#i hope u love it ;v;

[aardvaark]

tara cole my beloved

[shakingparadigm]

what is the theory that ivan manipulated the event where till and mizi met the wagyein?

It's not a theory, actually! It's confirmed that Ivan orchestrated the whole event. The true reason as to why however is still unknown. The information provides more context to this scene, though:

During the earlier times of ALNST the most rational explanation for this scene was that Till ran after a flower crown (presumably Mizi's) and Ivan followed him in out of curiosity. Now we know that Ivan was conveniently just standing there because he was waiting.

Side note, I find it heartbreaking (and maybe a little funny, sorry) that Till most likely didn't notice Ivan in this scene. That's just like him, isn't it. Always too busy running after Mizi while Ivan trails behind, an ever-present shadow.

I'm not sure how Ivan manipulated the circumstances for both of them to end up there, but it is confirmed that everything was intentional. What strikes me most is how they describe this particular scene:

I can't copy down what they said word-for-word (Patreon info), but they described Ivan watching "creepily" as Till and Mizi are faced with danger. We know that Ivan was familiar with the Cerberus wagyein beforehand, enough to touch its teeth and even to rest himself inside its maw. To Ivan, the wagyein is not dangerous, but to Till and Mizi, it could be. Ivan prepared the wagyein, led them there, and watched "creepily" from afar as Till fell on his knees, seemingly injured.

The closest I can get to making sense of Ivan's "scheme" is that he wanted to see how other children would react in a dangerous situation. Ivan's always been an observer, after all, and he's learned to survive by copying the more "normal" behaviors of his peers. This situation occured when Ivan was still young and had not yet developed his more charming mask, so perhaps he staged this encounter to study a situational response, to learn and mimic the emotion of fear. And what better subjects for the experiment than two of the most expressive and reactive humans of their batch? It helps that he was already fixated on Till beforehand, too. I think Ivan became irreversibly obssessed after this incident, especially since it's framed as a turning point in Ivan's life, comparing Till to the stars.

This is just my attempt at an interpretation, though. It could very well be for another reason. He most likely chose Till and Mizi specifically for personal reasons, not just for reaction. I'm still not sure on the purpose behind the whole thing.

The team wanted to capture Ivan's "dark emotions" through the shot of his stalking, which could relate to his more sinister intentions. His gaze can be read in a few different ways, though. Curiosity, interest, fear, etc. Maybe that's why they decided to redraw the shot in ROUND 6.

I think this better sells the feeling they were trying to convey.

[manitapaleta]

listen,….. we don’t know y hermie didn’t grow up with his dads but i already know its going to DEVASTATE ME when anthony tells us bc i know they would have loved the little joker, our sweet little thespian (also big brother nick hellooooooo)

[haeivn]

⌦  ◫ ⠀⠀⠀ ☖   inspire

⌦  ◫ ⠀⠀⠀ ☖   @baesol

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

[keibea]

her name is fiorella and i lubs her very much goodbye

[milkbreadtoast]

started reading this one and there's only 11 eps out but it's really cute so far i like it... clicked on it bc the art looked rly good and IT IS i like the art style a lot and it's v well drawn... its also funny and i like the mc a lot shes cute?? obv 11 eps isnt enough to say much abt where the story will go but im enjoying it so far at least 👀... it feels like im watching a cute lighthearted anime haha.. ALSO LOOK HOW GORGEOUS THE ART IS

[deus-ex-mona]

real talk: lxl should continue to explore romance fantasy concepts in their songs. it’s clearly working for them~

[sunnibits]

poor little magpie, caught in a web

[art--harridan]

[Image one: The first page of a digital comic about TommyInnit. It begins with the sentence "it destroys you enormously (of course it would)". This surrounds an image of Tommy clutching at his chest and hair, his face blackened out. Below him, there's three panels depicting a bloodied Dream, a menacing Jschlatt and a wide-eyed Wilbur Soot. They have rain, thunder, and lava behind them respectively. The panels accompany the line "a long list of disappointing heroes getting longer". Finally, at the bottom there's Wilbur, post-revival, standing infront of a large column of flames, which travels to the top of the page. The last line is "the brave leader leading you further into despairs everlasting grip".

Image two: The second page of a digital comic about TommyInnit. At the top of it, there's the Cat and Mellohi discs, next to the line "except there they are". There's three panels below which show the discs in various states of disrepair. They accompany the line "(singed around the edges, cracked generously, a large rift running through one like a hairline fracture)". Then, there's Tommy, still bloody after being revived. He's wide-eyed and his body is rigid. Next to him there's a buttercup, equally in tatters. The final sentence is "a far cry from the better days they've seen".

Image three: The third page of a digital comic about TommyInnit. "they wouldn't look like that if they were gone," it begins, around a panel of Tommy's hand and a disc. You can only see the silhouette of them. Beneath this, there's a bucket which is on its side, lava spilling out. The line continues "if the lava had really swallowed them whole". There's four panels further down, showing Tommy's hands. In the first he's holding an egg, in the second he's petting a dolphin, in the third he's sewing Wilbur’s jacket, and in the fourth he's holding the Your Tubbo compass. This is accompanied by the line "(you feel a bastard hope build itself back together with a trembling needle as you thumb the vinyl)". In the corner, Tommy's hand is thumbing the Mellohi disc.

Image four: The fourth page of a digital comic about TommyInnit. The page starts "they're here and maybe", Tommy's hands underneath the phrase. One is open while one is clenched together. Underneath them, there's a panel of Wilbur, and one of Tommy, both post-revival. They're looking in opposite directions to one another. This is accompanied by the line "(though you still can't bring yourself to look him in the eyes)". Below, there's two more panels. The first is a silhouette of Wilbur, whereas the second is a fully detailed drawing of him. The page ends "maybe he is now too", "tangible and familiar in a way  he had stopped being somewhere between the fall and the impact".

Image five: The fifth page of a digital comic about TommyInnit. It has no text, simply depicting Tommy standing in front of a nether portal. He's holding the Cat disc limply at his side, his other hand held closely to his chest plate. His face is black and his eyes are in shadows.

Image six: The sixth page of a digital comic about TommyInnit. "why are you still here? it asks. It has Tommy at the centre of the page, hands clenched. He's crying profusely and the Cat disc in his hand is dissolving into smoke. There's a panel behind his head of Dream standing in the rain, next to the question "this is the revelation isn't it?". There's another panel lower down of Tommy angrily gesturing at Dream in the prison, accompanied by the line "the scene in the movie where everything starts to go uphill,". Finally, at the bottom it continues the sentence with "the day the world begins to right itself". The panel next to this depicts an alarm with Dream's face on it, ringing wildly.

Image seven: The seventh page of a digital comic about TommyInnit. It begins by asking "so why are they still spinning in your mind, burning up like a fever?". This accompanies a panel of Tommy's hand and a disc, but only as silohuettes. The lines for the hand are shaky and there's wobbly lines surrounding it. There's two more questions after this: "why was the betrayal so easy to fall back into?" and "why was it so believable?". With this, there's three panels showing his fist slowly closing. In the last one, his nails have pierced his skin and he's started to bleed. Above that panel, there's an image of Tommy crying and clutching at his shirt, biting at his lip as he barely keeps it together.

Image eight: The eighth page of a digital comic about TommyInnit. The page starts "it wasn't real, and still your breath stumbles out shakily". To the left of this, there's a close-up of Tommy biting at one of his nails, so near the skin that its bleeding. He's also sweating hard and crying. Further down, there's a paintbrush, haphazardly secured together with tape and twine. It's brush is splayed outwards messily. Beneath it, there's the sentence "with all these fresh coats of paint you keep on giving your life and the loved ones you try so hard to care for". This line surrounds a panel of Tommy, and one of Wilbur. It depicts them in the aftermath of Wilbur persuading Dream to burn the fake discs. Tommy nervously fiddles with his hair, while Wil's face is blank. Next to it, there's Wilbur’s hand holding a lit cigarette.

Image nine: The last page of a digital comic about TommyInnit. It is fully blacked out except for the text and the drawing in the middle. It depicts Tommy claustrophobically confined to a small rectangle of space. It is encased by thin layers of colours which resemble coats of paint. Tommy is smiling nervously. This page has the line "it feels like the walls are closing in on you".]

standstill

[foxinys]

an assortment of skz for @yangjeongin ♡ 

[lovedazai-archived]

this week was so stupid

[kuroosdarling]

hello friendz !! i am packing my bags and moving to @tetzoro !!! please come join me if ya want ^_^

back to navi.

[rainymoodlet]

Kiss Me in Komorebi+ 🌸

[Episode Five] One Last Push!

Daniel's still making the rounds! I decided to give these two a better-lookin' setting for their One-on-One: but their in-game conversation still stands! Abhi was feeling a little Tense after their Jealousy moodlet, but once they started talking to Daniel it seemed like allll of that melted away! These two can talk: I love watching them spawn new subjects, because they never seem to run out of conversation! Dan might not realize how romantic what he's said sounds here, but I think Abhi sure appreciated the imagery of the two them running away to the Falls of Selvadorada together~ 😉

@hallasimss

[ Part 18/??]  🌹

[vhvrs]

i talk abt/ draw summer so little but she is like. my fav fav i love her sooo much n i love the specific niche she presents to the story that i rarely ever see in media but also rnm does a LOT of casual things u rarely see in long form media I LOVE HER!!!!!!!

[boxwinebaddie]

Has Raven/Jersey ever broken a bone?

alright, *cracks knuckles*

this one goes out to sickfic princess ana and whumpwhiz rp.

*blows a kiss to the heavens bc they're angels* MWAH!

but aaaaany-knee-ways:

...it's interesting, actually.

( or at least, it is to me, darling. )

because of how he's written, you'd think probably think, 'oh, but nina! jerseykyle gets in all these fights. he's all big and tough and strong! he prolly breaks bones all the time!" and that's precisely IT, my dear!

jersey breaks bones;

he does not get his bones broken.

EVER.

and i suppose that's because he is a seasoned fighter. ergo, he knows how to throw a wicked punch, where exactly on your body it will hurt or humiliate you the most -- probably a combination of the two if he's feeling particularly pissed that day ( everyday ) -- how many times to do it, where you're vulnerable, sees everyone as a possible adversary and thus, weaponizes the moment he sees you, surveys you, sizes you up, indicates what kind of threat you are and…

Promptly Neutralizes You.

he takes all these precautions, runs all these tedious, elaborate tests and intense, premeditated processes of elimination ( literally ), not just because he does not like losing, which he doesn't...but because he literally can't. simply put: he does not know how to lose or get hit.

see, jersey does not cope with pain very well. mentally or physically. that's why he inflicts pain, because he is secretly scared of feeling it.

on the outside, he is a harsh, frightening, impenetrable, menacing thing covered in barbs and wires and armed heavily, because on the inside he is extremely fragile and should even the smallest chink in his armor form, his entire fierce façade will shatter into smithereens.

he does not like to get hurt, to feel weak, to feel unpleasant and horrible things, so he does everything in his power to be powerful so that he will never feel powerless. it's why he learned how to fight, it wasn't to hit people, it was to avoid being hit by other people. it was a defense mechanism because of how often he got bullied and how weak he constantly was from swimming out against the current of all his chronic illnesses. a lot of people would just let go of that short stick that life gave them and drown, but not kyle. not my baby. no, his life belongs to him. so he sharpened that stick into the shiv...

stuck it straight through the gut of life,

— and made god beg for HIS mercy.

but yes, it's all a perfectly placed show. because my boy, scary and frightening as he may be swinging those freckled fists of fury...

is a fucking WUSS.

who has not broken a lot of bones actually! not his anyways! because when he does lose a fight, he is a sore fucking loser indeed because he's suddenly hit with all this pain that he does not know how to endure or deal with and literally is such a baby and a princess, omg.

i /swear/ that WHOLE divorce whumpshot para and the one of him barfighting is him acting really tough and cool, but hes really like hooly shit, this sucks so fkn Bad, i hate this, i want my mOM!! :'(

riiiiiiiiiip, lmaooooo.

spoiler alert: jersey kyle is dainty and spoiled. he is a champion complainer and if gets a papercut...

you will hear about it.

trust.

conversely, however...lead singer ravenstan,

is very Quiet about pain.

ravenstan knows pain like the back of his hands, he, unfortunately, has had hands on him his entire life and where kyle learned to kick and claw and bite, stan just...internalized and endured all that pain.

he isn't brutal or vicious, he is kind and forgiving, he does not hurt things even if they are hurting him and has been hurt so much that being hurt is as easy as breathing to him…which is horrible because he has asthma and a lot of smoke-related respiratory damage.

but yeah, i actually ( god, i love you ravenstan ) want to scream because where jersey is hard outside and soft inside, raven is soft outside and hard inside and is extremely good at being hurt, ( a child weaned on pain thinks hurt is a comfort, rip ), will take pretty much anything you throw at him and because he literally does not want to inconvenience you...will not even indicate that he's hurt to you.

like he is very passionate about protecting and taking care of other people, but he does not care at all about himself or what happens to him, so if you're hurt, he is on his hands and knees, comforting you, placating you, doing whatever he can to help you...and he might have three bullets in his back, you wouldn't know until he started bleeding through his clothes and fell over. that man is a fucking TANK, guys.

the universe has tried to kill ravenstan...several tries.

( suicide tw, he has also tried a couple times </3 )

no such luck.

it helps that he actually has a surprising amount of off-hand medical knowledge because sharon transferred a lot of it onto him during stan's childhood when she was patching him up because he was a fkn disaster child who tracked mud and blood into her house 25/8, spent three days in a tree and took a hockey puck to the face.

i genuinely think that a large part of why stan was able to survive and endure a lot of the horrors he had was because sharon scolding him in spanish and teaching him stuff literally saved his fucking life.

but yeah, ravenstan is my selfless, accident prone king. he is such a mess, pilots his body so carelessly that it is legitimately frightening. he is constantly covered in bruises he doesn't remember getting, scratches he didn't even notice, does dumb shit and gets hurt and like literally can’t tell he's hurt until he is like abt to pass out.

tldr: rave gets hurt often and has broken a lot of bones.

usually because he's doing stupid, heroic shit.

for example, i am not sure how it got broken, i like to think it was at a concert or an event and he SAVED SOMEONE from something falling or what have you and broke the fuck out of his arm. so his arm was in a cast ( i need it to be hot pink ) and he was super bummed out and felt hella bad because he had a meet and greet and couldn't sign autographs so he just let everyone else...

give him Their autograph instead.

so no one got a personally signed picture of raven of crimson dawn, but much cooler, imo, was that they all personally signed his cast.

my eyes are leaking, lmao. branch in my eyeeee. ;-;

gods...sweet...sweet angel. uGh.

THIS IS SO LONG, BUT I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION! idk why i got so invested in this, omg, but thank you for asking and being curious and thank you all for being so lovely and asking me things. it means a lot to me that you care and know i adore you.

-uncle nina, jerseykyle inflictor of angst pain

( and major wuss ) >.>