#i got a print from there in 2017 specifically to hang over my desk in toronto and miss edmonton

[bree4]

I Know Who Killed me Chapter 1

it was Monday October 30, 2017 a day before Charlie Summers would meet his Demise. the air was crisp the leaves orange, the perfect setting. fourteen year old Charlie has nothing to worry about other than THE night of the year where we only care about being a skeleton or a superhero and even though he was way too old to still be trick or treating it was a tradition he and his four close friends had every single halloween. But this Year would be different.....

Three out of four Best Friends would go home and one would be murdered. on Wednesday November 1, 2017, the town of Anoka will be asking who killed Charlie Summers?

there's an alarm sounding on the dresser next to Charlie's bed he's tired but he knows he needs to wake up now or his mother will be aggravated. groaning he grabs his phone it's second hand iPhone 4 that he got from his cousin for his fourteenth birthday, the screen is cracked but you can still see the wallpaper , it's a picture of Charlie and his three best friends: Liam, Olivia, and Ethan who was grade a head of them. 

Mondays were always such shit days but not this week, this Monday meant they were only a day away from Halloween which is the best day of the year, incase you don't know. he jumped out of bed and started to get ready.

Getting ready Charlie grabs his MacBook laptop and starts youtube he's currently watching youtube art hoe look books and you-tubers who vlog their lives living in London or new york, two places he hope to live one day. but he's bored and can't focus so he goes to Spotify to find a fall playlist specifically a halloween play list, hits play than jumps in the shower. 

his closet consists of Levi 501s bright wind breakers and vans that range from classic black to his most worn pair, a checkered print with a rose embroidered on the side. he grabs his pumpkin spice lotion he recently bought at bath and body works shopping with his mom and sisters. he knows it's girly but he's never been one for masculinity. grabbing a yellow top and a pair of Levi's he tucks in the shirt grabs a black belt and rolls the cuffs of the jeans to show his nike socks, and finally grabbing a purple and green windbreaker and his checkered vans he's ready for school. his yellow kanken bag is hanging on the chair of his desk ready to pick up on his way out.

downstairs his mom is cooking breakfast but he doesn't eat much as of recently, he gained a couple pounds over the summer and is now self conscious. his mom has a iced coffee ready for him, he sips it and grabs a banana on his way out, but he throws it in the dumpster as he walks down the drive way. the cold of a 7 am morning in the fall hits his face and it's a feeling he will never forget.

"Charlie?" a familiar voice shouts from across the street it's Liam who lives a block over from the Summers, he's wearing a white oversized sweater and baggy 'mom jeans' with dark green converse and of course he's wearing a Kanken bag as well,  matter of fact almost everyone at Anoka Middle are.

not surprised a art school is obsessed with The Art Hoe Aesthetic, a term that started in 2015 from a poc creator on Tumblr. 

the boys ride the same bus together and a few stops away Olivia and Ethan get on they live next door to each other. and they are the other two of this core four friend group. Ethan is a grade higher than them but they all still hang out together. the bus ride is about a ten minute ride to Anoka Middle outside is a colourful pallet of orange, red, and yellow. everyone here clearly uses tumblr and watches you tubers like OkaySage and Haley Morales; my favourite is Eris the Planet, and Shane Dawson specifically his Conspiracy Videos. 

the bell rings and everyone rushes  inside to make sure we aren't late for first period.

[battle-of-alberta]

that’s right alberta its one of the premiere events of the summer!! so come on down to whyte ave, did i mention the japanese souffle pancake franchise fuwa fuwa just opened?

[cosplaytutorial]

My World Cosplay Summit 2017 Adventure: First Stage and OSU Cosplay Parade

The World Cosplay Summit is a series of events that take place over a week, culminating in the stage competition that determines the winning team. There are two stage events. The first stage is all the competing countries performing their skits, followed by a concert and the winners of minor prizes. The next day is the second stage, where only the top countries compete. This is also followed by a concert and then they announce the winners. The other events are photoshoot parties and hangouts for people to dress up in cosplay, some events are ticketed and others are not.

Visiting the WCS was only one part of our vacation, so I decided to only attend two events: The World Cosplay Summit first stage and the OSU cosplay parade. This post will detail those events.

FIRST STAGE

We spent the morning at the Nagoya Science Museum, but if I were to go back and do it again I would definitely head down to the event area earlier. On the way to the Aichi Arts Center we passed Oasis 21 where it seemed the real party was happening. So many cosplayers were hanging out and taking pictures! There was also booths set up downstairs by a stage with a huge screen. If you don't have a ticket to the show, there is still a lot to see and do in the area.

Cosplay

For this event I dressed up as Lucoa from Dragon Maid. I chose to cosplay her because of how cool and casual the outfit was; I was able to wear most of it during the day and avoided having to find a changing room. I carried the hat and wig in my backpack, it was easy to pull them out and throw them on at the event. If you want to wear something more elaborate you'll need to change in the area, I detail how to get a changing room ticket in the OSU Cosplay Parade section below.

Navigation

When we first got to the Aichi Arts center it was a little difficult to find where we were supposed to go. There wasn’t any WCS signage that stood out. It was the uniformed people standing in front of some large doors that signaled that we were in the right place. There was an information/ticket desk near the doors as well. It didn't seem like the Aichi Arts Centre was very large, so it should be easy for you to navigate.

Tickets

I bought the First Stage tickets through Ticket Pia, through a link posted on the WCS website. These tickets are digital and need to be displayed on the Ticket Pia app. We were directed to show them at the ticket desk. They checked the digital tickets and then presented us with the printed tickets. These were used at the large doors to enter.

Inside

Going in we got a brochure and a sheet of shiny tattoos. We were then brought in and shown to our seats by one of the staff members. We were a little late to the show but the venue wasn't too large so we had a pretty good view of the stage. I was expecting there to be way more people inside watching the event, but it was surprisingly bare. Especially when compared to the mass of people outside and something like 70,000 people watching the NicoNico livestream.

Performances

The performances were awesome to see live! All the costumes are gorgeous and all the performances were incredibly impressive. The teams were grouped into three blocks. They would run through the performances of each block and then we were given a short break to use the washroom and stretch our legs. I lucked out and got to sit near some fellow Canadians, who were also there to support Team Canada. During one of the breaks we had a chat and they hooked me up with a WCS Canada and Fellowsheep Cosplay pin.

After all the performances, while the judges make their decision, it switches to a concert. It felt like an instant transition! It got dark and a bunch of people in the audience stood up and broke out their light sticks! If you plan to stick through the concert, come prepared.

Outside

During the concert, the boyfriend and I decided to check out what was going on in the area. In the lobby of the Aichi Art Center they were selling band and WCS merchandise. Outside, it had gotten dark but the cosplayers were still going. It had the feeling of a casual convention or cosplay hangout. A bunch of cosplayers hanging out, talking, getting their pictures taken, shopping in the nearby stores and just having a good time. For me, it felt really familiar; I loved it.

WCS First Stage Tips:

If you pre-purchased tickets online, download the app and have your tickets ready before entering.

Go down early, there is a lot going on!

You don’t have to buy a ticket if you just want to hang out in cosplay, but you get a great view of the stage if you do.

If you bought a ticket, be prepared for *party mode* and bring a lightstick for the concert.

If you don't have a plain-clothes cosplay you'll need a changing room ticket to get dressed for the event.

If you want to take pictures, be prepared for bright sun during the day and low light at night. You may want an external flash.

OSU Cosplay Parade

The day after the first stage was the OSU shopping arcade parade and a new experience for me: getting a changing room ticket and getting dressed at the event.

After grabbing breakfast at the hotel, we headed out to find a Family Mart.  It is really easy to find convenience stores in Japan, or at least in the cities we were in, because they are EVERYWHERE. They are also really convenient, selling food, snacks, umbrellas, sunscreen, backup shirts and just about anything you might need. Some also have terminals where you can buy event tickets, and that is what we were looking for.

Buying a Changing Room Ticket

Using the terminal was intimidating. I can pick out the odd hiragana or katakana character but my boyfriend and I really can’t read Japanese. We got to this point by using google translate and guessing based off limited English, and luckily the terminals in the subway for purchasing tickets had an English language button. The terminal at family mart did not.  Luckily google was able to save us again and  I found a guide online here: http://eplus.jp/sys/web/yo-gaku/yo-fm/index.html. We had trouble typing in what we were searching for so we pulled up a list of events, and looked for the name of the venue. Among the Japanese characters, X-HALL stood out. The next issue was when it asked for a phone number, since it didn’t accept either of our phone numbers. We ended up using the phone number of the hotel, so make sure you have the number for your hotel or airBnB handy. Once you’re finished a receipt will print out. You show this to the cashier at the front, pay for your ticket and receive your printed ticket in an envelope.

The Changing Room

The next mission was changing into costume. I chose the X-HALL changing room because it was closest to the OSU Shopping Street, and was a reasonable ticket price. When I got to the location I just had to present the ticket. They ripped up the larger part and gave me the smaller tab to hold onto for re-entry. Then they directed me to their changing room.

It wasn’t quite what I expected. It was a large room, similar to my experience with green rooms behind a stage, and didn’t have any mirrors, dividers or seats. There were a lot of cosplayers getting ready in the room, mostly just sitting on the floor and using their luggage to hold mirrors and wigs. I am so glad I had my leggings on under my jeans because I would have found it super awkward to try to get them on in front of everyone while sitting on the floor!  The rest of my costume was packed in a box that fit in my backpack, so I pulled that out and got changed quickly. I didn’t have much issue getting the costume on, I planned for it to be easy to put on but I didn’t expect the room to be mirrorless and I didn’t know if my wig was on properly. I ended up asking a random girl if I could use her mirror and she let me, so thank you random girl!

Changing Room Tips:

There may be no mirrors (and no phones allowed) so you’ll want to pack your own.

There may be no seats

There are people and there may not be dividers

Change rooms are divided by male and female, so if you have a complicated costume you will need someone who can go into the change room with you to help put it on

There weren’t lockers in the change rooms, you will likely have to carry your clothes with you after changing

There isn’t any fix-it station or water, it is just a change room not really a lounge (but some people were just chilling there.)

Changed and ready to go, I meet back up with Kevin and we try to find where the parade starts in the Shopping District. There were a lot of people around and a lot of cosplayers sprinkled throughout the crowd. Unfortunately there was no signage for the WCS and we couldn’t really figure out where the parade was supposed to begin, especially since cosplayers were wandering freely and didn’t seem to be meeting up in a specific place. Luckily the parade found us. We crossed the street and noticed a bunch of people were standing along the sides of the road with cameras and thought we were getting closer. Then I heard the sound of the marching band leading the event and we got stuck standing along the side. It ended up being a pretty great view!

The parade looked similar to the Zombie Walks I’ve been a part of: the cosplayers moved slowly and stopped to pose for pictures before moving on.  Once the parade had finished I followed the parade and crowd to the Osu Kannon Temple where it finished, and they were handing out cold tea. From there, we shopped and explored the area. The temple was a really cool photo shoot spot and there were food tents and a stage with performers. Cosplayers roamed around and were happy to pose for photos!

[houseofvans]

SKETCHY BEHAVIORS | Jennifer Parks (Portland, OR)

We’ve been following the magical and mystical artwork of Portland artist Jennifer Parks whose drawings of witches, women, and woodland creatures bring a dark delight to our sensibilities.  Not only does Jennifer create these fantastical illustrations and ceramics, but also helps to curate and organize shows at the artist run space, Pony Club in Portland.  We’re excited to feature Jennifer’s art and talk to her about her influences, artistic process, and find out more what she’s up too in the rest of 2017! 

Artist portrait by Richard Darbonne | Images courtesy of the artist

Who are you and what do you do?  

My name is Jennifer Parks and I make drawings and ceramic things. I’m also a gallery owner, cat mama, part-time bartender, and believer of ghosts and magic.

When did you first come across art or find yourself making stuff? What it something your parents encouraged or were you always a doodler type of person?

I was always a doodler. I started drawing as soon as I could pick up a crayon. I think pre-school was when I realized I was sort of good at it and started to get encouragement from my parents and other adults.

Did you go to art school or take classes for illustration? What’s your art background?

I took art classes in high school, and junior college and that led me to the Pacific Northwest College of Art here in Portland. I majored in illustration with a focus on storytelling.

Your artwork has a distinct flavor to it that we love–not only is it filled with fauna, nature, but a female character often surrounded by magical and mystical elements.  Can you tell us a little bit about how your illustration and artwork reached this point?  

It was a natural evolution I think. I learned to draw girls by drawing my mother’s porcelain doll collection. She had a lot of these dolls which were pretty but also kind of creepy. They all had on fancy victorian dresses with lace and floral patterns. I think that led to my interest in old black and white victorian photos which then led to my interest that dark era of witchcraft, seances, and ghosts.

Ive always had a fascination with death and the idea that its not the end, so it just felt natural to start adding those elements to my drawings. Plus, at some point I got tired of people telling me my drawings were “pretty’ and “cute”. Adding some dark and mysterious elements to them made me feel more comfortable.

When I moved to the Pacific Northwest about 13 years ago, which is just surrounded by lush wilderness, I started including those elements as well. I think its hard to live here and not be inspired by our surroundings. They are pretty magical.

What inspires the imagery and symbolism that we find throughout your illustrations?  

I am totally fascinated by death, the afterlife, and anything supernatural. Ghosts, aliens, magic, etc.  I think there are so many things around us that we can’t see and I like to include some of that magic and mystery in my drawings. The world is kind of boring without them.

We’re always curious about an artists’ process. What’s your process like? Sketchbook, night owl, or scheduled drawing time?

I’m such a night owl. Its sad really. My best drawing hours are somewhere between 8pm and 3am. I will sit at a desk all day with coffee, listening to podcasts, trying to draw, but I really don’t get started until the sun goes down.  

What’s a medium you’ve yet to try and want to start dabbling in?  Any specific reasons?

I really want to learn how to do intaglio or lithography. I love printmaking and how involved the process can be. Intaglio has been around since the mid 1400’s and lithography since the late 1700’s… It would be amazing to learn such an old process.

Not only do you make some amazing illustrations and murals, but your ceramic pieces are insanely cool and rad.  Tells us a little about how you got into ceramics? What do you love about that medium that maybe you can’t achieve or don’t necessarily get from illustration?

I had been collecting these vintage plates and painting faces and designs into them for awhile. It was a lot of fun, but I wanted to take it to the next level and actually make the plate as well. So I decided to take a ceramics course at my local community college. I immediately fell in love with it. I had dabbled in clay before but nothing felt like ceramic clay. Its so soft and easy to work with. I took a morning class because it was the only thing that worked with my schedule and even though its so hard for me to be awake and functioning that early I found it very calming and therapeutic. Now I have my own kiln. If I don’t feel like focusing on drawing, I will just grab my clay, make some shapes, and carve into them. I don’t have to think too hard about the imagery. Thats one of my favorite things about it. I feel like I can zone out and just carve anything into them and it looks cool. Working with ceramics has taught me to be less uptight and less attached to my work. Im clumsy and break so many pieces after hours of working on them. All I can do is shrug it off and start over.

What’s your studio or creative space like? What would we find in there–what do you keep around for inspiration or do you keep it minimal?

My studio space is pretty cluttered with things. I have so many art supplies, frames, paper, old drawings, prints, etc. I have a big drawing table and a big ceramic table. I have lots of art up for inspiration, some plants, and of course a few cats running around.

Does music play a role in your artistic process? Does it inspire you or is it more of something that keeps you company while you work?  Can you share with us what your top 5 songs/bands that you are currently into?

I do listen to music while I work, but honestly not very often. I find music very intense and very distracting when Im trying to focus. Im better off having a documentary of some sort playing in the background while I draw.

You also run a gallery space called Pony Club where you support and show artists!  How did this idea come about for Pony Club and when did you start it and how has that evolved?  What’s  been the most challenging part of running a space? What’s been the best part of it?

I got lucky enough to be invited to join the gallery in 2009. Its a collective of 6 artists that work out of the space, curate shows, and help run the shop. It started off as a gallery run by a group of cartoonists who catered heavily to that scene. It hasn’t changed too much, except that the members are different and we began to focus more on illustration.

I would say the most challenging part is trying to run/manage a small group of artists. We all have our own careers and ideas that we are trying to focus on. It can be challenging to find the time focus on the space, promoting other artists, and taking care of other business-related responsibilities.  

The most rewarding part is being able to provide a venue for young new illustrators, printmakers, and cartoonists.

Who are your top 5 favorite artists (past or contemporary?) that folks should check out.

Right now Ive been drooling over works by Alex Kuno, Andrea Wan, Tran Nguyen, Saddo, and Bill Crisafi.

Lots of times artists aren’t just one thing, what do you do when you’re not making art or helping out at Pony Club? How do you spend your free time?

Im usually practicing witchcraft or hanging out in the forest.

If folks wanted to follow in your footsteps, what advice or what would you tell folks?

Make sure your in love with what you do, and that your not doing it for the wrong reasons. If your stuck in a rut, go outside to find some inspiration or try a new medium.

Never stop creating.

Tell us about the art community in Portland? Seems like a tight community of talented folks.  Who are some of your local favorites?

The art community is pretty amazing here. It feels like we are all part of this very supportive, very talented and caring family. It can be a little overwhelming to have so many awesome artists around you, but it helps to keep you motivated and doing your best.

Some of my favorite local artists are Mark Rogers, Christina Mrozik, Lauren Gonsalves, Martin Ontiveros and Susannah Kelly.

What’s are your favorite Vans? How would you describe your personal style?

My favorite vans are the old school retro looking hi-tops. I wear a lot of black. My style is somewhere between artsy, witchy, and lazy.

What’s your favorite art secret that you’d like to share with folks?

Its not really a secret but artists are really magicians.

What’s coming up for you in the rest of the 2017 year that folks should stay tuned in for?

I will be painting a mural in August with my awesome buddy Meg Adamson for the Forest For The Trees Mural Fest. And hopefully, I will also be learning to tattoo!

Follow Jennifer Parks Website: www.spectralgardens.com Instagram: @spectralgardens

[arplis]

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[fuck-customers]

it's sad how many shitty people stories i've collected over the span of like two weeks

Some gems of a customer I have had recently:

The lady who comes up to my counter with a couple of basic-ass mechanical pencils and DEMANDS the date the sale on them ended, since ofc, “these were on sale just a couple of days ago!!!!” Our sales mostly run weekly, so I explain they had ended the night before (Saturday) and we had put out new sales for this week already (Sunday). Lady gets huffy, refuses to buy full-price mechanical pencils. Whatever.

The old cranky lady who is shocked by the obscene .14 cents a page charge for full-service black and white copies, and says as she’s flouncing her ass out the door, “Next time I’m going to [competitor]; they’ll do it for free!” Like, good, we don’t want your cranky ass and also that’s probably why they’re going out of business?!?? Also it’s cheaper if your dumb ass could figure out how use the self-serve machines.

The lady who tells me she has a tax-exempt code for our local university AFTER the transaction has processed and I can no longer go back. Of course, she that means she also has contract pricing she neglected to mention. I tried to do a “return” and re-apply the code, took me two tries due to how the system is set up, but didn’t seem to work, manager came and got it figured out in the end. THEN she comes back like a day later and says she got the contract pricing but not the tax removed after further receipt inspection, needs it removed per her employer. Very snippy the whole time, as if it wasn’t HER fault she didn’t tell me about her exemption at literally any stage in the transaction until I couldn’t do anything about it. Different manager was working when she came back, and I don’t know what he did, but after I figured out how to fix the problem, had to do a bunch more fixes because he somehow made it worse until I had explained what had happened initially, because Lord knows, the dumb lady didn’t fucking understand anything, so I’m sure she couldn’t explain properly.

Annnnnd this one made me and my manager laugh so hard we couldn’t stop for a solid minute: lady calls just before 2pm, asks about having flyers made. I tell her we do make flyers, and she asks if we could bundle them by grade level for this event. I tell her probably, but it might take longer if so. She asks how long, because she needs them done by 4pm that day. I’m already thinking it’s not happening since a) both our full-time regular print employees are no longer employed and b) I know they’ve been swamped back there all day. So I ask how many she needs, saying, if it’s a small amount, we might be able to do them by four. She says, oh it’s not a small amount. I ask again how many. She says five or six…THOUSAND. That’s right, she thought we could do 5 or 6 THOUSAND flyers in 2 hours with no notice or prior design work or anything. I told her, definitely not happening, sorry. She says okay, hangs up, and I die laughing at the sheer IGNORANCE. I knew she’d probably be calling every print shop in town asking and they were all gonna tell her IMPOSSIBLE in that timeframe. AND THEN SHE CALLS BACK. Maybe 10 minutes later. Asks if we could do 400 flyers…I check with the print people, they say no not with what they’ve already got going on and with her not even being there yet or anything. She then sighs very heavily, asks about 200…we probably could have done, but my manager said to tell her no, since we did have four fairly large projects ahead of her and it was such short notice. It’s just so wild she thought she could have hundreds, or even thousands, of flyers printed in two hours anywhere. Serves her right though, for leaving something so heavy to the last minute. Also, she was with a swim team, and I don’t know why any high school/middle school swim event in this small city would need THAT MANY DAMN FLYERS.  Like 200 probably would’ve been a lot.

Dude comes in wearing straight-up white suspenders, red and white gingham shirt, and the classic turned-up-end mustache and hipster beard combo. I was cringing internally watching him walk in, because he was trying SO HARD TO BE COOL. But whatever, you wanna be a hipster douche, be a hipster douche. He comes up after a while with a basket full of envelopes, and I ask him if he found everything okay. He starts asking me about fancy, large size paper, but I can barely pay attention due to his put-on faux-British accent. I was stunned, because I could tell it wasn’t real from the first few words, and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! I send him back to the paper aisle, where my manager is waiting to assist him, and after he leaves, I ask over the radio, “That guy’s accent was totally fake, right?!” and she starts agreeing immediately, and laughing, of course. The best part? He didn’t even buy his “AHN-vehl-lohpes”!

Old dude comes in asking where our paper is, and I immediately offered the 2 for 10 paper that was right there at the register, since a) it was there and b) we do get spiff money for it. He says his wife wants something thicker than a regular piece of paper, so I proceed to tell him aisle one and watch him head that way. He pauses and looks confused right at the aisle, so I go and try to help him. Even though the aisles are numbered and aisle one is the last aisle before the end of the building, he couldn’t tell the difference between aisle 1 and aisle 3???? Anyway, I lead him to all the paper, and explain how 20 is the standard weight (and what was up front) so he probably needs the next weight or two up, like a 24 or 28 if he wants something slightly thicker. He of course, hears only the word, “standard” so he’s all, “well if it’s the standard, that should be fine,” despite my explanation to the contrary. He doesn’t know what the specific weight his wife wanted, doesn’t even know if he has an inkjet or laserjet printer, claiming it doesn’t matter (um yes it does?? If you buy the wrong kind your prints won’t work or will look like shit????). Explain the weight thing to him like three more times. Finally he goes back up front and buys the spiff paper, which probably wasn’t what his wife even wanted but whatever. I tried.

A lady comes up and asks for a price check for a large, plastic desk calendar. I scan it, tell her it’s 29.99 or something like that. She asks if the price is wrong, if it was supposed to be on clearance since she “found it on the back wall.” Now we do have clearance back there but also regularly priced stuff and it’s pretty clearly marked. I try to check using my mobi (scangun thing) but it of courses freezes so I just ask my manager over the radio. While I’m waiting for a response, I try to explain that it’s probably not on clearance, which pisses her off because it had like July 2016 through 12/16 on it, even though the other side had all of 2017 also?? She says, “If you want to sell it to me it better be, because I’m not paying that much for half a year!” even though I really don’t care whether she buys it (along with like 3 other calendars) and it does have all of this year and if you put it on a desk or a wall you wouldn’t even see the 2016 bits. Ended having the manager take off 50% for her–sooooooooooo not worth it.

Dude comes in, and he’s been in before and kind of hard to deal with ‘cause he can’t really hear and gets mad that I have to explain things a few times before he gets it, but whatever. He asks for a part for his Kodak camera. Now, we sell like 3 digital cameras and almost no accessories, all of them are Canons and we don’t sell parts for anything electronic that isn’t like a universal charger or an hdmi cable or something. Also, I think Kodak is like out of business now???  Or at least they don’t make or sell cameras anymore, let alone parts for what is probably a fairly old model. So I explain, as best as I can, that not only do we have nothing like what he’s looking for, and we don’t sell any Kodak brand stuff, but Kodak may not be able to help him due to their phasing out of camera selling. Of course, I have to explain several times, with interruptions as he keeps trying to explain what he needs even though I already had listened to him tell me several times as well. Then, once he understands we don’t sell his product, asks me to contact Kodak so they can fix his camera, and I’m just like, dude. I don’t have Kodak’s number or any contacts and we don’t send stuff to them. I have no way of helping you and I’m sorry about that, but did you really expect your local office supply store to have direct contact with a bankrupt company whose headquarters are who knows where so your camera can get fixed????

Lady comes up and sets her kid on my counter, dirty shoes and all, a kid who is definitely old enough to stand up for a minute while she pays, at least three or four. He keeps trying to grab stuff we have for sale at the register, my phone, etc., and she snaps at him a few times but is completely ineffectual. I’m already just annoyed about that, then she chooses to pay with Paypal, and like everyone else who tries that, gets mad when she doesn’t know her PIN and therefore can’t use Paypal. Acts like it’s my fault I can’t bypass it somehow. Mumbles “that’s r*tarded” under her breath, which is not only offensive, but it’s like, hon, you gotta have some way to verify your Paypal account/identity so your shit doesn’t get hacked/stolen. Get a Paypal card or learn your PIN.

Dude who tries to buy some Quickbooks software which is expensive, pulls out a card that’s clearly been through the wringer–completely faded, worn out looking strip, etc. It doesn’t have a chip, so he must swipe. It’s not really working but he’s getting angry and just repeatedly swiping really fast over and over before the machine even beeps and says it can’t read it. Asks if we can input it manually, I say no. Tries swiping again, doesn’t work asks again about inputting it by hand, asks if a manager can do it. I explain we don’t have any way of doing it, manager or no, because the pin pads or system or whatever have removed that functionality completely, which was definitely something handed down from corporate. He gets red in the face and says, “well you guys just lost a 350 dollar purchase! I’m going to [competitor]” I’d be willing to bet his shitty, maltreated, obviously in need of replacement card didn’t work there either. What kind of grown ass adult tries to blame that shit on a cashier/store when it’s obvious you just are too lazy to get your card replaced. IIRC, it was a local bank, too, so totally easy to do.

Lady comes in asking for sheets of printable personal checks. She has some generic brand box of her old product with her, which we don’t carry, but we do have exactly the same thing, compatible with the same softwares, just under our store’s-own brand. I tell her like 5 times it’s the same thing as what she has had (comparing the two boxes directly and pointing out the specifics), but of course she doesn’t really understand or know what she has/wants and doesn’t believe me. Makes me open the package and show her before she finally is satisfied, but ofc, the moment I show her our product she goes “oh! That’s exactly what I need!” Like yeah, I know, I just spent five minutes telling you it’s the same thing.

Dude comes in asking for 30-day notices, I run to grab one and realize there’s a few different varieties, run back to ask what kind, get a vague “tenants” reply and have to guess. I luckily grab the eviction warning one which is the one he wanted, but then he gets upset that it only comes with one in the package. Now, I’m not sure of the legalities of photocopying those types of things, since it’s kind of an official thing or whatever, so I don’t mention copying it in-store, but I do let him know it comes with a digital download so he can print as many as he needs. He doesn’t have internet, apparently, so I explain that the one I brought is all they’re sold as, singles + the download but he could maybe use the library and print for free there? He did buy it but it’s like, dude…figure it out or don’t buy it but don’t get upset over something digital because it’s 2017 and that is a thing. Also how many tenants are you sending 30-day eviction warning notices to at a time anyhow???

The old dude who interrupted himself halfway through telling me his phone number rewards to tell me all the things he’s bought recently while I stood there with a fake smile waiting to input the other four digits while he rambles on.

And I swear to whoever, if I hear any more complaints about the price of faxes, chair mats, or ink, I am gonna Do a Murder. Learn how to email if you don’t like paying for expensive faxing! If you can afford an expensive chair (i.e. the ones that actually need the mats) then you can afford the mat. Otherwise, you probably don’t need one. And yes, ink is expensive–so print at the library for free! Or buy a cheaper printer that takes cheaper ink! Or get a freaking laser printer so you only have to buy toner once like every nine months so even if it’s expensive it’s more worth it! But I don’t set prices! Nobody does! It’s all corporate controlled! We don’t even get to pick our own air conditioning levels! Stop complaining to me and arguing with me, a part-time cashier who works in a store over two thousand miles away from headquarters, about the damn prices!!!!!!!!!

[arplis]

Arplis - News: Good Looking Mirrored Picture Frames For Wall

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