#i got so distracted by wanting to make a dick joke sorry yall

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Glitter ~ Jesperi Kotkaniemi

A/N: hey yall how goes it? I’m super sick and have been for like a month and just keep getting worse so that’s fun but I’ve been reading a lot and watching a lot of hockey and I just have to say that Jesperi is like the cutest fucking thing?? like how?? why?? who let this happen?? anyway this song glitter has been stuck in my head for days and I just thought it was cute and This is cute so I mean enjoy. It’s just pure happy cute fluff

I don’t know how I ended up in the situation I was in. I was sitting in Jesperi’s crowded house for a housewarming party. I barely knew the guy but I was really good friends with Nick and he was the one who dragged me over. I had of course seen Jesperi around before and I had talked to him before but we weren’t close by any means. Not that I hadn’t wanted to be, the boy was funny and quite frankly adorable in a really innocent kind of way which made me nervous around him. Tonight was no exception to that, it had been super awkward when I first walked in with Nick, neither one of us really knowing what to say to each other.

It was really warm in the house with all the people inside, it didn’t help that people were leaving the doors open letting the summer heat in as well. I made my way through the sweaty bodies to the kitchen to get a drink. I wasn’t drinking alcohol tonight though, someone had to make sure Nick didn’t die. Even though I’m sure the older members of the team wouldn’t let him get that drunk it still made me feel better to be sober when he was letting loose the way he was. When I got into the kitchen I saw him stumbling around talking to Jesperi.

“(Y/N) come here!” Nick yelled slurring his words. I laughed but went over to them.

“What’s up Nicky?”

“Drink with us?”

“I’m not drinking tonight. You know that.”

“Come on, just one? We’re trying to celebrate Kk getting a house.”

“I’m here to celebrate, I’m not here to get trashed.” I said flicking his forehead making Jesperi laugh and me smile at the sound.

“Ow! You’re boring. I’m going to the bathroom. Talk to Kk. Be nice.”

“I’m always nice asshole.”

“Oh yeah really nice.” he said rolling his eyes leaving the room leaving me and Jesperi fairly alone except for a few drunk people getting drinks.

“This is-” “Are you-” you both spoke at the same time making you both laugh awkwardly.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying?” he asked.

“Um I was just saying that this is a really nice place you’ve got.”

“Oh yeah? Thanks. I really like it.”

“Yeah it’s really cool. What were you trying to say?”

“Oh um I was just going to ask if you were having fun.”

“Yeah I’m having a pretty good time! Sorry for like, crashing the party. Nick just kinda dragged me along.”

“No worries. The more the merrier.” he gave me a big smile and my heart beat a little faster in my chest. The combination of his smile and his accent really did things to my brain. Made it a bit of a puddle not gonna lie.

“How are you liking it in Montreal?”

“It’s okay. Very different still but I think I’m used to it.”

“That’s good I’m glad to hear it.” 

“What about you? I know you didn’t live here very long.”

“How did you know that?”

“Nick told me. Said you guys grew up together in Ontario.”

“Oh, yeah we did. It’s a change but it’s fun. I picked up on speaking french again which was good because I kind of wasn’t good at speaking it anymore.”

“I didn’t know you spoke french.”

“Yeah I was completely bilingual as a kid but as an adult I have trouble speaking the words in a conversation so I’m getting much better at it.”

“That’s cool. I do not speak french.”

“That’s fine. You still speak two languages so you’re still pretty cool I’d say.” I tell him leaning on the counter, bumping my hand against his arm making us both smile.

“Okay if you guys are done flirting now, I’m back. Now a shot?” Nick said loudly putting his arms around the two of you.

“Will taking a shot get you off my dick?” I asked him annoyed.

“Yes.”

“Then fine. Go get some glasses you pain in the ass.”

“We’ll just take one. I’m not really drinking tonight either.” Jesperi said quietly.

“How come? It’s your party.”

“Someone has to clean up later.”

“This is fair.”

“Okay you big babies here are your shots.” Nick said giving us the glasses of clear liquid. We all took the shots and I scrunched up my face in disgust.

“That was gross Nicky.”

“Here I brought you chaser.” he said holding up a bottle of juice for me before handing one to Kk too.

“Thanks bub.” he said to Nick taking a drink.

“Let’s go dance or something.” Nick said dragging me away from Jesperi. I tried to grab at him for help but Nick was too fast and he just watched me get pulled away laughing at me. I danced with Nick for a little while before he got distracted by something else. I was about to leave the makeshift dance floor until Jesperi showed up in front of me.

“My turn.” he said smiling.

“Didn’t take you for the dancing type.”

“I’m not. I can’t dance. But neither can Nick and you dance with him.”

“Never said I wouldn’t dance with you, Jes.” I said moving along to the music again with him. It was a lot of goofing around, neither one of us actually dancing, and definitely not grinding like some of the other party goers. I actually spent a lot of time with him goofing around, the clock was nearing 1am when people started leaving. Carey took Nick back to his place so he could take care of him in the morning instead of me and I was very grateful for that.

Eventually everyone had left except for you. You started helping him clean up and you just kept joking around and getting to know each other. It seemed like suddenly he clued in to what was happening because he got quiet for a minute before speaking up again.

“Um..(y/n) you don’t have to stay or help me clean up, I can do it.”

“I don’t mind helping. I’m having fun with you.” I said smiling at him making him blush.

“I just feel bad that you’re cleaning.”

“Well don’t. If I didn’t want to help I wouldn’t.” I said picking things up until a thought dawned on me. “Oh! I mean I don’t have to help, I’ll leave if you want me to? I’m sorry, I probably overstayed my welcome completely. Especially since I wasn’t exactly invited. I’m so sorry Jes-”

“You didn’t. You’re okay. I want you here.”

“Are you sure?”

“Can I be honest?”

“Yeah of course.” I said putting a solo cup in the garbage bag he was holding.

“I asked Nick to bring you.”

“You did? Why?” 

“I wanted you to come but I didn’t know if you would if I invited you.”

“Jesperi, of course I would’ve come.” we were quiet for a few minutes just cleaning up but it was very awkward. I walked over to where he was sitting and kicked his leg lightly. “Hey you okay?”

“Huh? Yeah good.”

“Sorry you just seem kinda stressed out.”

“I just get nervous sometimes around you. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I get nervous around you too ya know.”

“Wow I’m surprised. You don’t seem nervous at anything.”

“Maybe it’s just you.” I said laughing with him. “Hey do you want to go on an adventure?”

“Adventure? (Y/N) it’s almost 2 in the morning.”

“Yeah come on it’ll be fun.” I reached for his hands and tried to pull him up. I was nowhere near big or strong enough so he just laughed and got up on his own holding my hands.

“What about the mess?”

“It’ll be here when we get back.”

“Okay, lead the way.” he smiled at me and I took his hand in mine leading him out of the house and to my car.

“Where are we going?”

“To a secret fun place!” I said as we started driving down the street. It didn’t take long until we were at the small little parking area on the side of the road. I got out of the car and went to the back grabbing a blanket and lantern. We had stopped at a gas station to get some Timmies and some snacks so he got out and had that bag with him. He took the blanket from me even though I protested.

“Where to now?”

“We walk through the woods.”

“What if we get eaten?”

“Don’t worry Jesperi, I won’t let anything eat you.” except me, I thought quickly shaking my head like an etch a sketch trying to clear the image from my mind. “Let’s go.”

We walked through the forest for a little while before we got to a clearing. In the clearing was an abandoned factory. I pulled down the ladder and started climbing.

“Up we go.”

“Is this safe?”

“I dunno, probably.”

“(y/n) what does that mean?”

“It means technically I don’t know if it’s safe but Nick and I have been here a hundred times and are still fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“We don’t have to come up if you don’t want to. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable Jes.”

“No it’s okay. Let’s go up.”

“Okay let’s go.” I smiled wide and finished climbing up, reaching over to grab the stuff from him so he could come up. I set up the blanket and laid down patting the spot next to me. “Come lay down.”

“Can I have my pringles?”

“Of course you can.” I said laughing getting them out of the bag while he laid down beside me. I gave him the chips and laid down looking up at the stars. We stayed there for a while listening to music quietly on my phone while I pointed out constellations and told him the stories about them. I hoped that he missed the part where I stuttered through a bit of a story because he intertwined his fingers with mine. He didn’t though because when I looked over he was smiling at me almost laughing. His eyes were glittering like the stars and it took everything in me not to get lost in them.

“Don’t laugh at me!”

“I’m not.” he said letting out a small giggle.

“You are so!” I exclaimed laughing with him. I looked over and he was looking at me already making me laugh again. “God you’re too cute for your own good.”

“I’m too cute for your own good.” he joked winking at me.

“Now that’s just the truth.” I said laughing, turning over to face him. I traced his cheek with my index finger making him blush and smile. “Definitely too cute for me to handle.”

“That’s crazy coming from you. You’re so cute. I look at you all the time.”

“So do I. That’s why you make me nervous, you’re just so adorable I don’t know what to do.”

“You are.” he started closing the distance and I sat up Making him groan and laugh.

“No time for that, love. We have a couple more stops before the night is over.” I got up and started gathering our stuff before going over to the ladder and crawling down. Once we were both down and walking through the woods again he grabbed my hand and I just smiled at him as he kissed my forehead. It didn’t take long before we were at a park with a giant hill and a big playground. The park didn’t last very long. He pushed me on the swings and climbed around a little bit on the jungle gyms. It was mostly him just chasing me which was filled with giggles and squeals. I felt like a little kid again being chased by the cute boy I liked and it was such a pure good feeling. Whenever he caught me he’d try to give me a kiss which I would tease him and duck away. He was getting frustrated but I thought it was funny. At one point we had a race to see who could roll down the hill faster. All that could be heard was giggles as we rolled. When I got to the bottom Jesperi was already there. He crawled over and leaned over me.

“I win.”

“Yeah you won fair and square.”

“What’s my prize?” he asked with a smirk holding my hand and playing with my fingers.

“I dunno, what do you want?”

“A kiss.” 

“That’s reasonable I think.”

“I agree.” I pushed myself up leaning close to him for a kiss before last minute brushing my lips on his cheek. He shocked me by bringing his leg over to straddle me and lay on top of me. “Why can’t you just kiss me? Why be such a tease?”

“I wanted to build anticipation.” I said joking around bring my hands up his sides making him shiver. “Besides like I said before, you make me nervous. I’m nervous about this.”

“Don’t be nervous. I just want to kiss you..can I please?”

“You’re so sweet Jesperi. Come here.” I put my fingers in his hair and brought his face down to mine where I kissed his cheek again making him groan louder and roll off of me. I took the opportunity to get on top of him, his hands going to my hips immediately to hold me there. “I’m just kidding baby.”

“Not funny.”

“I’m sorry.” I said holding his face bringing my lips to his finally. His reaction was my favourite. He jumped a little bit and made a surprised noise as if he wasn’t expecting it to ever happen. His grip on my hips tightened and his lips moved softly against mine. I pulled back and gave him one, two, three, four, small kisses and another long one.

“We should have been doing that all night.”

“Well we still have a bit of night left. A race against the sun now though. What do you want to do?”

“I want to go back to my house where I can kiss you more.”

“I would be more than happy to do that baby.” I got up and tried pulling him up but again was too weak but he pretended I had control over the moment, which I appreciated. We went back to the car and drove to his place but the entire way I was distracted by him. He kept holding my hand and yawning and laughing..it was just too much. Somehow we got back in one piece though. We walked into the house and he kissed me again but he had to break the kiss to yawn which made us both laugh.

“Love you’re so tired..”

“I know I usually sleep a lot. I was tired before we left.”

“Why did you agree then?”

“I wanted to spend more time with you. Have an adventure with you.”

“We could’ve done it any time. You could’ve asked me to do anything anytime.”

“I didn’t want to chicken out again and have to come up with another reason for Nick to bring you around.”

“You’re such a sweetheart.” I said leaning up to kiss him again. “But you really should go to sleep now since you’re so sleepy.”

“Maybe you should stay here with me?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Yes.”

“Then okay. Do you have a shirt I could sleep in?”

“Do you need one?” he asked smirking again.

“Whoa now Jesperi, at least buy me dinner first.” I said laughing with him.

“I will. I’ll buy you as many dinners as you want. If you’ll let me of course.”

“Is this you asking me on a date?”

“Many dates.” he corrected with a smile.

“Okay deal. I will go on many dates with you. But first we sleep, because you need it.” I laughed as he yawned again. I let him drag me through his big house until we got to the master bedroom. We got changed and crawled into the massive bed. I cuddled up under his arm wrapping my legs around his.

“I’m really glad you came tonight (Y/n).”

“Me too Jes, me too.”

[cupidoargiades]

fuck a keyboard, you're my type.

A/N - its ur thirsty boy jackson yall :) this was SO easy to write like im not even gonna lie, i love this guy so much like CHRIST not to be nsfw or anything but can he please just h*ld my h*nd ???

-

staring at you from the bar, a rather hot guy smiles at you once the two of you lock eyes, gesturing you to come closer. you look around and point at your chest, as if saying 'who, me?'; he nods yes. looking around once again, you try searching for your friends in the busy crowd to check if they knew the guy, but to no avail; everyone was either having other conversations, playing games, or they were just nowhere to be found.

stepping closer to the guy, he holds up a finger to the bartender, ordering another shot of soju. looking at the empty glasses that were already on the bar, he seems to have already drank a few shots. "hey gorgeous" he says, pushing a stool towards you to sit on. "how come you're all alone on this beautiful night?" he asks.

"oh, just the regular," you chuckle, as the bartender placed your shot in front of you. you nodded kindly at him before turning back to the kind stranger. "you know the drill; got dragged here after a break up to find some distraction, friends left me alone, all that bullshit."

he smiles a little and looks around. "they're not looking out for you, either..? because you're exactly the kind of girl those gross and nasty guys like me would hit on. that's so irresponsible, guys like that are just so- ew.." he says playfully, making you laugh a little as you down the shot of soju with ease. "you're one smooth motherfucker, you know that?" you say, ordering another drink.

"oh- just saying, you ordered more alcohol, so if you get wasted, end up fucking me and regret it in the morning, it's not my business" he says. once again, he makes you laugh so effortlessly like the times before, even though you have only known him for a few minutes.

"shit- i'm sorry, i forgot to introduce myself. i'm jackson. jackson wang" he says, urging to hold out his hand but pulling it back once he mumbles that's too formal. "great to meet you, jackson," you smile, holding up your hand, palm to the ceiling. "give me your phone and i'll tell you my name" you demand.

not even doubting your intensions, he smiles contently and hands you his phone. "you knew what i was gonna do, huh?" you say when you see a new contact on the screen, ready to be filled in. "i'm the master of flirting, stranger." he scoffs as you type in your name and number. taking back his phone, he stares at the letters on his screen.

"y/n, hm? that's a pretty name. it suits you" he says, looking at you, then his phone, and once again back to you. "you think so? why's that?" you ask. "like i said, it's a pretty name, just like you"

a blush paints your cheeks a cute red that compliments your makeup and outfit. he seems to notice this, as he tells you how dope your accessories are. "i love your earrings" he says, pushing your hair to the side to admire the studs lining along your earlobe. "i love your necklace" you nervously respond, pushing the hand that was next to your face and about to touch your ear aside so you could look at the golden chinese symbol hanging from his neck.

"it says 'wang'.. stands for my last name and it translates to 'king'. it's perfect, since i'm a king." he says, boosting his own ego a bit. "what are you a king of exactly?" you ask, staring at the pendant for a few more seconds.

"you. which makes you my servant, and you should do as i say." he jokes, making you scoff. "the king's got some tension right here, hm? can you fix that?"

you sigh and push his hands off of yours. "one more sex-related remark and i will actually start considering not going home with you." you say confidently, making him roll his eyes. "as if i'm not gonna talk you into coming with me anyway." he answers.

the two of you keep on talking for the rest of the evening effortlessly, and as tough and manly as he seems, he's funny, soft and really kind. it's no surprise you ended up in the back of his car at midnight, lips crashed together.

"one second-" you pant, taking your phone to see that one your friends is calling. "it's okay, baby, you're with me now.." jackson groans, pushing your phone down and leaning in to continue the sweet kisses. "no- i really have to get this, they're probably worried sick.." you say. admiring the kindness in your voice, he pulls back with a smile. you pick up after swooping your hair to the side, hearing your friend go off worriedly about how they searched the entire place and didn't find you anywhere.

"yeah- yeah, i left already. sorry i didn't text you," you say, watching jackson twirl a strand of your hair into a shiny wave. "no, it's fine, i've got a ride back home, right?" you ask, looking at jackson. he nods, before taking your phone out of your hand. "hey y/n's friend, y/n's future-husband here.. i just want to say that i'll give her a ride back, on one condition." he says.

you raise an eyebrow, telling him to stop whatever he's doing as you hear your friend cursing at him for being a 'filthy playboy-kidnapper-hybrid'. "sweetheart, it's nothing like that," he sighs, massaging his temples slightly. "she's gonna stay the night at my house. i'll bring her back home safe and sound tomorrow, i promise." he says, before hanging up. you shake your head with a roll of the eyes and a scoff. "you could've just said 'hey, this is y/n's hookup and she's staying over for sex.' but you just had to be a mysterious little bitch about it, huh?" you say, hanging your arms around his neck as you lean in for a kiss.

"you know it, baby" he says, pushing your phone back into your purse before getting back to business in the backseat of his spaceous car. "let's just make sure you forget about your ex tonight, and make you fall in love with me, if that's cool with you" he suggests, pushing the strap of your top down your shoulder.

-

coming down from a second high that night, you collapse on the bed, chest raising and falling from heavy breathing. jackson rolls over to kiss your forehead and lets his fingertips glide over the dark rose petals of red and blue he made over your neck, chest and stomach.

the slightest touch of his seems to burn marks into your damp and sensitive skin; just ghosting over you would make you shiver. "you know, you're not like other guys.." you mumble, turning your head to look at him. his hair's now messy, and a splotchy blush covers his face.

"is that a compliment?" he chuckles, kissing the corner of your mouth and running his fingers over yours before intertwining perfectly. "most definitely.." you say, making him nod confidently. "usually, guys that hit on me just want a quick fuck before ditching me. you're different.., i like that" you say softly, feeling so at home next to him.

"fuck yeah," he smiles. "i'm in it for the long run.. no more hook ups, just love making and real love."

soft buzzing fills the comfortable silence, and you pick up your phone to see it was exploding with messages in you and your friends' group chat.

- friend #1, 1:22

LMAOOO i bet she's getting laid

- friend #2, 1:22

No wtf

She's too prude

- friend #3, 1:22

girl ... r u even her friend ??? shes everything but prude lol

- friend #2, 1:23

I did see her talking with a guy at the bar when I went to the bathroom

Maybe that was the guy on the phone?

- y/f/n #1, 1:23

leave her alone shes getting dick tonight

- you, 1:23

LOOOOL y'all are too much

- friend #3, 1:24

omg y/n how was he

- you, 1:24

SO FUCKIN GOOD

... like- personality wise

lmao no nsfw in this christian household

- friend #2, 1:24

Thank you :)

When are you coming home?

- you, 1:24

didn't you hear jackson ??

he's driving me home tomorrow

... after a date

omg i gtg right now he asked if i wanted to shower

i'll update y'all later

- you, 2:07

dont worry girls, i took good care of her

xx jackson wang (y/n's bf)

[dvp95]

can’t breathe when you touch my sleeve - chapter 10

pairing: dan howell/phil lester

rating: e

warnings: none

tags: alternate universe, slow burn, fluff & humour, tiny bit of inner turmoil wrt sexuality but trust me it’s not that deep, deeper than anticipated but still not that deep y'all this is primarily silly, eventual smut, idiots in love

word count: 4,286 for this chapter (45,795 total)

summary: Dan keeps making a fool of himself in interviews, to the point where it’s basically a meme. Now he’s got to sit down for the better part of an hour and sell his show to the YouTuber he’d had a massive crush on when he was a teenager.

read from the beginning on ao3 or on tumblr!

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

"Daniel?"

Dan blinks. He blinks again, zoning back into the conversation he's supposed to be a part of.

"Er," he says, sheepish. "What was the question?"

"Are you sure you're feeling okay, Daniel?" the woman asks - the interviewer asks, fuck, this is like the sixth time he's asked her to repeat herself. "I heard you were ill yesterday, weren't you?"

He wasn't. But that is what Jaime and Patrick had sworn up and down to anyone who asked, because they're good partners in crime like that. They look like they regret it now.

"Yeah, Daniel," Jaime says, stressing his name in a way that makes Dan think she's one more fuckup from smacking him in the back of the head. He'd probably deserve it, at this point. He can't remember being this scatterbrained in his whole life, and that's saying something. "You sure you're okay being out of bed?"

The word 'bed' gets stressed too, just a bit, and Dan feels a flush creeping up his neck.

It's honestly unreasonable how he can't seem to focus on the task at hand, which is answering softball questions about the show he's worked on for three years, because his mind keeps drifting back to Phil.

Phil, who he'd left in bed with Thor, all sleepy noises and grumpiness at Dan needing to leave. Phil, who has the day off and might still be mostly naked and lazy while he waits for Dan to come back. Phil, who he only has three days left with.

Three more days in London. Two sleeps. And Dan has shit to do every single goddamn day of it.

This is a work trip, technically. They've got a handful of interviews the next two days that couldn't be scheduled for their first London stretch, and then they're going to France. That's exciting, it is, a mark of success that Dan never expected for himself, but right now he's frustrated by anything that cuts into the time he could be using to kiss Phil.

Dan is so busy remembering how Phil's mouth had felt against his that he forgets to answer the question. He can practically feel his eyes glaze over.

"Daniel," Patrick says, audibly exasperated.

It takes a lot to get Patrick to that point, so Dan ducks his head and mumbles another apology.

"He's fine," Jaime tells the very nice and concerned interviewer whose name Dan has long forgotten. "He's just got a lot on his mind right now and he's really shit at multitasking."

"Hey," says Dan. It's a weak protest.

The interviewer is a tall woman with kind eyes that crinkle into laughter lines when she smiles at him. She's dressed casually, has a denim jacket with patches and pins all over it, and Dan feels his eyes linger at the rainbow on her pocket.

What is that like? To be so certain and so confident that you can wear it on your sleeve even in a professional environment? Dan doesn't know that he'll be able to get there.

He wants to compliment her on it. It's the same urge he had in the restaurant with Phil's family, vocalizing that he wishes he could wear more nail polish. The same swirling anxiety of being judged for it follows quickly, but this time it's amplified by the recording device in the interviewer's hand, the knowledge that anything he says right now will be analyzed to death later.

Dan wants to live authentically, and he wants to get to a place where he doesn't need to hide, but he's frustrated by the reality of how much progress that's going to take. It's not going to be easy, it already hasn't been, and it's never going to stop.

Even with making a name for himself and having an audience, Dan knows that coming out publicly still won't stop strangers from making assumptions about him or demanding an explanation for the women he's been seen with. He'll have to come out over and over and - it's scary. It's really scary.

The compliment catches in his throat. He can't say it to someone recording him, no matter how kind her eyes are. He hasn't even told his grandma yet.

"I like your jacket," he says instead. He feels like a coward for it.

"Thanks," the woman says brightly, looking down at herself and tapping one of her bigger patches. "Customized it myself, obviously. It's a wee bit more colourful than you like to be seen in, right?"

The casual chirping helps Dan relax, reminds him that this is a laid-back interview with easy questions. Nobody is shining a heat lamp on him and asking for an expose on how he spent part of last night inside of another man.

He grins and shrugs. "Yeah, alright, I wear a lot of black. Sue me. I can still think colours look nice on some people."

Great. Now he's thinking about Phil again.

"Like Jaime," Patrick offers, tugging at one of Jaime's bubblegum braids. Dan still can't tell if it's a wig or not, but she smacks Patrick's hand away like it's her own hair.

"That's true," says Dan. "Jaime wears as much black as I do, though, I dunno that she's the best example."

Patrick nods, solemn. "At least her hair is interesting."

"Oi, fuck you. Sorry," Dan adds sheepishly. Even though this is an online print interview, he still feels a little bit of shame whenever he slips up and curses during an interview.

The woman - Cara? Catherine? Camilla? Ca-something? - just laughs and waves his apology off.

With an ease that Dan can't help but notice isn't quite as practised as Phil's, the interviewer moves on to questions about their other cast members. While they don't have any trouble making fun of each other, it's even more fun to exaggerate stories of people who aren't here to defend themselves.

Dan tries so hard to participate. He does. He laughs in all the right places and gives Jaime grief for not remembering something right, because he's given this poor interviewer nothing of substance. The thing is that Jaime is better at telling stories and Patrick is so dry and stoic with interrupting jokes that Dan knows he isn't needed for this. He lets them bicker over a story detail that he's long forgotten and feels himself start to zone back out.

He listens to Patrick's slow timbre, Jaime's trill of a laugh, and lets his mind drift back to where it wants to be.

--

Even though it's tempting, Dan isn't stupid enough to text Phil in the middle of doing his fucking job. He has to resort to checking his phone between interviews and pictures, getting more and more pouty about the lack of response to the things he's sending throughout the morning. Phil must be having a lie-in, because it takes him a couple of hours to even see Dan's texts.

ugh i should have just stayed in bed

pls send thor pics

and you pics but like give me a heads up if your dick is out im at work

i dropped my coffee on jaimes lap fml shes gonna kill me

im just so distracted lmaooo

canft believe youre just asleep thats so rude

Oh nooooooo. I always cry over spilt coffee :( you want me to bring you one? I can come hang out for lunch!

The sweet text is accompanied by a photo of Thor asleep on the sofa, his little head pillowed on Phil's knee. Phil is wearing Dan's pyjama pants and - it's hard to tell for sure, with the way the photo is angled, but Dan thinks he's got the Friends shirt on. Frankly, that should be gross. Dan wore that shirt for way too long for it not to smell like, well, his sweat, and that is objectively not sexy.

Dan feels gooey warmth spread from his stomach outwards, anyway. Maybe it is gross, but it makes him happy to think about Phil's shirt smelling like him the way that his own Yeezy shirt still faintly smells like Phil. He covers his mouth with a hand so nobody milling around will see him grinning like an idiot.

thats ok, Dan texts back one-handed. yall look comfy you should stay. i'll b back for dinner and snuggles ok?

Ok! ^_^

God, but Dan wants to be there now. He wants to be the one cuddled up with his head in Phil's lap. He recognises that it's very stupid to be jealous of a dog, but he isn't going to let that stop him.

"Hey, Howell." Patrick's voice interrupts the daydream of slender fingers carding through Dan's hair.

Dan blinks. He blinks again, looks up.

"I didn't even see you sit down," Dan tells him, bemused. They're sharing a bench in the building's lobby, not wanting to go too far in case they need to go back upstairs for more photos during the short break in their day.

"Yeah, you're on another planet," says Patrick. Dan wishes he could argue that fact. "Things went well with your whole Love Actually emergency, then?"

The reference pulls Dan up short. He feels his brow furrow as he walks through the entire film in his head. "What are you talking about? None of this happened in Love Actually."

"It's British, isn't it," Patrick says nonsensically.

"I don't," Dan starts, but then he gives up. He and Patrick are close as coworkers - friends, even - but Dan never quite understands the links that Patrick's brain makes. "It went well. It went really well. I don't know if Jaime told you everything I texted her, but I like... fully ended up meeting the family."

Patrick's eyebrows raise slightly. That's quite a reaction, from him. "You met the parents? Bro. You just started dating."

They're not in an overly crowded area, but people keep waking by them on their way in or out of the building, so Dan is pleasantly surprised to discover that Patrick can play the pronoun game, too.

"Yeah," says Dan. He doesn't want to get into the mix-up right now. He's sure that Patrick will have another incomprehensible reference when he hears about it. "But it just feels... I dunno. Right? In a way other people haven't? Maybe that's obvious."

"It's not obvious," says Patrick. He's snapping a hair elastic around his wrist idly, the gesture something Dan had thought was an expression of annoyance or frustration when they first met. Dan knows now that it means Patrick is tired, that he wants to shove his hair off his shoulders and stop it from tickling his neck. They're only halfway through their day, though, still a couple of photoshoots to get through, so he can't put his hair up just yet.

Dan knows so much about these people. He's learned it all from such close proximity for the past three years, but he also genuinely likes spending time with them. He feels, suddenly, very guilty for wishing cancellation on this thing they've all worked so hard for.

"Sorry," Dan says.

"For what?"

He doesn't really know how to voice it. He shrugs. "For being a shit coworker right now."

Patrick gives him an indecipherable look and shakes his head. "Daniel," he says, "you're not being a shit coworker."

"I kind of am, though," says Dan. "Like I can't focus at all, I'm missing interviews, and I... I don't know how much I want to go back to Atlanta. Is that bad?"

"Why would that be bad?" Patrick hums. "This is your home."

Home isn't an easy concept for Dan to wrap his head around. He hadn't had a happy one for most of his life, hadn't been able to find somewhere that felt quite right ever since he escaped that. So it's a little disconcerting when Patrick's words settle into his chest and feel like indisputable truth.

"London is home," Dan echoes, wondering it it feels just as right coming out of his own mouth. It does. His head is spinning, a bit.

"Yeah," Patrick says, like it's that easy.

Dan gives himself a little shake back into the present. He smiles, wry. "Still, I probably shouldn't be crossing my fingers under tables for the producers to shut us down."

For a moment, Patrick looks confused. Dan is all ready to apologise again, shove those feelings down, but Patrick just says, "So negotiate your contract. You know that you aren't required by law to see the show through to the end, right? You can just not come back for season four, or only come back for a couple episodes instead of a full season."

They're sat in a fairly public area, with other people walking about, but Dan could hear a pin drop in the shattering silence that rings in his ears at Patrick's use of logic.

"I," says Dan, "did not think of that."

Patrick nods. "You kind of tunnel-vision sometimes, has anyone ever told you that?"

--

By the time Dan returns to Phil's building, he's talked himself into and back out of quitting his job a dozen times. It's a dumb decision, but not much dumber than simply waiting for someone else to make the decision for him.

He decides to call Amy when he's in France and talk the options through with her. She's already looking for potential gigs in the UK for him, so hopefully the conversation isn't going to come as much of a surprise to her. The last thing he needs is for his agent to get upset with him over making changes in his life.

Dan's head is buzzing with it, loud enough to give him a headache. He texts Phil that he's outside and waits to be let in. He gets an intrusive domestic fantasy of letting himself in with his own key, and reminds himself to rein in this U-Haul bullshit.

"Hey!" Phil beams as he opens the door and steps back for Dan to come in. Other people live on the other floors, but Phil still leans in for a long kiss the moment the door closes behind Dan.

It sends sparks up Dan's spine and quiets some of the unending noise in his head. He sighs, leans into the kiss, wraps his arms around Phil's waist to pull him even closer.

He's cognizant of where they are, though, so he pulls back to rest their foreheads together after a moment. "Hey yourself."

"Did you have a good day?" Phil asks, his tri-coloured eyes bright and unguarded.

"Yeah, but it's better now," says Dan. He's parroting what Phil said to him yesterday, and he can tell that Phil recognises it from the little smile on his face. "You look nice. You showered just for me?"

Phil laughs and tugs at Dan's wrist, pulling him down the stairs. They've got four left feet between them, honestly, so it's a miracle nobody takes a nosedive.

"Yeah," he says as they narrowly avoid any number of broken bones. He presses Dan against the wall next to his front door and grins at him. "But it was also for the judgey moms at the dog park. You look nicer, you didn't take the makeup off?"

To be honest, Dan had forgotten it was even on his face. He settles his hands on Phil's hips and smiles. "They made me look like the best version of me, why would I erase all their hard work?"

"Mm, you do look pretty," Phil says, and Dan is lucky to have his back against a wall. His knees might have actually buckled at the praise if he was unsupported.

"Pretty, huh?" Dan asks. He tries to keep his tone dry, like it's a big joke, but Phil's big eyes just see too much.

"Very pretty," says Phil. Dan doesn't know how to handle being complimented by Phil's deep, sincere voice, but he isn't given much of a chance to react before Phil is speaking again. "But I don't know that I'd call this the best version of you. You looked really nice when you came, y'know."

"Fuck, Phil," Dan laughs, a little breathless. "I was literally gone for ten hours."

"Ten hours too many," Phil grumbles.

Dan laughs again, but he has to admit that Phil has a point. The day had absolutely dragged on with the knowledge that his probably-boyfriend was waiting for him.

"You wanna go inside, then?" Dan suggests, running his thumbs just under the hem of Phil's clean shirt. "I'll do a lot of things, but this floor is cement, mate. I'm not blowing you out here."

The giggle that's surprised out of Phil makes Dan smile so wide it hurts his cheeks. He smacks the center of Dan's chest lightly and steps back to let them both into his flat. "I was thinking we could, like, order dinner first or whatever, but I'm not going to complain if you want to switch up the itinerary."

"The itinerary," Dan mocks, looking around for a ball of fluff running directly at them as he struggles with his shoes. "Uh, where's Thor?"

"Uh," says Phil. There's colour high in his cheeks that he tries to hide by flopping onto the sofa. The sweats he stole off of Dan don't really leave much to the imagination at all, not when he's sitting like that, and Dan almost loses his balance when he stands up straight. The pink doesn't leave Phil's face, but a knowing smirk joins it. "He's in the bathroom."

Dan's heart skips like an old CD player and he laughs to mask just how fond he is. "Uh huh, and here you are acting like you were really ordering food first."

"Well," Phil says, his smirk growing, "we could still order first, it'd be at least twenty."

"Sounds like a challenge," Dan hums, coming around the sofa to sit on the other end and lean forward, kissing the sliver of skin where Phil's shirt is riding up. "Why don't you do that, and I'll go get a bloody condom."

Phil blushes, proper blushes, and pulls a packet out of his pocket. "Ta-da," he jokes, weakly. "For my next trick -"

"If you say you're going to make your penis disappear," Dan says, flat, "then I'm walking out."

They just look at each other for a long moment, like a staring contest neither of them initiated, and then Phil snorts. That sets them both off and soon enough they're laughing, Dan's nose tucked against Phil's hipbone and Phil's hand over his mouth.

"I wasn't going to say that," Phil insists, still giggling. "I wasn't."

"Sure you weren't." Dan grins up at him and slides up his body, a little less graceful than he'd imagined it in his head. He presses their smiles together and licks into Phil's mouth. A little noise passes between them when Phil's hands find their way into Dan's hair, but Dan isn't sure which of them it comes from.

The giddy feeling of laughter doesn't leave Dan's chest. He lets it make a home there as he trails kisses all over Phil's long, pale neck. He doesn't need to guess when Phil likes something - he squirms and makes these little huffs of noises, grip on Dan's curls tightening just a bit before it loosens again. It feels impossibly powerful to learn how to take Phil apart like this, like they're teenagers snogging on the sofa in their first relationship.

It's strange that this does feel like a first relationship for Dan, in a lot of ways. He loved his first girlfriend and cared about other women he's dated, but it's not the same at all.

Finally, Dan is allowed to feel all the things he's supposed to have felt when he was younger. He's allowed to let budding affection and lust and friendship all wrap up in one person.

"So, the piercings," Dan murmurs, letting his hand slide up Phil's shirt to toy with one of them.

"What about them?" Phil asks. He already sounds impatient and needy, like he had last night, and the sound of it goes straight to Dan's dick.

Dan laughs and sits up, helping Phil get his shirt off over his head. "I mean, do they do things for you? Do they feel good when I touch them? How do you want me to touch them to make them feel good?"

"Do you always ask this many questions during sex?" Phil asks, dry.

There's no point in lying. "Yeah, I tend to babble." Dan gives him a winning smile and taps at Phil's hips, a silent request for him to lift up. Phil does happily, arching up for Dan and letting his stolen sweats get tugged off. "Guess you'll have to shut me up somehow."

Phil laughs, muffling the sound of it with his palm, and shakes his head. He looks so fucking gorgeous like this, giggly and naked and starting to get hard against his thigh. Dan has no idea how he got this lucky.

"That's such a terrible line," Phil informs him, grinning wide. He doesn't seem bothered by Dan being dressed when he isn't. He just settles back against the cushions and wiggles a bit, either trying to get comfortable or just teasing Dan. Either is possible at this point.

"It's not a line," Dan protests, shrugging his jacket off and settling back between Phil's legs. He presses his mouth to Phil's soft tummy and, unable to help himself, blows a raspberry.

Phil kicks out at him, instinctive, and his tongue is trapped between his teeth as he tries to hold back giggles.

"My nipples aren't sensitive," Phil tells him, voice wavering with some combination of amusement and arousal. He drops a hand to wrap around his own cock, thumbing at the metal on the tip of it. "This is. It, like, tugs. It's nice."

Biting back a groan at the sight, Dan digs around for the condom. He impatiently knocks Phil's hand out of the way to get him hard enough that he can roll it on. The piercing just above his balls settles nicely at the bottom of the latex, almost like it's holding it in place. Dan rolls it between his fingers, watches Phil's eyes flutter closed. "And this one?"

"Not as much. Still good, though." Phil's tongue darts out to lick his lips, and Dan grins at the unconscious reminder of what he's meant to be doing.

It's not the most comfortable for them to be laid out on the sofa like this, lanky as they are, but Dan isn't nineteen anymore. His knees do not hold up the way they used to. He wraps his hand around the base of Phil's cock and lets the tips of his fingers idly play with the metal bar as he finally gets his mouth on Phil.

Dan isn't used to the taste of latex accompanying a blowjob, but it isn't unpleasant. He gives Phil a couple of long licks and then sucks lightly at the head, not sure how much pressure Phil likes yet.

That's something he thinks he'd love to learn. He wants to know everything about Phil's body, wants to make him tremble with it.

Dan is extremely offended when he glances up and sees that Phil is tapping something on his phone, but the offense settles when Phil huffs a laugh and says, "Put in for takeaway. All yours, now."

The phone gets put down and Dan tongues at the bump of Phil's Prince Albert ring through the condom. That makes Phil's breath hitch, his hips jerk just a bit.

It's been years since Dan has had a cock in his mouth, but he likes to think it's like riding a bike. He takes Phil deep, hollows out his cheeks, repeats any motion that makes Phil let out soft groans. He forgot how much he likes this, fuck.

Much like everything else, it's somehow impossibly better with Phil.

Phil keeps a hand in Dan's hair and braces the other on the back of the sofa, breathing hard, and Dan doesn't want to close his eyes and miss a fucking moment of this.

"Fuck," Phil breathes, and Dan responds with an answering moan around his dick. "Yeah, alright, that's - fuck, Dan, you feel so good, look so pretty like that."

The praise still makes Dan shudder. He sucks Phil harder, feeling the weight of Phil's cock on his tongue as he speeds up his movements.

Dan remembers blowjobs to be pretty fast. He also never gave one to a man older than twenty, though, and his jaw starts to ache once he realises that Phil isn't going to be pushed over the edge as quickly as he's used to.

He pulls off to give his jaw a break, stroking Phil and pressing his open mouth along the side of him.

"You think I feel nice?" Dan laughs, pleased by the way the gust of air makes Phil's cock twitch. "Fucking, forgot how good this feels."

"Yeah?" Phil prompts, his voice deep and breathy and so, so nice to listen to. No wonder he's so successful on the radio. "You like sucking cock?"

Dan shivers. "Yeah," he says. He's unashamed, because he feels safe here with Phil. He can admit to liking a cock in his mouth, a hand in his hair, being called pretty. "Yours specifically, though."

Phil laughs. "That's good. I like specifically your cock, too." He looks over at his kitchen for a moment and raises his eyebrows. "I'll get dressed and answer the door when the pizza gets here if you can make me come in the next five minutes."

Well. Never let it be said that Dan Howell backs down from a challenge.

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

I low-key wish there was a dating app that had a test ranking system similar to okc, but I wish it would include a personality test, test on love languages, and any psychological stuff that could detect someone's attachment style and trauma too.

Because me and Taty had a 97% or 95% rate and she was the nicest girl I ever dated or been involved with, the only thing was she close to asexual without even knowing because of her lupus, she was practically treated, belittled, and talked to like a child because she still was technically under her Grandmother's roof and care, like she said 2mths in that she would even move with her grandma if she moved, because Taty can't really get a job because of her lupus. It practically controls her whole life, her mood, her attachment to me and later unattached because her lupus started to get bad and her depression kicked in more. She was always either slow to know things or hardheaded to where she thought she knew everything she needed to know, as if she just didn't have to do it because she didn't wanna do it. Especially if it were something as important as making her doctors appointment, her mom did that. And homework so she could get her GED, she didn't really care about that either. Just her friends and family 1st, her dogs, her cats, her obnoxiously, controlling sack of shit personality of a pig that lived in the house in her grandfather's room, with which he had the hay box and dirty ol mattress he slept on in there. It was basically his litter box....and he didn't give a fuck if you were walking by or going into the kitchen, he would block the walkway and then snort at you all loud like how dare you disturb my slumber. They treated him like a king and let him get away with everything just because he was a pig, as if he didn't know any better....and I'm starting to think maybe thats how her family treated her all these years. That she could get away with anything just because she had lupus. They thought it was ok. Even i noticed that her friends tend to not only baby her, but keep her in a submissive state where they control everything they do together and Taty saw nothing wrong with it. Even when they were playing dnd, I noticed that her main leader friend, considered the mom of the group, practically had her bf control the board, so she or one of his liking could win. Like last minute switchups, last minute rules...oh you can't do that, you got swamped by the bats or something...and taty would just except her losses. "You died" and she would say "what, oh, darn"

YOU IDDIOOOTTT SHEE CLOWNEDDD YOU.

But I would ask her babe, how did you lose?

And she would say, "I guess I just didn't do..."

And then slightly chuckle.

And then her leader friend, the mom of the group would laugh about it with her bf, rubbing it in.

I think their dnd game was not made to be fair. That's the main reason why I didn't want to play. Because they were gonna just jump me in without telling me all the rules and how to play. When practically the game's been already rigged. The bf chooses the outcome. And me being the newbie, you're gonna teach me the way so that I can't win, can't overthrow, so you can clown me too like you did your own friend, my gf. Now ex.

Nah, I'm good. Yall have fun jokingly tryna make each other submit and joke about each other's vulnerabilities. Because I don't care how long you've known somebody, if I see some shady shit and then you just take it, go la-di-da who cares, and I'm watching this shit go down, I'm gonna say something. Cause 1, friends don't do that. They shouldn't bring up your mother being an abandoning person at the dinner table in front of everybody, and she shouldn't keep beating you up about not having a job yet and she knows you've been struggling because not many people hire you if you have an illness that cancels your plans every so often. And I don't like the fact that she kisses up about it after, if somebody was to call her out, and then she does it again.

Like your friends, aren't all that supportive and as positive as she says she's being, its actually rubbing the wrong way into unsolicited advice, when she really needs to check herself and wonder why she likes poking into other people shit, when she hasn't even cleaned up her own shit 🤔

Like I'm glad I never revealed anything as personal about me to her friends, because Lord knows I would have had to check her if she brought it up later to the table to discuss as if my personal background was made the TMZ news to discuss. Like bitch I didn't ask for your fucking opinion, why don't you talk to your bf, I mean husband, about the reason why you needed to get a gf less than a year after yall got married.

Sex ain't good enough for ya? Or are you only 40% into dick, 60% into females? Because her ass was even telling everybody about how big my boobs were the 1st night I met this chick and then she says I'm just joking, haha, don't listen to me.

With her lying ass 🤣 wtf is wrong with your friends Taty. I hope you have fun being her lil bitch, cause she gonna try to control you too. Probably not even thinking that, Taty doesn't even have sex with her gf like that or touch her....hmmmm maybe she'll like me and fuck me better?

Yup, dumbass. Taty's extremely low libido comes from her lupus, trauma, and fear around being a child and being emotionally intimate with men in her family who have hurt her. Didn't find that out till later, but it explains alot why it felt she was always tryna distract herself from her problems with just stuff to do, and hanging out with her friends. But we only had those few grownup discussions about what's been going on and why she's been feeling distant or emotionally numb around certain things. I practically had to squeeze it out of her, cause I don't like accepting answers like idk. No, fucking talk. Don't leave me guessing or having to figure out wtf is going on, having me all stressed out, emotional, petty, and confused because yo crazy ass don't wanna fucking talk to me.

And I hate being ignored. Send me my fucking hoodie back 😤 i sent you yours back, paid $10 in shipping, and even after I just told you about what happened to me with my mom. Right after you said oh,no sorry about what happened. Then next day asking for your hoodie back. You don't give a fuck about me and it shows. Even during the relationship, you put me last.

Fuck off and send me my shit. Everytime I ask you, you say oh, I forgot. Even when you asked me the 1st time to meet up with you, I went to the spot and you forgot. Said you slept in, like a lazy fuck. And you want me to jump up and do like you ask, go all the way to your mother's house and you can't even do the same for me. Fuck you.

And even when I tried to even be friends with you after, you wanted to be petty and bring up yo dumbass, Junie b Jones, looking tinker bell on crap, looking friend, whose marriage you practically begged me to help you buy a gift for and go see it....that you two are together, and you're her side chick??

Wtf is wrong with you, bro. Have a great fucking life 🖕 I'm buying me an even better MSU hoodie, because I'm alumni... and that hoodie yo dumbass probably got dog fur all fucking over it since yall never clean the house, vacuum, and clean the nasty, dirty dishes with real antibacterial soap, not shampoo. Fur all over the mf house, except grandma room because she got enough sense to actually clean her room and her ass with a towel. I couldn't believe this bitch had the nerve to know that I was coming over and didn't even take a bath for 2-3 days and I didn't find out until after I ate her out on her dog fur covered bed. I'm so glad we didn't have sex after that one and only time because yo nasty ass could had me licking dirty pussy and dog fur. And the shit was gamey and sweaty. I got so tired of saying "that's ok" knowing good and damn well I needed her to correct her actions cause I kept getting pissed.

I ain't shutting my mouth no more. And no i don't have to settle

[elementalheroneos]

Why do u care so much about killing stalking if u don't like it tho? Why don't u just ignore it? Not being mean just wondering

Ok so this is going to be long bc the whole “Don’t like it? Ignore it.” shtick has annoyed and frustrated me for months and I’m just going to vent it out now. I’m sorry anon if this comes off as angry bc it’s not directed at you, but again, this has bothered me for months now and I feel like more people are just going to say this until I put all this out there.

Also if this ends up in the main tag bc tumblr is a broken website: I don’t care what any of you nasties think and I don’t want to interact with you, so why don’t you all help me ignore it by blocking me and moving on.

TLDR tho: Ki////ing Sta///king makes me extremely uncomfortable and seeing people support it and the abuse in it scares me. I’d love more than anything to be able to ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist, but because of its popularity, it is impossible to avoid unless I completely change my life. So because I have to be exposed to it against my will, I’m going to grit my teeth and express discomfort with vent posts on the internet and involve myself with people who also dislike it.

If I were to try and ignore it tho, I would pretty much have to delete all social media and avoid most of the internet.  Tumblr has recommended blogs about it to me, the main tag trends when it updates, i’ve gone into tags completely unrelated to the manhwa and seen crossover stuff, when it came out I had to unfollow 15 people who posted it, just a week ago someone who posted it followed me (despite me having it in my byf to not follow me if you enjoy it), people have interacted with my posts with icons of the characters, and so on and so forth.  As far as I remember I’ve only directly gone looking at the main fandom/character tags on tumblr/instagram about 6 or 7 times since it became popular.  One was when I first heard about it and was looking through the tag to see wtf it was. 2 or 3 were because I got into such a distressed state that I was trying to block as many people who supported it as I could so that they would never interact with me. 1 or 2 were to actually know what was going on to have an informed opinion. And the last one was bc y00bum-in//drag was saying that no one said anything like my vent post so I searched keywords to get screenshots. Beside that the only time I willingly look at it is also if someone’s blog pops up on a post on my dash who is a fan I might look at it for a moment because it’s already there in my face.

I really don’t actively look for that shit tbh it’s more it finds me. And the same goes for instagram and facebook and even I think I saw someone with a character dragon/icon on flight rising??? And uhh instagram allows you to block zero tags so guess how many times it’s come up there with cosplayers (and guess how many had self harm sfx makeup that freaked me out :) ) I’ve also had people message me/my friends about cosplay advice and commissions and saw posts about it on their blogs. 

I cannot avoid it at all on the internet, and to an extent the same thing goes for irl. I enjoy cosplaying and want to use as a springboard for my dream career in costume design and construction. I also work for an anime vendor booth and go to almost every con in my state and even some out of states.  My boss knows zero about k////s and tbh he wouldn’t care about what it was/if me and my friends who also work for him were made uncomfortable by it.  So when cosplayers show up to our booth, we can’t just leave to avoid them. We can’t tell them to leave because were extremely uncomfortable either. It’s basically a retail job so we have to smile and help sell things to them. One con for 2 days straight a pair of sang///woo and yoon////bum couple cosplayers kept coming back to our booth every 2-3 hours and hanging out for 20 minutes straight because we were the only booth at that convention selling yoi merchandise. Our boss even encouraged us to keep trying to get them to come back and buy more since they spent so much money. It was honest to god awful??? Like all three of us just kept praying they’d leave and not come back every time they showed up cause we did not want to see them. Esp when they would also loiter by our booth to talk to friends and do shippy things and joke about the abuse in the comic. 

I also was talking to a really popular cosplayer once who also is uncomfortable with k////s and he told me that a yoon//////bum cosplayer ran and tackled him at a con and damaged his cosplay. Or I had the scare of my life when I was going under a table to sort through the boxes and I came up to a yoon////bum cosplayer right there with wrist bandages and felt uncomfortable for the rest of the day.

And also umm going off that and onto a semi tangent: do you have any idea how many k/////s cosplayers love using self harm as a prop????? Ever since the chapter with self harm came out I have yet to see a yoon////bum cosplayer without wrist bandages (bloody or not) including that one that kept coming back for 2 days which is god awful. Esp considering one of my friends who works at the booth is extremely triggered by that stuff.  Anytime we see yoon////bum cosplayers now we have to go out of our ways to avoid our friend seeing it by either getting them to switch tables or trying to distract them all while WORKING and helping customers. And ofc one with bloody wrist bandages went right up to their booth one time when they weren’t looking and when my friend looked back bc they realized a customer was there they had to sit and help them purchase something before going to the bathroom because they were having a panic attack and needed to get away from that. And ofc the rest of us had to cover for them and pretend to our boss they were just taking a bathroom break. So uh yeah not fond and if you think I can ignore that….. what world do you live in???? It’s in my face on the internet and at cons I attend to enjoy and at my job.

Even though this has gotten super long I’m going to say this one thing before someone jumps on my dick for it: “But Ceili, why do you follow/interact with anti k////s blogs???? Lmao you secretly enjoy it/want to see it” Bc like I’ve said above, I have zero way to completely ignore it. If I’m going to be forced to see it against my will, I want to see it through people who also hate it bc its a huge comfort to know that some people don’t get off to the abuse and torture of a gay man and think its disgusting as well. I’m not going to just internalize and try to pretend I’m not disgusted and uncomfortable for the sake of protecting poor k//////s fans’ feelings. I’m going to vent about it and I’m going to talk to other people about why I hate it because it helps make me feel safer and allows me to get shit out. Anti blogs also talk about the contents of the manwha so that I can stay informed without reading it/having to see posts about it because if you dare try to criticize it and say you dislike it without reading it every fan jumps down your throat with “Youre making assumptions!!!!! You don’t actually know anything!!!!! Stop lying about my favs!!!!!” I also sometimes like reading anti’s posts bc there are times where I have problems articulating my feeling so seeing someone else write it out more cohesively than I can helps me sort things out so that I’m not thinking as much about how I feel and what I’m trying to say about this garbage bc someone already said it. And also if a fan is saying something extremely nasty, yes I’m going to sometimes jump in bc I’m at that point already upset and angry.

So yeah again: I legit cannot ignore it and once I see it I can’t stop thinking about it until my discomfort passes which can either be for a few minutes or a few hours depending on the situation. Unless all fans go and keep their content super private and dont put it out there which yall will never do, we’re at a stand still and if you want me to not continue to talk about this block me and dont interact bc I want to move on with this and be done already.

[gulescamisade]

Alaska: Day 6

DAVE: -at this point, he's probably right up against karkat and mituna. karkat for the purposes of comforting him, and mituna because he's the warmest motherfucker here. and daves likely warmer than mituna, so win-win. he's wide awake, shivering, in an undershirt and boxers. His head is pounding although he feels tired, the dizziness still very much a thing, so much that it's making him sick. he's doing everything he can to stay grounded, which means highly relying on emotional defenses he used a long time ago. GOTTA KEEP GOING. GOTTA STAY ALIVE. even if he feels like he's going to puke-

MITUNA: -His left arm is essentially just for show by now. After it essentially breaking against the wing of a buzzard his arm being separated at the joint entirely, it was useless. Well except for consistently reminding him that he's in excruciating pain. Dave moving causes lava to fire through his nerves, making him scream awake and vomit from pain. These megaman boxers do nothing.-

DAVE: -widens his eyes at the scream and vomiting and turns to look at mituna incredibly apologetically- s sorry

DAVE: k kind of a d dick way to s say s s sorry but i r really am

MITUNA: -He sniffs, wretching a little before regaining what little composure he has. At least this pain distracted from the screams in his head. He doesn't think he could bear hearing Terezi rn-

MITUNA: a7 lea57 i know i75 57ill a77ached hehe FUCK

MINDFANG: -With their talking shes starting to stir from what could supposedly be called sleep, not that she had been able to get more then a few minutes now and then. Shes not far from the pile of boys and she opens her one eye to look at them.-

DAVE: hahaha yeah -he's not quite sure he can make it out of this without frostbite. damn his vulnerable human anatomy and his fucking back which is making it hard to move at all- so

DAVE: anyone got a p plan

MINDFANG: I have.... 8een considering...options. -Takes a short breath in between every few words.-

MITUNA: 5park5 are 57ill ou7 of commi55ion

MITUNA: really 5hor7 lived -Leans more on Dave even though holy shit this hurts. Get this warmth-

MINDFANG: My powers are.... also... still unavaila8le. MINDFANG: I attempted....using them while.... you were sleeping. -Directed at Mituna. Yes she tried to pry into your mind, but sadly to no avail.-

MITUNA: dick move

DAVE: ch challenge one of those asswipes to a r rap battle -chattering teeth- h hey whos that one g guy who l likes troll p pokemon

MINDFANG: Smart actually.... If it.... worked on you... then i could consider...trying it.... on... our guards.

DAVE: ho dont do it

MITUNA: youre 7hinking abou7 7av and ruf

MINDFANG: I just said I cant-- -She hisses and then cringes immediately after. Instant regret her ribcage is onfire.-

DAVE: hey maybe if we just g glue ourselves to each o other we can have o one functioning b body

MITUNA: wi7h wha7 dildo hole

DAVE: good question

MINDFANG: Do you...have...an answer?

DAVE: fuck no

MINDFANG: Then your idea...is useless.

DAVE: d did they also j jack up your s sense of humor

MINDFANG: No, 8ut you seem... to have never had any to 8egin with.

MINDFANG: Also...Fuck jokes right now.

DAVE: burned

DAVE: iced

NYALAH: -with as much blood loss, the trauma of injury that her body has endured, and the lack of treatment, Nyalah is quite literally struggling to be alive right now. The only indication that she ISN'T dead is the shallow tick of her pulse. Otherwise, her blood matted body remains bound and crumbled. Too still against the frozen, terrible conditions of their imprisonment.-

MINDFANG: Refrain from mentioning...ice. -Shes shivering already. Underwear and tanktops do not make for good snow gear.-

DAVE: fire

DAVE: -poor nyalah... he wishes he could help her-

MINDFANG: -Please dont die Nyalah, thats a lot of bodies.-

MINDFANG: 8etter.

DAVE: you know what would be cool

DAVE: having a robot limb

DAVE: hows that workin out for you serko

MITUNA: i could u5e one righ7 abou7 now

MINDFANG: -Shes staring so hard at dave right now.-

MINDFANG: -Maybe if she thinks hard enough he will choke on his own spit.-

MINDFANG: If we survive this...

MINDFANG: Ill 8e certain you get one.

DAVE: thanks

DAVE: youre the real mvp

MINDFANG: You are welcome.

NYALAH: -at some point, her breathing is becoming rapid pants. Limbs twitching with tiny convulsions.-

MITUNA: 5hi7

MINDFANG: -Nyahla gains her attention. Oh dear, looks like the cat isnt going to survive after all.-

MINDFANG: -She frowns. Its really a terrible way to go.-

MITUNA: no no no no no no no -Flops and starts trying to inch to her-

DAVE: anybody know anything medical DAVE: that might help DAVE: -also attempts crawling toward her. Shit his back is SCREAMING-

MINDFANG: Not...without the supplies to...8ack it up.

MINDFANG: -She looks away from Nyalah now, out of respect.- 8e 8etter off ending her suffering.

DAVE: wheres her main injury coming from

DAVE: where is she bleeding out the most -he is working his way out of his under shirt, ripping it with his teeth so he can get it off. he may just have to use it to warm her-

NYALAH: -that would be the stapled gash from the vulture beak on her side. It's been agrivated as they were tossed around and not exactly been allowed to heal. She even lies on her belly as an unconscious attempt to guard it. And with the blood that had seeped from the crushing of her horn, things were not looking up for her.-

DAVE: -he decides YES he will use his shirt to warm her, and just kind of identifies her injuries so he doesn't hurt her, laying the torn shirt over her curled body and positioning himself so he's against her where it's least harmful-

MITUNA: -Gently flops over her to keep her warm-

NYALAH: -after a half hour of difficulty, her breathing begins to stablize and she passes out once again. Still breathing.-

DAVE: -we're doing good. mostly-

NYALAH: -it's another half hour before she starts to stir. Sniffing at the bitter air. What might be Dave's hair.- (hff)

NYALAH: (daven)

DAVE: no the better d dave -ITS SO COLD BUT SHES AWAKE AND TALKING THATS GOOD-

NYALAH: ....none better d than daven only ask him -It's strange. She's not so raspy or slurring at her words like she usually is. Could be she hasnt had nip in a while or. Who knows. She curls closer to him.- huddle

DAVE: ok thats t tmi but yeah huddle -WARMTH-

NYALAH: -shift shift. There's someone draped on her.-

MITUNA: -hisses- ow fuck

NYALAH: wait

NYALAH: -slowly starts to pry herself to sit, regretting her own actions but. She's gotta.- psion

NYALAH: -sniffs him.-

NYALAH: dislocation? -asking for a friend. She's sitting up more now, face scrunched up in pain. There's still a considerable welp on her cheek from being slapped around.-

MITUNA: -Groans- yeah and i 7hink i75 broken below the elbow his arm is having a bad time-

NYALAH: kay -hffs, starting to shrug off Dave's shirt. Using only her toes, she stuffs the rag into Mituna's mouth.-

NYALAH: stay -Now bringing her feet over to set by his shoulder. The contortionist cat. Keeps him in place.- sorry in advances

NYALAH: -and then applies a swift force to snap the joint back into place.-

MITUNA: -His scream dies in his gag. She's forced in back in place but disturbed the stab wound that caused the dislocation in the first place, blood gushing from his shoulder.-

NYALAH: shhhh -picks the shirt from his mouth and presses it against the wound. Brow furrowed in concentration. Even using that much force was agrivating her own wound.- n33ds catalyst

MITUNA: oh my fucking FUCK

NYALAH: lay still -doing her best to staunch the ooze of blood. Eyes bright with pain.-

DAELOS: - swings back into consciousness. he wasn't even aware he has slipped in the first place, he's so cold. he can't believe what he's seeing at first, Nyalah moving around after sustaining such heavy injuries. His snorty breath coming out in puffs as he drags himself over.-

[[ The Expunger isn't around currently, and the legislacerators that are there don't seem to be doing anything to stop their talking or mending one another. One of them simply watches. ]]

NYALAH: -puts her whole blood stained paw foot on Daelos's face.- alive

MITUNA: -Choking back sobs, the air stinging his cheeks- 57op moving dunka55

DAELOS: - Shocked for a second, and then kisses that bloody foot- I can see that

DAELOS: - He has nothing to offer but his weight. He leans it in to help her with Mituna-

DAELOS: - It should make things go faster-

NYALAH: -gross. Totally helping Mituna spoon with Daelos.-

MITUNA: -Jesus Christ his world is on fire. It's hard to tell if the screaming in his head is his or the voices-

DAELOS: - Gently crushes you-

NYALAH: -looking that one Legislacerator in the eyes as she attempts the wiggle her biocuffed arms under her butt. Gonna sit on these arms and manuever them up to her front.-

SEAKRAIT: -watches her do this... and the other legislacerators are too preoccupied looking out around them. She doesn't do anything to stop Nyalah.-

NYALAH: -okay cool. Uses her still bound front paws to keep pressing the shirt to Mituna.- NYALAH: sp33k to me

MITUNA: 7hi5 big blue 7ain7fuck i5 colder 7han fi5h nook

DAELOS: Rude... e%ceedingly rude -he will keep lovingly crushing u tho-

NYALAH: best things in life are cold as fish nook NYALAH: fur example NYALAH: fish nook -chirring as best she can. Comforting.-

MITUNA: -Maybe one day...he will know-

NYALAH: -Pls.-

MINDFANG: -Yall are being gross.-

DAELOS: - Scandalized snort. - Really Nyalah

NYALAH: its survival

MITUNA: -Wonders how Feferi is, suddenly-

FEFERI: -Pretty glubbing dead! Like always!-

MITUNA: -Lol get rekt-

NYALAH: -keeping her arms close to her middle, she is giving these biotech cuffs a careful look ver.-

NYALAH: -discreetly shows them to Daelos for him to have a peep at. He's the one who might know how they work and all.-

DAELOS: - Has an intent peep.-

DAELOS: - Of course he knows how they work, but he kind of averts his gaze. He doesn't want to cause a scene and get someone else battered or killed-

NYALAH: -That's good enough for her. She starts to scoot off and inspect Mindfang.- mrrp

REDGLARE: -She's been pretty quiet-- it's hard to tell the difference between her being awake and her being asleep, aside from the speed of her breathing. Her eye opens, and she casts a glance towards the group-- failing to linger for more than a second on each face-- before closing it again.-

MINDFANG: -Her eyes are shut, she was trying to at least pretend she was asleep in hopes that maybe it would give her a brief reprieve from the pain she was in with fractures and a break or two all over her ribcage. At least she hasnt lost a lung yet.-

MINDFANG: -When Nyalah approaches though her eye squints open.- .........What are you doing. -Keeps her arms wrapped around herself.-

NYALAH: -sniffs her.- s33ing

NYALAH: -scoots painfully past her to inspect Redglare.-

REDGLARE: -her leg is gross. bad and getting worse a little too rapidly. She doesn't acknowledge her outwardly.-

MINDFANG: You yourself should 8e resting....

MINDFANG: Its impressive you are still 8reathing now...Do not push it.

NYALAH: -hffs and sacrifices her own shirt to attempt to bind Redglares leg with. All she's left with is a sports bra and how visible and equally gross the gash on her side is.- im pushing it

NYALAH: til i cant push no more

MITUNA: -Groans-

 REDGLARE: -opens an eye again to look at her. She's not sure she understands this... why she's doing this.-

NYALAH: -because it's the harder thing to do. Also she almost died about an hour ago and is probably only moving out of adrenaline shots.-

DAELOS: - Silently gets emotional about this cat. -

KARKAT: =She's doing it because she's a good person and someone has to. He's not really responding to all of this just watching it. Heartwarming as it is. He's just been stupidly crying on and off in the cold but at least someone's got their shit together=

[[ Seakrait straightens up and looks elsewhere pretty quick, almost like she's hearing something no else is. ]]

SEAKRAIT: Yes, sir.

SEAKRAIT: Everyone on your feet!

NYALAH: butt face

NYALAH: -stays huddled with Redglare.-

DAELOS: Nyalah, obey them

DAELOS: Please

DAELOS: - Panicked-

NYALAH: -okay well she's going to stay to help Redglare stand then.-

REDGLARE: -She blinks her eye, looking up at Seakrait. Her voice is kind of quiet as she murmurs.- l3g's w34k. N33d to-- ngh. -holding onto her support.-

REDGLARE: ...Th4nk you.

SEAKRAIT: Orders are to relocate, -she snaps to the rest of the legislacerators.- \|/e're taking them to the pitfall.

KARKAT: =Great. a hole to put them all in=

MITUNA: 7ha7 game 5uck5

NYALAH: -quickly skirts her arms up behind her back and bows with the pain of having to stand.- i have two whole leg

NYALAH: and you two good horn

NYALAH: its even exchange

REDGLARE: h4h.

SEAKRAIT: -She reaches out and grabs onto Karkat's arm, deciding to drag him along in front of the group.- Move.

DAELOS: - Does his best to stand. It's not easy. One leg is useless and his good one is split at the foot. He wobbles. -

NYALAH: -limps along with RG.-

[[ Legislacerators still flank the group on all sides, encouraging their trek. ]]

KARKAT: =clenches his jaw and fights to not jerk his arm back. But he's just so goddamn tired of this and their game=

REDGLARE: - it's one dang slow trudge, that's for sure.-

DAELOS: - He tries to take a step. He falls. -

MITUNA: -He's trudging along-

MITUNA: -Stops for Daelos-

SEAKRAIT: -oh gdi. She snaps back at Mituna and Mindfang- You two get him moving.

REDGLARE: -glances over at Daelos... Eye drifting towards Seakrait again as she barks an order.-

REDGLARE: th1s wh4t you s1gn3d up for?

DAELOS: - Maybe he could shuffle if he has a wall to lean on or if the ground was not snow but at this stage he cannot walk. It's humiliating of course but not compared to the rest of their situation. -

MITUNA: how do you propo5e we do 7ha7 nookbrea7h

SEAKRAIT: I propose you do it. -ignores Redglare-

MINDFANG: -Glares right at Seakrait the entire time shes bending down to help Daelos up.-

MINDFANG: (8est to keep moving, they seem to h8 dead w8.) -Internal screaming as helping to take any of his weight feels like torture.-

MITUNA: -Tries to lean down to try and help him up-

DAELOS: - He's too mortified to say anything. He tried to avoid leaning on Mindfang as much as he can. - I apologize

MINDFANG: (Dont 8other. You are not the one who had the 8rilliant idea to maim a prisoners foot when you want them to-- -hff- move.)

[[ The group continues to be led by Seakrait through the forest, snow drifting gently around them in a too-beautiful discordance to the stains in the snow they leave behind them. Eventually, they see a familiar daunting figure in the distance, waiting nearby what is becoming ever more apparent as a giant hole in the earth. ]]

REDGLARE: -She laughs. Weakly and dryly.-

NYALAH: -presses her good horn at Redglare. One eye shut tight.-

SEAKRAIT: -She pauses just by the cavernous hole, releasing Karkat none too gently and looking over the crowd.- I'll do the honors, High Legislacerator.

KARKAT: The honors. Right. Like there's any honor to be had here. =He's just ready for the hole= Have fun.

SEAKRAIT: -She quickly sets up an automatic pulley system in the ground for climbing, tying the harness around herself, and then she moves toward Redglare. Looks like she's first.-

SEAKRAIT: You're lucky your survival will be left up to fate. But I'm not betting on it. -grabs onto Redglare's arm-

REDGLARE: -She pulls away from Nyalah.- p4ss3s for 4 tr14l, th3s3 d4ys, do3s 1t?

THE EXPUNGER: -gazes at the little crowd, chin high.- Don’t you worry. We’ll come back to retrieve your bodieS aS well, but only after Sufficient time haS paSSed to enSure you are dead. Luckily rot doeS not Set in So quickly in cold environmentS. You will Still be identifiable.

KARKAT: =He just tiredly looks up into the sky and sighs wearily= Fuck yourself on my horn when you come back. It'll be frigid enough for you.

SEAKRAIT: -She heads close to the hole, then grips Redglare tighter in her hold before shimmying them both over the edge and slowly... beginning to lower them down. Redglare can see the drop down is incredibly steep; it's unlikely most anything would survive a straight fall.-

REDGLARE: -it certainly is. She's mostly dead weight, anyhow.-

NYALAH: -shivers in the whole cold. Unable to protest or do much more than watch.-

SEAKRAIT: -They descend at a reasonable pace, but once they're a good twenty feet or so down, she holds Redglare tighter -- closer -- and begins to whisper.-

SEAKRAIT: (Don't speak. Be as quiet as possible down here. No one will hear you, but something else might. If you hear anything down here with you, don't let it find you.)

SEAKRAIT: (Focus on keeping yourselves alive as long as you can. Your leg is poisoned, but it won't kill you yet. I'm going to give you the antidote, bite down on it.)

SEAKRAIT: -She glances down to see how far they are from the floor of the cavern; it's about eight or ten feet now.- (If you understand, struggle.) -And then she moves to press her mouth to Redglare's for just a moment, slipping something pill-shaped inside with her tongue.-

 REDGLARE: -uhm. UHM?? She might have struggled ANYHOW regardless of her understanding-- and she's not sure she does. Poison... antidote... no noise. She's helping them, maybe?? She squirms and struggles, letting out an MPH as she swallowd the pill down a raw throat.-

SEAKRAIT: -And she drops Redglare about six feet from the floor, laughing loud enough that she's sure the High Legislacerator will hear before ascending once again, leaving Redglare alone.-

REDGLARE: -The spark of clarity left, at least, keeps her quiet as she finally hits the ground, with a start.-

SEAKRAIT: -SHE'S COMING BACK UP FOR THE REST OF THE GROUP. One by one she's lowering them down-- Karkat, Dave, Mindfang, Nyalah, Mituna, Latula, Aranea... and then finally, Daelos. Needless to say, he's more of a struggle. She says nothing to any of the others, but once Daelos is down, she spits on the ground of the cavern before ascending for the final time, and it hits the rock with a little plink.-

KARKAT: =A plink=

[[ A PLINK. ]]

MITUNA: -Two in the plink one in the stink-

[[ Shortly after they're left in the cavern, they will feel their powers begin to return. Also, it sounds like there's wind howling above; the storm on the horizon has finally reached their location, and the blizzard is kicking up. ]]

REDGLARE: -She does some very quick sign language as each is lowered. Silence. Danger. Time.-

NYALAH: -she had no powers to begin with but does take swift breaths of the icy air. The storm brewing. She shivers terribly.-

MITUNA: -Groans, but his eyes flicker, ever so gently-

KARKAT: =Silence, danger, time. He glances up hearing the storm=

KARKAT: =He's also going to go look at the plink=

DAELOS: - He's soon leaning into her, just like he had been with Mituna, except now he's trying to keep her warm, although since he's a blue blood it doesn't count for much. At least his hair is warm. -

[[ Funny enough, there's a pill in that plink. ]]

KARKAT: =A pill. He stares at it. It stares at him and he stares at it and it stares at him=

[[ It's sort of slobbery, but it looks like it has some kind of fluid inside. ]]

[[ You know. One of those fish oil looking pills. ]]

KARKAT: =Absolutely disgusting.=

KARKAT: =He can't believe that twat cheeked her vitamins from this morning=

[[ KARKAT PLS ]]

KARKAT: =COME GET YOUR PILL DAROLD=

MITUNA: -Soft crackling-

KARKAT: She spat this out.

MITUNA: (guy5 guy5)

DAELOS: - He doesn't realize he's been poisoned or realize that pill is for him-

MITUNA: (im ge77ing my 5park5 back)

REDGLARE: -She points at herself, her leg. Signs 'cure.'-

[[ Also on the plus side, the cave is a lot warmer than the surface, but chillier under the hole. ]]

NYALAH: -maneuvering her arms back in front of her. Looks to Redglare signing and Daelos's leg. Hhhhh. Alright fine.-

NYALAH: -picking the pill from the goo and stuffs it in Daelos's mouth. Keeps her hands clamped there and makes sure he eats it.-

DAELOS: -???? -

NYALAH: -rip in fucking pieces.-

DAELOS: - HORSE GROANY NOISE OF SURPRISE. but yes he supposes he would swallow this. -

REDGLARE: -signs JUST DO IT. like the shy le beef-

NYALAH: -also stuffs some snow in his mouth to help it go down easier.-

NYALAH: -eating some snow herself. Om.-

DAELOS: - NOW GET YOU FILTHY PAWS OUT OF HIS MOUTH-

KARKAT: =Don't it keeps him quiet=

KARKAT: =He just looks to the cave and starts to walk there=

NYALAH: -when the deed is done, she slinks off after Karkat. Clutching at her side.-

KARKAT: =How far back does this cave go? Is there any wood here? Is there a deeper part where he can just fuck right off?=

[[ The area of the cavern they're in is pretty vast, so it'll take some time to navigate the perimeter, but from first glance, there don't appear to be any exits. ]]

DAELOS: - Following this, he continues to eat the snow that looks the freshest-

REDGLARE: -Seems like the first and only time they'd be able to treat their wounds without being under duress. Her flask would've actually been useful if they didn't take her. Damn.-

[[ There are some fallen leaves and logs around beneath where the hole is above, rotting slowly. ]]

REDGLARE: -instead she starts to mill around the ground. Looking for some good, sharp rocks.-

KARKAT: =Relatable. But he looks around=

[[ Rocks are, at least, in abundance here. Such as sharp, pointy stalagmites and stalactites, for example, but there are probably some other chips and things around. ]]

NYALAH: -doing her best to wipe the grime from her wound with snow. The less she moves, the more the pain catches up to her. She actually has to stop and lean up against a boulder, just to focus on breathing and not vomiting.-

[[ The snow probably won't help Daelos and Nyalah with hydration too much, with the cold lowering their body temperatures and making it more difficult for their bodies to retain the moisture, but it at least wets their mouths. ]]

REDGLARE: -She wouldn't know Flint from any other kind of rock, so she's just looking for something that's sharp enough to scratch marks into the walls of the cave. Maybe having some concievable goal is enough to stop thinking about what she saw just last night.-

MITUNA: p5557 7ula

LATULA: -HEY BRUH DONT MIND HER SHE IS TOTALLY STILL TRAUMATIZED- LATULA: tun3z???

 DAELOS: - With the help of the cave wall he's able to slowly drag himself to his feet. As long as he leans against it, he can follow it in a circle, keeping his eye out for anything that might be missed. -

NYALAH: -finds some crevice to curl into, holding herself as she comes close to passing out again. So cold.-

MITUNA: 5how me your hand5

DAVE: -he definitely needed some help bring the only pathetic human in the group. his fingers and toes are lookin pretty blue, it's a little concerning. his back aches every time he moves, he stopped shivering a long time ago, when they were still outside. now when he speaks he's mumbling into his numb arm just lying there- theresno mmm snow

KARKAT: =Dave doesn't look good at all. Karkat looks at him then walks over to try and cover as much of him as he can= Sh. =cups his hands between his own= We need a fire going.

MITUNA: -Ahead of you, Kark. He's floating logs over, stacking them in a pile. His eyes glow, and his head swims from the concentration. Suddenly, optic blast, but it's weak, drying the logs more than anything rn-

LATULA: -She holds em out... fingertips are a little black.- dud3 your 4rm

LATULA: 4r3 you gonn4 b3 good???

MITUNA: Mnnnngh

LATULA: oh SH1T!

LATULA: dud3 FUCK!!!! TH4T WORK3D?

DAVE: -his hands are numb between karkats- gotta keep goin to the tunnel underground

[[ The logs give them the SMOLDER. ]]

KARKAT: =Blows warm air on Dave's hands= We need fire. If we find a hot spring down there you can punch me.

[[😘 ☁️]]

MITUNA: -Oh thank fuck. He stops, and starts blowing on the logs trying to get that fire going-

DAVE: how much time we allocate for naps DAVE: we cant waste time

REDGLARE: -LOOMS WITH A PAINFUL LURCHING STEP and holding up a rock.- (m4rk th3 w4lls wh3r3v3r you go. 1f th3r3 4r3 tunn3ls 4nd you g3t lost. c4n follow th3 l1n3s b4ck.)

KARKAT: Dave. Shut up. I'm getting you warm. Shut. Up.

REDGLARE: (surv1v4l f1rst. work out sh1fts. st4y qu13t.)

MITUNA: -Guess who has a fire going?-

NYALAH: -a little too quiet in her corner. Everything is being too much for her body.-

LATULA: -holds her hands over it...-

[[ The logs slowly catch into little flame at Mituna's encouragement. The wind howls overhead, sending heavier snow down through the hole. ]]

LATULA: th4nk fuck1n god...

KARKAT: =Thanks Mituna. He's putting Dave closest to the fire and sitting behind him. Snug up against his back=

DAELOS: - He carefully nestles Nyalah in his arms and slowly brings her closer to the little fire. Maybe being warm will do her good. His brow is cinched with worry. -

MITUNA: -Makes a psionic barrier at the top of the hole. Fuck you snow. This is a terrible long term plan btw. He's quiet, concentrating-

LATULA: -hand on his shoulder- uh

LATULA: 1t 41nt push1n too hard 1s 1t? 1n th3 br41nm34tz?

MITUNA: 5h we go77a re57

NYALAH: -definitely 100% unconscious again, even as Daelos keeps her close.-

DAVE: remember when youwere hella wrm

MITUNA: (ju57 le7 me be u5eful)

KARKAT: =mumbles against Dave's shoulder= Remember when I gave you that manicure? =It was like, not even a few days before all this. Holds up Dave's hands to the fire and just tries to focus on him=

LATULA: ...1m proud of you b4b3z.

DAVE: -pauses- ohyeah

DAVE: sall fucked up now

DAVE: youre so quiet (arewe whispering)

LATULA: but 1 sw34r to sh1z 1m gonn4 b34t your butt 1f you push yours3lf to f4r.

LATULA: >8P

MITUNA: ehehehe be7 on i7

KARKAT: I guess.

DAVE: -his breathing is a little shallow- im gonna go to bed while everyone elsisleeping now

KARKAT: =Makes a face against him and scrunches his nose= Run out of jokes already...?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: ran out of em

MITUNA: -Keeps this roof going, it's just collecting snow. Good news is it helps keep the heat trapped too.-

KARKAT: Okay.... just. (Get up later.) =mumbles and holds him but lets him rest=

MINDFANG: -Shes returning from having done a quick survey of the immediate area of the cave. And also she had felt the need to move just to keep her brain working again. The sense of getting her mental powers back had come with a huge relief and now she is joining the rest of the group by the fire. Arissa carefully sits down and starts to dig her fingers into the joints and spaces of her metal arm to clear out snow and ice that she had felt trapped in there for hours.-

DAELOS: - While Nyalah sleeps he carefully melts snow in his hands and tries to wipe away the debris around her ruined horn without making the wound bleed again. -

DAELOS: - It would hurt if she were awake so now is the time-

ARANEA: -she's been conscious probably?? she's in alright shape, comparatively, though her chest hurts like a motherfucker and it's been keeping her quiet. she can't stop watching dave.-

NYALAH: -too exhausted to even protest or react to the streak of pain. She's out like a light.-

DAVE: -if he just...closes his eyes... a little...-

KARKAT: =Rest... but just let it be rest.=

KARKAT: =On second thought he's a finicky motherfucker and just all of this is settling wrong to him= ...Mn. No. Okay. Just. No jokes then. =Dave is so squishy and vulnerable, no sleep for you asswipe=

DAVE: are we spooning

KARKAT: Yes. You're welcome little spoon.

DAELOS: - He notices the way Aranea is staring intently at the poor little human and gives her a questioning glance, looking up from Nyalah for a moment. -

ARANEA: -catches his glance, meeting it with an unyielding concern. she scoots closer to daelos and fixes her attention on nyalah instead for the moment. she wonders if she can help her now...-

DAVE: -he is starting to fall asleep again- k

KARKAT: No kays.

KARKAT: Hum one of your dumb raps.

DAELOS: - Scoots to make room for her, she feels to cold nudge of his nose as he talks in her ear. - (Are you alright)

ARANEA: -turns her head to brush cheeks with him- (I'm... Just concerned.)

DAELOS: - Sighing- (Well... there is certainly cause for it)

DAELOS: - He always imagined he would die in a hole but he wants something better for his loved ones and crew members. -

MITUNA: -He keeps asking for death. And yet....-

DAVE: -hums something unintelligible that kind of sounds like my humps-

ARANEA: -she shares some of the light eminating from her fingertips with nyalah. she will likely stay unconscious, but hopefully it will be a more restful kind of sleep. the pain inside her head should begin to subside. concentrating is difficult for her, but her own strong sense of self preservation is motivation enough to keep trying to exercise her abilities. they have better chances together. and after what she saw yesterday, she isn't exactly willing to let anyone else fall at the hands of those bastards.-

DAELOS: - Seeing this warm his heart. Perhaps... just perhaps there is a chance they will make it out of this. He nuzzles Aranea gratefully. -

DAELOS: Thank you

ARANEA: -leans into him, only nodding in response. but maybe some of that light will transfer to him too...-

MITUNA: -He's sweating next to the fire, quiet with the strain of all this snow accumulating on his barrier. His brain is a muscle that hasn't been exercised in forever. A time ago he'd be able to do this no problem. He grunts softly, trapping the collected snow in a psionic bubble and moving it past the entrance of the hole to plop that huge pile somewhere else. Sorry guys, no ceiling for a while. He breathes a little heavy-

DAVE: -he's been practically forced to stay awake because concussions are great and karkat won't let him go to sleep anyway. he's still pretty out of it, but the warmth seems to be doing at least something. he ain't dead yet right?-

MITUNA: -He's really tired you guys-

DAVE: -tired club-

MITUNA: -snow starts drifting into the hole-

TEREZI: =Would have been proud of them.=

DAVE: -rude ass dead rude ass-

MITUNA: -Gdi Excalibur-

TEREZI: =shup=

MITUNA: donde...e57a...la biblio7eca

MITUNA: me llamo 7 bone la arana di5co7eca

DAVE: -watches mituna even if he looks blurry-

MITUNA: -Come on Dave you know this one-

MITUNA: di5co7eca

MITUNA: muneca

MITUNA: e5 en bigo7e grande pero man7eca

DAVE: manteca bigote gigante

DAVE: pequeño

MITUNA: la cabe5a e5 nieve

MITUNA: cerve5a e5 bueno

DAVE: -takes a good minute before saying the next part- buenos dias me gusta papas frías

MITUNA: lo5 bigo7e5 de la cabra e5 cameron diaz

DAVE: -another minute- yeaboi

MITUNA: -Soft bomb noise-

DAVE: -breathes- when are we

DAVE: gettin out

MITUNA: no7 ye7 bu7 youre bein pa7ien7 a5 fuck -A snowflake lands on his nose. He's exhausted, but he's still floating a couple logs to the fire. The wet logs snap and crackle with moisture-

DAVE: were gonna

DAVE: get out of here

MITUNA: yeah i know -He glances up. He's only gonna rest a little while longer before continuing to keep the cold out for everyone. Just thirty minutes alright? He doesn't even know how long thirty minutes will be...but still.-

MITUNA: fuck america though dude

[[ Mituna could try counting 1-Mississippi, 2-Mississippi all the way up to 1800-Mississippi. ]]

[[ It's even the spirit of USA! Amurrica, frick yeah! ]]

MITUNA: -Fuck you America-

DAVE: dude dont

DAVE: youre doin some stuff

DAVE: you gotta calm down

DAVE: with your teleport

DAVE: teleconnecticut

MITUNA: i go77a...do 5ome7hin....even if i75 ju57 givin your 5orry a55e5 a chance 7o re57....ehehe

DAVE: we have a fire were good to go

MITUNA: i75 no7 57rong enough ye7

ARANEA: -she's been drifting in and out of consciousness. being cool blooded as she is, the cold is taking it's toll on her. but being slightly delirious, she doesn't think much as she starts wiggling in dave's direction, her hand out towards him.-

DAVE: -watching aranea and this hand thing she's doing and it reminds him of movies and dead people and angels and all he can do is look at her- im dead now

MITUNA: lmao lucky cock5ucker

DAVE: oh nope im alive

MITUNA: poor bi7ch

ARANEA: -ha... is he likening her to an angel? dont' be silly, boy. she touches his shoulder, or hand, or whatever she can get ahold of first and lets the little bit of warmth she has to offer extend to him-

DAVE: -just like that, he feels it...a warm sensation putting feeling back into his fingers and his toes. he watches her carefully as this happens, without a doubt a little confused and delirious with hypothermia but...it appears that his fingers and toes begin to lose their blue color-

MITUNA: -Grins a little, but he's so tired. His head lulls back, eyes fluttering closed. Just for a moment. Just for thirty minutes.-

ARANEA: (We're going to get out of here.) -affirms what he was already saying... if he had any doubts, he couldn't possibly now.-

DAELOS: -LOUD SNORING ON NYALAH DURING THESE TOUCHING MOMENTS.-

DAVE: -his gaze meets hers and he slowly nods- were gonna

NYALAH: -no worries. She's affectionately chewing his neck fat in her sleep.-

MITUNA: -Probably about 44 minutes later he puts the psionic ceiling back up-

[[ Sleep MORE. It means you need it! ]]

DAELOS: -Except at some point he wakes up. His sleep is rather restless. And other than Nyalah chewing on him, he notices that Aranea has left his side and wiggled more towards Dave. And they're holding hands.-

DAELOS: 👀!

DAELOS: -Well. It's cold and humans are fragile. Perhaps it's merely kindness. He tries to go back to sleep.-

DAELOS: -He finds it a bit difficult to stop low key watching them, though.-

ARANEA: -for once doesn't notice when she's being given extra attention... she's zoning in and out a little too much while still looking at dave.-

DAELOS: -MMmm.....-

DAVE: -his fingers are moving a little now that they actually feel like they exist. he's not sure what's happening now but he also doesn't have the sense or strength to get up and do something else-

DAELOS: -On second thought, he doesn't want to look at this anymore. He's gonna slowly just turn so he's facing the other direction. And eventually he'll be able to sleep.-

[yzmas-fucking-eyelashes]

every third number in the ask :3

bless u ;w;

3. who are you looking forward to seeing?-everyone in Germany when i finally get to move

6. what kind of people are you attracted to?-mostly if you can make me laugh i’ll be attracted to you

9. does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?-nope

12. what are your 5 favorite songs right now?-hmmmmm i’ve only been listening to pop punk music for like. many weeks so i’ll list all the ones that get stuck in my head 1)grand theft autumn by fob 2)dirty laundry by all time low 3)whats my age again by blink 182 4)stupid for you by waterparks 5)fake happy by paramore

15. what good thing happened this summer?-i got to be a lifeguard which was the most fun job i’ve ever had

18. do you still talk to your first crush?-my first real crush was actually my first kiss and we used to be really close but we don’t talk anymore which is kinda a bummer but what can ya do

21. what are your bad habits?-going on this fucking site every day

24. favorite part of your daily routine?-going to bed

27. do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?-neither really? i actually had a nice tan this summer but its fading now cuz i’m in the sun much less

30. do you ever want to get married?-nope

33. spell your name with your chin-casw (close enough)

36. have you ever liked someone and never told them?-i tell people i like them when i want to get over them. but also yes

39. what are your favorite stores to shop in?-i love hot topic and i buy all my clothes from there. for example, today i was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots.

42. if you’re being extremely quiet what does that mean?-i’ve got some shit rattling through my brain

45. what makes you get out of bed in the morning?-money

48. have you ever been drunk?-i’m drunk right now

51. ever wished you were someone else?-i wish i was someone with functioning serotonin

54. favorite store?-see 39

57. favorite food?-carbs

60. ever won a competition? for what?-worlds dumbest bitch

63. ever been in love?-yes

66. do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?-jokes on you i don’t have any friends (i like em about equal)

69. are you watching tv right now?-no

71. craving something? what?-dick

74. how many stuffed animals do you think you have?-too many

77. chocolate or vanilla?-chocolate

80. what color pants?-none

83. mean girls or mean girls 2?-i’m offended you’re even asking me this

86. favorite character from finding nemo?-the seagulls

89. name a person you hate?-Jeff Bezos

91. is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?-see 89

94. how many sweaters/hoodies do you have?-too many for a desert dweller

97. favorite actor?-Danny DeVito

100. how are you feeling?-i’m trying not to

103. can you spell well?-w-e-l-l 

106. ever broken someones heart?-only my own baybee

109. is something irritating you right now?-i have to pee and my cat is passed out on my lap so

112. who was the last person you cried in front of?-probably suzi

115. do you play the wii?-nintendo 4 lyfe

118. do you like Chinese food?-hell yes

121. are you mean?-who’s to say

124. do you believe in love at first sight?-i don’t believe in love

127. what makes you happy?-emptying a 120 gallon drum of lube into my kitchen and creating a diy slip ‘n slide

130. do you like subway?-sure

133. favorite lyrics right now?-give it to me baby (uh-huh uh-huh) give it to me baby (uh-huh uh-huh) give it to me baby (uh-huh uh-huh) and all the girls say i’m pretty fly (for a white guy)

136. do you sleep with your doors open or closed?-cracked a little so the cats can go in and out

139. brunette or blonde?-redhead

142. favorite month?-october

145. tea or coffee?-yes

148. what’s your favorite quote?- “There he goes. One of God’s own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind, never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.”-Hunter S. Thompson