#i have never automated anything in my life except for the spots for phone glasses and keys and now that I've accepted that i can spin it

[pinehutch]

Epiphany: the impulse to order takeout the night after going grocery shopping isn't because I'm a piece of shit! (It's because I have already made and executed plans about food and forgot to leave room for planning immediate food - and also, now there are more choices, because of the groceries, which makes it harder to choose, which makes me want to go off-book and order A Little Treat.)

1. Realizing this means I now have permission to literally just eat whatever's in the kitchen for dinner - it doesn't have to be a multi-course cooked meal

2. How the fuck did I get to 40 without being screened for adhd

[thefanficmistress]

Because, I Love You: Requested ☆

Requested by @deepestfirefun - I love you soooooo damn much. My soul sister across the pond.  Requested: You have broken up with your fiancé because you found out he was a total womanizer and it was quite the nasty break up too. You left your apartment, only took what you needed without looking back. Richard, your good friend heard about it while he was filming the Ocean´s 8 and without a second thought took you under his wings. You were an utter mess emotionally but spending time with Richard started to heal your wounded heart although you didn´t feel like trusting men ever again, except for Richard. He was furious to your ex-fiancé when he learned what had happened, he had been always very caring and protective of you. And while Richard did everything to make you feel better, you started to wonder if it had been Richard all along who you should have started a relationship with.

Warnings: Fluff, Swearing, Smut Pairing: Richard Armitage x Reader, Richard Armitage x Female Character, Richard Armitage x OC Context © me _______________ TAG LIST: @deepestfirefun​ @shikin83​ @catthefearless​ @patanghill17​ @aelinninielelain​ @xxbyimm​ @nowiloveandwilllove​ @nellindreams​ @hails270105​ @armitages-gisborne​ @jassy2101​ @abiwim​ @anemiechen​ @nelswp​ @vaneaustation @fizzyxcustard @purplerain85 @armitageadoration @princecami @princess-of-erebor1992 @leah-halliwell92 @vaneaustin @nelswp @nellindreams @raindrops-on-roses142  Please let me know if you would like to be tagged. 

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Current Requests: JANUARY - Closed @purplerain85 ( A Kiss in the Wild ) - RA Request : Release 1/6/2019 @deepestfirefun ( Because I love you ) - RA Request - Release date : 1/13/2019 @nowiloveandwilllove ( My Friend, My Beloved ) - RA Request - Release date: 1/20/2019 @deepestfirefun  ( WORKING TITLE ) RA Request - Release Date :1/27/2019

Current Requests: FEBRUARY - OPEN

2/3/2019  - @purplerain85 (  WORKING TITLE ) - RA Request 2/10/2019 - @deepestfirefun  ( WORKING TITLE ) - RA Request 2/17/2019 - Open 2/24/2019 - Open

Message me if you would like a FanFic Sunday Request. ________________ “What did you just say?” You questioned, almost dropping your phone in your lap. “Move in with me. At least until you get back on your feet.” He proposed. “I can’t ask you to do that. Not for me!” You exclaimed. “Yes you can! I’m offering. Happily, might I add.” Richard cooed on the other side of the phone, with a hint of a smile in his tone.  Sitting in your car, with your hand on the steering wheel, you thumbed your thumb against the leather coating. You thought about his offer. He lived only a few minutes from your office, near central park, and the best thing was, he would be there. He was currently out of town but assured you that he would be back in a few days to continue filming Ocean’s 8 and he would make sure to take you out to get your mind off of things. After a break up, it’s best to be around family and friends. Richard was definitely a great friend to be around. He’s kind, and generous, a bit of goofball, but he always found a way to make things up to you or put a smile on your face.  “I haven’t seen you in months, and I hate to tell you this, but I’m not taking no for an answer.” He added. “Richard, I honestly can’t do this. I need to be by myself.” “I’m not going to let that happen. I’m rather vexed at the entire matter, and if he shows up, I will have him thrown out or arrested.” His voice went very deep. A side of him you hadn’t heard before. Was that protection and anger in his voice? He wasn’t lying. Since you started dating Ethan, Richard and you had a hard time seeing each other. He was always out of town or too busy to actually spend proper time; he did however meet you for those 1-2 hr lunches before leaving or sent presents to you loft to apologize for not being able to make it. Also, to make matters worse, despite the fact that Richard was always so kind, and polite to your fiancée, Ethan didn’t like Richard. It showed in how possessive he was, not allowing Richard to be alone with you, be next to you, or even on the phone with you for a long period of time. Maybe Ethan could sense that under your guise as a friend, you did have feelings for Richard. You at one point convinced yourself that you were in love with him, and you needed to tell him. But with his schedule, you saw how difficult it was, and then realized it’s you. Richard wouldn’t be into you when he had many women around him. You had to back off in order to try to make the new relationship work. So, you put a lid on your feelings and said nothing. You were friends. Just friends. Ethan on the other hand… “Where are you right now?” He asked. “Siting in my car outside of The Hyatt.” You replied looking around at your surroundings. The Hyatt was a stunningly. Beautiful hotel in New York, and you were outside at the valet parking deciding on if you should go in or not. The streets were still busy for 3am, but it was The Big Apple, and this place never sleeps. It had rained earlier, and the streets glistened with the glow and flickering of the traffic lights. Restaurants and bars still open along the strip, and people gathered hand in hand walking and laughing. You wish you could laugh, but Ethan stole that from you months ago, and now you sit here alone, in your car in your flat shoes, and night gown. You had to pack a bag with enough clothes to last you a few days. Ethan was leaving for Hong Kong for work, and that would be the best time to get your belongings, and never see him again.  “Please don’t sleep there, just go to my penthouse, we will figure out the rest.” He insisted. You knew that doing this, moving in with Richard, no matter how long you would be there, would piss Ethan off. And you honestly wanted to hurt him. Maybe not the same way he hurt you, but still hurt him nonetheless. “Are you sure about this?” “Very.” “Okay!” You conceded, “Thank you.” “Anything for you dove.” “Anything?” You sang sweetly, with hit of a smile on your face. “Absolutely anything.” He gushed over the phone.  You pulled at a piece of thread on your nightgown, and blushed hard. Even from thousands of miles away, he knew how to make you swoon with just his voice and words. If he was in front of you and said that, it would have taken the force of an army to hold you back from kissing him. The way those words came out of his mouth stirred something inside of you that hadn’t been touched in months, but you could focus on that right now. You needed to get out of this car.  “Head on over, I’ll call ahead, and make sure everything is taken care of.” “Thank you again, Richard.” “No need to thank me. I need you safe, and sound in our flat. I’ll see you in a few days, yeh?” He stated. “Yea ok. You said your goodbyes and headed over to his flat. After pulling into the Richards visitor spot under his flat building, you gather your things, and end upstairs to the 21st floor. Once you exit the elevator you are thrown off by the very large gift basket sitting in front of the door. You put your bag down and kneel to read the note left on top.  *** To: The most beautiful woman in the world. From: The luckiest man in the world to have you in his life <3 Get some rest and enjoy the basket. You deserve it, and if I have to, I will send you more to keep a smile on your face until I get there. Yours always, Richard *** You smiled so hard, and pulled the note to your chest for a moment, as if you wanted to absorb the words into your very heart. You see another little baggy with the keycode to get into his flat, and you make your way in taking the bag and basket inside. 

You flick on the light upon entering the foyer, a grand entertaining gallery opens into a living room and formal dining room with raised ceilings, accentuated by a dramatic glass skylight. You decided to look around the penthouse to get used to the surroundings. The room has been decorated to the highest standards with custom doors, wood-work cabinetry, and beveled glass to enhance the breathtaking views. A custom-carved stairway, wood-paneled elevator, beautifully-appointed powder room, and spacious closets are located just off the gallery. Adjacent to the formal dining room and located along Central Park is a tastefully designed eat-in kitchen with top-of-the-line appliances.

The 21st floor featured a luxurious master suite with a fireplace, terrace, and large sitting room. A magnificent master bathroom with bookmarked slabs of marble, two showers, two private water closets and two separate vanity sinks complete this space. The suite also included multiple fitted closets and a whimsical loggia with a wet bar along the terrace. Two additional south-facing bedrooms, two redesigned en-suite baths, an elegant study with terrace access and an automated Crestron system for lighting, shades and music. The 21st floor included a service entrance which you came in through seeing that Richard had the key to the main entrance elevator.  “No wonder he doesn’t go out. He has everything he needs here.” You said to yourself, as you made your way back to the door to gather your things. You walked into the master bedroom and placed the basket on the bed. You finally opened the clear wrapping and started to pull out each item. Bath bombs, candles, wine, scented lotions, and oils. There was a silken pink night gown, with matching sleeping mask. Then a box of assorted chocolates, and your favorite box of perfume.  A little while later, after a hot shower, and two glasses of wine, you climb into Richards bed, and cover yourself with the thick black blanket. Your phone buzzed, and you picked it up to see that Richard sent you a photo and text. he sent you a gif of his face smiling, and blowing you a kiss, then saying goodnight. You send him a text back saying goodnight and thanking him again before you placed it back on the nightstand. As you fell asleep your mind thought of pleasant things. Such as now being able to start your life over without Ethan. Perhaps with someone great. Someone like Richard.  “Why am I not with you?” Was the last words that slipped from your lips before passing out. _____ See, this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. You were supposed to find a guy, fall in love, get married, have children and live out your lives together. Old, holding hands and maybe, just maybe dying together in your sleep. But your life didn’t work out so luck that way. Time after time you had to fight for what you wanted, and when you thought you had it, life kicked you down again. Here you sat on the cold tile floor in the bathroom, in the dark holding your fiancés phone.  The painful reality that he wasn’t who you thought. Your jaw clinched, the burning in your eyes began, and you turned the phone on. You had to know. You read every single one of the texts that he sent them. Every detail about what he wanted to do to them, and what he wanted them to do to him. How he couldn’t stop thinking of them, and how they were the only thing he ever wanted. He even said I love you to a few of them. They begged for him to dump you, and he said that he would, but he was waiting for the right time. He couldn’t even bother changing up his texts, they were the same lines, repeatedly. The same dick pics and fantasy. The only thing that seemed to change was the location to meet them for dinner, or the hotel room he would rent out for the day for his “Client Meetings”   You turned the phone off and gripped your chest, right at your heart. You dug your nails into your skin until it hurt, but it would never compare to the pain you felt that spread through your body like a raging fire. It scorched every nerve in your body, and you began to shake. Your eyes burned and when you could hold on no longer you let out a scream that could have cracked glass, and you threw his phone against the wall. It shattered.  Once that first tear broke free, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. You bent forward, pressed your palms to the floor, you began to cry with the force of a person vomiting on all fours.

You heard footsteps running up to the door.

“(y/n) are you ok? What was that noise?” A male voice said on the other side. “Just go away” you said, the words slipping from your lips so softly that only you could have heard it, but you secretly wish he did. You continued to cry, your fingers digging into the black cloth of the bathmat. You felt sick to your stomach. The ache in your heart was too much to bare. “(y/n) answer me!! What is going on? I am beginning to worry!” The voice said again, wiggling the door knob a few times. “Go the fuck away!” You managed to raise your head up and yelled. “Just leave, get out! I don’t want you here anymore!” You turned your body to the toilet now, lifting the lid, and prepared yourself for what was about to come up. “(y/n) What?! What are you talking about? “He yelled back, banging on the door.  “Open up! What happened?” he pressed again, his voice very concerned and urgently searching for a reason why you would react this way. “I hate you.” You said softly into the toilet. You shook your head because you knew you had to throw up, and the rage that was building in your gut was making its way to your chest. The kind of rage that was instant and all you needed was the final push. The door knob started to shake violently, and then the door started to bang as if something was being pushed against it. With a loud BANG the door was forcefully opened, and Ethan came stumbling in, the wall across from the door catching him. He looked around the bathroom and saw his phone on the ground, and then looked up at you. “What is going on? It’s 4 o’clock in the morning, and you’re screaming.” He said as he bent down and picked up his phone examining the broken pieces. “I had work and clients on here, and you break it?” “Right! Work and clients “You quoted with your fingers. “I am sure your clients needed a picture of your fucking dick for their legal troubles. I guess you’re a full-service kind of lawyer. “you proclaimed, as you rose to your feet. You took a few steps closer to him. His face went completely white and he swallowed hard. His eyes shifted over to the right of you unable to look in your eyes and there it was. The shame or was it guilt. Either way he knew that this was it for him. “(Y/N)” He started, but you cut him off. “Who is Emily?” You shoved him back “Rhonda?” You shoved him again. “Dianna?” You asked pushing him one last time, this time harder and he was backed into the corner and could see his jaw tighten. “Oh, and my favorite, your fucking secretary Bridgette.” You smiled and shook your head. “I knew it. I knew it.” You stressed, your voice starting to shake with the buildup of anger, and more tears. “They mean nothing to me. Not like you. “Ethan said calmly to you. His eye contact making his words seem sincere. Was he telling the truth?  Maybe, but it was too late. That trust had already been destroyed. “You’re a fucking liar.”  You walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom you shared. You walked to the other side of the room to get away from him. It was too much. You always had a feeling that something was right about him, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. You grabbed your bag from the closet, and started throwing clothes in them, cussing and yelling as you stuffed many items in it. You weren’t even sure what it all was, but the more that you put in that bag was the more you were close to getting out of there. Ethan tried to grab you to talk things out. Grabbing your arm, you pulled it away, he grabbed both of your wrists to calm you and to pull you into his chest, but you pushed him away repeatedly You took a shirt and hit him with it and he held his hands up grabbing the fabric in the air, twisting it around his hand and yanked you close to him. “Please calm down, we can talk about this.” He held you firmly to him, looking at you dead in your eyes, not even blinking. Was he terrified of losing you? Was he scared of what his life would be like without you? You fought more against his grip. “Would you stop! He yelled, “and fucking listen to me! They mean nothing to me! I want to marry you and be with you!” You looked closer into his eyes and saw that they were glazing over. Was he about to cry? Was he actually upset that he hurt you? For a brief moment, you settled down, and lowered your guard for a moment.

“I love you.” He said, releasing the grip on your wrist since he must have felt your nerves calm. “There is nothing to freak out about. My heart belongs to only you.” He said, leaning in closer to your face. “I want to kiss only you…” Ba-dum

The sound of your heart echoed in your ears as he spoke those words… “ I want to marry only you..”

Ba -dum But it wasn’t the words you wanted to hear. It was the wrong words. “I am going to marry you (Y/N).” he whispered right before his lips touched yours. Those were the wrong words…. “The hell you are!” You yelled as you pushed him back, but he still held one of your wrists.  “What makes you think that I would even marry you?” You questioned as you finally yanked yourself free from his grasp. You turn and walk to the other side of the bed, snatching up your phone. Your fingers unlocked it and you started to search through it. You started muttering to yourself. “Great! I guess you’re going to call him now. Complain about me?” He gestured with his arms, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. “Call who?” You questioned, going through your contacts. Richards name slowly scrolled down, and your thumb landed on his name, but Ethan had caught your attention and you looked up from the phone. “Who do you think? Richard for fuck sake. You can’t seem to just let him the fuck go can you!” Ethan said, yanking up a shirt from the side chair, and putting it on, followed by a pair of mint green pants. You always hated those pants. “He has nothing to do with this. You did this! “You proclaimed. Snatching up your keys and walking over to the night stand to grab a few more things, shoving them into the bag. “Whatever you need to tell yourself (y/n) You’re probably acting like this because you slept with him, and now you are turning a tiny indiscretion of mine into this mountain of guilt.” He gestured with is hands and body movement. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?! Are you trying to turn this around on me? You gestured pointing to yourself.

“I’m just stating the facts. You couldn’t have him, so you had to get me. You were too weak to tell him how you felt, and he didn’t care enough about you to notice you. Why would he want you? He’s famous now and can have any woman he wants and you —“ SMASH! The vase you threw at his head shattered near him. He guarded his face and moved aside and looked at you. “WHAT THE FUCK!?!? Have you lost your mind?” He yelled as he moved around the broken pieces by his feet to a clearer spot. Then you looked down to continue to pack, grabbing everything that could fit into this large duffle bag. After stuffing what you could in it, you make your way to the door. “I had to settle for a piece of shit like you.” You added onto his statement, your voice was so calm, still, but the tears filled your eyes and burned as you looked at him without blinking. “I had to lower my standards to a pathetic man child who had to feed on someone else’s insecurities to make himself feel better.” “(Y/n) wait, I didn’t mean…” he said starting to walk towards you but when he saw that you straightened your back and took a more dominate stance, he paused. “You meant every word. And I shouldn’t have said yes to marrying you when in my heart I really didn’t want to. But my family, and your family pressured me. Especially when…” You paused for a moment and looked around the room and then back at him. “When I knew I would never love you the way I love him.” Those words flew from your mouth so fast. You never thought that you would think it, let alone say it out loud. You knew instantly from the look in his eyes that they’d hit their mark. In that instant your relationship shattered into glassy shards. Nothing would ever be the same again. “We’re over!” You completed as you walked out of the door. ______ The next day you remained in the protection of your dear friend penthouse. You closed the blinds, and the curtains. You brewed some coffee, with cream, and added some caramel into the mixture as you lazily walked back to his room. You hadn’t slept so well after dreaming about the fight you had with Ethan. It was so fresh in your heart and mind. You placed the mug on the night stand and crawled back into bed. Tucking yourself into the big red and white pillows and pulled the black duck down comforter over yourself. You leaned back against the pillowed backboard, reached for the remote, twitched on the TV and flipped through the channels until you landed on the TV show FRIENDS. Tossing the remote beside you, you tried to focus on the screen before you, but your phone went off again. You struggled with the decision to pick it up. Looking from the TV back to the phone, and then back to the TV again. Then back at the phone when it went off. You reached over and picked it up. You fingered through the unlock and brought up your phone log. 14 MISSED CALLS – Ethan Hawthorne Then you saw the notifications on your iMessages. You opened it. _______________________________ ETHAN {Please pick up the phone….. } ETHAN {We need to talk!!!} ETHAN {I’m not giving up on us! I don’t care how many times I have to call you or text you! } ETHAN {Why are you acting like this? Can we just please talk?! } ________________________________ You took a deep breath and hovered your finger over delete. For a moment you thought how freeing it would be to clear these, and never reply to him, but then again, what if you did reply. What if you told him to never call or message you again? Is saying nothing, really louder than saying anything at all? Without a second thought you deleted it. You closed your eyes, and put the phone on the nightstand, but before you could fully come to terms with what you just did, you heard a knock on the door. You were expecting anyone, but when you walked to the door, you looked through the hole, and saw a bouquet of flowers. You pulled back and took a step back from the door. Maybe you shouldn’t open it, maybe you should. Ethan was smart, sending you flowers so early. You bit your bottom lip, and then another knock came to the door.  “Who is it?” You shouted. “I have a delivery for a Miss (Y/N).” the man said. “Can you leave it by the door?” You asked, walking closer to the door, and placed your hands on the wood. “I was instructed to hand it directly to her. You know….my job.” He replied. “Ok.” You sigh and open the door. As you open it, the bouquet was in full bloom in front of you. Bright red roses petals, with lush green stems. It was so large it covered the delivery guys face.  “Do I need to sign for it or something?” you ask waiting with your arms crossed in front of you. “Not really, but if you would like to pay in the form of a hug. I wouldn’t object.” He said, as his American accent changed over to the floating melody of a British purr, and as the flowers came down, it revealed the most beautiful man you had ever seen. Richard stood before you with a big smile on his face. His eyes were sparkling, and his cheeks were flushed. He was so excited to see you. You weren’t sure what came over you when you lunged forward and flung your arms around his neck, pulling him into an embrace. He chuckled and leaned down to hug you back. He squeezed you and buried he face in your hair. You heard him take a deep breath, and you could have sworn you felt the thumping of his heart against your chest. It was racing. Or was it yours? At the moment you couldn’t tell, all you knew it he was here with you. You pulled back, but held onto his shirt, while he in return placed his hand on your cheek. You leaned into the warmth of his hand smiling. Your faith in men had left you, but you knew that Richard would heal it. Someone how. Starting by showing up earlier than he said, and now pulling this stun, in his own penthouse.  “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you are here.” You stated excitedly. “But where are my manners, please come in.” you walked back over the threshold, and moved a side so that he could come in.  “I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you, and in my penthouse no less.” He chimed back. Richard walked into the kitchen and placed the vase of roses on the counter top. He turned to look at you and removed his black coat and tossed it on the back of the counter. He looked around the room and shook his head. “What?” “Why is it so dark in here?” “I didn’t want any daylight in here.” “Why? A little daylight would be good for you (Y/N).” he stated as he walked across the room and to the window, he tossed the curtains opened, and the living room was flooded with golden light. He could have pushed the button that does it for him, but he was always the kind of guy to do things himself. You blocked your eyes for a moment, and then put your hands down to see Richard standing before the window with a halo of light around his head. The light caught in his beard, and he turned to look at you with glowing blue eyes. He wore a plaid shirt and dark blue jeans. A trimmed beard, and his hair combed over to one side. He looked good. Gorgeous. “Is that why you’re here? To open my blinds? You turn to Richard and hold up a cup. “Want some?” He walked over to the counter and sat down on the stool. He leaned forward and closed his hands together. 

“Are you going to tell me what happened, or am I going to have to guess?” he sounded irritated, so his voice became a bit deeper. “Richard….” you sighed as you put the first mug into place on the Keurig, you put the K-Cup in the machine, and pulled the lever down, and hit BREW. You turned, and leaned back on the counter, with your hands on both sides of you along the counter top. “Don’t make me.” “What do you want me to say? He cheated. Cheated, a lot, and I was the dumb one who fell for his shit.” You said. The buzzer went off and you turned to remove the first cup, put another in its place, and a new K-Cup, and hit BREW again. You gently placed the cup in front of Richard, and reached over to hand him sugar, and creamer. “You’re not dumb, don’t say that. He cheated, yes, but that isn’t your fault.” Richard said has he put both hands on the sides of the cup. “Not my fault!?” You chuckle just saying those words. But you always thought that it was. Maybe it was in a way. You never really fully expressed yourself or showed that you were completely into the planning of your wedding, or him even. You were just there, going through the motions, while he was there, with other women. To be honest, he wasn’t the one you wanted. You lowered your head and started to cry. You heard the stool shift across the floor and in an instant Richards hands were on you, turning you. He crouched a bit to look at you, and tilted your head up to look at him, and when you did, he straightened himself. “Open your eyes.” he said softly. His hands cupped both sides of your face, his thumbs wiping away the tears from your face. “Look at me (Y/N).” he kindly stressed.  So you did, and he was looking at you with such hope, and longing that it killed you. How can he be so calm at a time like this. How had you been so clam the past night? “I can’t do this anymore.” You weeped.  “Do what?” “Love anyone again. How an I supposed to trust someone after this?” You asked, gripping his shirt.  “It’s not going to be easy dove, but I’m here to show you that you can.”  You looked up at him, and then to his lips. You always wondered what it would be like to kiss him. You lean in close to him, and place your forehead to his chin. He lowers his head to place a kiss on it.    You didn’t want to bottle up your emotions. Sadness, obsessing, and full-blown crying fits was your way to deal with emotional upheaval, and pretending you were fine when you were not will have the same effect as a pressure cooker. So, you called out of work for the next few days, to let all your pent-up feelings loose, whether it was on your own with Celine Dion on full blast, with a box of tissues or with your best friend after two bottles of wine. And your best friend was here now, so here came the tears, and wine.

Sometime later, Richard gently rouses you from a deep slumber after you pasted out in his bed. Richard had to pick you up from the couch after the first bottle of wine. You drank the majority and like a gentlemen he let you. He tucked you in, and he settled in next to you, arm around you, and he just let you cry and cry. You complained about everything under the sun when it came to Ethan. The stupid pants he wore, to his cologne, how he said certain words, and how horrible he treated Richard.  He sat at the edge of the bed, gently stroking your hair, and shaking you awake. As you woke, it felt as though your spirit returned to your body, and you felt heavy again, but warm under the blankets. You opened your eyes to see Richard sitting there, smiling down at you. “Good morning.” He said softly, as to not shock you with his presence. “Richard?” You said, as you slowly moved the blanket from your face rubbing the sleep from your eyes. “Yes, It’s me, you’re not dreaming.” He joked, rubbing your arm. “You’re here!” you cooed sleepily. “Yes, I live here. Did you drink so much you forgot?”  “I know that.” Richard smiled and looked at you for a moment. His hand moved from your arm, to move a few strands of hair from your face. His index finger grazed your cheek, and you smiled. He tilted his head a bit and studied your face. “I jumped on the first flight I could.” You moved the blanket down, and stretched your arms wide, awaiting a hug you desperately needed. He smiled and leaned in to hug you. His arms slipped under you, and he pulled you into his arms. Practically pulling you up from the bed. You buried your face in his neck, and he squeezed you in return. You relaxed in his arms, and didn’t plan on letting him go, but you wanted to reveal in his warmth and scent. You take in a deep breath and then release it slowly. “I’m just happy you’re here.” “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” He asked, as one of his hands stroked your back. “Because of your job.” “(Y/N)? Do you really think that would keep me away from you?” he asks, as he releases you and cups your face. “You know what I mean.” You say sweetly, placing your hands on his own. “Your friends break up doesn’t fall on the important spectrum when it comes to your career.” He chuckles and lets go of your face and stands up. “It’s not my career that makes all the decisions, but my heart. Time with you is all I always want, like air to a dying man.” He says, as he heads towards the bedroom door. “Which is to say that nothing would keep me from you. As selfish as that may sound.” “Richard…” you started, but he interrupts. “Now out of bed. You need to eat.” He walks out of the door. “I kind of like it here! Your bed is amazing!” You shout after him. “Then I guess I’ll bring your breakfast to you! He shouts back. You laugh to yourself and fall back into the large pillows. Your arms stretched out at your sides. The sound of breakfast for dinner sounded exciting to you. You remembered Richard’s cooking it for you whenever you both would get drunk, it was always delicious, and he always ate with you. You closed your eyes and several minutes later, you could smell the aroma coming from the kitchen. An hour later, Richard brought you the works. Freshly squeezed juice, toast with grape jam, eggs, bacon, and a bowl of grapes and honey dew. He placed it on his bed, with a giant tray, and there was enough for two people. You turned the TV on just for background noise while you both spoke, He told you the story about how after he got your call, he called his assistant and requested the next flight out of Los Angeles to New York that there was. He called ahead to the front desk and requested that you be let in, but it would have to be the servant’s entrance as he had locked the elevator to his floor. He called his other assistant in New York to find the best relaxation basket he could, and to make sure there was a sweet message from him for you. He wanted you to know that he would take care of you. When it was time for him to leave, he didn’t even pack any clothes. He grabbed his keys, phone, and wallet, and left. He didn’t have time to think, his instincts told him that you needed him, and you needed him now. On the plane he was anxious to see you, and he couldn’t wait to get out of the airport, and into the taxi to get home to you. “You didn’t have to do all of that. Did you even get any sleep?” You asked as you held the toast in your hand, looked at him.  He looked at you and reached over to wipe a piece of jam from your lips. “No. I’d been up for about 24 hrs, I believe? There was no time to think about myself. I was worried about you.” He said as he went back to eating. You sat there staring at him and you lowered the toast to your lap. Your eyes started to burn and glaze over. “Why would you do that for me? Why do anything of it?” Your voice started to shake, and you honestly tried to hold back the tears. You hated crying in front of him, and you didn’t want him to think you were a cry baby, but damn it. He was always so sweet and kind to you. Why couldn’t you be with someone like him? Why couldn’t you have been the one in this bed for years, waiting for him to come home to you. You knew that you loved him, but just the thought of him flying across country, not sleeping until you were taken care of, and happy before taking care of himself hit you hard. Richard put his food down, cleaned his mouth, and swallowed the remaining food. He looks down for a moment nodding slightly to himself, as if he was talking to himself. Like the moment you get when you are building yourself up to finally say something.  “Do you really have to ask?” He said, still looking down at nothing in particular.  “After all this.” He looks at you. “I did it because….I love you, (Y/N).” You new that it would take time, but with those words you felt the break in your heart start to heal.  END.

[sending-the-message]

The sky is a little brighter today thanks to the Black Knight Satellite. by shipinthesea123

After Mondays eclipse, the sky is a little brighter. You probably won't notice it because the source of this extra illumination isn't that large, but I fear this small source of light may will have a unprecedented impact on our planet.

The Black Knight Satellite has turned white....bright white and very bright.

The names Josh, and I work as a custodian at the Space Fence . A now relic of the Air Force Space Command, once served as a the forefront in detection of objects in our immediate space through a series of radio transmissions. Like many other government initiatives, there is a lot more to the story than that. I started work with the initiative in 2004, and continued through the decommission of the effort in 2013. Like most abandoned government projects, someone has to "inspect and protect" government assets. Basically, the technology was outdated and Lockheed, Northrop and Raytheon have all already won the bid for the new and improved space fence, to be built off of Kwajalein Atoll. So, until they completely decommission our operation, myself and a few other staff occupy the last remaining "hot" low-power sites monitoring and sending data down the rabbit hole. I spend my time here in Lake Kickapoo Texas at the Master Transmitter. The seclusion and little interaction with anyone is a nice change from my time in Dallas. The ex wife not having a knowledge of where I am doesn't hurt either.

Those of you who have some interest in the paranormal community may know of the Black Knight Satellite. Spurred by Nikola Tesla's supposed session listening to radio waves from the object. These signals were sent perfectly timed and were deemed by Tesla to be intelligent, or from an intelligent source.

Que the forest fire of speculations and outlandish stories, and the Black Knight quickly became nonsense. Do your curiosity a favor and research it. The BK has so many back stories, it can only be a hoax right?

Not quite.

In October 2013, official word came from our headquarters that Space Fence has been deemed outdated. Our new initiative was to move towards low power duty and automation with the exception of custodial personnel to confirm that the grounds were maintained and automation was left uninterrupted. I liked Lake Kickapoo. This station is based in the middle of a farm, and the little shack on the lake I had bought was perfect. So I asked for the custodial position and received it. Having the ability to sit and monitor radio transmissions from space from 9am to 2pm, then fix a gutter or mow the grass was heaven to me.

To the Black Knight. If you read into the lore of it, radio transmissions seem to be the running theme.

Here's what my briefing uncovered to me and the other staff taking part in the Space Fence;

1) It is a real thing. Our governments are aware of it and when we can spot it, efforts from all parts of the world to catch a glimpse of it or intercept the radio transmissions. The closest man-made satellite usually intercepts a visual or auditory signal. The longest recorded information on the BK was from the International Space Station in 2012. The ISS made visual with the BK. The visuals of the BK confirmed its size to be comparable to a small sedan, with a texture that looked like that of a smooth onyx metal. There was a notable disruption in electronics in the ISS, signalling that the BK has an apparent electromagnetic field. Crew members noted confusion after witnessing the event. The BK disappeared.

2) It has a random, unpredictable pattern. Previously thought to have a polar orbit, no one has been able to predict or discover a pattern to it. It just....disappears.

3) It hasn't been sending a radio signal to us like Tesla originally thought. It has been sending a signal about us. Most are thought to have no knowledge of what the transmissions meant, but after decoding recorded transmissions, many people from around the world have interpreted it to be a basic "Handbook of Humanity". Form our genome codes, to our political structure and religious constructs.

4) Here is the most unsettling fact about the Black Knight. We know nothing else about it. It has appeared harmless, the BK itself. Just a spy station for something/someone. All signs point to extraterrestrial, but really the question to who or why can't be determined. So we've waited. It's been our Elephant in the Room for a while. Everyone in the upper echelons of government know about it. They know it's gathering information and transmitting it back out but why? It has boiled down to the fact that they can't catch it, therefore they can't figure out where it came from and so on.....so why worry about it?

A bit fucked up if you ask me.

But, we who are privy to it's existence carry on our daily duties, knowing that it's there and we do nothing. We just know that this out there. This so called "benign big brother" watching us.

Monday started out like all the others. I wanted to take a little time to catch the eclipse like many other Americans so I started my day early. My director would occasionally drop by to check and see if the compound was good at random drop ins, so I stayed on my toes. I mowed around the length of the radio transmitters, blew the clippings off the parking lot and knocked the few stray shrub limbs off. I keep the place in tip-top shape as if it were active to this day. I laid in the bed of my pickup with my glasses and stared off into the eclipse and life went on like it any other.

I stepped foot back onto my front porch at around 6:03pm, my nightly round of Netflix and shitty TV dinners was on track when my cell phone rang. It displayed a "Unknown Caller" for the ID. Answering it, I expected a recorded message alerting me of my vehicles warranty expiring or the situation with my current credit card debts, but no such luck. It was a disturbing call that I have only heard about people like me receiving in dire consequences. When we communication stations need to be listening....and listening close.

A recorded female voice, hurried but exact in her instructions.

"All Space Fence stations; Protocol H184.... 216.98 MHz Alpha Foxtrot Blue" She repeated this two additional times before the call ended with the beep beep beep signalling it hanging up.

I froze. I was instructed about this in '13 when we brought the fence down. Protocol H183 is a full power up. 216.98 MHz is the fences full operating frequency. AFB.....that's what worried me, it's a signal of a huge issue. Some kind of national disaster or a threat.

Surely this wasn't a test. We're a tick dick away from having all of the power cut to this program, why in the hell would they bring us back up?

My phone rang. Reggie from our fill-in transmitter site in Jordan Lake, AL calling. He had received the same call...Dianne from Gila River, AZ called next. We were all given the orders for a full power up. I sped off to my site.

While heading there, I received an email. Which was almost as shocking since the power down, I rarely received correspondence via email unless it was to receive my W-9 at the end of the year. It lit up with more emails from our group on the project.....the receiving stations were being brought up as well.

Hawkinsville, GA Elephant Butte, NM Sand Diego, CA Tattnal, GA Silver Lake, MS Red River, AR

All were ordered to be at full power by 2359 Eastern Time.

I felt instant nostalgia the minute I went to the main breaker and pumped the primer to flip the breaker. When it snapped into place, I could almost feel the energy running back into the sleeper station. The two red blinking caution lights at either end of the antennas quickly lit up like a runway when the forty or so other lights powered up. My little spot in the Texas desert was back online. Well, almost. This station was usually manned by at least 5 people. Startup wasn't impossible with one man, but timely. Finally at 2100 central time, I went online at 100%. I pulled the plastic film off of the chair in the middle of the control room and fell into the seat. For a moment, the terror of whatever was going on was masked for a moment by the pride of accomplishment. I pulled out my phone and started working my way through the forty some odd emails unread. It was a barrage of "What's going on?" or "Tattnal online" or "Hey, didn't the guy running San Diego die?". Our director, the "boss" never piped in the email exchange until he sent a simple, "Update to come at 0200 EST."

The worst fears came to mind while I checked and rechecked.

Nuclear war? Bio-terrorism? Why the hell is the AFSSS involved? Space Ebola or something?

I couldn't understand why in the hell they wanted the Space Fence online for a disaster? It would almost be like fighting cyber terrorism with a calculator. We're outdated. All we could do it detect things in the atmosphere.

0200 EST came.

An encrypted message hit my inbox. After pulling it and getting it to it's full form, I read the contents.

Air Force Space Surveillance

All Auditory/Radio/Visual Personell

RE: Black Knight

On August 21st, 2017 NASA has reported a sighting of the Black Knight Satellite. One like no other on record. >Approximately 1630 EST, ISS reported the BK had appeared mere feet away from the observation pod. Scientists on >board reported that the surface of BK, usually giving off a solid appearance, now looked fluid. During the 14 minute 34 >second time-frame it was in view, it slowly illuminated. Both cameras, and occupants of the ISS could not view with the >naked eye, or a camera anything decipherable after said illumination event.

A spike in transmissions of all kinds are being reported. Space Fence has been ordered activated to pick up any >anomalies or atmosphere entry.

Keep our ears open at the listening stations and send to HQ for decoding. The boys up top want to know what BK is >saying.

It is moving in a course that is in orbit, but inline with the suns current pattern.

Update through encryption any anomalies noted by your station.

End.

Sleep deprivation is a helluva drug. I can't help but think of the possible scenarios. Why haven't we as a people made a bigger deal of this. Did we just accept the fact that we were being watched and broken down? That this CCTV has been floating right above us and we've just....done nothing.

What is it doing? Why has it lit up?

I received another encrypted email. San Diego is picking up an entry. New Mexico and Arkansas are confirming.

An old friend who deciphers in the AFSSS has called. He says BK is talking...

EVACUATE. INVASION IMMINENT.

Is the BK talking to us though?