#i haven't even finished the episode yet i'm dreading what's to come and already on the floor from this moment

[crehador]

overtake! ✧ episode 6

[morerandombullshit]

Feeling Dysphoric (Crosshair x AFAB! NB Reader)

Rating: T Pairing: Crosshair x AFAB! NB Reader Word Count: 697 Summary: You're feeling dysphoric about your chest because you haven't gotten top surgery yet so your introverted boyfriend tries to comfort you CW: Dysphoria, also my brain has designated Crosshair a secret softie under the grumpy exterior so here y'all go it's some softie Crosshair Note: As a (sadly) AFAB nonbinary person myself with the same issue (even though I have been called flat a few times but hey, accidental validation?), this felt right to write, and I also need a healthy dose of fluff with Crosshair in it for no reason

Also random thing I was listening to the Undertale soundtrack as I was writing this and that shit's a fucking vibe bro

Every time. Every fucking time you look in the mirror or have to look down at your chest, that long-familiar dread fills you up. 

You'd already consulted a doctor about top surgery, and you were waiting to see what they'd say. For three months. Even at the beginning, your dysphoria had never been this bad. Maybe it's the anxiety about the call being mixed in, but you aren't sure. You're just scrolling through some random feed on your phone when you feel a kiss to the top of your head, and you smile despite your earlier gloom. "Hey. Done with your nap?"

You would've joined Crosshair for his nap—and his cuddling, which despite his grumpiness, he gives really good cuddles—but you're so wired with anxiety that you can't sleep. "Yeah." he mutters, voice taking on a drowsy quality from being asleep for so long as he puts his head on your shoulder. "You should've joined me. Spotter did, and she snuggled up to my side."

Spotter is your guys' cat—a two-year old female calico with amber eyes and a bit of a vocal disposition. She's also really cuddly and despite Crosshair's initial grumbling about getting a cat, you and him both know he loves her to death. "That sounds nice." you reply, a little listless. "You get the call yet?" he asks, seemingly picking up on your gloom. He's been with you every step of the way for this, and has become the number one supporter of your gender identity, unlike the bigots and sycophants from your high school days. 

You sigh a bit as you shake your head. "Not yet." you mutter, a little dejected, before feeling silky fur in your lap. You look down, being painfully conscious of your chest, and you smile as Spotter settles down. Her purring settles you a bit as you pet her soft fur, though it doesn't do much. Crosshair hums a bit and takes his head off your shoulder. "I'm gonna go make us some ramen." He runs a soft hand along your jawline before going to the kitchen. "Be right back."

After about four minutes, he comes back with two packs of ramen (those pre-made containers) of your guys' favorite spicy beef ramen, along with forks. Spotter's still in your lap, so it's a feat to make sure she doesn't eat your ramen. Crosshair hands you your container and you smile a bit, as you dig in and he sits beside you. "Bones marathon?" he asks.

"Bones marathon." you agree. Bones is your guys' favorite show, and you're currently on season 8, episode 6 out of 12 seasons. You grab the remote, he puts an arm around you, and tucks you close to his side. You guys stay like this for a few hours, binging, cuddling—Spotter moves to a space between your bodies where there's the most body heat—and finishing your ramen. When your phone buzzes with a call in your pocket, you pause the episode, grab it and pick up. "Hello?"

"This is Mx. Y/N L/N, right?" the doctor's voice has you almost dropping your phone. "Y—yeah, that's me." you stutter, anxiety ratcheting your pulse up and making your leg bounce. 

"Sorry it took so long to get back to you on your consultation about top surgery, but we have an opening."

Your jaw almost separates from your face. An opening. "F—for real?" you ask, trying to make sure you're in reality right now. The doctor chuckles good-naturedly on the other end of the line. "Yes, for real. When are you available for an appointment?"

After the whole appointment planning stuff, you hang up with end-of-call pleasantries. Crosshair looks at you, a small smile on his face—besides, his smiles are only common for you and for Spotter. "You got it?" he asks. You smile back and nod, and he leans in to press a quick, soft kiss to the tip of your nose. "I'm happy for you, babe." he murmurs, this being one of the rare times he uses a pet name for you.

You hum and put your head on Crosshair's shoulder, petting Spotter as you resume the Bones episode you guys are on.

[braceletofteeth]

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

I was tagged by @kissporsche 💕💕 which made me really happy because a few months ago they initiated a conversation with me and I was too much of an introvert to keep it going, so I had thought then that I had lost my chance at friendship forever 🥲

Three Ships

The (un)holy trinity: Hannigram (from Hannibal), Jongmoon (from Strangers From Hell) and VegasPete (from KinnPorsche).

First Ever Ship

It's hard to pinpoint the exact pair... Hmm... I'll tell you about the first one I remember being obsessed about, as in reading all the fics available about them-obsessed. I was eleven? Twelve? Anyway. That would be Cato and Clove, from The Hunger Games. They were not canon in the book (or the movie! They were done SO dirty in the movie!!! I CAN'T EVEN FIND A GIF OF THEM TOGETHER TO INCLUDE HERE 😤), there were just one (or two?) moments that could be interpreted like that, if you had a wild imagination 😅 Fortunately, at that time, me, and a bunch of other kids who enjoyed the tragedy of it all, read too much into it.

So, while everyone else was discussing the love triangle of the main characters or shipping themselves with Finnick Odair, we were in a dark corner crying and throwing up because of two kids who were raised to become killing machines—the star-crossed lovers from District 2, as we liked to call them.

Last Song

Keep Asking Me, by Francis Well. It has a feeling similar to Little House On The Hill, so I think of them as sisters.

Last Movie

Cherry Magic: The Movie. I had already forgotten the gifsets I had seen about it, months ago, so everything was a surprise.

[spoiler alert] My favorites scenes were the ones of Adachi and Kurosawa meeting each other's families, even though it seemed like my heart was going to jump out of my chest in both occasions 😀

Currently Reading

Making my way through the PrapaiSky tag on AO3 (meaning I'm reading literally anything and everything that sounds slightly interesting).

Currently Watching

1. GAP. I haven't watched the most recent episode yet, but it seems we're reaching the climax of the story. I'm already dreading the moment I'll have to let go of all my girls (+ Mon's step-father) :(

2. Star & Sky Series. I've finished Star in My Mind, and I'll start Sky in Your Heart (which is the part two? the spin-off?) soon (allegedly. Never trust a 'soon' coming from me).

3. TharnType. Only a few more episodes to go. Absolutely bonkers show.

4. Summer Strike. The healing type that I had been saving for when I needed it most.

5. Beyond Evil. I had been saying for a long time that I was going to rewatch BE, but never got around to do it (16 episodes! Who has the time!!). My brother was browsing Netflix looking for something for us to watch together, and suggested BE. I thought he was joking (he has already rewatched it 5 or 6 times by himself 🙃), so I agreed, also joking. Turns out, he wasn't joking 😀😀 So now we're watching it again (*in my first time, I watched it with him as well). It's been a really different experience, watching it from the perspective of someone who knows what they should be paying attention to (I wish I had forgotten the details so I could enjoy the unpredictable mystery again, but it seems I still remember most of it 😅) .

Currently Consuming

Crackers.

Currently Craving

Eight (or more) hours of sleep. No waking up because of freezing temperatures, bad dreams, or the men working on a new floor for my neighbour's house in the early hours of the morning.

... I haven't had one of those in a while 😞

Tagging

Since it's people I'd like to get to know better, I'll tag the blogs I started following more recently: @saturnskyline @leporschespam @ronandhermy @teakrush @stillqueerstillhere (it's absolutely okay to ignore this, though 😊✌)

**If there aren't 9 it's because I'm bad at math.

[pedropascalunofficial]

Pedro Pascal and Lena Headey

Head to head interview

Hunger Magazine, Issue 6. Released December 28, 2014. Photoshoot October 15, 2013.

Thirteen million. That's the number of people, on average, who tuned into each episode of the third season of Game of Thrones. Among them was Chilean actor Pedro Pascal, who was as enthralled by the sex and slaughter as the rest of us. But little did he know that within a few months he'd be pitching up on the shores of Belfast to join the cast as Oberyn Martell, affectionately known as the Red Viper. Sound ominous? It is. The Red Viper is GoTs newest anti-hero, “sexy and charming but driven by hate”. Sounds like he'll be right at home.

Pedro, on the other hand, though he looks good on paper, wasn't the obvious choice for the role. Expecting a big name to ride into King’s Landing, the show's fans took to forums to express their concerns as soon as the news broke. So is he worried? Like hell he is. “The fans had the part cast in their minds already. They knew who they wanted and it certainly was not me. But I'm not stupid, | presumed that people were going to say ‘who the fuck is this guy’. Since I anticipated the reaction it didn't throw me off.”

“There are so many different ways to go into battle with yourself when you're trying to get a job. I felt a certain amount of pressure because I wanted to make everyone happy. The fan base is so specific and, as a fan myself, I understand the relationship that they have with the show. The Red Viper is the best part I've ever played, and in season four shocks come at the most unexpected times. You might think you know, but you have no idea,” he explains.

Looks like the Red Viper could be in line to fill a Walter-White-sized-hole in television, but to test the theory we pit Pascal against Lena Headey, aka the Queen. Because if you can come away from Cersei unscathed, you can handle anything.

LH: So, Pedro, you come into Game of Thrones in season four, playing a pretty major character. Does that fill you with joy or dread?

PP: I'd say it fills me with joy because it’s a really fucking fun part. He’s a badass. He comes up against a lot of the main characters in the show. I'm very aware of the show. I watch it like a fan.

LH: Were you a fan before you arrived in Belfast?

PP: Yeah, I was a proper fan. I was caught up in the drama of it before I even auditioned for the part. I was already up to speed.

LH: I remember meeting you and thinking, “he fucking loves the show’.

PP: I kissed your ass.

LH: Well, it worked. We're friends now.

PP: I was like a tourist visiting the set, and yet I had to act with you and be in a scene with the characters that I had such a specific association with already.

LH: So you’re saying it’s boring?

PP: No, it wasn’t boring at all. It was extremely, relentlessly surreal.

LH: And who were your favourite characters up until that point?

PP: Not you.

LH: I realise that!

PP: There are too many characters to have a favourite, but I was fascinated by the Lannisters because they're so frightening. They scared me and then you would come in and pull sympathy from your audience somehow, and I found that rather fascinating. The Northerners were so easy to like or get behind, but it was quite something to see people sympathise with a Lannister, after you made people see things from their perspective.

LH: Speaking of being slightly ambiguous as a character, you come in as a major player and a very well-loved character in the eyes of people who read the books, and he’s somewhat of an anti-hero. Did you base him on anyone?

PP: What does an anti-hero mean exactly?

LH: It means he doesn't wear deodorant, doesn't it? [Laughs]. Someone you shouldn't champion, but you do, like Walter White in Breaking Bad.

PP: No, | didn’t really base him on anyone.

LH: Did you take anything from classic movies that you thought you could use and spin to your advantage playing the Red Viper?

PP: God, that’s a good question. I probably did subconsciously. Now I feel under the spotlight because I need to think of somebody, and I have so many in my mind! I think that’s something that is happening a lot in TV today: the anti-heroes are central to these television shows, and people are really getting behind them, even though they're not necessarily the most moral characters. So I'd say that ‘ve become more familiar with the character who's obviously very flawed but gets you on their side — you have complicated feelings about them. But I think I saw the story too much from this character's perspective to perceive any flaws.

LH: He has some.

PP: I know, from the outside. But I don't see any of them. What are his flaws?

LH: His flaws? He's a dirty bastard!

PP: Why is he a dirty bastard? He likes to fucking fight, for sure.

LH: Back to you as an actor. You've done it for a long time and, as we all know, the path is not always golden, and sometimes you think, “fuck it” and you want to leave it and do something else. Have there been moments where you wanted to give up?

PP: Yes, there have been moments where I came very close to giving up. But I never had anything to fall back on. I think you can understand that.

LH: Because were stupid?

PP: We're stupid.

LH: I can't even make pizza!

PP: We don’t have any other skills.

LH: None at all!

PP: And that’s the odd conundrum. You get to a point where you think, “This isn’t going to happen. This isn’t sustainable. I'm too exhausted, and it can't be good for me.” There were moments where I truly did try to formulate an idea of what I'd do. I thought I'd go back to school, start pre-med again and go to medical school or something like that.

LH: But that didn't happen, you just thought about it?

PP: Yes, I'd have thoughts, but it was still fantasy really. But at the time it felt like a practical life plan. Do you know what I mean?

LH: Yeah of course, you need to pay the fucking rent.

PP: Exactly. You just try to escape from the chaos of what you're feeling by trying to create order in your life. Order seems like a solution to save you from the pain of acting!

LH: It's a mental pain. Who was the first person you called when you got the role?

PP: My sister.

LH: Does she watch the show?

PP: Yes, she does.

LH: Pedro Pascal... or Pablo as I called you when I had too much wine, which was deeply insulting.

PP: Even family members have done that to me! Do I look more like a Pablo? Because it happens with about ninety-five percent of the people I meet.

LH: No, I think I’m just an ignorant drunk person.

PP: No, you were an ignorant drunk person that night is what you're saying.

LH: And now I’m educated.

PP: [Whispers] But | want you to call me Pablo.

LH: Ok, Pablo! When you first arrived on set in Northern Ireland, what was your feeling showing up to a bunch of British actors? Did it feel different to doing an American project?

PP: Yes, but I loved it. It wasn’t intimidating. I found it surreal because I’d watched and loved the show. I hadn't had the opportunity to work on something that I was really familiar with before, so it was overwhelming. But it was far more delightful than intimidating. Also you guys were really cool. Everyone was friendly.

LH: Oh, that’s just fake.

PP: Well, you guys were good at it!

LH: We know Game of Thrones is very popular obviously. Do you have any thoughts, or fears, about what this is going to bring you in terms of exposure?

PP: I have hope.

LH: Oh, God. I don’t mean to shatter that, but give it up.

PP: I don’t know really. It’s all been filmed, and now I'm back to my normal routine, so I haven't really thought about it. I remember when we finished filming and we were on our way to the airport, you asked me, “How does it feel you're all done?” and I couldn't really answer.

LH: You were quite emotional that day.

PP: I was very emotional because I’d had such an amazing time doing the part. Also just being there immersed in the experience... You described it to me best. You told me how I'd be feeling.

LH: We don't know your character's backstory when you enter the show, and you have some rather brutal scenes. Anyone who has read the books will know what I’m talking about.

PP: My character comes in, he stirs a bunch of shit up, and then he makes this fucking enormous exit. Now can | ask you a question?

LH: What is it? I’m not going to sleep with you. Give it up.

PP: Oh, come on! This has gone to shit and it’s your fault, so good luck to whoever has to edit it! But anyway, sometimes I'd hang out with the cast members and we'd go to dinner and they would get stopped constantly. There was no denying who they played because they were so recognisable, but you got away with it because you have this beautiful blonde wig on in the show, and in real life you are...

LH: Grey?

PP: {Laughs] No! You have beautiful chestnut hair! Is it liberating to not be recognised the way some of the other cast members are?

LH: Yes, it is liberating.

PP: Liberating being able to walk down an alley in Dubrovnik without being stopped?

LH: Yes, except sometimes | get recognised in the weirdest places. A woman was emptying my bag at Heathrow Airport's security gates and just went, “Are you the Queen?” while rummaging through my underwear. It was so fucking weird.

PP: It seems they're more respectful to you?

LH: Because they're frightened. Wait until they meet the Viper.

PP: Well, that covers it.

LH: I think we're going to get our own show out of this, you know

Interested in learning more about Pedro? Check out Pedro Pascal Unofficial on Pinterest!