Let me love you; Lamina
Paring: Lamina x fem reader
Words: 13.4k
Summary: Lamina is trying to get you to freely love her without being afraid of what others think, set in District 7 before the hunger games
Warnings: internalized homophobia, emotionally abusive mother, ooc lamina cuz we didn't get to see or read much about her before the game's so I wrote her how I thought she might act so um... my bad, but I like confidentish lamina, and this is a more poetry kind of work, so be warned poetry.
You and your mother had another fight again for what seemed like the hundredth time because of your feelings for lamina your friend that’s a girl because you’re a girl as well and girls aren’t supposed to want to kiss or even marry other girls but you do. Which has only caused you and your mothers screaming matches to get worse.
You stared at your mother with as much disgust as you could at her rambling about how she could have birthed such a disgusting little girl before storming out of the house leaving your mother to run after you onto the porch of your wood house screaming for her ungrateful daughter to get back in that house at once but you didn’t. You kept walking down the dirt pathway that you knew so well towards the woods to just get away from everything.
You walked into the woods that you used to play in with lamina when you both where twelve years old and had a whole hell lot of free time to just be kids. You kept walking until you saw the familiar old tree that was thicker than the rest of them, the tree you used to climb to get away from everyone until lamina found it and would come and sit outside in the cold with you for hours until you felt better. You looked at it for a moment before starting to climb it, it took a minute as you wanted to get to the highest branch you could and sat on the tree branch looking at the scenery In front of you admiring how everything always looked better when you where sat in a tree.
Everything was so very quiet until you heard the crunching of a leaf and the snapping of twigs on the ground scaring you out of your staring almost making you lose balance on the thick branch you where sat on your head almost snapping down to see what was making the noises. You where quiet upset until you saw red hair that was almost styled in a victory roll immediately knowing just from the rose red hair that the person walking towards the tree you where sat in was lamina your friend since she asked for your name a few years ago.
Loved her for years even though I knew it was wrong, I’ve loved her with my entire being and soul.
Yes of course you knew logically and well according to your mother morally that these feelings you have for lamina was wrong and disgusting, and yes your mother has engraved that notion into your skull but you for the life of you, you just can’t help but think lamina was pretty. A pretty girl, a girl. But before you could think more about your horrid feelings for lamina you heard laminas voice yell your name.
“I knew I’d find you here.. you always did like the view from up here huh y/n?” She spoke or rather yelled as she stared up at you for a minute too long catching your eyes as you let out a small snort covering your mouth after making lamina smile a bit.
“yeah yeah just get up here lamina!” you said with a small smirk as you watched the lamina with a small smile cheeks a bit red from her staring. The girl walked up to the tree to climb up it and sit with you as she usually did on warm days like this. Lamina didn’t need to say anything as you already knew what she was doing instinctively you scooted over on the branch making room for her to sit next to you comfortably.
You watched as she climbed the tree with grace the sun hitting her just right making her red hair look like fire and her skin practically glowing in the sun making your heart ache in your chest and your face flush slightly as you looked away now diverting your gaze to your fingers that you’ve been picking at for years the skin torn on some parts, scabs on pieces of the torn skin.. your fingers so unbearably ugly to anyone who has seen them not hands that little girls your age should be looking like.
You hadn’t noticed that lamina had already sat beside you until you felt someone’s rough hand grab your own intertwining them together giving your hand a light squeeze, your eyes darted over to lamina as she gave you a soft smile bringing your hand up to her slightly chapped lips kissing the back of your hand making your cheeks warm and your lips tug upwards but soon your face fell remembering that you and her weren’t normal. You quickly pulled your hand away like her touch burned as you frowned forcing your gaze away from her as you spoke quickly.
“Lamina, we talked about this you know we can’t do this-“ Lamina cut you off mid rant as she rolled her eyes biting her bottom lip out of frustration why wouldn’t you just stop caring about what others thought and let her just love you freely without always pushing her away.
“Stop being scared of what others might think.. I was too but y/n we have something that people would bleed for something some are still looking for to this day! I need you to not be afraid to let me love you.. I would stand with you till the day I take my last breath.” Lamina proclaimed as she grabbed your hand again looking at you with such passion in her now glossy dark eyes as you just sat there stunned, you looked at her with wide eyes as she held onto your hands with tears that were threatening to spill down her rosy cheeks as she had almost pleaded with you to just stop hiding this relationship from everyone and love her freely without fear any signs of her previously smiling face was gone now replaced with a frown.
You finally mustered up the courage to look at lamina, looking into her dark eyes your face now a deep shade of red from how she spoke with such passion it made your head hurt from thinking so much as you opened your mouth but closed it again not knowing what to say to lamina, it always ended like this her pleading for you to not be scared and you running away like the coward you are that’s what you’ve always done haven’t you.. just running away from all your problems and who says you’d stop here.
You stared into laminas eyes noticing how you’ve torn this girl down to her core staring at you with so much emotion that it made you sick you wanted to tell her that you loved her too but you just couldn’t. In that moment all you could think of where your mothers harsh words, her screams of frustration of why you couldn’t just like boys like a normal girl does her cries as she prayed for God to fix her only daughter…
It was all becoming too much for you to handle your breathing became erratic, Lamina was staring at you with concern she was speaking but you couldn’t seem to hear her or anything. Lamina reached out for your face hands just barely grazing your cheek it all became just too much for you as you felt her fingertips against your now very hot skin.
“I’m sorry I just- I just can’t lamina I’m so sorry” You whispered under your breath as you leaned away from her eyes looking away down at the ground than back at her than again at the ground breathing heavy as you felt deep guilt for making lamina so sad all the time.. all you ever did was make her cry and chase after you but you truly couldn’t handle this right now.
So you ran away like you always did when things got too complicated.
You jumped off of the tree branch as quickly as you could scrapping your hands up as you landed on the floor but you just got back up and ran away like the coward you are as lamina watched you disappear into the dark forest. She let out a shaky sigh looking down at her hands, her bottom lip wobbling.
She knew she would wait till the end of time for you, no matter how many times you made her cry she couldn’t force herself to love another person even when you made her want to pull every strand of hair out of her head whilst simultaneously screaming at you for being so stubborn.
Even through everything her heart was yours and yours alone. Your all she wanted but couldn’t seem to catch. Lamina finally let herself cry.
Her sobs loud as she sat leant against the tree and just broken down from yet again failed attempt to get you to just allow her to love you, though she knew it was your mother’s fault that wretched women put things into your head making you feel like a freak for loving Lamina a girl instead of a boy.
The next day started out as the first one did for you, running away from your house into the woods as your mother screamed and ran after you until she enviable gave up at the porch again, cursing under her breath as she walked home.
You’d passed by Treech on your now jog to the woods you both gave a nod to each other as you jogged into the woods. You knew treech from working at your father’s lumber yard since Treech would come in and sell the wood he cut down a boy of few words but admirable still.
You had jogged back to your normal spot in the woods the big tree you’d climb everyday to cool off after a argument with your mother, but when you walked closer to the large tree you saw Lamina leaning against the tree.
You slowly walked towards the tree your eyes never left hers as you stopped in front of the tree she was sitting on. Nervousness from the events of yesterday were all coming back to you making, you want to run away once again from your feelings.
Once your eyes met Lamina's your heart started to thump in your chest from both anxiety and solicitude from the girl. Your palms started sweating as you stiffened under her gaze.
As you stared up at Lamina where she was sitting on that branch. The same branch you left her at. You tore your eyes away from the girl, you couldn’t bare the almost devastated look in her eyes. You always hated that look you now of days saw. Which of course was your fault. When was it not?
“Y/n?” Lamina spoke softly, her voice full of concern as she looked down at you. Shifting to the edge of the branch, ready to either climb down the branch or jump down. Whichever came first.
You felt frozen as you heard Lamina’s voice. You wanted to say something, but you felt your own throat tighten and your mouth felt dry. And it felt hard to breath for some reason. Time felt slow and too fast at the same time! As you stared.
Like you were on autopilot you turned you back on her to run off like the pathetic coward you are. Before you could even start to run, Lamina jumped down from the branch she sat on.
Lamina fell to the ground but quickly got up as she grabbed onto your hand to keep you from running away, a desperate expression on her face.
“Y/n, please. Don’t run away again.” Lamina almost pleaded as she stared at you with those eyes big puffy red eyes, making you gulp harshly before looking away from her intense gaze as she spoke again she sounded more confident when she spoke.
“Look y/n I have loved you since the day I met you at your father’s lumber yard when you where working the counter.. you where so pretty and I know you feel the same about me aswell, so why wont you be mine” Lamina almost sobbed out as she broke out into tears once again, her hand left your hand in favor of holding your face that was now a deep maroon color she let out a shaky breath through those chapped lips breath hitting your face as your noses almost touching from how close you both are now.
Your eyes flickered from her lips to her eyes.
“lamina I was always yours” You said so softly more like a whisper giving lamina a wobbly smile as you let yourself break down in front of lamina your silent sobs being seen as you left yourself rest in her hands the only things that were holding you up now closing your eyes as you did.
you never where a pretty crier, but it was alright as lamina wasn’t either.
It took a while for you two to stop sobbing, your tears had stopped after a few minutes but laminas tears where still there silently flowing down her pale cheeks. You opened your now puffy eyes to see laminas staring at you with adoration that was reserved for only you.
You placed your hands ontop of laminas that where holding your face so very delicately as your eyes once again flickered from her eyes to her chapped lips up to her eyes again and lamina did the same with a small smile on her face making you look away as a sudden wave of nervousness washed over you the minute you saw her smile.
“I love you y/n” lamina whispered and she only smiled more when she saw your face deepen a shad of red Shed never seen before.
You turned to face her again as you let yourself smile too before leaning closer to her noses now touching as you breathed out slowly “I love you too lamina” you breathed out as you leaned forward and gave her a small peck on the lips her lips where rough but that didn’t make that quick little peck any less great. You pulled away just as quick as you leaned in.
You stared at lamina seeing her shocked expression making you break out into a big smile. “I love you so dearly lamina” you whispered out as you leaned forward again kissing her again but lamina reacted quicker this time reciprocating the kiss, it wasn’t heated nor was it rushed it was slow but quick it was perfect.
Lamina pulled away first a smile blooming on her face that made your heart skip a beat. Lamina after a moment if silence leaned forward letting her four head rest against yours, you let out a small laugh at this feeling at peace with lamina here in the deep depths of the woods. It was just you and lamina just how it had always been, you and lamina.
“promise to marry me” You breathed out as you closed your eyes lamina let out a breathy laugh at that as she replied back soon after.
“promise” Lamina replied.
Okay, I wasn't expecting this to be so long. Sorry if lamina is WAY too ooc for your liking we didn't get to read/see much of her personality at all in the books and in the movie so I kinda just went off of a few scenes where she seemed more confident and less scared but tried to still keep the more scared lamina there I hope yall don't get too mad at me😭
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