#i havent played any games since bbs

[dreamsy990]

SPONTANEOUS MINI REVIEW BECAUSE I REALIZED THAT I HAVENT FUCKING TALKED ABOUT FRAGMENTARY PASSAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok so. i actually really liked this one!

so uh. if you witnessed that incredibly long thread i made yelling about kh3 you will know that i. am not a fan of the look of modern kh. i think its kind of uninteresting compared to the delightfully cartoony style and just generally i dont like more realistic looks to games that already had a unique visual identity.

so im here to say that i think it works for 0.2! im a good way through kh3 and i dont think it works well there and ill get to that when i eventually review that game but. in 0.2 i think the new style fits the more dark tone very nicely, and the enviornments are absolutely gorgeous. like i came out of ddd thinking absolutely nothing could top symphony of sorcery in terms of world design and was proven wrong. the realm of darkness is my new favorite kh "world". for my mutuals who havent played kh, look at this!!! its absolutely gorgeous

and the environments are actually my favorite thing about this game. besides being beautiful, theyre also delightfully trippy and unsettling. theres a section where you have to climb up a seemingly never ending staircase, and every time you reach what you think is the top you hear aquas worst thoughts. a lot of the areas are twisted, destroyed versions of worlds seen in bbs. its very dark (fitting, for the realm of darkness) and honestly its a treat to just walk around admiring the view. the visual storytelling is as good as kh ever gets.

i briefly mentioned aquas thoughts a minute ago so ill bring them up again, her commentary adds a lot to the desolate atmosphere, and this game really feels like a character study. it shows her desperation, her worst thoughts, her hope despite everything, and its just genuinely good. i havent been able to say that about khs character writing since like. days. its GOOD.

i am. not a fan of bbs' writing. i think its got a good underlying concept with absolutely terrible execution, and it makes me wonder at times if the things i like about it were intentional or not. but this game takes the best written character of bbs and gives her more depth than they ever could before. i can say with confidence that aqua is one of the best characters in the series, and a lot of it is because of this game.

the tone here is very gloomy, but thats not really a complaint because the game is so short. the depressing atmosphere isnt too much to bear because youre barely in it for more than 2 hours. and i think that run time is EXACTLY long enough. it goes for exactly as long as it needs to tell the story and still give a moment to breathe.

as for gameplay. im not the biggest fan of the updated system. i like to think im open to change with kh's combat. i think the command deck has potential and the card system in com was fun and i actually liked days' panel system. but something about the way this new version of the system feels to play is just. unsatisfying. hits dont feel like they have any weight to me, and spells feel inconsequential despite being more grandiose than ever. its just not as good as it was before, and like its a sort of half assed replacement of reaction commands. the way they incorporated style changes into it was okay, but again its not as satisfying as it was in bbs. but maybe it was just satisfying in bbs because the rest of the combat there sucked

tldr, the things i care about in a game (writing and visuals) were fucking spectacular, but the gameplay definitely had room to improve. also if i ever have to fight a darkside again ill throw up and cry! 8/10, though im tempted to raise it to a 9 for the environments alone

[cerealmonster15]

HELLO. YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS !! IT IS GAME TIME !!!

This quiz is very simple :) you shouldn't have any problems with it :) it's just their names after all !!!! Tell me which character each name is 😊

Admittedly though, taking this chance to study up on them myself bc even though I play on the JP server, I only recognize a couple of these 😭

カリム・アルアジーム

ルーク・ハント

ジャック・ハウル

ジャミル・バイパー

フロイド・リーチ

リリア・ヴァンルージュ

ジェイド・リーチ

ラギー・ブッチ

リドル・ローズハート

トレイ・クローバー

アズール・アーシェングロット

エース・トラッポラ

シルバー

マレウス・ドラコニア

オルト・シュラウド

エペル・フェルミエ

デュース・スペード

ケイト・ダイヤモンド

イデア・シュラウド

セベク・ジグボルト

レオナ・キングスカラー

ヴィル・シェーンハイト

excuse me. Oh my god.

see if you had asked me these back in like, late 2020/early 2021 i maybe wouldve done slightly better than im about to do bc the only way i could ever find twst fanart back then was by constantly copy pasting their names into pixiv bc there wasnt much of an english fanbase at the time... virtually none on tumblr... but i havent done it much recently- i did a few days ago [from when u initially sent this LOL] but it's nothing compared to when i did it like, DAILY jklfdsjklfds

at least. at least silver is a freebie LOL

umm. Ok this one both first and last name end in ム but I don’t know what ム is 🤔 I think this is gonna be Kalim or ruggie. The ム is probably either -im or -ie bc they’re the only ones left that have names that have that pattern… going with KALIM bc I have another guess later for ruggie

uhh. god i remember the dashes in some of these names specifically tripping me up when i was learning how ship names worked LOL. Mmmm I think it’s either gonna be rook or vil bc the name is short and snappy and written similar to Ace (I think. Maybe I got fucked on the Ace guess bddbcbfbf) but the last name seems shorter which makes me wanna think it’s rook? The last names both end in the T/-to sound…. ト you are Everywhere…. OH but I think it’s ROOK HUNT bc the next one I said is Jack howl and both of the last names for those two start with ハ so maybe that’s a hhhhhh sound??? Rook bb is that you???

Backwards process of elimination from 7 and 4, I think this one is JACK HOWL

i think this one might be azul or jamil but idr which LOL. i mean it looks too long to be either of them BUT im almost positive that triple line thing was in there when i looked up azujami LOL and i dont see it anywhere else so umm. idk jamil maybe??? unless i recognize that one for a different name and remember wrong sfjdsklfjd. Ok yes I think it’s Jamil bc of my same reasoning for #7

leech. Floyd?

Liiiilia? Going off ア at the end of probably idia matching here. Lilia please do not bamboozle me AGAIN

leech. Jade? I was back and forth for a while but since three characters start with the Ja- sound and there are three names with that same character at the start… I think this is Jade.

Ummm. R-ruggie. Maybe. Going on yet another limb bc it ends in チ and the only other names that end in that are leech, so maybe bucci’s ch sound matches??

A bit of a stretch guess but I’m gonna say riddle? For the same ド reasoning i say in 17; riddle has that -do sound near the end of his name but I feel like there’s an extra sound thing after it. Specifically when trey screams his name in book 1 but I can’t really remember LOL. But the last name also has ト… -to… rosehearts… rosehear-to….

trey or cater. i think trey.

Doing another stretch guess and saying azul, bc he’s the only one with same letter for both his initials and this one has a same character at the start of both. I am hesitant bc az and ash I would think might be different? But I can’t think of anyone else that would have a similar start 🤔 and the length of names looks possible. And by that logic, ト at the end might be the -to sound, which does line up with the to- for like trey’s name. Idk how it’s actually spelled but when I mumble it to myself that’s what it sounds like hdjfjfngng

Ace I think, with the ト in tr- appola to match tr-ey and ashengrot-to… which I mean in English maybe doesn’t match but I think I’m Japanese spelling/pronunciation they are??? Also this one looked familiar from my pixiv days and I couldn’t place it, but I think the A for a-deuce is what I’m remembering LOL

SILVER

Malleus? The ア at the end of maybe draconia matches the -ia for maybe idia and lilia

idia or ortho. I think ortho once again bc of the ト -to sound??

PROCESS OF ELIMINATION YOU WERE THE LAST ONE LEFT. EPEL???

Deuce? Bc names like Jade, Floyd, Diamond, and shroud all have the ド at the end, and spade should have one too I think 🤔 beloved juice spade please don’t fail me now 🙏

cater or trey. i think cater.

idia or ortho. Going with idia bc I decided the other is ortho probably….. ooh and his and lilia’s names mmmmmaybe would end the same? Possibly???

Ok this one and 22 last names both end in ト, that -to sound, and all I have left are Leona vil Epel and sebek, so this one has to be either Schoenheit or Zigvolt… I’m going to completely guess and say this one is SEBEK. bc of the two this name looks less familiar to me and I k ow I used to look up several vil ships on pixiv LOL. also the last name looks shorter. So I think sebek

Ok down to Epel or Leona. I’m going with Leona tho bc it’s Slightly Longer than #16 AND bc silver and Probably Viper both end in the same dash and I think phonetically they sound more like -ar??

Reasoning for 20, I’m saying vil 🤔

LAYS FACE DOWN ON THE GROUND. DO UR WORST WHATS MY GRADE ☠️

[heartmoorstudios]

On the day of launch ish, maybe a few days after im not sure, i played mm and was on bb route. I was at the end of the route, part where bb refused to go to that con i think, and the game just freezes. Like there's no ending or anything, it just eventually stops working. Did i do something wrong? I havent tried to play it again, because im too lazy to replay the whole thing and id be pretty annoyed if i did and it resulted in the same thing, any idea on how i can fix this?

Hi!

So there were a lot of bugs in the initial build of the game. We have since released several updates that have fixed them. It'd be best to grab the newest update from the itch.io page here!

If you run into any more hugs in the new release, please let us know. There are also walkthroughs to get the romance ends for each character in the devlogs on the game page. Hope that helps!

[cheemken]

KNIGHT I HAVENT TALKED TO YOU IN ALMOST A MONTH

How’ve you been? I hope everything’s going well for you

I meant to say this a month ago when I was sharing headcanons, but you turned off asks for a while and I just forgot about it till now

It’s so stupid but despite N not knowing how to use Social Media all that well, and probably other modern devices, this guy is an absolute BEAST at Dance Dance Revolution, Guitar Hero, PaRappa the Rapper, and other rhythm games

Doesn’t matter what type of rhythm game it is, he’s getting top scores and absolutely dog walking everyone else

(Also, I’ll send another ask soon cause I have another AU to talk about)

MY GUY!!!! HI HEY OMF CHCKCNC

Yeah I'm vibing well, shit happened a bit at work but it was low-key thrilling, what abt you? Hope you're vibing well too hahaha

But mood pls that's so real

I imagine him being like,,, just having this poker face when playing, he's not even bobbing his head to the beat he's so fucking focused on the screen and where to tap next like mfer would clear out every level of any hard ass rhythm game and be all "oh, it's over? It was just starting to get fun."

Also it's a mood to imagine him being like Garnet during that one episode, where Steven made her play Meat Beat Mania. Imagine Hilbert and Hilda bringing N to the arcade or the mall once, they introduce him to Guitar Hero, he immediately fell in love lmfaoooo

First song, he didn't get it right at first, he was still getting used to the controls, but after that? Mfer, they had to fucking drag him out the arcade so they can finally go home they've been there for almost the entire day and they're sure N didn't eat lunch bc he was so fucking focused on the game😭🤣

Bet tho since I was also playing a bit of kh bbs recently, imagine Iris and Hilbert playing that tho, and like, during Ventus' bit they made N play the Ice Cream rhythm mini game in Disney Town bc it's so fucking impossible sometimes it's so annoying it made me wanna throw my tab like girl you have no right to be so fucking tedious it's even shittier than collecting the stickers

Anyways where was I —

But yeah, that's so real your honour hahaha

[glamournessmygod]

me seeing the new kh game and stuff in general:it's cool but meh

me seeing lea/axel:*literal whale sounds*

[simpinforkirari]

spare me some cuddles, sir

(with tsukki, kenma, and sakusa) 

i have a ton of drafts i havent finished due to school lol. this has been in my drafts for 2 weeks-

(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ ✨✨

✎ warnings: none 

✎ word count: 718 words ^0^

✎ also-! g/n reader

tsukishima kei

you two like to walk home together, either to your house or his

anyways when you get to his house you kick off your shoes

and lay them properly, tsukki doing the same

he literally tugs you upstairs before his brother or his mom sees you

you always gravitate towards his dinosaur figurine 

he thinks it’s cute

pulls you into bed with him, a little, just a little harshly

you would’ve tried to complain and pretend you didnt want them

but he knows you too well

“tsukki? i thought we were gonna study?”

“shh, shh. lets just do this for a while, ok?”

“heh, ok then :))”

you very much loves his cuddles and will accept them any day

(PLEASEEE IM SO TOUCH STARVED)

reaches over to his bedside table and hands one of his earphones to you

then puts on the other one

plays a collaborative playlist both of you made

adjusts you on his arm (gotta make sure both of you are comfy )

and one of your arms is splayed across his torso  ʕ ᵔᴥᵔ ʔ

if you were to fall asleep, he’d lay there just admiring you

memorising every feature on your face

every mole, freckle, pimple and pimple scar

he makes sure to lightly peck each of them while you nap

wants to bask in the moment before he has to wake you up again

kozume kenma

“kyanma !!”

he doesn’t really like being called that, but maybe for you he’ll let it slide just this once

bb likes to not be disturbed when he’s gaming 

and you respect that

but sometimes you just want a tiny little bit of attention from him

so maybe just a couple of kisses  (づ￣ ³￣)づ

getting up from the laying position on his bed, you sit beside him on the floor

and just give him a lil peck on the cheek

that’s enough for him to pause his game

kenma spares a glance at the clock hung on your wall

with a hum of recognition to your question, he faces you again

“yes, kitten?”

“are you almost done?”

you jump up onto his bed again

kenma crawls on top of you and places a light feverish kiss on your collarbone 

“actually i can finish this tomorrow”

“oh, ok then :D”

he lets you play with his hair, its always fun to twirl around your finger

everytime you’d doze off and stop petting his hair, he gets grumpy

grumbling into your chest, he nudges his head towards your resting hand

you continue to play with his hair, a light airy laugh making it’s way past your lips

he would usually be playing with the drawstrings of your hoodie, sometimes even tying it into a bow

its mutual comfort for the both of you, tbh

sakusa kiyoomi

after training cuddles

i feel like he can tolerate being sweaty but likes it’s better when he isnt

with that said,,,, cuddles come after training

its almost like a little reward

you two enjoy doing homework together at your house, since doing stuff with him just makes you feel better abt anything really

most of the time its just you playing with his curls

very fluffy curls

sakusa leans back on the headboard of your bed while you work on the floor, trying to finish the model you needed for science quickly so you can finally rest

after gluing down a piece to the board, you grumble throwing your head back

“my neck hurts” you say, rolling your neck from right to left

sakusa lifts his head up, sparing a glance at you, his curls bouncing along.

i don’t think he would be very public with affection with around other people but around you, he’s alright with it

kiyoomi beckons you over, you quickly complying. standing up and leaving the mess you made to sit on your bed

he pushes his books aside and extends his arms to you, with you falling right into them

he savors all the moments with you even if it’s just him running his fingers down your back while you rest your eyes

pecking your forehead he gives out a reminder

“take a break, hm?”

“ok” you answered, nodding against his chest

“dont fall asleep yet” he mumbles against your head before leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your hair

[imaginethathaikyuu]

hi, lovely! im unsure if my ask went thru bc my wifi sUCKS. it was abt kenma getting distracted by his s/o (who was just doin normal stuff behind the camera like reading or smth) during a twitch stream and he’s super needy for kissies and maybe a lil horny 👀 and thinking abt dry humping for some reason. i think it was smth like that? sorry for disturbing u!! hope u have a nice day bb mwah ilysm

i havent been able to stop thinking abt this request since i got it so here u go, thank u sm!

gender neutral reader*mild nsfw*

-

Ever since you started keeping Kenma company while he was live streaming, he started enjoying work even more. Not that he ever disliked being a streamer, but having you in the room sitting next to him - far enough away that you weren’t in the camera shot, but close enough that he could reach over and put a hand on your knee - was comforting for him. Even after years of doing this, he still managed to have a bit of stage fright when the camera was on. You helped take that away. 

He was in the middle of a stream that was taking a lot out of him; he wasn’t doing particularly well at the game he was playing, and he didn’t really want to be playing it, either. His mind was elsewhere. 

While you were typically more of a security blanket, tonight you were a distraction.  

For some reason, he just couldn’t stop glancing over at you. You had your eyes glued to a book, so it wasn’t like you were doing anything purposely distracting. But you just looked cute with your bottom lip between your teeth and one of his beanies on your head and wearing a t-shirt that was hanging dangerously low, and he really didn’t want to take his eyes off of you. And your foot that was situated in his lap was only adding to his problems. He kept waiting for you to look up and catch him staring, but you never did. 

And he was going to use you as his excuse for losing again rather than his lack of skill at the game. 

Kenma rubbed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. 

“Okay. Time for a break.” 

He looked over to the stream’s chat box to see what his viewers were saying and he let his hand drop down to his lap, resting it on your leg. 

Someone asked, “is y/n with you?” Kenma read the comment out loud and then looked over at you, smirking. “Are you?” 

“I am,” you replied, smiling at him. 

He nodded, “yep,” as he sank a bit further down in his chair, getting more comfortable. He pulled his headphones off his head and sat them on his desk a bit too haphazardly - they were really starting to hurt his ears - and he found himself wishing you could come closer to him. 

Kenma was frustrated, to say the least. Tonight’s stream hadn’t gone even almost well - he swore this would be the last time he let his viewers vote for which game he played, and he was serious this time. Kenma hated playing games he was bad at, but his fans seemed to love to watch him lose. 

It was even worse that you were always in the corner of his eye and your foot was always sitting innocently in his lap. And it was innocent - you weren’t distracting him on purpose, and you definitely weren’t trying to get him all riled up. But your shirt was hanging so low, and every time he looked at you he could see the bite mark he’d left on your shoulder just the night before. A small part of him felt bad for leaving a mark like that - a bigger part of him wanted you to get on his lap again so he could give you another. 

He groaned before suddenly realizing he had been quiet for quite some time, but he was struggling to come up with anything to say. This wasn’t like him, he should be focusing on work. 

But the more he tried, the more he wanted to clock out early. 

“Okay,” he said with a sigh. “I think I’m gonna call it a night…” 

As usual, comments flooded in, everyone telling him not to go. He wasn’t going to listen to them. 

“We’ll make next time a longer stream to make up for it…” 

He really didn’t sound like he meant it - maybe because just the thought of streaming again any time soon tired him out.

While doing his typical sign off to the stream, he couldn’t stop thinking about how badly he just wanted the cameras to be turned off, and what he’d do after. He secretly hoped you’d pounce on him the moment the stream officially ended, because you could just tell how frustrated he was and you had the perfect thing to relax him. You’d straddle his lap and your hips would rut into his and you’d let him bite your neck as he moaned for you; all of the frustration that had been building up would just melt away, Kenma would finally feel better. 

Or maybe he’d be the one who pounces on you, kissing you as well as he knows how to before pulling you up from your seat and leading you to the bed. He’d settle between your legs while you undressed him and instead of thinking about the stress of winning a video game, he’d be thinking about nothing but his need for you, and maybe he wouldn’t even bother hiding his moans. Maybe he’d want you to hear them this time. 

Or maybe… 

“Kenma?” 

He looked up at you; your book was closed and your shirt was finally pulled up into place. He pouted a bit at the sight. 

“Hm?” 

Somehow in the midst of his daydreaming, he had managed to finish the stream and go offline. He wasn’t sure how he did it. 

“You okay? You had at least an hour left, babe.” 

He gave you a quiet nod, not knowing what else to say. 

Of course nothing he thought about was going to happen. It just wasn’t realistic, was it? Pouncing on each other wasn’t really something the two of you did - hell, you probably thought what the two of you did last night would hold Kenma over for the next month. 

“Kenma,” you hummed, poking his thigh with your toe. 

“What?” he sighed, and he’s sure he’d sound grumpy to anyone else but you. 

But he was right. Those things he’d spent the last few minutes fantasizing about weren’t going to happen tonight. And he knew it for a fact when you pulled your foot out of his lap, and then sank down onto your knees in front of him on the floor. 

“Let me help you feel better,” you said with your cheek resting against his knee; he shifted to sit even lower in his chair, eagerly waiting for what was to come - even if it was something he hadn’t thought about happening. “I can tell you need it...” 

Kenma was glad you knew him as well as you did.

[bloopbyoop]

weep woop

ayo. ive read my scheduled email and its time for freewriting shit again. lmao. I want this post to be like a small light from a lit match stick inside a very hollow, icy, and numbing cave. (sounds cartoonish right? I know. Im obsessed with Adventure Time.) I want all people to be genuinely happy.  Spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Upon reaching my 24th anniversary in this world, I finally learned how to truly embrace all my emotions. Some are more overwhelming than the other, but we have to heed in our treacherous yet perplexing minds that everything is fleeting and we are in control. The feeling of extreme sadness fades, but so does joyful states. Everything can change in a matter of minutes or years. You are in control of all your emotions. You are in control of all your life choices. Your actions. Your words. Your perspective. It feels weird to actually write about it. I've wanted to talk about it. I never wanted help from anyone as I firmly believed that I was alone. Sure, I have a family and friends, but it is hard to see that when your head is clouded with negativity. I've even come to the point where I was too overwhelmed, I found being physically hurt less painful. The pain I felt distracted me from what I was thinking. My mind tended to go bonkers. lmao. But bro, I was so good at concealing my bonkers mind. It's easy to fake any emotion that you have. Slap anything sunshine-y or happy to anything and people would believe you. It went on for years. Long story short, thousands of bracelets collected, it became worse. The physical pain could no longer withhold the emotional pain. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't stop thinking. And voila! I found a good amount of self help books (from tumblr) and novels. Novels that brought me to different places. Self-help books that made me understand what I feel and what to do. I've read that taking the easy way out will leave everyone sad. AND IN THE FIRST PLACEEEEEE, I NEVER WANT THATTTTTTT. I want everyone to be happy. I would act foolish and do dumb shit to make everyone happy in a heartbeat. So, that idea made me push a few more years. Later on, the crippling shit came crawling back again to my head, sooooooo I needed new shit to keep me distracted again. Films, series, music, and short clips from YouTube helped me out a lot. Every single time that my mind is going to think like anything that can think of, even to the point that I was just going to think that I might be hungry, I'd watch something. There's just something about silence for me. Because of this new habit of mine, I've learned more about myself. I love different types of things. I like horror. I like thriller. I like comedy. I like romance. I love all types of films, but there is something about the horror genre that interests me. I still can't point out what, but I love watching horror films. With regards to music, I've learned that I love Indie, Punk Rock, Rap, and Pop. We all can't like a specific genre. It's stupid to ask "what genre of music do you like?". It's not actually stupid-stupid, it's just stupid. Ya know? Anyway, passing this phase, I needed to find something again because it's not doing the shit that it was supposed to, I tried investing more time on video games. By investing more, I mean a whole shit lot. I love video games since I was young cuz.... u know.... they keep u... try to guess it! oh yeah. you got that right! distracted! I love the aggressive plays and trashtalks that my friends and I make. The short stories we tell one another. The rants. The lame jokes. The late night we sound drunk but we are not drunk jokes. The roleplays. The lame jokes. The memes. And once again, The lame jokes. Something about lame jokes and the laughs and curses after that always gets me every single time. Oh shoot. Yup Yup. Few years later, I finally noticed the pattern that my sadness is temporary. I got over it one way or the other (or another. depends on how you wanna read it. i dont wanna say another cause i might write about one direction like what im doing now so-). Happiness is temporary as well. But, we are the ones who are actually in control of our emotions. If you wanna feel sad, be sad for a while. You're getting too sad? Try hanging out with your funny friends. Can't do that? Find an alternative. Watch a movie, knit a sweater. Anything your mind could think of as long as it will keep you mentally distracted from being physically and mentally hurt. I do have a few notes though. We cannot and should never assume what people are going through. It may be petty for you, but it may be very crucial to them. So never everrrr say things like: -Some people have it worse than you -At least you have ..... These sheetsss are annoying as heckkk and could really down someone. I know it is not your intention to annoy but people react differently. alsooooooo, it is not okay or normal to hate on things for bandwagon. that is just plainly crazy and stupid. let people enjoy things. anddddddd never suppress your emotions. admit what you feel inside and try to think of a way to resolve ittttt. keeping it to yourself will just make it worseeeeee. find your own outlettttttttt. hihihi ️ alsooooo. being more spiritually full with God's words and ideas really help me to be spiritually happy. ps. im christian but i dont discredit other religion and even applaud other religion's ideas and beliefs. this is a really long, selfish post so i might as well recommend some things I like : Songs with their lyrics that made me go through life. “I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier” -All These Things That I've Done, The Killers “It's not too late, I'm still right here” -Breaking Your Own Heart, Kelly Clarkson "And the salt in my wounds / Isn't burning any more than it used to / It's not that I don't feel the pain / It's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore / And the blood in these veins / Isn't pumping any less than it ever has / And that's the hope I have / The only thing I know that's keeping me alive" -Last Hope, Paramore “There is not a single word in the whole world / That could describe the hurt / The dullest knife just sawing back and forth / And ripping through the softest skin there ever was / How were you to know?” -Hate to See Your Heartbreak, Paramore "It's holding on, though the road's long / And seeing light in the darkest things And when you stare at your reflection / Finally knowing who it is / I know that you'll thank God you did" -1800, Logic "Did some things you can't speak of / But at night you live it all again / You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now / If only you had seen what you know now then" -Innocent, Taylor Swift (My bb) "10 months sober, I must admit / Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it / 10 months older, I won't give in / Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it // Rain came pouring down when I was drowning / That's when I could finally breathe / And by morning gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean" -Clean, Taylor Swift “I guess I always knew / That I had all the strength to make it through.” -Believe in Me, Demi Lovato "I'm addicted to the madness / I'm a daughter of the sadness / I've been here too many times before / Been abandoned and I'm scared now / I can't handle another fallout / I am fragile, just washed upon the shore / They forget me, don't see me / When they love me, they leave me" -I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me, Demi Lovato “I'm overwhelmed / I need a voice to echo / I need a light to take me home / I need a star to follow / I don't know” -Nightingale, Demi Lovato "I'm a walking travesty / But I'm smiling at everything. // Arrogant boy, Love yourself so no one has to." -Therapy, All Time Low "I tried it once before but I didn't get too far / I felt a lot of pain but it didn't stop my heart. / But maybe I'm alive 'cause I didn't really wanna die / But nothing very special ever happens in my life / Take the blade away from me I am a freak, I am afraid that / All the blood escaping me won't end the pain / And I'll be haunting all the lives that cared for me / I died to be the white ghost / Of the man that I was meant to be" -Ghost, Badflower "Are the pieces of you / In the pieces of me? / I'm just so scared / You're who I'll be / When I erupt / Just like you do / They look at me / Like I look at you" -DNA, Lia Marie Johnson Movies and series to try : -The Perks of Being a Wallflower (The book is bomb af. if yall havent tried, ur missing out) -The Kings of Summer -Never Let Me Go -The Art of Getting By -Silver Linings Playbook -Winter’s Bone -The Lovely Bones (The script. The words) -Me and Earl and the Dying Girl -American Horror Story -Black Swan

pps. remember that every one has their own pace and point of view. don’t push yourself too hard, and don’t overthink. give yourself time, and respect all your emotions. analyze them but not more than like 5 minutes as anything beyond that might cause you to overthink and be sadder. and sad is not rad. hehe. you got this. you got you. self love is the best even though it can be tricky to do. nobody else is like you. you’re the only one of you (i just remembered me.......... i might have hummed it while typing it mid sentence). consider other people’s opinion but do not let it cloud your own judgement as you know yourself best. dont let other comment’s define you. spread love. vibe people you vibe with. ayeeee lets go!!! 

ppps this is my last post bc im happier now and know myself better. i no longer limit myself on the age that I want. I want to live as long as how God wants me to be. hehe. 

x :D

[therukurals]

Tagged by the very cool @dingyuxi​ (thanks fam!) 

and tagging some mutuals off the top off my head no pressure! @melonatures​, @deokmis​ @gimme-a-chocolate​ @forursmiles​ @digimoo​ @junghaesin​ @rain-hat​ @mockingjaypin @roarofalannister @seongwu

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? I have a couple, but one is red/black, one is blue, and the other white/gray

2. Name a food you never eat. Okra, my mom promised me I’d grow out of my distaste but im 26 and its still no

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? too cold I am a tropics baby i thrive in heat (i know i live in the midwest) 

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? trying to unclog our pipes with a bladder and some amateur plumbing 

5. What’s your favorite candy bar? uhhh, anything chocolate but the kinder bueno ones

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? A couple, mainly basketball and went to one american football game because bb bro was too young to go by himself and i just sat and read a book

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? My roommate and I are dealing with a plumbing issue and trying to fix it and I have a call soon so I said let’s pause and come back to it later. 

8. What is your favourite ice cream? Green tea followed closely by coffee. 

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water

10. Do you like your wallet? Yeah, i like its. its long and solid

11. What is the last thing you ate? a chocolate chip cookie

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? lol no

13. What’s the last sporting event you watched? uhhhh idk, not an actual match but i think some mbappe highlights? 

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? ooooo classic butter or kettle. 

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? uh it was a group chat with my colleagues 

16. Ever been camping? Yeah, when I was young. It wasnt straight camping it was at a site and it was with my girl scout troop lmao

17. Do you take vitamins?  not regularly, sometimes some vitamin c if im feeling a little throat something coming up or iron before i donate blood 

18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? Not in a religious way? and when you do community organizing/work you are in a lot of churches and they always pray at the neighborhood association meetings. 

19. Do you have a tan? lmaooooo. i am blessedly melenated and usually get a nice tan but its winter and lockdown so ive lost some of that :_;

20. Do you prefer chinese or pizza? lmao im with sam on this question, i dont like this question cause its a false equivalency and definitely chinese because the options??? and chinese food is so good???

21. Do you drink your soda through a straw? uhhh....not really? usually in a glass or in a bottle. 

22. What color socks do you usually wear? girl whatever socks i get, they range from black to white to pink to gray they dont match 90% of the time

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? wouldnt you like to know

24. What terrifies you? on a philosophical level seeing my loved ones hurt and failure. more physically? frogs freak me out, people in easter bunny costumes, clowns, and medieval plague doctors, actually the concept of existing in medieval Europe terrifies me 

25. Look to your left, what do you see? im on our large conference table and it has a bunch of stuff but immediately to my life is my phone, some pens, my bullet journal and my copy of “collective courage” 

26. What chore do you hate most? Washing dishes!!!! And compost 

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? idk??? steve irwin? 

28. What’s your favorite soda? Root beer and vanilla coke

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive thrus, because im probably already out and around doing errands. 

30. What’s your favorite number? 13

31. Who’s the last person you talked to? My roommate, again about this plumbing issue. 

32. Favorite meat? I really dont have a preference tbh, depends how they are prepared

33. Last song you listened to? Do it on the tip by Megan thee Stallion ft the City Girls

34. Last book you read? In the middle of a reread for “Collective Courage: A History of African American Cooperative Economic Thought and Practice.” by Jessica Gordon Nembhard and just starting “Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents “ by Isabel Wilkerson. 

35. Favorite day of the week? Saturday 

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? maybe if i tried really hard but im not going to try 

37. How do you like your coffee? With a little bit of creamer and sugar, like a decent brown color. I like the flavor of coffee so i dont want it too diluted. 

38. Favorite pair of shoes? uh, dont really have one but something i can slip in and out of lmao

39. Time you normally get up? around 8/8:30am but in my heart id like to wake up at 10 or 11 ;_;

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunsets!!! also sunrises involve me getting up early and im not doing that hell no

41. How many blankets on your bed? Two since its winter, a comforter and a thick wool one. 

42. Describe your kitchen plates super basic white round plates. 

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment messy, we havent been able to wash our dishes because of the plumbing issue so hopefully that can be fixed today

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? mmmmm, idk? i have grown to like a good whiskey, usually a bulleit bourbon or this one bourbon w get from a local distillery. really any dark liquors, i will not do beer that shits dissssssgusting

45. Do you play cards? not regularly and i have tried to learn how to play eucher and spades and each time ppl explain it to me i forget it the next day and i just dont have that kind of brain capacity. 

46. What color is your car? uh.....so i live in a commune basically lmao and we share vehicles so i personally dont own one but the couple i share with some other folks is Black and gold

47. Can you change a tire? Yeah, one unique thing about my parents were they were very fair around gendered roles(especially for south asians), so my mom was strict with my brother around learning how to cook/clean and my dad taught me how to work on cars/maintenance work around the house. so i can change tires/oil/do other car work  

48. Your favorite state or province? i really like the pacific northwest and miss it.

49. Favorite job you’ve had? being an instructor for a course on globalization in college! also idk if i can classify what i do now as a “job” because its....unique but that too

[house-of-tykayl]

cystar tho (headcanons)

imagine

cyborg and starfire are the cuddliest couple ever. the PDA is incredible. star will perch on his shoulders like he’s a climbing post/bird perch and generally just drape herself all over him bc he’s got a lot of surface area and she wants comfy. and cy will just grab her out of midair for huggles before letting her float away again like a balloon headed straight for the atmosphere. star will float higher when she wants to look over his shoulder at something (bc hes the only titan taller than her) and sometimes cy will just reach up and touch her waist and lead her around in the air like that while they chat

the other titans support them, but are simultaneously disgusted by the excessive amount of PDA. cy sometimes milks star’s affection to troll everyone, especially at the breakfast table. “hey star i havent had my morning kiss today” “oh apologies” “do that long tongue thingy again babe” “if you two dont let me eat my waffles in peace for just ONE morning i will open a portal to the seventh circle of hell and chuck the both of you inside”

star is living for the unabashed affection bc cyborg has no qualms about being proud boyfriend in public. like he’ll wrap an arm around her and go “hey star’s my girlfriend :)” and the grocery store clerk’s like “we know, that’ll be $15.99″ and star’s just beaming, holding the plastic bags full of snacks and unorthodox food combinations

if cy’s generous with the lovin wait till you see star lmao. “you are looking most beautiful today!” she keeps saying shit literally no one else will say, either (possibly) coz of the robot thing or just coz starfire’s being starfire, and cyborg’s just like *clutches_chest.jpeg* because she a lil weirdo but she makes him feel normal and appreciated and that he’s great the way he is, that he’s desired even if a lot of him isn’t organic anymore. like yes!! my boyfriend is comprised of 80% robotic parts!! he is extremely strong and the “cool”!!! is he not absolutely wonderful???

ok but starfire can almost never get enough touching, and cyborg’s just like aight *picks her up and carries her around on his arm for an hour* and she’ll just be giddy the entire time

more under the cut

star doesnt have a lot of preconceived notions of what a normal human relationship is, outside of things she sees on TV and robin’s incomprehensible push-pulling over the years. so she doesn’t care one bit about the fact that she’s cuddling a robot. she’d figured starting a relationship with anyone on earth would be something different for her regardless– so a lot of the things cyborg used to think a partner would find problems with, end up not happening because man, this alien chick. “may i lay together with you in your bed?” “girl are you saying you wanna sleep while standing up?? on my charging port???? surrounded by 3478012 cables and wires?????” “is there no room? then may i sleep on the floor?” she just wants to be with him

heck more bed shenanigans would involve like, cyborg awkwardly trying to lie down on star’s bed, and it feels weird coz he hasn’t slept in a real bed for years and while it feels nice he’s kinda sinking into the mattress and he’s self-conscious about leaving a dent in the frame?? or like rolling over at night and squashing star which would be awkward coz he’s more than a little heavy?? then star hops in and cuddles close and is all like shhhhhhhhh slep time

silkie is usually very happy about cyborg’s presence in star’s room, if only because he can gnaw on cy’s legs while they sleep. cy begins to think it’s also revenge since there’s a lot less space on the bed with himself in it, and silkie struggles to find room near starfire to sleep at night. they eventually just get a bigger bed. silkie is a lot less stressed– but cyborg still wakes up with chew marks in his legs

if either of them are too tired from a battle that day, the other will carry them to bed. BB laughed his ass off the first time he saw starfire princess carrying cy to his room (star’s perfectly capable of carrying his weight but her arms aren’t necessarily long enough to hold onto him properly, making it a little cumbersome and awkward), but cy just tiredly gives B the finger

cy will talk to star in awkward broken tamaranian and she’ll get all giggly. everyone else assumes it’s cute flirting, but he’s actually whispering dirty, raunchy shit. that she taught him. and she continues to teach him tamaranian, occasionally dropping new words while otherwise speaking english, and waiting for him to ask about what they mean.

cy will sometimes smack star’s ass and then run for his life before she can return the favor, because he always ends up with an overly-enthusiastic handprint-shaped dent in his ass. it’s a terrifying game of tag. BB will chase them chasing each other with a camera to add to his album of “cyborg’s dented ass” photos that he shares with the whole titans network

cy teaches star about the niches in earth/american culture, the kinds of things that are a little harder to learn about on your own, or things she otherwise wouldn’t have had a reason to learn. he tells her about old american tv shows and explains obscure slang words and how to make telemarketers hang up first and what the contra code is and why he mashes it in every time he boots up a new video game. it’s a crash course mix of useless trivia and miscellaneous culture that makes star’s head spin– but she’s excited about learning all the same, the power of just knowing more makes her feel more comfortable on a planet where she is always a foreigner

it’s kinda why star adores all the different nicknames cy has for her like “fly girl” “baby doll” etc because it makes her feel “in” coz she gets all these cool nicks of names like other earth people!! she fits in!!!! and he’ll say it so fondly it makes her blush half the time. cy definitely notices and thinks its super cute at how excited she gets over pet names. she tries to nickname him back at one point but it felt awkward and she struggled to come up with them, and cy reassured her that he liked her saying out his name anyway, its cool. just be yourself babey

cy loves teaching star things in general, he’s patient and she’s always an eager student. he once took a few hours showing her how to play video games and while she didn’t really take to it, she did learn how to not break the controller whenever her virtual car’s about to crash into the divider (she still shrieks when it happens though)

initially, star is a bit nervous about touching some of cyborg’s robot parts like the implants and consoles coz she’s not sure how to deal with them? alien tech is one thing and earth tech is another, and then there’s the advanced shit that made up cyborg’s body and literally keeps him alive. she’s petrified at the thought of accidentally breaking something like what if she presses the button that turns off his lungs???????? and cy is like why the fuck would i have a button to turn off my lungs?? so one day cy just sits her down so she’s leaning back against his chest, and he looks over her shoulder as he shows her how to navigate his arm console. press this button and choose this option, no the screen wont break even if you press hard, dont use the browser to download malware on my arm like BB did, etc. the ui’s pretty intuitive and star gets it pretty quickly, then she gets all excited. cy teaches her about all the maintenance he does on his body and how his charger works and all that shit and she like oooooo

“if the t-car is your baby, does this mean i am its mother? cyborg does she like me enough? should i assist in changing her oil? *panicking* WILL SHE ACCEPT ME AS HER ADOPTED K’NORFKA?!”

(the t-car is a sassy one, easily jealous and protective– but ultimately, she does approve of starfire, if only just barely)

they spend a lot of time in the garage together. whether cy’s fussing with the t-car or putting together a new gadget, star’s a helpful assistant when it comes to welding or heavy lifting. and while she doesn’t necessarily get programming, she still helps cy with all the calculations and math involved in it; the concept of physics as she has encountered on earth is primitive compared to tamaran, and cy will often challenge her to crack a tough equation before his computer can. while the computer usually gets a result first, star will just explain that its answer was wrong in the large scheme of things, before she starts going in depth into that nerdy science shit to find a more effective way to wire whatever project they’re working on and cy’s just like  ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ heart eyes ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ at how smart she is

they fucking love food. while all the titans are hanging out in the common room, star and cy spend an inordinate amount of time in the kitchen. star will literally eat anything, at any time, and cy would go like “yo star want a sub??” and shes like “YES I WOULD LOVE THE EDIBLE SUBMARINES” and they go make the tallest sub ever and then Eat it

they just cook together a lot, one of them being head chef for the hour and the other being the kitchen assistant. cy’s usually in the lead when they’re making food for the other titans (to prevent food poisoning), and star is happy to learn new recipes that aren’t lethal to her friends– that, and licking all the mixing bowls clean. cy purposely gets sauce etc on his face so that star will see and lick it off too. then star will very unsubtly smear food on her face so that cy will wipe it off with his finger and then things get handsy. (they’re both aware it’s a game, but they pretend like they don’t.)

cy gets them matching aprons and a tiny chef hat for star. she asks him why it’s so tiny or even necessary but he just thinks its cute af on her lol

it helps cy’s ego when star will also eat literally anything he puts in front of her while enjoying it unironically. of course, cy quickly learns that starfire’s favorite “earth” foods are things that most people wouldn’t consider food at all, so while he’ll prepare Real Food for himself, he had to start a new custom cookbook for the random combinations of ingredients that starfire likes to ingest. he’s torn between feeling like his chef skills go to waste on her, or being proud at how good he’s become at figuring out the kinds of food combos she likes based on the flavors and consistencies she’s inclined to. but ultimately she’s just so cute and happy when she smiles at the taste of m&ms on raw steak that cyborg’s just like ahh. fine.

cyborg: *sighs while writing* “edamame in a cherry-chocolate reduction: get a handful of fresh edamame, washing is optional, pour hershey’s chocolate sauce all over it, add cherries but don’t remove the pits or the stems, sprinkle in some drops of 7up, then cover that shit in mustard. stick it all in the microwave for 1 minute, doesn’t really matter what temperature? prep time: 3 and a half minutes. the fuck did i just write”

star: *wolfs down that edamame shit like its the best goddamn thing ever*

raven:

meanwhile, while cy can’t stomach star’s tamaranean food, he does go out of his way to learn how to prepare the stuff himself, for whenever star’s sick or feeling down. the nostalgic taste of home tends to help her feel better. the bowls of wustlepus might keep trying to strangle him, but hey, cy can handle it

cy used to think we was master of stuffing his face, but he quickly found out that you do not challenge an alien with 9 stomachs to an eating competition and expect to win. it’s still fun, of course, to pick a restaurant and watch her slowly but surely put away food with a grace that cy doesn’t (care to) have. robin and BB cheer will them on, raven is disgusted but plays referee anyway (even though it’s not like the result ever changes)

“are the table manners required for today’s duel of excessive food consumption?” star will ask cy innocently, but she’d be smiling a lil smugly because she knows she’s gonna win like always

(at some point, the restaurant manager will start eyeing them nervously from the doorway of the staff room, unsure about whether to ask the titans to leave before they run the kitchen dry, or to take advantage of the publicity.)

cy and star are a couple that isn’t inclined to subtle about anything. that means smooching all the time. mwah noises. flirting. glomps. yelling at shit together for fun– cy just expresses himself loudly, while shouting at each other is a form of affection on tamaran. they’ll sometimes wrestle, sometimes arm wrestling and sometimes all out full-body on the floor (actual wrestling tho, not a innuendo; star usually wins). they keep denting walls and furniture with their messing around and the other titans are like /(e_e)\ *passing out earplugs* and at some point robin is like guys… just… keep it in your rooms please

but being loud isn’t exclusive to daytime. nobody fucking knows how the hell an alien and a robot get it on, but based on all the god damn noise at night, they’ve apparently figured something out. maybe more than one something. it is a mystery

“hey, star… ever heard of a vibrator?”

most of their making out happens in the gym tho, let’s be real. they’ve been checking each other out for years in there. now they just get frisky after (or during, or before) a workout, culminating in yet another “workout”. they never lock the door, and after enough incidents the other titans just end up boycotting the gym entirely in lieu of the other training room

with the added privacy, star opts to work out in the gym without a top on. or a bra. then she heads for the treadmill

“you never wear clothing, cyborg, so why should i?”

cyborg keeps dropping his weights on himself and just ends up covered in dents, two mangled prosthetic legs, and having done no training at all

they’re such a peppy excited pair that sometimes things can get a bit too wild. there’s a pile in the back of cy’s room made up solely of dented/crushed/melted/ripped arm and leg prosthetics, all damaged because cy was busy pampering his superpowered alien gf a lil too much. starfire feels super bad but cy is like, he has to fix his limbs after a lot of battles anyway, it’s no big deal. he also hasn’t bothered to suggest a workaround yet because watching her lose control is hot (and maybe getting his hand melted is kinda kinky)

they sometimes troll the other titans– usually robin– by whispering in tamaranian behind them and snickering, pretending like they’re talking about them. robin used to be extra miffed by this, but after learning that cy’s tamaranian is actually still shit enough that he has yet to learn to string together a proper sentence longer than 3 words, robin knows they’re just fucking around with him. at one point robin turns around on the couch and throws some tamaranian right back at them and cyborg’s like :O what the fuck? what the fuck?? and star’s like yeah actually robin asked me to teach him tamaranian too. and robin’s like :) and cy is grumpy he can’t antagonize him with it anymore (and that it’s not exclusively his and star’s code language anymore, but really, you can’t own a language like that)

star likes to cart cy around while flying, but he’s just so bulky that he doesnt look all graceful and shit like robin; he just looks kinda goofy dangling in the air with her holding him under the arms. but even if he felt a little self-conscious, he forgets it quickly when she lets him skim the ocean with his feet or take him up over the clouds– he’d thought he lost everything with the accident that left him a robot, but getting to fly like this is something he never could’ve even dreamed of even when he was all human. like. this must be what it actually means to be living. everything happens for a reason

cy gets a UV lamp installed in his body just in case they get stuck somewhere and there’s no sunlight for star, he can’t replace the sun but it might help

he also turns his heaters up a bit when they’re cuddling coz he knows she likes warmth, as long as he’s not running the risk of overheating his system, but his metal parts can be cold to the touch and while she doesnt mind it at all he just wants her to be cozy….

cy’s like the only titan taller than star, so she usually floats to be eye level with him. he big and bulky and strong and he reminds her of galfore, and that’s part of why she always felt protected and safe around him. not to mention star’s been getting taller than most earth people her age; she sometimes feels like a tall poppy, sticking out of the crowd too much. so she lowkey enjoys being smol for once compared to cyborg, especially if she ever feels like hiding behind him, or being carried by him, the comfort of a sort of bodyguard that she doesn’t necessarily need but is there if she wants

i keep bringing this up but star sitting on cyborg’s shoulders/arms like. the result is this tall stack of a couple that towers over all the other titans– then like everyone will be chilling on the couch when they hear making out noises from above and they look up and its just star floating around cyborg’s head as they smooch and everyone’s like -_-

all the meme fun aside, they’re always able to confide in each other whenever they’re upset. they’ll sit together in silence and just lean on each other or hug and wait for someone to spill. if (when) it comes down to “will i ever fit in?”, because that kinda worry never completely goes away, they’ll be reassured that they know the few places they’ll always be accepted– and that’s in the titans, or in the unconventional relationship between a half robot and an alien nuclear bomb

star likes being around cy coz he’s so sturdy, in more ways than one– he’s strong enough to tank stuff so it’s safer to roughhouse with him. she loves being able to give the biggest of hugs without worrying too much about crushing a ribcage (earthlings and their Fragile Little Bones!)

cy loves how small star is compared to him bc shes fun to pick up or pluck from the air and cuddle ♥ and she’s so warm, just radiating heat both literally and metaphorically and she’s so full of life and heart, and cy’s once again reminded of what it really means to be human– by a goddamn alien, no less

they like to touch each other’s faces, just caressing n stuff like they do in “how long is forever” and the teen titans go comic #24, staring into each others eyes and shit and going all (uwu) they just love to touch each other okay even back when they were just friends!!!!!!!

HAVE I MENTIONED THE SMOOCHES. star will just kiss cy all over his face because its fun and she knows he likes it. then cy returns the favor, except with increasingly exaggerated kissing and nomming noises because it makes star laugh and blush like crazy. it’s horribly embarrassing for anyone else watching. star & cy are usually standing in the middle of the corridor by this point, and then robin was gonna head to his office, but once he sees the path is blocked– by this no less– just returns the way he came without a word

if anyone tries to make star feel uncomfortable for being alien or misunderstanding something, which does still happen sometimes, they’ll quickly find out they’ve got the goddamn terminator comin for their ass. or they’ll turn around and see 6 foot tall robot man with arms crossed and red eye glowing and he’ll be like (: hey there (:

star keeps leaving the garage with motor oil all over her face. none of the other titans knows how to address it, or if they even should, so they don’t

anyway theyre in love

[violentviolette]

Get To Know Me

Tagged by @willowenigma i fkn love that u tagged ONLY ME and were like “here bitch i know ur bored” lmfao

One / Name/Alias: Jack altho i get called lots of things. i’ll answer to pretty much anything

Two / Birthday: Feb 24th

Three / Zodiac Sign: pieces. its why im like this

Four / Height: 5’2

Five / Hobbies: hah. uh. i play video games? nah but when i wrangle my depression back into its cage i like to think of myself as a maker but i really dont have the space to take on any big projects rn. altho recently ive been thinking about making a big tome/spellbook but we’ll see. one day i will build myself a home tho. i am determined.

Six / Favorite Color: all black everything

Seven / Favorite Books: the gingerbread series, hunger games, but inside im screaming

Eight / Last Song I Listened To: dont think twice by utada hikari because im replaying ventus’ route in BBS and im back on my kingdom hearts bullshit. also someone save vanitas. pls.

Nine / Last Film I Watched: detective pikachu? i think? i havent been watching a lot of movies cause its anime season so instead i binge 13eps of a series in a single sitting and cry. No. 6 had no right to go that hard.

Ten / Inspiration for Muse: pent up manic energy and spite

Eleven / Dream Job: nothing. capitalism is the death of humanity

Twelve / Meaning Behind My Tumblr Name: im a slut for alliteration lol nah but ive been going by some variation of “violette” online since i was like 13. its spelled like that because i stole it from Jawbreaker (which if uve never seen go watch it right now its beautiful and was way ahead of its time). i came up with the “violent/violence” addition in college when i needed a longer tag name

Thirteen / Three Favorite Ships: oof. theres so many? im starved for love and so i ship anything with a pulse. but lets go with Shiro and Keith from voltron, Axel and Roxas from Kingdom hearts, Soul and Maka from soul eater, and as a bonus Katsuki and like half of 1A from bnha lol is it obvious i fucking live for angst yet?

Fourteen / Lipstick or Chapstick: chapstick. ive got bfrb (body focused repetative behavior) and so i pick at and bite my lips constantly. wearing lipstick is Torture it genuinly makes me so anxious. altho as a side effect my mouth is almost always bloody

Fifteen / Currently Reading: nothing really. ive mostly just been going thru julien/asra fics from the arcana because im trash.  

not gonna tag anyone in particular but if u see this and are hella fucking bored, have at it

[tumblunni]

For the kingdom hearts asks: choose your top 4 questions. 😆

1. Where would have been your home world?

Maybe Halloween Town? Or one of the final fatasy crossover places.

2. What would be your starting keyblade?

I like Fenrir, I think it pulls off the ‘looks like a car key’ thing better than riku’s new keyblade in 3. Like its not just straight up a regular car key with no additional decorations, like how the regular keyblade isnt a regular key with no decorations. Just having some weird patterns and bandages on the thing makes it neater! Also kinda resembles the key to the temple of the ancients from orignal ff7.

Tho if i had to choose between only ones that were already starting keyblades in other games, I’d say i like Aqua’s one the best. Its neat with that weird lazery hollow key shape effect

3. How many allies would you have with you as you travel?

aALL OF THE FREMSDS

4. If in a party, what would be your main role (e.g. tank, healer, synthesizer, etc.)

combination tank/damage dealer. Runs into the front lines with zero strategy except smacking stuff and Protect Friemds

5. What would be your command list if you were a D-Link? Limit to 5 commands!

Oh man I actually dont really know how D-Links work cos BBS is one the games i never finished. But uhh probably defense and counterattack stuff?

6. What would be your fighting style?

oh uhh ok better to explain it here! I’d like to be a tanky punchyness, someone who maybe isnt exactly the strongest but they can just keep attacking and annoying the fuck out of the enemy forever. In a party i’d be based around drawing aggro and protecting my friends from attacks but also maybe have some trickstery counter atatcks that give me potential to deal some damage if i get lucky.

7. What would you prioritize? Power, Magic, or Speed?

LOL i always thought it was weird that the mobile game picked those as the three elements when the main trio of the game is clearly power, magic and DEFENSE. and theres loads of enemies who are defense specialists too! i’d be that!! I wanna just be like the annoying Large Body enemy. Big cuddly person who protect they friends to the point its gamebreaking, lol!

8. What would be your ability as a support medal? BONUS, state if it's a single-target or all-target attack, and your SP cost!

Oh man im not very good at the mobile game lol XD I might say a buff defense or lower enemy attack thing cos just those are most necessary to not die in that damn hard game. or if i could have anything even stuff that isnt already possible in the game, then i’d like to be a counterattack! something like if the enemy has buffed themselves you reverse it into debuffs, or you reflect their whole attack. but itd have to have an element of chance to it so maybe it only works if you sacrifice something else, or just on a random flip a coin thing?

9. If you could be partners with one character in the series, who would it be?

URSULA IS MY FAVOURITE DIDNEY

or from the original characters I WANT VEXEN TO BE MY NEW DAD

10. What KHX/KHUX union would you belong to?

in the game i picked the snake one cos i like snake

ive been playing for ages and i still know nothing about what the damn difference is or what the personalites are of any of the bosses

11. What is your favorite magic spell?

its been ages since i played the original games but i recall that i used thunder a lot cos i am bad at aiming, lol

12. Doublejump or glide?

GLIIIIIIIIIIDE

13. Cure or esuna?

cure lol! status effects dont happen often enough to make esuna a mainstay

14. What would be your dodging move?

the goofy kabuki theater dodge pose Quina does in ff9

15. What would you have forgotten in Castle Oblivion?

Probably some sort of dark shit like “your wish is granted to forget your childhood abuse but youre left not knowing who you are because that stuff shaped you from such a young age that its become an unremoveable part of your identity”

16. Would your nobody be just another creature? Or would they belong to the Organization?

*SLAMS FIST ON THE TABLE* WHY NOT BOTH

seriously im still SO mad that all the sentient nobodies look like boring people instead of cool creatures

CREATURE CREATURE CREATURE

17. What would your costume look like in Halloween Town?

oh does anyone remember that time i drew myself a ghostsona? yeah like that! fancy top hat and coattails spoopy~!

18. What sea-creature would you be in Atlantica?

Maybe that ‘sea bunny’ underwater slug species?

19. If you could have one dream eater with you in  your travels, what would it be?

aaaa i havent played KHDDD yet but all of them look so cute and im excited to meet them and find out my favourites!

20. Would you want to travel with a heartless/nobody/unversed with you as a buddy?

YES. YES. YES.

seriously 90% of all my thoughts and posts on this series are just IMMA LOVV THE DARKNESS I WOULD GIVE MYSELF TO THE DARKNESS INSTANTLY TO HUG THESE BABS

21. What would you do if you had free time in a world and didn't have to fight?

HUG THE HEARTLESS

PLAY MINIGAMES

DRESS UP IN WEIRD KINGDOM HEARTS FASHION

SING KARAOKE WITH URSULA

22. In battle, do you prioritize speed or accuracy?

i have no depth perception lol, no accuracy in this house

23. What would be your command style? (2 max!)

i aint play BBS! i aint know! *le shrug*

24. What would be your keyblade transformation?

I aint play kh3 either!

25. What drive form would you use?

ANTI FORM cos i wanna be a COOL CREATURE seriously man FUCK THE LIGHT GIMME THE DARKNESS THE DARKNESS HAS LIL CUTE EYES

26. What would you mainly use flowmotion for?

I aint play KHDDD and also with my bad accuracy i would primarily use it for falling off buildings

27. Would you rely on cure magic, or items for healing?

when i played i was always more of a magicker healer. i feel like itd be the only spell that my khsona has on a mostly physical attack set

28. What would be your break time move?

*breakdancing softly* i aint play BBS dude, i dont kno dis shit

29. What are you better at? Ice cream beat, rumble racing, or fruitball?

it is amazing how much BBS i have not played

30. Would you know how to pilot a gummi ship?

NO i cant even ride a bike IRL lol

31. Would you use the darkness as a weapon?

YES but also NO i would use the darkness as a hugs i would just befriend a bunch of heartless like the dream eaters and cuddle them til they stop being evil

32. WILDCARD, ask me anything!

UHHHH go ahead guys!

[infmuns]

oh hai! you can call me ethan aka smexy loljk no. i am gmt+8 but idk my body clock seems to live in some other timezone tbh so just holla at me at anytime im probs up more often than not LMFAO you can contact me here on tumblr messenger or hmu at discord eggyeool#0330 if you wanna plot! you can also give this a likeylikey and i’ll go slide into your dms for plotting winkwinkwink

anywaaaaaay here are euiin’s links -- profile, pre-amji bg, acceptance. everything you need to know about him is pretty much all in there but below the cut i’ll try and give a tldr, some facts, and plots too so you get to know bb inin.

bio

parents are really famous musicians thats why they really well off. father is a world-renowned pianist and composer, mother is a great singer like really.

thrown into the music world as soon as he’s born pretty much. childhood revolved around music. he took formal music lessons when he was 3 then was already playing the piano really well at the age of 5.

was homeschooled from the very start, amji is his first legit trad school.

he was locked up at home, he couldn’t go outside and play. his life was only school and music. the chances that he was able to go out were only for his parent’s event. he hated those because they only brought him pretty much to show of their perfect child to the world.

the first time ever euiin was punished with the whip was when his parents werent at home and he snuck out of the house to go to the park. he was able to meet someone there and played (possible relationship??) when he got home however he didn’t expect his parents to be home so early so was punished.

so the punishment: he has to kneel down on mung beans and carry heavy books on each hand, while being whipped (think of the whips of sister jude from ahs asylum like that).

eventually it became the usual form of punishment for euiin, every time he disappointed his, made mistakes (even on school work, every mistake was one whip). totally brings new meaning to whip into shape. ayyee

anyway that’s why euiin has lots of scars all over his body, mostly focused on hidden areas like his chest, back, bum, and thighs.

he eventually has a chance to leave and that’s through amji. his parents hear of the school from elite friends and since they didn’t want to lose to them they make euiin apply so they can brag about how their son goes to this elite school etc. really he was just something for his parents to brag about thats it.

euiin manages to pass the entrance exam and being one of the highest scorers of the batch he was able to get a full scholarship. (was asked by his parents to request it, not for financial purposes but just for bragging rights) that’s how yo boi gets into amji ayyyee /dab dab dab

facts

has braces -- most important loljk

so euiin is really smart lowkey genius but he doesnt even know it (was never really praised by his parents so that never really crossed his mind also no competition since homeschooled). he is that classmate of yours that doesn’t need to exert so much effort in studying and yet be able to get the best scores, he still studies really hard though because force of habit. it was through his early music lessons euiin was gifted with amazing brainpower.

also plays other instruments, guitar and violin.

does photog coz that’s the only thing his parents ever allowed him to do aside from music and school. (he really had to beg them though) has his polaroid camera with him at all times in his bag, occasionally brings his dslr usually for psic and photog class because it heavy.

cant play football for his life but is in football team because it was the best option. he was scared to do fencing, didnt want to display his body full of scars in swim team, so there he is in football no idea how to even kick the ball. he feels bad for his time tbh sorry blu team, itskay he’ll understand if he on the benches every game.

is in psic but totally scaredy cat his curious and adventurous self made him do it.

has a weird collection of polaroid photos. since he couldnt go out before amji all his subjects where either himself (hands, feet, face, etc.) or photos captured from the window (creep alert loljk). 

hates beans, u know y.

loves to be loved because he never got any :(

cant sleep well because overthinks a lot specially when he’s just about to go to sleep.

really sweet voice here’s a snippet.

plot ideas

1. youre the friend he met at age 10 when he snuck out. that was the first and last they ever meet each other until recognizing into each other at amji. SHOOkt - winnie but also everythings awkward because they never met again after being bffs in the park.

2. since their parents attend a lot of event you could’ve seen him there once or even frequently but never really bothered until you see him at amji??? (havent thought about this too much we can brainstorm on this)

3. you scare the beejeezzusss out of him when he’s alone trying to take photos for psic.

4. he’s sent on the field to play doesn’t know what to do gets balled in the face and sent to infirmary for a nosebleed, you’re apparently the one to be told to take him there.

5. you catch him playing the piano and/or singing in one of the music rooms, he gets shy but u make him continue playing.

6. he always changes last in the locker rooms so no one sees his scars but unfortunately you’re there just in time to see his body littered of scars. you bring try to bring it up he tries to avoid the subject but he’s obviously triggered. may or may not include crying euiin.

7. you guys go out to hang in hwajang village ayeeee maybe party party and end up with drunk baby euiin because low alc tolerance.

idk hahaha these are pretty alsdfmasdfmsdkfa sowwie TnT 

okay that’s it wow that was hella long i’m sorry :( hahahahah just hmu! i dont bite i promis_9 AYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE cwidt /dabs sorry i’ll go now

[strangecowplant]

Seasons Tags

i was tagged by @duskysimmer thank you bb! ♡ 

1. which season are you going to play with first?

probably autumn so I can transition into winter after!

2. from what you’ve seen in the trailer, what are you most excited about?

oh gosh...so much tbh! more gardening features like flower arrangements, the swing set and kiddie pool, creating my own holidays and playing existing ones and definitely the changes in weather like blizzards!

3. what’s your favorite season irl?

autumn and winter ♡

4. what’s your favorite flower/plant?

I love so many flowers (or rather just...all of em) so its hard to choose >< I do especially love any sort of small ground cover flower or big bushy ones like hydrangea! As for plants I love any sort of succulent, ferns, more ground cover and big ol pine trees

5. are you going to create a new sim/family or are you going to keep your current household?

def going to keep both my current saves, I can’t wait to experience seasons in generation 2 of my legacy because I can experience every season with all age groups!

6. what would you like to see in this new add-on that we haven’t seen yet?

ugh, spiral stairs PLEASE or even just like.. different stairs with wide bottoms/tops, the ability to split them ect ofc theres more I’d love to see but it wouldnt be in this pack

7. how do you feel about not having a new neighborhood?

I’m actually really glad they decided not to focus on a new world, chances are if they did only that world would have seasons lol I think they did a great thing by focusing on what they already have since they havent done that yet and the packs we’ve gotten werent.. all that great

8. snow, rain, sun or wind?

SNEW ❄️

9. favorite refreshing drink in summer?

iced tea/snapple peach tea though I drink it throughout the year

10. favorite hot drink in winter?

peppermint mocha!

11. walk through the forest or by the beach?

forest def, though to be fair the forests near me are right next to the ocean so..

12. swimming pool or ocean?

pool, the ocean near me is too cold and others I’ve been to are too strong or just gross (and I mean like.. muddy bathwater gross)

13. where would you like to travel if you could leave right now for a week?

honestly I’m kinda on a kick of wanting to go to london so maybe there

13. how is the weather today?

surprisingly sunny with some fluffy white clouds, meaning if I so much as walk out the door without antihistamine in me my head will feel like a stuffed up watermelon

14. what new traits would you like to see in the new add-on?

gardening ones! loves/hates warm/cold weather, and just some more general ones tbh

15. do you like to play with supernatural creatures like vampires and aliens? and if so, would you like to have witches/fairies/elves?

typically the only supernaturals I ever liked to play with were aliens but ts4 isnt all that great with them, but I do love having a variety so I would definitely like to have at least witches, zombies and werewolves again

16. what is your favorite thing to do during winter?

go walking in the snow with my pups, taking pictures, sitting and watching snow fall through a window (I can do this for HOURS), cooking/baking, listening to christmas music and watching christmas movies!

17. …during spring?

staying indoors, though I do like going to a drive to see all the flowers blooming

18. …during summer?

never going outside LOL sometimes I like going into our backyard with the firepit on and roasting marshmallows but only if its still somewhat cool - if I get hit with the sun or heat I break out into a rash on my hands and that’s no fun 😒 (as you can imagine, driving through arizona was hell, I had to cover myself with a blanket in the car rip me)

19. …during autumn?

sorta the same things as winter tbh! taking pictures, cooking/baking, going on walks and drives to see the leaves changing

20. have you already pre-ordered seasons? and if you haven’t, are you going to pre-order it or wait until it comes out?

nuope, tbh this is the only pack I would love to buy if I could!! but for now I’m still using a crack (sorry but I’m not paying $500 that I don’t have right now for the rest of the packs I need when I’ve already spent thousands on the franchise, in the future I will)

21. in which neighborhood are you going to play first with seasons?

gen 2 might still be in san myshuno when it comes out, but I’d love to see windenburg and brindleton bay during the seasons!

22. do you listen to music while playing? and if so, what are your favorite songs to play to?

sometimes, its usually just my mix of ballads I always have on (dbsk, solo super junior, exo ect) or instrumental music I grew up with (ie sanctuary series by sam reid) but most times I just have youtube on in the background watching achievement hunter lets plays or watching most haunted

23. what’s your favorite thing to do in the sims? creating sims, building, etc?

before it was always creating sims and decorating, but now I have to say my favourite thing is actually playing the game (which is a shocker for me outside of ts2) I’ve actually gotten quite into having a retail store and tbh I want to have more

24. what’s your favorite kit/pack/add-on?

so far I’d have to say pets because of the obvious

25. and finally, what add-on/pack would you like to see next?

UNIVERSITY!! I would also like to have a pack for more various jobs like in ts3 ambitions, I never realized until yesterday how much I needed the ability to have a tattoo parlor or hair salon. I’d also like a more sciencey themed pack! With bots and more mad scientist type objects

I tag @simcophogi @thatonebrobo @miniculepxls @grimsimm @pollinationqueen @moodensim 💖

[hp-again]

Rereading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Chapter Nineteen - Elf Tails

when we left off, ron was poisoned and almost died. lol happy birthday bro!!!!!!!!!

Hermione gave an almost inaudible sniff. She had been exceptionally quiet all day. Having hurtled, white-faced, up to Harry outside the hospital wing and demanded to know what had happened, she had taken almost no part in Harry and Ginny’s obsessive discussion about how Ron had been poisoned, but merely stood beside them, clench-jawed and frightened-looking, until at last they had been allowed in to see him.

if that aint love yall. seriously tho any romione haters can FIGHT ME

“Er-my-nee,” croaked Ron unexpectedly from between them.

i vividly remember reading this for the first time and SCREAMING FOR JOY. still kinda of squealing now tbh

- omg HAGRID feels like i havent seen you in ages bb :’( missed u

“Half our family does seem to owe you their lives, now I stop and think about it,” Mr. Weasley said in a constricted voice.

OMG STAHP im feeling way too many emotions im literally like 2 pages into the chapter jfc

“’S’no wonder Dumbledore’s angry with Sn-” Hagrid stopped in his tracks, a familiar, guilty expression was visible of his face above his tangled black beard.

familiar. GOD I LOVE HAGRID

- FUCKING MCLAGGEN hes like ‘since ron almost DIED let me play in the next quidditch game’ and its like BRO HE ALMOST DIED can you at least wait until, idk THE NEXT DAY to ask??????? smh disrespectful 

Harry, however, had never been less interested in Quidditch; he was rapidly becoming obsessed with Draco Malfoy.

is this gay or what

“Is Hermione Granger still visiting him?” Lavender demanded suddenly. “Yeah, i think so. Well, they’re friends, aren’t they?” said Harry uncomfortably. “Friends, don’t make me laugh,” said Lavender scornfully. “She didn’t talk to him for weeks after he started going out with me! But I suppose she wants to make up with him now that he’s all interesting...”

BITCH BETTER STEP AWF dont be hating on romione, i said IM READY TO FIGHT

“Where’re you going?” Harry demanded. “Yeah, I’m really going to tell you, because it’s your business, Potter,” sneered Malfoy. “You’d better hurry up, they’ll be waiting for ‘the Chosen Captain’ - ‘the Boy Who Scored’ - whatever they call you these days.”

1. lol did harry seriously think asking malfoy would work  2. dracos actually getting pretty good at insulting people like these were legit funny i lol’d

- also the blushing, sulky girls draco is with rn are actually crabbe and goyle right? if so that shits hilarious 

- FUCK YES to luna commentating the game

- no big deal harry just CRACKED HIS SKULL and is in the hospital wing now. fucking wizard world is wild yall

- KREACHER AND DOBBY AND PEEVES ARE HERE am i in heaven? 

Dobby sank his knobbly little fist into Kreacher’s mouth and knocked out half of his teeth.

holy fuck. who knew dobby was such a savage?

“Just stick to Malfoy like a couple of wart plasters.”

was this analogy really necessary harry? you couldnt think of ANYTHING else? nasty boi.

WELP if you liked this, follow me for more chapters!

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE TWO

“I'm starting to feel more comfortable with my position in the game.” - dem

HOH: Josh C UPSIDE DOWN: Nick & Joshua NOMINEES: Emma & Nash POV: N/A FINAL NOMINEES: N/A EVICTED: Dem (Expelled)

EMMA

I been struggling in this game which is sad i want to have fun but yesterday made me feel like maybe having a meltdown and leaving 90 percent of servers was a good idea for me i really hope not i just really want to have fun and win for some reasons i always have trouble prejury in games trying to find my footing but at jury and late prejury i always know how to rise ASDFGH the people i really like rn are Jakey loml jev loml aria queen saira queen and also joshua is easy to talk too!!! nathan is also great

DEM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSgjyUhGTng

NASH

i simply think men should stop winning hoh and trying to nom me. its week 2 go target someone else j*sh. jev and i are cool now though <3 love him

DEM

I'm starting to feel more comfortable with my position in the game. I think I'm not in anyone's bad graces so far, which is good. But I really need to win one of these next HoH's so secure my social relationships. My plan moving forward is to see win HoH's. I want to win the next to HoH's I'm eligible in back to back. I also want to try to secure my relationships with Gina, Jev, and Jake. Those are three people I want to be close with in this game. Also maybe Joshua? He's pretty cool and chill.

SAIRA

I'm still getting a sense of how the game works but I feel pretty good, there are some people that are much easier to talk to than others but everyone is still so nice! i feel good about josh c as hoh! we get along pretty well and I don't THINK im in any danger but you never know! imma be honest, I don't have an actual plan, i'm mostly playing this by ear, just talking to people, bullying beck when the chance arises, and being myself! 

JOSH C

HELLO GIRLIES!

well, we won HOH and that's really EXCITING. i probably didn't need to win this week but i figured that i'd get a win under my belt while nominating people would still be EASY. i can establish trust with some people and get a "i didn't nom you, please don't nom me" situation going on. i also feel like the two people i'm going to nominate would have NOMMED me anyways because we just haven't talked..

who those people are? nash & emma. (vl don't hate me for only nominating women i didn't want it to come to this either)

but i just.. both of them have really only put in any effort to talk to me now that i'm HOH and i don't really LOVE that tbh. i've already told a few people that's who i'm thinking so i kind of accidentally locked myself in on these noms because there isn't any sense in throwing out more names than i have to!!

i have an alliance with kiki, brianna, jacob, jake, and aria. (i think that's the people in it? i wanna say that's right. LKFMSDG love this game for me) and i feel pretty good in that because i like all of them enough and they're people that will watch out for ME and each other. but i know my social connections go beyond that so i'm feeling pretty good with my spot in the game? i have a solid relationship with almost everyone in the game and i think i should be able to play a cute lil utr game for a few weeks. i don't think that i'll get targeted first if my alliance gets outed and if so.. i have ENOUGH faith in my comp strength and relationships to save me against MOST of the cast.

people kind of want me to nominate DEM because apparently he starts drama with people and has been a bit inactive. he's talked with me more than other people so im not super keen on throwing him on the block RIGHT AWAY but i'm thinking he's a good replacement nom because if people think he's MIA then no one other than him will be upset with me. maybe a backdoor? could be spicy..

i don't really know what else to say here so.. i hope this is enough! love u guys <3

BRIANNA

https://youtu.be/mJw3qxsZ-Bg

JEV

Okay so I feel like pretty comfortable this week because me and Josh have gotten pretty close and bonded over our mutual love of Lucas HOWEVER he's just let me know he's gonna be nominating Nash and Emma which isn't GREAT since I'm in alliances with both of them and they're the only 2 alliances I have so I really wouldn't want to see either of them go home this week, this SUCKS ASS

JAKE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tt2xRQqqax8

ARIA

how is it ONLY week 2 i feel so hecking exhausted fhsabfd, but that might also be the fact that is 2 am so,,,oop. Um okay recap time!!!! Recaps are so hard because theres minor details that i still want to note without seeming super annoying so heres a minor list of things im noticing 

-Dem wants to "start playing the game" I told this to Jake (wish i could bold names ugh)

-Gina & dem told me they were gunning hard for hoh- i told nathan/monty/nick/,,,,and someone else this

-emma feels unconnected from cast

-Jake doesnt like Gina

-Josh likes Me Jev Kiki (told joshua)

-emma knows alliances are starting to form

-joey can get pwr hungry and chaotic + good comp ability

-told gnia my thoughts on the sides being "connected v unconnected" and other tidbits of info

-GIna (potentially joshua) doesnt like nash

-Nathan/Nash ARE CLOSE!!!!! WEE FUCKING WOO!!!!

-Told Jake that Jacob has the power (and the bs excuse he told gina pretending he doesnt have it,,,sure jan)

-jake is GREAT at lowering his threat lvl im sick

-Jev-Josh-Nathan-Nash all bonded p well on vc potentially an alliance

-jake tried to get gina nominated

-Emma Nash noms

-Jake doesnt want emma to leave

So,,,thats what you missed on GLEE! Honestly glee sucks but yeah thats all my info i would weave everything together with cute transitions but im TIRED and lots of this information doesnt really connect well so,,,have a bullet list! 

okok nvm heres some general thoughts bc JUST a bullet point list is so boringgg im honestly not too sure what i want to do this week bc i think emma doesnt have a lot of people (although she has jake apparently,,,she might just be putting up a front of being unconnected ffs) so i would rather keep her around based on our relationship alone esp compared to nash whose been busy w/ irl things to reply i think (nash would prob do gr8 in old school bb,,,but new school is a whole other beast) HOWEVER!!! I need to protect gina who isn't the best conversationalist (sorry bb ily but its true <3) and keeping nash around ensures people have another "inact" target besides her but also nash is such a god connection for people like nathan and jacob and i would rather get her out sooner than later before we have another renee on our hands ...

Also i havent talked to the pasio peeps (omg if we ever make an alliance,,,that should be the name hehe) in a while and idk if theyre distancing themselves or if theyre just busy fndsjafd god im too paranoid for this game its awful. Also i think i mentioned the alliance with josh kiki bri jake jacob last time and it still isnt made and im PRAYINGGG it never gets made bc i have SUCH an awful feeling like SIX FUCKING PEOPLE??? S I X?? THAT IS GOING TO FAIL AND BLOW UP!!!! but i cant say no to an alliance so here i fucking am :/ also im trying to think of my longevity in this game and like,,, idk im nervous. I mean ive mentioned going to the end with multiple people but i have such a bad feeling im gonna go out 9/10 as a big move and i REFUSE to let that shit happen, not on my fucking watch no sir!! Not sure what to do about it yet but i feel like monty in particular doesnt trust me and i need his ass OUT! or maybe not if he comes around but like??? sir pls talk to me- i mean this phase of the game is early im setting up the pawns for later, but before later theres gonna be a couple explosions of my game which i'll have to deal with,,, or maybe not actually i mean in my first org i did a really well mastermind game with it- nvm it did explode on me once FDBSHFDS yeah so theres gonna be an explosion period but i think im getting good at dealing w/ the backlash from it and reintegrating myself..

oh also yeah im safe this week lol

anyway sorry for rambling so much LMAO have a trust ranking!

1.Gina (MY QUEEN!!!!!!!! i LOVE her!)

-BIG BIG FUCKING GAP-

2.Jake (listen,,,my thoughts go back and forth but he did tell me the noms so,,,have some rights)

3.Saira (we never talk game but i dont think she talks with anyone about game beyond maybe nick and also shes nice and im a sucker for nice girls)

4.Emma (if this isnt all just a front shes gonna make a great number for me,, might need to fact check some of her statements tho)

5.Joshua (honestly? i love him hes so funny and i think he has my back although he could be more act)

6.Nathan (literally havent talked in 3 days but also i have a soft spot for him <3)

-GAP-

sorry the Js are just kinda scary lmao JFNSDKF

7.Nick (!! we gotta an actual connection folks!! heck yeah!)

8.Josh c (im safe! but he D E F trusts others more than me such as Joshua and Jacob)

9.Jev (honestly a king but hes a little quiet although his reccs are the BOMB)

10.Jacob (i know youre being sneaky,,,idk what youre being sneaky with but im getting the vibes)

11.Dem (might be weird but i think he trusts me? at least a little bc he ranted about losing to me so O.0)

12.Brianna (youre adorable and deserve the world but everyone likes you,,,is this how people view me omg fhsabfhds)

13.Kiki (youre SO hecking sweet and actually u probs have a connections to nash but we havent talked ANY game yet)

14.Nash (p,,p-please talk to me uwu)

15.Joey (i dont trust you at ALL! Why? good question-)

was that mean? sorry in advance ilyall but also its 3 am brain empty no filter

NASH

i think jev and nathan might end up being good allies of mine (inb4 betrayal)! despite the mistake he made nomming me, talking to jev has been lovely so far he's getting me into loona LMFAO. and i just love nathan's energy & i feel like as the season goes on i can see him winning comps. i'm excited :3 hope josh c does not end my existence this week

JOEY

I feel FANTASTIC about Josh being HoH. I’m making sure that others are coming to me about gameplans, and I’m making sure I don’t come off as too pushy or aggressive in PMs. With most of the players, I’m trying to give them all the same energy and hype. It seems kinda weird to say this, but I’m not concerned about being nominated at this point. What I need to ensure is building my social relationships with people outside the “Crackhouse”, and yes that big ol friend group moved to Discord in 20 minutes like 6 months ago. 

This is the first major game I’ve ever played with Skinny Nick(yes, I’m absolutely confused as to what to call them, I’m so used to calling Nick “Eve” that its going to take time to adjust.) Speaking of Nick, my social relationship with him is actually surprisingly similar. In the past, I felt as though it would be as “on-sight” as Tom & Jerry, and it actually isn’t turning out that way, which is surprisingly refreshing. Every day, I’m making sure I send Nick something different to diversify my social game with them. Yesterday, I asked Nick about his preferred streaming services for music and TV, and I discovered we have the same music service(Apple Music).

I’ve played one game with Monty before, but it was a disaster. We were in pairs, and it felt like we were on different planets. I did tell him to not worry about personal feelings when it comes to this game, because I compared the relationship of BB Netflix and the Crackhouse to the separation of church and state. I made that comparison because the two entities of church and state should never cross, but when they do it becomes disastrous, and I feel as though that same principle applies to this game.

Overall, I feel good, Emma may be going up on the block, but it shouldn’t affect me that much. We’re in the early stage, I want to make sure I’m good with everyone.

ARIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFeox7LM1-E

JAKE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLkZ-BIIjTU

HOUSE MEETING

https://youtu.be/BZMorvWvyKY

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT WEEK 1 & 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc-iMpkfrdw&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=3&t=0s