#bc girl help i am being presented with the threat of being homeless if i cant find one in time or worse going to my parents

[toxooz]

me having to look for another place to live bc im Making Too Much to live in my low income apts now

[blahblahwritings]

I’m Here

A/N: I haven’t had many ideas for writing lately so I’m sorry these are so rare. I need requests so feel free to send some in, I do write reader x female character bc I am in love with the women of the MCU c:

Warnings: Panic attack, mentions of abandonment and homelessness. I think that’s all...

Words: 1625

As of late, your life had been spiralling out of control. Your friends had been leaving you behind or grew tired of you so you never left your house anymore, especially since you just recently lost your job as a musician at the local bar. The lack of said job then lead to an angry letter from your landlord about how behind you were on rent, filled with threats of homelessness and repossession. You barely had enough money to survive. Everything had been slipping through your fingers and you had given up trying to stop it. You felt hopeless like nothing mattered and everything was against you. The only constant thing in your life was Bucky.

It was a cold, rainy Monday morning when a letter came through your door. It was from the landlord. You could tell by the hastily scrawled ‘Miss Y/L/N” and the small rip in the envelope where the pen had poked through because of how hard he pressed the pen to the paper. It was obvious he was still furious and it just added to the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. So many emotions were running through you at that moment; anxiety, anguish, despair just to name a few. Somehow, even though all these feelings were making you sick, you felt hollow, like you were numb. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you were screaming and shaking and crying but nothing was actually happening. You just stared at the torn envelope in your small hands before opening it.

Your eyes scanned over the messy scribbles, once, twice and then again just to ensure that what it said was real. He was kicking you out this Wednesday. You weren’t surprised because you had been waiting for this letter for almost a month. It was inevitable and you let out a dejected sigh, letting the thin piece of paper fall to the floor. The rest of your day was spent ignoring everything by either sleeping or staring at the ceiling.

On the Tuesday morning, after fourteen hours of sleep, you stood with an empty suitcase at your feet, your eyes glassy and unfocused as they looked past the clothes in your closet. You couldn’t bring yourself to move or start packing so you just continued to zone out even though your mind was blank. It was as if your brain hadn’t fully processed or accepted what had happened or the gravity of your situation. Then your ringtone sounded from the pocket of your sweatpants. Taking the device into your hand, you glanced at the picture on the screen. It was Bucky.

That’s when everything hit you like a freight car. The realisation that you hadn’t told him yet caused your mind to race with questions. How would he react? Would he leave you too? Would he be angry? What will happen? Your hands started to shake as the phone continued to ring. The uncertainty of your future made your chest tighten and tears stream down your face. You were having a panic attack. Do you answer? How could you when you could barely catch your breath? He would probably just abandon you like everyone else after seeing you like this, after realising you were a lost cause. Strangled cries escaped past your lips between raspy breaths as the phone fell to the floor, your legs buckling and your body quickly following.

A familiar voice chimed from somewhere next to you but you were too focused on the fact that as of tomorrow, you would be homeless. Uneven gasps for air was all that Bucky could hear on his end of the call. He knew those sounds all too well from when he would have a nightmare, he knew you were having an anxiety attack. Swiftly, Bucky threw on his heavy plaid jacket and ran out of the building, sprinting down streets and alleyways towards your apartment. With the phone still at his ear, he continued to talk to you, desperately trying to calm you but it wasn’t working. You could barely hear his voice as the ringing in your ears took over, your vision was blurred with salty tears as your hands scraped at the floorboards beneath you. Your world was collapsing around you and you could barely cling onto reality. The only person that could help ground you was going to desert you and thinking about that wasn’t helping you to breathe.

Your head proceeded to spin as Bucky climbed the stairs of your building three at a time. The phone call obviously wasn’t helping and so he had shoved the small device into one of his many pockets and used both hands to launch himself up the steps instead. Once on the fourth floor, he practically broke down your front door, eyes frantically flicking around your apartment in search of you. Upon entering your bedroom, he found you bawling and panting on your floor, struggling to keep yourself upright.

His immediate reaction was to drop to his knees beside you and gently grab your face with his flesh hand. He lifted your face to look at him, trying to give you something to focus on but you only grew more frantic. Moving behind you, he pulled you back into his chest and whispered words of encouragement in your ears, steadily rocking you back and forth. When he had panic attacks you would talk him through a grounding exercise, distracting him in the process and slowly bringing him down. So that’s what he started to do.

“Y/N, doll, listen to me, I need you to tell me five things you can see, alright? The first five things you see darlin’ come on” He began. His vibranium hand found one of yours and quickly laced your fingers together, the contrast of your burning skin against the cool metal of his prosthetic shocked you and snapped you back to the present.

“I-I can’t, I -” You stuttered, desperately trying to bring more air into your stinging lungs.

“Of course you can, doll just any five things, sweetheart” he replied. The soft skin of his lips found your shoulder, peppering small kisses up and down your neck in an attempt to distract you. Your mind started to concentrate on the feeling of him touching you, and your eyes darted around as you listed five things around you.

“Good, you’re doing great, now I need you to tell me four things you can feel, it’ alright, I’m here” He cooed, coaxing you into following the exercise.

“Your metal arm, yo-your lips, the f-floor and my slippers” Your voice croaked. Your breathing had started to deepen already as you tried to centre your attention solely on Bucky as he talked you through your panic attack. Walking you through the next three steps, he noticed how your breathing slowed to long inhales through your nose and exhales through your mouth. The metal fingers of his hand moved in slow circles over your own, soothing you.

“Sh sh shhh, everything is going to be fine, don’t worry, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I love you, Y/N” Your body had slumped against him in exhaustion and he carefully lifted you bridal-style so he could move you to the bed. It had taken you just over fifteen minutes to come out of it but to you, it felt like a lifetime. Bucky placed you under the covers and quickly shrugged off his jacket before joining you, enveloping you in his embrace.

“So do you want to talk about what set this off?” You were about to shake your head in fear of him getting angry but you knew you had to at some point. Hell, tomorrow he would definitely find out because you’d be on the streets. Letting out a large sigh you buried your face in his toned chest, deciding to just spit it out.

“I lost my job, all my friends hate me and I’m being kicked out tomorrow. I don’t know what to do anymore and I’m so so sorry, please don’t leave me.” You mumbled, eyes filling with unshed tears once again. Confusion and pity swirled around the man’s brain at your statement. His arms came up to your face so you could look into his eyes.

“Hey hey hey, doll, you don’t have to be sorry for anything, none of that is your fault and I sure as heck ain’t gonna leave my best girl. You can stay with me at my place, it’s no trouble at all.” Your boyfriend reassured.

“No I can’t it’s too much to ask, I-” you would have kept going but he cut you off.

“Sweetheart, we’ve been together for just over two years now, I was going to ask you to move in with me a while back but then that mission came up so I got distracted. You’re staying with me, I don’t care what you say because I love you and I wouldn’t dare leave you to be without a roof over your head, you just should’ve told me sooner.” He crooned, stroking your cheek with a sheepish smile on his face but you could tell from the look in his eyes that you didn’t have a choice, he was serious about this. With a nod, you blinked away the tears as he kissed your forehead, then your cheeks and then placed a slow yet desperate kiss on your lips which you gratefully returned. When you parted, you both looked into each other’s eyes, a silent conversation passing between you before sitting up and stretching.

The rest of the day was spent packing up your apartment together as he ordered Chinese takeout. Everything was going to be okay.