ninja 250cc for somewhere around $3000. My question is basically how much insurance do I need? Right now I have comprehensive coverage for my car so that if I'm in a wreck and it's totaled I can replace it. If I had a bike AND my car though, I don't want replacement coverage for a secondary vehicle (even one as cool as a motorcycle). I got quotes from Geico and State Farm that put my minimum amount of insurance a month in the neighborhood of around $30. Does this sound accurate to anyone? Also, can anyone just give me some sound advice about owning both vehicles and whether it's worth it?""

Please can someone give me a normal price on car insurance for a new 2012 Ford Fiesta zetec S?

I'm 17 years old and a first time driver but cant fined a straight answer from car insurance websites.

How do I know what medication is covered under my insurance?

I have BlueCross BlueShield, and my card has an Identification Number, Group, and Plan Codes. But how do I know what medication is covered for me? Can I find this on the website?""

Auto theft and insurance question?

My 95 Honda accord was stolen last week and I did have full coverage etc..how do i negotiate a fair replacement cost of the car to the ins company when they offer me their price? I have Allstate and they have been grat in followup with me, but i dont know how they will base the value of the car..will it be kelly book or the NADA? thank you!!""

If 2 cars fall into the same insurance group will they cost more or less the same?

regardless of how much fuel they use? I ask because I have been looking at both the Vauxall Corsa and Astra, and both models fall into insurance group 4 but the Astra is a 1.4L and the Corsa a 1.3L (They are diesel versions).""

Will my insurance go up?

I got two speeding tickets not to long ago, they where 145 dollars each. On both of the tickets i was going 75 mph and speed limit was 60 mph. I already paid for the both tickets, they got reduced by 45 dollars each ticket. I was wondering by how much will my insurance go up and when does it go up. Its my dad insurance and he has my car on his insurance. Will the insurance go up only on my car or both of the cars on same insurance and is there any way you can take those tickets of the record. Like traffic schools..""

""Can you recommend a good,cheap insurance for a 17 year old??

I don't want to be on my mom's because mine will be higher than normal because hers is already really high.I'd rather just have my own insurance.Thanks in advance!!

Le Grand California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95333

Le Grand California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 95333

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