#i have struggled with the smut until 4am yesterday

[chiefnooniensingh]

I think I'm gonna love you (for a long, long time)

Pairing: La'an Noonien-Singh/James T. Kirk

Rating: E

Summary: “Buy me a drink next time we’re on Starbase together.” La'an and Jim are finally on Starbase together, able to get that drink that was promised. Will lightning strike twice?

A/N: I had a lot of issues with the smut because a) I'm pretty sure I'm ace, b) haven't written smut in a good long while, c) haven't gotten laid in a good long while. But I'm very pleased with how it came out. Enjoy yourself!

AO3

“Buy me a drink next time we’re on Starbase together.”

It’s not like La’an hadn’t badgered the living daylights out of Sam these last few weeks, for every scrap of information about this timeline’s James Insane Middle Name Kirk. She knew a lot about him now. His inability to accept a lost cause. His penchant to flirt with everything with a heartbeat (she had to admit, that one stung a bit. Which was insane because they weren’t anything to each other in this timeline). His absolute dedication to Starfleet and the resulting skirmishes he’d gotten himself into. If Sam wondered why La’an suddenly showed so much interest in his brother she’d never met, he didn’t ask.

She did prepare for this moment. She really did. But seeing the USS Faragut docked next to the Enterprise still sent a rush of nerves through her. It was ridiculous. Like she was a teenager about to see her crush, not a decorated abuse survivor, she spent the first two days picking up her Padd and putting it back down again, her finger hovering over his name for several long moments.

In the end it was Una who called her out on it, because who else would have the nerve? “Who or what is on your Padd that has you reaching for it every other minute?” she asked, after La’an had indeed reached for her Padd for the 10th time during their meal.

La’an sighed, biting the inside of her cheek in frustration. It was accutely annoying that she couldn’t talk to those closest to her about her experiences in the alternate timeline. She was sure Una would not only understand, but also know what to do about her predicament. “It’s just...” Words were failing her. “I’ve had an experience recently. It…changed me.”

“Is this when you arrived in a strange leather outfit on the Bridge?” Una asked, eyeing her shrewdly. La’an’s breath stilled in her throat, and she gaped at Una. Was she that obvious? “Oh please,” Una said, waving her look away, “I’ve known you longer than most. You looked like you’d seen a ghost. And you’ve been distant and quiet ever since.”

La’an looked down at her hands, her fingers fidgeting as she tried to find the words. “I…saw things…experienced things…that day. I was told not to tell.”

“Oh god,” Una groaned, sitting back and taking an annoyed sip of her tea. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with time travel, would it?”

La’an looked up sharply. She knew Una was smart, but the way the Commander sometimes seemed to know more than was possible, was unnerving. “How the…”

“I’ve had some run-ins with the future and the past,” Una said, glancing at something over La’an’s shoulder. La’an tried not to look, but was very aware of the loud voices of Captain Pike and Lieutenant Ortegas rising up from the table behind them. “La’an, you don’t have to tell me anything. But whatever you went through, it was important enough to change you. If there’s something you need to do now, you should do it. What is stopping you?”

La’an nodded slowly, her eyes moving away from Una’s face and to her Padd. She knew what was stopping her. James didn’t remember her. For him, nothing ever happened. How would she ever, ever explain her fixation with him? La’an let out a disbelieving breath as she realized the feeling that was holding her back: fear. She was afraid. La’an Noonien-Singh faced off with the Gorn on multiple occassions, but a meeting with a boy made her more afraid to pick up a Padd than a phaser. This was ridiculous. “I’ll explain everything to you later, I promise,” La’an said, suddenly jumping up and grabbing her Padd in one fluid movement.

Una smiled, her eyes twinkling in a way that made La’an believe she had realized what this all was about. Una was way too perceptive for her own good. “I’m looking forward to it. Go on.” She jerked her chin to the exit, and off La’an went, opening a connection to the Starbase network.

“Computer, locate Lieutenant James T. Kirk.”

“Lieutenant James T. Kirk is on Deck 10, subsection 5.”

La’an found the nearest turbolift, got in, and then stared at the controls for a second, gathering some more strength. “Deck 10,” she finally told the lift, hating how much her voice was trembling. La’an wasn’t usually a nervous person. She bullied emotions like that into submission long before they had a chance to ruin her day. But she couldn’t run away from this. She was on her way to meet a man she’d never met, who meant more to her than most people did.

What a mind-job, she thought, and couldn’t help but chuckle as the turboliftdoors opened to Deck 10–

–and she ran right into one very surprised James T. Kirk.

La’an, who’d never been at a loss for words in her career, could only gape at him as he looked at her, and then smiled an easy smile she recognized from his other self. Her stomach did a summer sault without her permission. “La’an Noonien-Singh!” he said, sounding pleased.

“Jam – er, Lt. Kirk!” she managed to stutter out, as she stepped aside to let him into the turbolift with her.

“Deck 2,” Kirk told the turbolift, and they whooshed off. “It’s good to finally meet you in person, Lieutenant. Has my brother been behaving himself?” Another charming smile lit up his face, and just like that, La’an felt herself relax.

“Well, according to him, it’s you who’s the more troublesome Kirk brother,” La’an said, feeling her face split into a teasing grin.

Kirk closed his eyes in mock hurt and laughed. “No fair, he’s had the advantage of several missions with you to make me look bad!”

La’an laughed, too, startling herself a little. “I should be sorry to believe half of his ridiculous stories.”

“Well,” Kirk said, rubbing a hand across his neck, shooting her a bashful look through his eyelashes, “I’m pretty sure at least half of them are true. But at least allow me the opportunity to set the record straight. I might be a troublemaker, but he is no saint. I was just on my way to the bar. Join me, so you can buy me that drink you promised?”

Damn, he was a smooth talker in any timeline. La’an felt her cheeks redden a bit as she remembered their banter over hotdogs. “I distincly remember you arrogantly presuming I’d buy you that drink,” she said, her voice laced with laughter as he faked another hurt look, “but you’ve got me intrigued about Sam. Alright, Lieutenant. I’ll buy you that drink.”

Kirk’s answering smile was enough to brighten up the whole turbolift.

----

“You can’t possibly expect me to believe that Sam Kirk stole your mum’s car? And then drove it of a cliff?!”

Kirk laughed, taking a sip from his brandy, and holding up his hands. “Hey, if you don’t believe me, ask him yourself! The man is a terrible liar, you’ll sniff him right out!”

La’an put down her own drink to protect it from spilling. She couldn’t remember ever having laughed so much in a single night, but every anecdote Kirk told was as hilarious as the last, and it seemed he never grew tired of sharing them and making her laugh. Whenever she did laugh, she noticed his eyes lighting up as he looked at her, as if he was singularly enjoying her joy. It was usually hard to keep her old and new memories separate, but she hadn’t thought about the other timeline’s Kirk for quite a while. This Kirk was very adept at making her forget pretty much everything. “My god, I am going to make his life hell the next time I do a routine inspection. Underneath his bed, you say?”

Kirk nodded with a grin, turning slightly in the booth they were occupying and leaning closer conspiratorily. “He has never changed his hiding spot. My brother, though I love him, of course, is very preditable and very easy to tease.”

“I’m not sure any of these stories should go in his permanent record, but thank you for sharing them either way, Lieutenant.”

Kirk’s grin softened into a smile. “La’an, why don’t you just call me Jim? We’re both off duty here.”

Hearing her name spoken that softly sent a whole new host of feelings coursing through her body, but she clamped them down. “Alright. Jim.” It felt strange – how right that felt. She’d called the other Kirk James. But somehow that didn’t feel right with this Kirk. Jim was much more fititng for the man sitting across from her, telling stories, caring not a lick about who she was or why she’d called him with the strangest and most mundane question ever. “Thank you, Jim. I can’t remember having this much fun in a while.”

Kirk cocked his head, looking at her with narrowed, searching eyes. “Come on, that can’t be true.”

“It’s true,” La’an said, tearing her gaze away from his and staring at the table. “Other people are…usually difficult for me.” Oh God, she thought horrified. She’d had this exact conversation with him in another life. Another time. Another him. “There’s always been this barrier, and it gets…lonely. But you…”

It wasn’t fair. What she was doing to herself, what she was expecting him to say. She wasn’t being fair to either of them, but she didn’t seem to be able to stop the words from pouring out of her. And apparently, he was more like his counterpart than she thought, because he smiled, ducking his head, and said, “Me? I’m…special?”

La’an laughed, her heart in her throat. “Well, no. But yes. A bit of both?” She shook her head to get rid of the memories, then looked up into his eyes. She was shocked by how sincerely he was paying attention to her, singularly focussed on every line. “Anyway. I don’t usually get to have fun like this, even when on shore leave, so thank you.”

Jim raised his glass to her. “Well, it was my absolute pleasure.” She raised her own glass as well and took a sip. Somehow, she’d missed when he moved his arm to rest on the back of the couch they were sharing, his hand now resting inches from her shoulder. She wondered if he did it on purpose, then scolded herself for hoping. Then again, her leg had definitely brushed his on several occassions during the evening. All on accident, of course.

For the first time that evening, she looked up. The bar was a lot emptier than it had been when they arrived, and when she checked the time she was shocked to notice it was well past midnight. They’d been sitting here for the better part of four hours and she hadn’t noticed at all. Though on shore leave, La’an had planned a surprise inspection of the lower decks in the morning, but she could already tell that wasn’t going to happen. Her head was buzzing with the small amount of alcohol she had consumed, and her heart was racing with the proximity to Jim. She’d wondered how much he would be like his alternate self. He was close enough for her feelings to be still there, but far enough that it didn’t hurt to look at him as much as she had expected. He was still looking at her as he was finishing his brandy, and shot her another smile when he did. “We seem to be overstaying our welcome,” he whispered conspiratorily, leaning in closer to her and jerking his head towards the bar. She looked surreptitiously in that direction, and saw the bartender shooting them exasperated looks. “If we order another drink, do you think they’ll try to phaser us?”

La’an turned back to him to answer but was stopped short when she noticed how much closer he was now leaning. His hand was also very lightly touching her arm now. Clearing her throat, ignoring the burning sensation even that lightest touch was causing, she forced a chuckle. “I think we’d better not risk it. I rather like this place and would hate to be banned.”

Jim still hadn’t moved, his face now so close to hers that she could feel his breath. It carried a hint of the brandy he was drinking. “Good point,” he conceded, and then, seemingly with tremendous effort, pulled himself out of the booth. “Allow me to walk you to your quarters?” He extended his hand for her to take.

La’an would usually have denied. She didn’t need an escort, she was perfectly able to take care of herself, thank you very much. But she didn’t want this night to end. Her experiences with the alternate Jim aside, this had truly been a wonderful night, and she wondered how long it would be until she’d experience another. Everything ends, but she could delay their parting a bit longer. So she took his hand and allowed him to pull her out of the booth. She felt the loss when he let go. They walked together, slowly, both clearly unwilling for this night to end. Jim followed La’an’s lead, even when she took the long way ‘round to the Enterprise. He didn’t comment on that fact, merely kept up the steady stream of conversation the entire way to the ship. The ship was empty when they entered, the night shift well under way and everyone else either on Starbase or in their quarters. They fell silent automatically, as if the ship being on night shift somehow meant they had to be quiet.

“La’an, when you said there’s always been a barrier, what did you mean?” Jim asked, startling La’an out of her quiet enjoyment. She looked at him from the corner of her eyes and saw him looking at her intently.

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you don’t know?” La’an said, deflecting. She didn’t really want to talk about it, but also didn’t want to stop him from talking.

Jim nodded pensively. “Your name.” La’an nodded. They stepped into the Turbolift and were quiet all the way to her deck. “What makes me different, then?” he asked, when they stepped off the Turbolift on her deck.

More than I can ever tell you, La’an thought, but instead she said, “Since the first second we talked, you’ve never treated me different because of my last name. Almost everybody else starts out distrusting, sometimes even hating. But not you. You didn’t even blink.”

Jim nodded as they slowly made their way to her quarters. “I’ve never been a fan of judging someone because of their family. Genetics mean nothing. We’re all born with the capacity for good and evil. It’s our choices that define us, not our blood.”

La’an chuckled softly. “You’re the second person to say that to me recently.”

“Well, I am very wise,” Jim said, his tone once again teasing, causing La’an to laugh.

“Sure.” The mock hurt look crossed his face again and La’an shook her head with a smile. “Anyway. My last name has always been a…scarlet letter…” What the hell are you doing, she scolded at herself, but the words were already out of her mouth… “…my whole life. It’s nice to have someone treat me like I’m not wearing it.”

He looked at her, confused. Seriously? “Really? Hawthorne? Late 19th century Earth?” She was having an intense amount of deja-vu. She decided to push it. “It’s about a, eh - a woman who’s marked. Like the mark of Cain.” Again he pulled that perfectly innocent confused face. The most frustrating thing was that she still didn’t know if he was joking, because this Jim was not the other one. He might actually not have read it. They came to a halt in front of her door, and she narrowed her eyes at him. “You’ve never heard of…?”

Jim laughed, but not at her. Just…at his own stupid joke. “Yes, obviously I’ve heard of Hawthorne and the Old Testament.” He stepped closer to her, invading her personal space, forcing her to tilt her head slightly to maintain eye contact.

And suddenly, La’an knew exactly what was about to happen.

“I’m messing with you,” he said softly.

La’an had had enough. Her heart was racing a mile a minute, but she kept her eyes on him. His pupils were blown wide as he stared at her intensely. “You asshole,” she whispered, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and pulling him in. Their lips met, and La’an melted. This kiss was nothing like the other one. In fact. In fact. La’an could barely even remember alternate James right now. This kiss was heated, full of promise and an evening of built up tension, and he was kissing her as enthousiastically as she felt. She wrapped her arms around his neck, as Jim slipped his arm around her waist, pulling her flush against him as he deepened their kiss. She felt him pressed against every single inch of her body, and she thought she might burn up if she didn’t do something, anything, more. She ran a hand through his short hair, finding leverage as she pushed up on her tiptoes to get closer, to feel more of him. She felt more than heard him chuckle, the vibrations going through her like music. When she didn’t think she could stand another second without some air, she broke their kiss, keeping her forehead pressed against his. They were both breathing heavily, and Jim was still holding onto her waist tightly. “Do you want…” La’an said, her breathing embarassingly laboured. “Do you want to come in?” Her hand was already moving towards the lock.

Jim held her in place for a moment, his lips ghosting over hers, enticingly, seductively. “Yes,” he said softly, before kissing her again in a way that sent an electric shock from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. La’an reached blindly towards the lock of her door, had to give it three tries, but then opened the door and they stumbled inside, trying to stay as close together as possible and create enough space to get rid of some clothes at the same time. “La’an…” Jim muttered when she finally got rid of her jacket and she was just wearing her black tanktop. His hands ran up her sides, exploring, soaking her in, causing goose bumps to erupt all over her skin. La’an gasped as he lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist automatically. “I’ve been wanting to do this all night,” he said as he buried his face in her neck, kissing and licking and sucking his way up towards her mouth. La’an scoffed, and Jim pulled his head back to look at her. His gaze was deadly serious. “You don’t believe me?”

“You hardly know me.”

Jim lifted a single shoulder. “Every time I made you laugh, I felt like I got some private view of you that nobody else gets to see. Every time your leg accidentally brushed mine I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin. You underestimate the effect you have on me. And how much I want you to be wearing much less clothes than you are right now.”

La’an squealed (thank God Una wasn’t around to hear this) as he moved quickly across her room, deposited her on the couch and starting working on undoing her pants. “Jim…” she whispered, cheeks flushing at how needy she sounded. She reached out, touching his face, and he got the message. He surged up to kiss her again, his mouth hungry but soft, allowing her to set the pace and giving her room to pull back should she want to.

She really, really didn’t want to. With one hand in his hair, the other traveled downwards to his pants. She attempted to undo it, but in the proces brushed right over his crotch, and she felt exactly how much truth was behind his words. He gasped at her touch, pressing his face against her neck with a groan. “La’an, I swear to God…” he said, his voice already broken. She’d barely even touched him yet. A rush of power surged through La’an. She was doing that to serial womanizer Jim Kirk. It was euphoric, her eyes rolling in the back of her head as she let out a giggle.

So many things she would never, ever tell another living soul she was capable off.

Her laughter died out quickly, because he’d managed to undo her pants and hadn’t waited to pull it down before moving his hand to where she needed him most, thrusting first one, then soon after two fingers inside her. His thumb traced lightly but surely over her clit. With a whine, La’an arched her back at his touch. Jim kissed his way down her body, smiling against her belly at the noises he was drawing out of her with every move of his hand.

It didn’t take long. Her body had been on edge the entire night (the accidental touches had had their effect on her as well), and Jim worked her expertly, touching her exactly how she needed it. Needed him. She fell apart with his name on her lips, a sound which he immediately swallowed with a kiss. “You’re even more beautiful when you come undone beneath me,” he whispered hoarsely. La’an laughed as her heartrate slowly returned to normal and her breathing slowed down. Jim looked down at her with a big smile, removing his hand from between her legs (she didn’t whine at the loss, she did not).

“You’re entirely too good at that,” she said, when she finally caught her breath. Jim leant down, capturing her mouth in a soft kiss. It sent a tingle straight to her belly and her breath shuddered as she kissed him back languidly. “Jim…”

“I hope you’ll let me stay a little longer, because I – ” Jim said, moving to kiss her neck, “– am – ” kiss “– not – ” kiss “– done with you.” La’an couldn’t believe this was happening; not by any stretch of the imagination did she think she would’ve ended up with Jim Kirk in her quarters when she went to find him earlier today.

But she’d spent enough time underneath him for now. Grinning mischievously, she put her hands on his shoulders and flipped him over. He landed with an oof against the back of the couch. She climbed on his lap, putting her legs on either side of his thighs. His eyes were wide as he looked up at her, his hands landing on the back of her legs. “I hope you’ll stay a while,” La’an said, winding her hands in his hair and tilting his head back, “because I’m not done with you, either.” Then she slammed her mouth against his. His fingers dug into the flesh of her legs in response. She felt him groan as she nipped at his bottom lip, and another rush of power went through her.

“Fuck, La’an, you’re going to be the end of me,” he rasped when they broke apart. His hands slid a bit higher, grabbing her ass and pulling her closer still. “You know, it’s strange…” he continued, as he kept staring up into her eyes, hardly blinking. “…and this is going to sound like a line…but I have this really strange feeling that I know you – have known you for longer than tonight.”

La’an felt her heart begin to race. “Well, maybe we went to the Academy together.” It sounded flimsy, even to her. But there was no earthly – timely? – way that he had any memories of a timeline that never existed.

Jim shook his head, then raised his hand to cup her cheek. “I would definitely have remembered you. You are…mesmerizing.”

La’an blushed, but managed a laugh. “Okay, that was definitely a line.”

Then Jim smirked, and the weird deja-vu moment was over. “Alright, maybe,” he teased, pulling her down with a hand in her neck, “But I do mean it.” He kissed her again, sloppy and hungry, which she felt to the tips of her toes. She moaned into his mouth, causing his hips to jerk in response. “And I love the sounds you make. Can I please take you to bed now?”

La’an pushed herself up from his lap with more reluctance than she’d ever admit, and stood over him with her hands on her hips. “These are my quarters, Lieutenant Kirk. I believe I shall take you to bed.” Then she divested herself from her pants and tank top, and turned her back to him, walking towards her bed with an extra sway in her hips.

“Fuck,” she heard him mutter, before he scrambled to his feet and followed her.

Later La’an would blush and wonder how she’d ever gotten this bold. But she’d been driven out of her mind with want, and thoughts had a way of not taking root in her head. The only thing going through her head was how much she wanted him, and how much he seemed to want her. She turned to face him again, finding him closer than expected, which caused her breath to catch. Jim put his hands on her hips, pressed his forehead against hers, and everything seemed to slow down for a moment. They swayed like that together, breathing each other in, and La’an was hit again with that same feeling of rightness, of comfort, that she’d felt with his other self. She wondered if that meant anything. She also couldn’t get herself to unpack that right now. “Jim?”

“Mmm?”

“You’re wearing far too many clothes.”

Jim smirked. “Yes, ma’am.” Without any more protest, he undid his shirt and tossed it over his shoulder. Then he got rid of his pants, leaving only his boxers to give her imagination something to do.

La’an stared, breathless. She remembered seeing him in the dressing room after he took off the sweater, and feeling flustered and a little bit attracted to him. That same feeling overwhelmed her now. She remembered wanting to run her hands down the planes of his chest. And then she realized that she actually could now. He was breathing hard and she felt his breath hitch when she put her hands on his chest. As frantic as the first couple of minutes of this night had been, now they’d slowed it down. La’an’s senses were heightened more than usual, and she was extremely aware of every move Jim’s body made. Jim lifted his hand to her shoulder and slowly slipped his fingers underneath the strap of her bra, keeping his eyes fixed on hers. She gazed back, sure and unafraid, and allowed him to inch the strap down her arm. He leaned down and started trailing kisses over her shoulder in the wake of her bra strap, causing La’an’s breath to hitch. He then reached around and undid her bra with deft fingers. Her breath caught again as she allowed her bra to drop. Jim let his eyes roam across her, and La’an fought her instinct to cover herself up.

But he smiled, letting his large hands roam across the skin of her back. “You’re beautiful,” Jim whispered, before running a single finger across her nipple. La’an gasped, trembling. “You’re so reactive.” He sounded absolutely delighted by that fact. He was gazing down at her with a sly smirk.

La’an grabbed him by the shoulders, spun him around and pushed him down onto the bed. “My turn,” she said, moving to straddle his hips. Jim immediately let his hands wander up her legs and to her hips, his own hips jerking involuntarily.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, his voice rough and gravelly. The sound went straight through her to a place low in her stomach, and La’an didn’t resist the urge to lean over him and kiss him senseless. When she rolled her hips, he groaned against her mouth, tightening his grip on her hips. “La’an…” The way he said her name drove her out of her mind. She had to do something right now, or she might just burst out of her skin. She climbed off him for a moment, and enjoyed the whine he let out at the loss of contact, but used the wider range of motion to rid herself of her underwear, and to start to work on his. He got the message quickly, and moved to help her. Then he immediately pulled her back on top of her, clearly as eager as she was to have as little space between them as possible.

He pulled her down to him for a searing kiss. Their bodies were practically flush together, naked skin to naked skin, but it wasn’t nearly enough. After months of wanting, La’an was aching for him in ways she hadn’t experienced in…well, maybe ever. He seemed to be feeling the same, because he put his hands on her hips as he broke the kiss, looking up at her, eyes blazing. “La’an, I need you,” he whispered, pulling her down against him by her hips, causing them both to groan at the contact.

“Jim…” she gasped, her hands flying to his hair. She lifted her hips, letting the tip of him slide through her folds. “God…”

Jim’s fingers tightened on her hips. “You’re so wet,” he gasped out. La’an leaned down to kiss him, and as she did so, she slowly lowered herself down on him. “Holy mother of God…” he groaned, his grip on her hips now bruising. La’an’s hands dug into the sheets underneath them in an effort to keep any semblance of control about her, but it was a losing battle. Even more so when he bucked his hips and slowly started moving.

I can’t believe this is actually happening, La’an thought, waves of pleasure washing over her as she pressed her face into his neck, moaning softly. She moved her hips slowly, in time with his thrusts, and it was almost torture. La’an couldn’t figure out if she needed things to speed up or if this slow, gentle pace was exactly what she needed. Maybe both could be true. Her brain was hardly supplying any helpful input, it was almost exclusively sending out static noise of pure pleasure. She was making a whole slew of noises which she could only sort of identity; she was pretty sure his name tumbled from her lips most frequently. He was muttering, too, sweet nothings and something dirtier in her ear as he kept thrusting, his hands coming up to bracket her face and kiss her again  “Jim…” she moaned, as he hit a particular spot inside of her, which caused her to throw her head back in ecstasy. “Jim, please…more…”

“More?” Jim said, hoarsely, sounding wrecked and smug at the same time. “Yes, ma’am, more coming right up.” In one smooth, fluid motion, he grabbed her around the waist and spun them around so that he was now hovering over her. They stared at each other for a moment, breaths laboured, and then Jim kissed her, running his hands up the sides of her body all the way to her hands, which he then pinned to the mattress above her head. La’an was never going to admit to the sound that escaped her mouth at that.

Their pace picked up after that. Their fingers entwined, and a broken moan came from Jim as he buried his face in her neck. They held onto each other as if letting go would mean being set adrift in the cold emptiness of space, and the only thing keeping them warm was the feel of each other’s bodies moving together, in sync, frantic, sloppy. La’an felt a pressure built somewhere behind her navel, but it wasn’t enough, not nearly enough, and she whined, not able to put words to what she wanted. It was like Jim read her mind though. He let one of her hands go and slipped his now free hand between their bodies to again find her clit. His fingers moved expertly, and this was what La’an was missing. The only sounds coming out of her mouth now were disjointed words, moans and sometimes his name. She had no control over what her brain and her body were doing, and it was wonderful. For the first time in a long, long time, her overactive brain was minding its own business, allowing her to enjoy everything happening to her body right now. “Come on, La’an…” Jim whispered in her ear, at which the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. “Come with me…”

And that was it.

With a sob, La’an crashed over some invisible precipice, wrapping her arms around Jim’s neck to anchor herself. Her own orgasm seemed to trigger his; he followed not two seconds after, capturing her lips in a bruising kiss, swallowing her cries.

Slowly, very slowly, La’an’s consciousness returned to her, finding Jim with his face pressed against her chest, still gasping, and yet also managing to press kisses to her damp skin in between. La’an couldn’t for the life of her remember the last time she had been so satisfied; her entire body was buzzing with electricity, overly sensitive to even the lightest touch in the best way.

Jim was the first one to find his voice. Sort of. “That…that was…” He was still breathing hard, and he seemed to have difficulty focussing. He lifted his head to look at her, his eyes shining bright, his brows slightly furrowed as if confused. “Jesus,” he breathed, before surging up to kiss her again. La’an, sated and content, felt a slight tug in her stomach as he did; his kisses were phenomenal.

La’an was the first to find her voice and to be able to form actual sentences. “So, that happened,” she said, her voice surprisingly steady. Jim nodded, laughing softly, as he nuzzled her cheek. He seemed uneager to move off of her, but she was also feeling the height and weight difference he had on her. She pushed his shoulder lightly, and, getting the hint, he rolled off of her. She followed him immediately however, giving in to the desire to stay close to him. She rested her head on his chest as his arm came around her, pulling her close. He burried his nose in her hair, which sent a whole new flock of butterflies through La’an’s belly.

They were silent for a long time, both of them coming down from their high, both of them basking in the pleasure of what had just tranpsired. It was Jim who broke the silence first. “Are you alright?” he asked.

La’an frowned, looking up at him, finding him looking slightly worried. “What do you mean?” She raised her hand to run a finger down the side of his face, a movement which had Jim leaning into the touch.

“Just that I can…forget myself, sometimes.” Jim closed his eyes for a moment before looking straight at her. “I’m sure Sam has told you that my feelings can get the better of me. Make me…impulsive sometimes. Unthinking.” He slipped his hand in her neck, his thumb stroking the side of his face. “I hope I didn’t…”

“Hurt me?” La’an supplied. She smiled when he nodded, turning her head to kiss the palm of his hand. “Jim…what about me says ‘I will let someone hurt me without repercussions’?”

Jim stared at her for a second, stunned, but then burst into laughter. “That’s a valid point, Lieutenant La’an Noonien-Singh.”

La’an pushed herself up on one arm so she could look down at him. “So, Lieutenant James Tiberius Kirk, why don’t you just shut up and kiss me before you say something else ridiculous?”

Jim moved his hand into her hair and tightened his grip, making La’an gasp. The fire that had been doused for a few minutes raged again in her stomach, and La’an’s lips parted. Jim’s eyes flicked down, his gaze darkening. “Yes, ma’am,” he said, his voice low, and then he pulled her down hard, crushing his mouth to hers. La’an swung her leg over his torso and got settled. “Comfortable?” he asked with a grin when they broke apart for a few moments.

La’an put her hands on his chest to keep him down against the mattrass, teasing him a little. “Very.” She moved her hands up to his hair, winding her hands in the soft strands, and then tightening her grip. He moaned softly, which delighted La’an to no end. “Mmm, ready for round two, Lieutenant Kirk?”

Jim smiled up at her, his hands moving up to her bare breasts. La’an gasped, arching into his touch. “Very much so, Lieutenant Noonien-Singh.”

Laughing, La’an leaned back down to kiss him.

Round two.

[tastyykpop]

Hiii Congrats on reaching the milestone💕💕love your blog btw!! Could you please do a Taeyong smut where he is kinda cold to her before but confesses after he becomes very jealous??

Hii ty so much u have no clue how much this means to me🥺

ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ, ɪᴅɪᴏᴛ

Pairings: tsundere!taeyong x reader

Genre: smut

Warnings: d/s themes, jealousy, possessiveness, marking, praising, a dash of spanking, fingering, hair pulling, unprotected sex

I finished this at 4am so it's not edited 💔

"Lee Taeyong!!" You chased the dark haired boy down the side walk, never turning to look back as his name was called, "Wait for me please!"

He scoffed. Luckily you couldn't hear him. "What an annoying brat." Taeyong continued on, still ignoring you and your protests of him walking away.

Running as fast as you could to catch up was easier said then done. You held boba and your food from a nearby fast food restaurant in one hand, Taeyongs in another with your purse flopping against you. You wouldn't be in this situation if Taeyong scare you into holding his food for you, threatening you with a cold stare.

Yes, you and Taeyong are friends. It's odd because of how cold and almost rude he is with you, but you're somehow friends, at least you think you are. Some people say he's got a soft spot for you but you're not too sure anymore. One day hes calling you an idiot for not taking care of yourself and the next hes rolling his eyes at you and telling you to fuck off. Coming to the conclusion that maybe he only thinks of you as a friend, you started pushing him away recently and hung out with another friend of yours. Too bad because you may have had feelings for Taeyong too. Something about him made you want to stick around even though most of the time he didn't want you around.

"Goddammit Taeyong...wait up!"

As annoying as it was to be running with food and drinks in both hands, the most annoying part had to be the purse. It was big, heavy, and swayed with every step, bumping into your left arm ever millisecond. Why couldn't you just man up to Taeyong before?

"Bastard."

"Did you say something?"

"Huh- what!? When did you-" you tilted your head upwards to meet Taeyongs arched brow and impatient face. How did you not realize you caught up?

You pushed his food and drink into his chest and grumbled, "Here." And without waiting for Taeyong, you readjusted your purse and walked to your house with expectations that he would follow.

Taeyong frowned yet tailed you like a lost puppy.. He didn't have any plans catching up to you or telling you to wait for him and just admired you from behind. He liked the way your hair bounced over your shoulders with every step, the way your hips swayed as you walked. He even liked how long the skirt made your legs look even though you were tiny compared to him. Taeyong liked you without a doubt, but he wouldnt actually tell you that.

"Are you coming?" You opened the door to your house. Taeyong didn't answer, only pushing you out of the way and beelining it to the table where he placed his food and drink. "I'll take that as a yes..." you sigh.

Placing your food gently on the table, you sat across from the male who eyed you up and down but with no expression crossing his face.

"Y/n." Taeyongs stern voice startled you as you almost choked on a boba pearl. "Whats on your neck?"

"My neck?" Softly, you touched the side of your neck before realizing what he meant. Yesterday, that friend of yours that you've started hanging out with asked you to hang out. And little did you know, hanging out didn't mean just watching movies or joking around. It soon turned to small touches, then kissing, then making out. Before you knew it, he was kissing and sucking your neck, creating the purple mark that now painted your skin. "Oh...it's nothing. Just a bruise."

"What are you stupid? Your telling me you just happened to bruise your neck? Dumbass."

"Then why did you ask if you already know?" You mumbled.

As you took the biggest bite from your burger, Taeyong had to speak up again, "I hate it."

"Its a good thing it's not on you then isn't it."

"I think you would look better covered in my marks." His voice never faltered and you were sure he was joking. Taeyongs always been straight forward with you, but this seemed like a joke, it had to be a joke. Your mind was playing tricks on you and this is what you wanted to hear. It can't be real.

"You're kidding right...?"

"Completely serious."

"So you're...jealous?"

"Stop asking so many questions." He said coldly, shutting you up quickly, but the smirk on your face still lingered.

"I just think it's funny that a small mark on my neck could make someone as cold as you are, jealous." You say, confidence flowing out of you out of nowhere and this time, Taeyong went quiet. "Its cute."

"Cute? You know what's cute is me bending you over this table and fucking the life out of you so you only remember my name and who owns that cute ass."

Heat rose to your cheeks and the tips of your ears, and maybe Taeyong could tell but youre sure your face was starting to show a hint of red, "Now I know you're just bluffing."

Taeyong rolled his eyes, "Come here and shut that mouth, I'll show you I'm not." It had to be the way his voice growled that made you suddenly get out of your seat and stand before the man. It's easy for you to be flustered but it's also easy for you to obey someone that shows more dominance and Taeyong- well he was just overflowing with it.

"We're gonna have a little fun, yeah?" He smiled devishly, "You trust me right?"

"Y-yeah, I m-mean we are f-friends."

Suddenly, your body was bent over the table and your wrists were bound by Taeyongs hand. If you wanted to escape, Taeyong wouldn't let allow it, so you were locked in place.

God, the way this position impacted Taeyong to the point where he just wanted to fuck you all day and night. With your skirt barely hiding your pretty pink panties, he could easily get off by himself at the sight. He didn't need to do that though, he had you after all.

"Did he touch you?" You hear him say, voice low and frightening, enough to paralyze you from moving and speaking. But to his dismay you didn't answer. Moreover, hesitated to answer because of the tone he used. "I asked you a question." He growled, "Did. He. Touch. You."

A soothing hand ran up the sides of you skin, it was cold, almost like a vampires touch compared to your warm skin. "Y-yes."

Taeyong stopped, "Where?"

"Why does it matter?" You say, finding your confidence again though that won't last since your bent over the table with your ass in Taeyongs face.

"I dont want you to remember his touch, only mine. So I'll touch any place he touched." He continued touching where he could reach, the hand binding your wrists let up and rested on your ass as if about to spank you. "Now answer me."

You grumbled and arched your back as a way to tell Taeyong to shut up and fuck you. The pain of something not filling you up was unbearable, you even thought about slipping your fingers inside dripping cunt for relief. "Stop asking me questions and fuck me please."

"God you're so annoying." He spoke. "Im not going to fuck you until you tell me. It shouldnt be that hard since you're so confident." Taeyong pulled you up by your hair and forced you on his lap where your back was pressed against his chest. You couldnt look him in the face, too afraid that you'd break into a blabbering mess.

"H-he touched m-me," you grab Taeyongs hand with hesitation and placed it on your panties that covered your leaking hole, "here."

Almost positive Taeyong could feel your juices soaking through your panties, you pulled your hand away letting his own linger where you needed him most.

"What did he do when he touched you here?" His middle finger went along the slit of your cunt, dragging up and down gently.

"N-nothing."

He crooked his head before pushing your panties to the side and dipping two fingers in, "He didn't do this?" As you body arched into him, he was able to go deeper and finger you slow enough that you were sure it was teasing. And the pain of wanting to be filled up slowly disappeared but not enough.

"N-no, he d-didnt." As he began picking up speed, you cursed a threw your head back. You cried for more, struggling to stay still in his lap and his fingers worked magically inside you.

Taeyong loved every second of this. To finally see you melt in his arms literally when you could so easily turn him down for this. And he'd like to think he was the only one who could make you feel this way. Make you whimper and whine and call out to him for more. He was the only one for you.

"Please T-Taeyong, i want you to f-fuck me so bad," with a third finger slipping inside you, you moaned uncontrollably at the pace. Though you weren't stuffed like you would be with his dick, it was obvious Taeyong knew how to work his fingers to make you act this way. "Please, please, please..."

"Where else did he touch you?" He ignored your please.

It irked you how he didn't bat an eyelash at your desperate self. If you had your confidence again, you would have taken his dick out and sat on it without a question, even so you knew Taeyong wouldn't allow it just yet. He wanted you to fall apart before he even started.

"Mmm Taeyong-" you moaned with content as his fingers curved against your walls, "H-He touched m-my ch-chest."

Taeyong bit the inside of his cheek trying to hide the smirk that formed, "Guess ill just do the same." His free hand worked its way to your mounds where he proceeded to grope you and brush over your sensitive buds. The combination of his fingers inside you and his hands fondling your boobs was sure to bring your to an orgasm soon.

"Youre so beautiful." Taeyong mumbles into your ear, "so fucking perfect."

As carefully as can be, his fingers pulled out of you as a string of your slick connected to his three fingers.

So delicious, Taeyong thought, everything about you was so delicious.

You were flipped around so you faced Taeyong. This time, you didn't look away from him or hide your face from him. Instead, you maintained eye contact with the pretty boy below you before you suddenly pulled him into a desperate and needy kiss.

His heart beat faster than before. His ears burning as his face was flushed. You kissed him. You, the girl that he's been crushing on for years finally kissed him. It only took his jealousy to make this all happen.

"You don't understand how much I love you," he unbuckled his belt, "I cherish every minute and every second I spend with you," soon his pants were unbuttoned, "I can't stand seeing you with someone else," He slipped his dick inside of you with ease, a moan falling from both of you, "Even if you don't love me back, I still fucking do."

You couldnt find words to speak. Your mind was running but not thinking. If you spoke, you weren't sure if it'd be babbling or moaning because of how hard Taeyong fucked up into you. "I-i lo-" No, you couldnt say it back, not while being fucked into a whole new galaxy.

Taeyong on the other hand, was anxious yet pounded into you, enough to bring tears to your eyes. He wanted you to speak, he wanted to hear those three words come out of your mouth, but all he got was your adorable moans and sighs. Yet he wasn't complaining, they sounded lovely apart from the skin against skin. He's just overthinking.

"Youre doing so well, baby." His voice slowly fading, you were so lost in the feeling that anything Taeyong said, went out the other ear.

"F-feels so g-good. Want m-more..." Your greedy hands tugged at Taeyongs locks, but you weren't the only one being touchy. Taeyong was also kneading the plush skin of your ass, giving small taps before digging his nails in, making you whimper.

"Youre so needy baby, huh? So cute and needy for me." He slapped your ass playfully. The smirk on his face was evident that he loved every second of this.

"F-fuck yes, i-im so needy f-for you." You cry, "Youre t-the only one who c-can make me f-feel t-this good."

Of course he is. And Taeyong couldn't be any happier hearing that from you. It gave him energy to fuck harder while now holding your hips still like you were his personal toy. You struggled with keeping the hold on his hair. Your light tugs now harsh pulls but Taeyong didn't mind, in fact he liked how his head was forced to look at your beautiful face.

"Pretty girl." He leaned over the slightest bit and sucked on your necks sweet skin as you tried bouncing on his cock along with him thrusting up. "How much do you love this cock?" He questioned against your neck.

"S-so so much, Taeyong!" Your hips stutter and you know youre close but refuse to faulter, "Y-you h-have the best c-cock."

Taeyong moved back from your neck and grabbed your chin, "Are you ever going to let that guy touch you like that again after this?" You shook your head quickly. "Good girl."

"Im g-gonna cum." You say and without a single thought or word, your body shook as pleasure washed before you. Still, though Taeyong was on the edge of cumming himself, he kept the quick pace from before. But you were so sensitive from the orgasm, and even started screaming Taeyongs name. It wasn't pain, but pleasure, very sensitive pleasure that could easily make you cum a second time.

Seconds before you were about to feel another wave, Taeyong shot his seed deep into you, thrusting slowly as he came down from his high.

"D-did you mean what you said?" Taeyong breathes heavily and raises his brow in question, "About you loving me."

"Duh. I love you, idiot. I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean it." He rolled his eyes. That's the Taeyong you knew. "And what about you? Are you gonna say something or leave me hanging."

"I l-love you t-too." You say quickly. "I mean it."

Taeyong smiles a real smile before patting your head like a puppy and lifting you off his dick, "Lets get you cleaned up, baby, then we can talk about planning a date."

"A date??"

"Mhm," he smirked, "but not after a round two."