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#i hate when people make me feel stupid
glitterus · 1 year
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i feel like i am too simple. i feel like i see the world way too plainly. i don’t obsess over much of anything. or find deeper, more complicated meanings over tiny things people notice. like music. lots of people know everything about the artists they listen to and they will go on a deep dive ab their lives and all types of their music. i just kinda listen to whatever i like cuz it sounds good. wanna know how many mxmtoon songs are in my playlist? 3 tops. idek what mxmtoon’s actual name is. if you asked me who the actor is who played Lafayette in Hamilton is? i couldn’t tell you. bc i just enjoyed listening to and watching hamilton. that’s it. i feel bad for not knowing the names of a lot of important people, but it’s just kinda how i am. i like to focus on myself and the people actively in my life and my job and events happening around me. and when i take time to rest, i don’t wanna sit and do research on the life of someone i will probably never meet. i wanna observe their art. this post is a lot longer than i thought it would be lol
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sharkylad · 17 days
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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statementlou · 3 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/louisupdates/754934426217152513/goodbye-faith-in-the-future-world-tour-272024?source=share
did he or did he not lose fans then?
I will answer this because this anon actually brings a concrete question to the table rather than just "hurhur but you're a larrie??" (tell me you can't actually refute any of our points…). Anyway this post shows the decrease in Louis instagram followers between the screenshots taken directly after the release of Faith in the Future in Nov '22, when he changed his bio to promote that album and the tour tickets, and now, when he changed it again to mention the current release. But I'm putting that response under a cut because I'm tired of the actual POINT of all this nonsense getting lost in a sea of made up things people insist are important:
There is no rational argument you can make to say that Louis has less fans now than he did 2, 4, or 6 years ago. You don't need a spreadsheet of details you need to USE YOUR EYES! He has gone from filling theaters to filling arenas and stadiums. His second album made a higher chart position than his first album. His festival has doubled in size EVERY year of its existence. And for that matter: his insta post engagement numbers remain about the same (despite the fact that older posts should have way MORE likes due to having been there longer, even aside from follower counts.) SO WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT HIS INSTA FOLLOWER NUMBER???? Serious question: what does the word "fans" mean if these things aren't what matters? ALL of this quibbling about what he should do to make things better and people can't even see that THINGS AREN'T BAD.
Anyway to address the specific question- (con't......)
NO- HE DID NOT LOSE FANS. HE LOST SOME INSTA FOLLOWERS. THESE ARE NOT THE SAME THING. As I said above, literally what does it mean to lose fans if that number change coincides with him having higher sales, more audience members, and higher engagement than ever before? Whatever he lost ISN'T FANS. I wouldn't be surprised if a significant factor was something like a bot purge, but also yes: I'm sure a lot of casuals followed him around the time of his big album release and later unfollowed him. That's extremely normal because that's how casual engagement works, and why the definition of fan really matters. Louis and his team understand this and have referenced it repeatedly, talking about how lucky he is to have *us* specifically, to have the kind of dedicated fanbase he has, to have the KIND of fans he does who will allow him to do what HE wants. @dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram named the issue of depth vs breadth with regard to fans a long time ago, and pointed out why having DEPTH is so much more important. It's like this- artists who are on top 40 radio have more numbers on things like insta follows, and for a time on sales and tickets. But those aren't FANS- they're people with a casual interest. And as soon as that person isn't being forced in their ears 10x a day, those people lose interest and stop supporting them, stop buying stuff and unfollow, and those artists end up doing the 'opener on the jingle ball' circuit rather than their own tours. One Direction as a whole, and Louis maybe most of all or near to at this point, have something MUCH MORE VALUABLE than that- DEPTH FANS. Louis has fans who will support him even if he takes years to release music, or stops parading around with a pretend girlfriend to stay in the headlines at least once a month, or completely changes his image and genre, and that is UNHEARD OF. It's ASTONISHING and worth SO MUCH MORE. And they get that! THAT is why he always bragging about us, why industry people he works with are always so agog about us, why he will do anything for US- not for randos. He is also growing his breadth- and it's OBVIOUSLY WORKING whatever his follower counts are, but that is always going to be secondary to doing things for THE FANDOM because that is his sustainable business model. That is what keeps him onstage and reaching number one. And not coincidentally, the things they do are also working to grow that- much more valuable- commodity. So the fact that that's exactly what these chuckleheads complain about- that he does things that are just fandom facing or serving rather than everything being aimed at recruiting casual fans- does nothing but betray how completely they, unlike Louis and his team, misunderstand the actual drivers of his (actual, existing, happening) success. Luckily for Louis, he and his team rely on their own data harvesting (they do a LOT of it) and growth metrics (they're off the charts) rather than the smug assumptions of random (mostly quite new to this) fans and the few bitter people leading the complaining about everything Louis does.
#louis promo#all this nonsense about this tag or that tag or this or that number is so getting lost in the trees#when the forest is RIGHT HERE: WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS WORKING#so for now#I'm pretty done with this discussion unless someone actually engages meaningfully with the content of anything I'm saying#rather than just repeating the same things- but he needs to tag more! or the even more boring-#but you're a larry! if you send me a bitchy response that doesnt actually address any points I've made#I will assume it is because I'm right and you have no rebuttal other than to act like a preschooler because deep down you know it#honestly the discourse around this makes me feel a little sad and scared about the state of literacy and reading comprehension#and just general analytical thinking#but I hope its just that no one over 15 spends their time sending hate anons about fandom#if I'm wrong please come engage in actual conversation! but otherwise... let's just... not#blah blah blah#anyway there's a reason Louis is always so afraid no one will be there for him and that he started out solo era playing those radio fests..#because we are IMPROBABLE we are UNBELIEVABLE we are NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN EXPECT OR COUNT ON#and making nurturing and maintaining that his number one priority ALWAYS is extremely correct and smart#actually#I was originally going to be like here are when there were bot purges here are other artists that have seen numbers go down etc#but then I was like WAIT WHO CARES. You're letting these people dictate the conversation... but the premise is stupid#it DOESNT MATTER#depth v breadth
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writterings · 3 months
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the thing they don't tell you about most mlm romance books is that they fucking suck ass
#thinking about like. rw&rb. anything by that author that wrote boyfriend material. most anything on kdp. only one i fw was ari and dante but#even then the random transphobia at the end gave a real bad taste in my mouth#im just in a hater mood rn ignore this unless youre also a hater#but anyways that boyfriend material and the sequel husband material books fucking suck so bad#couldnt even finish the second one#felt like it was trying to make a comment on the queer community but in the most lame and het conformist way possible#literally having a boring lawyer character being like ' i dont feel represented by this#when hes talking about a rainbow decorated gay bar#like ok whatever man but why do we care? why is the author trying to moralize this? why does teh prose suck and why is so much casual#bigotry against welsh people in these books#like fr they call out british bigotry against the irish and then turn around#and every welsh character is bumbling idiot with no personality besides being an idiot and talking about being welsh#like. hello???#also i keep adding to these tags but anyways the author also tried to like#make the main character out to be the bad guy?? when his ex boyfriend exposed all his secrets to the press??#and the author like. portrayed the mc as the bad guy for being upset?? like that is what the second book is about???#its so stupid and victim blamely and utterly lame like these books are so uninspired and feel like the author was just. idk???#also dont get me started on how much i hated rw&rb and finished it#i think i have a post somwhere on this blog abtout it
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oceanwithouthermoon · 2 months
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ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw
#they are.#been thinking a lot about t*rusai and k*bosai and all three of them together#(really long rant in these tags that shouldve been a rant post but im not changing it soz i got carried away LMAO->)#see the thing is that k*bosai is my absolute favorite ship ever. but i get genuinely pissed when people smack talk t*rusai#idk like i get why people wouldnt ship kbs and i really dont care. and i also get that a lot of people have differing opinions and-#wont ship trsai. i honestly cant wrap my head around why (other than people who just hate teruhashi and are misogynistic) but im okay with-#agreeing to disagree and i dont care yk??#but people so often make these long discussion posts just yapping and yapping and making up shit about how trsa 'wouldnt work'#and its always just... actual complete bullshit. like unreadable word vomit.#sorry. but its true.#thats why it gets me so mad#i cant think of a single reason why you would feel the need to do that#why cant you be normal and just. not like a ship. just dont like it. hate it even. but dont make up shit just to shit on it#its so dumb i have to force myself to just scroll past them every time i encounter one#usually on tiktok or tumblr#if i read them i wont be able to stop myself from making the most concerned and upset noises ever cuz what is actually wrong with you#theyre always the biggest dumbest stretches ever and they ignore their actual development and pretend it didnt happen#it just makes me wonder why people are so okay with making fun of that ship but get mad if anyone even dislikes theirs#and then they complain about people 'shitting on their opinion'#LIKE ?? NOBODY CARES THAT U HATE THE SHIP. I CERTAINLY DONT GAF.#but ur in the main tags advertising ur hatred for it and sounding stupid as shit for no reason? UR SHITTING ON PEOPLES SHIP ON PURPOSE#AND THEN GETTING MAD AT ANYONE WHO EVEN SAYS 'i disagree actually' IM LAUGHING SO HARD STOP IM KILLING MYSELF#the one time i ever talked in that much detail about why i disliked a ship was bevause somebody specifically asked me#and yk what ?? i have literally gotten death threats over it. im not allowed to hate that ship but everyone else can do whatever i guess#okay sorry. rant over.#is that controversial i cant tell. i dont really care and im not tagging anyway#meows post
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valewritessss · 2 months
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Say what you want about thinking Percy only remembered Annabeth because Hera left her in his memory but for the love of everything just let people have their romantic little headcanon
#doesn’t have to be so literal#I’m a believer that it was because she’s his mortal anchor#people have a different theory#but there’s no right answer#some people act like others are stupid for thinking anything else#like no every option is equally possible#I’d just rather believe that they have this invisible string that can’t be cut and it’s romantic and that’s fine#that being said I think it’s the Achilles thing because 1)#if it was out of pure love it could’ve also been sally that he remembered unless it’s romantic love only#2) I don’t think Hera would choose to keep her there just because she doesn’t like her and would want to make her feel forgotten#because they hate each other or whatever#and 3) him remembering her because she’s his tie to mortality is equally logical and romantic so it’s a nice in between#but believe what you want#all three are equally possible#people who choose to believe it was out of love aren’t delusional and people who#and people who choose to believe it was heras choice aren’t boring#and I think people who believe it was the Achilles thing want a little bit of both#what irks me is when people think they’re superior for not thinking it was love#because I’ve seen lots of people say the people who think so are just being ridiculous and it makes me a little mad#bc even though I don’t think it either it’s not like it couldn’t be that#pjo#percabeth#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus#hoo#the son of neptune#mark of athena#pjo opinions and theories
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popstart · 22 days
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im deeply obsessed with the way that mk talks because every scene shes in shes so violently unfunny and its comedy gold to me because i cant ignore my interpretation that shes unfunny literally all the time on purpose because she knows its stupid and will make everyone groan. shes constantly speaking like shes in the mcu or something and she thinks its hilarious and i think its hilarious but literally everyone else hates her
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genderfluidgothwitch · 10 months
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For those who are unsure of whether or not they really have the "sensitivity to cold" symptom of fibromyalgia, because you think that it's just you not being able to handle colder temperatures like other people, that's one way of putting it. The other way is, when it's winter and the temperatures start dropping, do you feel your pain more intensely? Do you feel like you have more problems with your joints? Is your partner always commenting how cold your fingers and toes are, but it somehow gets more frequent in winter? Those are other ways to consider being sensitive to the cold.
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pensymbols · 8 months
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if u believe that jason grace is lame gtfo this is NOT safe space for you
#everytime someone claims hes a boring character and a blank canvas i losd up a gun and#like jason ISNT a boring character hes actually incredibly interesting#but rick riordian fucking hates his guts and refuses to give him anythin#like genuinely#like first of all jason getting his memory wiped but hes never able to regain them???#so despite people knowing WHO he was and him having the general feeling of knowing who he is he genuienly cannot remember shit#and those memory problems persist all the way up throughout toa#second of all his general past??#like the grace siblings had such good backstories in the sense they were intriguing and actually defined everything and every choice they#-make#like jason who was proclaimed as heras/junos since he was born stolen from thalia who was raising him and she cant wver find him again and#-so she assumes shes dead and being reluctant to take in annabeth whos supposed to be around her baby brothers age#that shits peak#and then theres jason who was raised by wolves and then eventually found his way to new rome where he was only ever seen as jupiters son or#junos champion and he was only ever going to be the praetor and no one there truly saw jason for who he is#like thats PEAK#AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE JASON VS PERCY THING BCS A) I THINK ITS DUMB AND B) ITS STUPID#also rick DOES hate jason grace bcz they killed his character long before toa when thwy tried to make jason more like zeus so the rivalry-#-could make more sense#pjo#percy jackson and the heroes of olympus#jason grace#percy jackon and the olympians#heros of olympus#trials of apollo
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binch-i-might-be · 28 days
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alright that's it I'm bringing up my stupid unspecified vagina trauma in my next therapy session
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slutdge · 1 month
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ill just be minding my business and then remember how fucked the experience i had with cps was and just how fucked cps is in general and actively harms the children its supposed to be there to help and get so mad i dig a hole into my skin with my nails so deep it starts drawing blood
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toastedclownery · 2 months
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Yeeeah. My ass is not built for artfight. Sorry
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I find myself far more fascinated with why Destiel doesn't work than why it does, and I mean this in a character/narrative way. I truly believe that Cas completely blew his chance in s6. Dean obviously forgives him after that but I think it fundamentally ruined any chances at them being equal partners and having an actual relationship. I think that Cas went from someone that Dean considered to be a friend he could count on to another person in his life that he feels he has to take care of and clean up after (re: John, occasionally Sam, etc). We see Dean get increasingly resentful of this until the s15 blow-up. Dean likes reliable people who can stand on their own (e.g. Cassie, Lisa, Robin, etc). Cas regularly disappears with no communication and, despite his best intentions, causes problems that Sam and Dean then have to solve. This behavior basically put Cas in the family-zone. Dean obviously cares about him and loves him but Cas was just never going to be an option.
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spookythesillyfella · 5 months
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OFFICER BLATHINE AND LOCAL . IRRELEVANT MAILMAN SPOTTED spending time together on a sunny spring day IN FRONT OF OPERA HOUSE !!!!!!!!
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piplupod · 3 months
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feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.
#part of me wonders if going to the centre is helping or hurting more#but i think it's definitely helping more. however it is definitely also hurting/making some things worse#i just wish I could be operating at the same level as most of society#and i feel so egotistical when I talk abt this#but like. why am i always so fucking aware of every single thing going on#and everyone else is just painfully oblivious#I AM USING HYPERBOLE. ITS NOT EVERYONE. i know im not the only person ever lmao#when i got my autism diagnosis i thought oh good okay so THIS is why im such a freak#and now I've met so many other autistic ppl irl and um. no. no thats definitely not it still.#yes its probably part of it but im also just. so fucking traumatized i guess idk. i hate this so much#i just want to be the same and fit in and not be analyzing everything and be able to actually speak my mind#and not be so kind and polite and respectful all the time and be able to say shitty stupid things without thinking anything of it#im so tired of being the only one who seems to care so much about everyone else's comfort and feelings#but also at the same time i would hate if i acted like everyone else bc i know how shitty it makes people feel#and people are always so happy to see me because I am useful and make them feel good and comfortable and heard#and that matters. that means a lot to people i think. but also I am not a person. i am a tool.#and I'd really like to be a person#i somehow feel like im operating at a higher level/awareness than almost everyone irl and also way below everyone at the same time#like im so hyperaware of everyone else more than most ppl but im also so socially inept sometimes. and just... idk how to be a person.#i dont know i just want to not be like this. its so lonely and tiring and i want to matter to people#i want them to like me for more than just what I'm able to do for them. I want to be liked for Me i guess. but Me isnt likeable maybe#Me is uncomfortable for people. Me is a trembling cornered prey animal with a longing to tell stories but is too afraid to do anything#and so Me just exists in a hollow shell made out of people-pleasing and fawning and mirroring everyone around them#and then i get lonelier and more isolated and nothing really changes. but every time i try to crack open the shell a little it goes badly#like i genuinely dont think its my paranoia. i think it is not Safe for Me to exist properly.#i am too sensitive probably! but it does very much feel like a raw wound that peope jab aggressively at when i open up a little!#boy howdy i sound like such a wuss. i mean i probably am one fjfkdl#i just feel like I keep trying to fix things and improve and try new things and nothing ever really works well#my counsellors have always commented on how impressed they are at my willingness to try things#and its like ?? yeah ! ofc i am going to try things! maybe that will be smth that finally helps!
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jrueships · 5 months
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ill be having such a good time then Boom, someone says something
#i love to drive... when i know where im going#im a great driver#but my navigation skills are so shit. theyre so shit#yall i cannot. for the life of me. read fuckin google maps well while driving#i cant judge the distance of a turn.. i think a right turn is a left bcs the screen didnt rotate yet and it's#and i cant remember road names bcs im a landmark man#it's so embarrassing. and all my good driving turns to shy shit bcs it's like. idk. i hate being weird. i hate feeling stupid#i hate being stupid#i hate being told im not stupid until i do smthing stupid again and they get annoyed and u can tell they took it back#bcs everyones right. everyones so right so im not mad at them. im not#im just mad at myself. like it's so fucked. i hate being fucked (literally) (asexual)#i hate getting marked for being wrong in math bcs i saw the + as a ÷ and i did the division right but no one cares abt that bcs it's weird#it's fucked it's so fucked im so fucked#it's so embarrassing. i hate being embarrassing#it's not quirky or cute or anything. setting the wrong alarm bcs i saw the 8 as a 6 is not funny. it's not when u keep doing it#and u keep doublechecking urself and get it wrong anyways#i hate being stupid. i hate being stupid. i hate being stupid. i hate being stupid#u think i dont want to just be normal and fun and carefree with things people find easy? you think i dont want an easy life?#u think i like making people's lives hard? you think i Like being a burden???#i dont wanna be here .
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