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dimensionwriter · 5 years

Text

100 Days

Part One

Alien x Reader

Warning: None

Word Count: 1947

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Okay so this is just an experiment in a way. So just remember to LIKE, COMMENT and REBLOG. I'll appreciate it.

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The creature floated in front of you in a giant alien containment. The container was 12 feet wide and 10 feet tall. The liquid that filled it was enriched with a substance that would allow the creature to continue to thrive even while being out of it's native world.

"How is experiment 337?" A deep voice buzzed in your ear. You jumped at the intrusive noise that disturbed the silence in the room. You sometimes forget that this is actually a job.

"Still unconscious, sir," you reported walking around the containment to look at it's sleeping form.

The creature had grayish blue skin that turned black once it reached it's appendages. It was bipedal with the legs thick and muscular. They had a set of arms that extended from it's shoulder, similars to a human. A second and third set of arms came from their spine and wrapped forward. A thick tail came from it's back and had a length of 3 feet and 2 inches.

"The vitals?" The voice demanded. You held in a sigh and walked over to the computer showing all the vitals. The things on the screen was a lot more complicated than that of a human.

"Fine, I believe. Though, the second heart has slowed down a lot in the last hour. Maybe get one of the doctors to come up here to check them out," you stated sliding through the chart the computer made on the creature's health. You guys didn't know how their normal health looked, so you just take the health they come in as normal and report any change in it.

"Damn thing might be trying to die on us. Well, it's not like it's giving us much information while it's unconscious, so might be a good thing." He ended it with a bark of laughter. You didn't join him as you rolled your eyes at him. He truly didn't have any patience. Some of the creatures that get sent here are here for months before they even begin to show some signs of responsiveness.

"Okay, sir. Please send that doctor in here," you quickly said before tapping your ear piece. You just had to get the boss that's the worse. He does not care for these creatures at all.

"You requested me," a montone voice asked. You turned around to see your vector's doctor walking in. They had a heavy set of bags under their eyes that showed how busy they were.

"Yeah, experiment 337's second heart rate seem to have slowed down," you explain pulling up the chart to show them. They leaned over your shoulder to look at them.

"I'll check on them. You can start your lunch break if you would like," they said looking over at you with a raised eyebrow. You pulled your lab coat back to look at your watch. Your break was supposed to start 20 minutes ago.

"Thanks. You can write anything you find in the notes under Experiment 337. I will see them there if you leave before I'm back," you rambled running around to grab your stuff. It's protocol to leave none of your things behind since you don't know what these creatures can do.

You took off your lab jacket and threw it in the waste bin. Glancing at the doctor, you could already see they were working on the creature. Hopefully nothing is wrong with them.

An hour later, you scan your ID at the door. It open slowly allowing you to see the empty room. Well except for the container with all the machinery hooked up to it. The doctor seem to be gone.

You threw your stuff on the free table and walked over to the metal closet. Inside of here were fresh and sterlized lab coats. There was also some gloves, but that was used if you could touch your experiment. And since yours were unconscious at the moment, it meant that you wouldn't be making any contact for a while.

"Examiner!" Someone yelled causing you to jump. You spun around towards the sound to see the doctor in the container. Their eyes were widen in panic as they struggled in the liquid.

"What? How?!" You stumbled while running to the container. You went to the computer to pull up the container's system. You have ot get them out.

"The creature. He woke up in the middle of me checking on him and he got out. I tried to push the panic alarm, but he sealed me in here. Hurry, get me out!" Their voice yelled out in fear. You stopped typing and turned slowly to the doctor.

"I noticed you said 'he' a lot. We usually say an alien is a they," you said lifting an eyebrow at the 'doctor'. They stopped thrashing and just floated. Since they weren't moving, you could see all the things hooked into them. No alien trying to escape would take the time to stick all those things into a person.

"Hmm, I thought I would identify closest to a male on this planet." The doctor's voice dropped two octaves causing your eyes to widen.

"You can shape shift," you screamed happily running to the glass. He looked exactly like the doctor. He even copied the mole hidden under their hair.

"What about it? You can't," he teased you raising a single eyebrow. It felt weird seeing the doctor, but having the actions and voice be so different.

"Can you please change? I have plenty of questions I want to ask you," you said going back to the computer. You closed the coding for the containment and pulled up the notes on this creature.

"Is this better, babe?" Your fingers froze as you turned your head slowly to the right. The creature was pressed against the glass closest to you. But instead of seeing an alien, you saw yourself.

"What's wrong, cat got your tongue?" The creature teased in your voice. A giant smirk slipped onto your face that looked so unnatural on you. "Well, I guess it's more like I have your tongue."

Laughter came out of your mouth as the creature started floating around. This felt weird. Seeing yourself do all these things while you are standing here really felt like whipflash.

"Wonder what's under here," he sung out before grabbing the front of the shirt. He pulled it away and started peaking around.

"Hey, stop that," you yelled banging on the glass. Deep laughter came from his, well yours, lips as he swam back over to the edge of the glass.

"Don't worry darling." He pulled the shirt down to reveal that underneath was his greyish blue skin. It faded from your skin into his as it passed the collar. "I can't turn into something I don't know."

You quickly turned to the computer and started typing in shapeshifter into his records. Putting a subsection underneath, you added that he can't shift into something he doesn't know or can't see.

"Is there anything else you cant do?" You asked looking over at him. Alien-you leaned back in the liquid and tapped his chin.

"I guess stop being so good looking," he grumbled out. You bit your lip as you thought of a perfect joke. It would be unprofessional to joke around with him, but you have heard other examiner say that they joke and play around with theirs.

"You do look like me, so I will have to agree with you on that statement." His mouth dropped open as soft stutters of laughter escaped. He closed it and rolled his tongue along his teeth.

Slowly, your skin started to turn into that grayish blue until your entire body started to contort. Your clothes turned to ashes before disappearing in the liquid. Jutting his head back, the skull seem to be shifting underneath as it became sharper and fuller.

"I think this looks a little a better," he purred pressing a clawed hand on the glass. He was back to his original form except this time clothed.

A skin tight black material covered from his knees to the peak of his neck, but it didn't cover any of his arms. It kind of reminded you of an old style swim suit in a way, very basic but covered all necessary things.

"So, you can produce clothing on yourself?" You asked thinking of how he perfectly replicated the clothes you were wearing. You leaned over to the computer and typed that in.

"Well, would you like for me to be butt naked in this container?" You stopped typing as you thought it over. It would help with getting data over everything and that increases chance for experiments. "I'm not liking that silence. You pervert."

Embarrassment encased your body as you shook your head trying to rid yourself of the accusation. "No, I was looking at it from a scientific standpoint. I promise."

He swam up and peaked over the top of the glass, so he was starring down at you. His black eyes glimmered with amusement as he threw a swift wink at you. "You can call it whatever you want, baby."

Your jaw dropped in shock at what you assumed was his flirtatious comment. What type of alien were you assigned to examine?

"I-" luckily you were cut off by a voice in your ear interrupting you. You had to stop yourself from letting out a groan as that annoying voice spoke.

"Don't forget we have a required seminar in 39 minutes. Go ahead and put your alien into hibernation and report all vitals before leaving." You rolled your eyes as you remember those dumb seminars. You really didn't want to go.

"Did I blow your mind, buttercup? Guess you imagine what is under my this suit." You zoned back into your environment as you looked back at the alien. Half of his upper body was tilting out of the container at you. His second and third set of arms slowly kept him afloat.

"Sadly, no. I have to put you to sleep now," you commented walking over to the computer. You quickly wrote in the notes that he seems to be made for swimming.

"But if I'm asleep, I can't see that beautiful face of yours," he whined out splashing his tail behind him. Luckily, none of it feel over.

"Don't worry, you can see me in your dreams," you joked typing in the code to send in the sleeping medicine. Blue liquid flowed from the machine and towards the IV stuck into him.

"You didn't even give me your name or give me a name." You tilted your head in confusion at the last statement. Why would you give him a name?

His eyes looked down at the blue liquid as it started going into him. He let out a shaky breath and dropped down into the container. His body slowly sank to the bottom where he leaned against the corner of the container.

You walked towards the glass and gently placed your hand on it. He was blinking slowly at you as he tried to fight the medicine. But you knew in ten seconds, he would be out.

"How about I call you Shark?" You joked looking at his grey skin. Bubbles floated out of his mouth from his laughter. His head plopped against the wall as his eyes shut.

"It's a good thing you cute or I would be offended by that." Silence followed as his breathing even out. The rest of his body sunk down into the floor.

Work was about to get a lot more exciting with him around. Maybe you could actually start looking forward to this.

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So this is going to be an ongoing stories. I want to try to use some stories prompt or word prompts for this as practice for my writing. Also, I want to try to write a flirty character instead of a soft blushy one like usual. So this entire thing is a giant experiment for me. So leave a comment and let me know what you think.💜💜💜💜💜

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an-actual-angel · 4 years

Text

Pairing: Connor (RK800) x Reader, Collin (RK800-60) x Reader, Richard (RK900) x Reader

Summary: The year was 2082. 44 Years after the android revolution. Things have turned south for humanity. Androids now rule the world, leaving humans to be considered as mere animals. While some Androids still have a general disdain for humanity some have taken to the idea of keeping them as “family pets.”You, born in captivity, specifically bred to be the perfect pet happen to get adopted by the RK brothers.

Chapter Description: Part 2 of your eventful day out with Collin.

(If anyone wants to be added to the tag list, either dm or reply to this post <3)

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Chapter 28 - The Lost Boy

Your name: submit What is this?

The Incident with Collin's ex had left a bitter taste in your mouth for most of the day. You clenched your fists anytime you thought back at how she and her friends had berated him. Part of you wanted to bring it up again to Collin but it seemed like he had enough of talking about her for today. You didn’t want to annoy him with it. Perhaps you could try again some other time.

Collin seemed a little annoyed by it but it didn’t seem to have shaken him up too much, he was quite happily scoffing food into his mouth, upon finally making it to the café you both had planned to visit. You watched him amused, your hands clasped around the warm porcelain coffee mug as you blew into the brown liquid, still too hot to drink. For a being that didn’t need food, Collin sure could put it away quick. You thought it was cute though.

“So,” You began to speak, removing the white mug from your lips. Collins eyes flicker up to meet yours.

“I kissed Connor this morning.” You felt weird telling this to Collin but you knew if this was going to work, open communication would be essential.

“Finally, took you both long enough.” He laughed, sitting back in his chair. “So, who’s the better kisser me or Connor?” A sly grin formed across his face.

“Definitely Connor.” You quipped, copying his go to wink.

“Lies.” Collin rolls his eyes.

“Okay, I’m only messing. You both are well, really great.” You shrug with a small giggle. You don’t think you could choose a favourite.

“Just admit you like me better, it’s okay I won’t tell.” Collin's foot brushes against your leg as he teases you. You raise your eyebrows to him in a mocking way as a response.

“I’m only kidding.” He chuckles before taking another swig of his drink.

When you both had finished your food, you set off into the city again, your hand linked around his arm as he leads the way.

“So, the museum then?” Collin asks, a little too unenthusiastically for your liking – making you stop and think.

“Why do I feel like your pandering to me?” You ask, pulling back on his arm slightly.

“Huh?”

“It’s just the museum doesn’t seem like a very ‘Collin’ thing. It’s not your style.”

“Hey, are you trying to say that I’m not smart, sophisticated and cultured?” He fakes being insulted, making you giggle slightly.

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Yeah, I know,” he smiles. “You got me. Connor suggested taking you there.” He holds his hands up in defence, accompanied by a smirk.

“Well, I want to do something that you want to do. Not what you think I want, or Connor thinks rather. This is your last day off. What do YOU want to do?”

“Well, I could think of a few things” he grins, moving his hand lower down your back with flirtation. You bump your shoulder into him in response as if you’re telling him to grow up. Not that you would mind getting a little bit more intimate with him – it was just that you actually wanted to go do something that he would enjoy. That didn't involve getting frisky.

“Oh, I’m sure” you laugh it off. “But what do you actually want to do? Well, besides, drinking, partying and orgies.”

“Hey, I’m no longer a single man, No orgies for me, anymore.”

“Anymore?”

“Forget I said that.” He snaps back, pointing his finger towards you. To which you just laugh, you cant tell if he's joking or not but... hey, you don’t judge.

But wait, what did he say? The realisation only dawns on you now.

“So no longer a single man huh?”

“Well, I was assuming by now… Y'know.” He shrugs blankly at you, like an idiot.

You shake your head and chuckle. “You telling Richard I’m your girlfriend doesn’t count as asking me out. You have to do it properly.”

Collin stops walking for a minute and plays with the sleeve of his leather jacket. LED flashing a sickly yellow for a moment, clearing his throat – even though he obviously did not need to – he starts to ask. “Uh, Will you -“

“Shouldn’t we wait for Connor?” You interrupt him.

“I can ask for the both of us.”

“It doesn’t work like that.”

“That’s a shame.” He responds even though he clearly seemed relieved that he didn’t have to ask you alone. Even though he pretty much knew what your response was going to be he was still nervous. Maybe it was too soon.

Most couples date for a few months before they make it official but you had been friends for such a long time now, does that make it okay? Where you weirded out by the power dynamic? Was being with two different people too much? Did you feel pressured into this relationship?

Collin's head felt like it was spinning, he tried his best to hide it behind his smile. Hopefully, he could maintain the blue of his LED, if he really focused he could keep it blue. – something he taught himself to do a few years back. It took a lot of concentration but it was possible.

“Anyway.” Your voice pulls him back into reality. “Back to my main point, before we get side-tracked again.” You turn to look at him, finger poking him in the center of his chest. “What do you want to do today?”

“Shit, I don’t know.” He looks around with a clueless expression. Apart of you wonders if he’s ever eve been asked this question before.

“Maybe we could go to the park? Oh!” his face sparks up for a moment. “I have a Frisbee in my car.”

“Sounds great!” You chime back. Smiling at how enthusiastic he had become over a Frisbee.

Both of you had spent a good few hours in the park. Just walking around, playing Frisbee and talking the biggest load of nonsense. You even got to meet some nice dogs, which is always a bonus.

Because it was just you and Collin, you both got some horrendously unhealthy, greasy food from a food truck but damn it was good. You both had a laugh at the thought of what Connor would say about it. The hours had passed way too quickly. Soon it was time to head home, but something stopped you, the sound of a child crying.

You almost sent Collin into a full-blown panic when you had disappeared out of his sight to go investigate it. Thankfully he spotted you before you had fully immersed yourself into the trees to seek the kid out.

Collin approached you in a light jog to keep up only to find you down on your knees talking to a small weeping boy. A human boy.

Before Collin could complain about you running off you had reached out to pull Collins hand down in order for him to be crouching to talk to the little boy as well.

“He lost his family.” Your face turned to Collin.

Collin briefly let his LED slip back to the yellow colour he had been trying so hard to hide that day. Immediately it caught the kid’s attention.

“I don’t want to go to the pound!” he blurts out, tears filling up his eyes. “Davey said it’s scary there.”

You hush the little boy before offering him your hand. “You won’t have to go near that place, I promise.”

He slowly places his tiny little dirt-covered hand in your own. You stand to your feet and help the little boy up.

“Can you help?” You whisper to Collin.

His lips go thin for a moment as he thinks. “Not without taking him to the pound to get his chip checked.”

Your eyebrows turn up in worry, not wanting to break your promise to the kid. “isn’t there something you can do?”

“Well, human matters aren’t in my division of work. I can’t do anything but Richard might be able to pull some strings.”

“Are you serious?” You wince at the thought of getting Richard involved.

“Yeah, I’m sorry for even suggesting it but he does have the city in his pocket basically.” He grumbles, scratching the back of his head. “He’s got connections, he could get a chip scanner sent out here. We wouldn’t even have to leave the park.”

“That would be preferable.” You sigh. “Would he even agree?”

“Only one way to find out.” Collin lifts his phone from his pocket. “I’ll call him, you walk the kid around the park, see if you can find his family anywhere.”

You nod and take the child’s hand again, following Collins instructions.

___

You had no luck finding the child’s family. The sun was starting its descent, painting the sky with shades of pink and orange clouds.

“It looks like ice cream.” You smile down at the little boy’s observation. “What’s your favourite Ice cream?” You ask, in an attempt to keep the child entertained.

“Strawberry!” He perks up in glee.

“I’ve never tried strawberry ice cream before.”

“What!” The Child almost seems offended by your confession. “Lady, you haven’t lived.”

“Is that so?” You giggle.

“He’s got a point.” Collin was quick to quip back.

The three of you were standing outside the park gates, it was closing up soon. At the rate this was going you would either be forced to take the kid to the pound or back to the apartment. Neither of which was ideal and would probably scare the poor kid out of his wits.

Finally, a familiar sleek black car had pulled up beside you. The doors swing open to reveal Richard, stepping out with a small white device in hand. the child’s hand wrapped tighter around yours as Richard came closer. You couldn’t blame the kid, Richard did look intimidating as hell as he approached, like some type of vampiric villain.

“Arm.” He ordered, hand extending out to the boy which cause you to grimace in response. Richard noticed immediately. With a roll of his eyes, he then squats down to the boy's eye level. He holds his hand out again and asks in a more gentle tone.

“May I please see your arm? I need to scan it so that we can call your family.”

The little boy looks up to you with curious eyes and you nod to him, placing your hand on his shoulder. The boy reluctantly rolls up his sleeve and offers his arm out to Richard.

With a small beep from the device, you had the families contact details. The lady – his mother, sounded like she was in hysterics over the phone. It didn’t take too long for her and her partner to show up, thanking and praising you all for finding their boy. When they had left you made brief eye contact with Richard and thanked him. He simply nodded and got back into his car.

---

Upon arriving home you had to fill Connor in on the eventful day you both had. He seemed just as pissed as you were about the whole drama with Collins ex. He was very proud of the both of you as well as a little shocked at Richard – and his willingness to help - with "the case of the lost child."

Thank goodness that all got sorted. I thought we were going to have to bring that poor kid home with us. That would be so bad.”

“No it wouldn’t, you were great with him.” Collin's hand grazes against your arm.

“Well, I meant it would be scary for the child. Being without his family.”

The Boys both nod in agreement.“I guess kids are lucky that way though.” You sigh. “Android couples always want to adopt little kids, raise them, treat them like their own. Probably only humans that get to experience family life. For some reason, I wasn’t good enough for that.”

Both of the boys go silent.

Oh jeez, you didn’t mean to dump all of that on them in the middle of a casual conversation. Will you ever learn when to stop talking?

“I’m sorry you never got to experience that.” Connor eventually speaks up breaking the silence.

“It’s okay. I'm sorry I shouldn’t have gone off of that tangent. I’m pretty lucky now though. I have you guys, you're both pretty great.” You smile, placing your head on Connor's shoulder and placing your hand on top of Collins.

“And were both grateful to have you.” Connor says placing a kiss on the top of your head. The three of you sit quietly for a while, Connor resting his chin on your head and Collin stroking his fingers down your hand, playing and rubbing on each one of your individual fingers.

While the room was silent you had your suspicions that Collin and Connor where communicating with each other via their minds. That weird mind communication that androids could do with other androids within their proximity. You can usually tell when this happens because Collin sometimes forgets to hide his facial expressions when he does it. Also, their LEDs slightly waver when they communicate this way.

Finally, Collin chooses to speak out first. “So I suppose now is as good as time as any.” He begins.

You adjust yourself to sit up slightly while still leaning against Connor.

“Y/N.”

“Yes?”

“Will you be our girlfriend?”

Collin looked so serious, almost worried that you’d say no. Connor, on the other hand, seemed pretty calm, casually playing with a lock of your hair. You leaned back to look at Connor.

“What he said.” Connor smiles back teasingly.

“Well, I'd have to think about it. You turn back around and look down at your nails before a smile cracks across your face. “of course I will dummy.” You giggle before leaning up and pressing a small kiss against Collin's lips. Connor rubbing small circles on your arm, waiting for his turn. When You and Collin both pull away from each other Connor reaches up his hand to guide your face towards him, stealing a kiss as well.

You hoped every moment could be this sweet.

___

Chapter 29 - Our Time is Running Out

He couldn’t believe he was doing this. What on earth possessed him to go out of his way for a human? That little minx, the cruel temptress had him wrapped around his finger.

He could have kept his pride, refused. But the thought of you upset with him (even more so than you already were) was completely unbearable.

So here he found himself, on a Sunday night, travelling across town, calling in a favour from an old acquaintance just so that he could borrow his chip reader. And for what? Some lost human that you had came across in the park? While you were on a date with his brother?

Richard was disgusted at himself.

Oh how he tried to pull back from you, to forget, to move on. But to no avail. Your laugh, your smile, your scent. It was frivolous. You had taken over his mind like a virus to his system. Oh, how it made him loath himself for feeling this way.

“You will be the death of me.” He sighed looking down at the chip reader sitting in his passenger seat.

You wicked thing.

He hoped the drive would at least clear his mind, help him keep his cool for when you meet again. He found it hard to control himself recently. He had never had this problem before. Perhaps he could only blame himself. He played with fire, allowing himself to get close to you. Now it was time to suffer from the burns.

Why did you have to kiss him, why did he allow it in the first place? It was stupid the whole thing! You were a human. It was unheard of. The only reason he adopted you was to prove a point to Connor, how did this all get so messed up? Maybe he was too arrogant. He was sure at the time that this would have been the best way to get through to his brother, not drive them apart. He wanted to save Connor from his own delusions. But what happened instead was unthinkable.

Richard caught feelings for the human.

The android and the human? It sounded ridiculous.

He braced himself as he drove closer to the destination, not long now. He was just going to get in then get out and try his best to avoid eye contact. Then he saw you. Looking as beautiful as ever, the wind delicately sweeping between your hair. Standing outside the park gates with his brother and a small little boy.

Wait, It was a child that was lost?

Richard pulled his car up beside the gates. He shook his head taking in a deep breath – which he didn’t need – before finally grabbing the scanner and stepping out.

When your eyes fell on him he felt his thirium pump start to rattle in his chest, he tried to ignore it as he approached the three of you. Swept up in his own thoughts he didn’t notice the little boy beginning to cower behind you.

“Arm.” Richard ordered the boy.

He was confused for a moment, why didn’t the child comply? But then his eyes briefly caught yours. You didn’t look pleased.

Shit.

He looked down at the boy then finally realised . Oh. He’s scared?

It’s okay, play it off…

He then knelt down. He could see the boy was still unsure of him so Richard reached out his hand and asked in a gentle tone. “May I please see your arm? I need to scan it so that we can call your family.”

When the boy finally offered his arm, Richard took it and scanned his chip, trying to hide his own shaky uneven feeling from showing in his movements. In an instant, the screen on the device flashed with the boy’s information.

Richard stood up, grabbing Collin’s phone straight out of his hand. He pressed the phone against the screen and gave it back to Collin.

“It should be ringing his family now.”

Collin nodded before holding the phone up to his ear. He moved a little bit away from you, Richard and the boy to speak to the family.

Although, the three of you could hear whoever it was – a female – blubbering down the phone.

You and Richard stood in silence while Collin talked on the phone.

“Don’t worry your family will be here soon.” Richard heard you whisper to the small boy. If his heart could combust it would have at that moment. He didn’t know how to deal with this. How to deal with you. He hated this feeling.

The minutes you waited for the family to arrive felt like hours to Richard. He stood with his arms crossed in silence while you and Collin kept the little boy entertained.

When the family finally arrived Richard was so relieved, he could finally leave. He supposed sure, it was good the child was returned home but mainly he wanted to get the fuck out of this situation as soon as he could.

After the family had given their thanks and praise to the three of you, Richard was on a mission to get back into his car as fast as possible. Before he reached for the handle, he did make brief eye contact with you.

You thanked him. He didn’t know how else to respond so he just nodded in return.

Getting back into his car he watched as you and Collin walked away – presumably to Collin's car – holding hands with each other. Richard cursed himself under his breath before driving off.

___

The next day Richard immersed himself fully within his work, something he usually did when his emotions got in the way. Emotions were so messy. he knew he had to return home soon, something he wasn’t looking forward to. His brothers were usually sat about cooing after you, the human, in HIS house. Maybe his karma was finally catching up with him.

When he arrived home it was quiet. It dawned on him, Collin was back to work again. it was probably just him and you in the apartment at the moment. His initial reaction was to run into his room or office to avoid you but a voice in his head said, ‘no. this is enough. No more hiding.’ He had to talk to you.

Gathering whatever courage he had he straightened himself out before heading into the livingroom. There you were sat cutely curled up in a ball on the couch. Your eyes lazily made their way towards him.

“Hello.” Richard spoke stiffly, trying to look as stoic as he could.

“Hi.” You spoke softly.

Okay, she doesn’t seem too annoyed with me…

Richard knew he had to be careful with his words around you. He knew you wouldn’t eat up the bullshit that he fed to everyone else in his life, no. You were different.

“So, you’re dating my brothers?”

“Yeah.”

“Both of them?”

You nod again in response. Richard bites his lip and sits down on the couch opposite you.

“I acknowledge that we had a rough patch and I apologise for it.” Richard begins speaking looking down at his hands. “I guess I just didn’t realize what we had was over.”

“We had something?” You asked. Richard's face looks up at you in confusion, not understanding what you meant.

“You see, I might be mistaken but I thought in order to ‘have something’ you would have to have, I don’t know, an element of respect for each other? Y’know treating your partner or person of interest as a person or an equal.” You spat back at him.

“It’s more complicated than that, I-” Richard tried to explain himself before you cut him off.

“Listen.” You begin. “I know you have some weird God complex so you can’t wrap your head around it but Connor and Collin treat me like a person. They care about me.”

“I care!” Richard stands up, his eyebrows turning upwards as his voice raises slightly.

You scoff a little. “Do you? Or are you just saying that to get your own way?”

“This is just, all very new to me.” Richard tries to explain further, holding his hand to his chest. “It’s difficult. You’re a human and my people they-”

“Oh grow up.” You finally stand to your feet and begin to walk away from him.

“I’m sorry!” He blurts out, causing you to stop. You turn to him and notice his LED now red.

“For what?” You ask. Maybe a glimmer of hope for him caught in your eyes.

But Richard doesn’t speak. His mouth fumbles around like he’s trying to catch his words but he says nothing.

“Hmm, I thought so.” You sigh and turn back to walk away. Biting your lip you shake your head. He doesn’t care, he’s just trying to control me again.

You will suck the life out of me ~

_________

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Notes: This chapter was heavily inspired by Muse's song 'Time is running out.' Shout out to AO3 user @DarkBlueChocolate for the chapter idea!

Taglist: @connorsdimple @crushedtincan @clussysposts @iris-suoh

#fic: pretty baby #detroit: become human #Detroit: BH #dbh fanfic #detroit become human fan fic #detroit become human #dbh au #rk800 x reader #rk800 x reader x rk900 #rk900 x reader #rk800-60 x reader #rk800-60 #rk900 #rk800 60 #My writing

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paipayaseeds · 3 years

Note

while they were talking, fumiko buried her face in the space between his neck and shoulder on his chest, turned away from kaede. she felt her heart rate increase, but a combination of her minor injury and shuichi’s tightened grip made her feel less anxious. she shivered at the feeling of shuichi’s breath by her ear, it felt weird.

“a-ah, um- well first i-i have to...” instead of finishing her sentence, she just slowly slid herself out of the hug, down to the floor. she didn’t realize how awkward the position was, she was just going to grab her mask off the floor. she had to hold onto his leg a bit for balance as she squatted on the floor, feeling around for the mask. once she felt it, she fixed it back in place on her face. once she got it, she let go of his leg and fell over a little, breaking her fall with her arms. that’s embarrassing, she thought, as if she hadn’t been embarrassing shuichi all day so far. rubbing her head, she stood up. fumiko glanced over towards kaede, face now covered, but she noticed something... off about her demeanor. she tilted her head to the side before walking over towards the blonde and pulling her into a tight hug. she looked sad, and hugs always made fumiko feel better when she was sad, so it was an obvious solution. she must’ve hit her head pretty hard, she never would’ve done something as bold as hugging a stranger before. pulling away, she answered shuichi’s question, “i... i think it’s okay. my- my head kinda hurts, i would probably only g-get in the way, heh... okaybye-“ she left the two alone in her own lab, walking forward with no destination in mind. she was exhausted, so much had happened already today and it was barely noon. after zoning out for a bit, mindlessly walking, she noticed she was going upstairs. stepping up onto the floor, she looked around and noticed that she wasn’t alone, sharing the room with korekiyo; another mask-wearing captive. she froze, remembering the announcement that was made earlier that morning. it didn’t help that korekiyo’s appearance was quite creepy to begin with.

“fumiko, was it?” he broke the silence along with the daze she was in, “it’s a pleasure to meet you. i have to say... you are an interesting specimen.” he took a few steps closer and, instinctually, fumiko took one back, forgetting the stairs behind her. before she could fall, though, she felt a bandaged hand grab her own, preventing her from injuring her head even more. kiyo lifted her back up, moving them both away from the stairs. in the end, it left them in the hallway, holding hands, while his other wrapped around her waist.

“t-thank you...” why doesn’t it feel the same...? she asked herself. when she was this close to the detective, her stomach did flips, but now... she was just uncomfortable. she pulled away, and he let her go, hands dropping back down to his sides.

“very interesting, indeed...” he said, chuckling to himself. miko hugged herself, feeling a bit uneasy around the man. unsure of where to go, she just stood there.

“unbelievable! get away from her, you degenerate!” tenko showed up out of nowhere, holding onto fumiko’s arm. she scoffed and took them both down the stairs. at this point, she really didn’t know what was going on, her brain a little foggy.

“is something wrong? did he hurt you? are you sad?” tenko questioned her, gently holding her shoulders as she stood in front of her.

“o-oh no! he actually saved me from f-falling down the stairs...” she gulped, feeling a little drained from all of this social interaction.

“tenko thinks... you need to go to bed. you look very tired.” fumiko sighed, she was right, “here, i’ll take you! you... you can trust me!” she smiled awkwardly at the smaller girl, holding a hand out to lead her to the dorms. she wanted to trust her, she really did. but... she couldn’t. she couldn’t trust anyone right now. well maybe not anyone, but still.

“n-no, i’ll be fine! thanks though..!” she said, practically bolting out the door of the school. she reached the dorm building. however, she forgot there was a step, and she tripped over it. she scraped her arm pretty bad, pink liquid once again seeping out of her skin. she sighed and stayed there. the warm feeling of the ground below her making her even more drowsy. she dozed off in front of the building, some blood from her arm drying on the pavement she laid on.

-teapot anon (on another note i really just want to give korekiyo a hug he deserved so much better😔)

Shuichi almost tripped over his own feet rushing to help the girl who had fallen, but his outstretched hands stopped mid-way as she seemed to help herself. Despite the relieved sigh, the concern still remained in his heart.

Concern shifted into confusion as he saw Fumiko walk over to Kaede, eyes widening in surprise as she hugged her. For someone as timid as Fumiko to do that, he was shocked, to say the least. Kaede seemed just as confused as he was, yet it was clear as day in her eyes; she liked it. Well, who wouldn’t like her hugs? Shuichi laughed under his breath at the scene, he could feel his chest getting warmer.

As Fumiko left without any further goodbyes, Shuichi found himself pouting- juuust a bit. Kaede sighed before calling out for the boy, “Alright, round two! Now that I’m bringing you, we’ll definitely get her to help!” Kaede’s voice seemed more energetic, as well as her entire demeanour. It seemed Fumiko’s hug did plenty good for her.

“It’ll be ready by whenever I tell ya! Don’t rush me, you losers!”

The detective sighed as Miu slammed the door on both of their faces. Kaede only laughed light-heartedly, “Well, at least she didn’t deny us this time! Hey, maybe she accepted because of your charm~” Kaede teased, causing the boy to just awkwardly laugh, his hand rising up to feel for his hat. “...Haha, yeah.”

Shuichi spent the rest of the day searching the school for Fumiko shortly after he had begged for Miu on his knees with Kaede. It was... humiliating to say the least; but if it would help catch the mastermind, then he’d be willing to do anything(within reason).

The worried boy asked around if they’ve seen Fumiko, the only answers that seemed to stick out, or even help Shuichi were Tenko’s; he had a sneaking suspicion she probably knew but didn’t want to tell him because he was a... ‘degenerate male’.

Shuichi sighed, making his way to the dormitories as the nighttime bell rung, only to gasp shockingly loud as he saw Fumiko bleeding on the ground; unconscious.

“W-what the-” Shuichi shakily rushed towards her, checking her non-bleeding arm for a pulse. ‘Oh thank god.’ Sighing fondly under his breath, he furrowed his brow in concern, squatting down to her level to see any signs of her waking up.

Seeing none, he decided to try and ‘wake’ her before he decided to treat her. You know, to ease his own guilt. “H-hey um, F-Fumiko? I’m... going to pick you up now.” Shuichi whispered quietly, tapping her shoulder lightly to ‘wake her up’ though the pressure had purposely been light as to not. “I-If you don’t want me to, say one.” Shuichi waited patiently, eyes glued to her mask as he tapped his own knee impatiently. After a good five seconds of silence, he sighed shakily. “... O-okay, um, sorry in advance but I seriously need to treat that...” he spoke as if she could hear.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry-” Shuichi muttered as he gazed at her sleeping face behind the mask, “You need to be more careful..” His face flushed pink as soon as he realized he was a dumbass couldn’t unlock her door.

... Meaning,, meaning he had to bring her in his room. Well, it wasn’t a big deal anyway, I mean, just don’t think of it like that! Shuichi shook his head in an attempt to rid of the thoughts filling his head. ‘Girl... in my room. There is going to be a sleeping girl in my room.’

See, this wouldn’t have happened if Shuichi wasn’t so weak to not be able to wake up someone who had clearly been bleeding terribly; sleep being the last priority. But could you blame him? Have you seen the girl? How she sleeps? Yeah, he’s whipped.

Gulping, he continued apologizing under his breath the whole way from picking her up, to opening his door, to setting her down, to getting the disinfectant, to treating the wound, to-

Shuichi took a big breath, ‘Okay, calm down. This isn’t a big deal. She’s just your... friend. It doesn’t matter, this isn’t weird.’ He glanced at her figure on the bed. ‘Okay, this matters a lot and she’s clearly more than a friend.’ Shuichi put his head in his hands, whining quietly against the skin before going back into his bathroom to find the bandages. “Stop being weird, this is fine.” He repeated over and over again as he rummaged the small shelves filled with toiletries.

(i don't know how they unlocked their dorm doors in v3 and i cant remember if it was by the handbook or the lock or??? i asdbhjasdkvfavsdfhjkasdbf)

#mod chia #teapot anon #rp

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huntsman-ash · 4 years

Text

LiveThoughts: RWBY V8E6

Second attempt at this since last time Chrome just DIED for no reason...

Im going to put literally the entire thing with Cinder under one note; Called it.

Its a great set of stuff, sure, but it doesnt relaly tell us anything we didnt already know about Cinder, and I personally feel it doesnt really explain why she turned out the way she did. I feel like we’ve had another weird twist of the situation again...M+K? Coronas fault? Who knows. Either way, this section isnt great by my taste and I kinda skipped most of it.

Few things to note though; Apperently in Mistral scrubbing by hand is still more viable floor cleaning tech than using Dust.

The wind vane on the roof has the Rooster Teeth symbols rooster on it.

The hotel Cinder is bought by is named the Glass Unicorn, fittingly enough for...several reasons.

The coffees behind the stepsisters when we first see them are the animated versions of the real life stuff RT put out just before this season went live.

No one seems to notice the fact cinder has orange eyes. I wonder if weird eye colors are just a THING in Remnant?

The control collar/shock thing is incredibly inefficient in design, since it doesnt actually hold on to her very well. A more effective brace/choker design would have worked better.

The song that goes on during all of this is...kind of obvious and a little bland? Fitting for younger Cinder I guess.

Mmm. Random greasy huntsman.

I guess in Atlas its fine to laugh at struggling teenagers?

Im going to assume there’s a 3+ year gap here where she gets older, cause she stops being smol and gets closer to how we see her now.

Also even here, in Atlas...really? The most effective way to clean these carpeted floors is to have a TEENAGER SCRUB THEM BY HAND?

How do you scrub...I assume its carpet anyway?

And how you tell civilians are lame in Atlas; they are impressed...by a sword. Just a sword. A boring, half-cut sword. Losers.

I assume this would be Cinder’s semblance manifesting. Also note on the desk; “we do not serve faunus”. Well THAT doesnt surprise me.

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Get fucked Cinder. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

I dont even feel pity for her, this is funny to me. Also the fact that this kind of shit aCTUALLY EXISTS is...amusing to me. Like, really? So I guess indentured servitude is a thing in Remnant too.

And this is why Cinder likes to use swords. Really. Wow. LAMEO.

Huh. Dual maces. Interesting. Thats a prety cool weapon. Looks like they open up too. Bet he could bash some skulls with that.

“Hurting them isnt going to make your life any better”. Um, excuse me? I think hurting them is the very best thing to do in this situation. At least, for the moment anyway.

Huh. So she’s ten at this point? Even as a child, shes older than she looks.

And training montage. Huh. Or at least I assume it is. I get the feeling being able to go where you want too and do what you want too is the main reason Hunters exist. There must be crazy tight immigration laws...or, maybe, its just that traveling between kingdoms is stupid dangerous cause of Grimm. I think the latter is most likely considering every form of public transit extra-kingdom we’ve seen (even between cities, see Argus Limited) has some kind of defensive weaponry. Limited and ineffective, for th emost part oddly.

So you can take the exam at 18. Okay cool. Pre-that must be prep school. Wonder what happens if you wash out? Also I like how this dude is just “yeah, 7 years of training, we got this.”

I think this is the first time we’ve seen the other side of the moon. Or at least, the proper other side...bloody hell I STILL dont know how all those piesces are still held in place, the thing looks like it should start yeeting bolides at Remnant.

Better still we see it MOVE, rotate in time to the passing of years. So it literally does rotate on its own axis, and more importantly, unlike OUR moon, its NOT tidally locked. We only ever see the same side of our moon. REmnants rotates MUCH faster. Also it doesnt seem to have phases like ours does. I’ll check on why that is.

Well at least we have an explanation for why Cinders so damn good at fighting people. Trained by an Atlas Huntsman.

Also as a note the device is quite literally just an electrical Dust crystal attached to a necklace. Things the most inefficent torture device Ive ever fucking seen.

Wonder how often they have to change the crystal.

And there goes the moon rotating again.

I like how NO ONE comment on the blade going missing and that guy never came back for it. I guess he must have just bought a new one.

I get the very distinct feeling they wont just let her go honestly, permission or not.

AWWW WE DONT EVEN GET TO SEE CINDER MURDER THE SISTERS. Also no blood. Odd. Good kill on the stepmother though. Oh, that NECK CRACK. I like how all the bitch can do is try and shock Cinder, like, uh...adrenaline up? SHE HAS A SWORD? MAYBE FIGHT BACK?

Hah. Weak ass fuckin Atlas people. Also the clock going off in the back ground twelve times. How fitting. Welcome to midnight.

Also shes kind of glowing here cause the room is dark, and I find it amusing this is probably the last time she wears white.

And THERES the Cinder we know

Sick ass music, cool. Also THAT is an interesting semblance...I guess he turns himself to metal? Also DAMN his aura broke after THAT? Hes a Huntsman...ah who cares. Again probably in Cinders memory more than anything. Which at this point is probably about as reliable as a coked up hookers.

SHANKED. Sucker. You shoulda seen THAT one coming.

And thats all it took to get the shock collar off. Lol.

So what happened to the hotel? Did they just...write it off? I mean four people got murdered in there...

And now we’re back on the whale. HOW THE SCREAMING FUCK DID CINDER JUST...

Wow. She just got up after eating that blast. Fucking plot armor.

Merc making the hard calls honestly. Im actually gonna watch all of this now which is nice because I want to know whats happening in the real world. PITY MORE THAN HALF THE EPISODE WAS THIS FUCKING FILLER.

I like how Cinder just...goes quiet the moment she realizes shes lost Mercury. Not that he was USEFUL mind you but if I had to guess she liked being the boss. But now shes...basically back where she started.

So the whale is basically a ship. It has a bridge. Probably Salems throne room.

Man, Oscars literally just RTs punching bag this season isnt he? Literally in this case.

His clothes are still scortched too which I find interesting. The black eyes also staying. Auras not back up then? Aura repair and regen seems...werid half the time. Like RT does what they want with it.

Ah so someone finally says it...but at the same time what exactly does Salem have to fear? If she cant fight the whole world...what could they do? Maybe overwhelming her? It...Im having a hard time putting the “she cant be stopped” with “shes afraid of fighting all of Remnant”.

Somethings missing here. I know it.

The sound of the “door” opening reminds me of the Flood doors in High Charity in Halo 3s Cortana. Fleshy twisting.

Mention from Hazel, but AGAIN...no details. I guess if you nail down how she can do stuff its harder to write?

Glad someone made a comment on the futility of the Hunter academies.

I really hate how Salems giving us creepy mommy shades.

Hmm. So yeah the bridge IS the throne room/command deck. I like how Neo doesnt give a fuck is just casually kneeling.

Ah okay THATS why he grabbed the scroll.

Heh. Interesting. How exactly does this work I wonder.

...Why does Salem have a ring. Has she always had that ring?

Neo looking at the Hound like “oh, I could ride this thing”.

Oh cool the Ace Ops. And they’re arguing, shocker. Sounds like Elm doesnt trust tech either. No shock there. Idiot.

Atlas elite. Yeah, right.

Huh, is this a Manta with landing gear? I guess they do have them...seems kind of silly to have them so high up though. I guess thats what the thing under the door is for, so they can deploy a ramp. Man, I really dont like Atlas’s airship design.

Hare needs some fuckin suppresants.

Annnnddd...here we go, things go straight to hell. I was warned of this. I am going to try and not be mad...but from what Ive heard the incomptence of the military in this particular section is astronomical.

Huh. So...Grimm can be convirted into a rock-punching liquid? Interesting. Has that always been a thing or... Also why the fuck are you jsut standing there in awe, go kill the fucking thing! Fucking Specialists.

...that is all it took to get through Atlas’s shield? THAT?

I also love how no one does anything. Ironwoods like “wait what the fuck”. Come on bro.

And...thats the Atlas navy. Everyone. Two lasers. One of which missed. Remind me again what exactly these things are used to shoot?

Wait, no, that took down part of it, and then the rest is, surprise, hitting the soft rock on the outside.

THERE goes the shield.

Hang on a second, how long have those giant squid things been there?

And...what. The whale just approaches, nothing happens? You’ve got 12 fucking ships there, shoot the fucking thing.

Again, WHY IS NO ONE DOING ANYTHING?

Oh, it just beach-headed. Okay fine, whatever.

Im not really worried.

Lets see how RT makes this WORSE though...

And thats this weeks episode.

#rwby #rwby v8 #spoilers #rwby spoilers

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boojersey · 4 years

Text

content warning for this long ass fucking story: lots of medical fuckups and body horror in the doctors office. this is super graphic depiction of my doctor visit which entailed a procedure. you have been warned >;)

i went to the foot doctor today to get my lifelong ingrown toenail issue corrected on one toe after i stubbed it so bad the nail split down the middle and the entire top half of my toenail unseated and snapped off and this was easily the weirdest doctor visit ive ever had so strap in folks. so i was talking to the doctor and she was telling me about the procedure and i was like i get to watch right and she was like uh ya if u want ! and she was literally drop dead beautiful in an intelligent and passionate slightly frazzled doctor way and i was so fucking chill every second she was in the room.

the nurses come in and tell me theyre gonna apply the anesthetic and one of them is brand new and in training and i was like UH i need to be laid down. bc if i see the syringe while you do this i WILL pass out. and they were like sweet ok just fine and so the anesthetic involved two syringe applications (since both sides of my toenail get ingrown) basically ballooning up my foot with some anesthetic and as they did this they “froze” my toe with i believe nitrous? it was weird bc it wasnt the same chemical i was familiar with that was a numbing agent but it was a freezy thing anyway. anyway the first syringe goes smoothly. the second one???? FUCKING snaps in half on the way in. the plunger literally *pop* snaps in half and theyre like ...........thats never happened. so they go for another syringe and im like. heave ho in the brain trying to be ok but i was SMART AS SHIT before going to this appointment because i knew what the surgery would entail and i Wanted to watch. so i drank about half a twisted tea and i was feeling very liquid courage otherwise i literally mightve cried during this appointment. anyway. they come back and administer round two again? and THE SAME THING HAPPENS. and my toe is NOT NUMB YET and so i FEEL as the nurse says well im not wasting another needle AND MACGYVERS IT PRETTY MUCH TREATING MY TOE LIKE PLAY DOH AND SQUEEZING ANESTHETIC AROUND SWISHING IT THRU THE FLESH. ALL WHILE I FEEL HER FORCING THE ANESTHETIC IN BY HAND AND NOT BY PLUNGER BASE.it was seriously terrible.

nurses eventually finish. they have to bring me a cup of water. anesthetic didnt totally do its job. i still feel on the bottom of my toe. they say its fine. im thanking the gods im tipsy. i feel as she pokes the bottom of my toe with the surgical pliers again and im about to ask if they can just do it anyway because im so terrified of more anesthetic. the beautiful doctor reenters and im suddenly feeling completely better. she tells me the fact i can feel only on the very bottom is no big deal.

i dont give a shit about the anesthetic. she tourniquets me up at the base of my toe (this is usually something that my phobia kicks in with since its usually a sign im getting a needle; pretty doctor is here so all is well and my anxieties do not appear) and goes ‘still wanna watch?’

the nurse who was training the other answers first saying im skittish. i say yes. her jaw drops. ‘you cant take the needle but you can take watching your toe get ripped apart?’ i nod eagerly. i do not tell her this is because i watch dr miami’s snapchats and ran a gore blog in my teens. i can tell the doctor likes me. she goes into a story about how she’s kind of glad about the new safety features corona brought because she is less able to smell patients with foot odor. as shes saying this shes inserting something inbetween the receding nail and the skin it has so long bruised and hurt in my life and in one smooth motion pries my skin apart. i watch, rapt, as she sections off the piece of the nail she deems ingrown with a pair of scissors, then takes the pliers and like a first grader’s baby tooth yanks and removes the nail. the piece that had been causing me so much pain was ENORMOUS. im talking like a centimeter wide which is a lot for a nail. it’s jagged and sharp, having grown only into whatever flesh it could. she pries out a few more bits, then picks up an object that reminds me of a microscopic spoon? if you’ve seen the tiny kitchen videos it reminds me of what an ice cream scooper would look like on there. she takes this and cores out the area like an eye on a potato. its insane to watch happen to myself, especially with the reminder that its happening to myself in that theres still a dull thumping feeling regardless of the anesthetic during this procedure, theres just no pain or Feeling feeling. she repeats this on the other side, then tells me about the chemical shes going to be inserting into the now gaping wounds in my toe. it’s got a 99.9% chance of making these changes to my toenail width permanent, meaning i should never be plagued by a purple and sore toe just because my brittle nail broke the day before. im practically crying in relief as she takes pointed qtips dipped in this chemical and spin cycles them into the wounds like a pneumatic drill. she gets up and says i should think about the medical field if i dont get queasy at such an event, and i let in on my phobia to the room of her and the two nurses. theyre all clearly confused by the parameters of it as i tell them i have a tattoo and pierce my face, i just cant Look at a syringe or ill pass out. the doctor leaves and im left in her wake of calm as the nurses wrap my toe in bandages. theyre red. it looks like a clown nose for my foot.

i hobble out of the room and schedule my follow up for the other foot. i need a sharps bag taped around the lower portion of my sock because it’s raining as i climb the stairs of my apartment. i have had to piss like a motherfucker the entire procedure but was too afraid to interrupt. i cant wait for the rain to let up to take my socked foot up to the third floor.

my mother tells me its disgusting that i cant shower for the day. i go into my room, drink the rest of the twisted tea, and promptly fall asleep for four hours.

send tweet.

#needles //#medical //#ask to tag #this is the first creative writing ive done since starting college mayhaps.#does this even count

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thethespacecoyote · 6 years

Note

ANDROID RHYS GETTING PREGNANT?? you literally make all my dreams come true and I love and appreciate you so much

for you anon, i’ll put all the chatlogs beneath the cut because its gooood stuff and i wanna talk about it more c;

dcstar7Today at 12:15 PM

i have a weird idea but

android rhys learning about human pregnancy and deciding he wants to carry jacks baby

jack snorts and thinks hes joking the first time he brings it up

but rhys keeps researching it and tries to upgrade his body to do it

gives jack a blowjob and stores his semen

TurkeyStar🦀🦄🦃🍂Today at 12:21 PM

omgomg rhyS

dcstar7Today at 12:22 PM

rhys likes figuring out and hacking his own system, installing updates on his own to change his anatomy

jacks like rhys. stop

TurkeyStar🦀🦄🦃🍂Today at 12:28 PM

i love this idea just bc the idea of rhys being like "i have learned about human pregnancy. Jack i want a baby"

dcstar7Today at 12:28 PM

yesssss

he just instantly goes from point a to point bl

earns about how humans have children. now he wants one

jack calls up tim like "man my android is trying to steal my spunk"

never a dull moment on helios

tho im sure once rhys figures it out jack changes his tune

well, eventuallyw

hen rhys gears up for his mission and jacks like woah woah hey what are you doing

rhys is like?? i am doing my mission?

jacks like yeah but youre uh. in delicate condition

emccoyToday at 12:55 PM

Lol

dcstar7Today at 12:55 PM

rhys doesnt understand

emccoyToday at 12:55 PM

Rhys is like I'm not delicate

dcstar7Today at 12:55 PM

i am not delicate

yep

emccoyToday at 12:55 PM

Jack has to explain the baby is

dcstar7Today at 12:55 PM

i am 60 kg heavier than you sir

my chassis can withstand 10000 newtons of force

yeah jacks like well maybe not YOU but the....baby...is

rhys frowns and touches his stomach. that is...problematic

TurkeyStar🦀🦄🦃🍂Today at 12:58 PM

"you wanted it!! those are the rules!!"

dcstar7Today at 12:58 PM

lolol rhys is like. but my mission!

he doesnt know what else to do if he cant do his mission D:

dcstar7Today at 1:00 PM

rhys figured he could go on his pandora missions AND have a baby. he didnt know itd be one or the other

emccoyToday at 1:01 PM

Jack is like" Okay kiddo, your new mission is to protect the baby."

dcstar7Today at 1:01 PM

rhys nods

of course

protect the hyperion heir! that will help jack

TurkeyStar🦀🦄🦃🍂Today at 1:02 PM

i feel like that just ends up with rhys slapping anyone who tries to touch his tummy to feel the baby kick

protecting!

dcstar7Today at 1:02 PM

rhys hooks himself up to the ECHOnet and learns how humans who have babies act

pffft someone tries to congratulate him and touch his belly and rhys judo chops them

jack! i protected the baby!

jack is just like. what did i do to deserve this

he just wanted a killbot that could double as eye candy

and now his android is pregnant

TurkeyStar🦀🦄🦃🍂Today at 1:04 PM

his fault for thinking he could live with something hot that kills for a living and not end up banging it

dcstar7Today at 1:04 PM

but rhys wasnt built to get pregnant

rhys did that himself

damn free will

rhys spends a lot of time sitting and poking his belly. how interesting

gives jack unnecessary updates"today the baby gained .02 grams jack!"

TurkeyStar🦀🦄🦃🍂Today at 1:05 PM

oomg

dcstar7Today at 1:06 PM

"and my fluid retention increased by 2%

"jacks like that sure is something thanks rhys

TurkeyStar🦀🦄🦃🍂Today at 1:06 PM

oomggggg jack would you like to see our child and then shows jack like a camera recording ro makes the skin on his belly clear or something

dcstar7Today at 1:07 PM

yup

jacks like

thats

thats creepy

rhys gets upset because jack called the baby creepy

TurkeyStar🦀🦄🦃🍂Today at 1:07 PM

jack is Unsettled

dcstar7Today at 1:07 PM

please dont do that again

i know rhys probably doesnt eat but maybe he gets cravings for inorganic things

jack comes home to find rhys snacking on a fork

emccoyToday at 2:14 PM

Lol

Okay but he does have to consume flueds with the right blances if vitamins minerals and sugars to keep the ambionic fluid correct

dcstar7Today at 2:16 PM

probably

im sure rhys doesnt really need to eat but he needs nutritional fluids

the baby needs help to grow

emccoyToday at 2:16 PM

Yep

dcstar7Today at 2:17 PM

rhys slurps these packets full of fluid

emccoyToday at 2:17 PM

Rhys complains about always having to change out and filter fluids

dcstar7Today at 2:17 PM

like a fucking capri sun

yup

he has a port on his thigh for replacement fluids, maybe he can have one near his belly too

emccoyToday at 2:17 PM

And Jack's like.... It would be 200x less unsettling if you just complained you were peeing all the time

dcstar7Today at 2:18 PM

rhys frowns. androids dont pee

maybe it would be easier....

emccoyToday at 2:19 PM

Don't over think it! I mean it's like peeing right? Your getting rid of liquid waste so it's pee

dcstar7Today at 2:20 PM

rhys has to manually remove the fluids from his port

like....weird dialysis

but if rhys drinks too much of the fluid too fast, then his system forces it back up

emccoyToday at 2:22 PM

Yep

dcstar7Today at 2:22 PM

jacks like ?????im pretty sure i didnt program you to know how to vomit

rhys is like...its not vomiting....my body is merely rejecting excess fluids

bleagh

emccoyToday at 2:32 PM

Lol

dcstar7Today at 2:33 PM

rhys needs new clothes

his bodysuit is stretchy but not this stretchy

tho him having a cute round belly in his bodysuit sounds perfect

jack probably has to remind him he needs new clothes

emccoyToday at 2:55 PM

lol

sorry my brain said Tim comes by to make a report looks Rhys and shakes his head saying Of course

dcstar7Today at 2:55 PM

rhys would have just going until it ripped

pfft

it would happen

comes into jacks office

and rhys is just sitting happily all cute and pregnant

chirps a casual hello to tim and tims like....right...stares at jack

emccoyToday at 2:57 PM

thinking you kinky weird fuck

He better not be going out and fighting like this

dcstar7Today at 2:57 PM

of course. jack would get his robot pregnant

jack put in an update in rhys

to make sure he doesnt leave helios

TurkeyStar🦀🦄🦃🍂Today at 2:58 PM

Jack's gotta defend himself. It wasnt his idea

dcstar7Today at 2:58 PM

rhys was the one with baby fever

TurkeyStar🦀🦄🦃🍂Today at 2:58 PM

The robot decided it all on his own

dcstar7Today at 2:58 PM

"i couldnt stop him, timmy"

"he was....like a machine!"

emccoyToday at 2:58 PM

LOL

dcstar7Today at 2:58 PM

"a baby making machine!"

TurkeyStar🦀🦄🦃🍂Today at 2:58 PM

"I'm sure you tried very hard, jack"

dcstar7Today at 2:59 PM

jack scowls and folds his arms. tim just doesnt get it. he stole his semen!

and gave himself baby making parts

rhys is a menace

dcstar7Today at 3:02 PM

eventually jack has to peel the bodysuit off him and make rhys change clothes

jack isnt sure whether to buy him new ones or just give him old ones

emccoyToday at 3:06 PM

dcstar7Today at 3:07 PM

sticks him in some sweatpants and an old hyperion shirt for now

rhys is a little charmed cause masters clothes

emccoyToday at 3:09 PM

yep!

TurkeyStar🦀🦄🦃🍂Today at 3:09 PM

Then jack cant get him out of them

emccoyToday at 3:09 PM

its Jacks clothing

dcstar7Today at 3:11 PM

rhys' olfactory sensors pick up on jacks scent and its pleasant

rhys happily lounges around in jacks clothes

hopes he doesnt grow out of these, he likes wearing them

#mpreg #god i love this idea a lot tbh #Anonymous

21 notes · View notes

hgfstreamchats · 6 years

Text

Dark Skies

thenightetc Hello! Me Hello there! thenightetc If a "Zarla" knocks on the stream door, she's a friend of mine I told about the stream Me Got it. Bunny1532651036604 Hello! Me Hello there! ThebesAce Ah, there we go, didn't have username set thenightetc Spider! 😀

ThebesAce spide~ thenightetc BIG FLUFFY girl Me Poke. thenightetc omg Me A troublemaker. Bunny1532651492398 Yo thenightetc Hi! ThebesAce hallo! Bunny1532651492398 wow. i do not like this lol thenightetc Awwwww ThebesAce well then you came just as it ended. thenightetc So! what are we in for with this one? thenightetc So! what are we in for with this one? Me Something we can all agree is terrifying. Jalaperilo ill only be here for a bit. still not 100% and also, not the biggest horror fan thenightetc Ohhh boy Me It's the quality of our shared horror experience that counts, not the quantity. thenightetc Very true. Me It's a good one if you don't care for horror. Short on gore, high on aliens. Jalaperilo i like old horror. From beyond, braindead. alien horror seems cool Me Never seen either of those! Are they good? thenightetc ...Is he watching porn ThebesAce yep Jalaperilo yes! Braindead is an early Peter Jackson film and From beyond is from the same director that did reanimator (and has a few recourring characters) thenightetc *relieved that the "schoolgirl" appears to be at least 30* Me Oooh! ThebesAce oh man, I remember Braindead! That movie gets so gross Jalaperilo ikr? so fun ThebesAce especially the bits with the priest Jalaperilo but i do think if you've never see them, watch reanimator and from beyond Me I do like Reanimator. thenightetc I've never seen it 😮 Jalaperilo people injecting bright green liquid and sending them crazy? lots of practice with that huh? Me Naturally! ThebesAce oh, Knockout, I have a wiki page for purposes of future so-bad-it's-hilarious movie nights Me Do tell! ThebesAce https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Syfy_original_films a complete list of Syfy Original movies thenightetc Well, that can't be good ThebesAce well, not 100% complete, but enough for entertainment Me Beautiful! thenightetc Well, that's productive Me That'll help something. thenightetc ...What. ThebesAce This is a thing that is happening thenightetc I'm unsettled Jalaperilo wasnt this a thing in ppoltergeist? the chairs being put on the table thenightetc At this point it's definitely beyond what a raccoon or something could accomplish Me At any rate, time to switch planets. Jalaperilo I WISH I COULD GO LIVE ON ANOTHER PLANET sorry, didnt means caps Me It was a sentiment worth yelling. Jalaperilo she drank can we just watch the sharks? thenightetc his terrible edifice of lies ThebesAce "I didn't lie. If I lied, I'd be the asshole here. So I didn't lie." SOUNDS LEGIT thenightetc Ha! Jalaperilo "i didnt lie" i said,you know, like a lier Me Hah! thenightetc Right? Jalaperilo this is more terrifying than anything else, an alarm going off in the middle of the night. happens to me too many times thenightetc Ohhhh dear Now go check the kitchen. ...Okay! That's fucked up Jalaperilo 'cause its the one thing you cant replace' lots of john mulaney shit happening lol ThebesAce HA Me Plot twist: John Mulaney was behind all of this. Jalaperilo ha! Jalaperilo i hate kids in horror. even if theyre not at fault, theyre al so creepy thenightetc So he's wrecking his kid's room because of a dream. Jalaperilo i hate this man thenightetc Yeah. ThebesAce I detect an arrogant asshat who makes everything about himself Jalaperilo lets see how he handles this thenightetc uh Me That's how I react whenever something leaks on my anatomy. Jalaperilo even breakdown? Me Especially Breakdown. thenightetc Poor bird. hey what the fuck! Maybe just LET the bank foreclose Jalaperilo i dont understand whats going on. like what is the bad things power? Me Childish pranks and an impassioned hatred of birds. ThebesAce birds are pretty easy to hate Jalaperilo maybe theyve seen birdemic Me Maybe let the bank take the boy, too. thenightetc What did he say? I couldn't quite hear The kid, I mean Jalaperilo he said im a creepy ass boy Me "Then I wasn't me anymore." thenightetc ...Ohhh Jalaperilo big mood thenightetc I keep expecting jumpscares Jalaperilo does no one turn the lights on? thenightetc ...HE didn't trigger the alarm when he went out ThebesAce We are officially in 'get him to an institution' territory. thenightetc So he definitely has some kind of implant or something, huh Or something laid eggs in his skin Jalaperilo or a slight allergy o his new shampoo thenightetc *facepalm* Me No, don't reward him for that! Jalaperilo fucking cliche as shit 'if a boy is mean he just likes you' fuck off and get in the sea ThebesAce right? thenightetc dude not the time Me "Let's do it while the aliens are watching." Jalaperilo sorry thebes, i keep reading your name as The besace as if it rhymes with vesace lol ThebesAce pfff well go ahead if it amuses you~ Jalaperilo that is my internal nick name for you now, thenightetc Of course they can fuck up cameras. Me In the most artistically haunting way possible, of course. thenightetc ...Kinda looks like they were going to each room in turn, too oh no Me I like how they just let her do that. Jalaperilo someone didnt wash her makeup off thenightetc Jesus Jalaperilo oh shit, it was real Me "Search" thenightetc Heh. "chosen" ThebesAce The graaays We got the Vok, but you got the grays. Jalaperilo how come most of the aliens out there are wither chill or war like, but the grays are the only creepy ass ones? ThebesAce oh, that's easy. They're trying decide between the two. thenightetc "thank god because I just lost mine" ThebesAce nothin' creepier than an unknown thenightetc oh jeez hope neither of them gets possessed during-- Me Or alternatively, both of them get possessed during and it qualifies as an orgy. thenightetc lights, get the lights ThebesAce I've read more than one story that works on that logic. Just now you'd throw in the grays thenightetc goddamn uh FUCK Me That's the only part of this movie that gets me. Jalaperilo turn on the goddamn lights!!! ThebesAce oh my god that's not how that works Jalaperilo well, im gonna go try to sleep, but its still 22 degrees C here with 76% humidity so i dunno how well ill sleep thenightetc yikes... good luck ThebesAce good luck with that friend! Me Good luck! Have a gray-free sleep! Jalaperilo i will tell you, today it rained for the first time in 55 days here asnd even then it was only 5 minutes so yeah. bad times in SE England if the grays have AC, ill let them take me ThebesAce yargh--I lived in London for a while, sounds like a nightmare thenightetc *shudder* Jalaperilo night! ThebesAce night! thenightetc "hey jackass, you got out of bed , walked out into the yard, and started leaking blood without knowing anything about it" Uh Jesus ThebesAce the straights are at it again thenightetc I THINK the orange tip means it's a fake gun But I'm not ENTIRELY sure Me There's a mood. thenightetc ...jesus really, why WOULDN'T he think they did it ...did she just start crying blood? thenightetc oh god oh no FUCK ThebesAce WELL THEN PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE Me And only three. No more, no less. thenightetc Three shall be the number of aliens,a nd the number of the aliens shall be three ThebesAce This is so weird watching this outdated science considering we just elected our first lizardman president. Me Hah! thenightetc Taking ol' Lincoln out of his chair Me Taking him on a joyride around the galaxy, snapping pictures on alien planets. Me Not very well, clearly. thenightetc he says that like he's *shudder8 thenightetc ...So... does he have any tips on "fighting", or...? ThebesAce BET THE GRAYS GOT TO HIS FRIENDS thenightetc Well, if they're lucky, they might "move on" to their friends.... "give him my eyes" Me Give him a few organs you don't need. thenightetc ...they've kind of... already shown they can get anywhere in the house Me "Don't split up." "Let's do exactly that!" thenightetc FUCK NOPE ThebesAce DON'T SPLIT THE PARTY thenightetc oh god oh god ThebesAce welllllll hell thenightetc ah. So Sammy wasn' tthe first one they contacted. Me Surprise! thenightetc and it just leaves it there!!! Me That it does! ThebesAce well then. That... went wrong for everyone involved to say the least Me Literally nothing went right. thenightetc don't like that, no sir yeah I noticed the Apple product placement there not the long list of others though Me Well, there we are! thenightetc Could we... watch something a little lighter to top it off? Little mood whiplash? Me Absolutely! Any requests? thenightetc Nothing I can think of thenightetc Ahhhh, 900 numbers targetting kids! Me This is what you get when you leave my to my own devices. thenightetc Of course, now we have pay-to-win phone games thenightetc I wonder what happened if you called the number ThebesAce Could be worse. Could be the Wow Wow Wibble Woggle Wazzie Woodle Woo Me You become the next Freddy Freaker. thenightetc Scary! "Vines that butter my croissant" *squints* Ooooo! Ooooo! ThebesAce this reminds me, I gotta snag me the new Jurassic Park game. It lets you let giant carnivores loose wherever the hell you want thenightetc Oh gosh I saw the most amazing Planet Coaster LP, but it's way too long (Over an hour, at least) Me Link? Maybe we'll watch it one of these nights! thenightetc Let me see if I can find it again... I'm sure I can, just gimme a minute thenightetc ...I come back and everything's on fire! thenightetc Alright, so, it's more like eight hours total, but anyway here's part 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QstYje84DaM for your amusement thenightetc So it's uh more of a slow burn Oh wow Me I'm intrigued! thenightetc PFFFF thenightetc I looked it up and that kind of thing isn't really enforceable ThebesAce I recognized that cartoon thing. That was the Land Before Time ripoff they show when they can't get the rights for Land Before Time thenightetc HA Me It's delightfully horrifying. Me I think that's a good place to close for tonight! ThebesAce agreed, thanks for having us! thenightetc Yes And thank you! Wait Could you... hover over that third one The "top 100" thing Aha Thanks, I just wanted to see what that was Me Not a problem! Thank you all for coming, as always! thenightetc I didn't know GTA had a bulldozer thing to shove people off a board Me I didn't either until exactly this second. ThebesAce no, no, that's just to emphasize the fail it's GTA V compilation they do not have those graphics thenightetc I mean, ThebesAce whoop, got you might have been joking, my brain skipped there thenightetc I kind of want to know where they got that art though Anyway! Goodnight, and thanks again. ThebesAce good night! Thanks! Me Good night!

0 notes

trendyelle · 7 years

Text

What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a ripen adult considers their body like a trashcan, then you realise the daily contend that is doing whatever the fuck you want while also wanting to have a great body and enormous surface. Lifes hard whether it wishes to get fucked up at Superintendents Ball but too gaze 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not going to see Gov Ball, though I did waste the weekend going through mimosas like water and devouring enough food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a new me. A better me. A me who throws actual vitamins and minerals into her organisation so her skin doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she feed last night. So heres a list of foods you are able to escape like an ex-boyfriend slipping into your DMs and foods you are able to espouse because theyll specify your fucking face. Damn, Ive get bars. DONT: Feed Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even ingests canned fleshes anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird infatuation with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a ruby-red fucking pennant that this boy was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always bragging about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in their own homes and induces your figure to hold on to ocean, which is why your face is always puffy or you have pocketed under your eyes that can be seen from cavity, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and likewise be hateful on Instagram, dining salmon is a sure style to get better gazing skin. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty acids and healthy fats. These fattens strengthen cadre tissues and nourish the skin to obstruct you ogling fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol only because you regularly say shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre drinking to cleanse your form are actually genuinely fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as inferno, specially the dark-green juices which can have up to 50 grams of carbohydrate in their own homes, which is actual destruction when it comes to having clear skin. ^ I envisage every fitstagrammer when the catch out they’ve been pumping liquid carbohydrate into their tabernacles bodies DO: Booze A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the red-hot tutor at your gym, protein smoothies can actually be beneficial for your surface. The more you know. Remain away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These the different types of smoothies are high in healthy fats and wont leave your surface gazing more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I insured coming. Nothing that savours this good can be anything but destruction on your mas. And since Im not on my date rn in control of my figure I approximate Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which are able to way this fun stuff called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your body. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with the most are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy ogling. So mostly ingesting ice cream is aging you.* steps into oncoming traffic* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your scalp. So although it is appreciations health and the whole era youll be pleasing you two are gobbling real chocolate with real flavor at least your surface will look good AF and be protected against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick pun. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you likewise want me to commit homicide the next time someone replies everyone to a department email series? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my psyche around because coffee is literally one of the only grounds I get out of bunked in the morning, and therefore, the same reasons you get to experience this shining identity. That being said, coffee is a diuretic( fake report Im sure !) which causes your mas to lose liquid and your scalp to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you want glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republican plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though future prospects of drinking hot lemon liquid sounds about as seducing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super good for you. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and presents some very much support efforts to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies their own bodies and if youre full of poisons boozing on eras that intent in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have nice things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally was well received by such lists. Like, is person looking at my bank proclamation and seeing that I expend a great amount of my down time in coffee shop and/ or bagel stores? Because Im feeling certainly attacked rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your surface and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for periods.* prays this is imitation bulletin* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id preferably starve than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the price we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial-grade. Oats are the right various kinds of carbs probs because it examines miserable to eat and also because its high in antioxidants which weve fixed will not only give you clear/ glowy skin but likewise pushes against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To absolutely no ones astonish except my own because I refuse to read labels written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my gaiety, soda are detrimental to you. And only because you booze diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda specially disrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your gut. Also drinking any kind of soda can really fuck with your surface. Like, induce rosacea, eczema, and acne fuck with your skin. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Likewise, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant precisely booze vodka straight-shooting. I want to have clearer scalp , not expire. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that searches good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my scalp. About damn day. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all your life troubles. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you want clear surface by the time this weekend’s brunch reels around then chug some of this and simulate like its alcohol something you enjoy drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you exuberance is possibly fucking up your scalp and you are able to cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not represent the inventory, but thats predominantly because I refused to do any actual research that would support otherwise. Who says you cant shape your own predestination? Listen, if all else neglects and you have no self see dont want to relinquish your prosperity theres ever Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-21/

0 notes

thedietian · 7 years

Text

Candida Treatment Solution – Candida Crusher – Permanent Yeast Infection Solution

Product Name: Candida Treatment Solution – Candida Crusher – Permanent Yeast Infection Solution

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Description:

Note! – Check what’s inside candida crusher candida treatment book. CLICK HERE to check inside the book.

Are you suffering from any of these SYMPTOMS? Causing disruption in YOUR LIFE?

If YOU are suffering from any of these symptom(s) then you have candida yeast infections.

My name is Eric Bakker and I am a naturopathic doctor, I have specialized in the diagnosis and treatment of yeast infections for over twenty years. I’ve seen every type of Candida infection that exists, and the list of symptoms you just read are some of the major signs and symptoms of candida yeast infection and they are also some of the constant symptoms I hear from every patient with candida yeast infection when they come to see me at my clinic. And these symptoms can lead to various issues in life, below you will find complaints I hear from candida patients I see on daily basis any of these ring a bell?

it is destroying my home, my family and my pets

Uncomfortable, disturbing, feeling dirty , uneasy….in severe days, feel like dying. But is only when you hv this very frust n disturbing I will just says dying is better but I won’t take my life. Just a saying. Doc im here to get rid of this problem.

It hurts soo bad. I want to cry.

No one understands or believe I’m sick

The overall ill feeling and when doctors can’t find something wrong with me and think it’s in my head is driving me totally crazy.

I can’t find anything that will make my symptoms go away. I’ve tried diet changes, supplements, biofeedback, acupuncture, and anything else I hear about.

Can not wear certain things, burning when urination, itchy, swelling, and the discharge including smell bf is tired of me.

Cannot sleep,bloated tummy,weight gain,itchy body,skin rash on face, always constipated and tired, always feeling sick and have no confidence in any thing or at anytime. having white coating on the tongue with black pigmennt on the sides. smelly disc

I can’t have sex and it makes me feel awful mentally and physically,

I cannot have a healthy sexual relationship with my boyfriend. I am always self conscious.

I constantly have a nasty smell under me. Sometimes when its hot I start to feel a mucky substance down there.

wear my hair over my ears so people can’t see my flakey, red, blotchy outer ears… only my son cuts my hair… always itchy… have edema in my legs that never goes down now… bloated stomach… can’t lose weight i am here to seek your help.

A severe fatigue, weak muscles, lack of coordination, dizziness, diahhear, GI distress, anorxia. lowe grade temperature elevations on a frequent basis and basically just feeling weak and tired all owver, help pls.

Aggrevated by, Interferes with and causes discomfort during sexual activity Digestive problems Chronic presence, nothing helped me

Being so uncomfortable and the fact that there is no physical home test and no permanent cure for this infection

I have heard tens and thousands of these complains and how candida can totally RUIN ONES LIFE and brings HAVOC.

I have been asked by many people, how did it all start, why did you spend so much time writing such a comprehensive book on treatment of candida yeast infections? It all started with my own personal experience of developing a severe yeast infection in 1985, and taking approximately one and a half years to get my health back. I was in constant pain due to persistent itch, brain fog, bloating, gas, fatigue, and feeling unwell all the time. My GF left me, I lost my job and I was told by doctor to see a psychologist because I was losing myself.

I could remember days when I just couldn’t sit next to my girlfriend due to constant bloating, gas and itch around my skin. It was driving me nuts. Every time I would sit next to someone the gas/bloating would start and I had to just get somewhere quiet to let the gas go. There was no relief just constant pain. Symptoms vary from person to person but for most of us (men) itching in the private part/skin, bloating, gas, feeling unwell and tired all the time is a major sign of candida yeast infection. And it’s not just me or you who was/is going through all this read these complaints from my candida patients:

chronic stomach pain, not being able to eat anything at all without out feeling full after just a few bits and severe constant pain in upper abdomen.

constant headaches and distant very agitated all the time and angry

Constant itching in my ears, causing me to scratch my ear canals in my sleep

Constant tiredness and joint pain; intense stomach pain followed by days of sore throat; acidy feeling through whole digestive system from throat to urinary tract, etc..

Difficulties when urinating,after urinating I still feel like I want to urinate.

dizziness and fatigue all the time – restless in the middle of night, waking up 2-3 times a night weird sudden little pains in wrist area, legs feeling heavy – dry mouth w/white tongue residue, gum and right ear ache – right nostril always congested

everytime i have sex i get a bladder infection, the pain,swellings ontop of my vagina and my vulva the frustrations of itching and leaking and the worries of transferring it to my partner

Feeling drained and tired throughout. The fact that it reoccurs and doctors keep saying its staph.

Fuzzy/dizziness, blurring of eye vision , unexplainable pains in my joints, 80% of the time no energy, feeling depress for no reason, constipation, dry mouth, right ear ache – right nose nostril always stays congested, wake up from sleep as least 2-3

Having numerous symptoms which I am sure are linked but when I go to the doctor they sound mild and are not taken seriously, but as a whole I feel very under-the-weather and unwell.

Back to my story, I found no satisfaction when it came asking for help from my doctor, and my naturopath could not offer much assistance either, apart from a very basic low-carbohydrate diet and a few supplements. It took me eighteen months to get well by myself after studying and carefully applying the principles that were popular at the time, from Dr. William Crook and Dr. Orion Truss.

In addition, I grew up witnessing my father experiencing a chronic yeast infection spanning more than twenty years; he was addicted to bread and sweet foods; lived a high stress lifestyle and took many antibiotics and various other drugs for his ailments, most of which were stress induced. Dad spent countless thousands of dollars with gastroenterologists who could find “no cause” for his continual ill health. He was not interested in looking for the cause, nor interested in natural medicine, and the symptomatic treatments his doctors offered only included more drugs that ensured his candida remained rampant. Not one doctor ever mentioned diet or lifestyle factors, let alone acknowledged that he even had a yeast-related problem. This taught me early on of the importance of establishing and dealing with the exciting or initiating cause (antibiotics and high stress lifestyle) and in addition to identify and deal with the maintaining causes (diet, drugs and a continuing high stress lifestyle) if I was going to help my patients fully recover. Here are more complaints any of these sound familiar?

I feel excessively tired. I get hungry shortly after meals. I have recurring health problems that the doctors find no results for.

i feel itchy in and around vagina and white liquid comes out.the liquid has a quite bad smell.i want to rub hard around and on my vagina.

I get them frequently and have for years whether I’m sexually active or not and I don’t know what else to do to prevent them. It takes longer to get rid of them and no doctor can tell me why I get them.

i hate feeling yuck every day an not having much energy to do things

I have them so often and it hurts to have sex with my husband

I just want it to go as soon as possible. I dislike not being perfectly okay.

I seem to never get rid of what I believe to be vaginal bacterial infections. It affects my husband and I’s sex life because it is extremely irritated down there frequently, and I almost always get a UTI after we have sex. I’ve tried all sorts of stuff

Im so uncomfortable, I cant wear underwear cuz they make feel wet or sticky my people skills are horrible because Im so insecure that someone notice how figity I am due my discomfort. Sometimes I cant even wear my regular jeans bcuz they rub me wrong

It’s unbelievably itchy and irritant to walk or run and even being still I can feel the need to itch or stinging feeling

itchiness all over my body (back of neck, thighs, butt, arms, etc). after scratching, i’m left with large welts. it looks like i was whipped.

itching all day even when working, hard to focus, embarassing, distracting

Itching and burning, not being in a normal every day condition.

I began giving advice about candida related health problems more than 25 years ago when I was a student of naturopathy and soon specialized in yeast infections the moment I began to see patients in the early 1990’s. Once people knew I had an interest in yeast infections, I was beginning to see an increasing amount of people with all kinds of acute and chronic yeast-related health problems. After many initial years of only having partial success with candida, I began to feel a sense of frustration because I didn’t want my patients to experience the same level of frustration, anxiety and depression I did when I visited doctors and my naturopath when I had chronic candida, and for them to experience only partial results, relapsing back into a chronic state time and again with little hope of one day experiencing a full recovery.

My desire over the years was to develop a simple yet highly effective yeast infection treatment plan, a permanent yeast solution. This set me on the path that has finally culminated in Candida Crusher today. I initially started to learn by clinical research as well as trialing the many established yeast infection treatment methods, and by sheer trial and error over a prolonged period of time I slowly but surely began to develop my own methods. And today people consult me from over thirty different countries with all manner of yeast infections.

But how did I get this knowledge? My patients have been my best teachers, and by remaining in clinic for more than twenty years and specializing in yeast infections you soon learn from experience what works and what doesn’t and begin to fine tune a program based on these collective experiences.

In addition to my clinical experiences, there has been much time invested with many health-care professionals, taking into account their clinical experiences, looking at the methods they found most helpful when treating yeast infections. Every practitioner has his or her own professional experience to share and it is the combination of these many shared and accumulated experiences from both patient treatments and practitioner relationships that I have distilled into Candida Crusher, hard earned knowledge from which I hope you will gain valuable insights into your own yeast-related health concerns.

lack of concentration, drowsiness, mental health problems, acne, bad taste in the mouth, coated tongue, sore throat in the morning, athlete’s foot between the toes

My biggest frustration when suffering from yeast infection is the rubbing of my underwear its irritating and there are stains on all of my underwears.

My itching vulva while trying to sleep. I have tested positive for candida parapsilosis and have been battling candida for over 15 years. I eat healthy, use garlic, p robotics and herbs and still can’t seem to eradicate this yeast. It is flucanazole that caused all this i think.

My stomach always hurting me. It gets very bloated & sore to touch. I get lots of gas & pain. I don’t enjoy food anymore & always feel tired after eating.

My symptoms mainly were burning tongue, psoriasis of the hands, and face and around my eyes, which would water and burn and itch in that order…resulting in a fine rash under my eyes. Intense itching in my groin area (externally). I have had a lot more help me.

My vagina is very Itchy and sometimes burning when I urinate. I have a discharge sometimes is looks yellow and other times it looks like cottage cheese.

Not being able to have sex and suffering from a yeast infection almost everyday!!!!

Not knowing how to fix the problems and having so many days where my stomach hurts to the point where I just want to stay in bed.

Overall feeling so very CRAPPY…Yucky; and no enthusiasim about much of anything.

Let me show you how it is possible to not only overcome these symptoms but also how to treat your chronic yeast infection, and also how and more importantly why a candida yeast infection can literally ruin your chances of having a happy life, or the life of your partner or child and why you need to do something about it TODAY!

I’ll also explain why yeast infections are so difficult to eradicate, and the secrets to getting well and help you find a permanent solution to your yeast infection.

If you find yourself reading this page, then you may well be trying to self-diagnose if you have a yeast infection, or are suffering with a candida overgrowth right now, suffering from a condition that can be fully resolved. There are some easy and highly effective ways for you to get well completely and recover entirely from a Candida yeast infection, and chances are that you have come to this page to find that solution. You have come to the right page in that case!

Perhaps you are a person who has only recently figured out that he or she has a yeast infection? You will be able to click on many different links on this page and then be able to read the information you were looking for. Candida yeast infections are NOT like simple bacterial infections, it is not just a matter of taking a few pills like an antibiotic for a couple of days to knock-out this infection!

On the other hand, you could be a person who has been dealing with a yeast infection for some time and have taken probiotics or an antifungal supplement like garlic, oregano oil, grapefruit seed extract, SF 722, Syntol, Candeze, etc; only to discover you get partial relief, and become unwell time again down the track? It looks like you are looking for an effective and quick solution! There are plenty of options on this page too.

Maybe you are one of those people who has been suffering with a chronic yeast infection for many years and have tried every trick in the book to get rid of it. You may have spent thousands of dollars like so many patients I have seen over the years. But what is even worse than wasting all this money; the fact that you are wasting your life and ruining any chances of a happy life by not curing your yeast infection.

persistent mucous coughing poor memory tiredness sensitivity to chenicals cravings

prescriptions I have received should have indicated for no longer than 2 weeks. I was not aware of the steroids in the medicine. Due to improper instructions certain areas my skin has become extremely thin and sensitive.

Reduced enjoyment and frequency of intercourse due to itching and burning

Roller coaster of feelings; anxiety, tiredness, moody, irritable, depression, just not feeling self.

Scrotum…groin area itch..get rashly..then better..then starts over

sense of having lost libido/general lack of energy/strength/endurance/

Severe bloating. Look like I’m pregnant.

severe itching making me uncomfortable,unable to feel free

sore most of the time not finding help im sick and tired of having no quality of life i have had candida for 20 some yrs i will be eternally grateful if you help me.

That can I never be the same or happy….I’m always worried what people will smell and think i am some dirty women.

The anxiety/depression, headaches, slight chest pains, intrusive thoughts. I have tried everything to get rid of this infection nothing has worked.

The embarrassment of telling someone you’ve just started dating that you have problems down there.

The fact that my gut is always bloated out and I am constantly constipated no matter what I eat.

The feeling of being unable to accomplish anything because I can’t concentrate, stay focused or remember anything. I’ve had to give up my job and try to find my own answers to my severe health problems because the doctors I’ve visited don’t know

the frustration of not gettng rid of it and the uncomfortable feeling it gives you which turns your normal life into hell.

The itching and burning, have had chronic vaginal yeast infections before and everything I tried didn’t work to get rid of it until I bleached all of my underwear and completed an oral treatment and topical vaginal treatment at the same time which worked for a while and then it came back.

The itching is the biggest frustration. Along with not feeling like myself. Tired, irritable, moody, just an overall feeling of un wellness.

The itching. It’s almost unbearable at times. Also, the discharge is kind of gross and I always have to wear a panty liner.

The numerous food allergies that make eating a healthy diet very challenging. Seems like I have only a handful of foods I can eat without feeling horrible. Also the lack of energy to get anything done.

The odor it gives off, the white stuff that comes out of my virgina, and the internal itching is at a level i want to just die its painful and embarassing.

The struggle to cure the problem. It usually takes at least six days for treatment to work, and there is no guarantee that the treatment I choose is the correct formula to treat it. This causes a major rift in my sex life antibiotics made it worst for me.

This has destroyed my sex life with my wife. She consistently treats but gets yeast infections. I am thinking its me because she get them EVERY time no matter how gentle I am. Found you online and why i am seeking your aide.

white tongue with dark pigment on sides, constipated,weight gain bigger tummy, tired. itchy skin and rash on face. no confidence and concentration , feeling sick and drained, foggy vision

The answer to all these questions: Candida Crusher – Permanent Yeast Infection Solution

The Candida Crusher Program will be of enormous benefit to all people who are sincere in their attempts in wanting a permanent solution to their yeast infection. But naturally, not everybody will achieve the same level of results, because an individual’s results and outcomes are dependent on many factors.

Candida Crusher took three years to complete after constant requests from many patients who have been eagerly waiting for my book on yeast infection treatment. I trust that you will find plenty of useful information in my book, and put the information to good use. Knowledge is important, but it is only when this knowledge is faithfully applied that it is of any true benefit, and I trust that those who purchase Candida Crusher faithfully apply this hard earned knowledge for their own benefit. Results are sure to come with those who are sincere, but there is ample information in Candida Crusher on what to do “if all else fails”.

Dr. Bakker’s book takes Candida treatment to the level it needs to be taken. It is a breakthrough book for this generation like Dr. William Crooks books were to the generation of the 1980s.

Leading Authority & Expert on Adrenal Fatigue

Dr. Bakker’s book is a well-researched, intelligent analysis of the problem of candida overgrowth, which is more common than realized. The recommendations for diagnosis and treatment are rational and clinically effective.

Dr. Mitchell A. Fleisher, M.D., D.Ht., D.A.B.F.M., Dc.A.B.C.T.

Author of Alternative DrMCare Natural Medical Self-Care Protocols

Dr. Bakker has assembled the authoritative volume on all things Cadidiasis. This remarkable resource offers a comprehensive holistic approach to treating the underlying causes of all forms of acute and chronic Candida infections. Candida Crusher doubles as both a valuable self-help book and a serious professional guide that has something to offer for all families and health care practitioners. I highly recommend it to people suffering from candida yeast infections.

Author of Green Medicine: Challenging the Assumptions of Conventional Health Care & Writer at HuffingtonPost

Note! – Check what’s inside candida crusher candida treatment book. CLICK HERE to check inside the book.

Hi Eric, Thank you for helping me with a problem which has been causing me grief for many years – my toenails. Ever since I can remember I have had awfully smelly toes. I have tried every lotion and potion I could find and thanks to your Candida Crusher program can now say that I can finally believe that soon I will be free from athlete’s foot. Look at the improvement! You asked me for a photo so here it is. I can recommend your services to anyone who has tried everything else. And Eric, don’t hesitate to catch up with me when you come to Brisbane next. Regards, Gary Nulfield, Brisbane, Australia (Picture Hidden for Privacy Reasons)

Athlete’s Foot – Cured Hi Eric, I just wanted to share with you how happy I am to finally be able to see healthy toenails after more than 30 years of awful, terrible athlete’s feet and discoloured and terrible misshapen toenails. You did promise me that in time my toenails would grow out to be normal again, but I never ever believed that it would really happen! But the interesting this is that we didn’t really treat my feet, but my digestion which I cannot get over. My allergies have disappeared and my digestion is back to normal, all in the span of 6 months, I still can’t believe it, I am absolutely thrilled!! I wish you all the best with your candida book, your advice and information was certainly worth it for me. I just wish I could have gotten a copy, but you mentioned that you were almost finished writing it. Sheryl Livingstone, 48yrs, Sydney, Australia (Picture Hidden For Privacy Reasons)

“I now recommend your wonderful Candida Crusher program to everybody” Hi Eric, I want to personally thank you for the work you are doing by educating and helping people like me. For the last 5 months I have been following your Candida Crusher diet and lifestyle program and especially the stress recommendations. It took a good two months to really notice the results. My aches (including headaches) I used to experience in my neck and back have all but gone and so has the annoying rash in my groin region that I used to have. But the best thing of all is that my bloated belly and gas (which is still there but a fraction of what it used to be like) is all but gone! I now recommend your wonderful Candida Crusher program to everybody who complains of digestive problems especially, regardless of their type of digestive complaint. I once had no faith whatsoever in your type of medicine but can honestly say that your treatment worked for me and I know it can help others out there who have problems like I had. I live in England and next time I come to New Zealand want to come and visit you for a personal consultation, my daughter (who sent me a link to your yeast infection website) now lives in Auckland. Thank you for the time you spent with me over the past several months. Jack Allen, 62yrs, Orpington, London

“I’ve not only got rid of my yeast infection, I’ve lost 16 pounds!” Hello Eric, I am Karen aged 45, and yes, you can use my “story”, I hope it helps other people just like me out there overcome their yeast problems. I had been battling a candida infection for the past eight years at least. I came across your name and your candida program through my friend but had doubts as to whether you could help me, I honestly had tried just about every pill, product and treatment under the sun! But I’m glad I did, or I would have never gotten rid of this crippling condition. It took about four weeks to notice improvements and I must say I never experienced results like this with any other treatment or pill I tried. I can now save money on treatments and no more doctor visits or drugs like (which made me feel sick) or those messy creams I kept using with little results. BTW – I’ve not only lost my yeast infection, I’ve also lost nearly eight kilos (16 pounds) in weight! Thanks and God Bless! Karen Caruso, 45yrs, Brisbane, Australia (Picture Hidden For Privacy Reasons)

“Terrible Stomach Pains – All Gone” Dear Dr. Bakker, I visited your clinic in 2007 on a holiday to see my sister in your area with terrible stomach pains and very itchy skin. I craved sweet foods and as a chef found it really hard to stop eating sweet deserts. My health had been terrible for a quit a a few years, and all the doctors could do was keep on giving me antibiotics. Your Candida Crusher program was a true godsend and helped me within two weeks! I have now been free of digestive pains and have felt the best I have in many years, thank you so much for all your professional help and personal engagement, I really appreciate it. Kate Veenstra – Melbourne, Australia

My name is Olivia and I live in Auckland, NZ. I have been following your Candida Crusher Program. It was completely mind blowing, because I knew there was something wrong with me, but I just couldn’t explain what or even why! Everything you had written in your articles is exactly how I have been feeling for decades. After doing the different home ttests that you had suggested, it was definitely the confirmation I needed. Thank you for writing such a great series on candida articles! Regards, Olivia, Auckland, NZ

“A Passionate Health-Care Professional” Thanks very much for your time and the info. I always come out of talking to you feeling so much better, having all my questions answered – and providing so much more info on my candida and digestive issues as well. It is such a pleasure (and a relief!) to know you and to at last be in touch with a real, genuine, knowledgeable and passionate natural health ‘professional’ Lindsay, 55yrs, Wellington, NZ

“Thank you for helping me to solve your digestive problems” Hi Eric, Matt here, I can not thank you enough for helping me solve my digestion problems. I have had just over two weeks avoiding the foods I am not supposed to have and have started your Candida Crusher program and I feel great to say the least. My stomach no longer hurts, I have energy again and my mental health almost instantly switched back to normal and I have not suffered any depression since. I would like to organize a time to call you for a phone consult to make sure I am giving my body everything it needs and I would also like to discuss the bowel as I still have some bloating and still not forming solid stool. Matt, 27yrs, Gold Coast – Australia (Picture Hidden for Privacy Reasons)

The book is exactly 718 pages.

Candida Crusher costs what it does because it took just over three years to research and write, and is based on treating over 15,000 yeast infected patients spanning twenty-five years. Candida Crusher is quite possibly the most comprehensive self-help manual on yeast infections written to date. Unlike some books of its kind, it is not half-filled with recipes, but is packed with countless hints and tips not found anywhere else on yeast infection recovery.

Candida Crusher comes in a PDF format. Which can be read with Adobe Acrobat.

About 5 to 10 minutes. Once the payment is verified you will be redirected to our download page.

Of course you can! I have a sixty-days (60) refund policy, if you don’t like my book and can’t honestly see how it could change your life for the better, then please let us know within two months and we will refund your money in full. But do remember, if you are serious about finally beating your yeast infection and follow my program faithfully, it is highly likely that you will beat your yeast infection permanently. And isn’t that worth the small price you paid for a book that took me three years of writing and research, after treating over fifteen thousand patients spanning twenty-five years? Of course you can get a refund, but I doubt you will want your money back after seeing the real value you will get from Candida Crusher when you compare it to any other e-book on yeast infection you may have seen or have bought before.

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The website’s content and the product for sale is based upon the author’s opinion and is provided solely on an “AS IS” and “AS AVAILABLE” basis. You should do your own research and confirm the information with other sources when searching for information regarding health issues and always review the information carefully with your professional health care provider before using any of the protocols presented on this website and/or in the product sold here. Neither ClickBank nor the author are engaged in rendering medical or similar professional services or advice via this website or in the product, and the information provided is not intended to replace medical advice offered by a physician or other licensed healthcare provider. You should not construe ClickBank’s sale of this product as an endorsement by ClickBank of the views expressed herein, or any warranty or guarantee of any strategy, recommendation, treatment, action, or application of advice made by the author of the product.

No content on this site may be reused in any fashion without written permission of Dr. Bakker. The information and facts are intended to help and support, not replace, the relationship that exists between you and your doctor.

PO Box 8739, HaveLock North, 4157 New Zealand

Click here to get Candida Treatment Solution – Candida Crusher – Permanent Yeast Infection Solution at discounted price while it’s still available…

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trendyelle · 7 years

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What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a matured adult treats their body like a trashcan, then you realise the daily contend that is doing whatever the fuck off want while also wanting to have a great figure and enormous skin. Lifes hard when you want to get fucked up at Ministers Ball but likewise search 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not going to see Gov Ball, though I did waste the weekend “re going through” mimosas like water and eating sufficient food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a brand-new me. A better me. A me who sets actual vitamins and minerals into her structure so her skin doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she ate last nighttime. So heres a directory of meat you should escape like an ex-boyfriend slipping into your DMs and foods you should embrace because theyll tie your fucking heads. Damn, Ive got bars. DONT: Ingest Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even ingests canned meats anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird obsession with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a red-faced fucking flag that this minor was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always bragging about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in their own homes and induces your person to hold on to sea, which is why your face is always puffy or you have bags under your eyes that can be seen from infinite, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and also be hateful on Instagram, dining salmon is a sure style to get better seeming skin. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty acids and healthy fats. These fatties strengthen cell tissues and nourish the surface to preserve you ogling fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol precisely because you often say shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre drinking to cleanse your organization are actually really fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as hell, specially the green juices which are able to have up to 50 grams of sugar in them, which is actual destruction when it is necessary to having clear scalp. ^ I thoughts every fitstagrammer when the catch out they’ve been spouting liquid sugar into their tabernacles bodies DO: Booze A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the red-hot manager at your gym, protein smoothies can actually be beneficial for your skin. The more you are familiar with. Abide away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These types of smoothies are high in healthy fats and wont leave your scalp appearing more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I read coming. Nothing that savor this good can be anything but sabotage on your figure. And since Im not on my interval rn in control of my figure I suspect Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which can model this fun situation called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your person. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with the most are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy seeming. So basically ingesting ice cream is aging you.* paces into oncoming commerce* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your skin. So even though it appreciations health and the whole period youll be bidding you two are ingesting real chocolate with real flavor at the least your surface will appear good AF and protection against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick gag. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you too want me to commit homicide the next time person replies all to ministries and departments email chain? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my psyche around because coffee is literally one of the only reasonableness I get out of bunked in the morning, and consequently, the reason you get to experience this gleaming personality. That being said, coffee is a diuretic( bogus word Im sure !) which causes your person to lose sea and your surface to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you crave glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republican plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though the prospect of drinking hot lemon sea sounds about as seducing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super good for you. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and hands some very much support to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies their own bodies and if youre full of poisons boozing on dates that intent in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have neat things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally was well received by this list. Like, is someone looking at my bank account and be careful to ensure that I waste a great amount of my down time in coffee shop and/ or bagel shops? Because Im appearing actually criticized rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your skin and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for dates.* prays this is phony information* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id instead starve than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the rate we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right kind of carbs probs because it looks miserable to eat and also because its high in antioxidants which weve substantiated will not only give you clear/ glowy skin but too crusades against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To utterly no ones astonish except my own because I refuse to read labels written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my delight, soda are detrimental to you. And only because you booze diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda especially disrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your gut. Likewise boozing any kind of soda can really fuck with your scalp. Like, stimulate rosacea, eczema, and acne fuck with your skin. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Likewise, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant only drink vodka straight-out. I want to have clearer skin , not die. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that appears good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my scalp. About damn experience. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all your life questions. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you miss clear surface by the time this weekend’s brunch rollings around then chug some of this and claim like its alcohol something you experience drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you glee is perhaps fucking up your scalp and you are able to cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not form the inventory, but thats mostly because I refused to do any actual study that would support otherwise. Who says you cant constitute your own destiny? Listen, if all else fails and you have no self restrict dont want to sacrifice your gaiety theres always Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-19/

0 notes

trendyelle · 7 years

Text

What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a grow adult considers their body like a trashcan, then you recognize the daily skirmish that is doing whatever the fuck you crave while at the same time wanting to have a great torso and enormous scalp. Lifes hard whether it wishes to get fucked up at Heads Ball but also ogle 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not going to see Gov Ball, though I did waste the weekend going through mimosas like water and feeing enough food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a new me. A better me. A me who throws actual vitamins and minerals into her structure so her skin doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she chewed last-place nighttime. So heres a index of nutrients you are able to evade like an ex-boyfriend slipping into your DMs and foods you should cuddle because theyll determine your fucking heads. Damn, Ive went bars. DONT: Feed Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even devours canned meat anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird obsession with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a ruby-red fucking pennant that this boy was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always boasting about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in their own homes and effects your form to hold on to liquid, which is why your appearance is always puffy or you have pouched under your eyes that can be seen from cavity, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and likewise be obnoxious on Instagram, ingesting salmon is a sure route to get better looking surface. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty battery-acids and healthy fats. These fats strengthen cadre tissues and nourish the scalp to hinder you looking fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol precisely because you routinely say shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre boozing to purge your person are actually really fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as hell, especially the green juices which can have up to 50 grams of sugar in them, which is actual destruction when it is necessary to having clear scalp. ^ I reckon every fitstagrammer when the catch out they’ve been spouting liquid carbohydrate into their tabernacles bodies DO: Suck A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the red-hot coach at your gym, protein smoothies can actually be beneficial for your scalp. The more you know. Bide away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These the different types of smoothies are high in healthy fats and wont leave your skin appearing more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I realized coming. Good-for-nothing that savor this good can be anything but sabotage on your person. And since Im not on my span rn in control of my mas I predict Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which can chassis this fun situation called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your torso. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with the most are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy ogling. So basically ingesting ice cream is age you.* steps into oncoming traffic* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your surface. So although it is tastes healthy and the whole meter youll be caring you two are chewing real chocolate with real flavor at least your surface will appear good AF and be protected against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick gag. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you also want me to commit homicide the next time person responds all to a department email series? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my mentality around because coffee is literally one of the only grounds I get out of bed in the morning, and therefore, the same reasons you get to experience this sparkling personality. That being said, coffee is a diuretic( imitation information Im sure !) which causes your organization to lose water and your skin to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you require glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republican plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though future prospects of booze red-hot lemon water know it sounds as seducing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super good for you. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and pays some very much support to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies the body and if youre full of toxins sucking on daytimes that point in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have nice things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally was well received by such lists. Like, is person looking at my bank explanation and be careful to ensure that I expend a great amount of my down time in coffee shop and/ or bagel browses? Because Im find truly attacked rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your scalp and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for daytimes.* prays this is imitation word* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id instead starve than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the rate we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right various kinds of carbs probs because it appears miserable to eat and too because its high in antioxidants which weve built will not only give you clear/ glowy skin but likewise campaigns against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To utterly no ones astound except my own because I refuse to read labels written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my pleasure, soda is bad for you. And simply because you booze diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda specially disrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your bowel. Likewise boozing any sort of soda can really fuck with your scalp. Like, crusade rosacea, eczema, and acne fuck with your scalp. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Too, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant simply suck vodka straight-from-the-shoulder. I want to have clearer surface , not expire. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that ogles good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my skin. About damn era. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all their own lives difficulties. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you miss clear scalp by the time this weekend’s brunch wheels around then chug some of this and feign like its alcohol something you enjoy drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you joyfulnes is possibly fucking up your scalp and you should cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not acquire the register, but thats mostly because I refused to do any actual research that would attest otherwise. Who says you cant establish your own fate? Listen, if all else fails and you have no self ensure dont wishes to relinquish your happiness theres ever Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-9/

0 notes

trendyelle · 7 years

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What To Eat For Clear Skin& What Foods Will Wreak Havoc On Your Face

If youre anything like me, someone who is a grow adult treats their body like a trashcan, then you acknowledge the daily struggle that is doing whatever the fuck you miss while also wanting to have a great person and great surface. Lifes hard when you want to get fucked up at Governors Ball but likewise ogle 100 years old in your Instagram story. Not that I would know. I did not going to see Gov Ball, though I did expend the weekend going through mimosas like water and snacking enough food to get me my own TLC reality show. That being said, I want to change. I want to be a brand-new me. A better me. A me who throws actual vitamins and minerals into her method so her surface doesnt resemble the entire slice of pizza she chewed last nighttime. So heres a listing of nutrients you are able to forestall like an ex-boyfriend slithering into your DMs and foods you are able to hug because theyll cook your fucking face. Damn, Ive got bars. DONT: Gobble Canned Food/ Meats Gross. As if. Like, who even ingests canned meats anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird infatuation with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a red fucking pennant that this girl was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always bragging about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in them and effects your torso to hold on to ocean, which is why your appearance is always puffy or you have pocketed under your eyes that can be seen from infinite, and your acne is at World War III proportions. DO: Eat Salmon Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and too be objectionable on Instagram, devouring salmon is a sure room to get better gazing skin. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty battery-acids and healthy fattens. These paunches strengthen cell tissues and nourish the scalp to continue you gazing fresh AF. DONT: Drink Green Juice Lol merely because you often say shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre boozing to purify your form are actually truly fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as inferno, especially the green juices which are able to have up to 50 grams of sugar in them, which is actual sabotage when it is necessary to having clear surface. ^ I imagine every fitstagrammer when the catch out they’ve been shooting liquid sugar into their tabernacles bodies DO: Booze A Protein Smoothie Aside from having something to talk about with the hot manager at your gym, protein smoothies was in fact be beneficial for your surface. The more you are familiar with. Remain away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These types of smoothies are high in healthy flabs and wont leave your scalp examining more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend. DONT: Eat Ice Cream Okay, this one I accompanied coming. Nothing that savor this good can be anything but destruction on your torso. And since Im not on my period rn in control of my torso I approximate Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which can figure this fun circumstance called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your body. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with the most are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy searching. So mostly chewing ice cream is aging you.* stairs into oncoming transaction* DO: Eat Dark Chocolate Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your surface. So even though it flavours healthy and the whole experience youll be caring you were devouring real chocolate with real flavor at least your skin will appear good AF and protection against wrinkles and other bad shit. DONT: Drink Coffee HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick pun. You want me to give up my will to live caffeine? Do you likewise want me to commit homicide the next time someone replies all to ministries and departments email chain? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my mentality around because coffee is literally one of the only reasons I get out of bed in the morning, and hence, the same reasons you get to experience this twinkling temperament. That tell me anything, coffee is a diuretic( bogus report Im sure !) which causes your form to lose liquid and your surface to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you require glowy AF skin. DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water This replacement sounds about as good as the Republicans plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though future prospects of drinking red-hot lemon liquid sounds about as enticing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super are you all right. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and yields some very much support efforts to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies their own bodies and if youre full of toxins drinking on daytimes that cease in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have neat things. DONT: Eat Bagels Okay, Im starting to feel personally was well received by such lists. Like, is someone looking at my bank affirmation and be careful to ensure that I expend a great amount of my down time in coffee shop and/ or bagel stores? Because Im find actually assaulted rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your skin and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for dates.* prays this is imitation news* DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats Tbh Id preferably starve than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the toll we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right various kinds of carbs probs because it ogles miserable to eat and likewise because its high in antioxidants which weve proven will not only give you clear/ glowy skin but likewise fightings against anti-aging. DONT: Drink Soda To utterly no ones astound except my own because I refuse to read labels written by health professionals people who are out to destroy my joy, soda are detrimental to you. And precisely because you drink diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda especially disrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your intestine. Likewise sucking any sort of soda are actually fuck with your scalp. Like, reason rosacea, eczema, and acne fuck with your scalp. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Too, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant only drink vodka straight-from-the-shoulder. I want to have clearer scalp , not croak. DO: Drink Kombucha Finally something that ogles good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my skin. About damn era. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all your life questions. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you miss clear skin by the time this weekend’s brunch reels around then chug some of this and pretend like its booze something you experience drinking. So, in conclusion, anything that brings you rejoice is possibly fucking up your skin and you are able to cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not oblige the roll, but thats mainly because I refused to do any actual investigate that would support otherwise. Who says you cant move your own destiny? Listen, if all else neglects and you have no self see dont wishes to sacrifice your prosperity theres always Facetune. Read more: www.betches.com http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/what-to-eat-for-clear-skin-what-foods-will-wreak-havoc-on-your-face-5/

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