#i hate being siiiiick T^T

[doodlboy]

I had to call off work again,my fever spiked & I feel like shit

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 51

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46 || CHAPTER 47 || CHAPTER 48 || CHAPTER 49 || CHAPTER 50

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- note for this chapter: i hope its not too bad. you can see her friendship with Louis but also how much she loves Niall yea?

one request for this chapter but the camping scene will continue in the next chapter (along with i believe 2 more requests) and there will be sex AND drama :)

Chapter 51 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I was slowly falling asleep after using half my tissue box when the doorbell rang. I jumped slightly and groaned before reluctantly getting up. My feet rubbed on the carpet as I walked nonchalantly to the door. I looked like a mess and it was probably because i actually was and when I swung the door open, I started yawning and my eyes filled with tears.

"Very fuckin' classy, Livi." Louis pointed out as I yawned again.

I raised my nose up as I blinked a few times and showing him my middle finger. He grabbed it quickly and I groaned again, pulling on my arm to get it back without much success.

"I'm siiiiick." I complained again. "Why aren't you nice with me?"

"Because i'm not a nice person, love." he  let out, raising his eyebrows as I turned around to go back to the couch.

"You like people to think that but it's a lie."

I let myself fall on the couch and Louis closed the door before joining me. He leaned against the side of the couch to face me and frowned, his elbows placed on the back of the couch. His eyes got smaller as he studied me and I brought my legs up, wrapping my arms around my knees as I felt a shiver cross my back.

"What does that even mean?"

The left corner of my lips raised up and I shrugged with a shoulder, feeling slightly dizzy probably because of the fever.

"That you play the bad boy card to scare people away but I can see right through you." I explained slowly, staring at him. "You are the nicest, kindest, sweetest and most sensitive person i've ever met. You think people don't see it... you don't want people to see it, but we all see it, Tommo, that's why everyone loves you."

He remained silent for a while, just looking at me, and I didn't drop my gaze, I wanted him to know it was true, that I meant it, and that I knew who he really was. He shook his head very slightly.

"Not everyone."

"She loves you too."

Louis trying to hide himself behind a bad boy facade became worse when he and Eleanor broke up. He was always out getting drunk and partying but for some weird reason, it seemed like I could feel his aura. I could sense him sadder than he ever was, even if he showed the world the total opposite. At the same time, I felt very selfish, knowing that I would never have gotten so close to Louis if he wasn't single, but if I wanted to be honest, i'd give my friendship with him up if it meant he and El never broke up. I wanted nothing more than him being happy.

Louis cleared his throat and moved closer, leaning his elbows on his knees and raising his eyebrows at me. I knew he was going to change the subject and it was okay with me. I didn't want to discuss anything he didn't feel comfortable sharing.

"So little Nialler just told me you were still sick."

I chuckled at the nickname and rolled my eyes.

"He's anything but little."

His lips curled into a smirk and it made me smile too. I pressed my lips together to stop myself from laughing and he raised his nose up.

"I know, i've seen."

We both burst into laughter and I grabbed an other tissue before blowing in it. Louis' face changed into a disgusted grimace as I sniffed.

"Good god, stay away from me."

I stuck my tongue out at him and he laughed again.

"You knew I was sick, don't act so surprised!" I argued as he laughed again. "Why are you here, Lou?"

His facial expression changed and his gaze left mine. His eyes found the tv and he stared at it for a few seconds before shrugging and I knew that a lie would come out of his mouth.

"I don't know man, I was at the pub and Niall said you were still sick and I thought hey, Liv's alone so why not pay her a little visit, you know?"

I kept quiet until he finally turned to me and when out eyes met, I sent him a small smile.

"That's sweet of you." I replied, tilting my head slightly. "Now what's the real reason?"

His eyes roamed on my face and I held my breath as his gaze traveled on me. I didn't know why but it made me feel self-conscious and I was well aware of how disgusting I was at that exact moment. I sucked my bottom lip in and waited for what seemed like an hour but I pushed the air out of my lungs when I got a notification on my phone. I grabbed it quickly and realized someone had tagged me on twitter. It took a few seconds for the application to open and when the picture appeared, my lips parted and my heart shattered. I stared at it for a while until I felt Louis' hand on my thigh. I looked up, blinking a few times until his face was somewhat clear again, and that's when I realized I was crying.

"Love, what's wrong?"

The warmth of Louis' hand on my thigh seemed to penetrate through my sweatpants and it burned my skin. I didn't know how to explain how betrayed I felt as I squeezed my phone in my hand so hard it started hurting. The screen was black again but I could still see the picture of Niall with a flirty smile, leaning close to a beautiful girl in a bar. It was stuck in my mind, engraved on my retina, and I felt like it would never come off. I was doomed to see this every single time I was going to close my eyes.

"Olivia, talk to me." Louis added a bit more firmly but still with a soft voice as he moved closer to me on the couch.

I shook my head a bit and felt his hand on mine as he grabbed my phone, tapping on the screen twice to see what exactly had gotten me so upset. I shut my eyes tight not to see the picture again but it was useless. Like I thought it would, it was dancing in front of my eyes and twisting my heart in my stomach.

"Shit." Louis whispered, putting my phone away and moving as close as he could. His hands found my cheeks and his warm palms made my eyes flutter for a few seconds. "I'm so sorry you saw that, darlin'"

Without thinking, I reached for the front of his shirt and gripped it tight in my fists. I could feel his breath hitting gently my chin and I breathed in deeply. He smelled of cold cigarette and mint and for some reason, it was comforting.

"Tell me he didn't cheat on me, Louis." I murmured so low that I barely heard myself. "Tell me it was just an innocent flirt. Tell me he loves me. Tell me he'll always love me."

"It was just an innocent flirt I promise. He loves you and always will."

His voice made a shiver run across my back. I never thought he'd say what I asked but the fact that he did meant more than I could explain. I felt his thumbs brush my cheeks slowly as he wiped my tears before his hands pressed more around my face.

"That's why you came here isn't it?" I ended up asking after thinking for a few minutes. "You saw it and you couldn't do anything so you came here."

He sighed but kept his hands on my cheeks and licked his lips. "I just didn't want to witness that. I warned him, I swear."

"I'm not gonna make you responsible for Niall's mistakes, Louis." I explained, swallowing hard and realizing there was a lump in my throat again. "I just don't know what to do."

With a sigh, Louis pulled me closer and held me close against him as I kept crying on his sweatshirt. We didn't say a word for a very long time until something escaped Louis' lips, something I never thought he'd ever say about his best friend.

"I want to hit him." he whispered angrily.

I looked up, peeling myself away from him with a frown. He turned his head my way and raised his eyebrows.

"Wha?" he asked just as low.

My lips curled slightly at the way he was looking at me. I loved how he didn't pronounce his t's and I somewhat found it endearing, but not as touching as the fact that he was talking about hitting his best friend just for me.

"He's like a brother to you."

Louis stared at me and his lips parted a bit. I knew he wanted to tell me something but he just shook his head and sighed, leaning back on the couch. I felt like what he was about to say was important but clearly, he wasn't ready to say it.

"That doesn't mean he can make my best friend cry."

My eyes got wide in surprise and my expression turned into a bigger smile. I moved closer to him and kissed his cheek, brushing my lips against him and he groaned, making me chuckle low.

"Yea, don't ever do that again." he let out with a grimace before I kissed his cheek again. "Gross."

We laughed a bit and my smile turned into a sad one. I had no idea what i'd do without Louis in my life. It felt like since Niall and I started dating, the friendship I had with him was different, and although it was sort of normal, I missed having a close friend like that. Louis was there, he took that spot and I let him.

"I should go. He'll be there any minute and you may want to have a discussion with him." he proposed as I nodded. "Are you gonna be alright?"

I nodded again and he got up, bending down to leave a kiss on the top of my head.

"If you need anything just text me and i'll come back yea?"

"Mmhm, thanks Louis."

He opened the door but turned back at me to send me a smile before to walk out and close the door behind himself. I held my breath to make sure tears wouldn't fall again and I just got up and turned all the lights off before getting under the covers. The house was quiet and dark but I could still hear and feel the beating of my heart against my rib cage, making me slightly nauseous. I was scared of what would happen when Niall would come back and at the same time, I couldn't wait until he was back. There was also this tiny fear inside me that told me that maybe he wouldn't even come back, that maybe he'd spend the night somewhere else... with someone else.

It was a relief but also even more stressful when I heard the door open after over an hour. As usual, it didn't take him long to join me in bed and when he pulled me, closer, I shut my eyes tighter.

“I love you, Olivia.” he whispered as I felt him nuzzle my neck. “I’m in love with you.”

I couldn't believe he had the guts to say that after spending the night flirting with an other girl but I swallowed my harsh words and licked my lips before turning around in his arms. He jumped a bit in surprise and chuckled low. I looked at his face, the love I felt for him hitting me hard just like every single time, but stopped myself from touching him.

"How was your night?" I asked a bit rudely before he shrugged.

"Not bad, was fun."

I held my breath for a while and swallowed hard again.

"Who was there?"

"Oh you know, Louis, Deo, Willie, Mully... the usual guys night."

I frowned and shook my head again. I didn't want to fight but we had to talk about it. I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep if I didn't know what exactly had happened. I needed to know even if I was pretty aware that it was about to hurt like hell but in the end, not knowing was just as bad... maybe even worse.

"No girls?"

He frowned and chuckled awkwardly. He didn't want to answer and I just decided to keep talking. I wanted him to admit it to me before I had to tell him that I knew. I wanted him to be honest with me the way he always used to be, or almost. I wanted him to confess to his mistakes so I knew he really did think they were mistakes.

"Pretty brunette, maybe?"

"Oh, yea, Heidi was there, but we barely talked."

My heart dropped in my chest and I blinked a few times again, seeing the picture of Niall with that girl behind my eyelids. It was clearly not Heidi.

"First of, I was not talking about Heidi." I pointed out, feeling suddenly pissed. "And second of, Heidi is not pretty."

We remained silent for a few seconds and he finally cleared his throat. His fingers played with the fabric of my shirt and I realized he knew exactly who I was talking about. I was not sure what stopped him from admitting it to me but the more he hesitated, the more hurt I was getting.

"Some girl randomly sat next to me and we talked. She was pretty and she flirted with me."

I felt my heart drop inside my chest and I swallowed as I teared up. I was glad the lights were off and that he couldn't see how hurt I was from his behavior. Even if he was flirting just for fun and had no intention to cheat, it was still painful.

"You flirted back." I whispered before licking my lips.

Despite the darkness in the room, I could see his traits softening as guilt appeared on his face.

"I flirted back." he admitted so low that I barely heard.

I swallowed again but couldn't stop the tears from falling on my cheeks. I ignored them and cleared my throat, hoping my voice wouldn't crack as I tried not to think of his fingers that had slipped on the skin of my waist.

"Why did you do that?" I breathed. "Am I not enough for you?"

His grip tightened on my waist and I held my breath as he tried pulling me closer. I didn't budge and he closed his eyes, swallowing too. Something was happening to us but I was not sure what. Maybe it was also my fault, maybe I was too intense, too insecure, too plain. Maybe dating me was not what he had imagined... maybe I was not how he expected me to be. No matter what mistake I made, though, nothing could make me think that what he did was justified.

"You are. This has nothing to do with you not being enough."

"Then why do you keep doing that, Niall?" I asked a bit louder. "Why do you need all that attention from other women? Why doesn't the fact that you keep hurting me stop you from doing that?"

"I don't know."

I heard him sniff and moved my head slightly closer but my heart jumped in my chest when I realized he was crying. He was clearly tired and a bit tipsy but I stared at him as he tried to keep his tears in. I saw his bottom lip shake and I closed my eyes with a frown as I tried to do the same.

"I don't know petal, I really don't know."

Without thinking, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around his neck. I felt him brush his nose on my skin and held him close as his arm slithered around my waist. He pulled me against him and my heart broke when I heard him sob, his mouth pressed on my neck. He held onto me like his life depended on it as my tears fell silently down my cheeks to his forehead. Watching him so sad and guilty about hurting me was some sort of relief even if it still hurt like hell. I didn't know how long we hugged each other tight but when he talked again, I started biting my bottom lip hard.

"I'm so sorry." he whispered as I felt his lips brush on my skin. "I don't know why I did that again, I don't know, at times I get so scared... so fucking scared, Liv."

"Please, don't ruin this. Niall i'm begging you, please don't ruin this. I love you so much, you're everything to me."

"I love you too." he murmured, his lips trailing on my jaw until my mouth. "I fucking love you."

His lips quickly parted mine as he turned us around to lay on top of me. I heard him groan in my mouth as I brought my knees up and my hands in his hair. I had no idea how this turned into a lustful moment but I wanted him so bad and I needed him to show me he wanted me too.

"I don't care about them." he whispered again in-between kisses. "You're my best friend, my lover, my girlfriend. It's you I care about."

I felt one of his hands get between us to pull my panties aside and I noticed he had pulled his boxers down already.

"Promise me you'll never do that again." I asked in a begging voice. "I need you to promise me."

I held my breath when the tip of his dick pressed between my legs and pushed my hips closer to feel it slip inside me. I bit his bottom lip but not hard enough to hurt him as I felt myself throb around him.

"I promise. I fucking promise, i'll never do that again. Never."

He bucked his hips my way and I let out a short but loud whimper when I felt him completely inside me. He didn't wait and started thrusting in and out of me as I gripped his hair tight, my fingers twisting some of his locks as my knees trapped him against me.  It felt amazing, my head was throbbing hard, and I knew we both wouldn't last.

"Petal, I love you." he whispered again before groaning. "Mm, fuck, I love you so much."

I started pulling on his hair and my whole body tensed when an orgasm reached me. I started shaking beneath him as he fucked me harder and I moved my hips against his in rhythm with his thrusts. I felt him quiver over me and the fact that he was cumming made me feel dizzy. His body finally relaxed and he buried his face in my neck again but after a few seconds, his mouth found mine. We were both panting, our parted lips brushing against the other's and It suddenly hit me. I believed him. I believed every single thing he said. I believed he loved me and I believed he was never going to do that again to me. I didn't know why he did that and I had a feeling that he did but it didn't matter, as long as he kept his promise.

"I swear, Olivia." he said, pulling away slightly to look in my eyes. "Was the last time."

I swallowed a lump in my throat, remembering the girl from the bar but my eyes never left his. I nodded and he sighed in relief before kissing me gently again.

"I love you too."

                                                ---

"I knew this camping idea was a bad one." I groaned when Niall handed me his scarf with a laugh. "Nothing funny! It's freakin' october, Niall! Who had this idea?"

"Your fuckin' Romeo that's who." Louis pointed out with a grimace as he looked through his bag. "It's probably the only camping site still open. They clearly only allow dumb fucks."

"That says a lot about you, Tommo." Niall joked with an amused smile.

"I was forced into this by your bloody girlfriend, who was forced into this by your stupid ass."

I laughed at his annoyance and took a step closer to him, putting my cold fingers on his arm.

"Like you're not happy you'll spend two days cuddling that cute girl you brought with you, what's her name again?"

I glanced at the girl I had seen at the bar who was a bit further, chatting and laughing with Harry's girlfriend while he was setting up the tent.

"Briana."

"Cute."

I sent him a smile and he rolled his eyes at me but I could see his lips slightly curled and it made me chuckle. Louis seemed happier and although I knew Eleanor was still on his mind at all times, I was glad he could enjoy the presence of an other girl in his life.

We set the three tents and Niall started a fire. I sat by it as Harry sat next to me while Louis was talking low with Briana and Niall was gone to get some food in our tent. I noticed that Harry kept glancing at me and I smiled a bit more before raising my eyebrows.

"What?" I finally asked as he smiled more.

"Nothing. You seem happy."

I shrugged and looked away without answering. After what had happened with Niall recently, I couldn't say everything was perfect, but I wanted this relationship to work so bad I was ready to make all the efforts needed to keep it and make it better.

"You seem quite happy yourself." I just pointed out without answering him. "What's your girlfriend's name again?"

"Carly."

I stared at her for a few seconds and licked my lips before nibbling on my bottom one.

"It's a good thing we broke up so you don't have to date a 5 like me, you can date models now."

He remained silent until I looked up at him and sent him a small smile.

"First, you're not a five." he explained, raising his eyebrows up in a way that told me I shouldn't argue with him. "And second, well that's not how love works, Liv, you know it."

A bunch of memories of us came up to my mind and I turned around to look at the fire again. Everything was so simple with Harry yet I couldn't stop thinking about Niall. Now that I was with Niall, nothing was easy but I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world. There's no one else I would want to be with. I looked up as Niall was coming back with a pack of cookies and felt the left corner of my lips curl into a sad smile.

"Sometimes, it feels like that's exactly how it works."

Niall sat next to me and instinctively, I moved closer to him. It was so cold outside, especially at night, and I was not sure I really wanted to be there but at the same time, I couldn't pretend it wasn't fun, just very fucking cold.

"Okay, let's play a game!" Briana proposed, making me lay my head back against Niall's shoulder.

"No no, no game, it always ends up into a real big mess."

I felt Niall's lips on my forehead and heard Louis laugh.

"Olivia has a bad history with games like that, darling, you don't want to go there."

I heard Harry chuckle next to me but just closed my eyes, enjoying the way Niall was holding me against him, his arms around me. I could feel his stubble scratching gently the side of my face and I turned to kiss his jaw, making someone around chuckle again.

"Okay then, tell us how you two met?"

I opened my eyes again to be sure they were talking to me and I smiled, turning to Niall who had the exact same amused expression as me.

"When I was four, Olivia moved in a few houses away and we met. She was six and she acted like she was so much better than me!" he related, still staring at me.

"I did not!"

"It was winter, she had the biggest french accent I ever heard, and she was annoying as hell so I threw her a snowball and it hit her right in the face."

"The shoulder! It hit my shoulder! You're not as good of a pitcher as you think you are!"

"Turns out our moms became close very fast and she was always home, so we sort of became friends like that." he added, ignoring my comments but still staring in my eyes. "And I feel lucky because she's the best friend anyone could ever have."

I felt my heart melt and sent him a fond smile.

"And Niall's the best person I ever met, he's got a heart of gold."

He smiled more and bent down to kiss my lips as I heard a few "aww's", some real and one slightly sarcastic, probably coming from Louis. Everyone started laughing and talking about how they met but all I could do was stare into Niall's eyes.

"You're my person, Niall." I whispered, licking my dry and cold lips. "You've always been and you always will be."