#i dont want to exist anymore. i dont even want to kill myself. i just dont want to be anymore.

[grey-has-rusted]

what they don't tell you about life is that it's hard. woe is me

[diamondnokouzai]

hey. i might be depressed.

[rapidhighway]

i have to go get a pen

[lovecrazedpup]

i dont want to sleep

[taxidermied-rage]

today went from “im trans! :)” to “im trans :(“

real quick

[piplupod]

idk i think maybe this is getting into last straw territory

[butchvamp]

tfw it's the end of the week yet again and nothing changes and it only gets worse and the days keep passing me by

[undead-dreams-of-overmorrow]

.

[ezlo-x]

Post totk Zelda talking to Link abt her creazy adventures 200k years in the past and she goes “No Link cause low-key. I kinda hate how Rauru just gave me no other choice but to become a dragon yknow? Like he really thought he was the main character out of all this like my brother in Hylia (if she even exists anymore) this dude named Ganondorf seems pretty devious if I say so myself. But maybe it’s just me-maybe but if someone came from the far future and told me not to trust a person who seems to have bad intentions and also that person from the said future has gone through a calamity where they both got almost the same name (allegedly). uhmmm!!! I would trust the person from the future i dont know!!!! Idk like he kept pushing me to side and then my new mom got killed by Ganondorf. And then Ganondorf blames Rauru for it and ngl like I don’t want to sound like a Ganondorf apologist(tm) but he was kinda right, but if he would JUST LISTEN TO ME. ALSO ALSO I mentioned your name once ONCE oh btw before my mom Sonia died btw I mention your name ONCE LINK. And this dude was like “he’s our only hope” LIKE BRO HE IS ONE MILLION YEARS INTO THE FUTURE HOW ARE WE GOING GET HIM. And he wouldn’t shut up abt you, REMEMBER WHEN WE MET GANONDORF FOR THE FIRST TIME AND HE WAS ALL UGLY AND CRUSTY AND CALLED US BY OUR FULL GOVERNMENT NAME???? YEAH IT WAS CAUSE OF RAURU. I GET ME. Cause I actually travelled to the past unlike you dweeb (teasing). And then I was there when we fought the Demon King (ganondorf if you forgor Link) and Rauru seals him with like his magic arm that he gave you AND THEN HE CALLS YOUR FULL GOVERNMENT NAME RIGHT THEN AND THERE I WAS JUST LIKE 🧍‍♀️HELLO??? SO NOW I AM ALONE I GUESS AND THEN YOU BRING THE MASTER AND-“ and then Link abruptly goes “Who the FUCK is Sonia??”

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

I fee like you are forgetting that being trans isnt a choice. If i had the chance to not be trans and just be comfortable with my gender, i would. I really would. I would do it so my life wouldnt be in danger just by existing. I would do it so my identity doesnt become a political debate. I would do it so i could feel loved and appreciated. I would do it so i dont have to go through the hate for my body and wishing it was just a bit more androgynous and a bit more comforting. I would do it so i wouldnt be attacked. I would do it so i wouldnt need to be questioned every time i tell someone.

I am a child. My identity is not a point of political conversation. My identity is not be stereotyped, judged, sexualized, and assumed on. My identity is me being me and me enjoying myself.

But the only reason i would not want to be trans is because of my safety. I would love myself if people loved me too. I would love myself if it wasnt for politics and debate.

I just want to be me. I dont want to suffer. Im sorry if this is a rant, i just dont think i can enable any of this anymore

"I am a child"

I'm sorry then you are not trans. Fact is most people fall into one of a few categories in general.

Identifies as trans due to social pressure and trends

Identifies as trans due to trauma involving violence or sexual abuse

Identifies as trans because you have temporary dysphoria due to puberty

Identify as trans because of social pressures causing mental distress and self loathing of the body

Or in the last case you've been to a psychologist and they've gone through to make sure that none of those are it. At which point congrats your trans. As to "I wish I could change it because it's safer", that's just false. Statistically trans people are not more likely to be assaulted. However, because there being fewer trans people in the world the numbers will be cockeyed regardless. What's more, most trans people are not attacked because they are trans. They are just attacked, same as they would be otherwise. However society needs to believe everything is an attack on them so if a trans person gets harmed, it's considered "because they were trans". When often that's not even the truth.

Oh. And if you've been to a psychologist and they've affirmed you, you can not be certain you are trans. Because the process to be certain, is by eliminating all the other possibilities, assuring that the dysphoria is actually permanen. Then going through until you're 18-20, and helping you decide at that point if chemicals or surgery is the right way to go.

So no. I'm not forgetting anything. I'm just far n more knowledgeable on this topic because it almost killed my friend.

[snaxle]

just saw someone say the reason bi lesbians are problematic is because they're inclusive of radfems, and that bi lesbians spew terf rhetoric. i dont know what kinda secret alternate universe you're living in where terfs are supportive of mspec identities but im begging you to turn on your brain cells for longer than 5 seconds at a time and then go outside instead of wallowing in queer twitter discourse made by 15 year olds 10 hours every day you fucking idiots.

terfs dont fucking like bi lesbians. terfs would rather watch us either kill ourselves than ever support our identities.

"i hate mspec lesbians because they tell people who hate men that they're sharing terf beliefs, which is exactly what terfs want!!" have you literally never seen a terf's account before in your life? they fucking hate men and want everyone in the world to know that every single man in the world no matter how old they are that they're gross ugly creatures who all hate women and want nothing more than to prey on the downfall of all women. yea, even those 6 and 12 year old boys that live next door to you. so yea, while you're posting your quirky little "i hate all men they're disgusting 🙄" posts every three days for your 400 twitter followers, you're 100% spewing terf rhetoric!! no that doesnt mean you're a fucking terf but you're sharing into their beliefs and spreading their agenda every time you do this shit which is what they want!!!!

"the term lesbian is already inclusive of trans and nonbinary people, so using the term bi/mspec lesbian is problematic because you dont think trans people can be lesbians!" look me in the eyes. do you genuinely, honest to god think that terfs care about that. do you genuinely think terfs are okay with trans people calling themselves a lesbian. terfs dont fucking care, they still want you to either detransition and realize how "evil" being trans is and follow in their beliefs, or they want you dead. a nonbinary trans man who uses he/him pronouns calling himself a bi lesbian is literally the least of your fucking worries.

i am trans and bigender. even if i just called myself solely a lesbian without the extra labels, terfs still wont fucking accept me because i am not a pure innocent 100% woman. they will not accept me even when i tell them i feel more like a woman most days than i do a man because i am not their definition of what a woman should be. "it doesnt matter what terfs say, lesbian is still inclusive of trans people!" no, it's only inclusive of trans people that you deem are good and women enough to use the label.

people love going around talking about how they're so so supportive of any and all identities and then immediately turn around and be like "hmmm but not Yours." i could be the most perfect woman in the world, but the second i so much as mention i think a man looks attractive, then i am not being a lesbian the Right way.

so who the fuck cares anymore. who cares if i use the term bisexual lesbian to identify myself? im already doing it all wrong supposedly, so who cares if im more of a problem than i already am? the queer people im supposed to share a community with would rather side on the side of terfs because im not being a lesbian in the supposedly Correct way, and no matter what i say to try defending myself I'll never be seen as a true and proper lesbian because random strangers on the internet i will never meet ever in my life has already dictated that I'm not good enough. that my existence is problematic and harmful to everyone else, completely ignorant of the fact that they're unwillingly sharing in the beliefs of transphobes, homophobes and conservatives who would like nothing more than to wipe us all out instead of standing together as a community.

but you know, putting bi lesbians on your dni or whatever is more important.

[aphidclan-clangen]

haiii!! heres a lil fic about pearlstar having self doubt and anxiety!! :3

I don’t always stay calm. That much is obvious. But I just wish... that for once, I could. I want to be calm. Breathe, breathe, breathe. And stay out of my head. I’m always in my head. I’m so absorbed in my own problems, while the land withers around me. 

The rot that consumes this wretched place will not make its way into my heart. Not just yet... Because, because i’m fine. There isn’t... anything wrong... No, no.

This is perfectly fine! I may not always be able to breathe well, and sleep is always tough, and prey is scarce... but! Its. Its fine. 

I can’t complain, others have it so much worse. Think of Lilacpaw! Flower didn’t even get to live her life! And here I am, sitting in self pity. Its shameful, really. I have no right to complain of my own problems. Because I really am fine! You need to stop worrying about me.

Stop looking at me. Dont perceive me. Do I really exist to you? This tidal wave envelopes me. A rush of blood, to my throat, to fall out of consciousness is all I request. Please, please, take me away. Take me to the skies, let me see the stars for once. I would be gone if I weren’t so... cowardly. That’s.... just what I am, huh?

Trees are falling, i’m falling. Falling, falling, fell. It would so much easier for me to lay back down, and let the earth grow back over me. But I just can’t. I cant do it to myself. I would love to fall back into deep sleep. But. I can’t do it over again. I can’t bear it. My life is loss. I am loss. Lost, lost, lost.

In my place of living, in my home, I shouldn’t feel so... trapped. I wish to be free of burdens. Free of the weights. I don’t want to do it anymore. Let me be free. I just wanna hear you say, “its alright”. Just tell me... its gonna be alright. These life don’t comfort me. For I only harbor doubt and regret.

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. Take me away to a no man’s land, where I can stay away from those who haunt me so. Let me run, and run, and run away. I need to go. I need to leave. Where am I. Where have I been.

ouuugh my heart. my heart. oughhhh Pearlstar wishing and hoping to be with his wife. “take me to the skies. let me see the stars for once.” “the rot that consumes this wretched place will not make its way into my heart” like what it did to his children,,, Pearlstar feeling guilty over the death of his apprentice,,, ooughhhhh you’ve killed me

[piplupod]

the brain better figure out a way to fix this shit real quick or idk what is going to happen honestly. i feel very sick

[cosmicdream222]

sorry to be morbid again but do you think we can manifest passing away early? im honestly past the point of wanting to exist and just want to get over this thing that im supposed to be a successful person but im not so idrc if i do or dont live

so many ppl on tarot related blogs ask about their fs but if we dont meet them does it matter and would they just move on with their life? like i think u have to have ur life put together but its genuinely so hard to do these days so i hope my fs wont be sad at all when i die cause i wouldnt be able to make tnem truly happy anyway cause im not happy myself with how things have been

ideally i wouldve done something in a sport or music but that ship sailed long ago and now im so stuck but id hate to be reliant on someone else and i shouldve moved out into my own place but housing is ridiculously expensive where im from and taxes dont help anyone. it takes years and years to pick up a talent so i have wasted those years and ik im just going to struggle to get past 50 if i were to have my own place bc minimum wage jobs suck arse and i dont want to be doinng something lame not that its lame for others to do it, its just not what i wanted to have done at all

you cant even get a degree without needing to fork out hundreds and thousands so yeah none of its easy and sure you can try subliminals but lets face it the systemn we are in is fucked up big time so rn i cant even bother with daydream about how it could have been or the what ifs i had done smth differently or if i had any talent but then theres still the, im too old and too foreign to do any sort of music as most successful groups nowadays are korean and even if i tried to do what they did it would probs end up killing me some way or other

its just either about having to be wealthy or having some type of talent both of which id fail at anyway as i shouldve done it years ago like a normal person who goes from being so so at something to being great at something.

i truly think i was born in wrong generation or i just shouldnt have been born at all then i wouldnt have to fret constantly abt these types of things. i think if the government genuinely sorted shit out for once and helped society ppl would be happier to work for less but im not happy at all with the current state of things. i feel guilty for existing and i hate it sm like god just let me end my life pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee there is nothing worthwhile in store, ik we could try shifting subliminals but have those genuinely worked? like u exit this reality and straight into the one you wanted originally? but then i might as well just pass away cause id have to know what i want in another reality

My dude, take a deep breath. You’ve ranted about all this same exact stuff a bunch of times now and I’m just gonna repeat the same thing I said to you last time:

All of that stuff you mentioned about your current reality is an illusion. Time is an illusion. It does not matter what you’ve done in the past. The economy does not matter. Your present circumstances do not matter.

I’ll add to that: Whatever some tarot reader or TikTok psychic says definitely does not matter. Idk what fs means but I’m guessing something like a twin flame and that is especially 1000% bullshit.

The spiritual community has created an incredible amount of false narratives to make excuses and blame outside forces for why things aren’t going their way. None of it is real. Seriously forget everything you learned about fate, karma, astrology, or anything else that’s saying something else is in control. Reality is an illusion. YOU are in control.

You don’t have to identify with any old bullshit anymore. Stop repeating the old story and think about what you do want. You can have literally ANYTHING! You say you don’t know what you want, ok, but you know what you don’t want, right?

I don’t want to work -> I want to live in a reality where I don’t have to work.

There, you just figured out something you want! It’s that simple.

I totally agree that this society is a horrific shitshow and I don’t want to be aware of it anymore either. But it’s just one version of reality available. It’s not the only reality and it’s not the original reality. You don’t have to be aware of it anymore if you don’t want to be.

You also don’t have to involve death at all. There’s a lot of misconception in the shifting world which has lead to concepts like “permashifting” and “respawning”, but those just all assume this current reality is the original one. It’s not.

Have you watched The Matrix? It’s really more like a documentary than science fiction lol. Just like in the movie, we are being tricked by a simulated virtual reality, controlled by a society that’s using us for our energy. Just think of reality as an escape room. We’re escaping the Matrix. Once you figure out how to leave, you don’t ever have to go back. There are infinite realities available to you, and none are more real or right or original than any others. Remember, death is not an ultimate, nor does it exist in all realities.

I am scripting a utopian reality with my best friend where there is no death, aging, or illness. Everyone is a master manifestor so they always get whatever they want. Nobody has to work and there isn’t even a need for money because we can manifest anything instantly. We can just relax and get massages all day. Everyone lives in peace and harmony and abundance. Animals are treated as equals to humans, we can all communicate with each other, and we can all fly and teleport. Because why the f not? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

And if you really don’t want to exist (I’m guessing that other ask from a couple weeks ago is you too lol) you don’t have to exist in this reality, or any other. Removing your awareness from all physical reality is known as entering the void. You exist there as pure consciousness, and you can stay there as long as you like. It is you as your highest self. There’s nothing negative about it.

As for the whole subliminal thing, shifting subliminals are just one method. Shifting = manifesting = deciding what you want and experiencing it. It’s something we are always doing and is available to all of us. You don’t need any methods to shift besides intention. We just use methods to convince/calm the annoying human brain that is programmed with society’s limits.