#i guess its just an accumulation of behaviours on his part but good god

[minivirgo]

my bf just told me that a couple of weeks ago while hanging out with his cousin, they were talking about philosophy and politics and my bf said he started getting into anarchism primarily because of me and my influence and his cousin was IN SHOCK and said "julie ???????? well NOW i need to have a conversation with her". i am insulted lol.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

For the ask meme: A) 1, 3, 6, 9, 11, 23, B) 2, 11, C) 5, 7, D) 5, E) 1, F) 3, G) 5, H) 1, L) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

This is going to be a thicccccc post y’all. Doing these for Reeve, Lonan, Foster, Harrison, and Darren from FOSTERED, and Clifford from I’M DISAPPOINTED!

PART A:

1. What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera…

Reeve: ISFP

Lonan: ISTJ

Foster: INFJ

Harrison: ENFP

Darren: Not sure about this one, probably whatever my mom is (which I believe is ISFJ)

Clifford: INFP 

3. Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it? 

Reeve:

She has struggled with clinical depression since book two to present times.

She developed PTSD also pretty early on in the series, though it definitely worsened in book four, and is probably at its peak where I’m at in book six.

I also believe she does struggle with borderline personality disorder, though this is a newer discovery, and I’ve definitely been doing a lot of research recently in order to write it respectfully (as I’ve done with the previous disorders).

Reeve is aware of her depression and PTSD, not her BPD, but these all remain untreated

Lonan:

He namely suffers from some form depression that fluctuates a bit

He also suffers from depersonalization/derealization disorder

Lonan’s also struggled with an alcohol problem since book three, and a recent drug problem

I don’t think Lonan is aware concretely of suffering from any of these disorders. He emphasizes seeing things to believe them, so while he understands deep down that he does struggle with these things, he would never admit this to himself, or anyone else. Thus, they would most likely remain untreated.

Foster:

Foster also does suffer from depression as well, though I would push it toward high-functioning.

He feels the effects, but doesn’t say anything about them because he doesn’t put his best interest above everyone else’s. In the future, definitely would be down for therapy

Harrison:

Pretty similar to Foster as well in terms of depression. I think it definitely worsens as he ages, and plateaus when he’s in his mid twenties. 

This wasn’t ever something I considered before my own diagnosis, and isn’t something I’ve consciously incorporated, but I have a gut feeling Harrison has bipolar disorder as well

Harrison doesn’t do anything about this currently, but in the spinoff, does look into medication

Darren:

Darren is a relatively new character for me, so I haven’t had as much time with him to ruminate on this, but I definitely think his brother’s death influenced a resurfacing of his childhood depression. :(

Clifford:

Clifford does have social anxiety disorder, and a milder, but persistent depression (probably persistent depressive disorder)

He did have treatment in the past for his depression, in connection with his treatment for his alcohol abuse, but doesn’t continue with it beyond counselling in the actual book

6. Does your OC tend to assume their interpretation of events and reality is correct, or do they question it? I.e., “I’m sure that’s what you said” versus “It’s possible I misheard you.”

Reeve

She definitely believes her interpretation of events and reality to be correct (even when grandiose) but depending on her mental state, she can very much doubt what’s real and what isn’t. 

Lonan

His interpretation is always right even when he’s wrong.

Foster

“It’s possible I misheard you” be Foster’s catch phrase yo

Harrison

Like Lonan, he’s confident in his interpretation of events/reality, but isn’t arrogant about it lol

Darren

He admits he’s wrong sometimes and makes mistakes, so definitely, he questions his interpretation of things and is always open to improve.

Clifford

Clifford doubts himself SO much??? he be like uhhhummmmbutuhhhhhh

9. Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others? 

Reeve:

Yes for herself and for others, doesn’t really own up to anything ever

Lonan:

Yes also, doesn’t really own up to anything ever, even more so than Reeve

Foster:

Yes for others, but not for himself. If he’s being mistreated, he oftentimes will try to excuse the other party’s behaviour, but will stand up for himself after a while (tho he’s a hella pushover)

Harrison:

Harrison doesn’t make excuses from himself, or for anybody else, excluding Lonan, lol. Because of his emotional investment, he’ll often try to come up with a reason to excuse Lonan’s (usually very horrible) actions when it comes to the intimacy of their relationship. Tho he stops taking BS really quickly, lol, but Lonan can sometimes be a soft spot (which ain’t cool asshole). 

Darren:

Darren is such a good person, lol, he doesn’t excuse himself for his actions, or anyone else’s actions, with Reeve’s being an exception. Pretty similar to Lonan x Harrison.

Clifford:

Clifford does the opposite of excuse his actions. He’s an extreme self-loather, honestly. He also excuses other people’s actions because he’s a pushover like Foster. 

11. Does your OC put others’ needs before their own?

Reeve:

No, though this is detrimental at times, because she can lack a lot of empathy at times, in the past I would’ve said yes

Lonan:

No, also is a lil selfish not gonna lie

Foster:

Yes, too much

Harrison:

Also yes too much

Darren:

Extreme yes very too much

Clifford:

Hella yikers way too much

23. Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?

Reeve:

No, but also isn’t confident, or insecure about it 

Lonan:

To an extent. He doesn’t want to be the garbage aesthetic (which is my aesthetic and I love but ok) so does iron the living fuck out of his button ups, lol. Is very confident @ the arrogance thooooo

Foster:

Yes, just because he’s suave™. He might be a lil insecure because he’s v sensitive tho lol #chillitwiththeaxe

Harrison:

Yes, because he’s also the suavest. Harrison is actually the garbage/dumpster/garage aesthetic, and I love it. He doesn’t put an extraneous amount of effort into his appearance tho, is just a natural boi. He’s also confident but not arrogant (most of the times lol). 

Darren:

A rather normal amount, probably? Isn’t too concerned tho, is confident with who he is as a person

Clifford:

Yes. Very much yes. He’s pretty insecure, and while this doesn’t link back with his appearance, he definitely is conscious of it, and makes sure it doesn’t further add to his accumulated insecurities. 

PART B:

2. Do they get frustrated when lines at places like pharmacies, check-outs, delis, banks, et cetera, are moving slowly?

Reeve:

Yes, the impatience is real the world works for her yo

Lonan:

Also yes, the world is his bitch hunty, the world ain’t only his oyster, it’s his possession my dude why are we still waiting in this line Harrison it’s been thirty seconds oh my gOd

Foster:

No, lol, patience is a virtue yo

Harrison:

Yes, but not because he’s entitled like Reeve and Lonan, but because he’s pretty impatient and antsy and doesn’t enjoy sitting still

Darren:

No, lol he’s just gonna play candy crush on his phone and be satisfied lol

Clifford:

Yes, after some time. Like, he’ll see a long line and be like *impending doom* but won’t start complaining until like fifteen minutes in

11. Your OC is running late to meeting someone: Do they let the other person know? Do they lie about why they’re late?

Reeve:

She lets the other person know and will bend the truth so it works in her favour. So ‘I rear-ended someone’ would become ‘someone rear-ended me’. 

Lonan: 

Lets them know he’s running late and lies about why he’s late to also benefit him. So if he slept in, he’s like ‘My sister had me drive her to an appointment and gave me absolutely no notice, and I’m appalled at her inability to recognize consequences for actions and the importance of respecting time’. 

Foster:

Tells the other person he’s running late and is honest about why he’s late, and profusely apologizes. 

Harrison:

Lets them know he’s running late and lies but creatively. So I’m running late because I’m hungover is I’m running late because my alarm system literally had a freak out last night and literally every cop in America showed up at my house and turns out one of them is my mother’s cousin’s ex, so we had a long conversation and then I had to fill out paperwork and pay a fine and my morning has been awful? Sounds unbelievable, but he’ll somehow convince you. Or at least you’ll know he’s lying but the charm tho? 

Darren:

Says he’s running late and tells the truth about why he’s late, is like sorry buddy tbh I wanted to binge Hell’s Kitchen instead of coming to this corporate meeting and yikers the time slipped away.

Clifford:

Says he’s running late and tries to lie but it’s so pathetic the person he has plans with cancels

PART C:

5. Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?

Reeve:

Her morals are ridiculously situational oml

Lonan:

What morals

Foster:

No, lol, his morals are goddamn iron my bro

Harrison:

I mean if he really wants to spitball that one person who wronged him he ain’t gonna say no ??? Though I mean, Lonan has done a lot of awful shit to him, and he still hasn’t gotten revenge, so I guess he’s not a situational kind of mans.

Darren:

Nopers, he likes his morals to stay where they are

Clifford:

Morals also ain’t moving yo

7. Do they believe people change over time? If so, is it a natural process or does it take effort? 

Reeve:

No, people don’t change

Lonan:

People never change

Foster:

People can change, but it does take effort (he used to believe it was a natural process and then Reeve and Lonan happened looool)

Harrison:

Ehh. People don’t really change. They can if they really want to, but they’re just going to be the same person but less shitty?

Darren:

I think he’s a little unsure. He wants to believe people can change, but he’s not sure if they actually will because a lot of people just dont have enough self-awareness and drive/willingness to. 

Clifford:

People don’t change mom omg just their circumstances and how they react to them agh

PART D:

5. Do they believe in ghosts? If not, why? If so, do they think they’re magical/tie into their religion, or are they scientifically plausible?

Reeve:

No. When you’re dead, you’re dead.

Lonan:

Also no, when you’re dead, you’re dead anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool

Foster:

Not really? Maybe he’d like to. I don’t think he’s rooted enough in just humanity that he’d believe only what we see exists, but he’s not like a ghost fanatic, lol. When one haunts him tho he’s got that holy water my boi.

Harrison:

Yes, but jokingly. I think he would be a bit of a provoker to ghosts because he thinks the idea is stupid, but does it for the fun. He’s down for ghost hunting apps, but thinks it’s all a joke. Probably is that person who uses a Ouija board and opens a portal.

Darren:

Also no because he doesn’t really think about it? He believes in the afterlife, and probably heard tons of stories from his grandma, but isn’t a huge believer himself.

Clifford:

I feel like Clifford would only believe in ghosts when he’s home alone and it’s 4AM and there’s a knock on the door, tbh, he scares easily, lol

(v/ sad about this tho im a hella believer in ghosts, where my ghost believer characters at thooooo)

PART E:

1. Would you say that your OC is intelligent? In what ways? Would your OC agree?

Reeve:

Yeah, I think Reeve is pretty intelligent. She’s able to see the motivations of others and understand them (doesn’t mean she necessarily keeps them in mind with her actions). She’s also pretty good at manipulation because she understands the insecurities and weaknesses of those around her. I dunno if she’d necessarily agree with this, though.

Lonan:

Lonan is v/ intelligent, similarly to Reeve. He is literally the *master of manipulation, knows the motives of others, their weaknesses, and knows exactly how to exploit them to the fullest extent possible. Other than his intelligence being used to ruin the lives of others, lol, he’s also really good with numbers. Highkey actually me self-inserting my love for mental math into my son #noregrets. He would definitely agree with this. He’s smart and he knows it. (Unfortunately) Though for the smartest person in my books, he sure does make the stupidest decisions??

(last week I was shopping with my best friend and calculated a total real quick and she was like “stop being lonan” lol oops)

(lonan is actually an insult now ??)

Foster:

He’s also hella smart, and gets no credit for it? Foster is very much like a teacher, honestly. He’s got that elementary school 10/10 teacher vibe to him. Foster is also really good at math, lol. He’s got an affinity for science outside of my book world, to be honest, loves reading, is down to memorize the periodic table, yo. Foster’s really down to earth so he’d prolly be hella modest about his smarts. 

Harrison:

He’s really, really smart, but acts really dumb?? Harrison doesn’t give himself enough credit, to be honest. He doesn’t really focus on his brain, but it’s a sharp one, yo. He would probably disagree with me calling him smart tho. 

Darren:

Is like my smartest boy? Darren is very people smart, but he’s also very brain smart, lol. I think he’d be pretty proud about his smarts, and express that, though not arrogantly. 

Clifford:

Hates himself so would probably call himself the stupidest shit alive even though he actually isn’t. He just needs some encouragement.

PART F:

3. Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?

Reeve:

No, too claustrophobic for her, would probably burn it down in frustration

Lonan:

No, he would need a five acre extension.

Foster:

Yes! This is so his aesthetic he just wants to live in a tiny house in the woods and never interact with people and be one with nature and make pine needle tea every morning and play Sudoku and write a novel about a young man on his literary adventures in London while sitting in a hammock at golden hour.

Harrison:

No? Maybe he’d find it really fun and a great idea for the first week so he could pretend to be a giant, but I mean, I think he’d hate it after a while. He’d keep bumping into cupboards and drawers and blame it on the size of the house when it’s really actually him. 

Darren:

Yuppers, sign him up. Except Darren would be so down for a tiny house built out of an old school bus (like my dream tiny house lolol), and he’d just park up on the beach and have the best life?

Clifford:

I think he would enjoy it for a bit, but I can’t see Clifford sticking it out for very long. :( He likes small spaces as they’re comforting to him but is also claustrophobic? This boy is a walking contradiction tho? (me)

PART G

5. Did they go through any typical phases growing up?

Reeve:

Not really she’s boring lol

Lonan:

Probably a really pathetic emo phase ft. the Haircut before he buzzed off his hair lmaooooo

Foster:

Also so boring, no phases here, probably if I had to choose, the ‘hippie’ phase but it’s not a phase if it’s his life ? He’s like YES with that clay based toothpaste, YES with them green smoothies, #oil pulling? Sign me UPPP. 

Harrison:

The swearing phase where every sentence is made of curse words except also not a phase if it’s real doe?? he’s no lie that person who be like: fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckyoufuckfuckfuckfuck

Darren:

He probably had a real quick stint of writing bad poetry except he was never angsty enough so it was always like the sun is up / the sky is blue / it’s beautiful / and so are you and tbh can I get a Darren in my life

(not that those lyrics are bad i quite like them)

Clifford:

Clifford will forever be stuck in his emo phase, that’s who he is, man, he’s forever stuck in his edgy emo sad boi phase ok

(me tooooooo)

PART H

1. What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation?

*Not setting everything in stone here, just as with real people, there’s totally room to change, this is just what I’m thinking as of now, tho I haven’t traditionally characterized any of these guys, so they change every day lol! I always learn new things about my characters (which I try to share) so that’s my disclaimer!

Reeve:

So I did write her hetero for both, but I’m not actually super sure anymore? She maybe could be bi?

Lonan:

Aha, Lonannnnnnn. So this is going to connect with my answer for Harrison later on, but I’m also not sure on both sides ? I used to be pretty set that he was both heterosexual and heteroromantic, but I’m leaning probably toward bisexual x biromantic, though I’m not sure if these particular labels fit him. All I know is Lonan likes Harrison (and Harrison likes Lonan lol), tho navigating his head when it comes to this has been a bit confusing (which I get), so I don’t have a set answer to be honest. 

Foster:

He is both heteroromantic and heterosexual

Harrison:

Ahhha, so. I’m also a lil confused when it comes to Harrison too, which is something I’ve been meaning to discuss on here for a bit! I recently mentioned he is bi, not sure if that’s still set? I’ve been trying to navigate whether or not he likes women both sexually and romantically, just sexually, just romantically, etc?? We’ve established Harrison is in love af with Lonan, and is attracted af to him, just ahhhh my brain has been all over the place with Ris. I’m like, not sure if he’s bi, or gay or ??? like ?? dunno ? 

Darren:

Admittedly not something I’ve thought about extensively, would probably say hetero for both

Clifford:

Hetero, but maybe biromantic?? I mean him and Julian tho ??? I haven’t thought about Clifford in a very long time oops. 

PART L

1. How have your characters changed since you created them?

Reeve:

So I’ve been writing Reeve for almost four years now, and I can confidently say I only figured out who she really is very recently. Reeve hasn’t actually changed very much since book one, I think I’ve just realized who she is more, so her actions reflect herself a lil better. She’s a self-centred person, and pretty much always has been, but because I know that that’s her character, and not me writing her wrong, I’ve been able to push that even more in book six versus book one. She’s also a lot less empathetic than she was, but honestly, she hasn’t made too much positive change, just remained as she was before, but worse.

Lonan:

Lonan ‘changed’ a lot, namely because I didn’t know he was going to be Reeve’s half brother until book three (he was intro’d in book two). Change isn’t a very good word for him, because like his sister, he’s remained the same person, but the way he acts has differed slightly. So how I perceive him has changed, would probably be a more accurate sentiment because his character hasn’t changed much. He’s impatient as he was in book two, a lil narcissistic, hot-headed, arrogant. I’d say he’s changed the most in terms of self destruction. He’s always been self-destructive, but he’s even more so now.

Foster:

Foster is a lot milder than I initially wrote him. He had a bit of sass to him in book one, but this totally actually isn’t his character, which I realized as I went along. He doesn’t stand up for himself nearly as much as he used to, and his submissiveness has increased a lot. It’s funny (and kind of awful) that I’ve never actually characterized these guys with backstory (just went on as it happened), so a lot of things change as I go, but his sass tho? Where did it go ?? He cracked more jokes too ??? now he’s so serious ?? He also wasn’t vegan before but now he legit is?? Foster is hella posher than he was before, honestly. 

Harrison:

Harrison’s a lot more mature now than he was in book one. His character arc is kind of funny, because he’s hot-headed, impatient, funny, sassy, etc when he’s 17, up until he’s 19. From 20 onward, he’s a lot more mature, and less childish, and from 25 onward, reverts back to his seventeen year old self, lol. Harrison’s patience has increased a lot more tho, and he also isn’t volatile at all. He’s a huge softie who I somehow didn’t realize liked the bois even tho it’s so obvious he does like ? Rachel r u good ??? he is so down for the rainbow tho ? taste the rainbow doe ?

Darren:

AHA Darren has changed SOOOO MUCH. Darren was supposed to be a horrible person, narcissistic, bitter, very sharp and blunt, selfish, etc, and that’s how I planned him to be. Literally the instant I wrote his first line into the book he turned into a total softie seweetheart with the biggest heart of gold which actually doesn’t work for my future plot but I can’t help that he’s literally a dream come true as a person? He went from stupid villain to SWEETERMANSSS.

Clifford:

lol I wrote Clifford as a hardcore ‘I don’t give two fucks about this world, fuck you man’ kind of guy who was honest and kind of an ass for about the first three chapters of the original draft of I’M DISAPPOINTED when I realized he’s actually a cinnamon roll? I struggled to change this in my earliest edits (I think I have notes saying MAKE CLIFFORD LESS OF AN ASS) a lot. He wasn’t supposed to be anxious af either, or care about his family. Needless to say, pretty stoked he changed lol. 

2. What do you consider the biggest themes in your character, if any?

I don’t really consider theme very much, if at all in my books or characters (this is more so something I look to after the fact if it ever comes up), but I’d say a huge theme for everybody is loss? I dunno why, but loss is one of my favourite things to write because it almost acts as a vortex for more potential problems to integrate into a story. I really like dealing with messy situations in my books, and loss really allows me to do this, as well as segue into other characteristics in my characters, such as selfishness, anger, deceit, sadness, etc.

3. Did you create the character to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you?

Reeve:

No, conceptually, she was never meant to be anything like me, and in execution, I still don’t think she’s anything like me, lol. 

Lonan:

No, he also wasn’t created to be like me, and remained nothing like me until around book four? Lonan and I are still very different (he’s hella calculating and not emotional lol), but there are parts of me that I now see in him. 

None of these characteristics were intentional, but he totally got my worst characteristics. Sometimes these characteristics (mostly) are more exaggerated in him than me (such as coldness), but yeah he’s kinda like my evil alter ego, lol. 

Because of this, Lonan is kind of the closest character to me, strangely, and I’ve had a dissociative episode ft. him, which was strange but interesting!

My doctor has deemed Lonan my lil guardian buddy who reminds me of the laws of the real world (like yo if u jump off something u gon fall hunny gravity is a thing), which is fascinating to me (could talk about this forever!) because I never considered him to be that close to me? 

Foster

lol no not me at all, wasn’t created that way ever

Except we both love tofu and could probably drown in tofu and not be mad about it?

I need to write a scene with Foster and tofu oml

Harrison

Aha, no he wasn’t actually created to be like me at all, and I never thought we were similar until a year or two ago! He’s kinda like the ‘extroverted me’ obvi I think I’m colder and more cynical than him, but we could vibe since we’re on a similar wavelength lol

Harrison is like all the sunshine in me, so subtract the Lonan from me

Darren

Also no, Darren wasn’t created to be me, and I think he’s too nice to be similar to me, lol. 

Clifford

So Clifford was never created to be like me at all. We started out as being two very very very different people, and then suddenly he ? was ? my ? emo ? alter ? ego ? tho ???

Clifford was a very suave boi before I figured out who he was, and when I did, he turned out to be an anxious, angsty, existential boi who is no lie basically a self-insert ahahaha

4. Would you hang out with your OC if you could?

Reeve

Is it mean if I say no, lol. She’s not a people person or a friend person, and I dunno what we would even talk about. Obviously if I could hang out with all my characters that’d be fun, but I dunno if I’d even talk to Reeve, looool oops

Lonan

Yes! Just because I’d really enjoy provoking him. Lowkey would hate me, but I could see his superman hair in person ? tho ?

Foster

queen yessss catch us gushing bout tofu and chickpeas ???? 

Harrison

QUEEN yes! ft. ABBA on karaoke tho? Hanging out with Harrison would be so fun because he’s actually not boring like Lonan who we would poke fun at and then I’d be like yo hunnyyy snatch up that date for yourself thoooooo and we would talk about boys lol

Darren

Also yes! Darren is so generous and kind and funny and tbh how tf is he single hmu Darren tbh let’s eat Oreos and watch musicals

Clifford

I don’t really want to hang out with Clifford because that would be horribly awkward? But I think jamming some guitar with him would be very fun and then we’d bond and write angsty poetry on our hands

5. Which OC do you think is the most decent morally or behaviorally? AKA, which is supposed to be a ‘good guy’?

loool not Reeve

My order from most morally sound to least morally sound:

Darren

Foster

Clifford

Harrison

Reeve

Lonan

None of these people are particularly antagonists in terms of the bias of the story. I would say Darren, Foster, Clifford and Harrison are all 100% not antagonistic at all. Reeve and Lonan are technically ‘heroes’ but ha, no. I’d definitely say in other perspectives, they’re both hella morally grey, and in many cases, very morally wrong.

6. Which OC do you think is the worst morally or behaviorally? AKA, which is supposed to be a ‘bad guy’?

The award is going to Lonan, but Reeve is right up there with him. Neither Reeve or Lonan are supposed to be the ‘bad guy’, they just make poor decisions. At the moment, Reeve is making worse decisions than her brother, so, their moral decline kinda switches at times, lol. Neither are the antagonists of the book at least from Reeve’s narrative bias, but I guess if you think about it, they wreak the most havoc for the most part.

7. Which OC do you think is the most attractive?

Heh I love that this is the last question! I think they’re all rather decent, and have their own attractive qualities tho? Some observations:

Reeve

Kinda plain not gon lie she cute doe

Lonan

Bird boi, The hair swoop tho? #itsignifieshisdownfall, that jawline tho?

Foster: 

Fresh boi, gotta iron dem dress shirts, #oxfords, #shoepolish, #hairgel 

Harrison

Hawt boi, That shaggy hair tho? The leather jackets and cigarettes tho?

Darren:

Suave boi, EVERYTHING tho??? His hair ??? His face ??? His personality ??? 

Clifford:

lmao 

Thanks for all the questions! Whattup at this long post, good on you if you made it this far!

–Rachel