#i feel like octopuses can already grab stuff pretty good. which makes this just a normal octopus. i like the punching one better

[front-facing-pokemon]

[canon-transgender-virgil]

Remus headcanons cuz he needs more love!

Only three people know about Remus's soap allergy: Janus, Virgil and Logan. Not even Roman knows about it. The others just assume Remus doesn't bathe for the aesthetic, not because it'll literally kill him if he tries to.

He picks and chews his nails to the point of bleeding

A common hc but he suffers from intrusive thoughts

He has an impeccable memory, moreso than Logan. He remembers stuff the Sides say that even they will forget they told him, especially the really mundane stuff.

Logan once told him he prefers his toast to be as close to burned as he can get without it being burned and covered in Crofters and Remus surprised the hell out of him by making him just that for breakfast two months later

Adding on to that

Remus LOVES to cook and is actually pretty good at it - despite popular belief he's the one who cooked for the Dark Sides

Howeverrrr

He isn't allowed to cook after an incident with Virgil's spider getting into a pot of spaghetti

Patton still has nightmares over it

He fidgets and stims.

Often

So much so that the others aren't even sure if he can sit still

If he doesn't have one of his fidget toys on his person he messes with the stuff on his outfit

Speaking of which

He LOVES his outfit

He made it by hand for himself when the Light Sides changed their outfits the first time so he could still outshine his brother.

And adding on to that

He's a great seamstress

Like the dude knows how to sew and knit and just create

Not necessarily "nice" things but they can be tamer if he's feeling better

This is already a headcanon but I love the idea of Remus's eyeshadow changing like Virgil's, but instead of sparkly purple it turns neon green

And it changes when he's feeling creative (a creative that's more productive for Thomas but if he's really passionate about something it'll turn green also)

He wears eyeshadow because, like Thomas, he often doesn't get enough sleep and has terrible bags under his eyes

Plus, Roman doesn't wear eyeshadow - just one more way of separating himself from his "perfect" twin

He loves science.

Like genuinely, like Logan.

He loves talking about chemical reactions and biology (not just that kind), and if someone gets him on a tangent they WILL have to sit through the whole thing

He has tentacles (ofc)

They act like third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth and tenth hands

They also literally have minds of their own (and I do mean literally, octopuses have a mini brain in each tentacle irl)

If they like you they'll just... Grab your arm and hold it. Not aggressively or roughly, they just hold it

Speaking of the octopus thing, Remus bleeds blue (ok ik it isn't canon cuz we saw his blood in WTIT but I still like to think this)

And glows in the dark. Not too brightly but if you're in a dark room with him you can almost clearly make out where he is

Now moving on to the rat aspect

I already made this a separate post but he does that thing where rats' eyes shake in their head when they're excited

The others thought this was terrifying until Janus explained what the hell was going on

He loves cheese but, like his brother, is extremely lactose intolerant

Like a rat, he's extremely intelligent!...

If given an incentive to be so

(this technically is canon since that last time we saw him be intelligent he was working under the incentive that Logan would see he was lying to himself)

He has the most "modern" taste in music of the Sides, followed closely by Roman and Virgil (who are tied for second)

He canonically listens to Taylor Swift and I can't imagine he doesn't listen to Brittney Spears or Doja Cat

I'll be adding on to this when I think of anything else but feel free to add your own!

[i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend]

Stardust and Starfish ~ Chris Beck x Reader

A/N: Hi my lovelies! I hope you’re all doing well in these crazy times. I hope you are staying safe and healthy.I apologize for the radio silence. I’ve had a lot going on, and I haven’t been able to really write anything. But I’m trying to chug along, and I’m focusing on finishing out my WIPs, so hopefully I’ll have more to share with you soon. 

Without any further ado, this is a fic for my Whippersnapper Daughter @captainscanadian​ ‘s CBC 1K Writing Challenge, which I was supposed to complete a million years ago, but I didn’t quite manage it. So here you are love, I hope you enjoy. This is my first time writing Chris Beck. I’ve never seen the Martian. I literally only know that he’s a fluffy space nerd (at least based on fics), so hopefully this is okay. 

Enjoy!

Prompt:  “Hey we kissed once in kindergarten but I haven’t seen you since and I couldn’t remember why you were so familiar.”

Rating: T 

Warnings: Language, I think that’s it. 

Word Count: 3251

Ahh graduation. A time of endings. A time of beginnings. A time for throwing caution out the window and kissing boy you’ve had a crush on all year.

You were clutching your diploma as you dodged around the other graduates looking for one classmate in particular. You finally spotted him munching on a handful of goldfish by the refreshment table.

“Hi, Rocket!”

“Hi, Bubbles!”

“Oh there you kids are. Come on. Get close. We need a picture.”

“Smile, Chris!” his dad coaxed before shuffling the two of you together.

“Big smiles!”

You each threw an arm around the other grinning wildly.

“Say, I’m ready for first grade.”

“I’m ready for first grade!” you both chorused.

“Well, we should get going. We’ll go get your stuff. Say goodbye to Chris, sweetie.”

“Okay, Mom!”

You hugged him tight.

“I just wanted to say that I really like you and I really like your book of stars.”

“Thanks! I really like your book about the ocean!” He grinned, blue eyes lighting up.

Before you could chicken out you leaned forward and pecked him on the lips like you’d seen your mom do with your dad whenever she said goodbye.

Chris squeaked in surprise and went rigid and red as a tomato. Before either of you could say anything your mom returned with your backpack.

“Y/n, honey, time to go.”

“Okay. Bye, Chris! Have fun at camp! See you next year.”

“See you,” he waved absent-mindedly, still wide-eyed.  

“Come on, we’re gonna be late,” your best friend whined as she waited for you to finish feeding your starfish.

“We’ll be fine. The talk doesn’t start until five.”

“It’s four-fifty.”

“Seriously? Shit okay. This is the last tank.”

You tossed in the mix of their food, scrubbed your hands before following AJ out of the lab.

You raced to the auditorium halfway across the campus, grateful for the reserved seats Casey had promised you. You looked around for the postdoc in question once you’d settled in, and you spotted her at the edge of the stage chatting with the distinguished speaker, Dr. Chris Beck.

“You’re staring,” AJ whispered. “Are you crushing on the guest speaker too?”

”He just seems really familiar,” you muttered back, squinting.  

“I mean he has been all over the news for the past few years.”

“No, it’s like I’ve met him before.”

“Maybe you saw him during your sting at Yale?”

“Maybe,” you shrugged.

You weren’t totally convinced but it made the most sense, even though you were pretty sure that your times didn’t overlap.

Before you could think too much more about it, the dean of the medical school started introducing him. Not that he needed it.

You, and nearly everyone else, were completely captivated by Dr. Beck. When it was announced at the end of the talk that Dr. Beck would be taking the equivalent of a sabbatical at the university and teaching a short seminar series starting in the Spring the excitement was palpable.

“I can’t believe astro-hottie is joining the faculty,” AJ giggled.

“I know right. That’s going to be fun.”

The crowd was slow to exit the auditorium, and you were surrounded by excited chatter.

“So do you want food first or should we try to score an intro?”

“Food. I’m sure he’ll be swarmed for a while. Besides, Casey is his host, I’m sure she’ll get us a chance to talk to him.”

“Perks of being friends with astrophysics postdocs.”

“True.”

After the formal dinner with the grad students and postdocs, Chris was enjoying himself so much that some of them continued the evening at a pub just down the road from the campus. He had been happily listening his company discuss some of his more interesting results when he happened to notice you walk in. You had changed into a short black dressed and donned a deep blue leather jacket against the cold.

Casey noticed his distraction and silently cheered. Clearly the newest faculty member was interested in her friend, and judging by your reaction to him at the reception you were interested as well, so she excused herself to join you at the bar.

“Hey, Case. How’s it going?” You greeted her.

“Good. Didn’t expect to see you two here tonight.”

“We were supposed to go to the new restaurant down the street, but they lost our reservation,” AJ explained.

“So, we decided to keep it low key,” you continued.  

“Gotcha. Well, do you want to join us?”

“Who’s us?”

“A few of the ones who went to dinner and Chris.”

She glanced over her shoulder and you and AJ followed her line of attention.

“Oh, so it’s Chris now?” you smirked, though it faltered when he caught your eye and smiled.

“He told us to. He’s really chill actually. You should come hang out,” she pressed.

“We’d love to,” AJ answered for you.

“Great. Grab your drinks and come over.”

She happily flounced back to the table, rejoining the conversation.

“AJ,” you hissed.

“What? Are you gonna tell me you don’t want to hang out with hunky space doctor you made goo goo eyes at all afternoon?”

“I did not make goo goo eyes at him.”

Your best friend rolled her eyes.  

“Yes you did. Y/n, come on. Live a little. It’s just a few beers with a bunch of grad students.”  

You looked at them, listening intently as he spoke. It looked more like a study group than anything which put you at ease.

“They’ve been talking for like five hours. I’m sure it will break up soon and then we can just hang out with Casey.”

“Okay. That sounds good.”

“Good,” she grinned before leaning on the bar to order your drinks.

You discretely checked out your hair in the mirror behind the bar and swiped on a bit of lip gloss.

“Don’t think I didn’t see that,” AJ smirked as she handed you your gin and tonic.

“Shush.”

You bumped your hip against hers as you made your way to the table.

There was a pause in the conversation as you approached.

“There you are. Come sit.”

AJ had already taken the one open seat next to James, the med student she had been crushing on, which left you to join Dr. Beck on the bench seat. He scooted over to give you more room when you sat down.  

“Thank you.”

“No problem,” he smiled shyly.

You momentarily got lost in his eyes.

“Did you three meet earlier?” Casey asked, breaking you out of the moment.

Heat clawed up your neck in embarrassment. Though you were relieved to see Dr. Beck seemed equally flustered. He cleared his throat twice as he bobbed his head in the affirmative.  

“Yes, Y/n and AJ right?”

“Yes. So, Dr. Beck, what were you all discussing?”

“First of all, please call me Chris. And second, we were discussing my research on the effect of zero gravity on muscle development.”

“Fascinating.”

You were easily caught up in the conversation as he explained his results and discussed data sets. His passion for research seemed to pour out of him. The discussion was lively, although you found yourself dominating the conversation. It contrasted nicely with your own research on technology for deep sea research. You were so invested that you didn’t notice the others leaving. At least not until they rang the bell for final call and you actually paid attention to your surroundings.

“Umm, when did everyone leave?”

Chris looked as confused as you were.

“I have no idea. I guess I am boring. I hope they don’t do that when I start lecturing next semester,” he chuckled.

“I’m sure they won’t. You’re an excellent presenter. Probably they got tired of me monopolizing you. Sorry about that,” you sighed as you played with a straw wrapper.

“Please don’t apologize. I was actually hoping to get a chance to talk to you.”

“Really?”

You wanted to smack yourself for the hopeful tone.

“Yes. I was disappointed when you left the reception early.”

“Oh, well, one of the octopuses next door escaped and that’s no good for anyone in the department.”

“I can imagine.” He smiled crookedly as the few patrons remaining started to pay their tabs.

“I guess we should go,” you pointed out reluctantly.

“Yeah. We should,” he agreed.

You both closed out and exited the bar.

“So, do you want to split an Uber?” he offered.

“I don’t live far. I was actually going to walk it.”

Chris looked appalled.

“It’s three in the morning.”

“I’ve done it before,” you argued.

He appraised you closely, trying to determine how stubborn you were. The conclusion… very.

“Can I at least walk you back then?”

“You don’t have to,” you assured him.

“I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight if I don’t know you made it home safely. Please?”

He pouted at you. Who could resist those blue eyes?

“You really don’t…”  

“I want to,” he admitted. “I uhh I’m not quite ready for the night to be over.”

Your answering smile was wide.

“In that case, I could use the company.”

“Excellent. Lead the way,” he offers you his elbow.

You looped your arm through his and started walking back towards your apartment.

You made the five minute walk in companionable silence. The feeling of familiarity had deepened over the course of the evening and you felt like you were walking with an old friend.

“Well, this is me,” you sighed, not ready to say good night.

“It was really nice getting to spend time with you, Y/n.”

“You too.”

“I know it’s late, and I’m sure that you want to get to bed, but would you mind terribly if I waited inside for my uber. I’m not sure how long it will be to get someone willing to go all the way to Hartford.”

“They have you staying in Hartford while you’re here?”

“They offered me a hotel room in New Haven, but I opted to stay with my folks. Wasn’t planning on closing down a bar after my talk,” he smirked.

You debated for a moment.

“I have a guest room. You are welcome to stay if you like. I have to go to Hartford tomorrow, so I could drive you back if you want.”

“I don’t want to impose.”

“You’re not. I promise. You’re never going to get an uber that far this late.”

“If you really don’t mind. That would be great.”

“Come on in.”

You unlocked the door and flipped on the lights, leaning on the edge of the couch to take off your boots.

“Are you hungry or thirsty?”

Before he could respond, your stomach growled for an embarrassingly long time. He bit back laughter.

“Well apparently I am.”

You looked at your stomach as if it were a traitor.

“I could eat.”

“Alright, let’s see what I have. It’s been a while since I went food shopping.”

Chris smiled as he took in the warm surroundings, and he found himself drawn to the art on the walls next to your desk. He could hear you rummaging around in your refrigerator while he tried to figure out why he recognized the image.

“So I threw in a frozen pizza and I’ve got Oreos.”

You shook the pack at him as you planted yourself on the couch.

“Excellent.” He grinned, joining you on the couch and taking a cookie. “That print is amazing. Where did you get it?”

“It’s figure 3A in my Nature paper. I had it blown up when it made the cover.”

“That’s why I recognize it. That was an excellent paper.”

“Thank you. It certainly has been a highlight of my career so far.”

“So what drew you to marine biology?”

“I was obsessed with the ocean as a kid. And adventure books. I wanted so desperately to explore the part of our world that’s so vast and unknown. I wanted to work on a submarine or at least at sea.”

“So how did you end up in a lab on land?”

“I did a semester at sea which was amazing but permanent spots on research ships and subs are few and far between. But I am also working with the engineering department on deep sea equipment.”

“Hence your expertise in muscle mass in high pressure.”

“Precisely.”

You chewed on an Oreo thoughtfully as you regarded him.

“So, why did you become a space doctor? It’s not the most traditional job in the world,” you mused.

“I suppose it isn’t. Well I wanted to be astronaut first. Like you, I was obsessed with space from really early on. But as I got older I grew to love physiology and anatomy over engineering for example. For a little while, I thought I’d have to give up my dream. And then I realized they had flight surgeons.” He smiled at the memory. “So I worked my butt off and ended up actually going into space.”

Chris shifted leaning his head back and looking up as if he could see the stars through your ceiling. You propped your head in your hand as you leaned on the back of the couch.

“Is it surreal being back on earth?”

“That’s a good word for it.” He let his head loll to the side to look at you. “I’m glad to be home, but it’s so strange. Sometimes I spend all day in my room because I forget I can leave. And noises of the city – that’s trippy after months in space.”

“I bet.”  

Your conversation flowed easily as you scarfed down the pizza. The sun came up and you were still talking.

You’re not sure how or when, but you must have fallen asleep talking, because you woke up tucked under a blanket on your couch to the smell of pancakes.

“Good morning,” Chris called, when he saw your head pop up.  

“Morning. What time is it?” you asked, rubbing at your eyes.

“A little after eleven.”

“How long have you been up?”

“Since around eight.”

You stopped mid-stretch to stare at him.

“We didn’t fall asleep until like 5.”

“I’m still used to really short sleeping shifts. I hope you don’t mind. I made breakfast.”

“I do not mind at all.”

After washing up and changing into some fresh clothes, you enjoyed breakfast together.

“So what do you have to do in Hartford?” he asked, taking the clean plate from your hands to dry it.

“Going to visit my sister and my favorite baby nephew.”

“Aww. How old is he?”

“Four. So not actually a baby, but…”

“I get it. What time do you need to leave?”

“Around one.” You shrugged. “We’ve got time.”

“Thank you for letting me stay. Last night was wonderful,” he added, quietly.

“Yes, it was.”

“This might sound strange, but I feel like I’ve met you before.”

You froze, water spilling off the plate.

“Sorry, that was weird,” he mumbled quickly avoiding eye contact.

“No. No, it’s not that.” You dropped the plate into the sink and turned off the water. “I thought the same thing when I saw you.”

“Oh thank god.”

“AJ was convinced it was just because I’d seen you on the news. But if you feel it too…”

“But where we would have crossed paths?”

He crossed his arms as he considered it.

You spent the next twenty minutes trying and failing to find a single place you might have run into each other.

“Junior Leadership Conference?”

“In D.C. in 2014?”

“Yeah.”

You racked your brain.

“It must be that, right?”

“I can’t think of anywhere else.”

“Huh.”

You both watched each other, not quite believing it, but also unable to come up with a better answer. You let it stand as you got ready to drive to Hartford.

“Do you mind grabbing the books off the front table?” You grabbed your keys and your bag. “I don’t want to forget them.”

“Sure thing.”

He shuffled through the pile of children’s books, smiling when he came across the National Geographic First Big Book of the Ocean as you walked to your car.

“Oh these books were awesome.”

“Which one?”

“Big book of the ocean.” He held it up for you to see. ”I had all of them, but the space one was my favorite when I was a kid.”

“I’m shocked,” you deadpanned as you started the car.

He mock glared at you.

“No but seriously, I took the space one with me everywhere. I was obsessed. In kindergarten, the other kids started calling me-“

“Rocket,” you murmured.

“Good guess.”

“Not a guess. I know how we know each other,” You announced, desperate to look at him, but keeping your eyes straight ahead. “You went to Aldrin Elementary for Kindergarten didn’t you.”

“Yeah. Wait,” He looked at the book in his hands before opening to the back cover.

“Rocket and Bubbles,” he hummed, running his fingers over the crayon scrawl. “I can’t believe it. It’s you.”

You glanced at him at a stoplight. He had a fond look in his eyes.

“I knew you were familiar. But I don’t remember your name being Chris. Even before we started calling you Rocket.”

He bit his lip rocking slightly in embarrassment.

“I convinced my mom to let me go by my middle name Richard, which I made into Ricky, because there were four other Chris’ in our class.”

“Oh my god. That’s right. You were Ricky the Rocket. We thought we were so funny.”

Neither of you could contain your smiles.

“What happened? Why did you leave?”

“My dad had to move to Boston for his job. We didn’t find out until like a week before school.”

“I thought about you for the longest time. I was so bummed when you didn’t come back.”

“I was too. I cried all the way to Boston.”

“And now, all these years later.”

“Together again.”  

You reached over and took his hand, and he twined your fingers.

You were both quiet for the rest of the ride, lost in thought. You only spoke to ask directions to his parent’s place, which you remembered quite well.

“Can I take you to dinner sometime?”

“I would love that. Tomorrow night?”

“I’ll be there with bells on.”

You bit your lip as you both hesitated, before you leaned across the armrest and kissed him. His eyes went wide and his cheeks turned pink, and you suddenly didn’t know how you ever failed to recognize him.

“You looked the same way the first time I kissed you,” you giggled.

“Not my fault you keep surprising me.”

“You’re cute when you’re mmf.”

You were cut off by his lips on yours. The kiss was passionate and you felt yourself melting into it as his hand cradled the back of your head.  

“You were saying…” he smirked at you when you both pulled back panting.  

You started to respond when you looked over his shoulder.

“That your mom totally just saw us making out in my car.”

He glanced over his shoulder before letting his head drop in embarrassment when his shocked mother turned on her heel and hurried into the house with her groceries.  

“On that note. Six o’clock tomorrow?”

“You’re on, Rocket.”

“See you, Bubbles.”

He pecked you once more on the lips before getting out of the car, whistling his way up the walk.

You smiled to yourself as he waved from the porch and you drove off.

This was going to be an adventure. Your biggest yet.  

A/N: Yeah, so this ended up very differenlty from how I planned, but I hope you all enjoyed! I had fun writing Chris Beck. Congrats again on the milestone that was like 3 milestones ago lol. Love you @captainscanadian​

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[nomoregoldfish]

Imagine Pacho Sends You as a Gift to (Spy on) Amado 2/3

This is getting out of hand again, smh. (Not really) Warning: everyone loves Pacho. Un-betaed, I’ll post the entire thing on AO3 later. For now, you can find part 1 here.

Amado is occupied with all sorts of business affairs after you land in DF, leaving you to his younger brother Vicente. You quickly learn Vicente is in charge of security of all cartel business, that's something, you assume.

When asked why you don't go to Juárez directly, Vicente tells you Amado has several meetings with some important figures in DF. You have to figure out a way to infiltrate the plaza to learn more about Amado, staying at a luxury apartment owned by the narcos won't get you anything useful.

"She's crazy!" Vicente's whining when Amado finally shows up late that night, "She woke up at 5 in the morning for a fucking jog and dragged my ass to a wet market before it even opened. And that's not the end of it, she bought so much fish and my car still smells like a stinky fish tank right now."

Vicente is a bit exaggerating but you do have a fruitful trip to the local market. 

"Yet you finished everything she cooked." Amado points at the empty plates on the dining table, not annoyed at all.

"Do you have some leftovers?" The tall Mexican turns to you. Vicente interrupts, "No, we ate all salmon sashimi because Ryoko said salmon has to be served as fresh as possible, and I ate all wasabi. Oh man, that shit is hotter than serrano peppers. But don't worry, we have a lot of more fish in the jacuzzi." Right, it comes handy to have more than one bathtub in the luxury apartment.

Finally Amado sends away his bratty little brother. Then it's just the two of you. 

"I've got something for you." You remember to smile, which seems to work fine as Amado approaches. "All done?" He asks, you haven't figured it out what he's asking about, the dishes? Yes. Then the Mexican lowers your ponytail, running his fingers through your hair. 

"You don't wanna hair in your grilled pacific saury." You joke, bringing him another set of hot meal you specifically make for him.

"Tell me more about it." Amado takes a large bite, looking satisfied and more relaxed.

You two are chatting over some mezcal and a plate of edamame afterwards. Amado asks about your day, and trades some anecdotes about Vicente when you tentatively ask about his. The fucker is smart and vigilant. 

"I have to tell you something," Okay, you get his full attention, "The bluefin tuna you ate three days ago wasn't served in the best condition. Pacho wanted a show, everything grand and pretty, so I had to cut the red part of the fish and make a bright-colored akami plate right away. It's meaty and chewy, which should have been aged for three days in the fridge to allow the texture to soften and release more flavor," You opens the fridge, showing Amado several chunks of tuna you already cut out, "You can have friends over in three days, I bought enough for a full table."

"What about the pink ones?" He seems genuinely interested. You continue to explain that different parts of tuna offer variable tastes from super fatty pink otoro around the head and collar to chutoro, mixture of fat and meat from the back and belly.

To your surprise, Amado asks for a slice of the fat part, "You said it's the most expensive one. I shouldn't waste your hard-earned money, right?" Both of you laugh.

You take a really fat cut. When you're looking for a plate and the soy sauce, Amado just eats it from your hand. Your fingers are freezing from the tuna and when he swallows them with the slice, the hot and soft sensation around fucking turns you on like nothing else. The sashimi-hater even licks your fingers a few more times, "to clean the fat."

As he claimed, "It's better."

"Now you're gonna show me how you destroy my jacuzzi on day one."

You feel great sitting by the edge of the jacuzzi a.k.a. your temporary fish tank and checking out all the aquatic animals you bought earlier.

"It could've been us in it." What a tease. You laugh then get up, "I don't think it's a good idea to get naked with lobsters and octopuses." 

"Wait," Amado turns you around, still sitting by the edge, "Let me make it up for you."

When Amado decides to give you a head, you simply don't say no. It's like sitting on his face because you can barely stand still. He notices then pulls you closer. The lips used to wrap around your fingers now make you feel like in heaven, and God bless his fucking tongue. The Mexican is driving you mad.

"Shh, you wake up the octopus." You're at the tipping point and the fucker pauses. You open your eyes, an octopus is on the move, two tentacles approaching the edge of the jacuzzi, sucker rings very close to your bare legs.

Then imagine Amado gets up and pushes you up against the tiles in the shower, silencing you with a rough kiss. You taste yourself, and something raw, could be the tuna or the cigarettes he smokes. You get even more aroused by that. 

You're desperate for more of his touch. So you grab his big hand and put it between your thighs, and he's willing to comply. 

This is too much. You cum just after a few rubs against him.  

"I'm sorry for the other night. You're a genius." Amado's playing dirty, sweet-talking while he continues to rub against your oversensitive part, "Would you do me favor? I'm thinking about hosting a few guests, somewhere private, the tuna will be ready by Friday, right?"

You can't believe he falls for the trick. This could be an important business meeting and you're gonna be there.

"Sure. Can I ask something in return?" You already come to your senses while giving Amado a painfully slow handjob.

"Anything you want. Flowers? Jewelry? Cars? I have some better collections than Pacho's Corvette C4. Too flashy." Amado offers generously.

You can't help laughing, "Gosh, how could men make everything a dick comparison contest?"

"You saw his dick?" Amado bites your lower lips. He's rock hard, throbbing.

"I thought you did, too. You two seem very close. I mean, Pacho is a gorgeous man." You keep going, and teasing. You enjoy the fact that you just plant something really dirty in Amado's head. You bet he's having an imaginary threesome with you and Pacho. Not a bad idea though.

By the time you make him come, the Mexican almost forgets what you're asking.

"I ask 'Do you have some dumbbells?' I need my daily training and I don't have time to find a new gym here. What? How do you think I'm able to handle a 150lbs tuna in a line of work mostly for men?" You give Amado a little squeeze before licking it off.

You have a dream that night, being penetrated by Amado in some warm water while a giant octopus sucks you off. You wake up with wetness down there.

You visit several Japanese restaurants in town, unsurprisingly boring. You get the idea that local middle-class see Japanese cuisine as an exotic and cultural novelty. 

You even invite Amado to have lunch at one of those restaurants during his break. He frowns at the food after the first bite, "You can't do this to me."

What? "Asking me to eat this crap is inhumane. I'm spoiled." Amado makes it sound like you're the bad guy, but these smiling eyes give him away. He looks at you the way that makes you feel wanted.

You two end up eating cheap Mexican street food and that's where you find some early blossoms of jacarandas with excitement.

"You want those?" Amado asks, picking up some dried petals from the street. All you can think of is jacarandas flower could be an interesting alternative to sakura, which adds a domestic touch to the food you're gonna prepare for Friday. 

"Yes, please." Amado must find it weird but he just nods.

Once being brought to the outskirt location of the private meeting, you spend more time making rearrangement of the decor, trying to create an authentic Japanese ryotei experience. 

You call Amado once for extra resources. It's tricky because you don't know if you're in a position to ask anything when he's away, busy.

"I'm glad you called. I may not be an Asian culture fanatic like Pacho but I promise you will have anything you want. Whatever rare shit he's bought you, just name it. I'll have an entire Boeing 727 team ready to fly it in from every fucking corner of the world." Yeah, the dick measuring thing is still going on. 

What you don't mention is that you're also glad to hear his voice. "Will you come over?" You almost let it slip, "I mean, to see if you like everything."

"No. I trust you," Amado pauses, "I'll be an hour early."

"Mind the traffic." Bright laughter breaks from the other end of the line.

And thanks to the highly efficient Carrillo Air Express, stuff you request is brought to you the next day including a whole box of violet jacarandas petals.

You ask for a guest list before starting to set the table. "Just set tables for eight people." Vicente clearly has no idea of being a host. You explain that it's part of your job to make sure no one is allergic to seafood. "How the fuck do I know that?" The young man is still complaining.

"Don't worry. Give me a list. I'll look for their office numbers, call their secretaries and find out."

Vicente is easily convinced. You get what you want, a list of high-up politicians and business executives. Not sure how this is relevant but you memorize the names and companies anyway.

Amado makes his arrival almost cinematic. With a chopper still swirling outside, the man in black steps out from the driving seat on the right and waves to you like a king. 

"You're early." You can hide your smile this time.

"Because someone suggested I should 'mind the traffic.' It happens I've owned a few choppers." The fucker looks like a dashing pilot out Hollywood movies. 

You joke that he's nothing like what Pacho used to say, "Low-profile my ass." 

"Oh, Pacho talks about me?"

"Stop. I'm really not interested in which one of you has a bigger dick."

Later Amado hands you a wrapped frame. "I heard you're looking for some Japanese art for decoration. I don't know anything about art but..."

You can't believe he brings you a shunga, tradition Japanese erotic painting, depicting a giant octopus performing oral on a woman with pink tentacles all over her naked body. "You're ridiculous." You frown, it's too explicit you're not sure if it's appropriate for such an occasion.

"I saw something similar at Pacho's house. Well, minus the woman. Just boys." The cheeky bastard winks at you, "You're also serving octopus sashimi tonight? It's a fit then." That's how a print of the famous Octopus and Girl Diver ends up in the main room.

Dinner starts at 8 and everything is ready. You're asked to briefly introduce each dish to the guests when one's presented. Guests praise everything from the chopstick rest made of porcelain with traditional Mexican patterns, to the floral-shaped bream sashimi slices. The tuna sushi is a hit, everyone loves it. You give Amado a knowing smirk when you catch him taking a few himself. The octopus sashimi is a bit tricky but the guests are so "polite", they still pretend to enjoy the exotic food. 

The rest of the time you stay outside the room. You hear things but not in a coherent manner. Amado mentions NAFTA, export-oriented furniture and auto parts factories in Juárez, and two of them are head of the biggest tequila exporters of the country. Nothing makes sense for the drug business. Is the most successful Mexican drug trafficker gonna shift to other legitimate businesses? That might have an impact on Pacho's business.

When dessert is brought to the table, everyone wows — the improvised jacarandas mochi with dried petals is a nice surprise to end the dinner. You tell them the story that instead of the much-anticipated sakura which wasn't well-adjusted to the Mexican weather, how jacarandas was introduced to Mexico City by a Japanese gardener in the 1930s. All the guests finish their plates while giving you a few nods.

Amado seems very pleased with everything you've done. He lowers his voice to ask you to wait for him afterwards.

"Where are we going?" You ask through the headphones. Seems Amado is flying you back to downtown DF.

The Mexican smirks, "To the sky."

You finally land atop the roof of a skyscraper, "This is the tallest building in Mexico." Amado holds you tight when you exit the chopper. The wind at night in early January is insane, let alone you're 700ft above the ground.

It must be some five-star hotel but turns out it's an office building of Pemex, Mexico's state-owned oil company. WTAF? "Put it this way, the biggest exporters of the country hang out sometimes." Amado's sense of humor is something you didn't expect, "Well, I'm not saying they bring as many unattached US dollars as I do, not even close."

When you let the fact sink in — that the Juárez cartel probably earns twice as much as the biggest oil company in the country through exporting "goods," having access to a secret suite on the top floor of the Pemex Tower is not surprising at all.

"You bring people here often?" You ask when Amado pops a bottle of wine. The city view from the 54th floor is stunning.

"I didn't know you're the jealous type." He brings you a glass. You two stand in front the giant window, raising your glasses like you're celebrating. 

"You haven't asked what we're celebrating." Amado takes a step closer.

You put index finger on his lips, which are incredibly soft. Immediately remind you last time you kissed, "I don't want to get myself killed in a foreign country."

"Did Pacho teach you that? Not asking questions, just do your thing." Amado starts kissing your hand.

"Oh, my God. You're so obsessed with him, and it's kinda cute."

"Nonsense." The Mexican disagrees, and turns to the window. 

You sets both of your glasses aside, then leads Amado to the bed. You get undressed first, lying on the bed, waiting.

"You're sure this is something you want?" You ask, completely stripped. Amado stares at your flat-chested body like the first time he found out who you are. 

"You make it sound like I haven't sleep with supermodels. That funny?" The fucker tickles you, "You have no idea..."

Imagine Amado makes you feel adored, marking every inch of your body with his big hands and soft lips. He takes time, mapping your body till he finds the most sensitive spots and makes you moan, shivering.

"Let me warm you up." Amado probably thinks you're cold, so he spoons you. The long limbs of his are like tentacles wrapped around you, fuck, you can feel his erection grinding against you.

You're so wet for Amado. When he finally pushes in from behind, neither of you can resist the sensation.

"Wanted to do this to you the whole week. You're such a fucking tease, aren't you? Dropped at my door in that kimono robe then left without letting me even touch you." Amado pounds into you, with hand reaching your little bean from behind, making you a total mess.

 "Why didn't you make me stay then?" You're nearly breathless, "Is it...because it's within Pacho's territory?" You obviously cross some line with that. The thrusts become harder, feels like Amado is gonna fuck you senseless.

You're not sure if Pacho wants to know you are talking about him when you reach orgasm. 

You decide to leave it out before you pass out.