#i have reasons behind each name. btw ‼️

[sapphicmcmean]

im gonna write a transfem jaspereo fic that has a target audience of 1 (me)

[glitch-karma]

Hi there! If requests are still opened, i'd love to make one :o (although it's a bit lengthy, so if you don't want to do it I understand!!)

TW for s**cide mentions from here forward btw! (common with any dazai fic, lolz)

I'd love to request a dazai x reader (fem or gn will work!) where he asks reader to commit double suicide with him, and to literally everyone's shock, they agree! So the agency (mainly kunikida and atsushi) have to repeatedly sabatoge their attempts, and during that time, the two start to get to know eachother better and grow closer whilst they aren't plotting their own demises. Eventually dazai starts to fall for them, but one day reader tries to attempt on their own life solo due to being unable to handle the pains and pressures of life anymore. Ofc they were rescued just in time, but it made him realize that he wants to see reader safe and happy, and that he had finally found his reason to live through his love for them. Extra points if he confesses his love at some point and reader accepts!!

Sorry if this was rant-y, i'm a huge sucker for angst to comfort :P either way tho, i hope you have a lovely rest of your day/night!

THIS RIGHT HERE IS A BEAUTIFUL STORY OH MY!!!!

-F!Y/n

-Y/n is a new worker at the Cafe under the ADA

-MAJOR SUICIDE WARNING!! (Including but not limited to: Blood, pills, self-harm, etc..) I am a sucker for graphic detail so you have been warned

-Also warning for puke

-Reader is kinda based off of Mafuyu from Project Sekai cause I said so (Btw pjsk simps gonna open up reqs for them when they become open again‼️)

-also reader has dull eyes cause anime logic

I did probably a concerning amount of research on suicide, (Plus looked for so long for Dazai's stupid lil book) for this so I hope you enjoy!

_____

Break time at the Armed detective agency usually means having some coffee at their favorite cafe. As the group sat down Dazai was glancing around when his eyes caught the sight of the new waitress waiting next to a barista Dazai frequently flirted with. The girl had semi-messy h/c colored hair, her eyes a dull e/c. Her features framed her face so beautifully. Dazai's mouth curled into a smirk as he stared at her. Kunikida caught wind and immediately irked. "Dazai.."

As the waitress approached the table, Dazai read the name stage reading "Y/n". He smiled as she stopped at their table. Before she could get a word out Dazai grabbed her hand in his. "Such soft hands.. And beautiful eyes as well. Would you, Belladona, do me the honors of accompanying me to a double suicide?"

WHACK

Dazai was now lying on the floor, as Kunikida brushed himself off. "I'm so sorry Ma'am, he's always like this-" Atsushi apologized as Y/n leaned down to the man on the floor. "I'd gladly join a double suicide." She smiled down at him.

. . .

"WHAT!?!"

"Really!?!" Dazai yelled as he stood up, grabbing Y/n's hand again. Y/n chuckled as she nodded at him. "I get off at 6. You work in this building correct? I'll meet you on the roof." "Yes yes, that sounds wonderful~!"

Everyone at the table stared shell-shocked as Y/n takes their order normally like nothing just happened. As dazai kicked his legs in his own little world, Kunikida Atsushi and Junichiro all stared at each other in concern. Kunikida pulled them behind a menu quickly.

"As much as I'd love to let that dimwitt meet his end, we need him and that girl to stay alive. It isn't right letting a young lady with so much life in her die with that blasted Dazai." Kunikida sighed. Atsushi and Junichiro nodded in sync.

"Once Dazai leaves to meet her we should follow them," Atsushi whispered. Junichiro hummed in agreement. "It's decided then." Junichiro finished. The three quickly separated from the menu as Y/n walked over and set down their drinks. As she walked away dazai starstruck-ingly called out; "See you tonight Madameeee~". Y/n peeked over her shoulder, smiling at him. Dazai felt his heart flutter a bit at those beautifully dull eyes.. They seemed to draw him in for more.

...

As Dazai whipped open the doors to the building roof, he caught sight of the lady ready to accompany him with his final dance. Her hair was gently blowing in the warm Yokohama breeze as she stared off into the sky. What was she looking at? Dazai didn't know. But her eyes looked so sickeningly dull in that moment. But still, so beautiful..

"I'm pleasantly surprised to see you here! I was concerned you agreed simply to make me leave you alone." The dark-eyed man said, leaning next to her. "I'd never joke about suicide. Such a beautiful ending to a sick existence." Y/n spoke lowly. In the cafe, she had a sort of customer voice, but there was no trace of it here. Dazai smirked a bit at this.

"I should let you know now, I'm not interested in pain. I don't know exactly what you're into though.." Dazai teased her. "Pain is not something I'm looking for either. Just a quick ending."

Dazai chuckled, quickly whipping out his little red book. "Suffocation, Hanging, Poisoning, Shooting, Jumping," He read off as Y/n stared at him. Only blinking in response. "All the ideas you could storm up are right here in this very book."

"Ah! What a glorious book,, if I wasn't planning on dying I'd buy a copy.." Y/n smiled lightly. "But.." she continued, grabbing the book and shutting it quickly. "I'd like to try jumping first."

With a quick grab of Dazai's shirt, the two were suddenly falling off the roof of the building. Y/n shut her eyes, waiting for the end of it all.

Poof.

The two landed on a bunch of garbage bags stacked up on each other. Y/n quickly sat up in disappointment as Dazai lay on the ground is fear and confusion. "Dang."

Dazai suddenly bursted into laughter. Y/n hummed, turning to him. "What's so funny?" Dazai wiped a tear from his eye as he sat up too. "You're the most forward suicidal girl I've ever met, my dear Y/n." He chuckled. Y/n blushed lightly before standing up.

"No matter.. We'll try again. Tomorrow. You can choose the method." She smiled at him. Dazai chuckled as he stood, lending her a hand up as he did so. "It's a date." He joked.

. .

"GAHHHH I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T GONNA MAKE IT." "Oh be quiet Atsushi, my Ideals were almost perfect."

There were the secret team, two sweaty messes, and one writing vigorously in his notebook. The three had watched Dazai enter the roof before running down to prepare in case they jumped, finishing just before they did.

"This might be a long couple of days.." Junichiro said quietly.

...

Day 2

"Oiiiii! Y/n dear!" Dazai yelled as he entered the roof. "Ah, hello Dazai." the girl lightly smiled. "What will we be doing today?"

Time after time,

Day 3

"Oh, Y/n you're here late! Well? Shall we begin?"

Attempt after attempt,

Week 3

"Dazai! Hurry we'll miss the train!" "Yes yes, my dear!"

The two met almost every day.

Month 2

The two had been testing the faith of this world as they attempted suicide again and again. Slowly, Dazai started to see something he hadn't before. Something fluttered in his chest..

The way she gets so distracted, the way she turned to yell at him when he took a joke too far, the way her nose scrunched up in such a way, those eyes.. Those beautifully dull eyes.

What was this feeling in Dazai's chest?

As Dazai thought intensely at his desk the others in the office grew worried. "What's up with Dazai today?" Atsushi mumbled. "I'm not sure.. I've never seen him think this much before."

"It's so clear what his problem is." Ranpo mumbled as he sucked on a loli. Dazai's head shot up immediately. "You know what this feeling is in my chest!? Please, explain Ranpo! Have I been poisoned? Is it fatal? Will I finally die? I can't die without Y/n."

Ranpo sighed as he bit off the lollipop. "No nothing of the sort, you're simply in love with that cafe waitress."

...

"Did he really just say that in front of us all!?"

Everyone at the agency thought in shock. Dazai's eyes were wide as he stared at Ranpo. His cheeks were flushed as he pondered the idea. The great Dazai? In love?

"This feeling in my chest.." He thought in shock. "That's a heart by the way," Ranpo smirked at the flustered Dazai. Dazai looked down for a moment, before springing up. He slammed his fist down loudly."This is..."

"Truly wonderful!!"

Dazai yelled as he pranced around the office. The majority of the group stared in dismay as he did so. "Ah, how perfect! I'm in love with the person I plan to meet my end with! We can plan a lovelier more passionate suicide now! How beautiful!"

"I should go confess right away! We can begin planning for our end together!" Dazai screamed with giddy as he threw his jacket on quickly. Ranpo's eyes scrunched together lightly as he thought. "You should go quickly, Dazai." He said as Dazai flung open the door.

"Will do!" Dazai yelled, running down the stairs to the cafe. As he opened the doors, he inhaled the lovely aroma of coffee before calling out. "Y/n my dear! I need to tell you something import-"

To Dazai's dismay, Y/n was nowhere to be seen in the cafe. He blinked a few times before walking towards one of the other workers. "Is Y/n here?" He asked with a hand covering his face.

"Ah, I'm sorry Dazai she didn't come in for her shift this morning.." The barista explained. Dazai's head popped up in surprise. "Uh, really?"

"Mhm, She didn't call in either. It's unlike her. She usually at least gives a call if she's gonna be late." The girl explained. Dazai's eyes furrowed as he thought.

"You should go quickly, Dazai."

Dazai's eyes shot open as he stared at the ground for a moment. "No.."

"Uh, Dazai?" The barista asked him. Dazai turned quickly, running out of the cafe in a hurry. His breath grew ragged as he ran quickly. He stopped in front of a familiar apartment complex to breathe. He then quickly ran in, ignoring the calls from a front desk worker. He sprinted and sprinted as he burst into Y/n's bedroom. "Y/n!" He screamed.

His eyes quickly scanned the room, finding it neatly tidied instead of the mess it was when he first visited her here. He then noticed the bathroom door shut tightly, while steam lightly flowed out of it. He ran to the door, trying the handle only to find it locked.

"Y/n!" He yelled, banging on the door. No answer. Dazai backed up quickly, before slamming his shoulder into the door, causing it to fly off its hinges. He looked up from the floor, seeing the sight he wanted to stop.

(Last major TW before we continue.)

Y/n laid in the bathtub fully clothed. The water from the faucet flowed continually, causing the room to fill with steam. A bottle of some unmarked pills laid on the bathroom floor, followed by a knife of which she'd used to make her wrist bleed. The fresh red liquid had been used to fill a small vile next to her.

Dazai quickly stood up, stopping the water before reaching his hands into the hot water. He wrapped his arms around Y/n's figure, lifting her up into his arms before placing her on the floor gently. He quickly ran to the medicine cabinet, grabbing a cotton swab and a roll of bandages.

He ran back to her fast, checking her pulse before sticking the cotton swab deep into her throat repeatedly until a steady stream of fresh puke left her lips. He pulled her into his arms as she came to, putting pressure on her wrist. Y/n's head felt fuzzy as she looked up at him. "Dazai.."

"Ah, you're conscious. Please stay awake, and don't move too much." Dazai whispered lowly. Y/n's head fog cleared as she came to. Realizing she'd been saved.

"No.." She mumbled as hot tears began to form. She suddenly became enraged. "Why you of all people.." "Y/n?"

"I thought you understood.. I just want to disappear from this world. Don't you get it?"

"I want to save you. I want to live with you, even if it's only for a bit before we depart together. There's still so much I don't know about you. Y/n, I-"

"Stop it!!" Y/n screamed, kicking Dazai away. "Don't you dare say it! What can you do? You may save me for a bit, you may make me feel happy for a short while, but then what!? One day it won't work anymore! And I'll want to die again!"

She was shouting.

"That's why this is all too much! Just let me have a clean death alone! You're so selfish for even coming here and spouting that bull shit!"

Without even realizing it, Y/n was shouting.

"I'm tired..! I'm so tired of thinking there's hope! Tired of waiting, finding something close, then watching it disappear! I'll never find what I'm looking for! I'll... I'll never truly be saved! Don't you see Dazai!?"

Dazai's eyes stayed still as he watched the girl scream.

"I'm so tired.. So tired.! Don't let me despair anymore.. Just let me rot."

The silence in the room was sickening. No one dared move.

Until Dazai broke the silence by cackling. Y/n sniffled confused as she stared at him. "I just keep seeing new sides of you Y/n.. You really are sickeningly complicated." He smirked at her as he inched closer.

Dazai's lips suddenly slammed into Y/n's. The girl's eyes opened wide as she stared at him. After a few seconds, dazai pulled away, a small string of saliva trailing behind. He licked his lips lightly before speaking:

"You called me selfish for saving you.." Dazai spoke before leaning close to Y/n's ear. "But I'm an incredibly greedy man my dear.."

Y/n's face flushed more as Dazai grabbed her wrist, wrapping her wound up tightly. "Even if it takes me saving you a thousand times, I'll do it all over again. So we can have the perfect suicide together."

Y/n breathes in shakily as Dazai kisses her hand gently.

"So, let's try this again. Y/n, my dear. I'm in love with you. Will you join me, in living and dying in this life?"

Dazai's words brought more tears into Y/n's eyes as she nodded lightly.

"Yes."

-Fin-

[sittin-on-the-rooftop]

I haven’t been on in a while but HERE TAKE THIS TF2 SMUT THAT IVE BEEN WORKING ON FOR 4 HOURS GOODBYE

When the sniper x reader smut

This is RED sniper x BLU reader btw

DO NOT PLAY TF2 AT 3AM‼️(GONE WRONG) (SNIPER KISSED ME😱)(GONE SEXUAL)(* CRAZY *)

— tolle

And so, you stepped on the battlefield for the first time. The usual BLU sniper was ill, so you were his replacement in battle. The team had shown you the ropes, and treated you like you were actually part of the team. You weren’t *worse* than the BLU sniper, but still, you couldn’t navigate the battlefield like an experienced mercenary could. 

You were climbing the ladder the highest vantage point on the map. The team told you that if you could hold down this spot for a while, you could quite possibly win this match. Little did you know, someone else had already been in that spot, and you’d have to put up a fight to stay there. 

— 5 minutes earlier —

The crackling of spy’s voice through a Walkie-Talkie could be heard from the tower.  

— I heard the replacement on the other team is garbage. This should be an easy win Mundy, we’re counting on you. Over.

—  Shut it, spook. Over. 

The RED sniper put the Walkie-Talkie down, resuming his business. A few

Minutes later, the creaking of a ladder could be heard from the nest. It was you. The replacement sniper. Naturally, the RED sniper hid behind a crate, readying his shiv. A short (you’re a short king now mothefucker), (h/c) boy opened the trap door, dusting himself off. Then, equipping his rifle, he got to work.

The sniper observed your movements carefully, ‘waiting for the perfect moment to strike’ while actually observing how charming you looked. As you chambered a round, you felt a blade being held to your throat. 

— Thought you were alone up here, mate?

The RED sniper let out a small chuckle, pressing the shiv against your neck, but not yet drawing blood. You didn’t know wether your face was pale or flushed at this point. You were facing imminent death, but at the same time you thought that chuckle of his was kinda.. dare I say hot?

— Please. don’t kill me.

A panicked whisper escaped your lips, not knowing what else you could say.

— Give me one good reason not to, love.

— You just called me love and that’s gay, dipshit.

Sniper wasn’t too phased. Flipping you around, he pinned you against the wall, still holding his weapon firm.

— Huh. You’re blushin’! That’s real cute. And gay. 

— Shut up and die, asshat

— You think you’re in a position to call me names? Let me remind you that your life is in my hands, handsome. 

You shudder at that remark, your face somehow turning even more red as you feel your cock strain against your pants. You mutter a short curse to yourself, but sniper hears it anyway.

— ah fuck..

— This can go two ways, mate. Either you get the fuck out of my tower before I kill you, or we… relieve each other of our -khm- problems, and neither of us come to this tower ever again. 

— I think I’ll take the second option…

Sniper’s face was also kinda red, but looking down, you could see clearly how aroused he was too. The both of you just stood there, waiting for the other to make a move, when you decided to knock the shiv out of his hand. 

— Oh stop making this awkward and kiss me already. 

You pulled him in by his collar, the noises of surprise muffled by your lips against his. As he parted for air, he panted, 

— You’re good, I’ll admit it. But not as good as me. 

He pulled you back towards him, resuming what you were doing . His hand caressed your cheek, deepening the kiss.

Meanwhile, your hands wandered to undo his fly, and palm his bulge through his underwear.

— bigger than I thought. 

— What’s that supposed to mean, love?

Once again, he pinned you back  against the wall, unbuttoning your shirt. He started to leave hickeys all over your neck and jaw, his hands undoing your fly. 

You let a breathy sigh escape your lips.

— Just fuck me, ya tease.

— You asked for it. Take your pants off.

— that’s gay as fuck!

— Take your damn pants off, we haven’t got much time till the battle ends, let’s make it count.

You took your pants and underwear off, and sniper slid his to his knees, his cock springing out. He made his way over to the crate, sitting down on it and lathering some lube onto his cock. You took the hint, sitting on his lap, straddling him. 

— Other way around, love. 

He whispered in your ear, kissing your cheek as you turned around, your ass grinding against his dick. He reached around to stroke your length. It became clear he knew what he was doing, pushing you closer and closer to your release as your gasps and moans grew louder and louder. However, just as you were about to go over the edge, to your devastation, he stopped.

— Fuck you…

— That was only a warm-up, beaut. Now sit down. You know what I mean.

Doing as you’re told, you sat back down, but this time, aligning sniper’s dick with your entrance. It hurt as you tried to push yourself down on him. You clenched your teeth in pain and sucked in a breath..

— That’s fucking.. massive…

— You’re cute, aren’t ya. What a delicate little thing you are. You’ll just have to get used to it, sugar. Will this help~?

He started to stroke your dick again, overshadowing your pain by waves of pleasure, his cock now balls-deep inside your ass. After you’ve gotten used to him inside of you, he stopped pumping up and down, only stroking and teasing. 

— C’mon man… please…

— You can’t be the only person feeling the pleasure now, can you. We assassins do what we do for something in return, love.

He whispered into your ear, making you shiver. 

— Now bounce.

As told, you started bouncing up and down on his length as he resumed his ministrations. His breathing became heavier, and those noises soon turned into pants and moans of pleasure. He started thrusting too, eliciting a loud moan out of you as he hit your prostate. 

— Fuck, shit, right there man~

— You’re- nghh~~ welcome

 The lewd noises you both made turned you on even more as he pumped you closer and closer to the edge. His thrusts became sloppier, and so did his hands, and you could tell that he was close too. 

— Oh, Sniper, holy shit~~

A long, drawn out moan passed your lips as you came all over sniper’s hand, but still, he didn’t stop thrusting.

— Too much, too much~~!

You yelled, overstimulated as fuck. It felt kinda good to be pushed past your limit. Shortly after , sniper came inside you with one last thrust, his dick hitting your prostate once again as he came inside your ass. Hot, sticky liquid filled you up, some dripping out as sniper lifted you off of him. 

— That was… 

— Fucking delightful is what it was.

You replied, turning around and collapsing onto his shoulder. 

— Now how the hell am I gonna clean this up…