#i hate that app so so much every 6 months or so i reopen it and remember why i dont use it.

[ouroboobos]

i truly believe tiktok is haunted by the devil. occasionally ill go on there for a specific video and be like haha i forgot some of these people are funny!!! and then within literally 5 minutes of scrolling im like maybe i need plastic surgery

[anti-porn-unicorn]

I’m a girl (18 now) who got exposed/addicted to pornography at a really young age, and I wanted to share my specific story on this blog so that the platform can get it out there.

Under the cut is my full story, and it’s a little long winded, so if you don’t want to read the whole thing, I bolded in purple the general topic/idea of that section. Just look for whichever of those interests you and the section will be about that. The first and last paragraph are good for context and end goal, though.

Thank you.

I don't fully remember my first exposure to porn. I know I was in third grade (6-7 yrs old, I had skipped a grade). The reason I had wanted to share my story, in fact, is because I don't see many stories with circumstances similar to mine. Most I see have at least one of the following 'modifiers', for want of a better word. Most I see have at least one of the following 'modifiers', for want of a better word. Most I see have at least one of the following 'modifiers', for want of a better word. 1. The person is a victim of CSA/grooming. 2. The person was at a generally pubescent age (~11-14). And/or 3. The person experienced porn as a quick disturbance. To be clear, these stories are as valid and important as mine, and I simply think more perspectives make evidence of the effects of porn more airtight. I've never been the victim of SA, harassment, or grooming, ever in my life. My story shows the effects of exclusively porn.

The first memory I can recall about this was actually the first time I got caught. I was 6 yrs old, and very into video games,so on this day, I was playing a 3D porn game on my crappy hand-me-down laptop. I kind of knew that what I was doing wasn't acceptable, so I was sitting in my room in the corner as far from my door as possible. My mom walked in so I just slammed the laptop shut because I wasn't that good at hiding things. My mom obviously asked what I was doing, and I tried to keep her from looking, but it was right there when she reopened it. This is where the battle of it begins.

From ages 6-14 I don't have a good timeline of events but a few pop out that exemplify the severity of the issue. These are very probably out of order.

I got an iPod Touch for Christmas (~6-7), and every night I would watch porn on it until they caught on. I literally still remember some names of the sites, most that don't even exist anymore. My parents have always been amazingly caring. I couldn't ask for more. During the earlier ages (~6-8) I was put with a child therapist for fear of a deeper issue. My parents started either taking technology away in the night and/or setting restrictions on the internet. Unfortunately, between my slight tech-savvy, and my crazed addiction at this point, this wasn't a solution.

The addiction got DEEP. It warped my brain. When I had no technology, I used everything I could find.

Whenever I had access to less restricted internet, I used it. Once I asked my older cousin to use her iPod and watched it on there.(she noticed and told my mom. I remember my mom had asked me "Is there anything you need to tell me?", and I knew what she meant, but I just said "nope!" and walked away. At one point my dad's work provided him with a Blackberry, and I asked him could I play one of the built in little games. Once I had it, I watched porn. (when I gave it back to him he pressed the "back" button, and I was caught.)

I used Youtube. This was when YouTube was way less moderated (back when the app was a little old timey TV). I learned I could look up "striptease" and "nip-slip" and other stuff like that, finding more soft-core videos that could suffice when the internet in general was locked down.

I straight-up found out ways to disable the restrictions. Once I found out my mom's PIN for the controls, I went and disabled them, but changed the PIN so it would look like they were still on, and so that she couldn’t access and re-enable them. (I made it 7399. Spells "sexy". My mind was a mess.)

My parents bought a book called "The Classical Tradition". I'm just learning now as I'm looking it up that it was a Harvard Reference Library book (probably why it was so damn thick) about ancient Greek and Roman culture. I didn't know that. I had realized that sprinkled throughout the book there were pages that were more glossy than the rest, which you could see from the sides of the pages (the book was HUGE). These were the photo paper, which had the classical paintings and sculptures. And because these had nudity (Think "The Birth of Venus" type) I would regularly flip through this book when I needed a "fix". Absurd.

My parents got me an American Girl book that was made to ease worries about the developmental years. The pages on breast development / the anatomy of the vagina were what I looked at the most. When my parents had gotten me the child therapist, there was the logical fear that I might have been molested. The therapist gave me a book where there was a page with two cartoon mice, a boy and a girl. They were wearing swimwear/underwear and the point of that was "anywhere the clothing is covering is somewhere that adults can't touch you without telling.” They might as well have been stick figures, there was NO detail. But since they were in ‘underwear’ I'd always look at that page a lot. Anything barely vaguely sexual.

During this part of my life, I got no real pleasure out of this, I was just obsessed. For the first year I even watched it on mute out of fear of being caught. The lowest point during this period was when I very unfortunately filmed a video of me touching myself. I got nothing out of it and had no intent on ever sending or posting it. I was just emulating what I had been seeing. I deleted it the next day. I was 9 then.

From puberty until now (11-18) is when my sexuality was shaped by it. The addiction was far more controllable, I could spend a couple weeks to a couple months without it, but I'd always come back. Because it was now tied to my body. And while my need for it to be constant was gone, now I had to deal with the tolerance issue.

Over time what I watched became more and more depraved. I had the personal preference of hating anything amateur, because of the low quality, so I managed to avoid anything obviously non-consensual or involving visibly underaged girls, but that doesn't really mean much with the stuff the studios were putting out. During the middle points it got REALLY violent and disturbing. Bordering on torture (extreme kink) and even bodily deformation. As a young woman, I couldn't really tolerate any of the role based Kinks (father-daughter, babysitter, schoolgirl), so more extreme for me meant more extreme acts. Just absolute destruction of women's bodies for the purposes of sex. I moved away from that when tumblr banned porn and I started using reddit for it, and also during that time I was realizing how fucked up of an addiction that this was, even before I found feminism/anti-porn. I actively started trying to quit it, for good. But I always went back.

One big effect is heavy confusion with my sexual orientation. A lot of people face this, but the addition of porn for me really throws things off. Like: Am I bi, and a form of comphet/denial/inexperience keeps me from seeing women in a romantic way? Is it a mix of that and porn? (relatively likely) Or am I just straight, and the porn has completley shaped my mind (likely). 90% of the time I watched solo female content or lesbian content, and could only stand to watch certain specific forms if it included men at all. In real life I find a fair amount of men attractive but their bodies in a sexual sense are tolerable at best, but usually cringe inducing. l've never been attracted to a woman romantically, but exclusively women's bodies are sexual to me. It feels like everything in my brain that I would have been able to use in order to figure myself out has been permanently overwritten with incorrect information. Because of porn.

I've still got it bad. Every once in a while, I’ll read something vaguely sexual, or see a woman in a risque photo, and then the seed is planted. I'll always say "I'm not going to do it, I always feel disgusting after, it’s not even really enjoyable at this point, I can do better than this”. I always give in the end of the night. I'm 7 days off of it. I've been on this earth for 18 years. 12 of those years I've been cripplingly addicted to pornography. Two thirds of my life, and for as long as I can remember. I can never undo it. Just like an alcoholic will always be an alcoholic, only able to achieve remission, I will always be a porn addict. I have to be careful. But I have to hope for the future. And with finding the community that is speaking the truth about this, I'm heartened to do better. To no longer be held down by an addiction to consuming my own oppression.

[azuries]

why i abandoned twitter, ig and closed my main form of interaction (asks)

i dont really want to give a long explanation of why ive been so out of it lately, so ill do my best to keep it brief.

my second term in university, which was like..i guess 5-6 months ago, was the most stressed ive been in, ever.

i was struggling with deadlines, i was way behind my classmates, and i didnt feel like i was doing enough when it came to quality with my projects. i also felt like i was on the verge of failing. it felt worse knowing i had a scholarship to maintain and with my parents warning me constantly that it was possible to lose their job due to the pandemic, i basically felt pressured bc i couldnt afford to fail, despite my lack of motivation and mental capacity to exceed. i was also going through some familial issues, along with relationship issues with some people which i am guilty for not controlling well.

the stress basically piled up in one go and i felt trapped.

in my final day for the sem, i was miserable. i felt like i was in the lowest point of my life and i thought of things to do to myself i wouldnt dare imagine doing now. i felt empty and lonely, and i didnt want to talk to anyone. i didnt deserve to talk to anyone. i felt like i wasnt worth spending time with. i could barely look at myself in the mirror.

i took a break from twitter specifically, for a couple of days, probably weeks. i came back for a short while, but i refused to let myself interact with anyone bc of how ashamed i was. i even locked my account so people wouldnt find me anymore. i was in a really bad place and i never felt lonelier, and as a person who's known to be usually vocal with feelings, i repressed what i was thinking to everyone i knew, and that kind of terrified me. instead of fixing it and confronting the problem, ive been running away from it. the guilt just kept piling up for the past months, and i still feel disgusted with myself for ever thinking i was worth their time and lacking communication like a dumbass, knowing that i was a sorry excuse of a human being and how it would hurt even more if they found out how much of a failure i am.

i was gone from my old twitter for god knows how long now. i avoided talking to my friends because i was so afraid of confrontation, and most of them had connections to the person that was affecting me the most. if one dm'd me, id immediately uninstall the app out of fear. i never had the courage to see their message and panic blocked them. it even got so bad to the point a friend of mine who commissioned me had to follow me up on their order, and i wasnt able to deliver after so many months of waiting. i refunded their money and gave them extra as an apology. i havent checked my business email since it was linked to my twitter and it showed notifs of my friends.

this is the main reason i closed asks and messages. i didnt want to be found, and i was afraid id run into them. if im being honest, i dont think im gonna be fully back anytime soon. im still figuring out my feelings and its still up for debate if im ever planning to talk to them again. i owe them an apology for being gone for so long without at least an explanation, but i feel like its too late for me to say anything, considering how long its been. they probably hate me right now, and honestly they have every right to. i also dont want to blame that person, since they tried their best to make it up to me after what they did, but i simply could not have forgotten how much it hurt no matter how hard i tried. ig that also plays a major factor in why i couldnt talk to my friends since theyre connected to that person as well.

so all in all, yes ive been strayed away from it for a while. even though the pain and guilt is there, i dont think i wasted my time sulking. ive been focusing on my schoolwork a lot more, ive (mostly) repaired the relationship with my parents, and i finally found the courage to reopen commissions again as a way to swear to myself to never leave anyone hanging like that again. i feel a lot more lonely tbh, but at least much more productive. things that happened made me focus on the things i wouldnt have prioritized if i didnt spend most of my time online.

it doesnt mean i regret i met them though. not one bit. spending time with them made my life less of a living hell and i will forever be thankful for the laughs and love they gave me. i feel guilty that i wasnt able to give them the same amount.

if you guys ever read this, im so sorry im too much of a coward to confront you guys myself. i just wish the best for all of you and i hope youre all staying safe and taking care of yourselves. maybe ill come back, maybe i wont. but just know, i truly am sorry for leaving so suddenly, and in better circumstances we can hopefully be reacquainted when we're all in a better place mentally.

thank you for reading, and if you reached the end of this message, congratulations you saw my oversharing 👈👈

[roamingmom]

Day 20 of lockdown in southern España.

Happy to report – we are well and somewhat sane. Remarkably.

Like the rest of the world – we’re finding our new “normal”. The daily challenge is preventing every day from becoming Groundhog Day. 

The boys have adapted well – online school has been a huge help. I fear for next week as they will be off for Easter Break. The days are about to get much longer!

I have put many of my previous recommendations to work in trying to quell monotony. However,  I haven’t had much free time. Sounds crazy, right? But I’ve been busy making sure that my household ship doesn’t run ashore. My kitchen has never had such a workout. All five of us seem to be exceptionally hungry through quarantine and I worry that my dishwasher might actually blow up.

The kids are going through clothes at weird rate too. They enjoy not having to wear a uniform and seem to change their clothes between classes. I prefer to stay in my jammies until I have to walk the dog. At which point I put on workout attire as motivation to actually sweat at some point in the day  – it seems to work.

Tips to Stay Sane

In my previous posts: Surviving Quarantine, and Surviving Quarantine – Part 2, I gave some links for good distractions and tips on how to stay busy through quarantine.

This post expands on those and offers a few more.

Anxiety

Turn Off the News

Are you anxious? If so, turn off the damn news and limit your internet surfing to positive news. Honestly, it will cut your anxiety in half. If you are compelled to surf  — look for positive stories. Focus on who has recovered from Covid-19, and the medical heroes working around the clock that saved them.

Covid-19 – Good News

Set a Schedule

I’ve read a couple of articles written by ex-military. You know the guys that live in closed quarters without any privacy for months on end? Almost all of them talk about the importance of routine. Something as simple as making your bed can set a positive tone for the rest of your day.

Although I hate to say it– you should probably get dressed too.  I could live in my pyjamas all day, everyday. But I know it sets the tone for a super lazy day. Better to get dressed and have a bit of a plan.

Make Space/Give Space

Some of us are living in small quarters and aren’t getting breaks for personal space. Be mindful of this. It’s okay to ask for a timeout and don’t be offended if your spouse or child asks for one.

If you and your spouse are both working from home. Give yourselves as much distance as possible. Work on different floors if that is an option and only “meet for lunch or Happy Hour”.

Productivity

Don’t force this. If you are feeling super productive – fabulous. If not, don’t sweat it. Having your family under the same roof 24/7 is hard work in itself. Alternatively being alone all day might make you feel glum and not very motivated.

I think we all envisioned the great projects we would do under quarantine – I still have some ambition. But I really underestimated how much time my tribe would require. So, I’m relaxing those goals and focusing on keeping on top the day-to-day challenges as they crop up.

Exercise

This is an important one.

Even if you aren’t feeling terribly motivated. It’s important to stay healthy and that means you have to move. My boys (big one too) are doing a push up challenge. Which is funny. They set alarms & drop at random times and bang out 15-30 pushups….boys. This is a great distraction for them and ignites their competitive nature.

In case you’re interested:

I am not doing a push up challenge but I carve out time for Morning Meltdown 100. Today I switched it up and did an online yoga class with the lovely Mara.

A bit of inspiration for the aspiring yogini.

Keep up with your Peeps

Reach out to your tribe.

This is paramount especially to those that live alone. Historically, I’ve been terrible about calling my parents. Being on a 6 hour time difference doesn’t help either. But through quarantine I’ve upped my game. It’s been nice.

I am so thankful for FaceTime, the internet and cool Apps that are keeping us connected. The jokes fly around on Whatsapp at a dizzying rate and are usually worthy of the distraction. Be careful though – they can suck you down a rabbit hole. You don’t want to spend your whole day randomly texting.

Reading

Are you reading yet?

I just finished one of my bookclub books: The Binding. Took a bit to get into (bit long in dialogue) but well written. After 1/3 of the way  – the pages turn themselves. Our club will meet online to discuss. The upside – lots of drinks because nobody has to drive.

As some know – I have a bit of a soft spot for romance novels. Here’s 5 of my recent faves that shouldn’t disappoint. All cleverly written and some steamy AF.

Household Chores

Anybody else experiencing household chaos? I already mentioned that my kitchen was maxed out. So I took over complete control of the galley. Otherwise, I couldn’t keep track of what I’d stocked and what was flying out of the pantry. It’s a bit more work but a lot more manageable when trying to meal plan.

Organize the kitchen so everyday items are readily accessible. Since you are cooking more – spices should be handy.  Pull out the crockpot and leave it on the counter. That baby can do amazing things and saves loads of time.

Try doubling up recipes and/or making things that can be reused the next day. For example: extra bolognese sauce can easily be converted to a chili.

Put the kids to work. I might prepare the food but everyone is capable of pulling their weight by sharing in the clean up. It should not fall to one person –  act as a team.

Try these easy recipes:

Apples with Honey & Crushed Walnuts

Jambalaya

Missing Nature

If your lock down is strict like here in Spain – you might be missing the outdoors.

Follow these landscape photographers  for some great scenery.

This article shows footage of clearing canals in Venice.

Theatre

Theatres around the globe are offering free productions on line.

5 Theatres in London Streaming

This is a devastating time for the global economy as a whole.  Not spared is the Arts World. Consider purchasing a ticket to a streamed show.

Marin Theatre

Make Plans

I know it’s hard to make future plans without a crystal ball.  But this too shall pass and it’s good to have things to look forward to.

Plan for fall of 2020 and all of 2021.

The world will be forever changed by Covid-19 but it’s not the end of the travel. Borders will reopen. European Cities steeped in history will lure people once again. Dramatic coastlines will continue to enchant sea lovers. Sweeping fjords and majestic alps will still call our names.

Perhaps though – we’ll embrace our future experiences with more gratitude. Never again will we take for granted the embrace of a distant loved one. For now – you can plan for that next embrace.

  Funny

      Thank you for stopping by. I hope you’re surviving quarantine. Do you have any tips? Words of advice? I would love to hear from you.

Kate

x

                              Surviving Quarantine – Part 3 Day 20 of lockdown in southern España. Happy to report - we are well and somewhat sane.

[darrellkmartin]

Customer Service Tips FOR CUSTOMERS - How to Squeeze the Best Support out of Companies

There are soooo many "best practices" posts for support agents out there. But almost none for angry customers! How can you speed up case resolution? What do you do to expedite a response? How to fill in your requests efficiently? What are the hacks to poke an unresponsive agent?

After decades of being involved in the customer service industry and 10 years of selling a customer support app I've become a real jerk customer I might have one or two hints for customers this time, not for support agents.

OK, jokes aside, use these best practices when emailing support, and it will get your tickets answered much faster.

1. Don't put several unrelated questions in one request

When you put two unrelated questions in one ticket you slow things down. The ticket ends up being ping-pong'ed between different agents (sometimes departments), reply history becomes a mess, everyone (including yourself) has to filter out the history on which of the two problems a reply blongs to etc. File two separate tickets.

1a. Never reply to an old ticket with new questions

For similar reasons, do not reply to an existing case with a NEW problem. File a separate case. People tend to think "oh, this person seems helpful, I should grab her while she's at it and throw more issues that I'm having". But in reality - your ticket becomes lengthy and unmanageable. Your next question probably needs someone else's attention anyway. And this "someone else" has to look through a lengthy conversation, scrolling a wall of text that is 10-15 screens long. It's fine, it's their job after all, but this will slow things down.

Sure, many helpdesk apps (including ours) can "fork" a lengthy conversation into a separate ticket, but it's still more work and most people forget to do that anyway.

2. Provide more (structured!) info when filing a request

We are super lucky to have IT-people as our customers, they know exactly how to file a proper support case. Like, when filing a bug report - they usually include step-by-step instructions on how to replicate the bug.

Be like IT-people!

"I cannot log in" is not enough. "It doesn't work" is not enough. Define what "works" means to you. What is the expected outcome, and what is the actual outcome. If you get an error message - include the full message with your ticket. A screenshot would be great. If you're screenshotting a browser window - make sure to include the address bar. If you're getting an error message - provide the exact steps to reproduce that message.

3. Keep the subject descriptive

Subjects like "Help!" or "Urgent bug" are not helpful. On the contrary, subjects like "Issue with email server" or "Add feature XXX" are great. Your ticket will be moved between queues, transferred to other people, categorized and prioritized. But most importantly, it will be listed in a huge grid along with many other tickets, and if all of them just say "Help!" - it's hard for a support agent to tell which is which. So keep the subject line clear and descriptive.

4. Include the specs

What is your browser version? What is the OS? Is it mobile or desktop? If mobile - what is the device? If your question is about an app you installed - what is the app's version number?

If the question is about a recent order - provide the order number, items, your name, email and the shipping address.

Never include sensitive info like passwords or credit card details. Support rarely needs this data. In fact, if someone asks you for this information - it is almost certainly phishing.

5. Poke unresponsive support using other channels

Support reps can be unresponsive. We've all been there. I hate to say this (being on the "support" side of the fence) but sometimes it takes an angry review to get them to respond. Or a tweet. A review on Google maps. Or a Facebook post tagging the company (works great with airlines, at least here in the EU).

When talking to a SaaS company (like, uhm, ours) - remember that almost all of them are listed on websites like Capterra, GetApp, SoftwareAdvice and FinancesOnline (weird name for a software marketplace, I know). Threatening to leave a negative review on these websites can really speed things up ;)

If the problem is still unresolved - try the Quality Assurance department. Works best with "old-school" (AKA offline) companies, like banks and insurance corps. See, big companies have rules, if a QA complaint has been filed - it has to be dealt with. I do this regularly when my shitty local car dealership stops responding while still having my car in service. I don't call the service department, I call the QA directly. Now it's their job to poke the unresponsive auto mechanics.

6. Don't be afraid to set Priority to "High"

I'm probably going to regret this, but... Don't be afraid to set high priority for your tickets. If shit is urgent - it should be "Critical". There's no time to be nice. Adding an [URGENT] prefix to the subject line might also help. This has direct effect on the order in which tickets are looked at - in most helpdesk ticketing systems.

7. Follow the agent's instructions (even if they seem obvious)

Now I apologize if this one sounds arrogant. But I'll say it anyway... If a support rep asks you to do something - don't argue. Even if it seems weird or stupid. Just shut up and do it. Even if you think that's not what needs to be done. They've probably seen your issue a million times before. They know how to fix it. If it makes you feel better - do it for the sake of the future argument ("I told you, idiots, it won't work!")

8. Remember: you're talking to a team, not a person

Our stats shows that 72% cases are being handled by more than one person. And every time a ticket is forwarded from one support agent to another, the second agent has to look through all the notes and reply threads. Keep that in mind.

9. Opening a new ticket is almost always better

If a fixed issue comes back again after a while - many times people think it'd be better to look up the old ticket in their email archives, and reopen it. No. Open a new ticket. You might reference the old "resolved" ticket in your new message, but still open a new one.

First of all, "new" tickets get more attention in the queue. Agents jump on them, unlike with the "updated" ones that bring nothing but an "oh, that guy again". Second, it's actually easier to manage for the support team. Third, it's better for their stats and metrics (imagine a ticket that lasts several months saturates the statistics, which, again, demotivates the agent). Briefly re-describe the problem, reference the old ticket add file as a new request.

from Startup Tips By Darrel https://www.jitbit.com/news/2282-customer-service-tips-for-customers---how-to-squeeze-the-best-support-out-of-companies/

[mysteriouslydarktale-blog]

Downgrade

Downgrade

 On February 14th, 2017, my boyfriend posted a picture of me on social media after 6 months of consistently dating him. It was a striking picture with a bold magenta backsplash and heart emoticons embellished along the border. I was front and center, head tilted slightly to the side, hair long wearing my signature awkward half smile.

 We were out celebrating Valentine's day earlier that evening and I didn't notice that he posted it until after our date. Instead of immediately removing my dress when I reached home, I went online to surf through my social media accounts.

  I was ecstatic at the 149 likes that the post had already garnered. Our relationship, although extremely private, was officially made public for the first time. It gave me a little anxiety to think about and I had to throw my phone on the other side of my bed to keep from having a mini panic attack. After composing myself and giggling a little bit, I clenched the phone and started to read the comments. They were overwhelmingly positive…

 -"Wow, Bron…she's bad."

-"Ooooo…cuzzy got a new girlfriend. She's cute."

-"Congrats bro!

-"Aww, she's pretty!

-"My man!"

-"Yay, I love Victoria!"

 I was super excited to say the very least - I was having such an amazing day. The weather in South Philadelphia was relatively warm for February at a cool 59 degrees. My neighborhood, which was usually bustling with movement and loud noises, was very still and everyone seemed to be moving leisurely.

  It was as if their steps were slowed down a little bit and they actually took the time to smell all the corner store bought red roses. It was Valentine's day and I didn't feel miserable or bitter. It was Valentine's day and I felt absolutely loved, admired, cherished and relieved that I found someone great to share this day with.  

 I started to remove my dress. It was a little difficult to get out of because of the thin latex material but it was worth it. The dress was dress was black, short and pretty revealing. I don't usually show myself off but tonight I was feeling very bold. We ended the night politely and by politely I mean we made out. I never truly liked or appreciated kissing until I met Labron.

 His kisses are simultaneously tender and passionate. He was aggressive and gentle, he was dominant and submissive and his hands were always on the small of my back or the roots of my hair. He was ravenous and attentive and highly sensual but – we never had sex.

 Tonight, I wanted to have sex. I was definitely ready to get fully intimate with my boyfriend – this was the longest I've ever held out in every relationship that I've had. I was looking great and feeling even better. It was Valentine's day and roughly six months since we've been together. Oh yes, tonight was definitely the night!

 I wanted to change first and slip  into  something more appropriate for the occasion. Earlier that week, I had purchased a very racy, un-Victoria like lingerie set. It was a bright coral color with a patch of lacy material on the front part of the thong.  The store attendant raved about how much it would complement my caramel complexion. I was hesitant at first but was very fond of the color – so I went ahead with this chancy purchase!

 After getting everything on, I observed myself in the mirror. My makeup was already done from today's events and still looked impeccable. I grimaced a little as a I further scrutinized my frame -  I was on the smaller side. I always hated my figure. I had very subtle curves but I desired obvious, voluptuous curves. I didn't care for being so petite. My hands and forehead were particularly big and there was some discoloration across my body. I was far from perfect but I was also kind of cute. I smiled at myself and instead of the usual awkward half-smile, I grinned wholeheartedly – with anticipation, excitement and sensuality.

 "I'm about to get laid!" I said to myself and it felt better than ever before because I waited until I was ready.

I grabbed my phone and sent a text to my boyfriend. 'Come over baby, I'm ready for you."

 "Omw," He replied back in less than a minute. Goosebumps erupted all over my forearms, I was so excited.

 I sent him a red heart emoticon and opened up the social media app, "Showyaface," where the Valentine's day selfie was uploaded. I was really happy to see that the post gained 232 likes. I rolled my eyes momentarily because I knew that Labron was insanely popular on social media but still 232 likes in less than 2 hours! I started reviewing the comments.

 -"J <3 Happy Valentine's day!"

-"Yassss Vicki!"

-"#Goals"

- C'mon Bron, she's a downgrade, you know this– Ashley was way badder –"

-"Aww Labron…who's that---"

There were about 5 or 6 more comments but I couldn't continue on reading. Someone actually had the audacity to post something so utterly…uncalled for…. on my boyfriend's post! The post of me! I couldn't believe it. I've never come across something so bold. I drew the post closer to my face to make certain that I was reading it correctly. "…downgrade…Ashley was way badder."  I felt clenching in my throat. I wasn't understanding why I was reacting so poorly. Downgrade? Harsh. But maybe….

 At first I was shocked, then I was angry and then I felt consumed with sadness and…vulnerability and a little bit of inadequacy.

 I tapped twice on her avatar to view her profile. Her username was pretty_dimples_90 but I recognized her as Sandra from my 7th grade literacy class. I was a little taken aback to see her considering that she transferred to a new school in a different town after middle school. I was even more shocked to see that she was a friend of my boyfriend's. I scrolled down her profile and briskly came across a picture of her posing with another girl. The girl was tagged as AshesnAshley_. It became immediately apparent that this was the Ashley that Sandra was talking about. It was even clearer that the two were extremely close friends.

 I clicked to view Ashley's page.

 Wow.

 She was stunning.

 She appeared to be some kind of Asian. She was tall and curvaceous and had an unimpeachable sense of fashion. According to her bio, she worked as an Assistant Manager at Barney's downtown.  This girl was perfect and I suddenly felt overexposed and…just hideous. Apparently, she was his ex-girlfriend. I didn’t ever remember him mentioning her and I was confused as to why it took me this long to find her. I couldn't look away. She was a sight.

 Sandra was right…I am a downgrade.

 I walked over to my closet and pulled out my favorite plush robe. I needed to cover myself. I needed to succumb into a ball and roll up under my comforters. I needed to loosen the knot in my throat and let a few tears fall. Just a few. I suddenly felt unbelievable unattractive and embarrassed. I couldn't help but to focus on that one comment. She was Beyoncé and I was feeling like Michelle x3 with a bad weave. How could he have let her go for me? Obviously, Labron felt seriously sorry for me when he decided to give this relationship a chance.

 I went from feeling incredible to feeling repulsive in matter of seconds. I retreated back to my bed and began to lay down, hoping that some sleep would lessen the complete humiliation that I felt. I barely closed my eyes before Labron came strolling in. I sat up in bed and he immediately went over for a kiss.  I conspicuously turned away.

 "Hey babe," He said frowning slightly. He gently grasped my hands and pulled me up on my feet.  Pushing the material of the robe away with one hand, he kissed my collarbone instead. That little sneak. "Why you look so bothered?"

 I decided not to beat around the bush. "How come you didn't delete that comment from Sandra? She said I was a downgrade Bron…from Ashley or whoever the fuck. How do you even know Sandra?"

 He looked genuinely confused. "What are you talking about?" His hands were still on my shoulders and he was looking down at me carefully. I clumsily tried to reopen the post and shoved the phone into his hands. '

"There! She's bold for writing that...like seriously?"

 His brows furrowed and he didn't seem angry or surprised…but very curious. "I didn't see any of these notifications – I'm sorry---"

 "Who's Ashley?" I asked accusingly. The front of my robe untied and revealed the lingerie underneath. I barely realized it but didn't care because I was heartbroken. Labron didn't seem to notice either because his eyes were focused on mine. He was truly handsome and It took a significant amount of strength for me not to succumb into his embrace. I had to remain firm but I was slowly forgetting why I was angry in the first place.

 "Ashley?" He replied. I grew enraged when he said her name. "I don't know, she's someone I used to talk to a couple of years back. Nothing serious."

 "Are you sure she's not creeping back into your life?"

 "I'm sur—"

 "Why are you even with me anyways? She's fucking beautiful." I felt extremely weak for saying it. But the words were like vomit, they were impulsive and difficult to resist. "I mean…no…but did you feel sorry for me or something? Am I the sorry rebound?"

 "Vic, calm down. That's not at all what this is. That's wild – please stop." He paused for a second. "I dated her for a few months but it didn't work out – and her friends were crazy."

 "Well, why didn't it work out?" I said, a tiny bit softer this time.

 "That doesn't matter."

 "It does matter!" I pushed back in frustration. "Bron…wow, compared to her I'm like a fucking clown. I feel like a clown.  She's beautiful – she's fucking bad Bron! And this other girl really had the audacity to comment under your post like that? I can't believe that shit."

 "It doesn't matter. I love your personality."

 Now, when someone says they love your personality, it's usually code for 'I think you're ugly but your personality kind of makes up for it."

 "Wow, thank you Labron. Thank you," my voice was oozing with sarcasm. "You love my personality. I am definitely the class clown." I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, it was becoming exceedingly difficult to keep from crying.

 "No, seriously…I really love your personality." He started and pinched my arms softly when I tried open my mouth in interjection. "You're the coolest female I've ever dated and I mean that sincerely. You're intelligent, you're caring, you're awkward but in a cute way – you’re attentive, you ask questions, you're an amazing listener. You're so dope. I love everything about your personality."

 I still wasn't convinced. "Okay."

 "Okay," he started again. "Ashley was a cute girl. I'm not going to lie about that but she had the worst personality ever. She was hateful and she complained constantly – and she was just a little too vain and materialistic for me. She was cool in the looks department but her personality was trash," he looked down at my lips. "She wasn't you."

 Labron began to close the space between us. "We don't even have to have sex tonight. I can see you're a little dressed up and a little upset – that just doesn't mix."

 In intense situations like this, I would sweat profusely. I could feel little beads of sweat forming on my forehead. He smiled – wow. "And also, you're absolutely gorgeous. You don't ever have to be insecure in the looks department. You got it. You're bad. You – your lips, your cheeks, your frame, your ears, your eyes. You are everything. Don't get all flustered. I like you and no one else." He combed his fingers through my barely-tamed curls and lifted my chin.

 I couldn't look at him directly in his face. I was utterly humiliated and felt silly for overreacting. Labron was a very attractive man. He was tall, toned, haircut low, teeth white with a gorgeous smile and a chic way of dressing. I often wonder if people think about why he chose me – but I guess he was right. Nothing really mattered. All that mattered was us. Here. I had to compose myself. I didn't want to ruin this night. I quickly realized that it didn't matter why he chose me. I was just eternally grateful that he did.  Tonight, in this moment. I pushed back any insecurities and doubts. Usually, it feels terrifying to feel so vulnerable but tonight, it felt more natural.

 I looked back at him. "Thank you," I stood up on my toes and kissed him on the lips. I pulled off my robe, revealing the sexy, lacy material. "Let's go."

 And he began to kiss me - in the contradictory way that he always does. Fast and slow. Hard and soft... Vigorous and affectionate. It was a metaphor for how this night was going to end.

 And slowly, I began to feel like the opposite of a downgrade. I felt like a queen…and I was finally with my king.

[darrellkmartin]

Customer Service Tips FOR ANGRY CUSTOMERS - How to Squeeze the Best Support out of Companies

There are soooo many "best practices" posts for support agents out there. But almost none for angry customers! How can you speed up case resolution? What do you do to expedite a response? How to fill in your requests efficiently? What are the hacks to poke an unresponsive agent?

After decades of being involved in customer service industry and 10 years of selling a customer support app I've become a real support jerk we might have one or two hints for customers this time, not for support agents.

OK, jokes aside, use these best practices when emailing support, and it will get your tickets answered much faster.

1. Don't put several unrelated questions in one request

When you put two unrelated questions in one ticket you slow things down. The ticket ends up being ping-pong'ed between different agents (sometimes departments), reply history becomes a mess, everyone (including yourself) has to filter out the history on which of the two problems a reply blongs to etc. File two separate tickets.

1a. Never reply to an old ticket with new questions

For similar reasons, do not reply to an existing case with a NEW problem. File a separate case. People tend to think "oh, this person seems helpful, I should grab her while she's at it and throw more issues that I'm having". But in reality - your ticket becomes lengthy and unmanageable. Your next question probably needs someone else's attention anyway. And this "someone else" has to look through a lengthy conversation, scrolling a wall of text that is 10-15 screens long. It's fine, it's their job after all, but this will slow things down.

Sure, many helpdesk apps (including ours) can "fork" a lengthy conversation into a separate ticket, but it's still more work and most people forget to do that anyway.

2. Provide more (structured!) info when filing a request

We are super lucky to have IT-people as our customers, they know exactly how to file a proper support case. Like, when filing a bug report - they usually include step-by-step instructions on how to replicate the bug.

Be like IT-people!

"I cannot log in" is not enough. "It doesn't work" is not enough. Define what "works" means to you. What is the expected outcome, and what is the actual outcome. If you get an error message - include the full message with your ticket. A screenshot would be great. If you're screenshotting a browser window - make sure to include the address bar. If you're getting an error message - provide the exact steps to reproduce that message.

3. Keep the subject descriptive

Subjects like "Help!" or "Urgent bug" are not helpful. On the contrary, subjects like "Issue with email server" or "Add feature XXX" are great. Your ticket will be moved between queues, transferred to other people, categorized and prioritized. But most importantly, it will be listed in a huge grid along with many other tickets, and if all of them just say "Help!" - it's hard for a support agent to tell which is which. So keep the subject line clear and descriptive.

4. Include the specs

What is your browser version? What is the OS? Is it mobile or desktop? If mobile - what is the device? If your question is about an app you installed - what is the app's version number?

If the question is about a recent order - provide the order number, items, your name, email and the shipping address.

Never include sensitive info like passwords or credit card details. Support rarely needs this data. In fact, if someone asks you for this information - it is almost certainly phishing.

5. Poke unresponsive support using other channels

Support reps can be unresponsive. We've all been there. I hate to say this (being on the "support" side of the fence) but sometimes it takes an angry review to get them to respond. Or a tweet. A review on Google maps. Or a Facebook post tagging the company (works great with airlines, at least here in the EU).

When talking to a SaaS company (like, uhm, ours) - remember that almost all of them are listed on websites like Capterra, GetApp, SoftwareAdvice and FinancesOnline (weird name for a software marketplace, I know). Threatening to leave a negative review on these websites can really speed things up ;)

If the problem is still unresolved - try the Quality Assurance department. Works best with "old-school" (AKA offline) companies, like banks and insurance corps. See, big companies have rules, if a QA complaint has been filed - it has to be dealt with. I do this regularly when my shitty local car dealership stops responding while still having my car in service. I don't call the service department, I call the QA directly. Now it's their job to poke the unresponsive auto mechanics.

6. Don't be afraid to set Priority to "High"

I'm probably going to regret this, but... Don't be afraid to set high priority for your tickets. If shit is urgent - it should be "Critical". There's no time to be nice. Adding an [URGENT] prefix to the subject line might also help. This has direct effect on the order in which tickets are looked at - in most helpdesk ticketing systems.

7. Follow the agent's instructions (even if they seem obvious)

Now I apologize if this one sounds arrogant. But I'll say it anyway... If a support rep asks you to do something - don't argue. Even if it seems weird or stupid. Just shut up and do it. Even if you think that's not what needs to be done. They've probably seen your issue a million times before. They know how to fix it. If it makes you feel better - do it for the sake of the future argument ("I told you, idiots, it won't work!")

8. Remember: you're talking to a team, not a person

Our stats shows that 72% cases are being handled by more than one person. And every time a ticket is forwarded from one support agent to another, the second agent has to look through all the notes and reply threads. Keep that in mind.

9. Opening a new ticket is almost always better

If a fixed issue comes back again after a while - many times people think it'd be better to look up the old ticket in their email archives, and reopen it. No. Open a new ticket. You might reference the old "resolved" ticket in your new message, but still open a new one.

First of all, "new" tickets get more attention in the queue. Agents jump on them, unlike with the "updated" ones that bring nothing but an "oh, that guy again". Second, it's actually easier to manage for the support team. Third, it's better for their stats and metrics (imagine a ticket that lasts several months saturates the statistics, which, again, demotivates the agent). Briefly re-describe the problem, reference the old ticket add file as a new request.

from Startup Tips By Darrel https://www.jitbit.com/news/2282-customer-service-tips-for-angry-customers---how-to-squeeze-the-best-support-out-of-companies/