#i dunno man. i'll sort my shit out eventually. somehow. i just dont know how

[isdalinarhot]

man ive been drinking at new levels of Drinking Alone like not only am i physically alone but im also not making bad posts or talking to friends or any of that. im straight up just sitting in my apartment getting drunk with the precision and focus of a nasa astronaut doing. space math. or something, maybe having dinner if i can manage it, and then sitting down to work on my fic and writing a bunch of shit that is both incoherent and fucking unusable that i most nights have to just straight up cut anyway when im sober working on the fic the next day. fucking depressing.

[butchbenrey]

Are there any theories, predictions, or hopes you experience in regards to hl2vrai?

Also, consider this: benrey that is of copious spikes

god i have a complicated relationship with the idea of hl2vrai for so many reasons, most of them being really personal so i dont have as many theories or expectations as youd might think. the whole announcement and trailer happened during a really rough period of my life so the whole thing kinda has the ooze for me. still, i know i'll watch it when it comes out. i can't not, hlvrai has been my whole thing for nearly 3 years now.

as far as what i expect to happen, i think benrey probably wont come back. or if he does, itll be for a gag or something. this is gonna sound so bitter (because it admittedly is) but it seems like the crew is largely obsessed with teasing their fans for liking benrey too much and i imagine theyll keep dangling him over our heads. maybe thats too cynical, i dunno. i honestly don't think most of the science team will be returning? like obviously gordon, coomer, and g-man will, and people have theorized that tommy is that second g-man we saw which i can definitely get behind. but baaulp didn't like playing tommy and i don't get the vibe that gir is particularly attached to bubby either. i imagine the crew would wanna switch things up because they're notoriously unpredictable.

also, from the moment i saw alyx with a fat cigar in the trailer i've been pretty confident mira will play her, which i was initially really hyped for but now have complicated feelings about (again, for personal reasons).

speaking of alyx, i definitely don't think the gnome himself is coming back but i do think that the gnome series will have something to do with hl2vrai. ever since the gnome finale theater scene with the peppa pig monologue i've assumed "the girl" that "gordon" would meet soon was alyx. i imagine she'll have some memory of the gnome series somehow, or she'll have some knowledge of the higher powers at play (like whatever the fuck gaben was talking about wrt his games being their own entities and shit) or whatever. i wouldn't be surprised if they built on that meta aspect of the gnome series and make the game of half life 2 itself its own sort of character in a way. like, the nature of the copy of half life vr that "gordon" was playing within the fiction of hlvrai was left really ambiguous. "gordon" questioned it of course and was baffled by the weird ai but eventually just came to accept it. it was only truly interrogated by coomer at the very end, and not for long. but with the trailer for hl2vrai being narrated by coomer and having such a focus on how the ais were left to rot without the player, it seems like the meta aspects of the story will come into a bit more focus. but also, maybe not. because as much as the gnome series toyed with examining the nature of the game, most of it was ultimately left ambiguous. we'll see, i guess.

those are my expectations and predictions. my hope is that it's not as cynically self-referential as the brba stream and everything surrounding it was. ultimately i don't care if benrey's not in it, i don't care if none of my predictions are true, i don't care if it's wildly different from hlvrai in every way. they'll make a high quality work of art no matter what. i just don't want it to have that same weird mild contempt for hlvrai fans that i had seen not just in the brba stream but also cropping up here and there in other streams. like, the "stay tuned and benrey will be at the end of the stream" joke was funny maybe for the first 3 times but after that it just got really tiring. i think rtvs has every right to not be happy with their fans and they don't owe us anything but that doesn't mean i have to like it when they're mean about it, y'know? it just gets old really quickly and i don't super love being the butt of the joke just for being a big fan of a series they made. shrugs.

alternate answer: i hope the sacred texts come true