#i dunno it's just kinda silly and convoluted

[stillness138]

for hc ask game: triss is actually coral, ngl my fav "mainstream" theory

so uh

i don't like it 🙈

there are, i feel, two types of people into this theory: us the shitposters, and redditors who can't discern between books and games and end up taking it completely seriously.

so the idea of it is that Triss did die at Sodden and Coral used the chaotic situation to assume her identity, right?

my biggest issue with it is... Coral has no reason for doing that. She was well-known and well-respected in life as herself, she had everything she wanted, including Geralt. consensually, even.

my other big issue with it is that book Triss exists for a reason. The jealous best friend who is just spineless enough to throw the people she supposedly cares for the most under the bus when faced with a decision that would require her to take a real stand. seemingly sweet and caring, but spoiled inside. Sapko was trying to say something with her and gave her an arc that would've been undermined if it was actually someone else.

my last major issue with it, stemming from the previous, is that it diminishes the impact of what Triss did to Geralt. Coral wouldn't reminisce about him from the time during Season of Storms the same way Triss thinks about him in Blood of Elves because Triss is recounting a rape. And it was her, no one else, because again, she's the jealous best friend. Like, i'd rather Geralt didn't go through that at all, but given Triss also repeatedly tries to kiss him and whatnot after coming to Kaer Morhen... it's her, not Coral.

(in SoS, Geralt says smth like "you caught me on your flowery-peachy-magical perfume pheromones" [yeah he says pheromones, i don't know either man] and Coral goes "aint no way, actually you caught me on your elaborate mating dance when we first met" which like, you could read as she legit used magic and gaslit him afterwards but the whole, for the lack of a better word vibe, or i guess context of it comes across way different than the very much one-sided account from Triss. Geralt reads as very aware and very active in SoS. they are somewhat similar backgrounds, but i truly don't think what Sapko wrote post-saga in SoS is supposed to be the same event he described in BoE.)

however, i understand where the theory came from, because it seems to me like a similar place to the origin of W3 Dijkstra being a doppler. it serves as a bit of a cope for game Triss having like 3 different personalities early on.

that's the other side of the theory, right? that (only) game Triss is Coral?

which i definitely get, but again, there's no reason for Coral to do that. why would she be interested in all the manipulation and politics? game Triss eventually crystallizes into more or less her book personality - sweet looking, but rotten - despite CDPR's unwillingness to acknowledge her crimes in the text of the games. they still keep referencing everything else from the books, game and book Triss aren't two different characters.

as someone who takes design decisions way too literally, i truly think there's not much to it beyond Triss in W1 being written by mashing together book quotes by a bunch of different characters. it is wild and kinda funny but yeah. i'm not a fan :D

[alangdorf]

Actually more rambling now. Currently thinking thoughts abt Tsuru and also Yabu (and Tsubakura by extension, obviously, who do you think I am,)

Always extremely funny that Tsubakura isn’t in most of Evanescent Existence just because they ignored the psychic intercom message and got really interested in the weird cave instead. What exactly was Tsurubami’s plan for if they hadn’t done that?? They run into each other and Tsubakura’s like “yeah I guess this might as well happen to me today”

Anyway the whole plot of Evanescent Existence is bizarre but it feels in character with how inscrutable Tsurubami is. Impossible to tell whether he has a convoluted plan or if she’s just having fun and it doesn’t matter cause he’s so all-powerful she’ll just get whatever she wants in the end regardless. Awesome!

Gotta mention one of my favorite fan works and definitely my favorite writing of Tsurubami is Misremembered Memories (fangame by Mugenri) (the person); I once summed up Yabusame’s scenario as “hey girl I didn’t call to talk to you put your dog on the phone” and made myself laugh extremely hard. And the bit where Tsurubami is like “it’s a trade secret!” And Tsubakura’s like “We have the same job? I’m filling in for you at your job?” And Tsubrubami’s like “Oh, I guess you’re right!” *blatantly continues to not tell them what they were drugged with* is LEGENDARY. But aside from the incredible banter I also love how Tsurubami asks Yabu & Tsuba for favors only after they’re already in a position where they can’t reasonably refuse. Feels right (kicking the “frankly I think it’s hot when characters are manipulative” tag from my ‘shall we dance’ pic under the fridge)

Oh yeah speaking of the song I happen to have a very strong link between liking music -> liking the associated character (slightly less so for Len’en than with Tohuhou cause I’m more interested in the story on its own merits for Len’en but it still seems to largely be the case) and I’m still very obsessed with the song. Thoughts on how it connects to the character 1) leading (like in dancing) 2) disorienting 3) silly goofy mischievous. Though I’ll admit I’m even more obsessed with broken eternal dance engine these days and that’s a twofer cause it’s actually Arde but would still presumably apply to a case where Tsurubami was outright trying to kill you! Either way 1) DANGER 2) even more disorienting 3) if you have the sound turned up just enough on that last big beat drop. Insane. The key change. The flip from just piano to full strings and heavy bass and crazy percussion. Kills me every time

(Tangent my friends who only know Len’en because of me talking about it are used to me very ardently insisting that Arde is just, like, pretty normal actually and today I was like “oh yeah I forgot this is her theme btw” *MO-NA-D-1 Memory Pursuit (basically a horror movie soundtrack)* lol)

Also I was thinking about the possibility that Tsurubami was the one who activated Rei (bc of how Rei talks abt him) and that’s got me spiraling. What all is she doing out there? If he was outright pretending to be Tsubakura again wouldn’t Hoojiro (& Haru) know about it? How’d he get access otherwise?

Extreme mental gymnastics offshoot from there: is Tsubakura a nepo baby??? Is it EN like 燕??? I dunno man. Trying to reverse engineer their backstory is such an ordeal; I keep muddling through their confusing relationship dynamics with Arde (it’s more straightforward with Hamal. Weird and bad, but straightforward!) and I’ll just be constantly going like girl (gender neutral) what is wrong with you…. Why are you like this……..

Anyway. My one big thing to share about Yabu is that I used to make the joke that Len’en as a whole feels like “Tsubakura’s terrible horrible no good very bad day, and also Yabusame is there” and then one day I had the epiphany to flip “it’s kinda funny Yabu just doesn’t really have a personal reason to be involved in all this” into “but she is anyway! They didn’t have to be there but she’s there for Tsubakura!” and got extremely soft about it.

Also uhhh I guess it depends on how much everyone knows about how Suzumi and their abilities work (always difficult to sus out) but in theory if Tsubakura knows about Yabusame’s immunity then them living with her would lessen paranoia that Suzumi could show up and then make them forget about it afterwards (though maybe undeservedly considering how BPoHC went lol)? Works as a deterrent either way. Okay so I think what we’ve learned here is I’m definitely not done with trying to make sense of a detailed headcanon version of precanon lol

[not-souleaterpost]

Lord Dunsany and the broken telephone of "fantasy"

So for my weekly post that nobody will care for, I'll again squeeze out some shit related to a topic I researched for the iceberg, but that doesnt really have anything to do with Soul Eater:

Lord Dunsany is often quted in some "deeplore" "well akshually" stuff to be the father of "modern fantasy", but did all the people who read him miss the point?

So I'll start by saying I wasnt ever into fantasy, it allways seemed kinda corny, only stuff I cared was LoTR cause I kinda grew up and around people were obssesed with it and DQ, cause of the DBZ bleed over and because I just like the slimes lol.

That may makes me disqualified about commenting, but eh, I dunno, I think my point will still stand, cause I will bring it back to Tolkien now:

Some people say he was inspired by Dunsanys "word building" to make his own overly convoluted mythology, but here lies my objection:

The two books I read of Dunsany about "the gods of Pegana" seem not really care about the "lore"

They seem to be written in the style as if they were some holy book, yet the names seem deliberately random and often the storys are either contradictory or mix up the details to make a point and to reflect that feeling of myths that arent organized by some obsessive nerd wiki for logical consistency.

Because in the end the books arent about "fantasy" (atleast the ones I have read), but as kinda didactic laments about the authors perceived nihilism and meaninglessnes/cruelty of the world.

Ok that may be reductive, cause there are many vivid and even beautiful or fascinating things described, but in the end you feel that tone of "Oh that is like fanfiction from the Bible book about how everythings is just meaningles vapor" tone.

Like in "the gods and time" there is a great short story about a prophet who sees the "true gods" and abondons the old ones for them with his followers, only to repeatedly then see even greater gods, only to lose more and more of his acolytes with each subsequent trip and in the end arive back at the old gods he rejected at the star - basically a commentary at the foly for the strive of knowledge or about how things are more simple at the end of it all than one trys to think.

But the important thing is that the "gods" of this short story dont really matter more than for the point they make in it - I would be surprised that for example the "mocking gods" have some specific lore, events and super powers etc like shit in Tolkiens stuff has, or in modern generic fantasy, where everyone is some world or warcraft charachter shooting magical auras.

Still, maybe Im ignorant, and in all the other storys there actually is that feeling of a shared mythology and "wordbuilding" besides the tone of "life's a bitch and then you die"

Anyways, what was the point of this all? I guess to say that it is kinda sad that an innovatitive form of literature gets reduced into the current state of "top ten word building tips!" videos on youtube.

Ok maybe thats to harsh, even I know how fun it is to come up with a setting and its own intrincitys, but still, I think one shouldnt limit oneself to that - its like watching DBZ for the power levels - when the point is that they dont matter.

But in the end, maybe this post just shows my own ignorance - maybe most fantasy does that already. Yet when I allways hear everybody praise some Brandon Sanderson guy, who seems to only care about "magic systems being consistent" and literally color codes his creatures to match emotions or some shit idk😂

And also, I wonder if Tolkien had actually finished more books if he hadnt noodled around with his silly lore matching, especially when it in the end still is contradictory😂🤷‍♂️

Anyways, sorry this kinda sounds more spitful than I wanted, guess its cause I saw some video where they talked about these books as if they were all about just creating some wacky fantasy world, which seemed strange to me after having read even just a small part of his whole work.

So: Yeah...Sorry

[totiredtowrite]

Hi it's me again 😀

Idk, can I request a soulmate au- the ✨red string of fate✨ connects us to ✨Shirabu✨. The reader kinda likes to mess with him- (to make him blush y'know), and Tendou might join in too just because– 🤷‍♂️ we like seeing a flustered Shirabu

Pls Shirabu doesn't get enough attention. I love him sm 🥺😔 Also, I noticed you had a lot of Ushijima reqs- holy frickin Asahi-

Have a good day/night 💚

– 🥑

Red Strings

Warnings - Cursing, a lil angst, I hardly ever proofread

Note: Yes avocado anon 😩😩. Wanna know something fun? Most of those Ushijima fics weren't requested, I'm just a filthy simp ✋😗. Also idfk how to write the red string soulmate au so here's some improvising on my part :)

Male Reader

"Kenjirou baby!"

Shirabu froze up, the volleyball he was getting ready to spike landing on his head and bouncing to the ground. He never understood why you pestered him with the pet names, but it's not like he could talk you out of it. He glowers at you, his face slowly turning bright red.

"Oh don't look so angry," You laughed and slung an arm around his shoulder.

"Why do you insist on being so annoying," Shirabu mutters and pulls away from your arm to pick up the volleyball he dropped.

"What can I say doll, the red strings got me all mixed up!" You winked at him.

"Don't be stupid," Shirabu rolls his eyes.

You laugh, though as soon as his back was turned you frowned. Maybe he couldn't see them, but you sure could. Naturally you joked about it all the time, but sometimes it got distracting how taunt the line was pulled when you were near him.

Tendou knew, Tendou knew everything. Naturally he was the one who suggested you brought up light hearted banter, because after all the more you joke about something the more likely it is to come true. Really though, you just think it makes him annoyed.

Of course you've had the thought that maybe you should just have a serious talk about how seriously you feel for him, but that would be stupid. Not using some convoluted flirting to express your emotion? What a laugh.

You huffed and made your way over to Tendou, who was messily taping his fingers. "`Sato! We have a problem," you declared, falling into place next to him on the bench. He looked up from where he was struggling to rip a piece of tape off.

"Shoot," he smiles.

"I don't think this is working," you sighed.

"Don't be silly!" Tendou pointed his index fingers at you, the tape roll still hanging off of his fingers.

You rolled your eyes with a little smile. True, you could see the string, but that doesn't mean Shirabu won't be able to. Once the feelings are mutual, (or he comes to terms with his), he'll be able to see it. Really only a small percentage of people even have one, only a small percentage are bound by fate.

"Just keep at it, I'm sure he'll realize it eventually," Tendou finally rips the tape with a triumphant grin.

As much of a matchmaker that Tendou is, his advice isn't very helpful for Shirabu.

In fact, Kenjirou thought that you were just taunting him.

He thinks that you aren't serious at all, which of course causes him to doubt his own feelings and try to push you away.

He hates how carefree you are with it all. Just casually calling him 'babe' or tossing in a random 'good boy!' when he sets well. It's infuriating to him.

Eventually though, he's going to have to see that string.

🂠🃑🃁🂱🂡

"Hey Ken," You dragged out both words.

"What do you want now," Shirabu sighs, buttoning the last few buttons on his shirt and hastily pulled on his blazer. The last of the team had left the locker rooms.

"Woah there buddy, calm down yeah?" You laughed, picking up his tie and looping it around his neck. "I just wanted to talk," You continued to do up his tie, accidentally tugging him a bit closer.

"Ab..about what," he manages a snarl.

You shrug. "I dunno Doll, got anything on your mind?"

He pulled your hand off of his tie and stumbled back. "Yeah, actually!"

You tilted your head when he spoke again. "What is wrong with you? Why do you keep doing this?"

Confusion started to set into your face. "Sorry?"

"You know! Always with the pet names and the affection, why do you keep teasing?" He had his eyes closed, fury making his face red.

"T-teasing?" You step back.

"You don't mean any of that shit! Would you just cut it out?" Shirabu opened his eyes to direct a venomous glare your way.

"But I do-," you hesitate. "How else am I supposed to-I do like you!"

He looks taken aback for a moment. "What?"

"I like so so much! I might even love you but I'm not exactly sure of that!" You moved a little closer to him.

He stood in shocked silence for a few moments.

"What's- that," He looked down at the sudden tug he felt on his finger.

A red twine was looped around his finger. "Wow," he says softly.

"See what I mean!" You turned your eyes to his shocked face. "I wasn't bullshitting you!"

Kenjirou turned to look at you. The red string was progressively fading. Your expression was equivalent to that of a kicked animal.

"So," he awkwardly starts, "Does this mean we're, you know...together?"

You shrug. "Maybe."

Only time will tell, after all.

[millenianthemums]

how did rosa meet hilda? are they dating?

sorry for the delay in answering this! it’s actually kinda convoluted to answer, because in my old AU comic i was planning to make a long time ago, Hilda(/Touko) was basically Rosa(/Mei)’s mentor during her journey. there was this whole plot point where Touko had left to find N, heard about Team Plasma coming back while she was gone, tried to catch Kyurem to stop them, and lost two of her Pokemon in the fight. she basically hid away in shame after, and wandered around Unova in secret for a while before running into Mei and agreeing to travel with her. Mei didn’t find out that Touko was the previous champion who disappeared until much later, though, because Touko was being edgy and wouldn’t tell her her name. i dunno, it was silly.

anyway, i’m not sure if all of that is still true in my current AU of the games, but i know that the two of them still got to know each other and maybe travel together at some point. and i like the idea of them dating, i just think it sounds cute. two heroic champions with a lot of responsibilities and issues to grapple with who teach each other that they don’t always have to be everything to everyone.

[bazzybelle]

Fic Writer Interview

Thank you @amywaterwings @phoxphyre @carryonsimoncarryonbaz (and I’m gonna include you as well @aristocratic-otter , I am so glad that COTTA made you love writing again!!! The Blue and The Grey is SUCH A GOOD FIC! Everyone needs to read it!!

Name: Belle (Not comfy using my full name on here).

Fandoms: At the moment, fully committed to Carry On, but I am enjoying the heck out of Avatar: The Last Airbender ZUKKA fics. 

Where you post: At the moment, I only post on AO3... But I have a few old Criminal Minds stories on FanFic.net. 

Most popular one-shot: At first I wasn’t sure if it meant based on Kudos or Hits, but for BOTH, it’s I Just Want Your Extra Time.  The next popular fic is Speak my Language of Love. What I find kinda amazing is that BOTH of these fics were written as birthday gifts for two dear friends of mine ( @giishu and @carryonsimoncarryonbaz respectively). I also find it absolutely hilarious that my all time most popular story is an Explicit-rated fic, and it was the first time I ever wrote smut, so I was all “uhhhhh.... how...?” I did have a lot of fun writing both of those stories, and I’m glad that they were pretty popular. 

Most popular multi-chapter: In terms of both Kudos and Hits, it’s The Best Game You Can Name. This was the fic I wrote for the Remix event. Again, absolutely FLOORED that this fic got as much love as it did, because hoooooo boy, this was a doozy for me to complete. I think this is one of those fics that took so much out of me to write, but the fact that I stuck with it and got it done, makes me so happy and proud of myself. I took the challenge of remixing a fandom classic, @basic-banshee ‘s The Pitch series, and I am really proud of how it turned out. I am so happy that everyone who read it feels the same way. 

Fic you were nervous to post: Dude, I’m nervous to post EVERY story I write... and my friends will all tell you that. Recently, I was particularly nervous about posting With a Little Help From My (Sorta) Friend. This was a fic that I was nervous about writing, and was a real challenge for me to write, but I like challenging myself as a writer. In this fic, I wanted to come up with a scenario where two character who would not normally interact with each other, have an important heart-to-heart conversation. This was also my “I need to process Wayward Son” fic, as well as my “Baz Pitch needs friends” fic. There was a lot that I wanted to address in this fic, and it all had to be done in a way that would be believable for the two characters. This was also the first fic (in a long time) that I wrote FOR ME. It wasn’t a gift, it wasn’t part of an event... It was a fic that I wanted to write for myself. So... A LOT OF NERVES...

How do you choose your titles: I am SO bad at coming up with titles, it’s kinda pathetic. I typically use song title, because I’m basic af fuck... The occasional time I’ll come up with a clever pun or a silly quote, and I’ll use that, but like 90%, it’s a song quote (usually from the song that inspired the fic). 

Do you outline: ALL THE TIME! Yes... yes yes! The only time I didn’t outline was when I did COC last year, and even then, I wrote down an idea for each prompt (because I was crazy enough to think I’d do them all... I mean I did manage 13/30... so...) My fics are getting longer, and more convoluted, so I think having an outline is helpful in that it keeps my ideas and thoughts in order. Like I was writing No One To Save That Can’t Be Saved, and I think I gave Simon like 3 different ages. I had to stop and write out a time and age that made sense given the setting and history. 

Do you take prompts: I mean I won’t say “No” to a prompt, but it’ll take some time... Like I have a prompt from several months ago (and it’s a GOOD prompt) that I still have yet to tackle... But... I have an idea for it! 

Complete: Ummm 24 out of 27 fics are complete. 

In progress: 1) No One To Save That Can’t be Saved - This is my COTTA 1960′s murder mystery, and I LOVE IT SO DANG MUCH! I am still working on it, I’m just writing another thing that is more time sensitive.

2) A fic I’m writing as part of a server exchange... This... uh... got a little away from me... I HAD planned to make it a short and sweet fic, but then my brain was all, “I mean, that’s cool, but if you did THIS instead?” So it’s now like 15K words... I mean, I’m ALMOST DONE... But yeah...

3) I Need Another Perfect Lie - This was my DeNiall fic. It’s currently on an indefinite hiatus... My mental heath has taken a beating and a half over the last few months, and this fic wasn’t helping my mood. Maybe I’ll return to it, in the future...  

Um... I dunno who to tag... Lemme think... @fight-surrender @twokisses @theflyingpeach @ninemagicks @nightimedreamersworld @bazypitchandsimonsnow @scone-lover @vkelleyart @adamarks @palimpsessed @annabellelux @otherworldsivelivedin @xivz 

[nerianasims]

Billboards #1 1961

Under the cut.

Bert Kaempfert – “Wonderland By Night” -- January 9, 1961

It's an instrumental, but it's a sexy one. It makes me think of being alone at night in a big city hoping to find someone to go home with, if just for a night. It definitely sounds of its time, but it's still very good.

The Shirelles – “Will You Love Me Tomorrow” -- January 30, 1961

For all the innocent-sounding music and beat, this is a straightforward song about sex. In 1961. Also a great song.

Lawrence Welk – “Calcutta” -- February 13, 1961

Blargh. Lawrence Welk's music gives me a pain. To say this sounds like a German music hall song is an insult to German music halls. Whatever music hall this plays in, they have a strict no-alcohol policy and don't serve caffeinated drinks either because they're opposed to every kind of drug. You get skim milk or nothing. There is nothing Calcutta-ish about it.

Chubby Checker – “Pony Time” -- February 27, 1961

An attempt to recapture The Twist. But that was lightning in a bottle. This is some dead fireflies in a jar. Unlike the Twist, the dance is sort of complicated. More importantly, the song doesn't make me want to dance at all. Sadly, not good.

Elvis Presley – “Surrender” -- March 20, 1961

I don't feel like Elvis really connected with this song. I certainly don't. It sounds like it belongs in one of his movies. He ramps up the belting, there's a background chorus that sounds like it’s from a Disney movie of the time, and the mariachi band overwhelms it all. How do you overwhelm Elvis? He's trying to sing to someone to seduce them, and he's failing with me. An embarrassing song.

The Marcels – “Blue Moon” -- April 3, 1961

This version of Blue Moon deeply annoys me. It's like they'd be embarrassed to sing a heartfelt love song, so they sped it up and threw a bunch of silly noises in instead. Go for the one Obsidian was smart enough to put in Fallout: New Vegas instead, by Frank Sinatra. Or the Mel Tormé version. Or the Chris Isaak version. Not this one.

Del Shannon – “Runaway” -- April 24, 1961

It's about a breakup, not a runaway. He doesn't get why his girlfriend ran away from him. And it is pure melodramatic cheese, yet it works. Del Shannon commits. Also is that a slide whistle? I can't really say it's a good song, but I kinda like it anyway.

Ernie K-Doe – “Mother-In-Law” -- May 22, 1961

Hah hah aren't mothers-in-law awful. That's it, that's the song. It's a bad sitcom joke. And musically it sounds like a commercial jingle. Yuck.

Ricky Nelson – “Travelin’ Man” -- May 29, 1961

The "every woman in an area is exactly the same" subgenre is one I hate. Yes, this means I hate The Beach Boys' "California Girls." The Beatles were absolutely right to send up this kind of bilge with "Back in the USSR." So, I hate this song. The narrator travels around the world and has a girlfriend everywhere, including a "senorita" in Mexico, an "Eskimo" in Alaska, and a "China doll" in China. Really, really bad.

Roy Orbison – “Running Scared” -- June 5, 1961

I think I just don't get Roy Orbison. In this song, he's afraid his wife (probably) will go back to her ex. At the end, she tells her ex to go away and chooses the narrator. The beat is repetitive and insistent as all hell and gives me a headache. I dunno, other people seem to like it. The lyrics are fine. Orbison's singing is fine. I cannot deal with the beat.

Pat Boone – “Moody River” -- June 19, 1961

Listening to Pat Boone is like putting mayonnaise in your ears. And not good mayonnaise. The narrator's girlfriend drowned herself because she felt oh so guilty about cheating on him, and he sounds awful cheery about it. I have another theory as to how she died. But someone like Pat Boone couldn't get convicted if he tried, especially in 1961. Now, how does one get mayonnaise out of one's ears? Probably vinegar, that's the solution to everything.

Gary U.S. Bonds – “Quarter To Three” -- June 26, 1961

What an odd name. The song sounds like an impromptu recording of a band at a club. It does make me want to dance. Gary shouts the song, sounding like he's had a few Red Bulls. I kinda dig it. It slaps.

Bobby Lewis – “Tossin’ And Turnin'” -- July 10, 1961

The narrator couldn't sleep because he couldn't stop thinking about you. He's got an awful lot of energy, considering that. But I understand that kind of nervous energy. Great saxophone solo too. It's a fun dance song about romantic desperation.

Joe Dowell – “Wooden Heart (Muss I Denn)” -- August 28, 1961

The narrator says not to leave him because he doesn't have a wooden heart and he might die. The way Joe sings the song though, I think he is lying. He's made of wood and will never be a real boy.

The Highwaymen – “Michael” -- September 4, 1961

So this is a version of "Michael, Row the Boat Ashore." Sung by the most comfortable and privileged people imaginable, who may also be on valium. I'm sure the members of The Highwaymen had some kind of pain in their lives; everyone does. But you'd never know it from their rendition. They seem to have had all emotion surgically removed. Absolutely terrible. It belongs in a Twilight Zone episode. I had to listen to the Harry Belafonte version afterward to cleanse my brain.

Bobby Vee – “Take Good Care Of My Baby” -- September 18, 1961

The narrator lost his girlfriend because he cheated on her, and he regrets it. He's telling her new boyfriend to take care of her. It's fine. I think maybe it's too fast. Too much snare drum.

Ray Charles – “Hit The Road Jack” -- October 9, 1961

Ray, I love you. Also Margie Hendrix, the lead backup singer here. I hope Ray worked the same magic he did in 1960, and the rest of 1961 will be good.

Dion – “Runaround Sue” -- October 23, 1961

Not only does Sue cheat all over the place, but also "she'll love you and she'll put you down." I like the song. It's upbeat and yet the singer sounds appropriately bitter. It's obviously no "Hit the Road Jack", but it's good.

Jimmy Dean – “Big Bad John” -- November 6, 1961

Yep, Jimmy Dean the sausage guy. It's one of those baritone spoken story things. I do not like those at all. So I'm not the audience for this. As a simple folk tale about a guy everyone's afraid of because he's so big, but then saves a bunch of lives at the cost of his own, it's fine. I wish it were sung though.

The Marvelettes – “Please Mr. Postman” -- December 11, 1961

An early Motown girl group song. The narrator is waiting for a letter from her boyfriend, which isn't there and clearly hasn't been there in a long time. Not one of my favorites, as the background singers sound weirdly like beeps to me. But still good.

The Tokens – “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” -- December 18, 1961

The saga of this song seems to be a convoluted semi-accidental stealing thing, and I'm not qualified to get into it. I do like it, but I liked it more as a child; I think it's a child's song. But the song it originated from is much more interesting. Look up Zulu singer Soloman Linda's "Mbube."

BEST OF 1961: "Hit the Road Jack"    WORST OF 1961: A lot to choose from again, but I'm going with "Michael"

[horrordirtbag]

freddy vs jason appreciation hours

This gon be a long ass post, summary at the bottom

Okay so basically this movie gets shidded the fuck on and y’know what I think too harshly. I think it did an amazing job bringing all of our slasher wet-dreams to life. And that’s one thing I really wanna stress throughout my incoherent internet rambling: bringing to life our fantasy. Cuz, y’see, I used to think this movie was garbo like many others, until like 4 years ago when I was watching it during a Halloween marathon, and I looked up from my computer and just saw Freddy and Jason, two of my favorite characters of all time, on the same screen together, beating the living shit out of each other. All my issues with it just kinda melted away and I really appreciated what I was looking at, and since then it climbed from the bottom of my list to easily in my top 5 for both franchises.

The fact that this movie even got made is a miracle. I’m just grateful that we even got to see this match brought to life at all. Just overcoming the rights issue between two major companies was a major hurdle to cross. Once that was settled, they could have just slapped together any shitty old movie they wanted and made a gazillion bucks no matter what. The title alone, Freddy vs Jason, would sell tickets, even if the actual movie was just two hand puppets smacking eachother for an hour and a half. But, no. New Line acquired the rights to Jason around 1992, and they immediately began work on the crossover. The only reason they made Jason Goes to Hell was because they had to wait for Wes Craven to finish New Nightmare first. That’s 11 years of development hell. They went through 10 scripts before they found one they liked, not to mention an innumerable amount of pitches. That’s an incredible amount of effort for a cheap slasher film. They spent thousands on the project before it even went into pre-production. Michael De Luca, the president of production at New Line, was an extreme fan of both franchises and really wanted to get it right.  New Line Cinema get’s a lot of flack for it’s treatment of the Friday franchise, and yeah, when you send Jason up his sisters coochie and into outerspace I can see why, but after reading more into the companies history with Jason, I don’t get the impression it was all cynicism. Even if you think the final product is dookie, you gotta give them some credit for the amount of dedication they put in for this project. And, you gotta remember, even though they produced far better films, Paramount was pretty much ashamed of their creation and ditched it as soon as it began making them less money.

Now I’m gonna talk about some of the actual problems with the movie itself. The main two are also both directed at our maggot-infested son. If you’re as much of a raging fan as I am to the point where you write essays for like 10 people to read on a website that hates tiddies you already know what I’m talking about. Let’s start with the fear-of-water debacle. This part pisses off the Friday camp, and for good reason. Any quick look at the past 10 movies shows you it’s just not true. Jason practically exists in water. He’s like the human version of Godzilla. But, in reality, Jason was never afraid of water in the movie. The screenplay writers have confirmed that it wasn’t a fear of water itself, but of drowning. And, well, we know that Jason shouldn’t be afraid of that either, being chained to the bottom of a lake for years on end’n all. But, even then, it’s not quite that simple. What Freddy is doing is exploiting Jason’s subconscious mind and the memory of the last time Jason ever felt fear: when he was a child, drowning. This is why Jason reverts back to a child, and then Freddy returns to the memory of his drowning in 1957. Ronny Yu went a much more metaphoric route in portraying this, but you can still kind of make it out. If you notice, even Jason seems surprised at his sudden refusal to chop through the stream of water. It’s not like he didn’t see it before he pulled his arm back. And, then, immediately after, we see Jason wading through Crystal Lake dragging a body, and at the end of the movie raises out of the water in New Blood fashion. So, it’s clear that even in the same movie, Jason was never intended to be afraid of water. Now, let’s talk about our gift-from-god Kane Hodder. As much as I love the final film, I hate how New Line treated our star man. This is the one thing I can’t really defend about the movie. No one still really knows why Kane was dropped, everyone involved just pointing fingers at each other, probably because whoever really did make the decision is afraid of Kane’s tree trunk arms. Even Sean Cunningham and other people deeply involved with the project were shocked they didn’t use Kane. For my two cents, I don’t think it’s one person or one specific reason to point to, but rather a whole bunch. In large part, I think Ronny Yu not being a fan of the franchise prior has a lot to do with it. He just didn’t realize that Kane was so beloved by the fanbase. Ken Kirzinger said that he initially auditioned to be stunt coordinator, and Ronny immediately asked him to play Jason, saying something around the lines of “you’re exactly what I’m looking for.” I can see why New Line would want someone with no connection to the franchises, as to bring in a fresh take, but for something like this, which is pretty much just a fanboy movie, it would have been better to grab someone who was also a fan. As to why New Line didn’t tell Kane Hodder they were going with someone else, I dunno. We probably will never know who was responsible for that lol. As disappointing as it is, I think Ken did a fine job (although I think he was a little too stiff), and I don’t think we should dismiss the entire film for it alone. This post is getting way longer than I anticipated. If you’re still here, hi, I hope your day is going well. Those art the only complaints, though, of course. Something I hear often is that the final fight is fantastic, but the rest of the movie sucks. I can’t really argue with that since it’s really vague, but I can say that, to me, the rest of the movie is great fun. Even if Freddy only has one kill, he has plenty of screen-time, all pretty good (and the one kill he does get in is great). And Jason’s stuff is all great too. The cornfield rave, the hospital chase, all good shid imo. But really that just comes down to personal taste.   Another thing I can’t really argue about are the characters being bland. Yeah, not much to say there. But honestly, I don’t think they’re terrible by any means (Kia dropping the f-bomb is tho). I have a feeling this complaint comes more from the Nightmare camp, since that series is home to much more compelling characters. Being more of a Friday fan, it just doesn’t bother me. 11 movies in, I’m used to bland characters lmao. Although, I do think Mark was a pretty interesting character. His relationship with his brother is pretty great.  One strange phenomenon I also see is that Freddy fans tend to complain that it feels too much like a Friday the 13th movie, while Jason fans say it feels too much like A Nightmare on Elm Street movie. And it’s not just me, either; this is also discussed briefly in Dustin McNeill’s fantastic book Slash of the Titans: The Road to Freddy vs Jason. If anything, this just feels like a testament to how well the movie blended the tones of both franchises.  The movie does also get too silly at times, but I think they did a decent job of reigning Freddy’s goofiness back to, I’d say, Nightmare 4 levels. Which is alright by me. nOW ONTO THE GOOD SHIT, We’re almost there. I swear. As I just mentioned, the movie masterfully blends both franchises. The movie has the plot of a Nightmare film, with Freddy pulling the strings, but has the bodycount (and characters lol) of a Jason film. Just because the plot is very Freddy oriented doesn’t mean Jason is left in his shadow, and just because Jason gets most of the kills doesn’t mean Freddy doesn’t get his time to shine either (the movie has plenty of Nightmare sequences, even if he only kills one). Complaints about Freddy only getting one kill are odd to me, since that’s the entire point of the movie. Jason is stealing Freddy’s kills. The ending, really, symbolizes what I mean. It’s the best possible way to end it. Jason rises from the water, holding Freddy’s head, making you think he’s the victor, but- nope! Freddy winks at the camera, and then the Nightmare jingle plays, mixed in with Jason’s iconic ki ki ki ma ma ma, perfectly balancing both franchises.  I’ve seen people complain about the ending, but I honestly think it’s genius. If you had Jason win, Friday fans would be mad; if you had Freddy win, Nightmare fans would be mad. Instead, not only is it really cool, but with the ending we got, the viewers themselves are allowed to decide who won, no answer being particularly wrong. To this day, people still debate who came out victorious.  Beyond that, the plot itself is such a great way to bring both characters together. Previous scripts had such convoluted ways of doing so, some involving the Apocalypse, some going meta like New Nightmare, and some just making no fucking sense at all. The Shannon/Swift draft does such a great job of keeping it simple. I love the idea of Springwood covering up Freddy’s existence, rendering him powerless. Not only is it the closest anyone’s ever gotten to actually defeating Freddy, but it also presents to the viewer a complex moral dilemma. Locking the kids away in Westin Hills is horribly cruel, unable to even see their family, but at the same time, if they didn’t, more kids would die at Freddy’s hand. To me, it’s really interesting.  The final thing I have to say, is that it’s just a boat load of fun. You can’t not have a fan orgasm watching the final battle (although they really shouldn’t have had Laurie interrupt the fight). It’s literally everything I ever wanted lmao, and I’m just eternally grateful that we got to see this match play out on our screens rather than just our minds before Robert Englund got too old. Again, seeing two of my favorite characters ever on the same screen is just awesome. In my opinion, I think it’s the best crossover-versus movie out there.  Some people just don’t like the movie and that’s fine, you can’t please everyone. I’m just dishing out why I love it so much, since it’s so vastly regarded as one of the worst of the series. You don’t see too much love out there for it, so I thought I’d spice it up.  TL:DR, I think this movie was such a wonderful love letter to the fans, and while it’s far from perfect, I think people really need to give it a second chance and look at it from a different perspective. It wasn’t made cynically, it wasn’t disrespectful to Jason, and it did a great job of bringing our fanboy and fangirl fantasies to life.

[nerd4music]

What do you think of this season of sense 8 compared to the first season?

it was much improved. s1 on top of being confusing with an incredibly thin central story had a lot of bothersome elements (will’s initial plot as the well-meaning white cop was just…yikes, no) you can see the difference in the character development, in solo storylines and the way they included all of the mains. More cluster interactions but also scenes between those characters who rarely got one on one time together in the first season. 

The overall plot is a lot less convoluted, like they actually sat down in the writers room this go round and considered shit beyond I dunno, orgies and unnecessarily long opening credits. Lots of world building is required for a show like this, and s1 kind of felt like them putting the cart before the horse a lot of the time, not bothering to explain pretty much anything, but in this go-round you get more background into the science of sensates and their importance, which was pretty necessary.

It’s still silly as shit sci-fi and some stuff’s still kinda groan-worthy, but I’d say it’s a better effort than the first season, and worth giving a second watch if you’ve got some time to kill.

[3one3]

The Sequel - 824

Three True Things

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s (okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

“Which thing you ate did you like best?”

“The flaaaaaan,” Christina told the new restaurateur dreamily while turning onto her back and sighing with the back of her left hand on her forehead dramatically. It sounded like she was talking about something fantastical, and it made Juan smile again. “It was sooooo good. I didn’t even know orange liqueur caramel is a thing. I also didn’t even order it. It just showed up. People are really going to love your restaurant if dessert just arrives out of nowhere.”

“I sent it for you! We tried a few flavors for the caramel the other day and it was tough to decide. David asked me which you would like best and we went with that one. I was texting with you, that’s why.” He patted her very full tummy where her shirt rode up from the khaki blanket. “So far I’m happy he got involved. Hopefully it doesn’t all go to hell.”

“Well you said before that he’s not going to be here full-time, right? He’s just a partner, and the executive chef?”

“Yes. You had a good time with Natasha? You two were laughing each time I looked to check on you.”

“Yeah, it was fine. We were laughing at Eden, mostly. What’s your favorite thing on the menu?”

“To be honest I’m sick of everything already. I had to eat a lot of it while David perfected each dish.���

“Did he make a cocktail for me too or was that you?” Christina turned her head to smirk. She didn’t actually try Christina’s Bellini though, because Juan’s dad told her about a bunch of wines she absolutely had to have.

“Technically our bartender made that up, but I asked him to make something. I said you love apple juice, apple cider, apple water, apple chips, and regular apples, and I told him you love champagne. He asked some questions about other cocktails you like and when he said Bellini I remembered your story about how you love them because the girl in your favorite book loved them and had them everywhere she went, and at strange times.”

“Awww.”

“Did you try it?”

“No. Next time! I assume I can always get a table there,” the rider winked.

“I can take you back for lunch if you like. We open at 11.”

“No thank you. I hope to still be in this bed at 11, with you.” She started to wriggle over to get closer, preparing to get some of her on top of some of him, or at least mingle their legs together. I’ve had to wait long enough for Juanin snuggles, she complained inside. Why are we doing our catching up on separate pillows? Why aren’t his arms around me yet? “Where exactly did you have surgery? Is there anywhere I can’t climb on you, or?”

Juan lifted his shirt and pulled down his shorts and underwear to show her the evidence of the procedure. His curious friend was surprised to see only a line of previously sutured skin about an inch and a half long. He explained that there was a little “blob of escaped intestine” down by the pubic bone that the doctor pushed back inside the wall of muscle that was meant to keep it in place, did something about a nerve, and then reinforced the wall so it wouldn’t happen again. It was the pain of the affected muscles that was most difficult to deal with, and waiting for them to repair themselves was what would keep him off the pitch for so long. They needed time to heal before they could be asked to do difficult work again. Christina understood just how much work abdominal muscles really do despite seeming like a relatively non-vital group in terms of kicking a ball. She’d pulled muscles there before, and even just suffered soreness from ab workouts that made it painful for her to do anything from getting out of bed in the morning to balancing on one foot to buckle a sandal. She proffered a kiss for the stubbly skin beside the surgery site. The player also said he wasn’t supposed to have sex yet, but was willing to try for her.

“If I sit still and you do everything, it might be okay,” he suggested 30 seconds into Christina’s series of liplocks she claimed were to make him feel better and to apologize for not being around to look after him. In reality she just wanted to make out with him and was done with the catching up on other stuff part of the program. Their lips and fingertips had catching up to do of their own. The only problem was the awkwardness of leaning over on her hands and knees from next to him, since she wasn’t allowed to sit on his stomach as she normally would. This is awkward and it’s ruining how good the making out should be, she thought to herself instead of addressing the Spanish player’s sex suggestion. I need more of us to be touching. How hard is it to make out and spoon? Is that like the worst neck pain of life? What if we were face to face but on our sides? Is it okay to press against his tummy if it’s not the weight of my body? “What’s wrong? You keep making the frustrated little girl noise.”

“I wanna be closer. I- I know it’s silly given everything but...I was just starting to feel like...like...” The plaintive breaths turned into plaintive words and gestures.

“Like what, cariña?”

“Like your body is mine,” Christina cringed. “And then I went away, and now I’m back but there’s like a bubble around your waist that I can’t go near now, and...I don’t know. I’m so lame. This is just a weird Chris thing.”

“No you aren’t. I’m not sure I know what you mean though.” Juan remained understanding of her frustration if not the actual source of it. He was patient as she figured out how to express herself the best way she could, no matter the subject or the level of convolution in her explanations.

“I was at like...maximum comfort level with you, physically speaking. Where not only do I not have to think about what you’ll think about whatever I do, but I actually just magically stop thinking about it- where I can touch you anywhere, any time, or be touched anywhere, any time, and not be anxious that you’ll be bothered, or that you’re going to feel a stretch mark and judge me, or you’ll think I’m overstepping. I mean- I- I kinda haven’t cared for a really long time, like years and years, but I guess it’s just more lately. I guess before it was more that I just didn’t worry too much about what you thought when you took liberties but I didn’t feel entitled to take as many with you? Maybe? I dunno, man. Forget I even brought it up.”

“I’ve been trying to put my penis into your colon for like 4 years and you think you aren’t entitled to touch me however you want?” the Chelsea man laughed. It was practically a cackle. Christina was almost too busy bristling and cowering away from the word “colon” to notice the joy in his laughter, and by the time she did she then worried that he was going to hurt himself. How does someone who laughs as much as Juanin survive torn tummy muscles? It must be so painful. “You are such a weird girl. I love it. There is no other like you,” he teased.

“Can you please never use the word “colon” in a sex discussion ever again? And stop laughing or you’ll pop a suture or something.”

“I don’t have any to pop! I’m fine. You can touch wherever you want, cariña.” His laughter wound down some but it still bubbled out of his face and his eyes. The carefree nature of his amusement really assured her that he wasn’t that bothered about what they were talking about before- about their situation, and the inherent unfairness. That was a relief to her too. She reached under his right arm with her left and held onto his shoulder, nuzzling her face right into the middle of his small chest, unsure of whether she wanted him to see her gesture as something funny and put on, like a demonstration of her desire for the entitlement, or if she wanted him to think she was just that in need of affection and closeness. Also, she wasn’t sure which one would have been the correct interpretation. “What are you doing? Who invited you to touch me this way? Why are you doing this?”

“Shut up.”

“Why are you even in my bed? This is my personal space.”

“Want me to leave?”

“Maybe.”

“Want me to stay forever?”

“Definitely.”

“Love you,” Christina said quietly, her face still rubbing up and down over a very small section of the player’s shirt. She thought absently about the fact that she hadn’t washed her face yet, and was likely transferring a lot of makeup onto him. That makeup was the foremost thing on her mind in that embrace was actually a significant thing. Juan was a naturally occurring anti-anxiety supplement for her. She could forget about bombs, horses, conflicts, relationships, etc. She could just “be”, and do it as herself instead of someone else, or as one of her many titles. Christina wasn’t “Mommy” to him, or “the boss”, or “the talent”, or “wife”. It seemed nice earlier in the day to just be “the client” in the chair at her hairdresser’s place, and be pampered and catered to. That was nothing compared to just being Christina holding Juan, in Juan’s room, without any crises going on, while Juan held onto her too.

“Forever is a lot to ask, but I wish you were here more than tonight.”

“Me too. I’m so behind with the other horses though. Hey. What’s happening for you birthday?” the rider questioned, sitting up.

“You’re jumping out of a cake, naked.”

“Yeah, no.”

“I want to do something at the beach house, with family, but this weekend instead of my birthday weekend, because we’re back to thinking I could do team training toward the end of next week.”

“And me?”

“And you.”

“K good.” Christina settled back down on her side, and found a way to get her head on the inside of Juan’s left elbow, trapping his whole arm but not his hand, which immediately took up some of her freshly trimmed hair. “D’ya’know’what? I would like to cook a meal for your whole family. Can I do that? Or do you need your mom to make your favorite stuff for your birthday?”

“You can do the cooking if you want, angel.” He gazed down at her profile with a mostly blank expression, and to her that meant he was thinking about something besides what he was saying. She wondered what exactly it was, but didn’t want to know enough to actually ask. “I think I have a few nights free that I can go away, so that’s enough time that everyone can cook whatever they like. ”

“I don’t know how long I can come. Probably just one night. Do you have to eat less because you’re not running around every day?”

“I keep that in mind, yes. I’m less hungry anyway when I do less. You should come Sunday afternoon and stay until Monday night. I know my dad only wants to come that night. He doesn’t want to miss the first two weekend nights at the restaurant.”

“That would work for me actually, ‘cause Schü is going to the doctor in Munich on Monday anyway and I can still spend time with him Sunday before leaving. He likes Sunday stuff. I want to light some candles and kill the lights but I also want to not move.”

“I support not moving,” the Spaniard declared. “Except for a little.” He let his balance shift forward, and collected his ex-girlfriend by the waist in order to drag her nearer to his. His arm stayed around her even when she was secure against him, and kept her in just the right spot- touching him but not putting pressure on his healing sore spots. He also moved forward on his pillow to let his chin rest on the top of her head, which was still holding down his other arm. “I support staying still in this best moment of the night.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t around when they made holes in your tummy.”

“I didn’t even tell you it was happening, so how could you have done?”

“If I were around regularly then you wouldn’t have to tell me because I would see and know. You know, I was thinking the other night-“

“I hope you didn’t injure yourself doing that.”

“Shush. I think all the time! You love my thinking. What was I saying?”

“I have no idea.”

“Me either.”

“I’m sure it would have been brilliant.”

“Naturally.”

“Tired?”

“Not especially,” Christina yawned. She couldn’t reach to cover her mouth and didn’t bother to try. She did, however, let go of Juan’s shoulder in favor of rubbing his chest right in front of her face. It was hard for her to stop thinking about how things like needing surgery, and missing out on the end of the season, are the kind of life events that make one extra thankful for their partner, or that highlight the absence of one. It really seemed like a terrible time for him to be withdrawing from his relationship with Taylor. He always says he loves her. It has to be hard to stop seeing someone you love, even if you have reasons, or you don’t enjoy seeing them that much anymore, and you want somebody you love to bring you clear liquids and bland food while you recover, and to be there when you open the restaurant you’ve been working on for months and months. And it’s not just that I wasn’t there for the surgery. I’m away all the time now. It must be so lonely, she rued on his behalf. Part of her wanted to be brave and ask for more information about the Taylor situation, or at least how they arrived at the lack of a situation. The rest didn’t necessarily want to know.

“What are you thinking about? You have problems being still in your mind when you’re still with your body, even in my arms.”

“Just you,” she replied, as if to insist. “How you are...”

“I don’t seem well?” her pillow asked with mock surprise.

“I don’t want you to be lonely.”

“I’m not lonely, baby girl. I haven’t been lonely in so long that I don’t know if I would recognize lonely again if it introduced itself to me.”

“Uhhuh.”

“That’s the truth.”

“K.”

“I’m especially not lonely when I’m with you,” Juan assured, lowering his head to make eye contact. He made lip contact too, and his hand slid down from the small of her back to the fullest part of her butt.

“What percentage of your missing me would you say is related to my delightful companionship and what percent is my female anatomy?” Christina questioned knowingly.

“Why do all girls ask that? Every one I’ve ever been with asked some version of that question.”

“Because we all want to be loved for who we are, not what we are. Duh.”

“What is the proper answer though? If I said I could live without fucking you, then you think I don’t like it, or that I think you’re fat and ugly. If I say 50/50 then you don’t believe me anyway.”

“How about just going with the truth?” she smiled, a finger tapping and then rubbing side to side over his chin. She was delighted to be able to make an innocuous yet intimate contact such as that.

“One night I go to bed and the only thing I want in the world is to talk to you on the same pillow like this,” he told her, calm and plain, like he wasn’t about to grow her smile. “The next, I look at pictures of you in a bikini on the beach and can’t stop thinking about how far past the bikini my cock goes. Like where between the bikini and your belly button do I reach? Does it make your stomach stick out? How do girls just absorb cock into the body? Things are crowded in there already, I assume. “Ewww, Juaniiiin!”,” he finished, mimicking her expected response. She was too busy laughing to be grossed out though.

“I feel like you’re not the first guy to tell me he wonders about that, and yet it’s still hilarious.”

“Do girls not wonder?” the footballer shot back, shocked. “I would wonder. I would look at a big cock and worry that it’s going to do some damage.”

“Okay stop.”

“But seriously, if you had to guess where it goes, where would it be? Can you point-“

“This isn’t sexy. You’re not being sexy, Juanin,” Christina pouted.  

“I think you’re sexy when you say silly things. I think you only think I’m sexy when I wear a suit and drive my Aston Martin.”

“Oh my god you’re so wrong,” she giggled back. “I think you’re sexy when you play football, except when you do something klutzy like aggressively faceplant or kick the ball in your face. Football is like your most sexy thing. Then...” The rider’s eyes lifted toward the ceiling in a gesture illustrative of her brainstorming. All the attention of fans, media, and colleagues concentrated on her for her performances or her controversial quotes on the show circuit paled in comparison to the attention paid to her in the form of youthful flirting. She basked in it. It masked pain in her lower back, and the sting in the corner of her eyes from wearing makeup all day long. “Sometimes you’re really sexy when you read, and always when you push your sleeves up and do stuff with your hands. I even think you’re sexy when you talk to me late at night and you’re really sleepy and your voice gets all quiet and soft and innocent. Oh and when you smirk. You’re so sexy when you smirk. It’s unbearable. Every single time you touch me, it’s sexy. It doesn’t matter if you’re just trying to get me to move out of the way because I walk slow and I’m taking up the whole sidewalk and getting in someone’s way, not just when you close your hand around my throat and look at me like you want to chain me to your bed and never let me leave.”

“I couldn’t keep you as a sex slave.” Juan shook his head a little to reject the notion, but was wedging two of his fingers between her butt cheeks at the same time. “I enjoy being out with you too much. The sex is better when I spend all day or all night waiting for it anyway.”

“I bet you were too busy tonight to even think of it.”

“This is true. Not since we got home though. Since we came home and you took your jacket off and spun around in that dress...Since we came home I want to see the face between when you know it’s going to happen and when you get off.”

“Oh yeah? Is it a very sexy face?” Christina tried to emulate what she imagined her about-to-orgasm expression looked like to a guy who believed he was the sole reason she was going to have one, but she knew she just looked fake and silly. Everything about her friend’s tone and touch told her he was trying to be serious, and to conjure a certain mood. The rider was just momentarily more interested in the chat than the foreplay. Anyone could turn her on or flatter. A pillow-to-pillow conversation with Juan was singular and unique. It couldn’t happen with anyone else, and it couldn’t happen all the time. She didn’t want to waste the opportunity.

“It’s a beautiful face- an honest face.”

“Yes,” she smiled. “I’ve never faked it for you.”

“Not what I meant. Your face...it’s like...it’s the most true moment of your life. I know for sure it’s the only moment you don’t worry about anything. I’ve told you that before. You look so carefree and happy. But also like the only thing in the world that you actually trust and believe in is that when you get that feeling, the full release is coming. It’s guaranteed. It’s definitely about to happen and there’s no question. I think that’s the only thing you actually trust- the only thing you know for sure. Your face is beautiful anyway, and sometimes your mouth hangs open a certain way and your eyebrows pinch just together and your eyelashes lose control, but I love the belief in it. You get close when you talk about Dirk sometimes, but never all the way to the same thing.”

“I have a list of things I know to be true, 100%, and never question.” Christina stopped touching the Spaniard’s chin and slid her palm to the side of his neck instead, but she spoke directly to the chin. It was easier. He’d succeeded in making her serious. “It’s very short; I’ll grant you that. The first thing is that Sebastian Vettel is the best Formula 1 driver ever. I have reasons. He’s better than Schumi and I’ll explain it to you again if you want, but not right now. The second is that Dirk is the greatest jumping horse of my generation. He’s better than Hickstead. I know it in it my heart. His peak was better. And I know you love me more than anyone else.” He smiled dismissively at the first item on her list, fondly at the second, and quizzically at the last.

“I love you more than I love anyone else, or I love you more than anyone else loves you?”

“Both, but I was saying it the second way.” Schü loves me the first way, and I think he believes the second way too, but I’m not sure that’s true. I’m not sure he’s capable of as much love as Juanin is. I’m not sure if he loved me that way that he could have left me. I also don’t know if I love him that way. I don’t know how you know. That’s why I only know three things are true.

“How do you know?”

“I used to look for evidence. I look for evidence for everything. I’m data-based. I like information. But I know it’s true because I feel it and I don’t question it. Seb and Dirk are the only other things in my life that I trust my instincts about, and don’t even have to fight or struggle to do it. They’re the three things I believe in.”

“What about André?”

“As I was just reminding myself, I’m not sure if he has the ability to love someone as much as you do. I think his maximum is a little less. Maybe. Or something. I don’t know. And the fact that I don’t know means I can’t put it on the list. Get it?”

“I do.”

“Good.”

“Who do you love more than anyone else?”

“Lukas.”

“That’s not fair,” Juan laughed with a bunch of her butt squeezed in his hand. “That’s an easy answer.”

“If I knew another one then things would be different.”

“I believe that.”

I don’t even want an answer, the dethroned World Cup Jumping Champion concluded. She’d shut her eyes and hoped for a little silence, despite her earlier wish for endless pillow talk. Juan seemed prepared to give her the quiet. He continued messing with her hair and expanded his grip on her behind into a more comprehensive massage under, over, and around her underwear. If I knew which one of them I love more, then I would have to give the other one up...or something. I don’t know. I don’t know what the rules are. Juanin doesn’t think you should only reserve yourself for “The One”. He’s fine with being with the person who falls short of that while waiting for The One. So if he were going to be with two people the way I kinda am right now, would he be fine with one being on another level compared to the other? Or is he done with Taylor now because that’s not how it works? Why can’t there just not be any rules? Or why can’t the only rule be: Do what makes you happy. Because I’m pretty happy with the prospect of not having to give up either of them. But that’s not even really the situation, Christina sighed inside. The situation is that I don’t know if Schü and I can be together anymore. I don’t know if this nice period we’re in right now is going to be the normal thing or the rarity. And if us being happy together is going to be a regular thing, then do I keep having this thing with Juan too? There’s no way he would hang around for that for long. It’s so unfair for him. So where does all this go, and am I capable of doing what I said I’m doing, and just waiting to see what happens? God, she groaned to herself. If I could negotiate for any major personality trait, that would be it. I would love to be able to wait and see.

The Chelsea man whose bed she felt very at home in was giving her the necessary quiet to think through the things their conversation forced back to the forefront, but he thought he was giving her a chance to be quiet and enjoy his touch. He got closer still to her, and brought his fingertips nearer to the place none of her other friends were allowed to touch, and his lips somehow ended up resting passively on her forehead. Percentage of need or want relating to personality and percentage of need or want relating to sex aside, the player had shifted his focus to just one of those. Not until she made an amateur effort at “wait and see” did Christina really notice the focus of his effort. His hands did feel good. The one opening and closing in her hair at the back of her head was relaxing and kind of numbing, and the one between her legs was provocative in its experienced method. Juan knew just the right way to play with his best friend’s sensitive spots. He knew she liked when he literally petted just beyond the defined indentation where her butt became not her butt, and when he curled his finger so that the specific contact went from the cushy and broad surface of his entire fingertip pad to the harder, smaller, more precise feeing of just the end of the finger. All his explorations were just a little bit teasing as a collective, and a lot satisfying- and not just physically. Knowing he knew exactly what he was doing was important too. Intimacy was the greatest turn on for her, and he touched her in a manner demonstrative of their long cultivated intimacy. She gathered some of his shirt in her left hand and squeezed it tight, stuck between wanting to tell her body to calm down a little and wanting the opposite.

“Babe,” she mumbled unintentionally as her legs made the decision for her. They began to move, with no real purpose other than looking for a way to exaggerate the feeling of the Spaniard’s touch. Her big toe traced the bottom of her heel and then spread from her other toes enough to clamp gently on the back of her Achilles, and the muscles in her butt and thighs took turns tightening and loosening just to see how that changed things.

“How do you want to try this?”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.” Now, or in general. In the future. In the long term.

“We could do just hands,” Juan offered before lowering his chin so that he could kiss the girl desperate to be with him but terrified of making his life more difficult. “And lips.” She got a second smooch that helped to distract from the fear of long-term injury at least. “And tongues.”

“I do love your tongue,” she whispered back when he was finished with the kisses.

“When you say you miss me, what percent would you say is that you miss my tongue, and-“

“Shoosh!”

“Show me where to put my mouth so I can’t talk.”