heroesspirit · 11 months ago
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FANFICTION MASTER POST
You can find me on AO3 at meatjuice. My fics are all available under the readmore cut.
LONG FICS
Brothers in Blood and Spirit: (5/?) POVs: Eras, Legend, Wind.
Summary: Every hero has their weakness. For the captain, it’s his brothers. He will do anything to protect his brothers of the present, just as he did with his brother in the past. (Note: a good look into Eras’ past, this is an au where everything is the same except he has a little brother.)
The Nebula Brigade: (9/?) POVs: Twilight, Eras, Time.
Summary: The Hyrule Empire has reigned supreme for decades, gradually taking over countless planets in the solar system. The only thing standing between the Empire and complete control over the galaxy is a band of rebels. One exiled rebel encounters an Empire soldier and decides to spare his life, and he soon discovers the soldier may play a key role in bringing the Empire down. Despite all odds against them, they work together to bring peace back to the galaxy. (Note: Space au!)
Raise the Red Sails: (1/?) POVs: Spirit, Ravio, Twilight, Eras.
Summary: Hyrule has sent the Royal Navy after mysterious artifacts to uncover the location of the Triforce. Only with this power will they be able to put an end to the evils plaguing their land. The only thing that stands in their way is a band of pirates who seek the same goal of obtaining the Triforce for themselves. Only one group will emerge victorious. Or so they assume. (Note: I watched Our Flag Means Death and naturally had to make a pirate au.)
ONE SHOTS
Snow Day Off: (1143 words) POV: Four
Summary: Link experiences his first time making a snowman. (Note: for the HS Server’s December 2023 prompt ‘Snowed in’.
Fall From Grace: (1535 words) POV: Eras
Summary: Long hair is the sign of a fierce and skilled knight. To have one’s hair cut off by an opponent is the ultimate sign of defeat. To have one cut off their own hair is the ultimate sign of shame. (Notes: canon scene five years prior to the start of HS)
Lost Loftwing: (2207 words) POV: Sky
“Stand down,” Sky ordered with what little authority he could muster. He wasn’t used to that tone, he wasn’t fond of ordering people around. He was even less fond of people trying to kidnap and hurt his loftwing.
ONE SHOTS, BUT YEEHAW
It’s a Date: (919 words) POV: Eras
Summary: A sparring session turns into an admitting your feelings session.
A Horse by Any Other Name: (1531 words) POV: Eras
Summary: Sometimes the bond between a man and his borrowed horse can be so personal.
Dreams and Fireside Chats: (1788 words) POV: Eras
Summary: Link has an unpleasant dream and finds comfort in the kindness of those he's close to.
Bathhouse Boy Best Friends: (1629 words) POV: Twilight
Summary: Two bros, chillin' in a hot tub, five feet apart cause they might be gay??
The Wingman: (2555 words) POV: Sky
Summary: Sky copes with being touch starved naturally by trying to play matchmaker for his companions.
MISCELLANEOUS
At Ease, Captain: (7058 words) POV: HW Link
Summary: Link projects his problems onto his companions, specifically their Champion, but he's definitely okay and fine and not sleep-deprived. (Note: I wrote this at the same time I was creating HS! It’s also around the time when I first read LU. So this was written with neither in mind, but you can really see the prototypes of my versions peeking through in this one.)
The Captain’s Log: (2161 words) POV: LU Warriors
Summary: He dipped his pen in the inkwell and brought it to the paper, he frowned when he pressed too hard and made a large spot on the page. Link would never consider himself an artist, but he prided himself in his penmanship. During the war there was no time for fancy scripts and long words, his fellow captains were lucky if they got more than three lines of cucco scratch. Calligraphy was something he picked up later, he loved the way words flowed on paper. But now, his hands betrayed him. OR: One of those Warriors and Legend journal fics you always hear about but not really.
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cheolhub · 2 years ago
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YOU GET ME SO HIGH — VERNON CHWE ࿐
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summary. smoking with your best friend (who you totally don’t have a crush on) is super fun till all you can think about is him… well, doing him, to be more specific.
wc. 6.2k
warnings. recreational marijuana use!!, dubcon (kinda? sex while high), bf2l + idiots to lovers, kinda fluffy!! weed is referred to as ‘green crack’ several times lol, fingering, hehe big d!ck!vernon, mentions of masturbation, unprotected sex, pet names (baby), brief tit worship, naked confessions, vernon is kinda shy, jealous, nervous & rlly likes boobs and reader is v needy lol <3— MINORS DNI 18+
note. havent seen anyone write for vernon in like 3 years so here’s my lowkey cringey, poorly-written, self-indulgent fic that i was supposed to post for his birthday 2 months ago ++ guest appearance from weed dealer!cheol bc yeah :3
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if you had told vernon that his best friend was someone he’d met in a biology lab–one that he was accidentally put into his freshmen year– he’d say you were a liar. nonetheless, it’s true– you’re his best friend and you have been for years now. in your fourth and final year of university, you still sit on the balcony of your apartment with him like you have every other day for the past three.
“happy birthday, vernon,” you smile cheekily, passing him a snack-size ziplock baggie. “i got you an eighth since you’re always begging to smoke my shit.” 
he laughs and gives you a lazy smile, “Y/N, my birthday was over two months ago… plus, you know you didn’t have to get me anything.”
you scoff, rolling your eyes, “hansol vernon chwe, you are my best friend, of course i had to. and… i was waiting for a few of my checks to hit, that's why it’s a belated birthday gift.” you take his hand, placing the bag into it. “now take it and don’t smoke it all in a day, got it?”
he nods, eyes softening, “thank you,” he says. “must’ve cost your broke ass a fortune, though, so next time– don’t get me anything.”
you giggle at the joke that’s actually, not really a joke. “i really don’t think you have any room to speak– who here has a real job?” 
he rolls his eyes, “my job is real, thank you very much.”
you chuckle, shaking your head. “reselling limited edition vinyls for seven times what you bought them for isn’t a job, vernon, that’s called being a dick.” you tell him. “and actually, the prices weren’t too bad. cheol gave me a discount.”
vernon almost visibly clenches at the name of your awfully-sweet dealer. though he can attest, cheol is only ever sweet to you. every time he’s bought from your favorite supplier, he’s been a total asshole and upcharges him for no reason which is one of the basis’ why he’s always smoking your stuff. you always tell him it’s karma for selling records at such a high price, but vernon begs to differ. he knows that cheol just doesn’t like him and he has a gut feeling that it’s because of you. 
“oh yeah? how’d you get him to do that?” he asks, but he’s pretty sure he knows the answer. the answer being cheol has a thing for you.
you bite your lip, looking over your apartment balcony. “mmm, he showed up here while i was… you know…playing around…and…”
vernon knows you well enough to finish your sentence for you. “masturbating?”
“vernon, be modest!” you whine, hiding your face in your hands. “you knew, you didn’t have to say it!” 
he chuckles, “it’s normal, Y/N, we all do it. no need to be embarrassed over it.”
it’s true. everyone does it. but not everyone masturbates thinking about their best friend. he thinks that might just be him. 
“yeah, but you’ve probably never done it thinking you’d be finished before your hot drug dealer shows up at your apartment.” you blush. vernon doesn’t say anything for a while and you’re afraid you’ve made him feel uncomfortable (even though he claims you never have). you bite the insides of your cheeks before uttering, “can you pack a joint or something?”
truthfully, vernon doesn’t mean to be so quiet. he’s just trying to imagine you in that state without letting his dick get hard, though it’s proving to be extremely difficult. you probably looked so pretty in cute short shorts and a shirt that you could see your nipples through. or worse, you were wearing a tank top that was snuggly wrapped around your torso where you could see everything. he wants to be a gentleman, wants to be respectful… but, god, your tits are out of this world.
he hums trying to rid the dirty images in his head, taking your box of goods to grab the grinder and paper cones. “finish your story.” he urges.
you look at him, searching for signs of discomfort, but there is only that stoic look he always wore. with a sigh, you continue, “anyway, i was… you know… and he texted me and said he was here– i was a mess–”
he can imagine.
“–and i think he could tell ‘cuz when i got down to his car i was so disheveled and was about to start crying. i literally looked like i got edged or something,” you mumble, twiddling your thumbs out of embarrassment.
you’re painting a picture for vernon and he has to bite back a groan. 
it’s not the first time you and vernon had talked about sexual things. there had been several conversations on the topic. he knew almost everything about you except for… you know… what you tasted like and how tight you are– his vivid imagination couldn’t give him all of those pleasures. 
“and, vernon, i kid you not, he literally knew. he was all smug and shit,” you groan. “it was kinda humiliating.”
you remember how much wetter you’d gotten the moment you slipped into his car. he was calling you all types of things– all types of pretty pet names–and you’re genuinely surprised it didn’t escalate further because the sexual tension was heavy.
“and then i told him i wanted a quarter– an eighth for me and an eighth for you– and he told me he’d give me a special strain of sativa for half the normal price.”
vernon’s eyes widened, “half the price?”
“that’s what i said!” you exclaim. “pretty sure it’s because he could see my tits… i wasn’t wearing the best outfit …”
of-fucking-course he could see your tits. vernon holds back a groan, seeing as his suspicions about you in a tank top that night was right. instead, he chuckles airly. “now who needs to be modest.”
“stooop, just grind the weed.” you cry. 
vernon does as you ask, muttering, “maybe he laced it.”
“cheol wouldn’t, i’m pretty sure he just likes me.” you humbly reply, shooting daggers at your best friend for even suggesting that. “plus the strain was called ‘green crack’ or something like that… it was from the ‘st. patty’s day special.’”
“saint patrick’s day was like 4 weeks ago.”
“well then he was either trying to get rid of it or my tits must’ve made him feel generous.” you joke, giggling a bit at vernon’s poker face.
vernon is hiding it really well, but he’s filled with so much annoyance. your stupid dealer doesn’t deserve to see you like that. hell, vernon doesn’t even think he deserves to see you like that, but, fuck, he wants to. so badly. seeing you all hot and bothered with your tits on full display would be a dream come true. 
“would you fuck him for free weed?” he asks all of a sudden, making you blush furiously. he knows now that he doesn’t want to hear your answer when your mouth parts in shock. 
“vernon! what kinda girl do you take me for?” you put your hand over your chest as if it’s something you wouldn’t do. you break your facade when he gives you a knowing look, mouth cracking into a grin. “probably, i dunno. he’s kinda scary but i feel like he knows how to please a woman– i can’t say the same about a lot of other men.”
he internally rolls his eyes. cheol doesn’t know you the way he does. vernon could please you, he knows he can. 
he switches the subject back to the packed joint in his hands to keep from spiraling. “wanna spark it?”
you shake your head with a hum, “mmh-mmh, belated birthday boy gets the first few hits.”
he smiles, pulling the joint to his lips taking the lighter, igniting it with the pressure of his thumb. he lets the flame burn carefully through the paper, inhaling a large rush of smoke. he holds it in for a bit before he blows it out– away from your face– creating a white, potent-smelling cloud.
you reminisce while watching him. your balcony is like home to you and vernon. contrary to your neighbor's beliefs, smoking isn’t the only thing you do. you laugh and cry and talk for hours about people you hate and people you love. sometimes, you’ll do homework out here and when vernon is bored at his own place, he’ll come over to yours to keep you company. he provides a comforting presence and never-ending encouragement while reminding you to take breaks.
 it’s where you told him about your puppy crush on soonyoung from your statistics class and it’s where he told you about how he awkwardly lost his virginity to a girl during orientation week. it’s where the two of you are always together– it’s kinda like your place.
and watching him after all these years, you’ve never really realized how attractive your best friend was. well, that’s a lie. you’ve always thought vernon was likely one of the prettiest men to ever walk the earth, but if you truly admitted that, then you’d have to admit to the other things. things like how kind and considerate he is and how he’s boyfriend potential and how you totally don’t have any type of feelings for him whatsoever. it’s not a crush, you constantly have to remind yourself, it’s admiration for your best friend. there’s a difference.
but those admirable traits are things you can’t think about because he doesn’t see you that way. there’s no reason why you should see him that way if it’s not reciprocated. it only makes sense and prevents brutal rejection from the most perfect man on earth, aka your best friend. 
but your not-crush manifests itself sometimes. like when he smiles at you or when he randomly places his headphones over your head and tells you to “listen to this song” or when he spends the night in your bed because he’s too lazy to drive home. it gets harder and harder to hide every day. 
he passes the joint to you with an even lazier grin and you take it, parroting his actions. you let the smoke fill your lungs, hold it there, and exhale, shutting your eyes just as he did. 
and vernon thinks you look like a goddess. how could you make a simple action seem so attractive?
you take your hits, passing the joint back and forth till it suddenly hits you. all at once, you feel your body start to ache, your tummy flipping in anticipation, your mind fogging over leaving your entirety to buzz. you shift a bit and you feel your cunt dampen causing you to let out a sharp exhale.
“you good?” vernon asks, his deep voice filling your ears.
then you look at him. like… actually look at him. his face is a bit tired, his eyes red from the weed coursing his system, and his hair a bit disheveled from running his hand through it too much (this is why he wears the beanies)-- nevertheless, he looks fucking fantastic. 
your usual munchies are replaced with strong, burning sexual desire. just at the sight of your best friend, your pussy is soaking through your panties and your shorts.
“‘sol,” you murmur out the nickname. “do you feel… different?” you ask, eyes fluttering and lips parting.
you’re truly unaware of how seductive you look and how it’s slowly taking years off his life. vernon has been rock hard in his sweats for a solid 15 minutes now. and, yes, he feels extremely different. turned on to say the very least. 
“mmm, a little,” more like a lot. “maybe it’s the strain you got,” he mumbles, implying what he had said earlier was true.
it makes sense that cheol provided you with a strain that feels like you’re smoking a fucking aphrodisiac, but you’re starting to wish you were alone so you could at least do something about it. 
for a split second, you think you might be fine, then you’re hit with yet another wave of arousal, your core pulsing at the ideas that are incessantly popping into your head. ideas of him taking you right now, sitting on his face, sinking onto his cock– it’s too much. 
“vernon,” you say breathily and he freezes, pulling the joint away from his lips. “i… i think…”
you try to think about how to kick him out kindly so you can have some much-needed alone time, but you can’t– you can only think about having alone time with him. alone time that leads to shoving his hand down your pants. 
stop, you tell your hazy brain.
“Y/N, what’s wrong?” he asks, scooting closer to you. 
his scent floods your senses– a mix of weed and his cologne causing sensory overload in your poor brain and aching core. 
he’s internally worried that you’re greening out. though it doesn’t happen as much as it did when you first started smoking, there are rare occasions when you take more than you can handle. 
“c-can… you do me a favor?”
“‘course, anything.”
“vernon… it… i…need your help.” you whimper, leaning into him. “please…feels like ‘m gonna die.”
you’re being dramatic. 
he furrows his brows in confusion, panic becoming apparent on his features. “what hurts, Y/N? how can i help you?”
you take his hand in yours, slowly guiding him to the ache in your body. you gasp when his warm fingers come in contact with your clothed cunt. “here… it hurts here.” you exhale.
vernon has definitely lost it. his hand is between your thighs and your smaller one has moved to tightly wrap around his wrist. you’re a mess– he can feel it. he can feel the warmth radiating from your core, he can feel how you’ve soaked through your panties and how it’s seeped through the thin pair of shorts. he’s holding his breath and he fears he may pass out before getting a chance to touch you like you deserve. 
“y-you’re not in your right mind, Y/N,” he whispers, afraid his voice may betray him. “you smoked too–”
“uh-uh, it’s okay– vernon, it’s okay, i want you… please,” you whimper, grip around his wrist tightening as you buck your hips slightly for more friction. 
you want him. you… want him. 
“but–”
you’re growing frustrated, “if you won’t… then i-i think you should go ‘cuz i need… i need to be alone.”
vernon takes this as an implication that you need to fuck yourself if he won’t fuck you and he’ll be damned if he’s not the one making you see stars. 
so, he asks one more time, “Y/N… are you sure?”
“yes… yes, ‘m sure. ‘m so sure, please, ‘sol,” you beg, using the nickname that makes him fold every time. 
he doesn’t hold back, putting out the joint in his hand and leaving it in the ashtray. his now-free hand cups your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss. you moan, eagerly allowing his tongue to slip into your mouth as your hands needily fist at his shirt. 
despite having smoked, vernon’s lips are soft. softer than the lips of men you’ve kissed before. and he still tastes good even with the pungent lemony flavor lingering on his tongue– overwhelmingly good. it seems that he’s just as eager and turned on as you are, too, nearly devouring you whole. you can’t help but fall in love with the heated, now-sloppy kiss.
and vernon truly feels like he’s died and gone to heaven. he’s not sure if this is even real or if the weed has him hallucinating… it wouldn’t be the first time, but you biting down on his bottom lip has him coming back to earth and lets him know that you’re real. that you are very much real and very much grinding on his fingers desperately. 
“vernon,” you pant, pulling him closer by the shirt in your grip. “please, more— feels good, but i need more.” your hazy eyes look into his and you see how they’ve darkened.
“fuck, Y/N,” he groans and his voice has you clenching around nothing. “we need to go inside…”
you’re both sure that this might ruin your relationship, but you decide it’ll be a problem for tomorrow. right now, all either of you can think about is getting off on each other. 
that’s why you’re quick to stand on your feet, holding out your hand for him to take. when he stands, grunting, you pull him into your apartment and leave all of your goods on the balcony without a second thought. 
you drag him to your room before attacking him with another kiss and pulling at the ends of his shirt. you’re a bit disoriented, swaying and stumbling over your steps, but when your legs hit the bed and you nearly fall, vernon’s quick to catch you by the waist. 
“careful,” he murmurs, gently laying you on the plush mattress. you scoot to the head of the bed, laying on your back as you wait for him. 
he takes your expectant face as a sign to remove his clothing and he does so quickly, knowing how impatient you are at this very moment. his shirt comes off and then his sweats, leaving him in boxers where his bulge becomes… apparent.
you have to hold your breath at the dizzying sight of his naked torso and the massive tent in his underwear.
you make grabby hands at him, urging him to come take care of you on the bed. he obliges, getting on your bed, hovering over you while his own head spins. he’s truly unsure if this is actually his real life or if he’s having a dream sent from the gods above. 
he decides not to wait any longer, taking control of the situation by placing his lips on your heated neck. his lips trail down, leaving sloppy, wet kisses on your skin, reveling in how you desperately whimper for him though he’s barely doing anything. 
his hands reach for the hem of your loose top– one that might actually be his– pushing it up and tugging it over your head and arms, leaving your chest bare before him. he groans before diving to your tits, wrapping his lips around one of your nipples, sucking and tugging at the bud hungrily. 
you gasp at the sight. you’ve never seen vernon so eager to do anything in the time you’ve known him and now he’s making out with your tits as if it were his last day on earth. 
that’s hot, you think to yourself. so hot– you’re so fucking hot right now.
you can’t see it, but you feel his hand come down to your sleep shorts, digging in past the elastic band of both the satin fabric and your cotton undies. his fingers dip into your lips, running them through your soaked folds. 
“you’re so wet.” he hisses. 
you whine at the contact, apologizing softly, “‘m sorry– can’t help it.” 
his fingers find your hole, circling it before easing two of them inside. “don’t apologize, baby. it’s really hot.” he whispers, the pet name slipping past his lips without completely registering. 
you clench and moan at the domestic name. “fuck, ‘sol,” you whimper. “a-again… call me that again…”
his face burns, whispering out, “you like when i call you ‘baby?’” 
knowing vernon, it was meant to sound like a genuine question, but being in the state you’re in, it sounds so seductive… so enticing that it has your back arching. you nod your head, an even darker blush falling over your already-red cheeks. 
you let out a clipped, “yes.” and he just moans, thrusting his fingers in and out faster, digits stretching your tight, gummy walls out to prepare you for his cock. 
he wonders how you could be so tight because, holy fuck, you’re squeezing around his fingers like you’re trying to trap them in there. 
you whine softly, “vernon, please give me more…”
he definitely just fucking died. 
his cock twitches uncontrollably in his boxers, begging to be set free, but he decides to give you another finger instead. vernon knows he’s… a bit on the bigger side, and judging by how you feel right now, there’s absolutely no way he’ll easily fit inside of you. the last thing he wants to do is hurt you. 
so he slowly pulls his hand out of your shorts and helps you out of them. he throws them to the side and has you spread open. he huffs at the sight before taking three of his fingers back to your hole. he pushes them in gently, groaning at the tighter fit. your moans are bouncing off the walls and vernon looks up to see your mouth hung open with your head thrown back against your pillow. 
he checks on you, throat dry at the sound, sight, and feeling of you. “i-is… are you doing okay?” and when you just whine, he bites the inside of his cheek anxiously. he remembers your fondness for the pet names from a few minutes prior, so he tries again. “baby… does it feel good?”
and he’s not sure what to expect, but when your body jolts and your hand's fist at the sheets, you get even tighter, clenching around his fingers desperately. you really do have an affinity for being called ‘baby.’ 
your brain is jumbled, intoxicated from the weed and his fat fingers stretching your cunt open. “‘m okay… f-feels so good.” you tell him breathily with a whine bubbling in the back of your throat at the feeling of his fingers pushing further into you. “fuck, vernon– it’s so good.”
and it’s true, you don’t think you’ve ever experienced pleasure this intense before, but you remember your senses are heightened by 10 because of the drug. that ‘green crack’ is insane.
he moans at the confirmation, curling his fingers up and fucking your messy cunt, the palm of his hand bumping against your clit with every thrust. he feels a rush of your honeyed arousal soaking his fingers and he swears he might cum before he can even get his cock in you. 
you gasp loudly when you feel his pace quicken, eyes squeezing shut. an array of mewls and high-pitched whines shamelessly slip past your lips. “oh! fuck, i’m close, i’m so close, vernon.” you warn, wet walls clamping around his curled fingers.
he exhales sharply, voice low when he urges you, “cum for me, baby.”
his voice and harsh thrusts are more than enough to throw you over the edge, stomach knots unraveling. you gush all over his big fingers, pussy pulsing as it’s doing its best to push his digits out, but he continues his ministrations to work you through your blinding orgasm.
feeling you cum may have been the best thing life has offered him. 
“fuck, that’s it– are you okay? did that feel good?” he asks breathily, pulling out his fingers, a string of arousal connected to your hole following them out. he bites his lip at the sight, keeping a moan bottled up. he wants to taste you so bad… and the cum on his fingers taunt him. 
you nod your head, still panting, “w-was so good, y-you’re really good… don’t usually cum that fast…”
“really?”
you shake your head, “t-told you that guys don’t really know what they’re doing most of the time.”
he shakes his head in disapproval, “well… you deserve the best.” 
“... like you?” your heart races and the weed from earlier still lingers like a cloud over your brain. you look at him, the soft light from the moon illuminating his flawless skin. your eyes trail down his torso, eyes landing on the big bulge in his boxers again. 
he chokes, masking the sound with a nervous chuckle, “me? i-i’m not…no.” your eyes widen, realizing you’ve completely misread him, feeling panic flood your body. you quickly shut your legs, arms coming to cover your bare chest. 
he’s quick to notice that you’re starting to spiral, though, so he re-registers what you said and then what he said and his eyes widen, too. his words come out rushed as he attempts to do damage control. “no! not no, as in i don’t see you in that way, but no because you deserve the best and…”
“but… you are the best, ‘sol…” you tell him softly, hugging yourself tighter. “and before you say anything, the weed is wearing off– think you finger-fucked it out of me,” you joke to lighten the mood, but when you see he’s still frozen, you internally cringe at yourself, continuing. “i’m being serious. i’m in my right mind and i’m telling you that you’re the best because you are. you always have been.”
he shudders nervously, “Y/N… don’t.”
you frown at him, turning your head away to look at your window instead, mentally face-palming yourself. “did i make it awkward again?” you ask nervously. you don’t even wait for his response, continuing your anxious ramble. “can you just forget i said anything? and that i made you do this? i…i don’t wanna lose you– i never want to lose you.” you whisper. “you’re my best friend.”
he shakes his head incessantly as if he’s trying to tell you something with the simple action, but you aren’t even looking at him, so he takes a deep, shaky breath. “no, you didn’t make me do anything. i just mean don’t say things like that if you don’t really like me because i…” he trails off and you turn back to look at him, concerned by his sudden halt. “Y/N, i… like you. so much. i have for forever now, but you were always talking about soonyoung or cheol and then there was that whole thing with that pretentious art kid– minghao, i think– i dunno.”
what!?
you look at him incredulously, eyes wide and lips parted in genuine shock, “why didn’t you tell me…?”
he sighed, hands coming to rest on your thighs. “it seemed like i never really had a chance… you’re my best friend, too… and i didn’t want to lose you either.”
you sit up, exclaiming, “but you’ve liked me this entire time and i didn’t even know?!”
he gives you a small grin and a shrug, “what can i say? i’m discreet.”
you scoff, sitting in silence for a few seconds before opening your mouth again. with your voice meek, you say.“i wish you would’ve told me.” you inhale sharply, continuing to hug yourself tightly. “i like you, too, you know… i just didn’t think you liked me back so i tried to not like you– which is really hard, by the way, because you’re annoyingly pretty.”
“sorry, i’ll try to stop being so pretty.”
you playfully slap his bare chest, “i actually hate you so much.”
he jokingly sulks, placing a hand over where you hit him. “aw, baby, you just said you liked me.”
you shudder, body naturally leaning into him as your mind gravitates back to your not-so-innocent thoughts. “i do… and i’d like you a little more if you kept calling me that.”
his breath hitches as you get closer and closer, “yeah?”
“mhm…”
he whispers against your lips, a cheeky smile on his, “you’re such a baby.”
“you’re so mean,” you hum, letting your lips graze his. “am i not your baby?”
he rests his forehead against yours and looks into your eyes for any sign of playfulness. you seem to be serious so he asks, “is that what you want?” he’s nervous you can hear the way his heart is about to pound out of his chest. 
“duh… idiot.”
“okay, cool.” he says nonchalantly even though he’s internally freaking out. “you’re my baby.”
your heart skips a beat and your cunt dampens again at the title, “okay, cool.” you parrot casually as if your heart wasn’t about to lurch out of your chest. “you can… kiss me. if you want…”
vernon utters a soft ‘right’ before finally closing the gap between the two of you. his lips mold to yours and you know for a fact that there is no one else on earth you’d want to kiss. his big hand comes to cup your cheek and you melt under the touch, mouth opening for him to slip his tongue into. 
naturally, the kiss heats up and before long, you’re whining into his mouth, hand blindly reaching for his clothed cock. he groans the second you find the aching hard-on, nimble hands stroking him through his boxers. 
“Y/N,” he pants breathily in between kisses. “are you… sure you wanna… do this?”
you think it’s sweet that he keeps checking on you, and sure, you’re still a bit fuzzy from the after-effects of the ‘green crack’, but you need him to give you what you want. so you nod, breaking from the kiss to lay back in your original position under him. 
“please fuck me, baby,” you beg in the most sultry voice you can conjure up. when he stays frozen, you pout. “hansol, please.”
he curses, quickly getting his boxers off and revealing the prettiest dick you’ve ever seen. precum beads at the slit of his flushed tip and prominent veins run through the length. he’s so big, surely enough to have you see stars. you’re starting to feel grateful that he prepped you because his dick would have completely ruined you without it.
“‘s big.” you simply state, bottom lip finding sanctum in between your teeth as you gawk at it. 
“you think so?” he gives you a wobbly smile, stomach-churning at the subtle praise. he moves in between your thighs and spreads you out for him. “is it okay?”
you blush, nodding your head, “mhm, don’t worry,” you tell him. “i’ll let you know if i need you to stop.” 
he nods, huffing softly, “do you have any condoms?”
you chuckle breathily. “not for your size… but it’s okay, i’m clean and safe. you don’t need one. you can pull out if it makes you feel better.”
his throat runs dry– fuck, fuck, fuck. he’s fucking you raw?! how the hell is he supposed to last hitting it raw?! you were already tight around three of his fingers and he can’t even imagine how you’d feel wrapped around his cock.
he realizes he hasn’t replied in a few seconds when you say his name softly. he sees you growing restless under him and he apologizes and nods again dumbly. 
he runs his tip through your folds, moaning when he finds you’re just as wet as you were earlier. he aligns himself with your leaky hole, slowly pushing himself inside of you with a groan to find that you’re still so fucking tight.
you’ve found that, despite vernon’s laid-back and chill personality, he’s quite loud in bed. he’s nothing like you expected and you’re pleasantly surprised. 
when his cock slides in between your tight walls, the both of you are instantly a mess, panting and moaning in pleasure. your walls envelop him so snugly that you fear the thick veins that adorn his length will imprint into them.
“fuck, vernon.” you moan, praying the burn in your pussy melts to pleasure soon so he can fuck you the way you want it. the way you need it. . “your cock.”  
he hisses, pushing in past the resistance. “you feel so good, baby, oh my god.” he grunts, head falling back at the way you hug him. “god, i’ve wanted this for so long– wanted you for so long.”
you cry, clenching around his girth because, god, you’ve wanted him, too.
when he finally bottoms out, you both pause to take erratic breaths, positively going feral over each other. he attempts to recollect himself and check up on you again. “are you–”
you don’t even let him finish, nodding your head vigorously. “yes, vernon, just need you to move, please.” you plead. “need you to fuck me– please, need it so fucking bad.”
you’re so needy for him and he knows it’s because of the last bit of weed that looms, but he can’t help but wonder if you’re like this on a normal day. if you’re always begging for a cock to fill you up. not that it would matter– he’d do anything you asked of him. you’re so fucking pretty to him and his brain is constantly yelling at him to cater to every single one of your wishes. the chokehold you have him in is so tight. 
tight like your pretty cunt that’s now gracefully swallowing his cock with every thrust of his hips. your room is full of panting, moans, and the lewd squelch of your wet pussy taking him. it sounds better than any song he’s ever heard and, if he’s being completely transparent, he hopes to experience this for the rest of his life.
vernon unexpectedly comes down, craning his neck to latch his mouth around your nipples again, stimulating you there, too. you’re sure the position is a bit straining, but he doesn’t seem to mind as he moans loudly into your chest. his hand plays with the other nipple, switching every minute to give both of them love and attention all while his cock steadily rams in and out of you. 
your hands tangle in his hair, smothering his face into your tits while he moans and whines some more into them. 
and when he adjusts slightly and his tip hits that spot, the one that makes you crumble in seconds, a sob wracks through your entire body.
“there! shit, baby, right there, please.” you gasp, back arching into him. 
vernon asks breathily, removing his face from the comfortable spot on your chest, “there? that’s it?” 
and you nod, chest rising and falling at a rapid pace as you feel the pressure build-up at the bottom of your tummy. he continues to hit the spongy spot inside of you, bringing you closer and closer. 
his own face is pinched and he can’t stop the soft whines that come out of his mouth. you just feel fucking amazing. 
“a-are you close? i’m not gonna last long.” he pants out. 
and you weakly sob out a reply of ‘yes,’ hand moving to toy with your swollen clit. the action immediately has the tightrope inside of you coming undone for the second time in the night. you mewl out his name, clamping around him tightly and coating his cock in slick cum. 
it’s like a chain reaction that has vernon cursing and pulling his dick out of you. he eagerly fists at his cock, jerking himself off till he releases all over your puffy pussy. he’s moaning softly, prettily calling out your name. his heart pounds rapidly and his entire body twitches at the feeling of release. 
his eyes finally open after a few seconds of trying to regulate his breathing. he sees the way your cunt is dressed in white and how you're slowly, but surely, coming down from both of your highs. 
“hey,” he whispers. 
“hi,” you mumble, eyes fluttering open. your hands reach for him and he can’t help but find you so cute. “c’mere.”
he smiles, leaning down to kiss you again. unlike your past few kisses, it’s soft and innocent. loving. he parts after a minute or so, hand moving to sweep the hair out of your face. 
“are you sure you’re alright?” he whispers. “i feel kinda bad…”
“don’t, ‘sol, i wanted it. i’m really happy.” you tell him sincerely. “are you alright?”
he sighs, “i’m really happy, too… i just wish i would’ve taken you out on a date or something before… fucking you.” 
you shake your head, “we did it kinda backwards, but, seriously, i’m just happy you’re here… happy that you’re mine.” he blushes, moving to hide his face in your neck while you giggle. “if you wanna, we can go on a date now?”
“where?” he mumbles into your neck.
“7/11– channie’s working so that means free big gulps and rollers… you know, since some of us can’t afford to eat real food because of their ‘job.’”
vernon scoffs, pulling his face out of your neck and giving you a stern look. “dude, it’s a real job–”
you laugh, effectively cutting him off. “okay, scammer– if it’s a real job, why are you always stealing my fucking weed instead of buying your own?” 
“because weed is scarce these days and your bitch ass dealer hates me– why should i have to pay $20 for a gram when you only pay $5?” he nearly cries. “and, since we’re on the topic, i don’t like him. he’s too friendly with you.” that’s code for “he obviously wants to fuck you.”
“you’re jealous of cheol!”
he groans, rolling his eyes, a tiny pout appearing on his face, “so what if i am?”
you coo, “aw, baby,” hand coming to cup his blushy cheek. “you don’t have to worry about him,” you relay to him, voice laced with sincerity. “you’re the only one i want.”
he goes a little bug-eyed at your words before clearing his throat and nodding. “good. that’s good.” 
you raise an eyebrow, “just good?” 
“no… it’s great…” he mumbles cutely. “you’re also the only one i want.”
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firefly--bright · 2 years ago
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jean kirstein modern headcanons!!!
warnings : none! gender neutral pronouns used, if any.
a/n: HI HELLO I'm so so SO sorry for the late fics. my finals ended like a month ago and oh my god I've just been Going Places™ like my schedule is jam packed with meeting up with people i haven't seen in three months because of the exams :/ I'm working on the requests!!! i promise, i read them and i am working on them. but!!! here are some headacanons to.... make up for the lack of content :3
taglist : @mrsnobodynobody , @holding-ishu-and-a-book
✿ masterlist is in linked in pinned post! ✿ enter my taglist ✿
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• he doesnt have a big sweet tooth but he LOVES chocolate like can't live without it. if you're also a chocolate person, he'll buy your fav ones for you and lowkey judges you for it ("why would you like this one???? the one i like is wayyy better you should get those")
• he's most definitely a friend's to lovers type guy. he never really thought he would be, though. he's a hopeless romantic and falls in love with anyone and everyone BUT he's also, as mentioned before, more hopeless than romantic. he'll yearn for the person from a distance, so he doesn't really think that he would go and fall in love with his best friend, of all people. you fall first he falls harder type beat yk?
• he's kind of gives off this confident, cocky and kind of intimidating vibe about him. when you first met him you just knew he thought a little too highly of himself. but after getting to know him, he's super vulnerable and soft and actually tries to be close to you. his intimidating Mr. i-fold-my-arms-over-my-chest-to-show-off-my-biceps persona is just a front, like he thinks being that coccky guy will make people think he's like mysterious or something and want to be his friend/partner
• i have a bi jean agenda actually
• thinks VERY highly of you. asks for your advice on everything even if you might not be good at giving it, hed want to know what you, specifically, think
• he's an architecture major :D i know alot of people have diff headcanons of him doing pol-sci/law (which are all valid tbh i agree with those hcs) but!!! i think he chose architecture because he has the right amount of passion for it. it's the closest thing to art he can have. he loves art but he's also aware that it doesn't...pay well, neither does he want to loose his passion for art. hes heard one too many stories of people choosing art and regretting it because their passion for art is no longer just a passion. Jean's scared he'd lose his love for it.
• isn't really used to physical touch, and if you're a touchy feely person, he's a little surprised when you hold him for the first time. he quickly grows into loving your touch tho and initiates cuddles :)
• hes kinda super smart. like he scores really well in class and always has. not only that, but he's gifted athletically as well
• he's more of a listener than a talker, i think. hed initiate conversation, ask you about you day and let you take away the conversation. doesn't really mind if it's "all about you", but if you ask him about anything, he'd gladly talk.
• hes actually SO shy when it comes to actually doing relationshippy things. the first time you held hands as a couple and not just friends, he had a nervous breakdown. he couldn't even look you in the eyes when he asked you out on a date, even if it was just a casual movie night at home
• he's very organized, surprisingly. he's not a clean freak but he just likes knowing where things are. rarely rearranges anything because it not only frustrates the hell out of him, he'd also have to get used to the new arrangements.
• he has a fixed skincare routine!!! he had acne as a teenager so he started taking skincare more seriously. knows a lot about different products, and if you don't have a fixed skincare routine, he'd tell you to have one. if you have super sensetive skin (like me) and can't handle anytjing other than basic face wash, he'd remind you to wash your face every night.
• he also is protective of his hair!!! he used to have dyed hair, but it didn't go well. he TRIED to bleach his hair but failed and half of his hair came out :')) he never dyes his hair anymore but he does freshen up his mullet every now and then. doesn't let anyone but his mom and you touch his hair.
• asks you if you can help him with oiling his hair because he saw one of those tiktoks saying they work really well. if you're anything like me and are used to oiling your hair every week, you'd massage his hair and his eyes close and his entire body relaxes the moment your hands weave through his hair <3
• LOVES showing you off. either in little ways (by swinging your hands together while walking) or by literally making his entire Instagram page about you. all of his six posts (he rarely posts, but whenever he does it's all about you) have you in them. the cheesiest captions, too. if that wasn't enough, he'd have (y/n)'s with your fav colour heart emoji next to your name in his bio to let literally everyone know who he's with.
• he actually loves to cook!!!! as said before, he'd very organized, so i feel like he'd also be into meal prepping. he watched those aesthetically pleasing videos of people rearranging their fridges with ungodly amounts of plastic cabinets. his own fridge is sort of a mess becahse he doesn't know what goes where :') but he does meal prep, and sometimes even packs you lunches with lil notes
• speaking of notes, he's not really good at talking about his love for you. like he'd show it in so many ways but he can't say it out loud. not only does he get uncharacteristically shy, he's always had issues with saying the words "i love you" out loud, so he either writes about it or draws you <3 you'd find random notes and letters written to you, sometimes with just. a cheesy joke, sometimes he actually Tries and writes a whole letter for you pouring out all the things he can't say out loud.
• the start of your friendship, you two bicker alot. it's clear you care about each other, but he loves teasing you because he knows you'll shoot back.
• he wears really thin eyeliner on special occasions <3 he doesn't like bold looks, but he does like how subtly the eyeliner makes his eyes look different. if yiure good at makeup, he'd ask you to help him.
• has a plethora of diff hats tbh like he collects them like an addiction. he has a fedora and beanies and bucket hats and normal embroidered hats. he has so many it's concerning
• he's very good at driving. when the two of you started getting closer, he'd ask you on long late night drives, either for take-out or just to listen to music and talk. he enjoys your company while driving. if you usually have motion sickness in cars, you will never feel nauseous in his car. he drives very smoothly, not too fast and not too slow. he's kind of a perfectionist (not extremely) and literally screams at Connie to slow down when he goes even a little over the speed limit. he drives the whole time in every road trip.
• his fav dessert is cheesecake. his unpopular opinion is that they're the perfect ratio of sweet and savoury, crunchy and soft.
• hes one of those people to fall asleep anywhere and everywhere. on the couch, at the table, no matter how loud it is or how bright it is. he's a light sleeper and also a snorer. if you're cuddling together, he'd either lay on top of you or wraps not one but both of his arms around you. one under your neck to provide a nice neck cushion, and one draped over your stomach.
• he runs warm, which is both a blessing and a cruse. in summers, even if he'd want to cuddle with you, you feel the need to get as far away as him because he's just so warm. you'd wake up in your own sweat if you do decide to take the risk and let him cuddle you. in winters though, his warmth is very welcome.
• loves it when you hug his arm while walking. if you're tired and kind of lean into him, expect him to eat that shit UP because he loves your warmth as much as you love his. loves it when you lean into him or hug his bicep. even flexes his muscles for effect (you definitely tease him for that)
• is not a fan of thunderstorms, he kind of has bad memories. either from being left out while the ither kids play in the rain, either from the rumbling and the scary sound that comes with thunders that resembles the sound of his angry father or its just how inconvenient it is.
• his dad wasn't really in his life that much, always away on business. every time he would come home, he'd srot of criticize jean's hobbies :( his mom eventually seperated from Jean's father and started her own bakery, hence Jean's love for chocolates.
• he panics very hard when you feel sick. he jumps right into his mama bird genes and makes you a soup from either his mother's recipie or he'd call your mother and ask her for her own sick day recipies. he'd feed it to you and refuse to leave you alone until you've had your meds.
• he loves kissing your forearm for some reason. you loop your hands around his neck after kissing him, so it's the closest to his mouth. he turns his head slightly, closing his eyes as he pecks your forearm :3 it's kinda a weird spot to like kissing, but it's really endearing when it comes from him.
• he has a couple small tattoos here and there. two of the five he has have actual meaning whereas the other three are just for fun
• he wants whatever you want. if you want children in the future, he'd be there with you. if you want nothing but a large house and a couple pets, he'd love to make your dream come true. he's passionate and extremely good at what he does, and he takes pride in it.
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bisluthq · 3 years ago
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Okay so I’ve been meaning to ask for a while now but I was far too nervous and didn’t want to offend anyone. But, that being said, can I ask why you choose to indulge in RPF? I personally find it super strange, invasive and (maybe this is a stretch) but also low-key dehumanising?
Idk what word to use here and how to eloquently word this but definitely feels like RPF plays into the fetishisation and the ‘disconnect’ of celebrities from people who indulge in it. Like, by writing RPF you’re writing your own version of that person (some people try and stay accurate whilst others invent whole new personalities after) but you don’t know them, not entirely, and for writers to (understandably) fill in the gaps with whatever they like and create fics seems a little disrespectful and voyeuristic, esp because you’re using very real people to fill in the majority of the sexy (or just generally desired) ‘character bar’ whilst headcanoning the rest and publishing it.
Idk, I personally find it kinda disrespectful as to how real human beings are just used almost as props to serve and fulfill a handful of people’s fantasies/desires. At least with fictional characters, it’s not that big a deal if you headcanon, fill in the personality gaps or go ooc because they are fictional. But for RPF, the real people are often treated as jumping off points for whatever build-a-bearfantasy writers have in mind (younger writers/readers are far more likely to do this but I believe it’s a widespread phenomenon amongst everyone who indulges in it)
And I know the people involved are likely never going to read it but it still doesn’t mean they haven’t been disregarded/disrespected as a person already. I’ve personally never liked RPF, writing or reading, but I know some people like it - I just don’t know why?? I know one argument I’ve heard is that celebs are in the public eye and so, they can rightfully be objectified/sexualised by their fanbase, which yes kinda makes sense but idk if it merits/justifies using the shell of the celebrity to fulfill the kinks of everyone in their fanbase.
I’m not sure how much sense I’ve made here. I’m pretty sure I’ve repeated myself the entire time lol but I am curious to what your answer would be. Full disclaimer - it is not my intention to shame you or anyone else - I just want to understand your thought process because it is wildly different to mine and for the most part I like/vibe with this blog a lot because your attitude towards celebs and celeb gossip is so refreshing. When I saw all the joshlie/swiftwyn fics I was a bit lost and further lost when people started actively thirsting, hence the reason behind this ask. Sorry this was so long ✌🏼
Okay so I have a lot of Thoughts™️ on this tbh. Now backstory: I was SUPER pearl clutchy about RPF for like actual years. I somehow missed the After phenomenon in terms of the books, but when the film deal came through I was properly scandalized. I was like, “Good grief imagine being Harry and you’re the basis for a whole ass abusive boyfriend character like what the actual fuck is wrong with these people!?” And then I did more thinking about it especially as I watched the sheer commercial success of this shitshow. 
Now I’m very like theoretically anti capitalism but I’m also a very pragmatic person whose primary love is and always has been and always will be the entertainment industry so we do have to look at what makes money because this shit’s not charity. And what the runaway success of After taught me is... RPF makes money. Like BIG money.
So then I had to relax on the pearl clutching and start asking myself why that is. Why are people into this shit? Well, celebs market themselves as 1) a brand and 2) sexual beings. You’re supposed to want them. That’s how they’re being sold to you. Harry’s not posing fucking stark naked in the Fine Line insert art for his health. Taylor’s not posting National Sock Appreciation Day for you to appreciate her socks. Like these are sexual beings and they’re being marketed to us as sexual fantasy. That’s part of why we’re buying their shit.
Let’s go back to the ‘celebs market themselves as a brand’ - if you look at people inspiring RPF it’s hardly ever people who are like... freaky private. Nobody’s putting out Saoirse Ronan RPF because tbh the average person, even an average fan of hers, doesn’t really know anything about her. She avoids socials and she doesn’t take too much press and she sorta just does her thing. People like Harry and Taylor and tbh Karlie market their personalities. They’re selling a whole package - not just a talented professional, not just a hot person, but a whole ass person who you’re supposed to buy into while also being y’know turned on by them per my previous points. 
So here we get into the RPF of it all. Realistically, these people are going to inspire fantasies. They’re trying to do that. And they’re also selling and marketing their relationships and personalities. Again, this is not an accident, this is a purposeful commercial push.
With that in mind, what’s so wrong about imagining scenarios that they’re kinda like... trying to concoct for us already? Taylor’s been singing about her sex life non stop since 2017. She’s told us these songs are about Joe. Joe’s a public figure who also takes interviews and markets his personality. Is it, therefore, wrong to imagine what that sex is like if they’re both hot and making money off of us? Is she not lowkey trying to get us to do that when she’s, like I say, singing about sex with him on main since 2017?
Now with RPF what we need to remember is this is purely fantasy. It isn’t real, and it’s not like... canon. I’m also not into like AU RPF personally like I don’t really have much imagination for like RPF crackships lmao but I’m also not going to get all huffy over it. For me, if celebrities sell shit using their relationship - as Taylor absolutely fucking does - and sell themselves as sexual and desirable - as Taylor absolutely fucking does - there’s nothing that wrong with fantasizing about what that is like.
It’s obviously not real. It shouldn’t be treated as real. But as an exercise in imagination, I don’t see what’s so wrong with it.
Also many of us have fantasies all the time even if we don’t write and publish them. We have sex dreams and weird fantasies about people we know/crushes and of course we fantasize about celebs. I think putting that down in formal words isn’t worth getting all up in arms about. I think it’s just having a bit of fun.
Finally, back to After: this is a HUGE commercial market. We can see that. And like I don’t see it as that unethical when I examine it closely because these people are also making money off of it. It’s like we can say “oh celeb gossip is so terrible” but it makes the people involved huge money. And considering at the end of the day entertainment shit does come down to the bottom line... ehhhh I’m okay with it.
Hope this kinda gives my take and it’s a conversation I’m very interested in so if y’all would like to keep having with takes and countertakes I’m all for it.
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laufire · 4 years ago
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Supernatural s5
I finished it a little while ago, but I haven’t had the time to make an involved post about it -or watch that much of s6 yet; I’m trying to be Resposible and the time I have has been spent in advancing fics a little bit or answering short asks lol.
-I have really enjoyed this season for the most part, but there’s something I need to get of my chest LOL: all through it, the song “Too Many Dicks (On The Dance Floor)” played in my head xDD. Like, listen, I knew what I was signing up for with this show!! I didn’t expect NOT to find it offensive or regressive on multiple occasions!! But I guess s3-4 must have spoiled me lmao. I’m not saying those seasons are the height of feminism, but if you removed its most important female characters, ESPECIALLY Ruby, the plot of the season would fall apart. That’s not something you can say for s5 and preventing the Apocalypse, just sayin’.
It wouldn’t’ve been that hard to expand Meg’s, Anna’s or the Harvelle’s part (they had good material to go there -Meg as the faithful possibly opening her eyes, Anna as the betrayed and the juror jury and executioner, the Harvelles as normal hunters fighting something way too big for them-, but barely any time and like I said, no incidence in the actual plot of the season). Hell, I’m biased but bringing back Ruby would’ve at least taken care of the problem lol. Or if the show had indulged me and kept Bellamy Young as Lucifer, at least. But everyone with a real say in the plot is a dude, or at least wearing one as a vessel (angel’s conception of gender is clearly different from humans, but in terms of ~~representation the results are the same lbr).
-My constant frustrations with Supernatural’s bigotry-related stuff lol, like I said, I really enjoyed the season (that combination is one of the most frustrating things about the show lmao). Especially Castiel’s plot. The guy has reached Potential Hall of Faves status and that’s hum. A Problem xD
But seriously, he was breaking my heart in all the best ways. His search for God (the Absent Father that the show specifically compared to John añsldkfjasf. This show ISTG!!), his disappointment and sense of betrayal at being let down (he called God Himself “son of a bitch”!!!). I was especially fascinated by his Endverse version -that AU will have its own section lol-, although it resulted in making me reaaaally nervous whenever he was close to an addictive substance :). Like yes, those scenes were lowkey humourous and adorable (like when he drinks shots with the Harvelles and Ellen is fascinated and Jo delighted -... lowkey shipping this too btw. Lowkey shipping Castiel with lots of people-, or his combo with Sam when he got drunk), but also, you know, WORRYING xD
Some of my favourite scenes of his were, predictably, his interactions with Meg or Lucifer in 5x10. The Megstiel scene was SUPER HOT (both their voices are very unf-y lol), I can’t wait to edit it. And having Lucifer call Castiel “a peculiar thing” sure was something xD (although lbr, this Lucifer isn’t keeping with his rebel angel reputation, Castiel is carrying that all by himself smh).
Another scene I couldn’t get out of my head if I wanted to is when he uhhhh... completely LOSES IT and starts beating the crap out of Dean when he was ready to give it up to Michael. “I gave everything for you, and this is what you give me?!?” ooooooof. It was hard to watch, and fascinating and intense. I shamelessly loved it lmfao.
Though my favourite moment of his is one that can only be appreciated when you know certain things about s6. It’s the scene where, unlike everyone else, he shows appreciation for Sam’s plan of sacrificing himself to get rid of Lucifer. Because yes, at this point it’s the only thing that can save the world. But Castiel isn’t saying, “Sam’s life is a small price to pay in comparison”, because he will go into s6 and snatch Sam out of the cage immediately. s5 established Sam got out, so with that in mind, he didn’t bring it up because he didn’t want to create false hope in case he failed, but he backed the plan with the intention of saving Sam anyway. I love that. I love him.
-The entire season was Missing Ruby Hours for me lmfao. Like I said, some of the problems in the season wrt female characters would’ve been at the very least lessened if she’d gotten to be here wrecking havoc. But generally I just miss her and What Could Have Been with her here. I enjoyed some of the crumbs (Sam using the witchcraft skillz he learned from her! Sam immediately knowing Meg isn’t Ruby, unlike Dean! Her knife! The ARCHANGEL GABRIEL referencing her as “the demon Sam chose over his brother”!! The callbacks with Crowley or Brady!!), but I would’ve wanted her here, dammit xD.
-Aaaaand we’re finally getting to Sam, who is without a doubt the star of the season, if you ask me. His plan at the end, to let Lucifer possess him in the hopes he can fight back for just long enough to overpower him and throw them both into the cage, with no hopes for himself? This is the kind of Big Damn Hero stunt I’m a sucker for, I won’t lie. And I love that the show felt the need to confirm he was still alive at the end of the season hehe.
He really Went Through It this season and he held on lmfao. On top of everything (the apocalypse, the guilt of being its final trigger, the addiction recovery, etc.), he also had to deal with Dean’s usual bullshit, which is no small feat xDD. Like, sure, from an audience stand-point all those things are interesting (some fave/the fuck moments are when Dean is obviously peeved that Bobby still supports Sam because he wanted Bobby in HIS corner, or when he has the nerve to say he wants to say yes to Michael because he doesn’t trust SAM not to say yes to Lucifer lmfaoooo), BUT IT’S STILL A FEAT XD
One note: for all the talk about bi!Dean, bi!Sam is so SEEN this season xDD. AFAIC he totally hooked up with that bartender Paul (RIP Paul. At least in your last moments you enjoyed Sam, who’s clearly an energetic, attentive lover 😔). And Crowley refers to Brady as Sam’s demon ex-boyfriend and nobody bats and eye lmfao (that story is so angsty... the parallels to Ruby, how he ingratiated himself with Sam by pretending to have fallen off the wagon... ouch).
-I have mixed feelings on Crowley. On his own, I fell absolutely in love with the guy on his first appearance. A demon that DOUBTS Lucifer and doesn’t kiss his ass?? That wants to get rid of him and do his own thing?? And clearly enjoys ~earthly pleasures to the fullest (his complains about how the other demons ate his tailor had me rolling laksjdfa)? The way he turned the tables on Brady? OFC I love him. OTOH boy, does it annoy me knowing that fandom GLADLY embraced him when they condemned characters like Bela or Ruby for similar things. It’s not his fault so I still like him (he’s like Gabriel in that sense), but it’s annoying!
It also annoys me how Dean Must Be Right All The Time syndrome interacts with him lol. This season Dean decides they can trust Crowley (despite Crowley killing two humans in front of him and getting him beat up by Brady lol), so they can. Next season he decides they can’t, so Castiel will be WrongTM because Dean Says So. Ugggggh xD
-To be fair, however, this season has my fave Dean so far LOL. In the love/hate scale, this one has been almost solely in camp love, barring some of those moments of irksome hypocrisy that he’s so prone to xD.
But there was something about how this season’s plot chipped away at him, you know? For all the traits he has that drive me up the wall or unsettle me, I appreciate a lot of his personality because it makes him a unique and interesting character driving the narrative -his irreverence, his ability to think on the fly and get out of shitty situations, his disbelief. Seeing all of those things under siege this season made me hurt for him in a way I hadn’t anticipated LOL. By the time he was ready to give in to Michael (and I love that what made him step away from that choice was Sam showing a trust in him he patently didn’t deserve lbr), sometimes I felt terribly for the guy.
I also wonder if this season kind of marked like... the beginning of the end for him, narrative-wise? Making him Michael’s vessel (his angel condom) is the kind of thing that turns him from subject into object, and that can doom characters ime. The fact that he ~resigns himself to Sam’s death when his identity as a character came with being His Brother’s Keeper is another slight.
-I continue having mixed feelings about Destiel too LMAO. I’ve decided I’m just going to try to enjoy the good and interesting parts while I can, while trying not to think of future developments that’ll likely sour the ship for me lol.
Because in truth, yeah, I enjoy their interactions a lot here! The Endverse was particularly enjoyable for me (back to that in a moment), but the entire season had a lot of gems. That moment in the finale, when Dean is wounded on his knees after Sam sacrifices himself, and Castiel resurrects and heals him with a touch? And Dean is staring in awe and asks him if he’s become God?? Like wtf am I supposed to do with that. WHO SAYS THAT. XDD
-The Endverse. Omgggggggg. The Endverse. I doubt I can say anything about it that hasn’t been said a thousand times, but seriously. I loooove it, all of it. My favourite was endverse!Castiel, ofc. The way he was in No Man’s Land, not an angel and not quite a human, his ways of trying to cope with that, how burned he was... I uncomfortably related to some of it too lmfao, but let’s not get into that xD.
Seeing both Deans interact was gr10 too. They really couldn’t stand each other lmfao (do you understand me now Dean?? They actually reminded me of two OCs in an original WIP of mine that are in a similar situation -in this case it’s the future version purposefully traveling to the past though-, which made me even fonder of the AU). And the Destiel? *chef’s kiss*. The bitterness, like when Castiel laughs when present!Dean berates endverse!Dean about the tortures and then purposefully says “I like past you” to hurt him asñldkfjasf. Or those looks when Dean returns to the past and tells Castiel to “never change” d’aw.
I loved Lucifer!Sam in this episode too (and personally, I think in the finale Lucifer -and Michael- should’ve changed his outfit too. Sam’s clothes just don’t get to The Devil’s levels, but that white suit was perfect). He was terrifying xD.
BTW: I’ve decided that, since we never see endverse!Castiel die, well. He didn’t xD. I could see Lucifer keeping him alive and captive out of a sense of nostalgia, as Castiel is the only other thing close to a fellow angel left. Might even decide to return his powers with time, or to ~entice him with such an offer lol. And ofc I headcanon Sam is still inside, occasionally trying to fight. Cue in all the Castiel/Lucifer and Castiel/Sam fic ideas too (I have waaaaay too many of those for this mini-verse. It’s very inspiring).
-I’m still on the fence at Lucifer’s motivations but I can’t question how the family issues fit so, so well into this ‘verse. “Family is hell” is the show’s thesis, after all xD. IMO the angels in general don’t feel like a family, they’re a military body/cult lol, but the Archangels are another matter. I guess is the whole “only four angels have seen God-slash-Dad” thing, the rest were... well, the help, apparently.
But Lucifer, Michael, and Gabriel do feel like brothers when they interact (I’m guessing here Gabriel is the Adam: discarded by the other two like nothing :)))). Raphael too, but since he doesn’t interact with them... does he get to later? Or is he the odd one out? Did the others avoid him because he kept quoting Nietzsche at dinner?? LOL.
-There are no words to explain how terribly I feel for Adam. JFC that poor KID. Who was kind and helpful and intuitive, and only wanted his mother back and to help stop the end of the world. And that Sam and Dean will leave rotting in Hell for a millennia :))). It’s kiiiiiiiiind of hard to do for your show’s “heroes” when they do shit like that lmfao. It’d be different if they never tried to make him feel he’s family, but Sam tried to convince him with the bs “because we’re blood” and they did a half-baked attempt at saving him from Zacharias, and then... yeah. At least he had Michael in the cage, but still.
-I was already spoiled of this, but the reveal that cupids made John and Mary fall in love is so chilling (good on Dean for punching that cupid asshole, btw). It puts what Mary says about John in flashbacks, about how much she loves him and how perfect he is, in such a terrifying light. And I’m under the impression that the show didn’t bother to deal with this properly when they resurrected Mary and just... I hate that tbh. It’s a narrative choice that should have a huuuge impact, dammit.
-I kind of loved how bitter and angry Bobby was about (temporarily, thanks to Crowley, his new demon bf -watch out Rufus) ending up in a wheelchair. That there were no platitudes or false sentimentality and it just... was.
-The Harvelles’ had a good send off. I can respect Kripke for wanting his faves to go on his terms lol. Having Jo refuse Dean’s offer of a fuck on their possible last night on Earth with “I rather spent it with a little thing I have self-respect”? Not because she doesn’t have feelings for him, but because she thinks she deserves better from him? I love it. This guy knows his pettiness xD
-The fact that this fandom seems to have ignored Gabriel x Kali is one of the reasons I’m never going to vibe with it, sns. Immortal exes? Check. She tricked him and killed him... but then it turns out HE tricked and he’s alive? Check. BUT THEN HE STILL GOES BACK AND SAVES HER, DYING BY HIS BROTHER’S HAND?? CHECK CHECK CHECK. Ugh, why can’t they come back to me. I know, I know, Kali is a WoC and those are only allowed one (1) appearance before they’re killed off, apparently. So it might be a good thing that she doesn’t return xD. But gosh, they were gr10.
-Death the Horseman’s intro cleared my skin. I love him. I love how utterly terrifying he is and how chilling his and Dean’s scene was. And I yearn to find a picture of the guy a little younger and with a goatee, because he’s the most perfect Discworld’s Vetinari fancast I’ve ever found xDD
-I’ve seen tons of commentary over the years, and especially lately for obvious reasons, about how this season finale would’ve been a much better ending for the show. I��m not there yet, and it does sound like the finale was a mess and this one’s was a very well constructed episode (and, ofc, the Final Love Interest was NOT blurry!!). But even if by the end I come to loathe the finale, there’s one reason I already know won’t let me agree on the s5 ending being perfect: God xDD
The episode makes Chuck come across as a ~benevolent figure and no, fuck that, do NOT want, take it away from me!! Give me God as the Big Bad Wolf, the last evil to conquer any day. It’s like Dumbledore all over again: I enjoy the character a lot more if I feel canon and I are on the same page wrt his shadiness xDD
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zkfanworkweek · 4 years ago
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ZFAW Content Creators: MarkedMage
Hey everyone! We hope you’re all excited for ZFAW, and to honor (ha!) ZFAW’s commitment to supporting and celebrating fan content creators in the Zutara fandom, we’re going to be rolling out a series of interviews with well-known and widely-beloved content creators over the next few weeks. We’ve got artists and fanfiction authors, some names you recognize as well as a few phenomenal up-and-coming talents, and we can’t wait for you to meet them all!
I know I got super behind with these, but I can’t wait to bring you the next interview with the lovely @markedmage! You can find her fanfiction HERE: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarkedMage/pseuds/MarkedMage 
Tell us about how you came to ship zutara. What does this ship mean to you?
 I first watched Avatar when it first came out and didn't pay too much attention to the ships at first, I remember seeing the final Kataang kiss and not really liking it. A few years later I rewatched the whole series and saw the chemistry and the strength of the bond between Katara and Zuko and it all just kind of went downhill from there. The pirate scene? Iconic. And I think I kinda knew, at the moment of CoD, that I was well and truly doomed. This ship means a lot to me, especially on a personal level, because I had a really tough year and a lot of hardships, and writing for Zutara was one of the things that got me through it.
 What inspires you to create Zutara fanworks? 
 I don't know if there's any particular thing that inspires me to write zutara, I just really love the bond and I love the respect and the love the two of them clearly hold for each other. They're beautiful, well written characters clearly meant for each other, and I just want to do them the justice that the original creators denied them so. I guess, if I had to narrow it down to any singular point of inspiration, it would probably just be the resurgence of ATLA on Netflix as well as reading a bunch of zutara fics that inspired me to write my own.
 Be selfish if you could request one fan work based on your art / fanfic what would it be? 
What would you absolutely love to see someone create? God I don't even know. I mean, my two favorite works of mine are make sense of all my broken parts and A Quiet Collision of Destinies, so if someone did any sort of fan appreciation for those two I would be floored. But honestly anything would be amazing- I know how laborious it can be to make content, so anything zk related (not even my works) is enough for me.
Any words for people who are new to the fandom and / or nervous about sharing their work for the first time?
 I mean if Zutara makes you happy, and writing/drawing them makes you happy, then you should do it. Because at the end of the day, this is the stuff that makes you happy and that matters more than comments and kudos on a page. That's the way I see it, that writing for Zutara makes me happy, and it's a bonus if it makes other people happy, but I'm writing for me first and foremost. I know there has been a lot of negativity towards Zutara supporters as of late, but I hope that doesn't deter any new writers/artists from doing what they love. At the end of the day, it's your content, and it's what makes you happy. And don't compare yourself to others! I know there's a whole mindset of comparing yourself to some of the big monster fics out there, like OATS and such, but in my opinion there is no real definition of what makes content good. Writing is in itself subjective, and people will either like it or they won't. So please don't compare yourself, and if you feel the need to, just remember that writing grows as you grow, so even if you think you're bad (which you're not!), Your writing voice will develop the more you do it. The same goes for drawing too!
What's an idea for a fan work that you have but haven't gotten around to making? 
 I recently read this most amazing fanfic called Purr by sparrowkeet1 and that lowkey inspired me to start writing my own modern zutara fic, although I haven't actually gotten around to planning and/or writing it yet. Other than that, I'm currently working on a soulmate AU, that I haven't quite finagled all the kinks out of it yet so it's an idea that's sort of in the works but not quite fully thought out yet. The first chapter is posted, but I really haven't gotten around to writing/drafting the rest of the plot, so I guess that counts, right? Are you participating in z f a w? If so want to give us a hint as to your plans? I'm going to attempt, emphasis on attempt. My life has gotten pretty hectic right now with grad school, so unfortunately writing for zutara has taken a backseat to academia, but if I do get around to writing for ZFAW, I plan on writing a fic inspired by Haylenfoster's animatics for zutara week!
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stevethehairington · 4 years ago
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Tagged by: the lovely @scimitar-and-longsword  💕💕
Name(s): my name is Mack, and if this also includes like usernames too then my ao3 is macksdramaticshenanigans and obviously yall can see my tumblr url lol. i have a fandom twitter but i hate twitter so i barely go on it lmao.
Fandom(s): oh boy haha this is a loooong list. as of right now, the main fandoms i’m involved in are The Old Guard and Trust FX, but in the past i’ve written for Skam, Marvel, Good Omens, Love Simon/Simon vs., Shameless, and IT. and ofc there are some fandoms i have not written for that i casually enjoy as well.
Where you post: all my fics are posted on ao3! or are sitting in my wips folder lol. i’ve ocsasionally posted some snippets of writing here to tumblr, but none of those are like full on, proper fics, mostly just me rambling off some thoughts i had about whatever characters in whatever scenarios
Most Popular One Shot (by kudos): Imagine Being Loved By Me (918 kudos) ((so close to 1k holy shit!!!! if it got to 1k i think i’d actually die of happiness omg)) this is my Good Omens smut fic lmfao, crowley is fantasizing and aziraphale makes it a reality skgjsd. i’m actually pretty damn pleased with how this one turned out, and i never expected it to get that many kudos so that makes me ridiculously happy sfjgfg. (and also podfixx made a podfic of this fic which made me INSANELY happy like that is the coolest thing ever)
Most Popular Multi-Chapter (by kudos): I Have Hella Feelings For You (697 kudos) ahhh this one!! this one is actually my very first ever chaptered fic!! it’s a skam fic, and i have the most distinctive memory of me sititng in my dorm bed freshman year of college, furiously typing away at my laptop everyday for a week because i somehow managed to post a chapter every day until it was finished, which meant i was writing a new chapter everyday. like damn, i really peaked with that huh? lmao
Favorite story you’ve written so far: ahh okay not to like. toot my own horn kgfldg but this question is HARD bc i have a lot of favorites. i’m going to pick a favorite from each of my main fandoms i’ve written for because i’m an Indecisive Hoe okay fdjdf.
- From Marvel: Just Called To Say I Love You this one is my wrong number stucky fic and i actually adore this one so much, and also it actually ended up being WAY more popular than i expected it to? like i was lowkey shook by how many people liked it 
- From Skam: If You Love Me, If You Hate Me so. about this one. it’s probably my favorite skam fic that i’ve written. but. it also is the utter bane of my existence bc this is the one and only fic i have ever written and posted that i haven’t fnished gskgjfdlfs. it’s going on soon to be a little over 2 years of sitting on my account as an unfinished wip, but i REFUSE to mark it as abandoned bc i really genuienly DO want to finish it, i just havent written for this fandom in a while and inspiration/motivation is tricky yknow? but anyways. this fic is my soccer au!! it was a gift for a secret santa exchange i believe to a dear friend of mine and i still feel awful that i never finished it but. one day!!
- From Love Simon/Simon vs.: Where I Like You Best i am actually obsessed with this one. is that weird to say about your own fic? i enjoy reading a good soulmate au, but writing them has always been SO daunting to me bc i never feel like my ideas are original enough or like things that havent been done a lot for that trope. but for this one!!! omg i found the BEST prompt for it and it fit these characters SO well and i wrote it and i ended up absolutely loving how it turned out, and i was so proud of myself for writing a pretty successful soulmate au.
- From Shameless: Wooden Floors, Walls, and Window Sills so this one was my second ever gallavich fic, and it’s probably my favorite because i think it’s the best characterization i got of them in all of my fics, and good characterization is one of the most important things to me when i write fic. 
- From IT: To What We Might Do is my favorite reddie fic i’ve written! i definitely projected onto richie a teeny tiny bit in it for some parts lmfao, but yeah idk i just love how this one turned out a whole lot, and i enjoyed how i ended it too (esp since endings can be very difficult for me lol). ((BUT also a special shoutout to my fic Imagine Me and You, I Do bc that one is just pure fluff and i adore the concept of someone being just so absolutely in love with someone doing something so incredibly simple and it just rocks their world)
- From Good Omens: I Want To Know What Love Is (did i use the most cheesy title ever? absolutely. do i love it? absolutely.) anyways this fic is one where crowley the demon experiences love and promptly thinks he’s dying. 
Fic you were nervous to post: ooh, i mean i’m always pretty anxious about any fic i post because i never know if it’s going to be recepted well or if people are going to like it or hate it or if anyone is even going to read it or repsond to it. especially if the fic is a gift for someone, because i just really want that person to like it yknow? but yeah idk if theres one in particular i was more nervous to post than any others... i guess maybe any smut fic? just bc i never know if the smut is even any good lol
How do you choose your titles?: eaaaaasy, i usually pick song lyrics lol, ocassionally i’ve used lines from a poem, and a few times i’ve gone with a pun, but mostly it’s song lyrics. i usually find a song with lyrics that i think will fit, or if there’s a particular song that vibes well with the fic or that i listened to repeatedly while writing the fic i’ll try to pick the best lyric from that one.
Do you outline?: yes and no lol. it honestly depends. sometimes i outline extensively, but other times i just sit in front of a doc and let whatever happens happen.
Complete: on my ao3 account i have 80 works completed (will be 81 once i finally finish that one single unfinished wip i have posted gahhh). but i know in my wips folder i have a at least one finished fic that i have not and probably will not post. there are also some other things in my wips folder that like technically could be conisdered finished too, but it’s not up to my posting standards so until i fix it so it is it’ll just sit there lol.
In-Progress: honestly there are too many to count lol. i have a shiiiiiit ton of wips (as yall will know if you saw that one ‘tell us about ALL your wips’ tag game post that was going around that i did lol). 
Coming soon/not yet started: tbh see above answer bc it’s pretty much the same lol. 
Prompts?: so the thing about prompts is that i would LOVE to take them, but it’s very very tricky bc i’m a super specific kind of gal and if i don’t vibe with the prompt it’s very difficult for me to write anything for it. but then there’s also the fact that inspiration/motivation are fickle bitches and they come and go as they please and so taking prompts is hard bc i never know if the stars will align and all that jazz for me to be in the ~ right mood ~ to work on a prompt. this is the exact reason why i have SO MANY sitting in my inbox right now, and i feel so bad for just letting them sit there but ughhh brain function?? how?? lol
Upcoming work you’re most excited about: sooooo i don’t necessarily have any specific works in progress right now (i’ve been so busy lately that writing has been the last thing on my mind and so i haven’t touched anything in weeks) but. i guess if i can ever get my shit together and finish the primo fic i’m close to finishing i’m pretty excited to post that! or honestly if i can actually get myself to finish any of the tog wips i have i’d be suuuper excited to post any of those bc i have not yet posted any tog fics!!
anways!! if you made it to this point thanks for sticking w me and reading through my long winded rambly answers lmao
Tagging: @peachykoya @wandering-scholar-lad @raynertodd @cluelessheroes @pinesboi @thewolvesrunwild @1derspark 
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orange-yarn · 4 years ago
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for @maddie80​, who asked if I would answer the rest of the ask meme questions for strange trails! sure thing, friend!
I answered a few HERE, but now for the rest!
1. Of the fics you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?
Strange Trails, for sure for sure! I’ve never worked this hard on anything in my life, and I’ve also never enjoyed a project this much! A part of me will probably be very sad when it’s done!
3. Which part was hardest to write?
The romance, I get so nervous!!! I’m afraid to go too corny, or that I won’t hit the right emotions??? I’m so bad at romance, I don’t even know how to describe the parts I’m afraid to get wrong, lololol. But I do actually really enjoy those parts, versus lowkey dreading them at first!
4. If you could change anything in the fic, what would it be?
I would have made Amri a POV character, starting at the beginning of Act 2. That being said, I don’t actually regret leaving him out, but it would have been fun to have him around!!!
5. Did you make an outline? Did you stick to it?
Way back in...October??? When I decided that Strange Trails was going to be a Whole Thing, I laid out a very basic outline of all the major events, going all the way to the finale. I have stuck to that outline pretty faithfully, actually! I have also made some more specific outlines, such as the one I made for the “Siege of Ha’Rar” / Act 2 finale (you can find it here).
8. Which came first, the title or the fic?
The fic! Although, funny story, I’m so used to calling strange trails by its shorthand, that I forget that the real title is much longer, lolololol. 
9. Which idea came to you first?
Look, all I wanted to write was some good old fashioned hurt/comfort. You can’t tell me Rian isn’t a prime candidate for that tried and true “hiding a wound” trope. This quickly expanded to, “well probably I can find a way to fix Deet, her ending hella sucked in the show.” Then, the reception to the fic absolutely blew me out of the water, and I was having so much fun writing it, I decided to go big or go home. 200,000 words later, I’m getting to slam dunk the movie canon into the garbage where it belongs. I just want the gelfs to live!!!
10. What are some facts readers may not know?
A fun piece of strange trails trivia is I headcanon that Rian & Kylan are cousins. This IS strange trails canon, because I’ve already got my grubby little hands all over this universe, so why not? Neither of them know this, and I don’t have an easy way to confirm it within the actual story (considered it when they were back in Stone-in-the-Wood, but couldn’t make the conversation work) -- who knows, maybe I’ll get there in the post-canon fluffshots. I just like the idea of stoic, stuffy Ordon having this dopey poet brother, who runs off with a Spriton girl. I have more thoughts about this, but I won’t bore you, lololololol. 
EDITED TO ADD: One more fun fact, because why not?? You have already met a character who is going to be very important in the post-canon fluffshots, assuming I write them (I’m writing them, I have already accepted this). There was a tiny hint a few chapters ago, see if you can find them! OH and it’s not someone you saw in a future!vision, so if that’s what you came up with, then guess again!
These asks were all super fun, friends!! I need to do these more often. I’m always thinking about this story & love talking about it & my askbox is always open!!! For now, I should probably get back to work on the next chapter, so I can make you and all the gelfs we love so dearly very, very stressed and sad. D:
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voidmadison · 6 years ago
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Summary: Y/n and Grayson welcome their new baby girl into the world and begin their journey into parenthood, but will Y/n be able to handle her new role as a mother?
Warnings: Kinda angsty?? Anxiety briefly mentioned
A/n: I’ve had this account for ages and I never thought I’d actually post on it but this is the first fic I’ve written that I actually wanted to post so here we go. I was super inspired by @wordsonearth @dolandrabbles @rockstardolan and @castledolan . They’re pretty much the reason why I started writing.This is also lowkey trash so i’ll probs delete it .
This was never her plan. She wasn’t one of those girls who played with baby dolls when she was of five, she never wanted to play moms and dads with her friends, she didn’t even hold a baby until she was seventeen. This was the last thing she thought she’d be doing on the day she turned twenty. She had assumed she’d be getting drunk with her friends or having a nice dinner with her family and loving boyfriend, yet here she was at 4 am on her birthday pushing a human out of her. Her pregnancy had been a shock to everyone of course, but no one was more shocked then y/n herself. Despite her parents being supportive and her boyfriend being thrilled (even though he threw up a bit when she first told him through her sobs), y/n had yet to come to terms with the fact that she was going to be a mom. It just didn’t feel real, the whole nine months felt like a dream.
But the pain she was feeling right now was definitely real. As the midwives were encouraging her to continue pushing, all she was listening to was Grayson’s encouraging words. Grayson was a natural born father and that made y/n feel even more insecure. Y/n believed Grayson deserved to raise his child with someone who was just as good at parenting as him. Even during the pregnancy Grayson always seemed to know everything. Every question she had, he seemed to know the answer. He never worried about being a dad, even at the young age of twenty one. He didn’t even freak out when y/n went into labour a week early because he trusted that the universe had a plan, when y/n just added this to her list of worries. Y/n was consumed by thoughts and worries that she almost forgot where she was and what she was doing, almost.
But then suddenly the pain was over and cries filled the room. The next thing she knew a tiny little human, cleared of the blood and goop (that she really didn’t care to know what is was), was placed on her chest and all she could think to do was sob. It had finally hit her that she had to protect this little person for the rest of their lives.
“Hi sweet girl” she whispered through her sobs “I’m your momma, I love you so much”.
Y/n was so entranced by the big, hazel eyes staring up at her in wonder that she forgot that there was other people around her. One person in particular, whose eyes matched those of the tiny girl in the love of his life's arms, felt like his whole world was spinning. Grayson had never seen something so pure and angelic in his life and he knew he would protect this girl and her mother until the day he died.
When y/n broke out of her trance she looked up to find Grayson with tears rolling down his cheeks and staring at the baby just like he stares at her, his look was full of love.
“Hey” her voice cracking as she spoke, “d’you wanna hold her?”
Grayson nodded his head slowly, but still not looking away from the little girl. Y/n scooted in the bed to make room for Grayson to sit down. Grayson sat cautiously and once he was comfortable, he took the baby in his arms. It was Graysons turn to feel like he was dreaming, it all felt so surreal. He’s a sophomore in college, his biggest worry should be his finals or the football game he has on Saturday but here he was worrying about supporting his new, little family and keeping his girls safe.
When he met y/n in his junior year of highschool he knew that he was going to love her forever. From the beginning of their relationship, Grayson was constantly talking about their future together and kids were always a part of that future. Sure, it might have happened a bit earlier than planned, but it still happened and that’s what was important to Grayson. The little girl is smaller than he expected, weighing only around five and a half pounds. She has a head full of dark and big, doe eyes that very much resemble his own, but there was something about her that reminded him so much of her mother. He wasn’t quite sure what it was but he knew she would be her mother's twin.
This was their life now, whether they were ready or not.
“God, we’re such idiots”, Y/n spoke, chuckling softly, ”how’re we gonna do this, huh?”
She tried to sound relaxed, but deep down she couldn’t help but feel like this wouldn’t work out.
“We’ll be okay”
Two weeks later…
It definitely felt real for y/n now. She hasn’t slept since they left the hospital, to return to their tiny apartment and really begin their new life as parents. It was safe to say that Grayson was handling the change better than y/n. The constant crying and screaming rattling through the cramped apartment made y/n feel like she was sophicating. She hasn’t spoken to anyone other than Grayson since their family and friends had visited them in the hospital. She has a constant headache and has felt unbelievable anxious 24/7.
Grayson was trying his best to help her. He could see she was almost at a breaking point and it hurt him to see her in such an anxious and distressed state. But there was only so much he could do. He hates having to wake her during the night whenever Lilia was hungry, but unfortunately feeding her was the one thing he couldn’t do. He knew she was trying to stay strong but one day she just couldn’t take it anymore.
Grayson came home from his last class of the day, tired and dreaming of cuddling up with his two girls in bed and watching old friends reruns on tv. He opened the door expecting to see his love sitting on the couch or tidying the kitchen, however, he was surprised to find that she wasn’t there.
“Babe?” He called as he placed his keys on the table, looking around the kitchen and tv area, “baby, you there?”
As he walked towards their shared room, he could hear sniffling and y/n’s quiet whispers along with Lilia’s cries. When he opened the door he was met with a sight that broke his heart. There was y/n, a screaming Lilia tucked against her chest, as she sobbed quietly whispering to Lilia.
“Y/n, honey, are you okay?”, Grayson asked quietly as he entered their room, where all this began a little over nine months ago. Her eyes snapped up to meet his and the tears began flowing at a more rapid pace.
“I don’t know what to do Gray”, she blubbered,” I don’t know how to make her stop, why won’t she stop?”
Grayson rushed over to her and took Lilia in his arms. He held her tightly against his chest and softly shushed her as he rocked slightly. Her wails immediately quieten and soon she was fast asleep on his chest. Y/n watched in awe at how easy it was for Grayson in comparison to her. Grayson slipped out of the room to place Lili in her crib and he returned to find y/n crying silently with her knees tucked into her chest. Grayson sat down next to her and pulled her onto his lap, holding her securely. They sat there for a long time until he heard y/n begin to talk.
“I don’t think I can do this Gray”, she sniffled, ”I don’t know what she needs when she cries, I can’t even calm her down on my own. You're so good at this, meanwhile I’m slowly drowning. I don’t think I was meant to be a mother, Gray”
“Hey hey hey, don’t say that”, Grayson felt his heart shatter into a million pieces hearing y/n talk like this, ”No new parent knows what they’re doing, everyone is just making it up as they go along. It’s gonna be fine. We’ll do this together, hand in hand, okay?”
Y/n looked up at him, in disbelief that she had such an angel in her life. She was forever grateful that he had run smack into her on her first day of junior year. She smiled softly as he wiped away her tears. She took his face in her hands and kissed him delicately, still feeling the fireworks that she felt the first time he had kissed her, as they sat on the roof of his jersey home.
“Okay”
Six months later…
The last six months had been tough but they have been the best six months of y/n’s life. She finally felt like a mother and baby Lilia was her entire world. Y/n and Grayson are more in love than ever and it finally felt real. Neither of them felt like they were dreaming because thèy knew this was their reality and they couldn’t be happier.
Grayson came home from a quick trip to the grocery store to the sweet sound of baby giggles coming from the bathroom. He peeked his head in the door and the sight before him made him feel like his heart was going to explode. Y/n was sitting next to the tub, where a shrieking Lilia was sat covered in suds. Y/n was chuckling along with Lilia and Grayson could see the love that she had for the young girl. He was so proud of y/n for overcoming her worries and being the best mother to his little girl. He knew that this was the perfect time to ask y/n the question he’d been dying to ask her for years. When y/n beckoned him to come sit next to her, he happily obliged.
“Hey babe?” he asked, as he watched Lilia play with his fingers, “d’you wanna get married?”
He had said the words so casually that it took a minute for them to register in her head but when they did Y/n felt as if she had been hit by a wrecking ball. Her eyes welled up with tears and she felt like she couldn’t breathe.
“Grayson, are you serious”, she spoke as loudly as her choked up throat would allow her. She watched in disbelief as Grayson pulled a velvet box out of his pocket and popped it open to reveal a sparkling diamond ring.
“We’re already a family, let’s just make it official” he breathed. He didn’t know why he was nervous, he knew she was going to say yes. But everything y/n did made him nervous, it’s just the effect  she has on him
“okay”
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courtanie · 8 years ago
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Hi Courtanie! I've recently become a HUGE fan of your works (a big ol' K2/Cryle fan here :')), and recently, I've been wanting to write my first story ever (which is a Cryle fic) but it'll be my first time posting on AO3 ever, and I'm kind of nervous cause I don't have a knack in storywriting and I'm worried the story won't be interesting/grammar error etc etc T.T
Okay attempt number two because my phone goddamn hates me apparently
Hello!
Okay so everyone is nervous their first time posting. And honestly, that’s something that continues if you’re any amount of passionate about what you’re doing. I still get nervous and I’ve been doing this malarkey for eight years. I know it’s kinda daunting to put yourself out there, but taking that first step is so relieving and rewarding once you finally do it. Cryle actually has a pretty talkative fanbase for the most part which was really surprising to me when I was writing ‘To Have and to Hold’. I was not expecting that much of a response at all, and my current cryle fic plus the others I’ve seen being put out by fellow authors usually (not always but usually) have a few comments and support behind them and whatnot. Cryle fans are surprisingly supportive for being such a lowkey pairing so you’re starting with a great foundation.
As for the fears of your grammar, seriously, do not sweat it too much. Just from your ask alone I can tell you you’re gonna be coherent which is a lot more than can be said for a lot of new people comin’ in so that’s a great plus. And the fact that it’s something you’re worried about is actually fantastic. It means you’re gonna put your all into this and trust me, readers can tell when you do that which elicits a much more positive response than people that slap down a few words because they wanna get in on the attention side of the fandom that isn’t too common for authors if we’re being completely honest here. Honestly, being worried about how well you write something is a huge part of success, you’re gonna do just fine. And yeah, you’re gonna have a sprinkling of grammatical errors. We ALL do. Even the most dedicated of self-editors will miss things. But they’re rarely noticeable, and if they are, they rarely take from the story, so don’t freak out over that. And if you’re still super duper worried, there’s always the option of gettin’ a beta so a fresh set of eyes can look over it before you post it and help you with things you may have missed.
Okay and most importantly, you say you’re afraid that you have a lack of storywriting talent and it won’t be interesting. Your worst critic is yourself. Always. You could just as well be a natural in crafting a tale! You’re never going to know that, though. You only learn that through people telling you (and then you squint at the screen and don’t believe them and can’t understand why they’re enjoying what you consider to be half-assed tripe you spewed out at three a.m. it’s a vicious cycle). Personally, I’ve started convincing myself that if a story is interesting enough to keep me working on it, then it’s gonna be interesting for readers, too. I doubt my methodology works for everyone, but I totally understand where you’re coming from! I’m a mess of both tropes and way-too-convoluted plots, but I always seem to think I’m nothing but cliches. Reading reviews, though, that doesn’t seem to be the case. It’s taken a long-ass time to believe anyone telling me otherwise, but eventually you do get to a point where you realize that your stories are always gonna be interesting to someone. And every story is different. I harp and groan about certain elements of pairings that reuse the same storyline of how they get together, but even with elements being the same, the stories are always different. The tone, the style, everything is different. You hand thirty people a basic plot synopsis and tell them to write it and you’re gonna have thirty unique stories. Trust me, you’re gonna be interesting, and your story is gonna stand out to at least someone.
Dude, you’re gonna do great, I promise. This fandom is actually pretty nice to newcomer writers which is lovely. There’s a lot of support lingering around. And the first step to getting awesome at something is taking that first leap. I super promise, it’s totally worth it, and you’ll find yourself drowning in ideas that you can’t keep up with before you know it. Good luck, you’re gonna do awesome!
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