#i got distracted by college/uni au...idk why i like them so much!

[cafffeinations]

It’s amelietweek! \o/ Here’s something for the day 4 prompt College/University AU. It also features Estonia as Lithuania’s room mate, and has mentions of Canada (I think Himaruya put Estonia’s ‘human age’ as younger than America, but here he’s older, like Lithuania). Its ~2,400 words and can be read on AO3 here

Somehow Alfred not being there is just as distracting as when he is, but Eduard is oh so fortunately around to inform him why.

---

Seeing as Alfred isn't around, there's really no excuse why Toris isn't getting on with any work. Without the stories about his day or the new people he always seems to be meeting, explanations about whatever new thing he's into that week and just his exuberant presence in general, it's a much quieter and study-friendly Tuesday evening than Toris usually has.

 Yet whenever he tries to focus on the paragraphs before him, the blinking cursor reminding him how unfinished they are, his eyes manage to glance of their own accord back to the clock at the bottom of the screen. He's usually here by now, the thought cycle begins, I wonder what he's up to?

But as the more rational part of his mind points out, there's no real reason for him to be here; just because he usually comes by doesn't mean he has to.

That should be the end of it, but he just cant help but imagine where he is, be it eating with friends or out running or maybe even studying - unlikely, he smiles wryly to himself, remembering how Alfred had proclaimed that he's 'better off' cramming before finals or he'll just forget everything. Toris had questioned if that really was so wise, to which Alfred had stuck out his tongue, making such a silly face that he'd laughed and -

His word count still has not gone up.

With a sigh he leans back and stretches his arms and shoulders, mentally berating himself, just as Eduard comes through the door.

"Hey," he greets, sliding his backpack onto the bed on his side of the room, "that doesn't look so promising." 

"Yeah, I'm not having the most productive time," Toris replies ruefully, trying not to calculate the days and hours until the one of his many deadlines.

"Well don't worry, you'll manage. You always get it done," Eduard reassures him, and he smiles gratefully, at least until he continues, "especially as it seems our resident freshman isn't around for once to distract you."

"Oh, don't be mean," Toris resists the urge to roll his eyes, a vague idea of where Eduard is headed, "he doesn't come here that much."

"If you say so," Eduard says in a tone that clearly doesn't believe him.

"Its only on Tuesdays when he has a late class over here," Toris bites against his better judgement, referring to the computer suite they live near, "and some Wednesdays if he has time to kill before baseball practice...and maybe on Fridays because of that burger stand he likes." (It was, according to Alfred himself, the best he'd had since moving from home).

"Hmm. How convenient."

"Plus he thinks that he can get your help with his coding or whatever it is you computer guys do!"

"He wishes! That was a one time deal and he knows it." Tutting, he boots his computer up (but Toris knows that as much as Eduard grumbles about Alfred, he finds him nice enough or he wouldn't put up with him coming over at all). "No, it's not me he treks over here for."

There's an emphasis there that he can't help himself but address. "I know what you're saying, and stop it. We just get along well, that's all."

"I'm not saying anything."

"You are," he grumbles.

"Well it's not my fault he's got a major crush on you, is it? I'm just pointing out the obvious. Yes, it's obvious," he interrupts before Toris can say otherwise, "and you like him back, or you'd be busy working instead of sat there looking at the time." 

"I wasn't- I was just- reading and planning what to write!" he protests, lying, and wondering not for the first time how Eduard manages to pick up on things he'd really rather he didn't.

"Very convincing," he says dryly.

As if to make a point Toris turns back to his screen, but he's not reading anything at all.

It's not exactly something he's never thought about, but he hadn't realised that it was so obvious. Or maybe Eduard was just too perceptive for his own good - he hoped that was the case.

"I don't think Alfred swings that way anyway," he says after a while, not quite as casually as he intended, but luckily Eduard is rifling through a pile of notes, not seeing his faint blush.

"You'll never know if you don't try," he shrugs, "You should just ask him. If you can get a word in against all the nonsense he chats, anyway."

Alfred did talk a lot, yes, but Toris enjoys it so long as he can keep up with the tangents that he sometimes flies into. And it wasn't all nonsense - if you really listened, there was more to him than just loudness and energy.

This was particularly apparent when they were alone. Then, it wasn't unusual for him to talk in, well how could he put it...just a different kind of way, one that led Toris to discover this more rounded side of him. Not that he meant Alfred was a superficial person or anything - really he was pretty damn genuine to all - but just that being on the go as much as he was, and as breezily as he interacted with so many people, he didn't think many (if any) got to see the depths that he did.

And maybe this wasn't all that unique, because wasn't everyone the same? Not many share their deeper thoughts with everyone in everyday conversation now, do they?

But the fact that Alfred could sit on his bed and come out with all sorts of things to him, made him feel kind of special. He'd learnt for example that Alfred jokes to people about math being the end of him, but he doesn't like admitting he'd been close to not making it to college at all until he'd taken extra tutoring; he knows that Alfred has a twin brother who he has little in common with but still 'actually kind of misses', and wishes they were closer; he knows as well that he's got some sort of hang-up about missing out on things and that's why he likes to get involved in so much. 

If Toris is a bit like his confidant then he's fine with being there for him, and it doesn't mean Alfred likes him, just that they feel comfortable around each other. That's what he gets most from Alfred, he suspects; a lingering feeling of lightness, his fun and carefree manner a refreshing break from himself and the stresses he gets himself tangled up in.

Does that mean he wants more than just, hanging out though? The idea of going there, closing that distance between them when they're sat together, is far (far) from unappealing, but feelings get so messy, and...well, he should be focusing on the reason why he's here in the first place. To study, and the grades sure aren't going to achieve themselves.

 ---

 Its just as he's about to pull on his pyjamas, having managed a to-do list for tomorrow's study if not ticked any more off that night, that his phone buzzes, twice in quick succession.

There aren't that many people who message him, and sure enough its the culprit of his earlier distraction.

Hey im so sorry i didnt come over today!! blame my mom, she said she had important news and to skype her ASAP so i ran back and all it was is that shes selling the house!!

-

which is still important lol but i was freaking out so much thinking it was something bad! sorry

He can feel a smile creeping onto his face before he's even halfway through reading, so very much like Alfred it is to sound lively even in text. The fact that he's being thought about too may have contributed to that smile, but he means it when he replies,

You dont have to apologize! You can't ignore moms when they say its important haha. That sounds exciting!

He's barely set the phone down when it buzzes again, but this time its a call - for some reason, this makes him nervous, but before he can over-think he hits answer, grabs his key and slips out of the room so Eduard can't eavesdrop when he comes out the shower.

"Hello?"

"Hey, its me, can you talk?"

"Yeah," he says and pads past other rooms along the hall to sit out on the top step of the flight of stairs. "How are you?"

"I'm good, now!" America chirps down the phone, "Can you believe it though? She could've phrased it in a much better way, she had me so worried!"

"That's true!" Though he could also imagine Alfred doing the same, impulsively sending a message before thinking it through, "Its really fine though!"

"Yeah? You didn't miss me too much?"  

Obviously Toris can't see his face, but he can picture the cheesy and slightly cocky grin all the same.

"Not much," he teases, "I have Ed for company, after all."

"Pssh, I'm much better company than he is! That guy still won't help me with my paper," he grumbles, to which Toris chuckles.

"So you're moving home then?"

"Oh yeah - well to be honest its not even a shock, before we even went to college Mom was making plans to downsize. Just means there wont be as much space to move back so no pressure for finding a job at the end, right!" He laughs loud, in somewhat contradiction to what he's just said, and Toris hopes Alfred's room mate is out or at least not trying to sleep.

"You've got a couple of years to think about that yet," he says, "there'll be room for you to stay for vacations still, right?"

"Yeah, better be. Me and Matt have already said there has to be unless she wants us fighting over who's gonna sleep on the floor!"

"You spoke to him too?"

"Mm!" he imagines Alfred is nodding, "Actually I've been on skype to him most of the night. Its been a while since we talked, you know?"

"Yeah. How is he?"

"Really good! Buried in books he says, but doing okay. He's found a group of hockey nerds so he's been getting crazy with them 'til now I'm sure."

Toris thinks he means this in an affectionate way, considering how he says that he misses the guy, but his flip-flopping in how kindly he describes his brother isn't all that new a phenomenon.

"I think college is suiting him good. I tried to ask about all the girls in those pictures with him on Facebook and he went all red and told me to mind my own business! So he must be doing well, right!" he laughs again and Toris can’t help but smile too.

"You'll have to get some of his secrets," he teases, expecting Alfred to take it in his stride. 

"Yeah, maybe," he sighs, and there's a pause; not sad, just there, and for a second Toris remembers his earlier conversation with Eduard, and whether Alfred likes...

He decides against going there now.

"It's nice you're catching up."

"Yeah. I told him he should visit sometime soon. Hopefully he won't be too mad that not many people know I have a twin, ha ha...but you two would get along well I think."

"Oh yeah?"

"Uh-huh, you're both kinda quiet. And you put up with me! Actually, Matt said that-" 

He waits for the rest, but instead he gets, "actually, nevermind. How was your day?" 

"Um, it was fine but hey I'm curious now!" Toris answered, unsure as to what it could be. 

"Nah, it's nothing. I'll tell you next time I see you. I have to go to a group project before practice tomorrow but hopefully soon?"

"Yeah, sure," Toris replies, "I don't go far!" (which except from the library, was sadly true).

"Cool. Ok, well, goodnight!"

"Night Alfred," he says, and waits for him to hang up. After a few seconds he does, but something about the abrupt end and change of track is nagging at him. It's uncharacteristic of Alfred to be hesitant, but of course he's fully entitled to his privacy. He'll just have to wait and see if he does elaborate later.

He's about to get up when his phone vibrates again, making him jump.

"Hello?"

"Ok so I'm sorry if this weird but basically he said I talked about you so much he couldn't wait to meet you and he was glad that I'd found someone, and I was like what are you talking about and he was like - okay you don't need all of that, and um, do you know what I'm getting at here?"

He talks so fast it takes Toris' mind takes a while to catch up with his ears, and a few moments on top of that to fully process just what he's said.

"I, think I might," he says slowly, butterflies in his stomach.

"Do I? Come across like, I you know... like you."

He wonders what the best answer would be, and truth be told doesn't really know.

"I think only you can answer that," he says softly, and wishes he was there with Alfred now, to reassure the likely puzzled frown furrowed on his face. "For the record though, its not weird."

"It's not?"

"No, it's - it's fine. It's more than fine, actually," and he waits with bated breath for a response.

"Cool," Alfred says, which may not sound like much but he knows, he can just tell, that means he’s happy.

"Listen-," he starts at the same time as Alfred says "So-"; they laugh, nervously but happily, and he lets Alfred continue.

"I've got some stuff to figure out, about this," he says, "but I think you can help. Are you free on Friday?"

"Yes."

"Do you wanna go for a drink? Like, a proper drink. A date drink."

"That would be great," he says, beaming, and he really means it.

 ---

The next morning as he's about to head to the library, Eduard says, "I  don't want to say I told you so, but, I told you so."

"What do you mean?" Toris says as innocently as possible, feigning ignorance.

"Funnily enough, given your denial, something's happened between you and him."

Toris exhales into an exasperated laugh. "I haven't even said anything! How can you possibly know?!"

"You've practically been smiling ever since you woke up."

And throughout the day, whenever he thinks about Friday, it's hard to stop.

[oh-phineas]

Emma’s 2020 Questionnaire! 

Your Name: Emma Characters: Phineas Flynn, Tiana Truitt, Aquata Triton, Henry Charming, Evelyn Deavor Pick one of your characters and talk about their growth (we recommend choosing an older character, but it’s up to you!) What about their story has surprised you? What are you proud of? How have they changed from their original inception to now? I’m going to talk about Phineas because I’ve had him for the longest and I think he’s the one I’ve been able to spend the most time developing. So basically something I struggled with when I first picked up Phineas was how he deals with people he doesn’t like, because in the show I don’t think he really dislikes anyone. And I feel like this drama with Tony recently has finally helped me crack what Phineas’s deal is when it comes to conflict-- he doesn’t really feel down about it unless he feels like his character is being questioned, and that’s why with Wilbur he’s mostly like whatever while with Tony and Lock (in the past) Phineas has gotten petty and vindictive-- he doesn’t like the role he’s found himself in and he takes that personally if that makes sense. (Also Phineas just way prioritizes his job with Cornelius over getting back at Wilbur, even if he’ll make the occasional jab at Wilbur in Among Us or on Twitter). So that’s been really cool to explore. And I think he’s also gotten a little less finance-bro-y than I originally intended, but I think that side of him will definitely come out once he graduates and goes to uni. I think the thing I’m most proud of with him is kind of maintaining that balance between being totally likeable and fun while also pretty infuriating and obtuse, like he’s a sweet and well-meaning person who’s also really annoying and idk I think I do that balance well.

Pick another character (or the same character if you only have one) and talk a little about where you WANT them to go. What are your plans for them going into the new year? I’m really excited to see where Tiana goes! Ever since I picked her up, I’ve been focused on this goal of getting the restaurant to happen and now that I’ve done that, there are a lot of possibilities. I want to see Tiana burn out from the stress a little bit-- maybe take on more than she can handle because a big part of her arc has been learning to accept help and collaborate with people, and I got to do that a lot with planning Tiana’s Place, but I would also really like to see that continue because those tendencies don’t really go away. I also want LOVE for Tiana even though I keep saying she doesn’t have time for it-- I want her to get a stupid crush that distracts her from work lol I think it could be really fun. And I’m also really excited to keep developing all her friendships, I love all of her Swynlake native connections and PRINCESS HOUSE and other small business owners and now that she really feels like she has put down roots with her restaurant, I want to see her branching out more.

Pick a thread or a plot that you’re proud of and talk about why you loved it. In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 strengths and talk about why you think it’s one of your strengths. Ok sorry to keep talking about Tiana I promise I have other characters but I’m really proud of all of the different characters I incorporated into the Tiana’s Place opening. My goal was to make a real community effort to show that, no matter how much she wanted to do it on her own, she still has a whole group of people supporting her and who have a stake in it-- from Nuka and Ratigan in the beginning with the financial stuff to Clara and Toulouse and Laszlo with the music/art to Jun and Al for business advice to all the people who donated to the raffle. And the raffle was so fun and I hope people use that for plots!!

I also gotta shout out one more: writing the pirates AU Phineas and Ferb stuff was so much fun and really pushed me as a writer I think. I was a little uneasy going into pirates because action/movement/fights are not my strong suit and I knew there would be a lot of that. But the generated stuff was really helpful in kickstarting some ideas and Sid was so great to work with on that. I thought we got really creative and personally I had so much fun and I hope other people did too. 

In terms of strengths for my writing-- I think I’m good with flaws? Like even characters who are really sweet and nice (I’m looking at you Henry) I think I try to show the different sides of them and explore how you can be both really well-meaning and really misguided at the same time. And I think that’s good because it has the potential to cause conflict and drive forward more plots where there’s no clear ~bad guy~ just flawed people trying their best and that’s the most interesting stuff to me. Of course I also love big bads! I think macro plots are really important. I think my niche though is those petty little conflicts and I think I do a good job with them. 

I’m adding another too because you know what why not. I think I've gotten pretty creative recently?? Like I’ve done some really weird fun stuff this year-- Henry and Jake’s acapella audition is up there as one of my favorite threads, and I’m really excited about Tiana and Aurora’s fake date and Greg and Q doing Santa’s Workshop and I think Henry’s first open was one of my favorite opens I’ve done. Idk I think one of my insecurities about RP has always been that I worry I don’t bring enough ideas to the table with plotting and I think I’m getting better at letting my brain dream up weird cool stuff.

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 areas of improvement.

Like I said, plotting is still something I struggle with-- I spent the majority of my early RP experience in a very gif-chat-heavy open-heavy fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants rp, so coming to BDRP even back during round 1 in 2017, plotting was a big surprise to me. And this is also something that I struggle with in my non-RP writing-- story arc and structure is something I have always wanted to improve. But I think I’m getting better at fleshing out ideas and not putting too much pressure on myself. And I think I’m also getting better at stepping out of my comfort zone and messaging people I don’t write with as often which is important because literally everyone here is so fun and talented! So I want to keep doing that. I know I can be a little shy sometimes (this sounds SO weird I never shut up lol but it’s how I feel) and I don’t want that to hold me back

In terms of actual writing stuff, I’d like to expand my vocabulary a bit more? I think I use certain words and phrasing so often that it annoys me and maybe it annoys no one else and my writing will be worse if I try to throw in unnecessary words but yeah. I think reading more will help with that. And in general I just really want to get better at thinking stuff through and building story arcs. 

Pick one of your plots, or even just a character, and come up with a list of 3-5 “mentor texts” where you can look for inspiration or research, then write a short (2-4 sentences) why you picked those texts. (They don’t have to be books, either!)

Ev is the one I feel like I need to do the most development on so here goes!

1. Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston, specifically the character Nora

Messy nerd girls! Messy nerd girls! Please recommend me more things with messy nerd girls! Nora is basically Ev’s exterior, the person people know her as. She’s chaotic and fun and relatable, and also kind of a genius.

2. Macbeth, specifically the character Lady Macbeth

This is one I wanna dive into! I’ve seen a heavily abridged version of Macbeth and that’s about it but I have a copy sitting on my desk. I love a villain who likes to stay behind the scenes and pull the strings, and while Ev is in this for “moral reasons” (lol) she’s also in this for #power. I’m not used to playing manipulative villains-- I’m usually more of a henchperson type deal, so the ultimate 4-D chess gal would be some good inspo.

3. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, specifically Professor Quirrell.

Ok I am really sorry to bring Harry Potter into this but I think something that’s important about Ev is that one of the things distracting from her villainy is her vague air of incompetency. We know she’s very smart and she has the whole nutty-professor thing going, but she’s kind of a mess and I want characters to underestimate her. I think Quirrell’s vibe of being nervous about everything is similar to Ev’s messy exterior and I would love a good end-of-the-book villain reveal.  And now, a wishlist! Jot down a few themes or stories or genres etc that you want to maybe pursue in the upcoming year! (i.e. a good ol’ fashion forbidden romance, maybe you want to dig deep into racial identity etc) This doesn’t have to necessarily be attached to any characters or stories you have now– it’s just meant to help you see for yourself what kind of stories call to your heart.

Oooh so many things. Generally more romance-- I always hesitate a little with shipping IDK WHY maybe it’s insecurity about jumping into what always feels like a bit plot to me lol. But I wanna take that plunge more-- especially with Tiana! But I’m pretty much open to stuff with anyone, especially really silly rom-com type stuff. I also think that my shipping niche is super complicated stuff with villains (the irony and craziness of the Henleigh situation is so FASCINATING and FUN and I want MORE OF THAT) so just saying a I’m-flirting-with-you-because-you’re-a-good-ally-to-have-on-my-side-oh-no-I’m-actually-falling-for-you thing with Ev could be really fun (LISTEN her entire tag is just shipping content. I scroll through so much of it so of course it gave me some ideas)

I’m also REALLY jazzed about the uni stuff going on right now. Like I’ve said before, I think college is a really interesting place and so much weird shit happens there because you have all these 18-22 year olds living in close quarters and they come up with weird ways to entertain themselves. The secret santa/RA stuff has me loling every day and I just love stuff like that. Like, I’d love to have shenanigans like people sneaking into dorms and staying up until 3 am in the library and all that stuff. I just love that stuff.

Also I am really trying to do big bad stuff with Ev!! As I have mentioned... plotting and story arcs are a major thing I’m trying to work on, so it’s a lot to think about, but I would really just love to do all kinds of things-- I’d love to have her enable small-time villains, or manipulate people who are easily swayed, or to trick people. It’s a new area for me, but it’s something I’m excited about and I want to challenge myself.

OPTIONAL: Why do you RP?

Because I literally can’t stop apparently lol. No but the thing I love about RP is getting to collaborate on a story and getting surprised by people, getting to geek out about something that I can also participate in, and having NO RULES. I think there’s something really special about having an interest that I can’t monetize or market, that I can do for pure fun out of my love of creating and writing. And I love having a community of people on the ride with me. It’s so much fun and I’m so grateful for you guys!

I always end with a gif so here’s my favorite gif it legit makes me laugh out loud

[sofhyuck]

Greasy Baby

Genre: fluff, greaser!hyuck

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N this au stems from some enlightening conversations with @cinanamon who is graciously allowing me to use some of her ideas, this one’s for you bb ;))))

greaser!hyuck is...a lil shit to say the least

like ye he’s a handsome boi i mean,,,imagine him in a leather jacket,,,hair gelled back,,,yes pls

but he knows him and his group of bois (dreamies hello) are hot shit and he’s not afraid to show that he knows it

him and the dreamies are always seen cruising around town,,, harassing hollerin at the ladies from the inside of hyuck’s beat up mustang (is that a time period correct car??? idk and idc to look it up lol)

he never actually physically harasses anyone, it’s all fun and games (for them at least don’t accept cat calling kids men ain’t shit)

there’s just...nothing else really for them to do around town

the only forms of entertainment come from the drive in theater and the soda shop that all the kids hang out at after school

he attends his local university since him and the gang come from a small town and didn’t really care to leave or have the grades to go to a better school

and you...well you don’t really know why you decided to attend a university in such a dinky little town

maybe it’s because you wanted a change of pace from the city, and maybe it’s because it’s your mother’s alma mater and you spent a few of your summers there

but somehow you find yourself at the school

the only problem is,,,everyone who attends the school grew up in the dumb town,,,meaning everyone already knows each other and has their friend groups and cliques

leaving you to fend for yourself and kind of live as an outsider

sure you make acquaintances in your classes but,,,it’s hard for you to make solid friends when everyone else already knows everything about everyone else 

so you’ve been living your life on campus, smiling at the acquaintances you’ve made when you pass by them on the street, but you never really hang out with anyone after school

your sophomore year you got a job at the soda shop bc college ain’t cheap and they were hiring

surprisingly enough you made close friends through the job, your coworkers went to the same uni as you and the clientele were also in some of your classes

so you began to actually go out more (when you weren’t working obvi)

on day you were on campus walking to your next class and you saw one of said new friends

but while you were distracted with waving to them you bumped into someone and woop guess who????

you guessed it our boy hyuck with the rest of 00 line walking past

he was bouta pop off but then he sees it’s you the cute lil waitress from the soda shop that he’s lowkey seen around and been crushing on for a few months now

so when he sees you stuttering out an apology bc boi is brighter than the damn son and took your breath away

he just smirks and lets out a lil chuckle and just says ‘don’t worry about it sweetcheeks’ with a wink and then he’s off

you stand there for a moment in shock bc like obvi you know who he is even if you’ve only been around a few years who tf doesn’t know hyuck and co

and ofc your friends all saw and were like...b don’t even worry about it he just be like that sometimes ya know

and you’re like yea u right and forget about the whole encounter

but guess who doesn’t ohohoho it’s mister lee donghyuck himself he be thinking about it the rest of the day bc wow you’re even prettier up close huh

and the rest of dream are like...mmhmm ok mr. lee not sus at all we’re on. to. you.

so guess where hyuck ever so casually zooms off to after his classes are over????

oh boy you guessed it right off to the soda shop but oomph poor bb you’re not actually working that day and bb is sad :(((( meanwhile his boys are just laughing at him bc omg hyuck is so w hi p pe d

so now bb is going to the shop every moment he can until!!! finally!!! you’re working again god bless!!!

as soon as he sees you’re working baby sits bolt up right and starts fixing his slicked back hair that he had totally not been running his hands through out of nerves

the other boys weren’t there bc??? they have better places to be than at the soda shop for the 50000 time that day even though chenle and jisung had been there earlier just to laugh at him

but now holy shit you’re coming over and you look so cute in the dumb poodle skirt they make you wear as a uniform with your hair placed in a high ponytail

meanwhile you’re sw e a t i n g bc shit it’s hyuck and he’s still a handsome ass boy and you have to serve his table n ow f u c k

so you sidle on over and give him your usual spiel asking what he’d like to order n shit

and this boy omf remember when i said he was annoying?

well yea he fucking goes ‘are you on the menu bc I’d certainly like to have a piece of you’

and you’re like...boy tf oh my god i want to SLAP him 

but you grin through it like ha ha...funny ok...our specials for today are...

hyuck ain’t listening anymore bc he’s busy mentally kicking himself bc??? really hyuck??? you’re trying to make her like you wtf were you t h in k i ng

so he just points at some random thing on the menu, his head hanging in shame

and yea you’d think it was cute if he hadn’t just gotten on your damn nerves

but, alas, you have to continue serving the boy who had ordered literally just a fried egg but you know who were you to judge

he eats the egg rather quickly and then just...sits there...not doing anything...and you don’t know what to do like you can’t kick him out he did order something and it’s not particularly busy

meanwhile hyuck’s head is spinning trying to think of how to woo you after completely embarrassing himself earlier

after like an hour passes you head over to him, ready to ask him again if he wants anything else to eat 

but as soon as you get to him he jolts upright scaring the shit out of you and he’s like fuck sorry i didn’t mean to scare you 

and you’re like it’s fine now seriously do you want anything else-

but he cuts you off and suddenly...lee donghyuck?? is grabbing onto your hand??? and rapidly apologizing to you for being so Gross earlier

you gotta shake the boy off of you and honestly,,,he’s really endearing like aw he’s so embarrassed what a bb

when you get out of his grip you’re like bro it’s ok tbh i get much worse all the time

suddenlt hyuck is ready to f i g ht like who tf??? i will square up 

in your head you’re like,,,bitch ik you catcall don’t even try...but in reality you’re like mmmhmm sure ok you couldn’t hurt a damn fly

hyuck is angery now like wdym im tough >:( don’t you see my leather jacket and cool hair and car???

and you,,,oh you little reader pat lee donghyuck’s fUCkiNg head and now he is blushing oooooh

in a smol voice he asks for his check and leaves you a v generous tip despite your protests

and by that time his confidence seems to come back bc he winks and tells you he’ll be back

you giggle and give him a lil wave bc...wow lee donghyuck is just a cute shy lil bb hehe

and now hyuck is coming in every day,,,sometimes with his boys,,,sometimes alone but no matter what he’s always sure to, in a respectful manner, flirt with you and chat you up while dream just look on in amusement bc, again, hyuck is wh i p p e d

y’all just kinda...live like that for a few weeks but it’s v clear to e v er y body that there is shit going down between the two of you

like at this point hyuck’s hanging around campus with you too so like,,,everyone and their mother knows at this point bc,,,like i said earlier,,,everyone in this damn town knows everything about everyone

so ya’ll are stagnant, hyuck flirting, you laughing and sometimes flirting back

until one day ohhh boy there’s a new boul in town and he is not ashamed at all

and by that i mean he’s the biggest fucking asshole to ever step foot in the town, thinking he’s hot shit and everybody wants him when everyone hates his g u t s

and this boy has been hanging around the shop, livin his life, waiting for his moment to strike

but uh oh he made a mistake bc the first person he attempts to come on to...is you

and hyuck has been there bc he knows this guy has been hanging around and he wants to keep an eye on you his girl

it was a good thing too bc... this boul is going all out

tugging lightly at your skirt when you come to take his order while he uses the same cringy line hyuck used on you that first day

and hyuck knows you’re a big girl who can handle herself which you make very clear by firmly rejecting him with a smile plastered across your face

but...boy does not and will not let up

and you’re getting more and more frustrated and hyuck can tell esp when you keep throwing exasperated looks in his direction w the occasional eye roll

he would laugh but he’s too busy trying not to flip his shit

until boy fuckin just goes to grab your ass and you immediately move back, ready to reprimand him

but all thoughts are brushed aside when a loud crash sounds followed by heavy footsteps

hyucky had stood up so harshly that his chair had fallen over but he hadn’t even bothered to fix it bc he immediately stormed over to you, loosely wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into his side 

he is m a d like you thought he couldn’t fight before but now he looks like he could rip a guys head off and you lowkey find it hot but that’s not what’s important right now

the guy is like oh woops sorry bro didn’t know she was taken but hyuck is not having it going off about how you shouldn’t treat anyone like that period no matter if they’re in a relationship or not

and yes hyuck and his friends had been the same way a few months before but meeting you changed his way of thinking and his friends as well

bc the idiots had never had any female acquaintances before but now they have you and you’re like a sister to them except for hyuck obvi bc he’s in looove

anyway back to the matter at hand i swear i keep going on tangents soz

you have to calm hyuck down before he actually punches this guy in the nose and the guy throws some money on the table before booking it out of there bc he’s high key scared rn lol puddy

your boss comes out and is like...y’all good? and you’re like uhhh yea mind if i talk to him for a minute? n he’s like ya sure whatever

so you pull hyuck over to a back room and you’re like,,,bro,,,wtf you good now??

but hyuck is on a roll now and just flat out says ‘i’ve liked you for a while now so will you do me the honor of being my gf?’

you ??? for a second before snapping himself out of it and you’re like ??? hell yea boi tf???

so now y’all are dating woo!!!

he makes sure to come to the shop whenever you’re working

at first he even would miss classes but you were not gonna have that oh no education comes first kids >:(((

and he was like ugh ok fine but he always managed to get other dreamies to be there when he couldn’t just so he knows you’re ok :(((

you get really close with the other dreamies tho so now you’re all one happy family

even when hyuck isn’t at your shift he makes sure to pick you up afterwards

waiting outside, leaning against his beat up mustang …leather jacket on…waiting for you to come out…and when you walk up to him he grabs you by the waist…pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead…before opening the door for you…driving off to who knows where…but neither of you care as long as you’re together…

sometimes you go to the drive in and cuddle up in the backseat making out for the duration of the movie hehe

you climb onto his lap and sometimes you can hear the people in the next car wooping and hyuck just gives them the finger before bringing his hand back to settle on the back of your thigh

ahem anyways enough of that

other times you just,,, drive around,,, windows down,,, blasting music and laughing,,, just living your life as two college students should hyuck’s hand resting on your thigh shhhh

you always stop at the same dingy diner that’s hidden away on some side road

(shout out to steph for this next part love you bb uwu)

and hyuck always rummages through his pockets  for change to buy you a drink, even when you say he doesn’t have to and you know he doesn’t always have the most money he says he wants to

trips to the diner are always followed by sunset drives where you have to remind him to watch the road bc  he finds it so much fun to smiles t you and try to kiss you while driving and you scold him that he’s going to die one day, him saying it’s better to live hard, die young

[reinalowellwrites-blog]

college and hotel AUs

so I just started living on campus at uni and I work in a hotel, so I made a list of writing prompts with my best friend @scubadiva that we would really like you all to use and play around with however you want. Make a short story, make a scene, write half a scene and give up, write a full novel, do anything! Just make sure to copy & paste or link it down below because we reallyyyy want to read them. So, without further ado...

College AU prompts:

“Hey you’re in my class and you’re always the smartest and most organized, but now you’re sloppy drunk in this club and grinding on a stranger, also what do you mean we have two tests tomorrow????” au 

“I’m the shuttle driver and you’ve been riding around campus with me for three hours in silence so I finally asked why and you said your roommates hate you and want to fight with you and you don’t have a car to drive away in so now you’re doing your homework in this now-empty shuttle with me which is totally not creepy because I swear I won’t invade your personal space, but you should know I’m missing my break for this so now we’re going to a drive-thru do you want a cheeseburger” au

“You’re the shuttle driver and I don’t have the heart to tell you that you missed the last two stops—mine included—because Mr. Brightside distracted you, but I really need to get to class and wtf are you crying?????” au

“I met you waiting at the shuttle stop while checking my mailbox and stopped to talk to you because you’re really cute but you should know that it’s Saturday so the shuttle doesn’t run today and also can I have your number????” au

“You’re a really cute RA and I’m super into you and I can’t tell if it’s mutual or not but please come over every day so I can ask you questions I already know the answer to also I genuinely don’t think this key opens any of the mailboxes what is it for” au

“I woke up after a college party in a locked building I don’t recognize and hello stranger I think I kissed last night, do you know how we got here or how we escape because I'm scared????” au

“Our college has a game where each student has to find the student they’re assigned to “kill” and everyone who gets a kill takes their victim’s assignment and I’ve been the champ for a while but now there’s a new streak-winning killer on the loose and no one knows who it is and I’m probably about to make out with you at this party when you try to kill me but I catch you before you can because I have your name too and uh oh now what” au

Hotel AU prompts:

“I’m sorry I banged on the wall between our rooms and then also your door so loudly, I thought you were having loud sex but it’s actually just you rocking against your headboard and sobbing are you okay???” au

“You’re the night housekeeper and I’m a guest and I thought you were super cute so now I’ve asked for like four microwaves even though I don’t have any food because I want to see you again and I think you’re starting to realize that I’m not actually having trouble with any of them so hey let’s go eat dinner sometime maybe????” au

“This hotel has a make your own pasta bar and you’re the chef making the pasta and I hate everything you’re recommending but I can’t say no to those beautiful eyes and now you want to watch me take a bite but I’m literally so allergic to dairy and gluten so I’m just gonna box it up and say it’s for my brother when in reality I’m going to go to my room and beg my parents not to kill me for doing this like eight days in a row” au

“My family came on this vacation to explore the town, but I twisted my ankle so they left me behind and my ankle is better now but please don’t tell them because I’d much rather be here on the balcony where I can spy on you every day while you work at the pool” au

“You’re the room service boy and we were flirting earlier but now I’m sulking in my room after my parents embarrassed me in front of you when I hear a knock on the door and I didn’t order room service and it’s just a flower and a note and omg it’s from you” au

“You’re a massage therapist and I’m your client and you haven’t done anything unprofessional but you’re so good at your job and so sweet and cute that now I’m in love with you and I’m definitely coming back to see if you remember me tomorrow because if you do then I’m asking you out” au

“I’m a chef and you’re the room service attendant and we’ve got a full house of people with special dietary needs so they keep sending you here to yell at me or something but you’re being really nice to me and now everyone is staring because I haven’t threatened to kill you with my favorite cleaver yet but it’s because you’re really cute????? fuckin marry me, you little shit, wHAT DO YOU MEAN THE THIN CRUST IS TOO THICK” au

“You’re a server and it’s so late that you forget yourself and sit down at my table, but it’s so cute and I feel so bad for you that I let you stay and you say the candlelight makes this seem like a date and I don’t have the heart to tell you I think I just got stood up and oh nvm here is my asshole bf and you definitely don’t like it but you leave and the next day I get a note at breakfast from you saying thank you and oh great now I’m feeling feelings I gtg jk a snowstorm has come to trap all three of us in, thanks bomb cyclone” au

“You’re simultaneously setting up my sister’s wedding and counseling her and her husband through their first big fight and I’d hate to add more to your busy schedule, but I’m in love with you for reasons I don’t quite get yet and I want to go out with you asap but you’re super busy so I guess I gotta bring you lunch on your break do you like Panera???? that seems pretty grown up and you’re pretty grown so” au

“We both work night shifts in the lobby, you’re at front desk and I’m guest services, and I definitely want to make out with you after last year’s ~close encounter~ but I’m scared you don’t feel the same but then one day a coworker backs out of coat check with you and I’m filling in and it’s so late and we’re basically in a closet without a camera and idk if you remember, but night shift means no rules so let's just kiss and see what happens” au

“You’re the engineer’s apprentice and I’m the guest whose thermostat won’t cooperate and the hotel is too full for me to move rooms so I’m just gonna have to call you for help every day oh well so hey do you like cookies because I bought some to thank and maybe seduce you idk I’ve never done this before pls just don’t laugh at me” au

“You’re the engineer’s apprentice and I’m the guest who’s broken two microwaves, a shower wall, and a lamp, but now I’ve clogged the toilet and as it turns out, the plunger I ordered on prime now is useless because I refuse to admit it’s my fault and I told you it’s my friend’s, but you don’t buy it at all and now I’m blushing red as fuck pls stop laughing okay yeah I guess it’s kind of funny do u wanna get dinner” au

“all available staff is staying overnight bc of the inclement weather protocols and we somehow got adjoining rooms and I knocked on the door between us to tell you to shut up and when you opened your side I saw you shirtless and wtf why are you so hot this does not fit with your job here also did I just agree to sit with you at dinner tonight“ au

I’ll be adding to this post in the future if I think of any more. For now, please enjoy the fact that these are based loosely on things that have happened to me and scubadiva irl (except the first one, which is from one of our friends’ stories about uni (she’s the organized/sloppy drunk one lol)).

[amorremanet]

Hiya ! Super late but : 5+ headcanon thingy about...voltron college au if you wanna ? :)

aksfkgdfgh, I did mean to get back to this yesterday, but I got distracted writing and watching House reruns (but the, “give me an AU and I give you 5+ headcanons about it” meme is basically always open, because I am always good to go on AU headcanons)

idk whether to go with the college AU side of the fic that’s actually updating on AO3 or the one college AU that has Hunk/Keith/Lance, Matt/Shiro, Allura/Shay, and Lotor being a pain in the ass because Shiro doesn’t want to date him (and for multiple other reasons, but Shiro not wanting to date him is a big one) — so heck, let’s do both

the AU that doesn’t have a fic at present

Shiro has spent two separate Christmases in the hospital for one reason or another. The first one was when he was in high school: he was working out too hard without actually taking care of himself, putting way too much stress on himself about literally everything (from being allowed to play varsity lacrosse as a sophomore to worrying about his PSAT scores to trying to handle Keith’s first crush for him when Keith literally didn’t ask and just wanted to talk to Shiro about it because he was 13 and didn’t think the guy he liked knew he existed), and after seriously exhausting himself and throwing his electrolytes way, waaay off, Shiro passed out.

The second time was during his sophomore year of uni, and Shiro was so certain that he just had a nasty cold but actually, he was down with pneumonia. And as it turns out, stress from finals week, not eating right, and trying to keep to the same gym schedule that you have when you’re healthy? Not the way to handle pneumonia.

That first time is also the reason why Shiro first started visiting his and Keith’s therapist in a capacity other than, “Shiro had to escort Keith to make sure he got to the appointment and Keith asked him to come into the office too (or possibly emotionally manipulated him into it, maybe both)”

There is probably a 95% chance that Pidge will find a stray cat and try to hide it in her dorm room, despite all of the, “no, you may not have pets in your dorm; exceptions can be negotiated about for disabled students but the rest of you are not allowed to have pets, get over it” rules

When Allura finds out, there’s like a 65% chance that she just won’t report anything as part of an awkward attempt to befriend Pidge

When Hunk/Keith/Lance actually sort out the polyamory thing, Keith is going to want to tell Shiro immediately. The only reason they won’t is that Lance doesn’t believe that Keith can successfully tell Shiro about this by using a Parks and Rec meme — but “successfully” here means, “telling Shiro the thing AND getting him to say the line that is a response to said meme.”

So, they go to Shiro’s room and Keith is all, “This is my boyfriend Hunk and this is Hunk’s boyfriend Lance.”

“Sorry… what’s the situation?” Shiro plays along because he knows that sometimes, you just have to let Keith communicate through borrowed words.

“Hunk is bi and he’s into me, and he’s also into Lance, and Lance is really into Hunk, and I don’t actually hate Lance.”

Hunk: “It’s not that complicated :)”

Shiro: “Okay, but seriously, what is the situation”

Keith: “I’ll tell you everything but only if you say the other thing”

Shiro: “*siiiiiiiiiiiiiighs* …The thing about youth culture is: I don’t understand it”

and then Lance, Keith, and Hunk celebrate because haaaa, Shiro said the thing

Lance really doesn’t mean to be an asshole, most of the time. Like, okay, yes, sometimes, he DOES mean to be kind of an asshole — for instance, when The Paladins get beaten at ultimate frisbee Lotor, Acxa, Zethrid, Ezor, Narti, and Lotor’s coterie of overly similar frat-bro bodyguards, and Lance feels like Lotor definitely cheated somehow despite the complete lack of evidence, so he starts cussing Lotor out and accusing him and the gals of cheating

—but most of the time, Lance just doesn’t really know what to do with his feelings. Especially when a lot of them are things like, “All of the pressure he’s putting on himself to succeed and do well because all his older siblings are awesome and he doesn’t know what he’s good at like they’re good at stuff”

and, “All of his little nieces and nephews look up to Cool Uncle Lance and he wants to be a good role model, and he doesn’t want to let them down and doesn’t realize that the tiny humans love him regardless of how he does at school or what a loser he feels like he is and about the only way that he could ever let them down is if he promised them something and then didn’t deliver on it”

and, “Lance knew that it was going to be hard to leave home and go to school, and he thought maybe it’d be easier because he and Hunk were going to the same place so at least he’d have his best friend — but then he had to room with Keith instead of Hunk, and Keith is THE WORST, but Hunk actually kinda likes Keith and Keith sucks at flirting and Lance feels like he has no right to feel jealous because obviously he’s not in love with Hunk or anything don’t be stupid they’re just best friends and Hunk probably wouldn’t want to be with Lance anyway, and oh god why does everything hurt”

—all of which sort of boils over into Lance crying on Shiro’s shoulder when Shiro tries to sit him down in the Cool RA Single for a Talk about how he and Keith’s mutual antagonism has been steadily escalating (and the whole, “let’s sit all three of us down and hash out your differences and make a plan to handle this” idea went over like a lead balloon because Keith and Lance were both on the defensive, so nothing got discussed in a constructive fashion)

Granted, Lance was on the defensive during the one-on-one chat too, but mostly because he assumed that Shiro was going to take Keith’s side in this by default because they have history together and apparently Hunk is going out with Keith on Friday night so why wouldn’t Shiro take Keith’s side, too

This boiling over of emotion ends with Shiro feeling like he is in way over his head about trying to get Keith and Lance to just…… not even, “get them to be friends,” but, “get them to please stop it with deliberately antagonizing each other, for the love of god, please”

—but also with him going, “Okay, I’m not saying that you need to go to therapy or talk to me about your problems or anything? But if you want to talk to someone, there’s no shame in doing that and it can help a lot, if you let it”

—which in turn results in Lance hugging him tighter and crying a bit more (at least in the short term)

I mean, look, things will get better after this but Lancey-Lance has a LOT of pent-up emotions and Shiro gives nice hugs and says that he doesn’t care about people crying up his shirts, so. We’ll get to an okay place, but Lance has to cry it out first.

Shiro is the only person who doesn’t think the, “world’s okayest dad” mug that Lance and Hunk got him for Christmas is hilarious. He is NOT anybody’s father. Big brother figure — okay, sure, he can deal with that, but he isn’t anybody’s dad, will you please stop calling him that, saying things like, “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” doesn’t make him any shade of paternal okay.

I mean, he drinks out of the mug anyway because coffee is coffee and as long as the coffee gets into his mouth safely, Shiro doesn’t mind what its container looks like. But still. He’s not your dad.

Everyone else still thinks the mug is hilarious, though (well, okay, Keith thought it was funny for a little bit and has since gotten over it, and Pidge only thought that it was mildly amusing and now she wishes that everyone would just shut up about it).

But yes, they get that Shiro isn’t literally anybody’s dad and that strictly speaking, he is more of an older brother figure than a dad — it’s just that nobody makes, “world’s okayest brother” mugs as far as they know, and Shiro still does things like the whole, “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” thing until he tries to put conscious effort into NOT doing them (and even then, he still does them)

So, if you ask anyone but Shiro (and Keith and Pidge), that mug is hilarious

the tall, smart, good-looking AU

Shay organized an anti-M//ilo Y//iannopoulous protest back in February because Dean Zarkon was going to let that fucker come to campus and speak. It didn’t turn into full-scale riots like the protests out at UC Berkeley, but there was nevertheless resistance from the student conservative groups, and although the “presentation” was sparsely attended, it also wasn’t canceled like Shay was hoping to get.

Keith thinks that this is a perfectly interesting story about things that actually matter and doesn’t get why the other people in his creative nonfiction class with Dr. Ryner think he should skip writing In Cold Blood!Capote-inspired reportage about the protested and instead write a fucking BuzzFeed Lives piece about how he had this one abusive douchebag foster grandfather who got bitten by a Texas coral snake and died and it was the best day ever

Kolivan is head of the history department. He’s married to Antok, who is also a history professor, and they have a dog called Rufus. They’ve been calling their relationship status, “married” since 1997 (and they’ve been legally married since 2004, when they took advantage of the ruling in Goodridge v. Department of Public Health to make if official). Here is essentially how their proposal went:

Antok: “The only reason you’re trying to pull away is because you’re too scared to marry me!”

Kolivan: “I am absolutely not scared of anything, I LOVE you! If you truly meant the proposal, then you would stand behind your alleged convictions, so I can only conclude that YOU are too scared to let yourself marry ME and are projecting your insecurities because—”

Antok: “WHY WOULD I PROPOSE AT ALL IF I DIDN’T MEAN IT”

Kolivan: “I DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING DO I LOOK PSYCHIC TO YOU”

Antok: “WHAT DOES A PSYCHIC EVEN LOOK LIKE”

Kolivan: “YOU SAID YOU’D GIVE ME TIME TO THINK IT OVER”

Antok: “YEAH. I AGREED TO A WEEK. YOU’VE HAD THREE. JUST ADMIT IT, YOU ARE TOO DAMN SCARED TO MARRY ME”

Kolivan: “I AM NOT SCARED, I’LL MARRY THE SHIT OUT OF YOU RIGHT NOW”

Antok: “OH YEAH? PROVE IT”

Kolivan: “FINE I WILL *fumbles about trying to put on Antok’s engagement ring and refuses help until he finally gets it right by himself* …There! ……Uh, do you know any jewelers that are open right now or would a Ring-Pop from the bodega on the corner be an acceptable stand-in until morning”

—at least they didn’t have to do that again in 2004. Antok just got home really late on the day the ruling was announced (because he’d had an unexpected hospital visit and had hung around to see if his sister would need him and Kolivan to watch her kids for the night) — which she didn’t, in the end, but it still took a while to decide that it was all okay and he called to say that he’d be late but couldn’t keep up as much as he wanted because cellphones circa 2004……

So, when Antok got home, he found Kolivan asleep on the kitchen table, surrounded by a dinner that had gotten cold, a cake he’d made himself, balloons that seemed totally out-of-place in proximity to Kolivan, one of Antok’s scented candles (which had burned down enough that it was like five minutes from setting off their smoke alarm), and a Ring-Pop because he thought it would be a fun callback to their original proposal

(I mean, Kolivan also had another ring to give his husband and had successfully kept it under-wraps for three weeks because he usually doesn’t let himself hope so much — he would tell you that he always hopes for the best but experience, unfortunately, tells him to expect the worst [and if you get that this is a reference to Deep Space 9, you are Kolivan’s friend now] — but he was incredibly, unusually hopeful about how the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court would ultimately rule in Goodridge v. Department of Public Health)

Anyway, this was all so sweet that Antok just…… didn’t wake his husband up until after he’d gotten his camera and taken a picture for posterity’s sake

—and yet, they still periodically have incidents like, “Antok comes and interrupts Kolivan’s class for, ‘serious department business’ that is actually more like, ‘personal issues that are significant but could have waited until after class’ and Kolivan proceeds to spend seven minutes telling his students about why intra-Departmental romances are a bad idea”

or, “Kolivan forgets his own birthday again and, the next day, Antok starts off his class by calling some historical figure an idiot and yeah okay, maybe it sounds like he’s just picking on Napoleon in order to break down the whole, ‘Seeing these historical personages as Huge Important People, rather than as actual human beings, which in turn makes your scholarship less reliable’ thing… but then he gets to the part like, ‘I mean, if you think about it, Joséphine de Beauharnais probably only had her alleged affairs, if she did indeed have them, because Napoleon was a buffoon who was too absorbed in his work to remember his own birthday after she worked so hard to make it nice for him’ and everybody is just like, ‘oh jeez Kolivan really screwed up this time, didn’t he’“

But their dramatics aside, they eventually calm down, talk, and work it out every time because okay yes, they’re both disasters when you get to know them, but they’re disasters who love each other and care about this relationship

(Still, it is generally agreed that Thace probably made the best call by marrying a therapist who is affiliated with the college literally only because Ulaz is married to Thace, and because he sometimes gets clients referred to him by the mental health folks at student health services)

You know that old Arrested Development bit that goes, “Get me a vodka rocks.” / “Mother, it’s breakfast.” / “*sighs, rolls eyes* Fine, and a piece of toast” — yeah, no, Lotor and Honerva have done that exact bit before

One time when they were in undergrad, Ezor and Zethrid tried to make Lotor watch Arrested Development with them because they thought he’d probably find it funny and it might be like a therapeutic outlet for him. They ignored Acxa’s multiple warnings about how this was a terrible idea and it wasn’t going to work……

When Lotor made it through exactly four episodes before kinda breaking down and demanding to know what was so hilarious about a bunch of horrible, self-absorbed people screwing each other over and treating each other like garbage, these parents don’t even see their children as human beings how is this FUNNY, what the fuck is WRONG with the people who made this show, why does everyone love it so much, THIS IS HORRIBLE WHY ARE YOU EVEN MAKING HIM WATCH IT?

……Yeah, it was all Acxa could do not to tell them, “I told you so”

Mostly she didn’t because having known Lotor the longest means that she’s usually the one who has the easiest time of getting through to him in a constructive, helpful fashion when he’s being an even worse mess than usual, or having some kind of meltdown, or similar

Trying to discuss any of the show’s redeeming qualities with Lotor still will not end well. Because…… no, seriously. The Bluth-Fünkes and their misadventures hit waaaay too close to home for him, and remind him of Zarkon and Honerva most obviously (but also of all the extended family members who he pretty openly hates), and just

Don’t go there

Please for the love of God, I’m begging you: do not go there with Lotor, it’s a terrible idea for everyone

If you want to do any dysfunctional family comedies with him, your choices are Little Miss Sunshine and, “absolutely nothing, that is the only option, you can have Little Miss Sunshine or you can pick a genre other than dysfunctional family comedies”

Keith is going to be slightly confused when he gets to the Battle of the Bands on November 3rd and sees Acxa there. Because they have met before, while they were trying to switch between hiding and fighting back against some of the Conservative student groups that were antagonizing at Shay’s protest, and Keith hasn’t seen her around since then. Mostly, he hasn’t seen Acxa because she isn’t actually a student or in any way tied to the college; she just showed up for the protest because she agreed with Shay about not wanting that fuckhead anywhere near her city

Keith is not going to be confused by Zethrid, when he meets her, but basically everyone else is going to be confused by the fact that the two of them actually get along, because both of them have bad tempers and neither of them is really known for having stellar social skills

They’re going to talk to each other because Zethrid is all, “So how do you know my girlfriend and why did you two just have a sort of awkward moment of recognition” so Keith tells her, and aside from both of them thinking it was totally awesome how Acxa threw a brick at some skinhead and didn’t get caught, Keith is all, “*shrugs* You don’t have to apologize for assuming anything and getting defensive or whatever, I totally get wanting to protect the people you love and being willing to beat the shit out of someone to do it”

Zethrid: “*eyebrow arches because…… uh huh, Keith, you are 5’9” and you certainly look skinny even if you’re pretty strong, so you’ll excuse Zethrid for being skeptical* When have you ever beaten the shit out of anybody in your life, little man”

Keith: “……Do you want a romantically relevant example or my favorite example”

Zethrid: “………idk, let’s say both”

Keith: “Okay, well, the romantically relevant example was this one time in Chicago? Shiro, his old roommate, and I went out to a bar, and when we were all leaving, there were some skinheads going at these other guys. So, Shiro’s pretty drunk at the time and has even less impulse control than I did, and he runs right in to play big damn heroes, which ends up with him getting stabbed. Next thing I know, I’m pouncing this skinhead who’s like about Shiro’s height but built bigger than you, pummeling him because he stabbed Shiro. Apparently, I actually did some good damage before he shook me off, but I was kinda drunk too and got a concussion out of it, and my memory of it is a little fuzzy”

Zethrid: “Okay what about your favorite example”

Keith: “I had this foster one brother who liked to do shit like locking me in the cupboard under the stairs or locking me out of the house for several days so he could fuck his girlfriend. At the time, I also had a crush on this girl I went to school with. I mean, we were like 13 and neither of us had very many friends, so it’s not like we dated or anything, but she had a shitty home-life too and we got along. Anyway, I had her over one afternoon so we could work on a thing for our science class, and Bryce started being an asshole, so I kicked him in the nuts so hard that we had to go to the ER and get them pulled back out.”

Zethrid: “NICE. ……I like you. :)”

Keith: “……thank you? ……I think I like you, too.”

Lotor, probably: “Zethrid, nooooo, don’t like the street rat, please, I beg of you, it’s bad enough that Shiro likes him and Acxa thinks he’s okay, NOT YOU TOO ZETHRID, ZETHRID WHYYYYY”

Shiro and Acxa: “*facepalming forever because: 1. they know that they should encourage their Keith and Zethrid in making friends because they both do that so rarely, but… 2. for fuck’s sakes, why are you two bonding over a shared appreciation for violence, like? sdkffkhr, Shiro and Acxa are not outright OPPOSED to violence but can you two please find something else to bond over… and 3. ugh someone really has to go deal with Lotor before he has a full-blown temper tantrum and neither Shiro nor Acxa wants to be that person tonight, they really, really don’t*”

Coran does more active work with the students as the Assistant Dean of Student Life than Zarkon does as the full Dean of Student Life, but it’s an open secret that Zarkon doesn’t want this job — he’d rather just be the President of the University, but in lieu of that, Dean of Faculty is his ideal position — and that he makes Coran deal with more shit while inventing a bunch of bureaucratic reasons why he can’t do it himself.

Strictly speaking, Zarkon could probably get away with a lot more than he already does if he said something about his Chemistry professor wife being a high-functioning alcoholic while their son is sort of perpetually up at the edge of a meltdown cliff, but that would require him to:

1. acknowledge that Honerva has an actual problem instead of trusting that she totally has it under control because she’s a genius and he’s suspending good judgment because he loves her;

2. take Lotor’s problems seriously instead of dismissing him as a little more than a spoiled brat and an overly entitled pain in Zarkon’s ass;

and 3. care about his family’s actual health and overall well-being more than he cares about what the neighbors think and what the other people on campus think and, in general, about what kind of image his family projects to everybody else

—which means that this is basically never going to happen, since even if one of those things came to pass, the other two almost definitely wouldn’t unless Honerva was like, actually dying right here, right now, and Zarkon could not possibly find a way to escape dealing with the consequences of his bullshit choices and how much familial dysfunction that he’s allowed to fester by not taking any of it seriously, thinking that everyone could handle it fine, etc.

After a mix-up with his scholarships and grants that resulted in him losing his student housing, Keith did a lot of sleeping on campus couches while showering at the campus gym and he somehow managed to convince most everyone that he was totally fine…… until he relied on his old trick of sleeping in people’s cars, broke into Alfor’s, and got caught by Allura (who was his girlfriend at the time) and her fancy diplomat father.

The retort, “I mean, you should be glad to see me, I broke in while sleep-deprived and strung out on potentially heart attack-inducing amounts of coffee, so you clearly need a better security system on your Benz” did not go over well

Like, Alfor appreciated Keith’s attempt at humor, and the point about needing to get the security system checked on his car, and Keith’s sense of self-reliance…… but on the other hand, Allura’s boyfriend was all but passed out in Alfor’s backseat and tried to leave when Alfor offered him one of the guest rooms at their place uptown, so

That was kinda worrisome, yeah

Also not really the best way to meet your girlfriend’s father for the first time

Whoops