#i feel a fever incoming but the words just came to me sooo

[harmonysanreads]

giving many kisses to 🕯️anon for their neuvillette masterpiece xx If 🕯️anon has anymore thoughts on yan!neuvillette, I’m begging for more. please allow me to add my own brainrots in the conversation <3

Imagine if neuvillette put on trial someone from a foreign nation. Maybe a sumeru scholar traveling to fontaine for their thesis or a liyuean opera trope performer recently gifted a trip to fontaine. someone deeply engrained with their nation’s culture.

Only to be imprisoned under false charges all under neuvillette’s direction. Once under false charges, they’ll never be allowed to leave fontaine again, either imprisoned and under guard or in debt in neuvillette and reliant on his word to maintain their innocence.

Imagine being forced into a perpetual cycle of Fontaine’s latest fashion trends, their old thin silky robes being traded for layers and layers of billowy skirts. To engage in daily rigid suffocating etiquette every second rather than the causal and loose atmosphere of their home. Listening to fontaine’s ballet and opera rather than Nilou’s free spirited dancing or traditional Liyuean opera.

All the cultural whiplash and rigid etiquette of both neuvillette and the public watching their every move with no support, no family would break anyone.

Perhaps while they feel as if they are alone, burning the midnight oil to polish over a mistake neuvillette harshly critiqued earlier, they hum a little melody. Something reminiscent of their homeland, a lullaby passed down from parent to child. Humming turns into small sobs until their tune is a cohesion of broken choking and nostalgic memories, crumbling under the weight of neuvillette’s now very present shadow next to their desk.

They say, home is where the heart is and you've never resonated with a sentence more in your life.

Before, the meaning of home used to be simple, mundane, something you wouldn't even consider that gravely. Home used to be the buzzing of the busy populace at the ports and streets, it used to be dishes dashed with spices of all kinds, it used to be the reassurance of familiar faces. These blurs of happenstances once made your heart flutter with solace, solace that home was at your fingertips. Now, they only torment you with regret for not cherishing them more — because as it is, humans only understand the value of something once that has been snatched away.

Your ears almost don't pick up the soothing hushes leaving Neuvillette's lips, his arms pressing you further in his embrace. Your tears stain his night-robe but he doesn't seem to mind. You allow it as well, your mind too broken to think, your body too numb to push and your being too desperate to let go of this gesture of affection. You should be furious at him for the things he's done, you should scream, kick, curse, hit —and he'd agree that you wouldn't be guilty of that. Normally, he'd take initiatives to harshly criticize this ungraceful behavior and then the lengthy programs to correct it and it'd go on and on til one of you broke (it's always you).

Even when Neuvillette initiates affection, it's never to actually comfort you. They're delivered as rewards because you followed his wishes. But at this night while the rest of Fontaine slumbers and you break, his arms feel secure for once. So you don't struggle and let him coo and hold you tight, you wonder if he adjusts his intentions precisely because you offer no resistance.

Your words sink in his clothes, only a ‘I want to go home’ escapes with enough coherence for it to catch the judge's attention. He lifts your face up to meet his gaze, fingers brushing away stray tears.

“You are at home, this is your home now.” you expected the words to be plain and stern, but they come off as whispers as well. You would've known even if he didn't bother to say, because he's inscribed them in your heart time and time again and tonight, at last, you've accepted it.

[corpsentry]

SORRY i keep coming here to yell !! you got me thinking about cdramas (& t dramas) i enjoyed and then forgot about :"] i watched 如果奔跑是我的人生 earlier this year and the ending lost me, but i was quite captivated by its 20+ episodes before. it centres around parental relationships (asian) and, i don't know much about dance at all but a main character is a dancer and her story made me feel things. the performances were sick, in my unprofessional opinion! I'm Fine is a gorgeous ost track. btw.... i've started rewatching 不良执念清除师 again and i CANNOT RECOMMEND IT HIGHLY ENOUGH. i've been thinking about it (on ep 5 LOL) and i actually don't think the ending dropped the thread or ball or 链子 or however that saying goes (im fever SORRY.... i think it was cathartic and beautiful in the way a galaxy is— i just could not get enough of those guys T__T 不良执念清除师 is about sulky teen (??) guys moving through the world with so much heart. it's about LOVE and ART and how the living go on after tragedy, it's about how. how (PARDON ME....) we get to keep everything we've ever loved for even a fraction of a moment & what we are doing is worthwhile even if it is very small !!!!! it is a show that is, in Voice from IMBD's words, an outstanding Taiwanese drama that excels in every aspect, because it was made with so much care and love...(meta!) also, gay people

first of all No Apology thank you for coming to yell!!! you have a big heart full of love for the world and it moves me!!!! i went down this rabbit hole on m*dramalist after watching 我们的少女时代/our times (2015)-

(tangent incoming) this movie Shook the secondary 2 scene in singapore when it came out everyone and their dog was sobbing about it and i listened to 小幸运 Religiously despite never seeing it myself. Having Seen It Now, it is a sweet little thing and it makes me feel desperately old. it also made me CRY, what can i say i’m a sucker for distances and ships passing in the night and i was soooo happy when liudehua appeared and then adult xutaiyu showed up and he Fuck Ass Hair. my lord, his hair looked like SHIT. PICKLED SEAWEED……… i couldn’t cry after that because i was so busy clenching my asscheeks out of sheer despair FUCK HAIR AND. AND!!! A TOO SHORT BLACK BLAZER ON SKINNY JEANS??? I MEAN REALLY??? I KNOW 2015 WAS NINE YEARS AGO but i don’t recall fuckass hair being the in thing then…. this memory i do not have…. you have to understand how emotionally devastating this was to me…… (tangent end)

(tangent part 2) (please look at the way they styled this poor man’s fuck ass hair. i don’t care how earth shatteringly sweet they were in high school if my first love turned up ten years later and he looked like this i would simply walk away)

(tangent end)

the point is, that i then went through vivian sung’s acting history to see what else she’d been in bc she was soooooo lovely and realized that 不良执念清除师 was in said history and then remembered this ask! and your heartfelt words about its story! and i was like Oghey, i watch—

just finished the first episode and mein gott yiyong is such a Teenager…… man i look at 18 year olds and i’m like i don’t remember being like that but i Know i must’ve been, once upon a time. but the range of emotions the script wrung out of him in one episode was kind of insane and his actor is kind of vibey as hell (perhaps this is my sign from god to finally watch your name engraved herein…) and vivian sung is still epic as hell and sooo goofy and i’m excited! i think of u in my head for some reason as the epic tight as hell short chinese dramas anon, i Trust your eyes. they’re good eyes. i’ve also locked down the first 20+ episodes of the other drama you mention here, especially because yang chao yue is in it and she was Breathtaking in the double T T T thank you for the recs! where do you find all of these? i don’t know but you must be doing good out in the world. be well anon. meet a chicken

[svnflowervol666]

h driving around his lovie in the yellow vintage ferrari because lovie loves the humming engine of the car ☺️🐻

Word Count: 2.1k

Harry was at his wit’s end. He was certain that he would be able to take care of his own child for three days whilst his wife enjoyed a weekend away with her closest friends at the beach. Like, absolutely positive. He’d gotten the whole dad thing down pat. All he lacked was the ability to produce breast milk, which Y/N had gladly pumped extra of and stored in the refrigerator before she left. Harry knew exactly when they ate, exactly how much to give them and how long he needed to burp them for so that their tummies wouldn’t be upset later on in the day. Absolutely nothing had been different about the baby’s routine besides the fact that their mother was not here. There was nothing she possessed that was not accessible to the baby while she was gone, yet, for some reason, everything was going wrong.

The baby had quite literally been screaming all day. Harry had unnecessarily changed their diaper about 800 times just in case the material was irritating their skin and he had tried just about everything in the book to soothe them. A cold wash rag for them to chew on in case they were uncomfortable due to incoming teeth, a warm bath in the kitchen sink case they were cold, a million different pacifiers that they only repeatedly spit out. The most peace Harry could get was about an hour when they exhausted their tiny body from wailing and dozed off for a bit, but as soon as they came to, the waterworks started again and Harry was back to nearly pulling his hair out. 

It broke his heart seeing his baby so upset. He was at the point where he felt like a failure of a father. It hadn’t even been a full day since Y/N had left and it felt like everything was falling apart without her. They didn’t have a dirty diaper, didn’t have a fever, didn’t have an empty belly, yet they refused to stop wailing at the top of their lungs like Harry was hurting them just by being around them. He was almost ready to throw in the towel and call Y/N to beg her to come home early until he remembered he had one more lifeline before ruining Y/N’s weekend trip.

//

“Do wha’?” Harry mumbled tiredly yet dumbfoundedly into the sleek, black cell phone he held to his ear.

It was nearly two in the morning. He wasn’t expecting her to pick up the phone, but he sure was glad that she did. He’d hoped she could give him some advice, to tell him what to do or even offer to come over and help. But this was the last thing he’d ever expected his mother to say.

“I’m serious, love. You loved it too when you were being a fussy baby. Something about the sounds of the engine. Put ya right to sleep every time.”

“Tha’s ridiculous. It’s two in the morning.”

“You asked, Har. Just try it. Drive around the block and see if it calms them down a bit. Call me back if that doesn’t work and I guess I can come ‘round.”

Harry was never sure how she always managed to sound so calm. Maybe it was the fact that she’d raised him and his sister at the same time, so anything after that was a piece of cake. Even the sound of her voice was comforting to him and enough to ease some of his nerves. But maybe that was just because she was his mother. 

“Alright. I’ll let ye’ know how it turns out. Thanks f’ pickin’ up so late.”

“Love you, Harry.”

“Love ya too, mum.”

Harry ended the call and tossed his cell onto the unmade bed he shared with Y/N. It looked awfully empty without Y/N in it and part of him wondered if part of the reason why he’d contemplated calling her to come home early was that he missed her warm presence in the house and everything felt cold and wrong without her. He wonders if this is how she feels when he leaves for tour, but doesn’t have much time to dwell on it due to the piercing cries coming from the nursery where the baby had been lying down in an attempt to sleep.

“I hear ye’, I hear ye’,” Harry groaned as his feet padded over the soft carpet to the crib where the baby was. 

“It’s gonna be alright, bubby. Promise ye’.”

He carefully lifted their strained body up from the mattress pad and began patting them on the bum, as if that would soothe them in the slightest at this point. Maybe it wasn’t for the baby but more so Harry. Their tiny little toes were curled in on themselves as they pawed at their face and continued to cry. Harry used to think their cries were cute, he really did. But now, each little huff and puff that left their chest put Harry closer and closer to the edge and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

After placing them snuggly in their carrier, Harry toted both them and his now lukewarm mug of tea to the garage. The Ferrari was the vehicle of choice, mostly because it was the easiest set of keys for him to find and he wasn’t going to spend another second looking for any other keyring. He strapped the baby securely into the backseat of the bright yellow car before hopping in on the driver’s side. He rubbed his dull, tired eyes with the backs of his hands before opening the garage door and bringing the engine to life.

This better fucking work, Harry thought to himself as he peeled out of his private driveway and onto the streets of his neighborhood.

//

Harry couldn’t believe it. Fifty-two seconds. Literally fifty-two seconds after he had turned onto the desolate street that his house was on and began driving aimlessly was all it took for his baby, who has been screaming non-stop for going on six hours, to stop crying and fall asleep immediately. It made Harry laugh out loud at how ridiculous he looked. It was nearing three o'clock in the morning and here Harry was, in his upper class, gated community driving around in a bright yellow Ferrari wearing a shirt covered in baby spit-up and hair that hadn’t been washed in god knows how long - all to make his baby go to sleep.

He kept his low beams on, fearing that he might draw the wrong type of attention at this hour and end up having the police called on him. There was almost something soothing about the engine to him too, he thought. But in actuality, it was probably just that fact that this is the longest he’d gone without listening to his baby cry like someone was inflicting excruciating pain on their tiny little body. 

Harry sipped his tea in between turning corners and continued to creep through the empty streets. After nearly twenty minutes of silence, he felt like it was safe to say that his baby was out for the night. At least he really fucking hoped so considering he would have been out for the night after crying as hard as they had been. Just as he was ready to make the left turn that would take him back to his home, his phone rang, nearly making him jump out of his skin at how the ringer pierced the silence in the car.

He checked in the reflective mirror to make sure that the interruption hadn’t disturbed the baby’s sleep. Thankfully, it hadn’t and they were still sleeping soundly with their cheeks squished against the straps of the car seat and their blanket tucked snuggly around their body like a little burrito.

“Hello?”

“Haaaaaaaaaaaaaarry,” her voice bled through the speaker and into his ear. 

She was drunk. Almost certainly.

“Hiiiii, lovie,” Harry drew his voice out slightly to mimic hers.

“I didn’t think you’d be awake this late. Just wanted to check on you guysssss.”

He heads her huff loudly and some rustling in the background that sounded like sheets crumpling. She was most likely coming home from the club and getting ready for bed seeing as it was now well past three o'clock in the morning.

“We’re alright,” he decided to spare her the gruesome details about how their child had been screaming nonstop and not worry her pretty drunk head, “Wha’ about you? Ye’ havin’ fun?”

“Soooooo much fun,” she giggled before sighing, “But I miss you guys sooo much. I think I might come home tomorrow.”

“Why come home early if you’re havin’ soooooooo much fun?” Harry chuckled quietly into the phone.

 “Because I miss you and I miss the baby and the bed in my hotel room is cold and empty without you and it feels weird not waking up to breastfeed at 1 o'clock in the morning,” she rambled, “Wait, why are you whispering?”

The corners of Harry’s lips turned up when he realized she was saying the exact words he had been thinking earlier that evening about being miserable at night without her.

“The baby’s asleep in the backseat-”

“Backseat? You’re in the car?” her voice sobered up immediately.

“No, no. It’s not like that,” Harry did his best to quickly backtrack and reassure her that it was nothing bad that landed them on the road at half-past three, “Everything’s fine. Bubby wouldn’t stop cryin’ so mum told me to take em for a drive and see if it calmed them down. Worked pretty well. They were out before I even made it past the neighbor’s house. Turns out the Ferrari’s better for more than just looks.”

She scoffed on the other end, making Harry furrow his brows in confusion but quickly fade into a smile after she spoke.

“The Ferrari, huh? You never take me out in that thing anymore. Do you like bubs more than me now?” 

He couldn’t see her, but he knew for a fact she was dramatically pouting against the glass screen of her phone.

“Hey, tha’s not nice,” Harry chuckled softly, “Don’t make me pick favorites. It was the only key I could find. Think I accidentally washed the keys to the Audi last night. I’ve been so tired lately I can barely see straight.”

“Welcome to my world, bubby.”

She wasn’t trying to be snide or dismiss him, it was just her drunken mind speaking for itself and Harry knew that.

“Anywayyyys. You owe me a ride in the Ferrari when I get back.”

“Only if ye’ promise to stay away for the rest of the weekend like ya planned. I won’t let ye’ back in this house if you ditch ye’ friends for us.”

Harry’s eyes were getting droopy and he decided to finally head back to the garage to park the car and go back inside. 

“You guys are more important, though.”

Even though she was drunk, she was being honest and it warmed Harry’s heart. 

“We’ll be waiting right here for ye’, love. ‘S probably time for all of us t’ go t’ bed now, innit?”

“I guesssssss,” she groaned through a yawn.

Harry laughed once more at her innocence, “Take care of yourself for me, yeah? Wash your face and leave some water on the nightstand for in the morning.”

“Sure thing, daddy.” 

“Hey! Can’t be talkin’ like that when you’re not around. S’not fair.”

Harry was just messing with her, but there was some slight truth to his words.

“Alright! Alright,” she sleepily giggled, “I’ll save it for when I get back. ‘M gonna go to bed for real now. Give bubby a kiss for me.”

“I will. Love ye’.”

“Love you too, H.”

Harry hung up before her, knowing she’d fall asleep with her phone in her hand if he didn’t end the call first. He took one last look at the sleeping infant in his backseat before shutting off the whirring engine of the Ferrari that he’d just parked in his open garage. Just seeing the peacefulness that washed over their features and the way their lips turned out in a pout from having such chubby cheeks was enough for Harry to take back every hostile thought he’d had earlier tonight. 

Before he attempted the impossible mission of transferring his bub from car to crib without stirring them, he decided to snap a photo to send to Anne to let her know that her advice was greatly appreciated and that bub had taken to the engine sounds without a fight. He wasn’t sure what he’d do without his mother. Well, both his own mother and his baby’s mother. He owed them so much more than he could ever possibly give back to them, he thought to himself as he placed one last goodnight kiss on his child’s forehead before tiptoeing out of the nursery and into his bed to sleep peacefully and dream of two days from now when his love would be home and they could be a family together again.