#i hate asking for help - but im working on it - and its feels like the walls are closing in on me and im suffocating | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

frobby · 2 months

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I think it would be really funny if rin was the more helpful one around his house. Like u would think rin would be the disrespectful one who always bails on housework or mass but its actually yukio who would always have an excuse not to go or forget about chores to the point that rin just does them instinctively now

#this post lagged my phone so bad i had to save it as a draft and switch it to my computer #god is trying to stop me from spreading my 'yukio is an atheist' ideals #anyway this extends to when they live together and when they are adults to the point that rin comes over and does all the chores for yukio #cuz this created an oroboros since rin always did them as a kid now yukio doesnt have them in his brain #he tries his best tho he would neveradmit (at least in highschool) that hes kind of a boyfailure at housework #rin is a homemaker this is my truth #rin is like kinda resentful but not enough to act on it and its so deep down he doesnt even realize its there #like yeah its kinda fucked up that he would ask yukio for help setting things up for mass or doing the laundry but yukio has a busy scedule #and hes wayy smarter than rin so obviously he shouldnt waste his time on stuff like that but rin would never voice those in a negative way #rin doesnt hate helping his brother tho if yukio asked him to come over and clean his house everyday forever he would probably do it #its just the principal of yukio being a perfect angel and rin not getting any credit cuz hes doing 'thankless jobs'#and yukio kinda feels bad even tho he really did have things to do he just couldnt tell rin cuz it was exorcist work #im just writing fanfiction now #accept my okumura twin fanfiction headcanons #blue exorcist #ao no exorcist #yukio okumura #rin okumura #'blue exorcist' 'ao no exorcist' yukio okumura' 'rin okumura' are my most used tags on tumblr #am i in your hearts yet blue exorcist tumbr?🥺

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carcarrot · 3 months

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well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job

#maybe i should just become unemployed. maybe i should just suffer!#recap of todays further events .#that supervisor? who i kinda didnt already like but now absolutely hate?#she came down to confirm that i wasnt leaving. okay . and then she fucking tells me #oh we're going to get another person to help out from this other company. we were going to do that bc we thought you were leaving #but she thinks that even if im staying there should be another person on this floor. bc apparently more has to be done #and there are 'constant complaints' abt this floor . which doesnt make sense to me bc there shouldnt be #and so we're waiting to see what the manager decides but hes on fucking vacation and wont get back until. next week??#she said she was gonna email him and like right after she left i emailed and texted him explaining everything #and trying to very nicely say hey what the fuck are you doing you don't need to hire anyone else #and if im doing a bad job fucking tell me so i can do it better. bitch #and she had the nerve to fucking tell me when she was talking to me #that i wont find an easier job than this one #well if its so fucking easy why are we hiring someone else #by the way getting that extra person from this other company doesnt cost them anything which is why theyre doing it i think #which is making me not feel good abt my own future lmao. like why would they keep paying me when they can get someone for free #and she was saying all this stuff like oh you have it so good here we dont write you up i do all this stuff to help you like . ok #i didnt ask you to come downstairs w the coffee order and if you wanted me to i would come up . god #but the thing of me not being able to find a better job like wow! what if i killed you. for saying that to my face #and she talks abt how shes been w the company 20 years ok and that doesnt give you an excuse to treat me like a child. jesus #anyway im very pissed off and not enjoying my work situation lol. i dont wanna do this anymore #but looking at other jobs im so unemployable. sigh

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deepperplexity · 10 months

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Any help would be beyond appreciated ♥️

After I made this goal a few weeks ago things changed for the worse again. Today (Monday, 11th December 2023) I got hit with a bill double the size I expected from my accountant (1.100usd). I'm at my wits end with my all-time dream and life-passion turned giant goal I've been working endlessly to reach.

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If you enjoy my writing, of any kind, please consider sharing this or checking out my books - ask your library to get one or more of them (available world wide) if you would like to support but it's not in your budget - times are hard AF and I fully understand that ♥️

Thank you for reading, here's a cuddly hug if you want one 🫂 and a thank you ♥️

#feels like im drowning and i dont know what to do when im working as hard as i can #i hate asking for help - but im working on it - and its feels like the walls are closing in on me and im suffocating #not expecting anything - im grateful for everything and a reblog could help someone find my books that they may love #sorry for interrupting your dash scrolling with this Kofi post - do not feel bad for ignoring it if you dont want to reblog!#ko fi support #kofi #ko fi link

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 10 months

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Phullo it is I again!

I am very glad that you actually responded and given me an actual advice since I was worried about the question I sent you.

Though besides that I have another question for you (hoorayyy)!

So, about the reading books earlier- I’m fortunately a bookworm too! It’s just that I notice I prefer reading the genre science fiction/psychological horror more than… anything else!

And while the books I am currently reading, ‘Flowers For Algernon’ and ‘I’m Thinking Of Ending Things’ (these books are seriously so wonderfully made they make want to tear my walls), DO have romantic aspects of it- it’s not really the main plot of the story..

‘Flowers For Algernon’ has amazing storytelling and is very unique- though I’m not sure if you’ve read it before but, it’s actually just the main character taking notes. Hence why there was a lot misspellings which honestly makes it a great touch if you know the context behind it.

On the other hand, ‘I’m Thinking Of Ending Things’ too shares the same uniqueness as the other, possibly even more unique if I must say so myself. Though I REALLY don’t want to make my story similar to them since I want to make it more heart warming than fucked up..

Which is why I feel like I have the need to borrow or buy at least one romantic book because, I lack of it. I mean I accidentally borrowed it one time but it was kind of disappointing.

I don’t know if its a good idea and if I should do it or not since does it really matter of the genre, or just the writing?

Still, if you have any good books that are in the romance genre. Feel free to recommend some to me!

-lots of love, from another bookworm

welcome back! happy to hear you're a bookworm as well <3 im writing those titles down since i read a criminal lack of sci-fi despite loving it

i actually don't have any straight up romance recs - i don't actively search it out (outside of fanfic), so any romance i read just comes with whatever book i've picked up. just straight up romance bores me, unless its a fic with a pairing i actively like. and even then, i need to take breaks from it unless the romance is interspersed with an actual plot. im not a romantically-geared person! i dont have single Main Plot Is Romance book on my shelves!

but imo its really just the quality of writing that helps. ive never been in a romance, im the child of two different divorces, and yet ive been told that i write romance fairly well. go fuckin figure lmao.

so actually my advice on romance is to just like. wow idk what i do is pick apart the romances i see on tv / in writing. what makes them good together, how do they act around each other, what are their love languages, what's their dynamic, what traditional romance things do they partake in, what dont they partake in, do they have anything nontraditional, do they work and why do / they dont they - does that make their relationship more interesting or is it flat. are they a good match.

you don't have to have every answer, but ive found that at least understanding their characters / dynamics, and having them interact in a way that suits them will help your romance feel natural. dont conform to tropes or tradition, that will just make the relationship flat and unrealistic. and you can always sprinkle in little things that you like / would like, which will help ground the romance and get you into the groove

tldr with romance, i think it's better to observe real life (whether that's paying attention to couples or reading reddit threads) & analyze in-love or in-a-relationship characters instead of just reading romance novels. bc honestly, and from what i can tell, they can tend to be over the top or cookie cutter

just realized you did not explicitly ask for romance advice! Oopsie! i got a little carried away here....

#another thing i like to do is analyze bad fictional relationships / ones i dont like #both bc it gives me a concise argument / explanation if someone gets on me about it #and bc it helps me understand what makes good romances Good #bc bad relationships make me sit there and ask 'well. what went wrong here? why dont they work? why do i hate this? whats Missing?'#and filling in those gaps teaches me what Does work. what will go Right. why i Love it. what Is there.#sometimes the answer is simply bad writing & after taking a deeper look #i can conclude they they Are good for each other - the show/book just shoved them together with no reason other than #'need romance' or 'boy meet girl' or 'love at first sight'#i mean there are some romances that i look at it and im like 'wow! this should not be happening!'#but i Like it because its interesting enough! a good example is aline & the darkling from the grishaverse #such a fucking unhealthy relationship. really well written. fascinating. hot as hell. important for the story/characters.#i wanted to rip them apart but also glue them together to see how horrible the train crash would be!!!!#absolutely unprompted #so i mean... i think i can rec books that Have good romances in them? but thats not the focus by any means #lemme know... i know im less helpful this time around but i hope im helping a little!#feel free to ask as many questions as you like - ill do my best with all of them

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possamble · 5 months

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I think the most egregious case of "tagging a background f/f ship" is when the f/f ship is an established couple that spends most of their screentime trying to get the m/m or f/m ship together. They barely even flirt. Many such cases. :(

I know there are real problems I could get heated about but this one truly makes me want to book a rage room

#asks #yeah sure fine whatever use characters as an accessory or plot device #can you just keep it out of the actual tags for that relationship #we actually want to see them being romantic and important to each other instead of acting entirely for the benefit of another couple thanks #i hate to say this but in my experience ive seen it so much more often for m/m than anything else. maybe its just the fandoms ive been in #but some people think its uwu mlm wlw solidarity to use f/f pairings as accessories to their m/m pairings and its like #you can do that! i get why its cute and feel good to have characters be friends who care abt each others love lives!#but can you please understand that people who use the f/f pairing tag actually want to see them being in love themselves #and not have their entire plot relevance revolve around the dudes in their life.#youre misrepresenting the content of your fic if you tag a pairing as one of the main relationships when theyre only there to help another #pairing along #and believe it or not it gets really tiring to see.#and we can't even joke amongst ourselves about keeping the m/m exclusion filter on without getting accused of homophobia #or being 'weirdo fucking yuriheads' or whatever the trendiest insult lately is #anyway. whatever. this is all so stupid and petty im just gonna clock into work lmfao

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be-good-to-bugs · 4 months

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would love if people would be normal about tourettes

#the bin #of qll my disabilities tourettes is the one i have the most to say about. and its the one i deal with the most social bullshit from #i hate how people treat me not ticcing like its a good thing. its good for you. for me its miserable.#and how they feel entitled to the knowledge of how my tics have been #i hate so much when ill do something very strange or disruptive and immediately get asked if i ever did that at work #every conversation about it feels like im being made fun of or looked at like something so other #its either treated like a nuisance to others. a source if entertainment. or like a horrible curse i have thats bad because of the social #impact it has and others treating me bad. insulting pity. they treat it so different to all my other disabilities #the other ones are treated like a quirk of the body that sucks. like how people i know talk about their own pain #but pain caused by tics is different. people talk wbout it not like a disability but like a magic curse #and no matter how much i ask for it to be ignored by others they refuse. they act like theyre helping me by asking me wbout it #or giving commentary qbout it when i tic. leawve me alone. you treat it liek a tragety because i have to live with such a visable thing #that others dont understand and deal with weird looks and commentary. and then give me weird looks and commentary #i hate it. tourettes itself kinda sucks bc tics are physically unpleasant but its tolerable. thats just how my kife is #what isnt tolerable is howw people act about it. nobody in my family is normal wbout it. after iw was diagnosed its like they all saw me as #a different person. ugh

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mejomonster · 2 months

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I hate panic attacks

#rant #which is to say i hate the whirlwind of specifically bad times in my life that brought them on and kept them #i hate that they trigger when i feel strong Anything #ive been trying to Dissassociate less and feel more. because feeling stuff does HELP me notice whats helping or hurting me #but like. i WISH it was about feeling joy and pleasure and excitement. maybe ill feel those eventually #but right now Any strong emotion is still ridiculously close to triggering panic attacks #im still terrified to go watch a play. because i LOVE plays and the last times ive gone for the past decade #ive had awful panic attacks because my brain clicked Love them with Intense Feeling into Panic dont breathe chest hurts Hate Urself #turns out my brain didnt just attach the trigger to fear of loud noises or fear of asking for #trigger from self hating thiught loops #it alsp clicked the trigger into: particularly notiveable romantic feelings of any kind (lile someome? have a panic attack! thatll keep u #physically incapable of getting near them! like plays! lets have you unable to breathe sobbimg hysterical so ur terrified to be trapped in #the audiience for hours! fucking hate hate hate it)#neurofeedback and emdr certainly lowered the panic attack rate per day or week to a Lesser per month situation #but im still lucky if i get thru a pa without illogivally trying to Fix it the irrational way i did when young which is hit myself #in the illogical hope if im injured enough ill be able to think again (which doesnt work its dangerous and makes the panic attack last #longer a pa just does Not let u think rationally untol its over u CANNOT try and fix it while in it and dping that makes it much worse)#if i get thru a pa without a concussion ive done much better than usual :/ i dont want any more #im so tired man. i want to go see a play!#i dont want to Try and then end up hyperventilating and crying with my brain imsisting i Need To be Dead for 2 hours #im the parking lot because it triggers when i park. or worse it triggers when i drive and i have to pull over and im trapped x place for #hours. either way i miss the play i wanted to fucking see!#i hate how panic attacks feel like a trap. not even a trap i can fight. its my own limitation. goddamn ive been fatigued ive been dying #in a hospital a few times. panic attacks feel worse to me. at least dying i can do something (eventually) to stop #altho i guess dying for hours in hospital until i got helped was similar. but ill hopefully only go thru that 1-2 more times in life #and i had like 5 panic attacks during that hospital visit since a heart rate so high like 200 cant calm down anyway

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tiredflowercrown · 1 month

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#i wanna work around kids again so badly #seeing my cousin today just really solidified how much i love kids #and yet i know i cant go back because i so severely doubt i will find a place that could accommodate me #i dont wanna have daily shutdowns because im getting stuck out of ratio with no help #but i miss those kids so much #i wanna go help and nurture #and i know its something im made for #any career aptitude test i take has childcare in top 5 #it just feels like another thing that has been robbed of me because of my disabilities #not that anyone in my life would admit that i have any #why does it feel like everything i love is impossible because im broken #i love baking and the fiid industry but it takes so much out if me that sometimes i wonder if its even a viable plan #everything is so exhausting and yet i just have to keep miving and burning out and getting denied because im wrong #because there is something so wrong with me that people grow ti hate me and will hate and use me because im just a tool #thats all i am #and tools dint get decisions on what job they wanna do or responsibilities they can handle or whi they wanna be #they just get used and used and used until they break and then they are thrown away #are the cracks visible yet?#i dont wanna be useless #i just want to do what i love #is that too much to ask for

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toytulini · 4 months

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wheres that post about how its hard to have like a fucking depression spiral or whatever while knitting bc lemme tell u im sitting here fighting back tears while actively crocheting and its not fucking working

#toy txt post #depression spiral self worth spiral the world sucks and everything is bad and stupid spiral #whatever you want to call it. im fucking miserable and my eyes keep watering and making it kinda hard to see the fucking stitches #guess thatd be less of an issue if i was doing a standard moss stitch instead if a modified variant w half doubles and working into the #stitch under the space instead of in the chain space which is a little more annoying and fiddly to find than the chain space #whatever. its all the same stupid fucking shit anyway. whatever whatever whatever whatever #nothing matters everything is stupid and sucks and whats the fucking point! god #and then dad will just get home and sternly scold me for not looking for a job anyway #as if i could currently fucking handle being asked what my fucking strengths are or whatever #and i bet fucking period is not fucking helping cos hormone fluctuations do weird shit to emotions i fucking guess. whatever #i feel like my head is going to explode #'just let yourself cry let it out!' no. its fucking inconvenient and doesnt even release all the stupid fucking feelings it just leaves me #exhausted and wasting a bunch of fucking tissues. whatever #im a stupid lazy bitch whatever and im Not. but i am #what does it matter #i cant even deal with the fucking ants in my bedroom im just hiding from them in my brothers empty room #i washed all my bedding but havent remade the bed bc im like oh i should wait for the ants to be gone #cant do anything. cant do fucking anything at all ever #i should get out of the house and touch grass and that would be good for me but like. where #i shouldnt even leave the house bc im not insured and what if i get into a car crash? i hate everything #negative #whining

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poisonouspastels · 10 months

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#i figured this would be better suited for a separate post continuing from here #I've had people get angry at me for giving Steve a proper strongman build - thus making him fat and muscular in the process #ive gotten people mad at me for making him his direct colorpicked skin tone. got told I made him ''the wrong color'' for it #got called slurs #got told i need to just ''take a joke'' when im getting right fully angry at people telling me im wrong for making his AU design that way #been quite literally told our art looks ''ugly as hell'' when people ran out of bigoted arguments #its all just getting really hard and really tiring to keep doing what i love when everyone is vocal about hating it #and very few people are vocal about liking it #i do art for me dont get me wrong. and people have been supportive.#but i cant help but wonder if anyone would have even cared about the mega ref at all if it hadn't been surrounded by people full of hate #its just hard to stay motivated and put my all into something that's gotten so much backlash for stupid reasons you know #i've been putting so much love into my work surrounding this AU lately. my writing and my art. for over the past year now #i try not to ask anything in return other than for people to just pay attention to it at all. give it a reblog #but the one time we have something out of it become popular its because people are stupid and bigoted #i dont care about numbers this isnt about that. i just care about returning the passion i put into the world.#if anyone wants to send anything my way feel free. i could use it #sorry for venting

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bunnihearted · 8 months

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📓🕯️🐇🖤

#just a little diary dump:#i've contacted my school therapist again. asked for help regarding anxiety abt schoolwork since i dont get any other treatment #she said she can help me go thru if there are other options since neither psychiatric nor healthcare center will help me #+ she said that she and i can talk abt my anxiety regarding school etc. so in two weeks i'll see her #school starts next week. 4days a week rip... lol thats much for me. a bum. a cellar dweller. i've decided that im gnna go to all my classes #and always work while im there since its harder for me to do it at home. and i will also talk more w my teacher nd ask them for help #then im looking into an online therapy service. it miiight be possible for me to do that. but then i have to contact them and focus on only #1 or 2 issues. in my experience it just doesnt work to go to them and be like everythings bad :(( they wont help u then. i have to narrow it #down for them. nd i'll think i will talk 2 them abt my extreme feelings of loneliness and also my procrastination behavior #but yeah i have no idea if it's possibly bc idk if i can get financial aid for that service. im still in contact w the healthcare center so #i hope she will come to some sort of conclusion nd not just leave my high nd dry (she sent another referral to the persobality disorder -#clinic. even if they rejected the first one. so i'll see)#hmmm yeah. the situation w my sisters is sooooo rough. i hate it. they make me feel so so bad #and the housing situation is roughhhh. it's impossible to get an apartment lol.#so i need to find a way to shut it off and try to not let it bother me #just focus on finishing upper secondary school. nd i've been thinking abt taking out a loan for it and take german/french/spanish classes #instead of doing what im doing now when im actually poor and stressed bc they can choose to cut me off anytime #im meeting my highschool friend on tuesday. she asked if i wanted to hang out for a bit c:#im a bit anxious but like yeah.. it's nice to get out and talk to someone besides my family. which is just my mom lol #i messaged my other old highschool classmate on insta and said i saw her in my neighborhood #she replied but i had lowkeyyy hoped for more... like maybe being able to befriend her T-T but she didnt seem so interested in talking to me #which is ok ofc. it just made me a bit sad bc idk how to make friends and i thought she was rlly nice. but oh well #im rlly sad atm. maybe heartbreak prob. even more sad bc it was my stupid fault but yeah #im still grateful for all that it gave me. nd how i got to experience feelings of warmth nd love nd appreciation i didnt know i could feel #so even if im just contantly heavily sad bc i keep being like oh. i wanna ask this. say that. wonder what theyre up to. etc etc. i just have #to... be sad and just keep going forward #hope and try to not fuck everything else up. even if it feels like... what do all the other things matter when what i rlly rlly wanted got #ruined..... thats life tho. i know. im just so bad at handling life :((#i feel so broken and confused and i hate that i didnt get to be normal and healthy #im so illequipped at dealing w myself nd my emotions nd there seems to be no professional help for me

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nomairuins · 27 days

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anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day

#its just like atm everything that i need is like . not possible. which is oartially my brain being like We have to do this before we this #which sometimes isnt true but sometimes is #like i cant get medicated again or back seeing a psych or back on t until i get a job again #but i cant get a job again utnil i get my ged <- partially untrue but ged would make it a lot easier #but i cant get my ged until i have a job bc it costs money <- if i asked my parents they would probably help me If they had money 2 spare #since like. yk. they want ne to be able to work again so i have money again and ill be another source of income and they care abt me also .#affirmations . ppl donot just see me as a piggy bank they do see me as a person im not judt someone to squeeze money out of thats not how #ppl view me and its fine its fine its fine its fine . it feels so stupid being scared abt that i feel like a rich person whos like She only #likes me for my money 😭 like stfuuu annoying ass. i just ummmm. have a massive fear of debt and like. ppl demanding money from me #unexpectedly or expecting i am going to give them money. not in like a Ohhh fucking ppl want me to donate not it at all im happy to donate #but in like. god this is dumb. eveeytime i got birthday or christmas money as a kid i had to give it to my parents so they could buy food or #gas or whatever. and it never got paid bsck and it felt like shit. but i couldnt ever say no bc then itd be My fault we didnt have food that #week . yk. my first paycheck i had to give it all to my mom for groceries and we got in a fight in the store bc she was like Ok im gonna go #buy pop and my dumbass got upset abt it bc like. my mom told me itd be Necessities nd like. yk. wtvr. it was fucking stupid my entire family #r caffeine addicts so pop is a necessity i was just. rly upset and it felt like my parents saw my money as just. theirs but they had to ask #abt it so i wouldnt get pissy. yk. and they ask me for money a lot usually for food and i dont mind but it like. idk im rly paranoid abt #being a provider and ive got a Lot of guilt abt like. anytime we dont have enough food it feels like my fault bc it was my fault when i wasa #kid if i didnt give up my christmas money for pizza. or whatever. idk its so dramatic like i didnt need the money i was 8 it was selfish of #me to wanna buy fucking. toys or whatever that wasnt more important than My parents being able to get to work or my siblings being able to #fucking. literally eat. or paying bills. like its selfish that im like wahhh wahhh but i wanted to buy vibeo game wif my bday money i #shouldve judt been fucking grateful i was able to help my family. wtvr. I hate connor. wtvr #n then the shit with ugh last year like. yk. and stuff. and then the them stealing 1000 from me not getting into it b4 i get mad. idk.#and im just lazy now i need to get a job again but all the shit like. as i was saying earlier b4 i started whining. idk. i should be happy #that i get to help w bills and stuff that was my dream as a kid #like ever since i was 5 when i was fantasizing abt my future i was like Im gonna marry a prince and then ill be able to afford to pay all of #my families bills and my parents and siblings will be able to go to college and be happy and maybe never have to work bc ill be able to #handle it and ive always like. yk. when i was a dumbass kid i was like Ill go to college so i can get a good job and be useful. of course i #cant ever go to college bc im fucking. useless. and itd just be another burden on my family if i was in debt bc i couldnt help them as much #if i had debt and itd be selfish. and it doesnt matter bc im too stupid to go to college anyway. idk. i wish i could just fix everything #it just feels awful rn im literally just a drain and my family doesnt say it to me yk like. ik theyre happy imback i think they are

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kaeyapilled · 1 year

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what do you think about the kaeya = caribert theory? i saw some people use it as an 'explanation why his skin is dark' like. oh he used to be a Monster and the skin is a remnant of it :) and it pissed me off so bad. i need to know what other people think about it

its honestly not a theory im super fond of i think its a little stupid no offense. i dont think it makes a lot of sense? to go super in depth i'd have to take another look at the caribert quest (and maybe read up on the khaenri'ah lore we have so far again) but i kinda feel like it establishes pretty firmly that kaeya couldnt be caribert. descended from that branch of the family maybe (though im more fond of the theory that kaeya is descended from the branch of alberichs that were actually being regents, something that chlothar wasnt involved in because he distanced himself from the rest of the family to look after his son) (makes sense that kaeya would know more about the alberichs being the regents in khaenri'ah than he knows about an alberich being the founder of the abyss order) (theres a post about it i reblogged it some time ago and it hasn't left my mind since) but like.. him actively being caribert? sounds.. honestly really dumb to me.. don't ask me how kaeya isnt (or at least doesn't seem to be) affected by any curse, be it monsterification or immortality, but i just feel like that isnt the explanation. the actual explanation could be related to the events in caribert though.. cant wait for them to tell us what it actually is lol. on the off chance that this fucking theory is true then ill just bite my tongue i guess but i know im right. ok now moving on to the elephant in the room. what kind of take even is thatttttt "thats why his skin is dark"what is bro talking about🔥🔥‼️ if i read that with my own two eyes id block a person SO fast. why would you say that and treat it as serious evidence and backing for your theory. thats just. racism basically. what. anyways kaeya whos half from sumeru supremacy

#using hoyoverse logic (desert=dark skin rainforest=white skin) he'd be half a desert dweller half khaenri'ahn #(which is silly stupid logic btw. i hate it)#its SUCH a concept though #still doesnt answer how he isnt. yknow. a hilichurl. caribert style #but we've already established that i dont have answers for you as to how kaeyas existence works. sooo yea #not to get ahead of myself though but the kaeya skin COULD be evidence of him having roots in sumeru too #even what he tells us about going to sumeru as a child too if you're willing to make a stretch #because i know that was about him wanting to go to/get as close as possible to khaenri'ah #(ough btw. i feel ill whenever i think about it for too long)#but you COULD argue that the fact hoyoverse has even brought it up recently could be hinting at something #giggles and kicks my feet. we'll see;3 #that was one hell of a tangent. sorry im a bit passionate about sumeru kaeya im realizing now #thank you for the ask!!!#about the other one you sent don't worry you didn't come off as rude! it's literally ok #you def arent alone in thinking that is fucking insane bc it is. hope that helps #the moment the caribert quest dropped and people were like genuinely linking caribert to kaeya i was so confused #i didnt interpret it that way at all #saying that his dark skin is because he was a monster though. like ok. do you guys ever think before you speak like ever #askpilled #kaeyaposting #kaeya alberich

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minglana · 9 months

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agh fuck i need to apply to an internship😭

#i hateeee doing bureocratic shit id rather die tbh #im not gonna get it but if i did (which im not lol) i would be getting payed which isnt as bad as it could be #its only like one week tho but its still something #plus something i could theoretically add to my cv #WHICH BTW I NEED TO SEND IN FOR THAT #but like. the internship is agronomy-related and it tells you you need to put things related to that that youve done #and ive done. nothing lmao???? like my agronomy work is 'i have a vegetable garden i sometimes take care of'#and 'my grandfather was a farmer' like that is... nothing #also this job consists of being at an info stall for an agronomy conference thing. so you dont actually need /that/ much agronomy knowledge #i think??? idk😭my mom told me she would help me make my cv but shes sick and i dont wanna ask her. plus im also not feeling too well myself #but also its one of if not the biggest agronomy fairs in spain and ive never gone so it would be rly cool to go #bc a lot of farmer ppl and their families get to go bc they know someone who sells tickets to go. but me... well lmao if my dad [redacted]#then maybe. but not anymore so this is one of my only chances of going lol #but anyways like the only qualifications i can put on my cv is: studies agronomy. has worked at [redacted] student dorm. and that is #not qualification worthy. also the grades count and... i have shit graaaadeeessssss god i hate this #z xarre

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readymades2002 · 8 months

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oh. MY god i hate my job

#it was my penance for having a life and living a little last sunday and no call no showing but today fucking SUCKED #love my coworker but she does not work as fast as i do and opening on a sunday in this department that kills us #and by US i mean ME who has to spend seven hours of the day running things on my own #i dont go as fast as i could i know that. but i do feel like i do a good job #there is only so good of a job i can do when i am expected to pick 200 items alone in an hour #pisses me off too I AM SCHEDULED ALONE!!! EVERYONE KNOWS I AM WORKING ALONE OUR METRICS #SHOULD ACCOUNT FOR ME HAVING TO PICK THIS MUCH ALONE AND YET every single sunday #every sunday. we are expected to work like this. it makes me feel less than human #not just inhuman but just not worthy of it not worthy of being a person instead of a machine its so #*PUTS HEAD IN HANDS*#its okay now im doing fine now i got help (i hate asking for help but genuinely working with other people #even in hectic conditions really makes an absurd difference) and i did get to see My Boy. My Favorite Guy. My Silly Goose when he got off #but its still like phwewwwwww i am exhausted my whole body HURTS from running around the store all day with no break #wahhhhh etc etc

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justablah56 · 1 year

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why does executive dysfunction need to hit it's hardest on the dead day of the class I'm failing, huh?

#just blahs #maybe small vent in the tags btw #ive been staring at this mostly empty doc for the past hour and even longer before this and i want to cry #i took a 3 hour nap in the hopes that maybe then id be less tired and its done nothing #i took a shower after said nap so maybe id feel better and be able to focus better #i asked a friend to tell me to do it so maybe THAT would help #but literally nothing has worked and im going to fail this class and my parents are gonna be upset because its such an easy class #itd just be silly and careless to fail it #i must just not care enough #but they dont get that I literally cannot do these assignments #literally all term i have been trying to do these and every time my brain just completely stops functioning #and ive only been able to do like 3 assignments all term #i hate it #why can't i just be normal and be able to actually work on things and not feel like im skinning myself every time i sit down to do homework

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