#i haven't drawn godzilla in years. i used to be so good at it. i should draw him hanging out with ik

[journey-to-the-attic]

bold of you to assume we (or atleast i) dont want to read paragraphs about ik's and belphie's dynamic 😈😈

if you feel like writing that, i'd absolutely love to read about it!!! ^^

RIGHT YES this took me a hot minute but let's go!!!!

so the main points that this is all built around:

belphie is someone who is absolutely shit at understanding himself

ik is someone who has a knack for understanding anyone she talks to for long enough

belphie's first resort is usually to leave things to someone else, but easily asserts the things he wants

ik will actively pursue you if she thinks she can help, despite usually feeling guilty about requesting anything

they both have very simple views of very complicated things

building from point 1: this is not entirely belphie's fault - i've talked about this before, so i'll just paste the pertinent bits here:

belphie, as the youngest brother, has been detrimentally coddled in regards to these things, and has NO fucking idea how to properly deal with loss the others haven't tried to talk to him about his grief for lilith, nor about their experiences during the celestial war; when they all had to support each other after the fall, they comforted him, but never ever discussed the pain of it all it's like the doctor refusing to talk about your actual symptoms because they're afraid of making you uncomfortable, and instead just soothingly going "it's okay, just take some ibuprofen and see me in the morning"

belphie underestimates himself and, at the start of the year, is convinced that there's no way forward - 1. he feels he's left it too late, 2. he feels he's the only one still hung up on lilith's death, which only makes him more bitter, and 3. he thinks that the hatred and grief is just who he is now

now take ik, who finds him in the attic and takes worryingly little convincing to help him - even more concerningly, she decides to go through with it even upon finding out he was lying about his identity. this is a direct contradiction to his conviction that humanity is selfish and cruel - more than that, the more ik visits and chats with him, the more he remembers why he'd been so fascinated by humans as an angel

except it also reminds him of how much lilith loved humanity. belphie doesn't think he's capable of letting go - he doesn't think he's allowed to, and to him befriending a human and moving on is the same as betraying his sister's memory. so he represses any feelings of good-will and continues to nurse his hatred

i think it's important to note that belphie's hang-ups have always been self-destructive before this, but the more he lets his own grief fester, the more it threatens to burst. his threat to lucifer about destroying humanity is an early indicator of this, and it culminates in a moment of extreme emotional distress where it finally all implodes

so ik - in the wrong place and the wrong time (in the literal sense) - finds him in the middle of a nightmare, wakes him up, and gets murdered for her troubles

belphie shuts down immediately after, because to him this is a point of no return. he's already convinced himself that nothing can be done for him, and this is the proof. except then everyone else forgets what's happened, and, panicking, he goes along with it - out of fear of losing his family if he comes clean.

so: point 2 - consider that a big thing with ik is that she just doesn't get why belphie acts the way he does after killing her. she's been able to get into the heads of his brothers before him, and even now can somewhat rationalise them forgetting, but she has no idea why belphie - who first killed her and then acted like he'd forgotten about it - would suddenly seem so wracked with guilt upon finding him in the dreamscape

belphie does not think he is strong enough to move on. ik, somehow, intrinsically, already knows this is not true. this is why she's so bewildered by belphie telling her lilith's story. he's convinced this is some kind of damning evidence, but ik doesn't get how this explains anything. and because she doesn't understand, she seeks answers.

now take point 3 and 4. belphie does not attempt to seek forgiveness - he just sits in the cell solomon locks him in. he doesn't try to get out, he doesn't attempt to repent, and he doesn't want to, because as far as he's concerned there's nothing to be done

ik, on the other hand, is going to put her home back together by force if necessary, so she goes to find him. multiple times, she climbs up the tower stairs to rescue him from a waking nightmare - the same thing that killed her - because her family is still his family, and she knows too well what it's like when you go without.

belphie has been sitting stagnant for millennia on end, and now ik has decided that she is going to KICK him along until he figures out that he can stand on his own two feet and keep going. and it works, because for some reason digging demons out of emotional pits of their own creation is ik's specialty

and now point 5: ik and belphie fall quite easily into a typical sibling dynamic of the "i'll make fun of you constantly, but if anyone messes with you they're dead" kind. they never really sit down to talk out all the residual Baggage of everything, because neither of them are the type to overthink these things

but EVEN THEN. they may be simple-minded but the complication of the everything that led up to this means there's little hidden meanings even in the normalcy of their behaviour, and neither of them ever register it

for belphie it's "i'll never understand you. thank you for understanding me. i don't know what to say, so i'll tease you for tripping on your laces instead. i'd throw someone down a gorge if they made you cry. let's go shopping. i think i'll spend the rest of my life wondering if i can ever close the wound i tore in your soul."

for ik it's "i'll never forget what you did to me. i see you in my nightmares sometimes. thanks for waiting for me after school. quit making a show out of helping me reach the top shelf. sometimes i'm glad you regret things so much. can you help me with this homework? i think we're alright."

and for both of them it's "i like hanging out with you. sleep well. i'm glad we're home."

in conclusion,

i am crazy about things i made up entirely. perhaps i am cringe but i am free

[the-haylien]

What I've Been Watching On Netflix

Big Bug

Big Bug is a fairly good series full of robots acting badly. It's a Sci-Fi black comedy from France.

Godzilla: King of Monsters

I watched these out of order, so I almost turned it off. But I'm glad I stayed through the end. It was worth the watch. Rogue scientists race to reset the balance of humanity by awakening monsters. Godzilla rises to fend off the Titans.

The Midnight Sky

George Clooney does sci-fi in a slow-moving post-apocalyptic story about a lonely scientist in the Arctic. He works to stop astronauts from returning to a global catastrophe on Earth.

Atypical

I enjoyed this comedy-drama series set in Connecticut. It focuses on 18-year-old Sam Gardner, who is on the autism spectrum. But we get to know the whole family and their various quirks and foibles.

Chimp Empire

An excellent documentary about our cousins' culture.

Prometheus

I didn't know this was the 5th installment of the Alien franchise. I began to suspect as familiar objects appeared and the action progressed. Actually, it was a quite satisfying way to watch it!

The Social Dilemma

Billed as a docudrama, this is about the negative effects of social media. It may be informative if you live under a rock, but I did keep watching to the end.

You Are What You Eat: A Twin Experiment

I learned that little things in your diet can make a big difference in your health. Our food system is screwed up. You can look slim on the outside and still be fat on the inside. A lot of doctors are still not educated on what a healthy diet consists of. I also lost my appetite for animal protein.

School Spirits

Not another High School series! But I liked it. Maddie investigates her own murder at the local high school. She meets other ghosts from different eras and becomes friends with them. They are all trying to figure out how to move on.

65

Humans discovered Earth 65 million years ago. After a crash landing, an astronaut finds a girl from one of the other ships and works to get her off the dangerous planet. Slow moving, but it works well.

Lift

Heist comedy worth $500B in gold bullion. Exciting. You can see the twist coming.

LIve to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones

Another long drawn-out documentary. Nothing you haven't heard before, except the Blue Zones are shrinking and disappearing. You need to do some work to create your own Blue Zone.

Detective Forst

Polish detective movies are in their own genre: grungy, dark, brutal, complicated, frenetic, blurred lines of right and wrong, survival against the odds.

Cowboys and Aliens

A spaceship arrives in 1873 Arizona. Yeah, okay, good movie. But it begs the question, why are aliens who are smart enough to build an interstellar spacecraft so brutal, running around naked, trying to kill everyone? So they are the advance-testors, but even so.

A Trip to Infinity

A documentary about the concept of infinity filled with enough explanatory moments to give us a brief idea about the endlessness of the universe.

Level 16

A mostly boring, science fiction B-movie. Nothing to see here people. Move along.

The Magicians

Fantasy with depth and young adult angst. I never watched season five, so I watched the whole thing from the beginning again. I also read the novels at least three times. You probably won't believe me when I claim to like hard science fiction better. But you would be correct to say that I love Mr. Grossman's story. I am satisfied with the TV series timeline.

Made in Italy

Starring Liam Neeson and real-life son, Micheál Neeson, this film is about a father and son who travel to Italy to sell a house they inherited. The film examines themes of art, loss, and family.

Queer Eye: Season 8

So nice to have the Fab 5 back on my screen, but oh so short! This season seemed a bit too slick, but I loved it anyway. What am I going to do without them?

Orion and the Dark

This is a kid's animated movie. It's a bit jumpy--maybe that's a reflection of the neurotic kid who's afraid of everything. Just when you're thinking it's over and that was real short, it starts in again.

Rim of the World

Another kid's movie. Not much to see in this poorly developed sci-fi movie. Crudely pasted together: for example, an injured child with vital information is unconscious, then up and running when it is time to go. Lots of running around in circles because there is nothing better to do, and the movie needs to be longer.

Anon

This is future hi-tech criminal noir. How can you get away with murder when everyone records what they see? Great science fiction.

Alexander: the Making of a God

A dramatized documentary. Very enjoyable, but they draw things out. It probably could have been done in half the episodes. I enjoyed hearing the historians interviewed as much as I liked watching the dramatic presentations.

Freaks

Science fiction story. Some humans have new powers and are being discriminated against out of fear. They fight for their life.

Einstein and the Bomb

Another dramatized documentary. All of Einstein's words were taken from real life. A good show for the most part.

Pluto

Anime about strong robots with strong AI.