#i hope it does because i want to see ace get turned into a donkey

[bonpocalypse]

I sure do love media that involves characters arriving at a seemingly normal and fun circus only to meet face-to-face with horrors beyond human comprehension and become trapped there !

[pompadourpink]

Bonjour maman! I'm almost 23, ace, and for about the last 2 months now I've had my first real crush (on a new friend I made about 6 months ago). I'm trying to set up a get-together with just the 2 of us because I've finally worked up the nerve that I want to tell him how I feel, but this is complicated by the facts that he's very recently started hanging out again with the ex who dumped him in February, that he probably thinks I'm a lesbian, and that we're both super awkward and bad at communicating or texting back. I've never dealt with this before and it feels super freaky and stressful. Do you have any words of hope or advice? Merci <3

Hello dear,

Given all those little problems that you already have, I would personally try to fix what could go wrong before making my move. If a man I thought was gay sat me down to announce he had a crush on me, I cannot imagine having a reaction he would be happy about. Not that I would necessarily reject him, but outside of being very surprised, I would have to take time to think, because his presumed sexuality made him off-limits so I would have never thought about him this way. And then I would have to figure out if I like him or not, I would be afraid of him getting pushy, and overall it would probably make me feel too awkward to want to try.

So here's your homework: why does he think you're a lesbian and how can you casually correct him? What makes you a bad communicator and what can you do to improve? What do you call awkward and how can you work on it? Think of what you would want your ideal partner to do and do it.

That being said (and this is where big sister turns into mum), I also want to encourage you to sit down with your thoughts and think about this. You are trying to go after someone who:

is already enamoured with another person,

got your sexuality wrong (after six! months! of friendship! how does he know nothing about you?) which in this context is important because sex is important to a lot of people and like I said in the other post, being ace should be mentioned quite soon: if someone isn't interested in that type of relationship, not only they will remove themselves from the situation, but they will be mad that you mislead them and you will be crushed because you thought something was happening,

and finally seems to be so uncomfortable socially that you have to do the work alone - if you had any evidence that he likes you too, I'm guessing you would have said so. The relationship hasn't started and I'm already seeing a pattern where, if this was to happen, you would have to carry the whole thing on your back, be the one requesting dates and arranging plans and making everything happen.

So I'm inviting you to wonder why you still want to pursue him, why you think this is a good idea. You can look at the malks tag and look for romantic requests: a lot of girls get crushes on random guys who don't seem to want them and are still ready to take the stars out of the sky for them. Why? Why don't you think you deserve someone who is willing and eager to work for you too? Why are you trying to sentence yourself to a mediocre relationship with someone who already doesn't want to be there? Do you realise that you deserve to be happy too and that your existence isn't dedicated to making yourself smaller and shaping yourself to fit men's expectations?

I understand this is a bit rough and being lonely sucks donkey but I dated a man like this ten years ago and it's the one relationship I regret because of what it says about my confidence at the time. Looking bad, I cannot name a single good thing about him. He wasn't filled with red flags at first, he was just in the grey zone, but I was so desperate for love that I actively pursued him. He felt it, mistreated me, called me names, pushed me away physically when I tried to be affectionate, and revealed when I finally dumped him (after just a few weeks) that he didn't want to be with me but didn't want to be mean and reject me. If I hadn't decided to give up on him, for all I know I would be like that bride who went viral a few months ago for claiming that her husband's horrible vows were just a joke. That is the danger of being lonely: if you put people on a pedestal for just existing, you will be lower than them.

Look for someone who gets excited when they think of you, who gets amused when you start rambling about your interests, who *wants* to text you and plan a date this weekend, who randomly gets you a candle because you like them, who makes you feel appreciated. Not someone who seems to be there because they saw light under the door and figured it would be nice to be cared for while they look for who they really want. Effort is what makes the world go round.

Please, please, please, put yourself first.

Much love,

Mum

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Movie Review: Sonic the Hedgehog (Spoilers)

Spoiler Warning: I am posting this review the day the movie is first released in the U.K, so if you haven’t yet seen the movie do not read on until you have.

General Reaction:

It's difficult with today's movie going audience to predict how movies like Sonic are going to perform and be received. Especially when the ad campaign did absolutely no favours for this movie other than convince Paramount that Sonic needed a more truthful redesign than what they originally put out.

Here's the thing. Sonic the Hedgehog to me is trying to be 2020's Detective Pikachu capitalising on that nostalgia of a beloved classic franchise.

However, I do feel that the haters and internet trolls out there are not going to be able to get past the comparisons this movie draws to 2011's Hop, which was a live-action/CGI-hybrid movie starring James Marsden who becomes the companion of a somewhat overbearing CG creature.

But, I encourage all movie goers, including the haters, to go into this with an open mind...particularly if you have any history with Sonic because you will get some enjoyment and walk away afterwards feeling happy overall.

My personal history with Sonic is slightly less-so than I would like. I played the original 2 SEGA games countless times and did watch some episodes of the earlier animated shows.

Having said that, my main Sonic fandom actually comes from the mid-noughties series Sonic X, which I feel this movie could have adapted but alas. Also I played the Shadow the Hedgehog spinoff game and more recently Smash Bros where I actually won as Sonic recently.

Now this movie reminds me of those shows and games practically in no way. I mean there is that opening sequence where you see Sonic running around and looping like he does in the SEGA games, I do also feel like James Marsden's character could easily be an older version of Chris, the boy from Sonic X, but aside from that, the gold rings and Robotnik...there's not a lot for the Sonic fans to spot.

I can't say this is a perfect movie, because it really is not. There are a lot of super speed gags and some of them do stick but some just fall flat and at times feel repetitive.

The worst crime this movie commits in my opinion is stealing Quicksilver's gimmick of speed scenes. By which I mean there are not one but two occasions when time is slowed down to almost a halt and we see Sonic running around still. They even have songs specific for these scenes.

Also, because I'm not fully aware of every Sonic incarnation, I did not understand why Sonic is effectively The Flash with being able to generate lightning. I mean I understand the laws of physics of generating enough friction can create static but I have never known Sonic to have any electric attacks.

I did like how the static electricity was preserved in his quills when they fell off though. In animation and the games you don’t think about Sonic’s realistic hedgehog qualities such as having quills so it was a nice touch.

I am also aware that Sonic has turned Super Saigen before with the help of the Chaos Emeralds I believe, so the fact we see a similar transformation here is quite good to see for that reason.

In terms of story I do think this is a simple plot that has been done numerous times, Hop is definitely one example that comes to mind, but I feel it’s also a very accessible story for non-Sonic fans.

I don’t know if Longclaw the Owl is an original character or one from Sonic mythology but I did not really vest much interest in her. Baby Sonic I thought was cute, but I refuse to accept anyone saying he is cuter than Baby Yoda as no one is cuter than Baby Yoda.

On the subject of age, it was good to see them acknowledging Sonic’s age for a change as opposed to just presuming because up until now I did always think he was some sort of teenager but this confirms it. If Baby Sonic is around 5-9 years old then Sonic in present day is late teens which makes sense with his temperament.

The gold rings being used as teleportation devices, I don’t know if they’re meant to be in the games but loved their use here.

I enjoyed the use of technology in this movie and particularly Robotnik’s commentary on how technology is more reliable than people which ties into his ultimate fate of being stranded alone without another soul on the planet he is sent to which forces him further into insanity.

The fact Sonic’s story is about fitting into society while James Marsden’s character is about figuring out what’s right in front of him are great parallels and do balance each other out rather well.

Also where he ends up with effectively being part of a family as well as a town hero was a nice way to wrap things up.

However, that mid-credits scene showing the arrival of Sonic’s faithful protege Tails to the real world looking for his friend screams for a sequel, especially if this means that more of Sonic’s companions could be introduced in the future like Knuckles, Shadow or even Rouge the Bat.

Characters:

Dr. Robotnik:

I don’t want to say he is the best character because I feel all four of the main cast members do a great job, but my favourite definitely is Jim Carrey as Robotnik. This is Carrey back on form and there were so many great shades of back when he was at the top of his game in the 90s with work such as Ace Ventura, The Mask and The Grinch.

From his first scene he stole every scene he was in. You could tell that he was taking the role seriously while also having the time of his life with it and this is why, back in the day, he was on such high form.

He may not have been the overweight bald megalomaniac, at least with the latter two not until the end of the movie, but he was the evil genius and mad scientist and almost every line he delivered he nailed.

I think “rockonnaissance” is going to be the new “joygasm” for him but it worked for The Riddler and it works for Robotnik.

I’m also happy he was nicknamed Eggman in the movie by Sonic because of the shape of his drones, I thought it was fitting. I can’t wait for Sonic to see the new bald version.

Sonic:

Yes Sonic is second but I said it before, there were times when he was overbearing.

Ben Schwartz by the way does a fantastic job voicing the character, I know he voices Dewey in the new Ducktales series and also for some reason voices BB-8 in the Star Wars sequel trilogy, but this is my favourite role of his voice is so realistic for a wide-eyed and somewhat innocent “alien” hedgehog.

I enjoyed how when he first came to Earth he was this urban legend around Green Hills who spent those 10 years people watching and either making up nicknames for the citizens while also longing to fit in with them but knowing not to.

Also the movie’s comedy was never as vulgar as Ryan Reynolds or immature as Russell Brand. I think they had one fart joke in the movie but the rest was generic comedy movie material which was hit and miss in comedy.

It was quite touching also that he was so protective of Green Hills and the status quo so much so that when Tom said he was planning on leaving to move to San Francisco, he was so offended and I thought it was going to be that trope of “Oh now they’re going to separate only to discover they need each other later” but instead it was a few digs and then they got over it.

I am so happy they did redesign the character because the movie’s original look for him was horrendous and did make Cats look reasonable whereas this is more like the Sonic everyone knows and I did not realise he didn’t have his traditional running shoes until Jojo, the niece of Tika Sumpter’s character, replaced them for him.

I will keep saying I want a sequel just because I am interested to see where Sonic’s story takes him next, especially with Tails now on Earth and the potentiality that others could join.

The Wachowskis

Again I thought James Marsden and Tika Sumpter did very pleasant jobs. This is my favourite James Marsden performance to date. Up until now his roles have been either corny or simply bland for me but here, yes there were a couple of dodgy jokes and moments but overall I thought Tom was a very likeable character and at the very least a driven character.

His wife Maddie, first of all props to the movie writers for having a mixed-race couple front and centre in the movie. But also, Maddie, who is also an accomplished career woman alongside her accomplished career husband, did not weigh Tom down or the story down as simply being “just the wife”.

I also enjoyed Maddie’s sister and niece, Jojo is quite cute and for the little screentime that she has does well with it for a child her age. While Natasha Rothwell continues to grow in my estimations after her fabulous turn in Love, Simon as the very sassy teacher.

Others:

As for the rest of the cast, this was a great who’s who for spotting the great jobbing actors as Lee Majdoub, Neal McDonough, Michael Hogan and Adam Pally all have minor supporting roles that do not go unnoticed.

Meanwhile Colleen Villard (née O'Shaughnessey), who voices Tails in the video games as well as voicing Wasp in The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes series and Sora in the Digimon franchise, reprises her role as the anthropomorphic fox in an uncredited mid-credits scene. I am hoping she returns for the sequel because it is good to hear her acting again.

Recommendation:

I do see a future for this movie in terms of a franchise. I do not quite see it crossing over with Detective Pikachu as I know there were rumblings of some sort of Super Smash Bros. movie cinematic universe.

However, if the movie does warrant a sequel, and with a current Rotten Tomatoes score of 64%, considering this seems to be a deciding factor for some cinema goers, I don’t see why not. I am hoping the future of this franchise does see the introductions of Knuckles, Shadow, Rouge and even Amy.

Potentially also spinning off from this franchise, there could be Donkey Kong, Mega Man and maybe even Mario to create that Super Smash Bros. universe.

Overall I rate the movie 8/10, it’s a great movie and definitely has some rewatchability to it.

Having said that I can see where some cinema snobs or even haters may come from as they inevitably target the movie but I encourage everyone not to be taken in by other people’s opinions, not even mine, make up your own minds and see it for yourself.

So that’s my review of Sonic the Hedgehog, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Movie Reviews as well as other posts.

[aleatoryw]

okay, so, the bella sara tarot deck. below the cut because it’s a LONG post.

My process: I decided to limit this to cards I physically own, even though all the newer cards do seem to be archived pretty well on the wiki, because I think shuffling and touching the cards is an important tarot aspect, and I wanted the deck to be functional. Not counting item cards and shiny variations, there are a total of 90 unique cards in the first and second series, the only ones I ever purchased, and luckily I have all 90!

Since there are 78 cards in a tarot deck, I had to pick out 12 to discard. I settled on several non horses (artemis the zebra, pedro the donkey, dino the dinosaur, kio the lion, treasure the seahorse, wavebreaker the dolphin), three foals (bellisimo, beauty, spottie), cajus for including a merman in the artwork, friends for featuring two horses and only one name, and dynamo because i simply felt the art style wasn’t very realistic and didn’t fit in with the rest of the deck.

From there I divided the remaining cards up by their “symbol” at the top. conveniently, there are four suits! I decided the heart best fit with the cups, the flower with wands, the moon with pentacles, and the horseshoe with the sword. Great. Then I dug through every pile and pulled cards I thought best fit each major arcana card, while keeping 14 of each suit to represent the minor arcana.

For the unfamiliar, bella sara cards feature a horse portrait, but also a little message of positivity. A little horse motto. It’s a strange franchise but 2007 was a weird time for all of us. I mainly used the messages to sort these horses, but aesthetics and name played a small role. I used this site’s description of each major arcana card to help because I don’t know that much about tarot tbh. all images from the bella sara wiki.

The Fool - Luna - “A wonderful and exciting world awaits you.” a few other cards mention having the heart of a child or seeing the world as a child, but this one really expresses the beginning of a journey, the openness to the world that the fool offers, if slightly more uplifting because. well. it’s bella sara.

The Magician - Tao - “The whole world is at your feet.”  i was kind of hoping for a card that was more about being unique. but the magician also represents having what you need to accomplish your goals and should set forth. world’s your oyster. at your feet.

The High Priestess - Santos - “Be mindful of your senses and your intuition.” was slightly wary of assigning a stallion to this role but gender is dead and the high priestess is all about intuition

The Empress - Honey - “Create something beautiful. It will make you feel peaceful.” my first instinct was to make the titular bella the empress. But honey’s message about beauty, and her portrait surrounded by nature, won out.

The Emperor - Cantaro - “Develop your ability to lead. Ask a wise person for advice.” This card specifically mentions leadership and wisdom, a relatively easy pick.

The Hierophant - Angel - “Angel is coming. Make space and let heaven help you.” another pretty easy one, very few cards mention heaven or spirituality.

The Lovers - Yin & Yang - “You always have a choice.” i considered discarding these two early on, but felt the message was too tarot-relevant to discard, and they fit very well here. the only card in our deck with two horses who aren’t a mare and foal, reminding you of choices.

The Chariot - Tai - “Be resolute and energetic in what you do.” wavered on this one for a while but I think resolve and energy are related to determination and drive enough for this to work.

Strength - Thunder - “I give you courage. Now you can release your fears.” this is one where the portrait was pretty relevant - a few cards mention courage but this one is the most forceful and strong about it.

The Hermit - Mushu - “Find a peaceful place where you can gather new energy.” big hermit card energy, back away from it all and recharge

The Wheel of Fortune - Eagle - “See the world from above like an eagle.” fuck this card in particular. took me ages to find something that kind of matches, and even then it’s a stretch. the only real match here is that the wheel of fortune urges perspective, and so does this eagle colored horse.

Justice - Grey - “If you really want it, it will come to you.” this was a tough one too. The vaguely karmic aspect is appealing to pair this one with justice, but it’s still not the best match in the deck. i’m trying my best.

The Hanged Man - Yasmin - “Retreat and gather new energy for taking steps on the road.” the hanged man is about cutting your losses, sacrificing something small to move forward, and letting go of what’s not working. retreat seems like a good fit.

Death - Chung - “Let go of pain and sorrow. The road will open and everything will go right.” assigning a horse trading card to death was not a task i thought i would face. but i kinda vibe with this pick - death is about endings and new beginnings, so it’s important to move past your pain and onto new roads. also, traditionally, death rides a white horse.

Temperence - Peace - “Those who don’t think of winning or losing have peace in mind.” kind of a weird one, hard to find a good match, but I think this patient, peaceful war horse fits.

The Devil - Parlez - “Make a plan and commit completely to it.” crazy enough there really aren’t any uhhhhhh demonic horses in this children’s trading card series from ‘07. went with the interpretation that what traps you is your own unwillingness to move forward. also there is a skull on this horse’s forehead. kinda metal?

The Tower - Macon - “It is wise to accept that there are things you can’t do.” this card is one of very few that isn’t relentlessly positive and instead encourages you to accept failure. Let that tower, or stable i guess, crumble.

The Star - Star - “It is not what you do but who you are that is important.” i simply had to. nice healing message.

The Moon - Sheng - “Understand the past. Hold onto the great things and move forward alone.” the description for this bad boy mentions not allowing worry to cloud your past or future, and this horse is all about parsing your past to move clear-headed towards the future. nice moon colored palette.

The Sun - Bella - “Think positive every day! Feel the bliss of joy and energy that comes with it.” here she is, the figurehead of our series, the queen of happiness, joy, optimism, energy... our sun.

Judgement - Starfighter - “Believe in your vision and make it come true.” this was another tough match, i had to focus on the “you can change yourself and your future” aspect of judgement to make any of them fit, and this was my fave card that mentions vision.

The World - Sunny - “The wind blows. The sun is shining. Surround yourself with positive friends.” it’s not my favorite match, but it does have a certain element of being in the right place in the world, with a sense of completion.

Okay! so that’s the major arcana. For the minor arcana, while i did put the cards within each deck into an order I thought fit the ace through king, I was far less particular than with our major deck. Went with vague associations instead of real connection to each card. I’m also not gonna list out all my reasons, because while I may be an insane person, I’m not quite ready to dedicate that much time to this weird, niche late night project. Pictured below is the ace of each deck.

Suit of Wands/Flowers:

Ace - Shaman - “You are more powerful than you realize. It is safe and good for you to be powerful.”

Two - Feng - “This moment is full of opportunities.”

Three - Nanna - “Think positively. Your happy thoughts will grow.”

Four - Walter - “I love your company. Let’s have a good time together.”

Five - Shakira - “Goodness and generosity create loving energy.”

Six - Yung - “Don’t be afraid. Show who you are.”

Seven - Tiffi - “Paradise is a state of mind.”

Eight - Bosi - “Use all your abilities to make this a beautiful place.”

Nine - Jewel - “I will help you stay in a steady flow of abundance.”

Ten - Flipper - “I will embrace you with extra energy and magic. Then you don’t have to be afraid.”

Page - Pink Lady - “I am the spirit of your inner child. Be joyful and see the world as a magical place.”

Knight - Sarah - “Take a chance and follow your heart.”

Queen - Misla - “With me you will be safe and protected by heaven.”

King - Halloween - “I will keep you safe.”

Suit of Cups/Hearts:

Ace - Pegasus - “Your dreams are coming through. I am here to help you trust.”

Two - Saga - “Join me and we will be happy together.”

Three - Nikita - “You may join us if you like.”

Four - Sasha - “Make your goals magnificent.”

Five - Roxy - “Magical opportunities surround you.”

Six - Sung - “Retreat from conflicts and go where you feel safe.”

Seven - Fiona - “Be the hero in your own story.”

Eight - Lancelot - “Be patient. Wait for the right moment before you take action.”

Nine - Misty - “You have Misty’s touch right now, and everything you start turns to gold.”

Ten - King - “I will help you spread peace and unity throughout the world.”

Page - Skipper - “Believe in your worth. You are valuable.”

Knight - Filippa - “Enjoy what you have got. You don’t need what you have not.”

Queen - Ghost - “Your beauty comes from within.”

King - Lucas - “Run with me and you will feel the strength and power inside you.”

Suit of Swords/Horseshoes:

Ace - Konfu - “Move towards your goals. The road is open.”

Two - Alibi - “Find new ways to be with others.”

Three - Yellow - “Spend time with me and you will get your heart’s desire.”

Four - Freja - “Close your eyes and hear the sound around you.”

Five - Ninja - “Be careful every minute.”

Six - Cascadeur - “The things you have lost will come back by themselves.”

Seven - Jojo - “You create your own reality.”

Eight - Ming - “Be open and take care of what is necessary.”

Nine - Sweety - “You are a perfect child. Believe it.”

Ten - Moonlight - “Trust the moon and the stars. Then your dreams are coming through.”

Page - Colour - “Feel the joy in what you see, hear, and sense.”

Knight - Flame - “I run faster than the wind. Follow me and we will find a magical place.”

Queen - Blackie - “Follow your dreams. Feel the happiness it brings.”

King - Bello - “Life is a gift. Receive it and love it.”

Suit of Pentacles/Moons:

Ace - Sokki - “Seize the day.”

Two - Rose - “Listen to your dreams. What they tell you is important.”

Three - Rain - “Run with me and feel the power.”

Four - Leonard - “Your life is a sundance.”

Five - Charlie - “Make time to listen to your friends.”

Six - Leonardo - “When you hear me neigh you will feel the joy we have.”

Seven - Hummingbird - “Go after the point of life.”

Eight - Hercules - “Don’t be afraid to ask for help.”

Nine - Mermaid - “Laugh from your heart and feel the joy.”

Ten - Mandalay - “This is a magical moment. You can make a wish.”

Page - Jonathan - “It is time for joyful playing. Joy creates miracles.”

Knight - Lucky Light - “Always be clear and brave.”

Queen - Shadow - “Look withing yourself and love what you find there.”

King - Balto - “Happiness is a decision. Decide to be happy.”

And there you have it. the bella sara. tarot. deck. If you’re still here you’re either way too invested in assigning things to other things, procrastinating, or have fond bella sara memories from when the company was still out there, convincing us to spend several hours a day brushing virtual horses. PLEASE message me with your fond bella sara memories, or if you know about tarot and have suggestions/comments.

despite the insane time investment this took, i really enjoyed looking at all the messages and comparing them to tarot meanings. maybe i’ll actually do some kind of reading with it sometime! i don’t know a lot about tarot but i think it’s really cool and the concept of using silly horse trading cards to divine my future delights me.

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Sarazanmai 3 - 6 | Fruits Basket 2 - 7 | OPM 2 2 - 7 | BSD 3 3 - 6 | Demon Slayer 4 - 7 | Shield Hero 17 - 20

I’ll be rolling out the tags around about the time of this post.

Sarazanmai 3

Kisu = kissu (kiss). Update: Or kisu (on the right side of my equation). You do you, subbers.

Goma-ae.

Gomennassara! (Oh, I get it…!)

It never occurred to me that a “micanga” was a bead or small pierced round object of some sort. I thought it was a race track sort of thing, but for soccer. Update: It’s a bracelet/anklet thing.

Wait, so what brought on this change of heart from Kazuki??? Is it like the 1st episode, where it was a daydream that was cleverly presented as real? Update: Yep.

Oh…have you noticed all the victims of Reo and Mabu’s scheme are men of the NEET/freeter age, or approaching that?

Notably, the signature pose of the Sarazanmai seems to be similar to the one Kazuki and Enta did in the soccer team.

I find it interesting that Enta is now the initiator of the Sarazanmai and thus the one to steal the shirikodama. I mean, he used to be the one with the least stakes in the Dish of Hope scenario…and now look at him!

Ooh, Toi is sharpening his ruler! (Or whatever you do in Touken Ranbu with that lil’ beater of his.)

Oh wait, I forgot Ikuhara always has a last-minute twist! Go back, go back!

It seems like Haruka has some kind of illness…hmm. Update: Oh, it’s not an illness per se…spoke too soon.

Haruka’s talking about the Little Prince…hmm. Last time I really bothered to engage with that story in any form was Star Driver.

Fruits Basket 2

I don’t think I ever really chose a side on the Kyo vs Yuki debate, but I guess I always subtly sided with Yuki (even though the end pairing is Tohru and *bleep*). <- sorry, had to censor myself

“It’s important for me to get to school every day!”

Kabedon! Eeeeee! (LOL, I really am a squealy person at heart, aren’t I?)

The writing says “she misheard [what Yuki said] as ‘being sick’”, so it was quite lucky that the word “sickened” worked in context.

Yuki has some mad ninja skills…LOL.

Shigure in a suit looks goooooooooood, man (<- gender neutral use of “man”).

“…the days ahead will be fun.” – Oh, Tohru, you don’t know how wrong you are…(says someone who completed the manga)

Fruits Basket 3

I’m hearing the OP for the first time…and it sounds like an ED. (Probably because I read some impressions that said the same thing earlier today.)

“…included in the zodiac?”

Ooh! Momiji! Wait, er…I didn’t expect him to be so high-pitched…

Lookit the tiny cat icon on the side! It’s cute!!!

*yells* It’s Kagura!!!!!!!! She ain’t my favourite, but man, is it great to see another familiar face!

I’ve been wondering what the title meant when it said “what year is she?” It means “year of the zodiac”.

Fruits Basket 4

“Shii-chan”…?

Kyo-kun ran away before Kagura even started making dinner…

Was Kyo’s katsudon a joke…? (Cats-udon, geddit?...No?)

“…marriage is a girl’s greatest dream.” – That used to be so, Tohru…nowadays, it ain’t.

Lookit how Kyo’s eyes lit up when he talks about his teacher!

OPM 2 2

That title’s…even more counterintuitive than “OPM 2 1”…hmm.

It’s…kind of dark right now.

I think there was bourbon on the counter. Someone likes to drink around here…

I guess with the mass animation exodus, OPM seems kinda…monologue-y. And cheap…

…nope, I take back my words. They were merely saving up for this action scene.

BSD 28 (S3 Ep 3)

Seriously, what are those metal things Dazai was wearing? Anyways, I like how it’s absolutely the norm that Chuuya swears now and I was part of forming that. Because I don’t swear a lot, I think Chuuya makes a nice outlet for my own frustrations...that’s what could be said, anyway.

D’aww. Someone acknowledges Chuuya’s identity. Ain’t that grand? (Now you see why I like Chuuya more than Dazai these days, huh?)

Come to think of it…a person hasn’t died in this show for a while, have they? It just goes to show you that despite one of its major stars being a guy obsessed with shinjuu (double suicide), the creators seem to be emphasising the sanctity of life itself.

Oh, I never thought they had an explanation for Dazai’s coat…

What is the age difference between Chuuya and Dazai anyway??? They’re both 15 during the LN that’s called that, but the exact difference…what is it? Update: Dazai’s birthday is June 19th and Chuuya’s is April 29th, so the difference is 1 month and 21 days (using the idea that 7 days = a week and May is 30 days, that’s 51 days in all).

Ooh, we’re getting Fyodor, Ace and the unnamed kid soon, aren’t we? That also means we’re in unknown territory for myself, too…hmm.  

OPM 2 3

When did Saitama last meet Charanko anyway? Charanko is voiced by Toshiki Masuda, so I would’ve kept an eye out for him, but the art shift and the years between seasons mean I don’t remember anymore.

Oof, “justice crashed Mumen Rider’s head” is more like it.

CGI banana…Just saying “CGI banana” is funny.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 4

Headpats, headpats all around!

Hooo…boy. I already knew Sabito and Makomo were dead because Crow and Irina’s collab post was called “The Names of Dead Children”, but how it was delivered…was such a powerful move.

I saw the blonde boy who’s in the OP…hmm. Update: His name is Zenitsu, according to the next-ep preview.

OPM 2 4

When comparing this dissection of monsters against Mob Psycho…the biggest monster Mob has is himself…hmm.

I didn’t expect Saitama to actually enter under Charanko’s name with that wig he got…

“…name as a martial artist.”

Mojo for the dojo, it seems this man wants.

I think the centipede senpai is CGI. Hmm…

It’s been years…I’ve forgotten what Ponytail Head’s name is! (And I call OPM one of my favourite series in anime…!)

Sarazanmai 4

“Writers exist between life and death.” – …is Ikuhara expressing his own thoughts on how anime writers are treated…?

I anticipate a soba pun (soba = noodles and soba = beside [someone]).

“…gives a s***…” – Says you, Toi, with the “Golden Poop” in the background. Then again, that’s just an English pun. Don’t mind me.

Comic Sans…you can’t escape it, even in this day and age…

Yude = to boil, soba…is the noodles. (The “o” on the end of the Monster of the Week’s first name means “man”.) Ikuhara uses Monster of the Week names in service of symbolism, while Takamatsu uses inconsistency for the sake of humour.

Intetestingly, there’s a spiralling blue thing in the background of the dance number and it says “soba” (katakana) and “desire” (yokubou, in kanji).

The headline translates to “Tragedy! It was next to me, but then…” (Kigeki! Sakki made soba ni ita noni…) The subbers had to accommodate the soba pun though, so they went with “so bar away”.

Hmm…now Toi takes centre stage…

2007, huh? How old are Kazuki and co. again?

This is probably the least surprising secret of all, y’know. Also, I think Keppi and Kazuki have cucumbers in their mouths.

They have subs for Stand By Me now!!! Oh mai globbb!

W-Wuh?! I can see why he’d hate Haruka (feelings of “why don’t my parents look at me the way they look at him anymore?”), but…this really turns this entire story on its head!

Kimetsu no Yaiba 5

Interestingly, the “My” in the episode title is Onore (an “I” indicating professionalism).Come to think of it…what is Tanjiro’s pronoun of choice?

Aww…the fact Tanjiro kinda looks like the demon’s (previous body’s…?) bro made the scene kinda cute. Possibly, it could be even enough to drive someone to tears…not that I was driven to tears, of course.

Well, here’s Zenitsu.

This angry kid reminds me of Mike Teevee (from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). He seems like a rival, but he’ll disappear soon enough. Also, LOL, a sparrow instead of a crow.

“…my whole body hurts.” – Welp, that’s what happens when you lose sleep fighting demons for 7 days straight…

Why the obvious names? (re: Haganezuka – that is, hagane means “steel”…also, Nichirin contains the character for “sun” (at least, I think so…?) and Yoko can be understood to be/homophonous to the word for “sunlight”)

Tanjiro, son of Tanjuro…LOL. That was probably deliberate – it means the first son follows in the father’s footsteps.

For some reason, I wanted Haganezuka to pop out of the comic for the next-ep preview…aww.

Shield Hero 17

How many times did Fitoria say “I’m going to kill the heroes” and Naofumi say variants of “no”? Because of that, I had half a mind to jump ship and head to RobiHachi instead…but keep going.

That cowlick stuff was probably the most fun I’ve had with this show in a while…heh.

Oh great…Naofumi expanded his pseudo-harem to two bird waifus…then again, I had a stupid grin on my face seeing Fitoria’s old master, so maybe it’s not all bad, y’know?

Post-credits scene…keep watching!

Wah-wait…what the heck was that explosion???!!!

BSD 29 (S3 Ep 4)

That’s…Topaz (unofficial name)…ohhhhhhhh dear…

Oooh, Katai! Katai! Yay!!! (As you can tell, I had a very small thing for Katai. He reminds me of En-chan, y’see.)

The CGI in this OP…you can tell there’s quite a bit of it, huh?

It’s Deadmau5 (as the fandom used to joke)!

Fyodor’s eyes of disgust as Topaz dries his hair…hmm.

Older Topaz looks surprisingly like Oda…I don’t remember that exact shot, but it might’ve been in the manga. His background also reminds me of Chuuya’s.

OPM 2 Ep 4 (OPM 18)

“Irksome insect”…says the giant insect.

I think I saw a 7-11 pastiche in the background.

Why does the bird have a human hand in his belly? What??? (LOL)

This tournament arc don’t feel so hype, now that MHA’s is over…

Someone likes Donkey Kong… (referring to Marshal Gorilla and the other Kong guy (Heavy Kong))

Sarazanmai 5

…oh wow. Y’mean Kazuki is adopted???

“Why don’t you say anything, even though you know about me now?” (from Toi) – Probably because Kazuki is as f***ed up as you are, if not worse.

What are those sparkles coming off Sara’s face…? Not sure if they’re a shoujo thing or just…gratuitous sparkles.

LOL, Nioino Fukuro. Basically “pouch of scent” when you insert a space between the second I and the second N and change the first name kanji, plus change the “no” to hiragana.

I know the title of the song is Kawausoiya (translates to “awful otters” or something like that), but “soiya” doesn’t make much sense on its lonesome.

Wait…does that mean Sara is the creature? Or there are two Saras that can look the same, but one looks like the human and one is more kappa-like???

For some reason, I’m getting changeling vibes here…that Kazuki wants to look different to the rest of his family because he knows he’s different.

Hey…there’s this thing called the tourist gaze. It argues that because people create notions of reality differently, people have different ideas of what makes a trip “good” and “authentic”. In the same sense, Haruka’s “false” connection with Kazuki!Sara has become his reality, so it’s not wrong to say this Sara is real for him.

Oh…I just realised some kanji that appar early in the OP are the kanji for “extraction”.

So, uh…in a sense…can I interpret Kazuki’s love for his real mother a Fruedian thing? It seems all men’s love can be interpreted to be Freudian in some way or another…also, Sara kind of looks like his mother in a very “surface” kind of way. That is, they have a very passing resemblance to each other. Update: I’ve been reading some Stephen King lately and if I took anything away from that experience, it would be that everything is Freudian when it comes to men’s experiences. That’s why I say that.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 6

…*remembers something from the collab that was along the lines of “Astral doesn’t like Tanjiro’s green jacket”* Astral’s not gonna like this, then. (For those who don’t know the context, “Astral” is AstralGemini of the Zodiac Room.)

*Tanjiro is told he might not go very far with his demon slaying* *Tanjiro reacts with happiness that he’s on his way to get Nezuko human again* - Uh…I know I’ve watched my share of shonen, but I kind of didn’t expect that and yet also did.

Ugh…it’s the return of CGI Tanjiro…the vegie patch looks good in CGI though, for some reason.

Lemme guess…with a title like that (Swordsman Accompanying a Demon), could it be that Kazumi is a demon???

“I don’t get it at all.” – LOL…that was unintentionally funny (for the second time in this show, the first being Hand Demon).

BSD 30 (S3 Ep 5)

Moby Dick crashing into Yokohama? It was literally years ago for us!

I’m pretty sure these Park guys didn’t exist in the manga. Update: Nope, they did. I’ve read the corresponding chapter, it’s just that that was also 2 years ago…just like the last we saw of the anime.

I love how the “gyaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” ended in blood splatter, literally.

The Park guys apparently come from ch. 44 but Katai comes from ch. forty…what? One? Two? It’s not 40 (Hitori Ayumu), that’s all I know.

Katai is a good boy. You’ll see why in…oh, a few seconds.

Oh, I love the ending of this story. I already know the ending, but seeing it again will be a whole new bag of laughs!

Uh…I forgot how much of an interruption the anime’s humour is. My dream of a “whole new bag of laughs” is at least half dashed…*shoulders slump*

Apparently Atsushi cut his hair himself…not sure if that’ll be a spoiler for later, but it’s still something cool to know.

“So it’s your letter?”

Katai is basically me when it comes to my husbandos. See why I love him???

Come to think of it…I haven’t properly listened to the ED yet! Better do that while I still have the chance.

Fruits Basket 5

Shigure is such a troll…just like I remember him.

Fruits Basket 6

Hatori! Ooh! He’s hottttttt! Sizzling!...Okay, I think you get my point already…

I think someone else (Amelia from A Girl and Her Anime…?) pointed this out…but I don’t understand a speck of German outside 1 – 10 (I remembered the German word for “six” way too well when I was younger). So it would help if they bothered to make the German English as well.

For some reason, the stick figure was both obviously a cost-cutting measure and also elevated the hilarity of that scene…!

I don’t quite know what the Japanese equivalent of the “macaroni and cheese” thing was, but it conveys the same idea in the two languages and makes people laugh along the way, so…*shrugs shoulders* Makes sense, I guess.

Tohru is kandou about meeting an author. Kandou means to be deeply moved (noun form).

LOL, Hanajima reading the book.

…Oh my goodness. I just realised Fruits Basket has a lot of characters with fringes. 90s fringes for everyone!

“…a cartoon about a cat and a rat that are always fighting…” - Come to think of it, Tom and Jerry is popular in Japan.

Shield Hero 18

I think this episode title ends in inbou, which means “intrigue”.

This show is clearly trying to play the same cards over and over again…

Shield Hero 19

Hypocrites! Hypocrites everywhere! *does Buzz Lightyear hand gesture from the meme*

OPM 19 (S2 Ep 6)

The reason the fat guy is called Dave is not just because of B/V confusion, but because debu (without the line in the middle) is a slang word for…wait for it…”fatty”.

Interestingly, Murata previously worked on a oneshot called Gokiburi Buster. I wonder if this Cockroach Boi is from there…?

Did you notice the guys behind the umpire, who had a stretcher at the ready…?

“Mr Saynuthin” seems to be “Nanmoien-san” in Japanese.

“Waganma” seems to be a play on wagamama, or selfish. However, I can’t pin down the pun in the father’s name...

Well, well, well…at least someone acknowledges Speed of Sound Sanic (the ninja, not the CGI abomination or the monkey) is hecka-speedy.

Charanko (the real one)…he has ashi no ura (the back of the foot) written on his bandages…LOL.

Sarazanmai 6

Apparently Kazuki’s (foster) family all wear the same kind of stripes…which is what Kazuki means when he doesn’t want to wear the same kind of clothes as his family.

Okay…so the first set of kanji that appear in the OP are the one for “desire” and the ones after that are “extraction”…geddit? (LOL)

Oh my glob…how in the name of Iyami does Osomatsu-san get so popular that after I watched the first season of that show, it starts appearing in other places as well????

I saw a translation of the Reo and Mabu tweets and apparently at least one of them can make ningyoyaki (a type of cake you can make in all sorts of shapes – scroll down a bit on that page and you’ll find the description of ningyoyaki there).

Uhh…ghh…Keppi pole dancing was disturbing…*soul floats out of body temporarily*

Reo (I think that’s Reo, at least) has ningyoyaki…Update: Yup, that’s Reo.

“Headdress”, huh?

Why does this episode 6 feel like ending material…?

Wait…you’re saying Reo and Mabu are princes of the otter kingdom??? Wuh???

BSD 31 (S3 Ep 6)

(Lucy blushes) Wow…now there’s an option for a het ship right there…not that anyone will take it.

I saw a GIF of Atsushi floating naked and face down in the water (because Irina), but…I forgot exactly how the scenario before it went, so I LOLled.

Oh yeah…this chapter had a tie-in with Mizuki Tsujimura, because Mizuki knew Kyoka’s mother. Also, it shows you can inherit Abilities…

It’s Truck-kun and the curse of the isekai!...Okay, I’m kidding.

Oh yeah…this is the chapter about the Headmaster…

I haven’t been in a good place mentally for the past few years or so, due to my world basically fragmenting around me, so the words “don’t hate yourself” are strong ones coming from a place both nostalgic and new.

Dazai inherits a particularly interesting space in Atsushi’s life. He’s like a brother and father wrapped up into one (Kunikida is the nagging mother in that analogy, LOL), but also obsessed with suicide to the point he can also be a liability.

“…didn’t tell anyone…”

It’s also interesting to compare Tohru (of Fruits Basket) and Atsushi. They’re both selfless, but Tohru’s selflessness is shown to be a double-edged sword while Atsushi’s gives him a lot of resentment but is overall a positive thing.

Aww…seeing Atsushi slowly tear up almost made me tear up too…

Fitzgerald Rising…that’s the name of the chapter where…oh, sorry. It’s been years, so I’ll let it all play out for you and me again without mentioning any spoilers until they happen in (close to) real time in the show, okay?

Fruits Basket 7

This is the first time there’s been English lyrics on the OP for this show…I think.

Who’s this “he” Tohru’s referring to when examining the woman’s picture? Akito, probably, but I’m not 100% sure…Update: It was Hatori, actually.

“Shii-san”, “Haa-san” etc. is…cute. *cue “O kawaii koto…” from Kaguya-sama*

I get the feeling that Shigure is almost like a prototype Dazai (Bungou Stray Dogs). Or they just have a lot in common.

“Are these my just desserts?”

Demon Slayer 7

Nezuko’s playing whack a mol-er, demon, isn’t she??? (LOL)

Whoa…it must be mighty freaky to be floating in a swamp of dead people’s possessions…

Welp, Tanjiro…that’s one way to say “hands off my sister”. *nods* By cutting the demon’s hands off…

I like the contrast between Tanjiro’s callused hands and Kazumi’s smooth ones.

Hey…why does food always get wasted in movies and other media…? I know I’m applying real-life consumption habits to media, but it always looks quite wasteful, y’know…?

OPM 20 (S2 Ep 7)

I never noticed that shot of Watchdog Man in the OP before…huh.

Pig God’s shirt says DEV. It’s a pun on debu (fatty)…again.

Ooh! I saw him in the OP! Flashy Flash! I’ve never seen him in action outside the OP before, but I know his name and appearance from reading around.

“You all are the strongest swordsmen we have.”

Seriously, Saitama, just get something to stick the wig on and you wouldn’t have gotten into this mess. Maybe superglue…(okay, I’m kidding about the superglue).

OPM got really childish this time… 

[abalonetea]

Ok, first, let me just say WOW because you have the coolest page and I love the theme. This is.... so cool.Ok, but yes, back to the question. I was asking about horses because, yeah, I ride occasionally, but I don't really know cool horse terms. Trying to write about them and didn't know if there's good lingo for such. Or like, long term traveling no-no's. Obviously food, water, and distance, but if there were other tricks of the trade. Have any pointers?

thank you!! i’m absolutely in love with the lay-out of it, and how the theme ended up looking! i wanted something new and figured, hey, why not fully embrace the video game aspect of my wip? c:

i’m always down for horse chatter, no matter what it’s about! i’ve been working on horse farms since i was nine - which sounds strange to say, i realize, but i used to do farm work in exchange for lessons, and then it just evolved to paid farm work, haha. so, yeah, knowing how amazing your writing always is, the thought of you doing some horse related scenes just makes me incredibly happy and excited?

for long term traveling inspiration, i would check out endurance rides! it used to be primarily dominated by Arabians and half-Arabian breeds, but a larger variety becomes prominent in the circuit every year. we’ve had Morgan’s and quarter horses win the Nationals before and everything.

outside of food, water, and distance, some of the biggest things that i see forgotten about (but might not be relevant to your writing!) would be the soundness of a horse, and whether they’re still being groomed. and all this rambling is just! me guessing at the setting and situation! so it may or may not be helpful but - well, i like rambling about horses, so i hope you don’t mind! i’m mostly going under the assumption that by long distance you mean cross country, or something close to that, spanning several days or at least a week’s worth of riding. c:

depending on the setting, the thought of grooming a horse during a long distance travel might come across as strange. but if the same sweaty blanket, cushion, or saddle pad is left on the horse’s back for an extended amount of time, the sweat and the friction can rub sores - which then make the horse irate, and sometimes can even result, depending on the temperament of the horse, in being bucked off. 

solution for a desperate time - hop off, undo the girth on one side, slide the saddle back onto the haunches or up onto the neck (if a well trained horse, otherwise if the horse is young or antsy, the saddle may need to come off completely) and take a dry rag to the coat. if a hard brush or curry is available and time allows, a quick rub down wouldn’t hurt, but a dry rag will work if time and supplies are limited.

then flip the pad over, so the dry side is against the horse and tack back up. if time is extra limited, just flip over the saddle pad and skip the rag.

the other big thing is that a horse can easily injure itself on a trail. i love them, but half the time i feel like horses are held together by used chewing gum and some old string? so even if your horse doesn’t actually injure itself during the story, it might be something to keep in mind. they can pull leg muscles, bruise their frog, damage their hoof, and even cut their coronary band if the foliage is particularly thick and thorny!

so if you’re looking for extra drama, just nudge the horse into a situation that will leave it lame for a little bit, haha!

and some of favorite horse things that i love to include when writing about horses!

*when you’ve been riding for a really long time and your back is starting to hurt so you lean forward, draping yourself over the horse’s neck and it’s sweaty and dirty but the smell of horse is a comfort so you both just stand their silently for a few moments

*after a really hard ride but you can’t get off just yet so you do stretches in the saddle, like bending backwards so your shoulders are on the rump of the horse, and bending your legs in weird ways because they’re cramped

*a horse that’s too scared to walk through tall grass on its own but trusts you so much that as long as you walk in front of it, he’ll follow behind you

*horses playing with each other! halter tag, anyone?

*the specific sound of horse hooves hitting the ground, especially when it’s hard packed earth, especially if there are a lot of them

*hot horse breath on your hand when you give the horse a treat or hold up a bucket of water for them to drink out of

*that one horse who fills its mouth up with water and then purposefully dumps it on the rider’s shoulder

*the sheer exhilaration that comes from galloping a horse through a wide, open expanse where there’s nothing keeping you confined and the wind is cutting against your face and your heart is pounding and it’s like the both of you are the same being

*if you’re going long distance and are able to plan ahead of time, the pack you bring needs more than just food for the horse. pack smart and light! hay string is invaluable. so is vet-wrap (or an ace bandage swiped from the med bay) and duck tape. those three things can fix nearly any problem that occurs during your travels.

some facts from my personal life experience!

*did you know that you can fix a horse’s injured hoof with a preemie diaper and some duck tape

*did you know that you can fix their knee the same way

*did you know that you can make a sweat wrap for a horse’s swollen leg using clingwrap

*braiding a horse’s tail all the way to the tip is actually really ineffective for a horse that’s outside for any length of time. if you braid it down halfway, they still have the loose hair at the bottom to use as a fly swatter!

*horse bites are incredibly painful and not just when they nip your hand. i still have scars and tissue damage from being bit on the shoulder and thrown across the ten foot stall by a horse that was in pain and lashing out at me. it turned into a massive hematoma and i couldn’t lift my arm up past my breasts for almost three months

*getting kicked by a horse is incredibly painful but certainly not a death sentence and might not even leave you out of the field for a long time. i was double barreled out in the field one day, got the stitches put into my chin, had x-rays taken, and then went to finish my day’s worth of work. 

*that being said it absolutely can be really awful. my first trainer was thrown by a horse and landed the wrong way, so it completely shattered her arm and she ended up needing five surgeries. my second trainer was kicked in the face by a horse and it ended up breaking off parts of her teeth.

*night riding is asking for trouble, because the eyes of a horse have a hard time distinguishing things in heavy shadow. it’s why they tend to freak out over seemingly little things; the cones in their eyes just aren’t meant for distinguishing things in the dark.

*if your horse has never seen a cow or donkey before, it will terrify them. 

*ive never met a horse who didn’t like gatorade and that really has no relevance to anything, and probably is no use to anyone, but it’s still something that i wanted to share! i’ve worked with over 500 separate horses at my various farm jobs, and i’ve never met a single horse that turned down gatorade when i offered it to them

*rice bran tastes like vanilla cookies

*bute powder might smell like fruit loops but it does not taste like fruit loops

*sweet feed is edible for humans but the molasses gives it a very bitter flavor. alternatively, non-sweet feed kind of tastes like you’re eating dry bran cereal

i don’t know if any of this is even slightly useful to you, but it sure was fun to write up! and i am always up for talking about horses or answering any questions that you (or anyone else) might have! i’ve basically worked in every aspect of the horse industry at some point or another, and while i’m not a specialist by any means, i am most certainly a jack of all trades when it comes to farm work, barn work, and horse work

[luxettenebra]

...why do I have a whole list of Latin swearing. Got no idea where it all come from, but oh well, here’s the entire list I have if you’re curious:

“faex” - shit “cane” - bitch (this is actually referring to a dog, however, and not the female derogatory) “deodamnatus” - dammit “cunne” - cunt “filius canis” - son of a bitch (literally ‘son of a dog’) “fututus et mori in igni” - fuck off and die in a fire “futuere” - get fucked “futue te ipsi” - fuck you “irrumabo” - dick “trude id sursum tui cunni, faexcaput” -  shove it up your cunt, shithead. “ede faecam” - eat shit “suge meum penem, cunne” - suck my dick, cunt “morde meum globes” - bite my balls “Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo” - i’ll fuck you up the ass and make you blow me (OR ’ I will sodomize you and face-fuck you’. this is from a poem called Catullus 16, the filthiest latin poems you can find) “Te futueo et caballum tuum” - Screw you and the horse you rode in on “Irrumator” - Bastard “Leno” - Pimp “Flocci non faccio” - I don’t give a damn “Mihi irruma et te pedicabo” - Give me head and I’ll ass fuck you “Mentula” - Penis “Meretrix” - Prostitute “Bovis stercus” - Bull shit “Es stultior asino” - You are dumber than an ass “Es scortum obscenus vilis” - You are a vile, perverted whore “Es mundus excrementi” - You are a pile of shit “Bibe semen meum” - Swallow my cum “Bibe semen meum e baculo” - Swallow my cum from a cup “Globos meos lambe!” - Lick my balls “Es stercus!”  You shit! “Moecha Putida” - Dirty slut “Podex perfectus es” - You’re a complete asshole “Futue te ipsum!” - Go fuck yourself! “Stercorem pro cerebro habes” - You have shit for brains “Caput tuum in ano est” - You have your head up your ass “Perite” - Fuck off! “Impudens es leno” - You shameless pimp “Vacca stulta” - You stupid cow “Vescere bracis meis” - Eat my shorts “Tu scronium es” - You are a whore “Caput stercoris” - shithead (lit. head of shit) “Mentulam Caco” - I shit on your prick “Obesus porcus” - Fat pig “Cupio te meam mentulam sugare” - I want you to suck my dick “Matris futuor” - Mother fucker “Te odeo, interfice te cochleare” - I hate you. Kill yourself with a spoon. “Matris Prolapsus” - Bitch (??) “Stercus accidit” - Shit happens “Potes meos suaviari clunes” - You can kiss my ass. “Quando podeces te regi eorum fecerunt?” - When did the assholes make you their king? “Lupa” - Slut “Cacator” - Shitter “Plenus stercoris es” You are full of shit “Derideo te!” - I laugh at you! “Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?” - Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me? “Fabriacate diem, punk” - Make my day, punk “Id imperfectum manet dum confectum erit” - It isn’t over until it’s over “Morologus es!” - You’re talking like a moron! “Puto vos esse molestissimos” - I think that you are very annoying “Qualem blennum!” - What a doofus! “Qualem muleirculam!” - What a bimbo! “Quisque comoedus est” - Everybody’s a comedian “Radix lecti” - Couch potato “Raptus regaliter” - Royally screwed “Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem!” - Stand aside plebeians! I am on imperial business “Stultus est sicut stultus facit” - Stupid is as stupid does “Tace atque abi” - Shut up and go away “Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant “ - May barbarians invade your personal space “Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant” - May conspirators assassinate you in the mall “Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant” - May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy “Vacca foeda” - Dirty cow “Vae!” - Damn! “Viri sunt Viri” - Men are slime “Immanissimum ac foedissimum monstrum! ” - Gross and putrid monster! “Faciem durum cacantis habes” - You have the face of a man with severe constipation “Mala pituita nasi” - Nasty nasal drippings! “Si me rogas, potes abire et tu ipse cacare.” - If you ask me, you can go and shit on yourself. “Commodum habitus es” - You have just been owned “Canis matrem tuam subagiget” - Dog has desecrated your mother “Hic erit in lecto fortissimus” - He is Hercules in the sack “Asinus Stultissimus” - Dumbass (lit. “Very stupid donkey”) “Caput tuum in ano est” - Your head is in your ass “Tuam matrem feci” - I did your mother “A tergo” - In the ass “Scio erit in lecto fortissimus” - I am Hercules in the sack. Just bear in mind that the overwhelming majority are NOT ROMAN-ERA PHRASES, but rather the literal translations of distinctly modern phrases by modern Latin students (the obvious exception being the Catullus line, gods but I love Catullus) and some of the actual Roman-era words/phrases are given somewhat inaccurate translations (eg, lupa literally means “she-wolf” but in slang it meant “female prostitute” — which it does in modern Italian, I’ve learned the hard way; perite means “go to Hell” which is a bit tonally different from “fuck off”; and irrumabo is a future-tense VERB, not a noun!!!). The grammar is a little stiff in places too, but hey. The Romans had some really damned dirty turns of phrase all their own. IMO theirs are often a lot more interesting. If you’re writing snappy comebacks from nerdy students (*cough*) these’ll do great. If you’re writing invectives that’re supposed to be ancient…go find the actual ancient invectives. ;) From Catullus: Line Latin text English translation[14][15][16][17] 1 Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, I will sodomize you and face-fuck you, 2 Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi, Cock-sucker Aurelius and catamite Furius, 3 qui me ex versiculis meis putastis, You who think, because my verses 4 quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum. Are delicate, that I am a sissy. 5 Nam castum esse decet pium poetam For it's right for the devoted poet to be chaste 6 ipsum, versiculos nihil necessest(necesse est); Himself, but it's not necessary for his verses to be so. 7 qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem, Verses which then have taste and charm, 8 si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici If they are delicate and sexy, 9 et quod pruriat incitare possunt, And can incite an itch, 10 non dico pueris, sed his pilosis And I don't mean in boys, but in those hairy old men 11 qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos. Who can't get their flaccid dicks up. 12 Vos, quod milia multa basiorum You, because you have read of my thousand kisses, 13 legistis, male me marem putatis? You think I'm a sissy? 14 Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo. I will sodomize you and face-fuck you. Sexual terminology Latin is an exact language for obscene acts, such as pedicabo and irrumabo, which appear in the first and last lines of the poem. The term pedicare is a transitive verb, meaning to "insert one's penis into another person's anus",[18] and derives from an analogous Greek word, ???????, itself derived ultimately from the Greek word ????, ?????? (child). The term cinaede in line 2 refers to the "bottom" person in that act, i.e., the one being penetrated.[19] The term irrumare is likewise a transitive verb, meaning to "insert one's penis into another person's mouth for suckling",[20] and derives from the Latin word, ruma meaning "teat". A male who suckles a penis is denoted as a fellator or, equivalently, a pathicus (line 2).[21] Thus, there is an elegant poetic chiasm (a "criss-cross" rhetorical structure) in the first two lines. Each line has two obscenities; the first of the first line, pedicabo, matches the second of the second line, cinaede, whereas the second of the first line, irrumabo, matches the first of the second line, pathice. The central pun of the poem occurs in line 4 with quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum. The word molliculi refers to Catullus' verses and means "soft and tender little verses", as in love poetry. However, mollis can also mean "effeminate fellator", as well as "soft" in the sense of "flaccid penis". Likewise, parum pudicum refers to Catullus, and can mean "wanton" or "fellator". Thus, in explicit modern English, the pun suggests that "just because my verses are little and soft, doesn't mean that I'm the same, that I'm some hussy cock-sucker who can't get it up". This may be translated more delicately with the analogous English pun, "that I've gone all soft". The rest of the poem plays upon that pun. On the contrary, says Catullus, although my verses are soft (molliculi ac parum pudici in line 8, reversing the play on words), they can arouse even limp old men. Should Furius and Aurelius have any remaining doubts about Catullus' virility, he offers to fuck them anally and orally to prove otherwise. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latin_profanity http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_tablet Mater tua tam obesa est ut cum Romae est urbs habet octo colles Your mama is so fat when she goes to Rome it has 8 hills! Futue te ipsum. Go F--- yourself Mande merdam et morere. Eat sh-- and die Velim caput tuum devellere deinde in confinium gulae cacare I'm gonna rip off you head and crap down your neck. Te fututo, gaudeo You having been f---d, I rejoice. (ablative absolute! Amaze your Latin teacher!) Sentite aciem acrem ensis mortiferi, o larvae putidae, o bustirapi nefandi! Feel the keen edge if the sword of doom, no-good stinking corpse-eating tomb-ghouls! Caput capitis = dick head. Cacator = shitter Hope that helps !! M.VIB.M. Usefull if you have a friend that knows latin and thinks he is a super cool because of it. Latin Swearing Futue te ipsum et caballum tuum screw you and the horse you rode in on Tu plenus sterco es You are full of shit (lit. you are packed with shit) Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags. Apudne te vel me? Your place or mine? Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar. Cepe indicum Take a hint Derideo te! I laugh at you! Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me? Fabriacate diem, punk Make (my) day, punk Fac ut vivas Get a life Apudne te vel me? Your place or mine? Hocine bibo aut in eum digitos insero? Do I drink this or stick my fingers in it? Obesa cantavit The fat lady has sung Id imperfectum manet dum confectum erit It isn't over until it's over Illegitimi non carborundum Don't let the bastards burn you Labra lege Read my lips Lege atque lacrima Read 'em and weep Morologus es! You're talking like a moron! Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo Don't call me, I'll call you. Noli nothis permittere te terere Don’t let the bastards get you down. Nullo modo No way Puto vos esse molestissimos I think that you are very annoying Qualem blennum! What a doofus! Qualem muleirculam! What a bimbo! Quisque comoedus est Everybody's a comedian Quo usque tandem abutere patentia nostra? How long are you going to abuse our patience? Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri? How do you get your hair to do that? Radix lecti Couch potato Raptus regaliter Royally screwed Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem! Stand aside plebeians! I am on imperial business Scio vos esse molestissimos I know that you are very troublesome Stultus est sicut stultus facit Stupid is as stupid does Tace atque abi Shut up and go away Ut si! As if! Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant May barbarians invade your personal space Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant May conspirators assassinate you in the mall Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy Vacca foeda Stupid cow Vae! Damn! Viri sunt Viri Men are slime Immanissimum ac foedissimum monstrum! Gross and putrid monster! Faciem durum cacantis habes You have the face of a man with severe constipation Mala pituita nasi Nasty nasal drippings! Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem. Stand aside plebeians! I am on imperial business. Si me rogas, potes abire et tu ipse cacare. If you ask me, you can go and shit on yourself. Semper in excrementum, sole profundum qui variat. Always in the shit, just the depth that varies.

[nostalgiaispeace]

608.

When was the last time you used a pair of ear/headphones? today.

Have you ever tried to count to infinity? no...

Do you like making mixed cds? not anymore.

Would you want to live forever if it meant being a tree? no...?.

What is the strangest thing you’ve put chocolate on? i don’t know?

Could you earn a good living selling weed? probably not.

What would you do tomorrow if you had $500? pay some bills.

What body hair gets the most attention? my hair?

What’s your favorite commercial? i don’t watch them.

Do you like pie? yes

Do you appreciate dishwashers? YES

What’s the worst experience you don’t remember? if i don’t remember it...how am i supposed to answer this?

Are your dreams usually cheerful? i don’t usually remember them.

What’s your favorite color of eyeliner? Black.

How’s the weather where you are at? not sure....chilly?

Anything bad happen today? no

Can you solve a Rubik’s Cube? no

What was the last thing that you microwaved? burgers.

Did you have an easy-bake oven when you were little? i think so

Have you ever seen a donkey? Yes.

Do you like sheep? Yes.

Do you like dogs? Yes.

Do you have one? back home.

Do you ever want to be married? I am.

Do you take a lot of pictures? no

Where will you be 2 hours from now? bed probably.

What is your current mood? tired.

Where are you going tomorrow? work

Who was the last person you yelled at? i don’t know

Do you think you’ll be a good Mother/Father? I hope so.

The last thing you drank? diet coke

What’s in your pocket? nothing

What colour are your fingernails? natural

Have you ever left school just because you didn’t want to be there? no

Did anything cute happen today? yes

What are you currently hearing? the tv

Are you afraid of the dark? no

Do you usually tell people when they hurt your feelings? no.

Do you have a common first name? Yes.

Do you like your middle name or your first name more? my first name.

What year would/did you turn 21? 2011

What was popular when you were a kid? Bratz dolls...Polly Pockets...umm...some other kind of doll.

Do you wear more rings or necklaces? both

Have you ever been engaged? yes

Can you see your veins through your skin? Yeah.

Do you worry about having good grammar online? not really.

Do you know anyone with a lazy eye? me

Did your parents let you have pets when you were a kid? yes

Would you rather live in an apartment or a duplex? doesn’t matter to me as long as it’s my own space.

Do you like spicy chips? Yeah.

Do you have any ‘different’ keychains on your keys/purse? no

Do you collect pins? yes

What band was on the last band t-shirt you wore? Asking Alexandria...I think..

Do you wear more pink or yellow? yellow

Have you ever been out of the state you were born in? Yes.

Do you have any tattoos on your arms? yes

Have you ever owned or known someone who owned a black cat? know someone

When was the last time you felt jealous? dunno

What’s the last thing you bought besides food/drink? perfume and a book

What album is the last song you listened to from? my band’s EP

Who scheduled your last doctor visit? me i think

What’s the last video game you played? Tetris

Do you have anything on your wrists right now? yes

Do you have any holiday theme’d socks? i think so? not sure.

What kind of accent do you have? ask others.

What’s the last funny movie you watched? dunno.

Can you remember your parents’ birthdays? yeah

Is there anyone who you just absolutely cannot STAND being around? YES

What is the design on your shirt? it’s Marilyn Monroe.

Do you know anyone who just flat-out fails at life? yes..sure..

Are you a Ghoulscout? no...

Do you know someone who’s just always wrong about everything? lol yes

Do you make fun of people often? depends

Do you read your friend’s surveys? my friends don’t take them..

If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you pick? Eve and the Serpent.

How do you feel about band tattoos? i want some.

How much are you willing to pay for a pair of sunglasses? 0 dollars.

What is the origin of your last name? I have no idea. lol

Do you ever use the n-word? if i’m rapping along to a song it accidentally slips out. >.<

What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? doesn’t matter.

What brand of hair dye do you prefer to use? not sure.

What country do you live in? USA.

Did/do you ride the bus to and from school? i did.

Do you prefer beef, chicken or steak? beef

Are you any good at applying make up? i’m alright

Do you misuse commas? probably.

Have you ever bitten your dentist? no

Are you someone who likes to make simple things difficult? probably.

Who makes you laugh the most? dunno?

Do you have any plans for this weekend? not really. probably chilling and/or working

Do you crack your knuckles? yes

Coffee or Tea? coffee

Do you know anyone named Matt? i’m married to a Matt

Wearing any bracelets? yes

When were you last outside? Today.

Do you need someone to cheer you up right now? no

Are your nails painted? no

Do you think things will change in the next 3 months? maybe?

Do you think you’d make a good parent? i hope so

You start crying. Who do you want by your side? My mom or Matt.

Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? yes

Did someone screw you over lately? yes

Would you ever get your hips pierced? yes

If you were given the chance to go to Paris, would you go? yes

Who was the first person you talked to today? Matt

What’s your favorite musical? Singin’ in the Rain

How do you get to sleep? i take some pills.

What happened at the last party you went to? it was my wedding...my band played...me and matt shoved cake in each other’s faces...got super drunk...played beer pong

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? yes

What’s your hair like at this present moment? ponytail

Are you more comfortable sitting or lying down? Lying down.

What’s the worst film you’ve ever seen? too many

Are you an untidy person? yes

Have you ever been a fan of N*Sync? duh

Do you watch a lot of television? on like netflix

Do you think you’re fat sometimes? yes

Do you like to flex your muscles? no

Do you think you’ll ever get plastic surgery? if i was rich

Have you ever completely misunderstood what somebody was saying? often

Favorite kind of cake: Chocolate.

Was it a boy or a girl to text you last? girl

Name something you are doing tomorrow? work

Do you sleep on your stomach? sometimes

Where are you going to be at 4:00 p.m. tomorrow? my bed sleeping

Are you missing someone? Yes.

Do you like horror or comedy? horror

Who did you last share a taxi with? no one

Dogs or cats? cats

What were you doing at 12 this afternoon? it hasn’t gotten there yet

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? yes

What’s your favorite season? Why? spring; feels lovely outside

When’s the last time you did something you knew was wrong? dunno

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up? yes

Who was the last person you hugged? Matt

When was the last time you cried? today

Who was driving the last time you were in a car? me

Does any part of your body hurt right now? yes

Do you like your bed? it’s fine

When did you last talk to your brother or sister? dunno

How much cash do you have on you? like 2$.

Are you tanned? No.

Did you get any compliments today? yes

Have you ever gone to court? yes

Do you get jealous easily? yeah

Would you ever want to swim with the sharks? no

What are you doing Saturday? chilling

What is in your back pocket? nothing

What were you doing at 3:00 a.m. this morning? chilling.

What do you usually do first in the morning? have a smoke

Are you any good at math? not really.

Any plans for Friday night? working

Do you have a little crush on someone? no.

When’s the last time you ran?
 LOL

Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? some

What are you dreading right now? Work.

Do you celebrate 420? No.

Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? sometimes

If anyone came to your house on your “lazy days” what would ya’ll do? nothing

Who last grabbed your ass? Matt i’m sure

Have you ever been on your school’s track team? LOL

Do you own a pair of Converse? Yeah.

Did you copy and paste this survey? yes....

Do you eat raw cookie dough? Yeah.

Have you ever kicked a vending machine? probably

Don’t you hate it when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over? i don’t listen to the radio

Do you watch Trading Spaces? no

How do you eat oreos? normally?

Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone? probably.

Are you cocky? No.

Could you live without a computer? i have

Do you wear your shoes in the house? no

Who or what sleeps with you? Matt and my cat

At what age did you find out that Santa wasn’t real? 11?

What do you do when you’re sad? cry and sleep

Who would you call first if you won the lottery? Matt? my mom?

Last time you saw your best friend? my wedding

Are you in high school? no

What jewelry are you wearing? wedding band, engagement ring, supernatural bracelet, pearl necklace.

Is anyone on your bad side now? yes

What’s the first thing you do when you get online? depends on what i wanna do?

Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy? no

Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes? not really

Where do you work? Residential Home for foster kids.

Do you return your cart? Yeah.

Do you have a dishwasher? Yes.

What noise do you hear? the tv and AC

Would you survive in prison? probably

Who is the youngest in your family? my sister

If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would most likely overpack? me

What’s the last thing you purchased? food i think

Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? no

What brand are your pants right now? they were my grandpa’s

Ever been to Georgia (the state)? the airport

What irritates you most on the internet? people are annoying

What brand is your digital camera? -

Do you own expensive perfume/cologne? sure

Are you taking college classes right now? no

Do you like sushi? no

Do you get your hair cut every month? No.

Do you go online everyday? no

What makes someone a best friend? there’s a special bond..duh