#i had to type this TWICE bc my first version of this ask got deleted

[fics-lovebot]

satoru gojo fic rec

main masterlist

· · ♡ · · tysm to the amazing creative minds of the writers for giving me sevaral moments of joy reading your creations

i´ll be constantly updating this list so make sure to check it out often for new recs ;)))

pls remember to reblog if you like any of my recs❤️

disclaimer: if you came back looking for that one fire fic and you can´t find it, it´s bc it doesn't exist anymore :( so i deleted it

LAST UPDATED: 08/08/2024

gojo

gojo eating you out - ( @happybird16 )

gojo x dacryphilia - ( @happybird16 )

gojo loves fat pussy - ( @tohokuu )

sending gojo an accidental nude so he sends you a whole video - ( @satoruhour )

gojo tried to give himself a haircut and now wants to go bald - ( @enkvyu ) this is fuNNY ksksks, I love the banter

trying to break up with yandere!gojo - ( @peachsayshi ) yep, we´re talkin about lovesick toxic obsessed type of gojo, break up????? you know better than to tell him that sooo since you´re acting dUMB he has to fucc so sense into you bc, clearly, you forgot who tf ur talking to - LDKJSDFJDJFHLSHFLSHDF but he´s not rough bc he luvss you a lot

insecure bully!gojo - ( @saetoru ) angst, lil fluff, he´s a bully and he´s in love, but its not enough. part 2

the horniest - ( @arminsumi ) smut, ITS SO GOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD, he´s horny af, pussy drunk, obsessed, borderline crazy for that wap

phone calls - ( @kingkonoha ) slice of life, hubby!gojo, dilf!gojo, his wife and his daughter are his only priority, this is so sdkfjskdjfh :´( i love it

best of the best - ( @saetoru ) smut, fwb! satoru, big sHIT talker omg, he lit asks you to be his gf wHILE he´s making you cum,,,,,best bf ever tho

love struck - ( @xxsabitoxx ) fluffy, ex-fuckboy!satoru, he´s experiencing love for the first time :((((( IT´S SO CUTEEEEEEEEEE

love dumb - ( @arminsumi ) fluff, blurb, you make him lose his composure, can´t even focus bc you´re over there existing, someone should make a longer version of this! so good

too much - ( @risuola ) ANGSTTTYYYY, fluff too, reader and gojo are in a situationship kinda thing where they live together and love each other but nothing has been said yet, they get into an argument bc gojo has a big mouth and says a lot of hurtful things, they´re both just so exhausted

i know you still think about the times we had - ( @saetoru ) angst, fluff, rich bf!gojo, his father makes you break up with him, it´s so angsty omg, they get into this HUGE argument bc gojo´s dad is a controlling mf

sanctuary - ( @arminsumi ) fluff, lowkey angst, weak!reader, bully!gojo, nah he´s just in love but doesn´t know how to say it

the road to falling in love - ( @itadorey ) fluff, strangers to lovers, it´s a collection o moments where keeps falling harder for you, I LOVE ITTTTT, sdkfjhskdjf it´s kinda slow burn but not boring at all

yuji finds out gojo has a family - ( @kingkonoha ) fluff, lowkey angst, hubby!gojo, dad!gojo, so,,, this made me cry, i love yuji sm he deserves the world :( this is part two and it also made me crY MY MF EYES OUT :))))))))

i´ll meet you forever in this memory - ( @gorejo ) fluff, college au, married life au, it´s so good, he lit has this big ass plan to make you fall for him, and i mean big, like planned way ahead lmao, 10 years later he´s still asking you to go out with him,,,,even if you´re already married sdlfkjkdfhlsdjh so so cute

can´t stop drinking - ( @kingkonoha ) ANGST, death, blood, dad!gojo, husband!gojo, mentions of wanting to die, a curse kills you and your son allegedly but in reality the elders had lied to him all these years, part 2 made me fucking cry, PLEASEEE I NEED PART 3

hype man - ( @satoruoo ) crack, fluff, supportive bf!gojo, he´s such an amazing bf :( “damn, my girl ran you over with a bus, reversed, then got out and shot you twice in the foot? what did you do?? sounds like a you issue.” LMAOOOOO this is so cute and funny at the same time, i love it, such a gojo thing to say

flicker of flame - ( @tteokdoroki ) fluff, nervous soon to be dad!gojo, pregnant!reader, he´s going to be the best dad ever

mirror´s pov - ( @teddybeartoji ) smut, "satoru likes jerking off in front of a mirror" YUP, a whole POV of him beating his meat to the thought of you BEAUTIFULLY written, very detailed

missionary - ( @babiexiao ) smut, fluff, THIS IS SO :(((( so beautiful

[neveralarch]

You said older fics were open 👀 👀 so 1, 5, 9 for Passé please because I’m obsessed with it

(transformers fencing au, megatron & starscream, wheeljack/starscream)

Thank you for asking about passe!! I've been holding onto this until I had enough time to give it a good answer haha

(under the cut for brief references to abuse in sport)

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

The basic story behind fencing au is that I was refereeing at a fencing tournament and the person who'd been put as my roommate spent one evening telling me about everyone in fencing who had Wronged them. I'd already heard a lot of these stories from the other side, versions where this person had been causing the drama instead of receiving it. None of it was very serious and I don't know what the 'correct' version was but it just got me thinking about like... The stories we tell ourselves and the ways we justify things we've done wrong or that've been done to us.

At the same time, fencing (and Olympic sports in general) were going through a lot of discussions about how to confront abuse, and what to do with people who had been punished and returned to the sport, and I kinda just wanted to muddle through this in a fictional space with robots. This is pretty much what I do with all heavy topics nowadays.

(ughh tumblr deleted this next paragraph, WHY)

It was always my intention to finish the main story arc with a Megatron pov fic where you'd finally get that other side of the story that had been hinted at. Where you'd see that Megatron was likeable and trying to genuinely come back to this sport he loved ... But also have to confront that he really did poison it in ways that were maybe worse than you thought. It was super cathartic to write but I was a little worried about how it would be received. It's been so great over the years to see how it's resonated with people.

5: What part was hardest to write?

Fun fact, Passe was written pretty much entirely by voice memo. I drive 45 minutes each way to fencing so I used to write fic on the way back at night and then edit it as I typed it up later. This is actually great for just getting a first draft out of yourself but you also have to remember a Lot. Which is why I accidentally wrote the final bout twice. And then had to edit the versions together haha.

In general, it was really tricky to figure out how to write fencing action in a way that was accurate without being tedious or confusing to the non fencer. I also spent a LOT of time on that final confrontation with starscream, bc I wanted it to be satisfying without descending into stiff therapy roleplay. Lots of tricky parts!

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Tbh since I had the whole thing planned out early, I never really considered alternate versions. EXCEPT that before I decided it would be distracting to shove in this much detail and a little jarring to the tone, the first team Megatron fenced was supposed to be Kup and his buddies Phork and Spuun.

[soleilocverse]

Chapter 21 Commentary

Wrote this ch over. Many a moon. But while finishing it up had a strep throat scare While 3 days away from a big test that I can only take once a year and i was. Very Stressed.

"Can you bring me,” he names the first thing he can think of just to get Ray to move, “a bottle of water, please. And then can you please just come get Ness?” 

(I keep accidentally deleting these draft notes aaa) but I think it's cool to see Soleil being Actively manipulative? He did it too when he asked Ray for stuff but he's v aware of how to change his demeanor to get what he wants/appease people. Like, it's always been along the lines of being submissive in some way but there are different ways of playing that (in this case, by submitting to ray's desire to bring something to him, even if he doesn't think he needs anything, he can move things along.) and he is aware that the others want him to be able to ask for things Plus they defer to him when it's Ness in mind

so while he tends not to ask for things partially bc he genuinely doesn't want to be a burden/ask for too much/owe them for it/etc, there's also the constantly analyzing part of him that knows if he doesn't ask for much, when he Really wants to ask for something, even if it's something he thinks the others might be hesitant about (but not Too hesitant. he wants to play Into their feelings, not try and oppose them) then he's much more likely to get it. like. having ray take ness and leave soleil in the suite while barely giving him time to think about it

"Hi, baby" croon

Was re-reading and got walloped noticing that I'd written Soleil going "hi, baby" over the phone in the same kind of croon that he has when he goes "hi, baby" when Ness wakes up for him in the basement and i,,,, it wasn't intentional, it's just a thing he Does and i think it's going to keep popping up. Just that, swell of relief and a teeny bit of desperation coming out in that croon.

i keep wanting to write ness in a high chair and then i have to go No booster seat, u know why, bc i think it'd be insanely cute for him to play w/ things on a tray table or to see him kick his little feet but he's not quite That tiny

Cyrill's texting

I had to go back and edit over Cyrill's texting so much bc i was like. babes. this is just You (specifically, i wrote "totes" in my author notes and then went back and saw him type totes twice and was like.......hm don't like that HKDSJHSK), so, i've decided cyrill uses a lot more shortened words like tgt/ofc. he doesn't tend to type out the "you" "are" etc and uses a lot of emojis. i think actually, he would be an Atrocious texter when it comes to katie bc he thinks it's funny when he shortens words so much it's just consonants or just straight up only uses emojis and makes her figure out what he's trying to say (which she tends to do!!)

Soft versions because my brain is too fried to get into that headspace rn: "🤒🤒🤒🤒🤒🤒🤒🤒🤒🤒😩😩🤧😫😫 let me out" when he gets sick or "💗🐶😷🤒😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭, he’s so upset about it too 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔" when soleil gets sick (i think this will also mutate into soleil just Being the pink heart eventually but for clarity's sake it's pink haired dog 😭)

He only manages a couple and spends the rest of the time running his finger pad up and down the sleeve, feeling the little bumps of the crackers and not really hearing the crackling of the plastic.

idk the sensory of mindlessly running his finger up and down the bumps got me here and then i had to parallel it w/ ness's spine

He has the oddly calm thought that “this is it.” If Ness dies, this is it for him, forever. There won't be anything left.

HI, i want you to know that this entire scene came to me into a dream and these lines absolutely blasted the fuck out of me.

[anissagraces]

Big ass gif tutorial

It’s been a while since I made a coloring tutorial, and I thought it would be useful if I made a full tutorial on how I make my gifs. I will go over: 

how to screencap

making your gif in ps

sharpening

coloring that gif

putting subtitles on a gif

saving that gif

you will need

a hd copy of the episode/movie you want to gif 

potplayer (or kmplayer)

a version of photoshop (I use CC)

a sharpening action 

A psd or patience to color your own gif

end result:

Everything will be under the cut. Warning: this will be picture heavy and text heavy. English is my third language so there will probably be some mistakes in here.

If this is the first time using photoshop, your startpage will look pretty blank. I’ll show you what you need to make visible to gif. 

Click on “window”. The screencap I made of the settings is pretty big so click here if you need to see it.

Not seen in the picture but useful: actions, properties, character, paragraph

STEP 1: THE FILE

Okay first of all, you’ll need your file. I recommend downloading µtorrent, then going to a torrent site (like rarbg.to) and searching for your episode or movie. ALWAYS choose 1080p and web dl if possible (web dl means logoless) Example: wynonna earp s01e01, then in your search results, look for one that has both 1080p and web dl in the title. 720p is also good. 

You can also find twitters that post logoless episodes and movies, this is better if you don’t like using torrents or if you live in a country that gives you fines for torrenting (I’m lucky, Belgium doesn’t care). If you want a list of a bunch of twitters that share logoless episodes and movies, message me off anon so I can link you privately. 

STEP 2: CAPPING

When you have your file, download potplayer (or kmplayer). Open the program and open the file you want to cap. 

Search for the moment you want to gif. Tip: hover over the playline thing to see what scene is at what time. Normally it looks somthing like this: 

  Press ctrl + g when you have the moment you want  This window opens:

Change your settings to mine ^^. I made a new folder in my Pictures folder where all my caps go bc it’s easier to go to. It’s up to you where you save all of them, but I suggest you pick one you can easily access. Click start.

Click escape and start your video. Pause again when you have what you wanted (this can be a whole scene or a moment, depends on what kind of gifset your making). Press ctrl+g again and click “stop”, then close. 

Now go to the folder where you saved your caps. I always make another new folder inside that one, put all the captures in there (unless I’m doing a scene, then I’ll make 6-8 new folders and distribute all the captures in those folders. Note that with the 3mb limit you’ll be able to use about 60-120 captures per gif, sometimes more. You can always delete layers of your gif in case it goes over 3mb)

Tip: make all your screencaps before opening photoshop. If you’re making a general character/ship gifset, that can take a while, but it’ll save you time if you seperate the two actions. 

After you have taken all your caps, open photoshop. You can download it on any photoshop tumblr like yeahps or itsphotoshop. I cannot give you the link to mine because it doesn’t exist anymore, but I got it from kickass (rip).

STEP 3: OPENING AND MAKING THE GIF IN PS

We have our caps and our ps open, but now we have to open those captures in photoshop. Do not use ‘open’, but Files > Scripts > Load multiple DICOM files

I know a lot of people choose ‘Load Files into Stack’ but Load Multiple DICOM files is SO much faster. 

This window will open

Now you go to the folder where you saved all your caps, choose the file with the screencaps for 1 gif and open it. 

It might take a little bit for everything to load, especially if there’s a lot of screencaps, so just wait. 

When you have everything, click on “Create video timeline”. It might be called something different if you have another version of PS, but whatever it says here:

(I know I know, I make pretty arrows lmao)

Then click those 3 boxes on the left side

Next step is ‘make frames from layers’, after that click “flatten frames into layers”

STEP 4: CROPPING

Obviously our gif doesn’t have to be as big as it is in ps right now, so we’ll crop to make it smaller. For this, you need to know the dimensions Tumblr uses: 

540px for 1 gif in a row 

268px for 2 gifs next to each other

177px - 178px - 177px for 3 gifs in a row (this is something annoying à la tumblr, and because it’s hard to predict which gifs you’ll put in the middle when cropping, I make them all 178px in width and then crop the ones I won’t use in the middle to be 177px after)

You can choose to use the old dimensions which are 500px, 245px and 160px.

These are the widths, you can choose the heights yourself. For this gif I’ll be cropping 268 x 150

This is the cropping tool

click it and you’ll see this on the topbar of your screen. Type in your dimensions

Then crop as you wish. This is my result. 

STEP 5: CHANGING YOUR IMAGE SIZE + SHARPENING

The gif is way too big at this moment, so go to image > image size, this window opens:

Click “okay” and your gif will be a lot smaller. Use ctrl + “+” to make it bigger 

This is what our photoshop looks like right now

These steps look like A LOT of work but as soon as you’re used to the steps, it’ll take you about a minute to do all of this. 

Next is sharpening. I use a sharpening action made by ilanawexler but it’s pretty complicated, so I do not recommend it if you’re a beginner. I will however explain it fully here. Note: I had to do something different than the directions the blogger gave, so what I get might not work for others and you might have a different outcome

Select all your frames (from 1 -)

then click “convert to videotimeline” (it’s possible it’s called differently in your ps)

when you did that, add two layers on top of your other layers

Select all your frames (frame 1 to layer 2), right click and click “convert to smart object”

Then, go to your actions. If you just downloaded your action, you have to add it. 

When that’s done, open the bobbiesdraper sharpen and click “action 2″. Thn click the play icon

It’ll a LOT of stuff, but just let it be. 

Warning: if you changed anything to the frames in the timeline section, this won’t work. I noticed that if I delete frames or change the delay, ... before sharpening, it won’t work. 

If it worked, you now have this

I’m not sure if it’s normal, but I now have twice the frames I had before, but only the SECOND amount is sharpened. So I delete frame 1-35 now in the timeline section. 

This is my gif after sharpening (you can use this to practice coloring or to follow along with my coloring tutorial below)

this psd automatically sets the delay for your gif to 0,05, I always change it to 0,06 (sometimes 0,07). Just select all your frames, then click on the 0,05, ‘other’ and choose whatever you like. The max I would go is 0,08 (0,07-0,08 is the speed the episodes go btw when you watch them)

STEP 6: COLORING

Now the fun part!! You can either choose to use a psd (here are my psds) or you can color it yourself. 

For this tutorial, I’ll be doing a basic coloring. (that means: steps I always use to start my colorings).

We start with curves. For this gif, these are the settings: (this is a pretty bright gif so for darker scenes you’ll have to use more, but don’t start with too much, build it up)

then some levels to give the gif more depth

I usually enter 10 for the black (unless it’s a very dark gif) and I’ll move the arrow of the white to where the little line starts. 

Some brightness

Some black selective color (I always enter 10, unless it’s a dark gif)

Color balance (also usually start with this, unless it’s a blue gif, then I’ll move the arrows to red, magenta and yellow). If the gif is VERY yellow, I’ll add more in cyan and blue.

Then I’ll add a vibrance layer, +100 vibrance. 

This is what I have now (with a pretty watermark). These are the layers I will always start with. 

You can stop here, but I like to add some more to my gif so I’m continueing

I like adding more blues so I’ll add a selective color layer: (you can also decrease magentas is the “blue” ones to make the blues more cyan)

For blondes, I like making their hair stand out more so I’ll add a selective color layer for the yellows:

Of course, there’s a lot of yellow in the skintone so chances are the skin will look very yellow now, I add a color balance layer and change the highlights. (In darker gifs you might need to change the midtones instead)

Some magentas to make the lips stand out

and some contrast

That’s all for coloring. This is what my gif looks like right now:

STEP 7: SUBTITLES

If you want to add text, click this icon

these are the settings for my text

Then we’ll add some other adjustments to make the text more visible:

click on the fx icon

then click ‘stroke’

click okay, and click on the FX icon again, then click “drop shadow”

when you added all your adjustments, duplicate the textlayer and delete the first one (if not, your adjustments will only show on 1 layer instead of the whole gif)

If your text isn’t in the middle of your gif. Click your text layer, then click this icon

then in your topbar, adjust with these tools

this is what the text looks like now:

here is the psd for the text

STEP 8: SAVING

Of course, you have to save your gifs. Go to File > Save for web and this window will open

Make sure your settings look like these:

Make sure this number isn’t above 3 mb

That’s all!!! If you have any questions, you can always come ask me. I’m sorry if this wasn’t clear, but I hope it made atleast a bit sense.

[katranga]

Disclaimer: Fic is just for fun. Nobody on ao3, or tumblr, or wherever, is expecting perfection. Most of these tips are gonna take a little extra time and effort to implement, and if you don’t feel like doing that, because you just wanna post the darn thing? Go for it! I’m not here to tell you what to do, and I’m certainly not saying that your writing is bad if you don’t follow these tips. These are just suggestions that will hopefully help you improve your work, if that’s what you’re after.

Intro: Why Revise?

To kick things off, I’d like to go over the importance of revision!! This is more of a general writing tip, but it’s a great starting point, because I DON’T want you to be thinking about most of my future tips while you’re writing the first draft. 

I want you to get. those. words. on. the. page! That’s all you should be worried about when you’ve got a blank page staring you in the face. 

There’s so much pressure to get writing right the first time, but I’m here to tell you that’s pretty much impossible. So, pressure’s off! Just write the basics so you get to know your story first. I

I know it seems like writing it perfectly will save you editing/revising time later on, but you can’t revise—let alone post—what you don’t have written because you’re stuck on one line that doesn’t sound just right. You with me so far? Great!

Honestly, writing gets so much faster when you remind yourself that no one is going to see your first draft!

So I cannot overstate the importance of revision.

Because guess what? Everything you don’t like about your first draft can be fixed in revision!

Okay. What is it?

To clarify, when I say first draft, I don’t mean the stuff you do in high school, where you write out a shitty essay on paper first and then type it up basically the same, just to prove to the teacher you wrote a first draft?? Or whatever.

I mean you just write the absolute basics of your story down, and fill in the rest and perfect it later (I’ll go into detail about how exactly to do that in my motivation post).

Now, grammar, spelling, and overall readability, are all important things to fix before you post. But that’s little stuff, and your word processor will be able to pick up on some of that, and just rewording a few sentences to make them clearer probably won’t take too much effort on your end (though I am gonna have a post about filler words and clarity and stuff like that, so if that tends to be a problem for you, I gotchu).

Besides basic grammar/spelling, most of what I change as my first draft transforms into my second or third is: 

Improving the flow of a scene (it can’t all be dialogue, unfortunately)

Pacing throughout the fic (are they falling love too fast? is this scene too long? etc)

Overall clarity (I know why the character did that, but will the reader?)

It may be different for you. Basically, you’re polishing up whatever you didn’t worry about writing the first draft.

My first drafts, for example? They’re 80% dialogue. Because that’s my favourite! And that’s what comes to me when I’m dreaming up fics. But then I go back later and beef up the rest—the characters’ movements in a scene, their inner dialogue, description etc.

Because as much as I love dialogue, scenes feel empty and too-fast with just characters talking. Similarly, scenes can feel bogged down and slow with just characters thinking about things.

But revision isn’t just about adding things! Sometimes you need to take stuff out. Inner dialogue that later gets covered by dialogue? Cut it. (Or vice versa—maybe the detail isn’t important enough for the characters to talk about, and just the mention of it within the narration is enough).

The point is, repetition needs to go. The reader rarely needs to be told the same thing twice.

Quick example from the top of my head:

Lance had lost his jacket. He’d looked over the whole castle for it, but couldn’t find it anywhere. His brother gave him that jacket. One of his last ties to Earth, and it was missing in action.

Maybe Keith took it to spite him, that jerk.

“What’s up, Lance?” Hunk asked when he passed him in the hall.

“I lost my jacket!” Lance said. “My signature jacket, the one Marco gave me! I’ve looked everywhere, but it’s gone. Do you think Keith stole it?”

Same information twice: Lance can’t find his brother’s jacket despite a thorough search, and suspects Keith stole it. No reason to repeat that. Something’s gotta go.

I know cutting stuff isn’t fun. You worked hard on that! You spent hours/days/whatever perfecting a sentence until it gleamed like a diamond, and now just because you thought of a better way to get that information across you have to get rid of it? No way!

I’ve been there, trust me. But hanging on just slows down the whole writing process. Because, for me at least, I know when stuff needs to go, or needs a massive overhaul, or whatever. I’m just digging my heels in because I don’t wanna do any additional work.

Luckily, this is where your shitty first draft comes in handy! If all you did was spit words onto the page as soon as they entered your head, then you didn’t spend a lot of back-breaking effort on whatever you need to cut! And what you need to cut isn’t anything awe-inspiring, it’s just your rough notes, so tossing it aside isn’t nearly as stressful!

Remember, you can always save scenes/dialogue/etc in a separate document! Maybe you’ll be able to salvage some it later. Alternatively, create separate versions of the doc as you edit/revise. If you end up actually needing part of a deleted scene, you’ve still got it somewhere!

And please, never think of the stuff you cut (or fics you never finished) as “wasted time”. Writing time is never wasted! You’re practicing, you’re honing your craft, and even if some bits never see the light of day, you’re still benefitting from all that work you did!

Now, I know I know I know most people edit/revise as they write. Can’t think of the next scene? Reread the previous scene and fiddle with it until something comes to you. That’s great! Revising already written material is loads better than just staring at your screen!

BUT I’ve recently started writing the whole gosh darn diddly thing without looking back and that is so much faster! While I highly recommend it, that’s obviously difficult to do when you don’t know what’s going to happen next in the fic.

Or if you just don’t have the motivation. So! That’ll be our next topic: Getting words on the page!

But for now, I’ve got an example under the cut, as well as additional resources and links if you want to learn more about revision!

Here’s where I take an old embarrassing fic of mine and revise it, hopefully clarifying the points I’ve been making, as well as proving that only practice makes better!

Okay so this is an excerpt of one of my unpublished fics from 2011. I’m just gonna be honest with you here, it was a Twilight human!AU where Edward was a massive nerd. 

For background, Bella has been at the new school like a week and is appalled at the bullying happening to Edward, who she barely knows. (It’s first person bc that’s how the books were written. Just deal with it.)

Here we go:

“They gave him a swirly yesterday,” I announced, appalled.

“Who?”

“Edward!”

Jessica shrugged, unaffected. “Nothing new.”

“Well what are they, twelve?” I demanded angrily.

“He kind of needed a hair wash,” Mike muttered.

Snorts of amusement followed.

“Stuffing his head into a toilet is not funny,” I argued.

“Yes it is, Bella,” Alice chuckled.

“Kay, next time we go to the bathroom, I’ll shove your head into a toilet,” I offered. “And we’ll all laugh about it.”

This was a whole scene, I kid you not. Now, this isn’t bad because it’s just dialogue. It’s ten lines. That’s a reasonable amount of space for a quick dialogue exchange. HOWEVER, there’s about four people in this scene, so the dialogue tags are a little sparse. ALSO, this is the first time Bella’s bringing her concerns about Edward to the group, so there should be more inner reflection on that.

Overall, it’s just way too minimalist lol. So  this is a good example to beef up.

First of all: where the fuck are we? Notice how no setting was given? Not the greatest habit to get into. If it’s already been established in the fic where people are, and the setting’s not that important, I guess you can skip it, but a quick mention isn’t gonna hurt. You don’t want the reader confused!

Since this a Twilight fic, let’s say they’re in the caf. (In Voltron fics, you’re probably gonna be on the ship, but you can always mention what room they’re in. Or, if it’s a new planet, give a line or two of description).

Explanations for changes I made are in [square brackets]:

I tossed my lunch tray onto the table before throwing myself onto the chair next to Alice. “They gave him a swirly yesterday.”

[Indicated setting. Also implied she was feeling “appalled” using verbs instead of outright stating it. Showing not telling!]

Across from me, Angela looked up from the sandwich she was picking at. “Who?”

[Indicated who was speaking—always important—as well as gave brief description of speaker].

“Edward,” I said like it should be obvious. I scanned the cafeteria for him, but the corner he usually sat in alone was empty.

[Another mention of setting. Also backed up her concern for Edward with action and not just talking about him].

Jessica shrugged, unaffected. “So what?”

“So?” I repeated incredulously.

So I’d never heard of someone actually getting a swirly. In real life. Shitty teen dramas? Yeah. Actual high school? No. It was ridiculous, and gross, and… I hadn’t seen anything to indicate Edward deserved it. (Nobody who’d ever deserved a swirly had ever received one, I was sure).

[The almighty character motivation! Note that you don’t actually have to explicitly state why they’re doing something—obviously we as the reader know the deep-down motivation is because Bella cares for Edward. But characters are not always forthcoming with information, even to themselves. Right now she’s focusing on the unjustness of the situation, and partially trying to convince herself that’s all it is].

Mike slung an arm across the back of Jessica’s chair, snorting a laugh. “He needed to wash his hair, anyway.”

“A toilet’s not gonna do that, Mike!”

[Just a cleverer response. Also, a dialogue tag isn’t needed, because no other speaker at the table is gonna be defending Edward. We know it’s Bella.]

He ignored my glare, choosing instead to steal a fry off my plate. I smacked his hand away.

[Again—action. The characters aren’t just static in their seats.]

“Well, really,” Alice began. “What’s it matter?” She sat up sharply, an idea just now occurring to her. “You haven’t been making friends with him, have you? I told you, Bella, it’s social suicide!”

[Gives Alice a chance to respond to Bella’s outburst—in this AU Alice is very concerned with popularity and does not want Bella associating with Edward. She would definitely have a problem with Bella sympathizing with Edward.]

I rolled my eyes. “No, I just…”

The whole situation was ridiculous. This wasn’t how people should be treated. Was I the only one who realized that? Was I really the only one who cared?

“Whatever,” I grumbled, crunching down on a fry.

[This feels like a more natural resolution to the conversation. Alice directly asks why Bella cares, and Bella reiterates to herself it’s just because. And then decides it’s not worth the argument. This is 2k into an (unfinished) 30k fic. She’ll make a bigger deal out of stuff later.]

Now it looks more like a real scene! 

So, to summarize, I added: Description—both setting and character! Character musing! Cleverer comebacks! 

These are just some of the things that you can fix with a keen-eyed round of revision.

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And that about wraps this up! I didn’t want this to get too long, but it did anyway. (I’m sorry about the graphics I’m a writer, not a graphic designer. But I had to split the post up so it wasn’t one big block of text)

Was any of that helpful? Was it too long? Did the example clarify things? Let me know, I wanna make sure these tips are helpful!

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Additional Resources That I Highly Recommend:

DRAFTING: THE THEORY OF SHITTY FIRST DRAFTS -- This post probably explains shitty first drafts better than I ever could! If you still have concerns about it, definitely check it out.

Editing & Revision Answerathon -- Okay, this video is pretty long, but I looove Max Kirin for anything writing-related and especially revision!! They’ve got a tumblr and a Youtube account filled with writing tips! If you like getting your writing info through videos, definitely check out their stuff.

Top 5 Writing Tips: Revision -- Here’s an infographic by Max if you don’t want to watch a 44 minute video lol. Also, you can go through their /tagged/revision for more!