#i just finished a piece and wasn't going to post it but. i feel like i can now idk

[nsfwflint]

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs/Official Goodbye Post

Well this was clearly going to happen eventually after retirement but I think it's for the best that I finally step away from this blog.

First things first, I want to thank everyone who supported me throughout the years. I started this blog in the middle of 2020 and all of you who supported me helped me get through some tough times, including the death of a family member. For a while, this blog was tons of fun. Ideas and words were flowing onto pages and the creative spark was immensely satisfying. Seeing people enjoy my own niche but vanilla works helped me feel good about my writing.

Like I said, this blog was a lot of fun. Until it wasn't. The pressure to perform, the idea that each piece had to be better than the one before it, even if nobody expected that. The growing "meta" of the community with certain idols becoming "mainstream". While I never tried to focus too much on notes, it did quickly get demoralizing to see pieces I poured countless hours of work into get less notes than some random pieces just because the idol I chose was less popular. It wasn't even really about the notes, it was about wanting to feel like the work I put in was acknowledged. Even though I shouldn't have let it affect me, as someone who always struggled with acknowledgement of others, it was tough on me. Eventually it felt like more and more of a chore to write because why bother if I'm not going to be acknowledged for my effort anyway?

This combined with drama from other writers (since this is goodbye post I don't feel bad about airing the dirty laundry, Peach you're still a bitch whose fragile ego couldn't take the same trash talk you dished to countless other people) and the community shifting to younger and younger idols to the point that I felt massively uncomfortable just communicating with some of the other writers in this circle of the internet, killed the spark I had for this hobby.

So I decided to retire. I flirted with a comeback every once in awhile, tried to finish at least a few of the multitude of partial drafts I had started to varying degrees over the years. But despite all of these efforts, I found that my love for this community truly died. But I still held onto to whatever vague attachments I had to this blog and tried to transform it into a random space to geek about my various hobbies since this was the biggest platform I've ever achieved while also messaging the few writers I still talked to. But as more and more of those writers also disappeared, it's time for me to accept that it's time to say goodbye.

Over the past few months I've been taking big steps to get my life into a place I want it to be and I think a big part of that now also involves laying this blog to rest. It's not fair to you guys who are still here expecting some type of possible comeback, and it's not fair to me to hold onto these feelings that at this point can only be reduced to nostalgia. While my catalog might not be as long or extensive as some of the other writers in the community, I'm still pretty proud of the work I put out for the most part.

If by any chance anyone still even reads any of my works, don't worry. The blog itself isn't going anywhere, I'm not deleting it. It'll stay here for a good long time. It just won't be a place I visit anymore.

Even though most of the following people are now gone, I want to take this time to thank some of the most influential people behind my time on this blog.

First, huge thanks once again to the amazing @lockefanfic and @sinsatmidnight. I've said it a million times but you two were the whole reason I started writing in the first place. You helped me onto this amazing journey and I'll always appreciate you for it.

@ggidolsmuts, @cataboliac, @themanthemyththeverite, you guys were some of my best friends in this community and I appreciate everything you all did for me. I love you guys.

A special shoutout to @kingmaker-a, you were my biggest fan and you were a huge reason why I kept going for a while. My last couple of pieces are definitely out because of your support.

A giant thank you to the 9,500ish who were here over the years. While I never quite got to 10k followers or hit 1k notes, the fact that there's still so many of you here never ceased to amaze me, especially since I never expected to get 100 followers, let alone almost 100 times that. Truly amazing and you all hold a special place in my heart.

And finally, to quote a manga I enjoy, "if you liked my work I'm happy, and if you didn't, I'm sorry but I can't do shit about that."

I'll stay on for a little bit to answer any potential farewell asks but I don't know how long that will last.

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs and keep on rocking!

[turtlecleric]

You are doing your best to be better. To be honest to Leo about your feelings. Though to be quiet honest, trying to hide what you are feeling from Leo is about as difficult as it sounds. He just knows, he always just knows when something is up. And when necessary he will give you space, but tonight is not one of those nights.

he sits next to you on your bed his hand wrapped around yours offering a comforting squeeze as he just sits and listens. The window he climbed through to get into your room wide open. a cool breeze caressing you head to toe, ruffling your curtains. Calming you both as you try to find the words. The right words to let him know how you feel but not worry him at the same time.

“It’s never a feeling as deep as hatred” you finally manage. “ I just, really, really, don’t like myself sometimes. I am supposed to be more than what I currently am, I am supposed to be in a different place. I feel like I am constantly falling behind, unable to catch up. Like I’m drowning in myself. Like I’m constantly disappointing everyone.”

You don’t look at Leo as you speak. One part terrified of what you will see and another disappointed that’s he has to come comfort you at all. But then he takes you by your chin. Gently maneuvering it so you are facing him. You look at his mouth. Still too scared to look him in the eye. To nervous of what you will see.

“Mi preciosa . Please look at me.”

His voice is low and soft. More like a coo than anything. You can feel the affection in it, the care he has for you. You pinch your eyes closed a moment. Steeling yourself, before you slowly open them and look him in the eye. And it’s then it’s all laid bare. There is no pity, there is no resentment or sadness. He looks at you with deep understanding. Like one would the other half of their soul. Like he’s looking in a mirror. Like he can see you fully and clearly what you are. You feel naked and exposed and raw. His gaze exploring every piece of doubt you have ever harbored.

and then he kisses you. Deep and wanting. But a delicate thing all the same. You try to pull away but he holds you there. Entrancing you to continue. So you do. You stay there with him as he moves to kiss the corner of your mouth, to your neck. Sliding your shirt to the side so he can have access to your collarbone and shoulder. Peppering them with longing.

“Leo, what are you doing?” You whisper as a slow building heat begins to envelop you.

Leo looks up at you. His expression bare, no sign of his usual mask as he looks at you with a softness that makes you what to cry. “I love you.”

His honestly makes you laugh rather than cry. But a part of you breaks at the words. A part of you not ready to stop hiding you reinforce your walls. “I know Leo.”

Leo gently pushes forward his chin rubbing along your neck, in the familiar gesture of him senting you. Again he repeats. “I love you.”

A small sigh leaves you. “I-I know. Leo I know what you are trying to do. It won’t… I’m not.”

His hands fall to your sides both his thumb peaking under your shirt as he ducks his head low to the underside of your chin and kisses you where you’re soft. “I love you.” The words practically purring against you.

you feel yourself sputter. To find words to ground yourself to.

“I love you.” “Leo.”

“I love you”

you feel yourself start to break.

“I love you.” your voice becomes warped with emotion. As you give in to it. “ say it again.”

he complies as easily as breathing. “ I love you.”

“again.”

“I love you.”

you feel yourself begin to tremble. “Again.”

“I love you.”

He has you on your back now. Kissing away the tears streaking your face. You can’t stop crying. It feels so silly. And yet he repeats its again and again his voice steady with the same honestly and longing he’s had for you sense the beginning.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.”

His hands slide down you slowly, giving you enough time to regret him. You don’t. gently he unbuttons your pants. Slipping you out of them as he kisses your shoulder. Your shirt is next piece to be removed and so on and so on until you are completely bare in front of him. He looks at you with softness. With kindness. With a desire for you now more then ever to be soft with you. So you let him.

He bends down and kisses your tummy. His hands delicately caressing your sides as he dose. “ I love you here.”

He moves down further to the crook of your knee and kisses you there too. “I love you here too.”

your thighs your legs your feet. He kisses them all like he can’t get enough. Your shoulders your sides your breasts. His hands explore you in a reverence, that you swear should be reserved for gods alone. But he touches you in that delicate piety all the same. Like he can’t imagine a world where he isn’t touching you. Like your body is all he will ever need. Like you are the concept of life itself, he worships you fully.

finally he leans over to your ear and presses a kiss to your temple. His hands touching and pinching at your nipples as he dose. “ Will you let me take you Hermosa? Mi preciosa, Mi amor. Can I have you? Please can I have you.”

Deep heat unfurls in you as he begs for you, over and over. With a Desperation, like he hasn’t been the one rendering you to stardust by his caresses. He begs for you, like you have been the one leading him to worship this whole time. Like you had been the one to entrance him. you wrap your arms around his neck and sigh as his hands dip lower. Ghosting his fingers on your hips.

“Take me.” You mumble into his shoulder.

and he all but devours you. His mouth is in your pulse and the quick dull pain of teeth meet you on your throat. As one of his hands explores your seam and folds like he’s doing it for the first time. Worshiping your cunt with his hand. meanwhile his moth babbles on and on.

“Mi preciosa, my Hermosa, mi princesa, me amore. I love you.”

He curls one of his fingers inside you and you arch your back into him. He presses his face to your chest, scenting you and he works you open. His mouth continuing to babble “ fuck I love you, I love you. I need you, I need you. I need you. I want you, every second of every day I want you. I want my cock in you. I want to hang off of you. I want to live inside your skin I can’t get enough of you. If I could I would live the rest of my life buried inside of you. Fucking and filling you until we both are unable to tell where we are. I need you, I love you. I want to worship you.”

He presses another finger into you and your fingers curl and bite into his shoulder. He dosent need anymore to start pumping them inside you. Taking them out only to spread your slick up to your clit before pressing his palm to it. You kick your head back like you’re seeing stars.

“Don’t make me come. Don’t make me come. Get me to the edge and then stop.” You beg as he pulls the pleasure out of you. “ I wanna come with you in me. Please please please.”

He nods taking hold of one of your hands and leading it down to where he’s wet and wanting. You press your fingers into him and he moans loud and wounded. His eyes fluttering closed as he bites into your shoulder once more. The both of you fucking onto each others hands. Leo biting you harder when you feel your climax coming sooner the. You would like. Letting out a sob when he removes his hand. kissing your cheeks apologetically. His voice almost as wounded as yours as he speaks. “ you said you wanted to come on my cock remember, forgive me. Mi preciosa, not yet not yet.”

you fuck your fingers into him harder as pay back. Technically yes he’s doing what you wanted but still, the infuriation of you being denied your pleasure when you are all but begging for him makes you want to be a little mean. Not that Leo is in anyway complaining. He rolls the both of you so you’re in top of him. Giving you a better angle to finger fuck him. He’s close. You can tell with the way he quivers against your hand. His cock head kiss your fingers from where they are pressed deep inside him. He holds your hips like he dose when you ride him. God you want to ride him stupid.

“come on baby, drop for me. Drop for me. I know you want it. I know you need it. You can do it. You are being so good for me. Such a good boy.” He makes a wounded noise at your praise before dropping. Your hand taking hold of him as you lean down and kiss his cock pressing it to your cheek. Leo moans at the sight.

“Fuck me, Hermosa, please, please, fuck me.” He begs as you press on more kiss to him before sheathing him inside. The way he stretches you out will never feel out of place. You love how his cock feels like it was made for you to take. And with the way Leo’s eyes roll to the back of his head every time you allow him the honer to press inside. You feel like he agrees.

still a bit miffed that you were denied your orgasm you start to ride him almost immediately. Not giving either of you time to adjust. Leo’s hands pressing into you in a way that you know will leave pretty bruises behind. More reminders that he wants and claims you as his.

“Hermosa, hermosa, hermosa.” Hé keens out his mouth open and continuing to babble on. “I’m gonna come amore, I’m gonna come slow down. I’m gonna come.” You barel passed his pleas for you to slow down. You are too focused on your own pleasure to care, you fuck him through his orgasm. Hot threads filling you and dripping on to his cloaca and cock as you continue to fuck him. Making him immediately hard again. He teeters on the edge broken hiccuping sobs leaving him as he looks up at you with complete adoration for what you are doing to him.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” He repeats. “I’m gonna come again, I’m gonna come again forgive me, forgive me.”

“come for me baby. Make me proud come for me again.” You say nuzzling into his neck. He dose. More hot threads of come fill you up right as you hit your own climax. Clenching around him taking everything. God you want his baby’s. God you want it to stick. You clench around him again at the thought and he praises you through it.

“good job Hermosa. That’s it, come on me, that’s it’s thank you, fuck thank you. You feel so good. So good. Good job.”

you both breath there for a moment. The two of you spent. Leo leans up and kisses you. Passionate and fiercely. Like he has ent already shown how much adoration he has for you already.

“Again?” You whimper against him when he dares to part his mouth from yours.

“I love you, mi amor”

(-stranger)

Oh my g od

[daddyplasmius]

hand on my stupid heart flashbacks

this is a No One Knows AU & Full Hazmat AU where Danny ended up in the Ghost Zone & didn't go back into the human world initially because he thought he was dead. by the time he realized he is, in fact, at least half alive, he'd already been missing for at least 2 weeks. will probs never finish homsh sorry. i wrote this a couple years ago in a haze & just haven't been able to finish it because i can't replicate the style, which i find is what i love about this fic the most. it wouldn't be the same without it. posting the flashback introsーwhich are meant to be read between chapters/the actual plot, starting after chapter 1ーcuz fuck it. excuse typos & shit, i never properly edited it, as i forgot it existed immediately after i wrote it original description of homsh: Danny Fenton has officially been missing for over a year. Maddie & Jack Fenton refuse to give up on their son. Sick and tired of the police running them in circles, and the case getting colder by the day, the Fentons turn to their last resortーPhantom. 800~ words (full unfinished fic is 20k~)

-

When Danny woke up surrounded by thick, green fog, and couldn’t breathe without swallowing heavy air that was more like water than anything, he was sure he was dead. The portal glowed behind him, illuminating the pitch darkness around him in soft, yellow, warm light.

He almost went back.

Almost.

He was dead. His parents were ghost hunters. They had drilled into his head from the moment he was born that he could never, ever panic in death. That he would accept it. That he would not be scared. So he would be prepared to be brave in the face of death and would not become a ghost.

He panicked. He did not accept it. He was terrified. And so he woke up in the Ghost Zone.

-

Danny went back through the portal when he saw some ectopuses acting… strange. Like they had an idea in their heads. Like they had a plan.

Which was weird, with animal ghosts. He had only been in the Ghost Zoneーmom and dad called it that, he rememberedーfor a couple weeks. Or, he had already been there for two weeks. Or maybe time worked differently and he was there five minutes, or four years orー

The ectopuses went through the portal and, despite everything, Danny went after them.

While he was busy reeling at being home, the ectopuses immediately attacked dad. Danny was horrified. Jack was overwhelmed. Danny stepped in, in a moment fueled by sheer adrenaline and stupidity, snatching a Fenton Thermos™ off a shelf and releasing his shaky invisibility. The ectopuses didn’t stand a chance. And when they were safely in the Thermos, he slowly turned around to dad, ready for the confrontation. Ready for the “what happened to you?” and the “where have you been?” and the “we’ve missed you”.

Dad scrambled to shoot at him.

Danny fled.

His parents didn’t recognize him.

-

The Lunch Lady attacked when Danny was mourning Halloween.

He’d waited all year. He made a costume that summer. He wouldn’t get to go trick or treating with Sam and Tucker this year. Or any year. For the rest of his lifeーor existence. Whatever.

The Lunch Lady appeared in the school and demanded in straight fury, “Who changed the menu?”

Everyone pointed at Sam.

Danny hadn’t known just how powerful ghosts could be. His parents never told him the specifics. Just that they were dangerous.

This ghost grew and her aura hit him like a hurricane, almost physically pushing him back. It was so strong that the students in the Casper High cafeteria seemed to feel it too.

The Lunch Lady was a much harder opponent than the ectopuses. She levitated meat. She used it as a weapon, and seemed to bring it back to life. She created weird meat creatures that grew sharp teeth and claws out of bones. They were mindless, attacking everything that got too close to the ghost. Danny would have run away without hesitation, if Sam hadn’t been in the crossfire.

Danny fought the Lunch Lady. It was a long struggle, but he caught her in the thermos after over an hour. When he turned to Sam and Tuckerーboth of whom he had to save due to Tucker trying to jump into the fightーall three of them bloody and bruised, he cringed. But a part of him hoped. Desperately.

Surely they would know him on sight.

“Wh-what are you?” Sam gasped at him finally.

Danny flinched as if she had struck him. “J-just… your friendly neighbourhood phantom.”

-

Danny didn’t know what possessed him. Oh. Pun not intended.

He just barely caught the Fentons leaving in the GAV, dragging suitcases behind them. He couldn’t help himself. What on Earth were they doing?

They were going to Vlad Master’s mansion for their college reunion.

It was a whole thing. But something was off. Besides all the adults reminiscing about the 80’s.

Danny sensed ghosts immediately but he couldn’t see anything. Unfortunately for him, Vlad could also sense him. It was two days of Danny staying invisible, and Vladーthe halfa? Is that what Danny is?ーtrying to kill Jack. Somehow, Danny managed to fight off Vlad, not turn back, and without the Fentons getting hurt. His secret intact.

VladーPlasmius, also learned about Phantom. And Vlad hated him. The manーghostーwhatever, seemed to only care about one thingーpossession. Of money. Of things. Of people. He was more ghost than Danny had ever seen. Vlad’s obsession was overwhelming.

Danny couldn’t believe someone so much like himself could be so disturbing.

[hedgehog-moss]

Look, friends.

Do you think this is a post about my adorable baby succulents? No. Look harder.

It's about the GIANT HOLE IN MY FENCE that I had to patch up with cardboard.

I can't blame Pampérigouste for this one; the brutish nature of the damage is not consistent with her usual modus operandi. Pampe outsmarts locks like Arsène Lupin; she doesn't charge at fences like a bull who saw a red cloth. This is Pampe Pondering A Fence Problem:

No, the damage to my fence looked a lot more mindless this time. Boorish. Boar-ish. I'm blaming a boar. A deer would have destroyed the whole thing rather than just the lower half. Note that there is not a single tuft of llama wool on the damaged wire mesh.

(Note no.2: the boar's smile was originally meant to be a tusk but it really just looks like a sardonic smile)

I brought some chicken wire to patch up the hole—but there wasn't enough of it. Then it started raining and I felt persecuted and decided to just cover the hole with cardboard and go have my morning coffee and get back to this later.

This is not an Innocent Pampe post; there is no such thing. My temporary cardboard solution lasted 8 to 10 minutes. I'm not sure exactly when she got out, but by the time I went back outside to repair the fence there was a Pampe-shaped hole in the cardboard.

(Not really; she just kind of lifted or ate a corner then wormed her way through the very small opening. I think.) (See, this is how you recognise a Pampe escape: you're not entirely clear on what went down, you just know there was a llama inside and now there is a llama outside.)

It was still raining and I didn't feel like going after her, plus it felt pointless to bring her back in her pasture before the fence was repaired, so I went in the barn to look for my tools and rummage through leftover pieces of previously-destroyed fences, hoping to find something the right size.

Then I heard Pampelune's hyena shriek, aka the llama alarm call. It was followed by:

horrified chicken screams and frantic feather noises; the soundtrack of a violent fox attack

infuriated barking from Pandolf

very loud panicked braying from Pirlouit

basically, chaos.

I ran outside just in time to see Pampe emerging from the woods at a full gallop, pursued by a bear. I didn't immediately identify the animal that was chasing her as the giant dog that he was, because he was running with a weird gait, with his legs going everywhere like he was frolicking at top speed (I now know that this dog is a puppy that has learnt to run just a few months ago, but that didn't occur to me at the time because this puppy is the size of a calf.)

Pampe was running towards the cardboard through which she had escaped and she managed to squeeze through her small corner hole again (I assume—there were trees blocking my line of sight and I only saw her again once she was in the pasture, running for her life along with the other 2 llamas + donkey.) Meanwhile, the dog didn't see the corner hole and tried to power through the cardboard much like a boar, or was carried away by his momentum and didn't brake in time; I don't know. In any case, when I reached him, he was stuck.

My large piece of cardboard was tied to the fence posts and still holding strong, but the middle was a bit soggy with rain and not too solid, so the dog's head went right through it. The rest of his body didn't.

He could have probably finished breaking the cardboard quite easily, but for some reason he instantly gave up. On life. By the time I got there the dog was half-in and half-out of the pasture and he looked defeated. Which made my piece of cardboard look like a mediaeval beheading apparatus with just a hole for the head.

I went to lock an angry Pandolf in the barn and checked on the chickens along the way (ruffled & offended but fine); I was hoping the dog would figure out how to extricate his head from the cardboard in the meantime. He did not. I tried to call him in a friendly tone (from behind) to encourage him to free his head by stepping back, but the concept of taking a couple of steps backwards in order to extract his head from the hole might as well have been advanced engineering. He clearly had no idea where his head was, where his body was, how to make the two a coherent whole again, and he started whining pitifully.

I untied the rope I had used to attach the cardboard to the fence posts, then wriggled the piece of cardboard a bit to try and free the dog's head. The dog was alarmed by the wriggling and took several steps back—but I didn't manage to hold on to the cardboard so it just moved with the dog. He clumsily ran away, taking the cardboard with him, wearing it around his neck like the world's largest cone of shame.

He immediately got stuck between two trees.

I was starting to find the situation hilarious, but the poor dog did not—he lay down and started making sad broken noises like a malfunctioning dog-robot. He didn't look very threatening but he was still a very big (and stressed) dog so I felt a bit wary of touching his head to help him, and decided to run home to get a box cutter. I figured I could easily rid him of most of the cardboard and leave him with just a soggy cardboard collar that would soon fall apart. I heard my landline phone ringing from afar and ran faster, and it was one of my nearest neighbours, the retired lady who lives on the plateau.

"I've been trying to reach you!! I saw your llama in my garden earlier, I was going to give her a little treat—" (she loves Pampe, for some reason) "—but then my dog saw her too."

I know this woman's dog—he's a tiny thing with fragile nerves who thinks the whole world is out to get him, so I asked anxiously, "Did Pampe scare your dog?" and she said "Oh no! Domino is here with me; but I have a new dog. His name is Texas."

I thought of the gigantic puppy currently sobbing in my woods, held prisoner by two trees, a self-inflicted cone of shame and his total lack of reasoning skills.

"Yes", I said. "I've met Texas."

The old lady asked worriedly if he'd scared Pampe ("Il est un peu zinzin" she said—he's a bit crazy. "I wanted to call him Rex, but then I met him and thought—Texas!!") I told her I was pleased with her dog for scaring Pampe, because she needs to learn that her pasture is her only hope for safety in this cold uncaring world and as soon as she steps out of it she returns to her lowly status as a prey animal. Then I ended the phone call because I was worried both about Texas and about the large hole in my fence. Thankfully all my animals were still terrified and hiding far, far away from Texas.

Texas actually managed to free himself before I attempted to cut the cardboard, but he still thought of me as his saviour and was very happy to follow me through the woods back to his owner's place. Before we left I propped up the cardboard against the damaged fence, and despite the hole in the middle no llamas escaped in my absence; I think the whole area still smelled like Texas and fear.

I'll admit I was initially tempted to leave Texas with his head stuck in the cardboard in a more permanent capacity in order to patch the hole in my fence with this amazing anti-Pampe Cerberus. Like this

(I know this artistic rendering makes my llamas look like frightened carrots and my donkey like a bunny but I will not be taking constructive criticism at this time)

[theorphicangel]

“𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬?” | 𝐌𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

synopsis: you have a valentine’s date tomorrow and you’re somewhat excited for it. but there’s just one thing you’re unsure about…thankfully your trusted roommate can help. right?

tags: roommate au! (Here we go again), smut, 18+, male masturbation, mutual pining, these mfs are in DENIAL smh, angsty ishhhh

taglist: @ghost-lantern @mreowmoreww @maomaimao @ahano

PART TWO. (click here for part one.)

“I think you’re lying to me.”

Miguel glances up at you from the dining table that he’s sitting at, currently eating a bowl of cereal. You’re standing opposite him, buttering a seemingly burnt piece of toast.

“Hmm?”

“I think you’re lying to me about not having a valentine’s date.”

Miguel’s eyes move back down to stare at his bowl, spoon mindlessly poking at the cereal but he’s not eating. He pauses for a few seconds, thinking over your words.

“What makes you think that?”

“You?” You point at him with your butter knife. “The Miguel O’Hara, the well-known ladies’ man has not one date tonight? Not a single one out of the countless ladies that he’s been with? Suspicious.”

“Looks like it.” he mumbles. You notice that his tone is dry. Refusing to play along with your teasing.

“See, I don’t believe it. Something’s up, you’re acting…weird.”

It’s ironic you say that. You have no right to judge him on his behavior. After all, you did suck him off on the couch last night. This morning, neither of you had made an attempt to discuss what had happened last night. You acted as if nothing had happened between the two of you, as if you had just gone to bed for an early night.

As for Miguel, it was a whole different story. Unbeknownst to you, he didn’t get any sleep that night. Tossing and turning, his cock aching at the thought of you. Each and every time that he tried to close his eyes, all he could picture was you between his thighs.

It was that look. That look you had in your eye, it was full of hunger and desire. It was a look that proudly told him that all you had wanted to do was to make him feel good.

Reminiscing on this, guilt ran through his bloodstream like poison, questions running through his mind.

Why didn’t he ask you to be his valentine’s sooner? Why didn’t he confess there and then? Why did he have to wait so long to make a move? Do you feel the same as him? Do you feel as if your soul is eating you from the inside out, tempting you to confess how you really feel? If he did confess, would you have canceled all your plans for him? Or would you act like how you’re acting now, pretending that nothing happened?

“I’m not being weird. I’m tired.” He mumbles, still poking at his cereal. In his mind he can already hear the voice of his mother berating him for it.

“Right.” you say, unable to think of anything more to say. Normally, it’s easier than this to start off playful banter between the two of you but you can sense Miguel’s energy was off.

This was almost reminiscent of your earlier days after moving in. How you both exchanged awkwardness and empty conversations that resulted from who's turn it was to take out the trash and the weather forecast.

You figure that perhaps Valentine's Day wasn't the best day for him, assuming that his behavior is the result of something else that happened. You decide to keep your pondering questions to yourself, instead finishing your breakfast in silence. You scroll mindlessly on your phone, seeing multiple posts of friends already waking up to cute valentine gifts and what not.

Audibly, you let out a sigh, wondering if your date – whom you may come across at work– has anything planned for you this morning.

You glance over at Miguel who continues to stare down at his bowl, the obnoxious sound of milk falling off his spoon fills the silence.

Anxiety builds up in your stomach about last night. Was it wrong to ask him to help you? Perhaps he regrets what happened, suddenly wishing he’d never agree to it. Your negative thoughts continue to build up inside you, suddenly taking away your appetite.

You thought last night was…good. Great, even. It had given you confidence for tonight.

if anything was to happen tonight.

Was last night helpful? Most definitely.

Did it spark something in you that you’ve tried to keep buried since the very moment you moved into the apartment? Sure.

Did you want to do it again? Hell yes.

But the question is, does he feel the same?

You take in his demeanor, his low mood and refusal to look up at you. Maybe he hates you so much that he can’t bear to stand you after last night. This brutal assumption was all you needed to get yourself to snap back into reality.

Before disappearing to get changed for work, you take one last glance at Miguel, who continues to ignore you. By the time you step out of your room to leave the apartment for work you find the kitchen empty.

You find a single bowl of cereal on the table that remains unfinished.

/

Exhausted, miguel steps into the apartment. He thinks it’s nearing 6pm by the time he arrives, taking a little longer than usual to return.

As soon as he shuts the door behind him he can hear your voice calling for him; a personal singsong just for him bouncing off the walls. After locking the door, he turns to hang up his coat before bending down to remove his shoes.

By the time he looks up again, you’re suddenly standing in front of him and for a second it feels like his breath is knocked out of his lungs.

And there you were. Stood in front of him with a cheesy smile across your lips, wearing a dress he’s never seen before. You tilt your head to one side, awkwardly fiddling with your hands as Miguel stares you down.

“Do you think it’s a little too much?”

You move your body a little, providing different angles of the dress. Immediately Miguel’s eyes are drawn to the way that your curves hug at the dress. His eyes are latched onto you, unblinking. As he stands in silence your mind turns into panic, taking it as a negative reaction. Maybe it’s not the right dress.

Your disappointment is more than obvious as you start to turn, heading back to your bedroom where a pile of clothes await your return. “You’re right, I think I should–”

“Perfect.”

Finally, the words leave his throat.

If the words ‘Will you be my Valentine?’ won’t fall from his lips then he makes sure that you’re able to hear this at least.

“It’s perfect.” He repeats, a little louder now. His body forces himself to blink now, eyes stinging at the image of you.

“Are you sure?” Your tone is apprehensive, unable to see the positive correlation between his reaction with his words. “Because I think I have a better dress–”

“No.” Miguel swallows thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “I like this one, it looks good. Perfect.”

He likes it.

Relief crashes over you, all doubt washed away. His external validation was the only thing you needed.

“Really?”

Miguel’s patience was wearing thin at your disbelief, it took everything in him not to run up to you and mark you as his. It took everything in him not to run his hands all over your body, to ingest every feature, to worship it, to make love to it and provide you everything you had ever wanted.

God, he wanted nothing more but to prove to you that, yes, you looked fucking gorgeous, stunning even. If there was a moment where he wanted to kick himself in the balls for not asking you out sooner, the moment would be now.

“Really. Don’t change.”

He can’t tell whether this final validation was all you needed or whether his tone was finally believable to you but either way he’s satisfied that he has finally gotten through to you as a smile reaches for your lips.

“Thanks mig’. ” you mutter quickly, turning from him as fast as you could to hide the heat that now spread rapidly across your face. You say nothing more, disappearing as quickly as you had appeared, leaving him in a wondrous state.

/

“Think you’ll be okay?”

You don’t look up at him, too busy replying back to a message. He watches as your thumbs move across the small screen at lighting speed. “Yeah, yeah, he’s nearly here.” you mumble quietly. Unfortunately, you’re too preoccupied to notice the look of apprehension on Miguel’s face.

There’s something that gnaws at him completely. From the inside, just begging to be let out. He doesn’t know whether it’s a confession, his jealousy or anger at himself. He assumes that this feeling is a mix of all three.

He can tell that you're nervous, teeth softly biting down on your bottom lip, heels tapping the floor with impatience. If you weren’t holding your phone with two hands, he’d bet that you’d be biting at your nails. It takes everything in him not to grab you by the shoulders, forcing you to look at him and take a few deep breaths.

Soon enough, a ding is heard from your phone and he watches how your face lights up. All he can do is stand awkwardly as you tell him your date is here to pick you up. Miguel watches you as you make your way to the door, double checking your purse for anything that you may have forgotten.

A wish of ‘good luck’ dies in Miguel’s throat as you slip through the door, leaving him with nothing more than an echoed goodbye.

The second he hears the door lock behind you, a sigh seems to leave his lips. He can smell the lingering scent of a perfume that he had bought for you as a christmas present, a new favorite that you only wore on special occasions.

Silence now begins to torment him, his mind is jumping to conclusions. What if this one date will lead to a second date and then a third and then a tenth? Until eventually the day comes, when you announce that you’ll be moving out.

He’ll be left on his own, again.

And all that follows are bland text messages from you every now and again, checking up on him as a friend whilst he falls back into the shadows, forever stuck with the label of ‘roommate’.

The deafening silence continues to torture him, thoughts emerging to the idea of your date becoming the love of your life. It's completely stupid and useless to jump to this assumption but he can’t help it. He can’t help but tyrannize himself, his insecurity eating away his insides like vermin.

“Fuckin’ hell, you need to get yourself together.” He pinches the bridge of his nose, making his way over to the couch. He collapses with exhaustion, a groan leaving his body as he does so.

It takes him more than a few minutes to realize that he’s sitting in the same spot as last night. The only difference being is that there’s no pretty girl sitting between his thighs, eyes glowing at him with lust and desire. This single thought is enough to make him hard.

A curse or two is muttered under his breath as an uncontrollable bulge begins to grow in his pants. He really shouldn’t. But he does.

His fingertips run over his crotch as he reminisces about last night: the innocent look on your face, your shock at how big his cock was, your attempt to take him whole, desperately trying to fit him into that pretty little mouth of yours, and by god, it took everything in him not to keep you down there.

But that look, that glow almost dared him to. Your eyes silently expressed that this was all for him. Miguel lets out a groan, finally giving in to his needs, a hand slipping into his pants to free his aching cock from his boxers.

He gives slow, long strokes imitating what you had done yesterday. A quiet whimper leaves his throat, his thumb wiping away at the pre-cum at the crown of his length. He remembers the way his body shudders as you left tantalizing little circles at the tip of his cock, practically torturing him.

His thoughts drastically change from imagining your mouth teasing his cock to how he would tease your dripping cunt. He imagines how soaked you would be for him and wonders whether you were like this yesterday, when you were sucking him off, completely soaked through your panties.

Miguel lets out a groan at the mere thought, his hand now increasing the pace of his strokes. You’d be so tight, he thinks, so tight that your eyes would tear up at your cunt trying to take him whole. His cock would stuff every inch of you, your cunt clenching around him, your little whines persuading him to go deeper, trying to prove that you can take it all.

He wraps a tight fist around himself, pumping himself a little faster now, his breath hitched. His free hand grips at a pillow beside him, imagining that he was taking handfuls of your ass as he buried himself deeper into you. He’d start off slow, let you get adjusted to his size before building up a merciless pace.

Miguel imagines your body writhing beneath him, fingertips scratching at his back as he pleases you. Miguel begins to feel heat in his lower abdomen, his eyes are closed and brows are furrowed as he tries to focus on pornographic images of you in his mind. He imagines your whimpers, babbling to him about how good it feels. That’s all he wanted to do. Make you feel good.

“Please, please, please– fuck, don’t stop.”

Miguel’s thighs begin to tense, hips jerking slightly as he fists his cock. It feels too good to stop. It’s wrong but he can’t stop your name from escaping from his lips. He surrenders to the feelings of pleasure and complete euphoria. He feels the cord in his lower abdomen begin to snap away, desperate pleads echo off the walls as he cums, his seed spilling across his hand and lower abdomen.

Coming down from his climax, the realization of what he’s done crashes over him like a wave and suddenly he finds himself violently drowning. Drowning in a sea of his thoughts and his mistakes. Cruelly, he reminds himself that he can’t be saved and that he deserves to be alone. After all…

he has no one to blame but himself.

click here for part 3

[readychilledwine]

Size Kink

✨️Kink Education with Elizabeth✨️

A Size Kink is a general term for being aroused by being smaller/larger than your partner. It can be height, muscle mass/weight in general, cock size, ect. This is generally a kink we associate with subs having, but in my humble 5'1" experience, I've met more Doms with this kink than subs (hence my 5'11" baby daddy who thought he'd never have someone short enough to enjoy this kink with.) This kink has several subgroups that fall into it and sex acts that fall into it, but my personal favorite to write is height difference and body frame difference. So tall muscular male, short female (curvy or lean.)

What I love about size kinks is that it's so focused on specific aspects, and ANY body type gets to play with it. Little hands? Little legs? Luscious curves? Member of the Itty bitty titty committee? There is someone out there with a size Kink who is into your body and thinks you are a piece of artwork and sexiest thing on the planet. It's so beautiful because it is a body type kink that does not discriminate, and as a sex positive and body image positive person, I think that's super important and comforting for some people.

💕Peep the Valentines Day list here💕

As always NSFW below the cut

Azriel x short!reader

Warnings - reader is VERY petite, smut, p in v, slow stretching

A/N - So, I actually have a request for a size Kink with Cassian sitting in my drafts as well from before I decided to do Valentines Day Bingo. Since I picture Cassian as an absolute unit, I used a more Megan thee Stallion vibe for that reader (tall and thick) so I decided to go very short and thinner built for this one to ensure they'd be different. I apologize if that bothers anyone. I will try to get that Cassian request finished asap to post it and make up for this 💙

Ps- with how quickly I am cranking some of these out, and how.... spicy some of them are getting, I don't have my normal outside editing all of the time. Baby daddy proof read this one. Before staring at me and going, "that wasn't fair." So, I apologize for any errors, as always, I will catch them on my fresh reread after it's posted 🫠

Azriel was slowly losing his mind as he watched you use a chair to be closer to Cassian's height and argue with him face to face.

You were just so… small. So little compared to the two Illyrian males. They towered over you. They dwarfed you. Hell, he and Cass had discussed several times how easy you'd be to manhandle, considering they were both so sure their large hands could almost touch if they were wrapped around your waist.

At 6’8” and 7’ it wasn't hard for him and Cassian to own a room or be the tallest males, but Gods when Azriel stood next to your 5’ frame, when he saw Cassian pick you up like you were no more than a doll. It did something to him. It made him feel like a God, like he was powerful, possibly invincible.

He had been further spurred on by over hearing you and Nesta yesterday. She had asked you about how, if the opportunity presented itself, you would manage to fuck an Illyrian, and you, you with your never back down attitude had told Ness, “Mountains were made to be climbed.” He did not know if you had meant that in regards to him, but his hand found his cock quickly that night.

Azriel walked over to where you and Cassian argued over cereal. The fight wasn't serious, but he just needed to remind you that even with a chair below you, you still fell a few inches short.

“Get down before you fall and hurt yourself, angel.” He put a hand to you, offering to help you down. You glared, but put your hand in his.

Offering to help you was a mistake.

He felt the blood rushing to his cock as your little hand sat in his.

He shared a knowing look with Cassian when you looked away to step down and get back on the floor. The argument resumed instantly, your hand still in his.

It stopped as soon as Nesta walked in. Her mate and you going silent and agreeing to disagree.

Well, at least you thought you had agreed. Until Cassian turned around, Nesta in his arms waiting to fly into Velaris. He looked between you and Azriel before smirking. “You know, y/n, you might have shit taste in cereal, but at least you're the perfect height for some things.”

You didn't get it until you turned to Azriel, plush lips parted to ask what Cassian meant.

The blush that spread your cheeks was sinful.

Another image Azriel would save when he imagined it was your mouth around his cock tonight.

Azriel's room was across the hall from yours, so he knew you were being subjected to the same torture he was.

He was sure all of the Night Court could hear Cassian and Nesta. He rolled over to his back, throwing an arm over his face and sighing.

You were so small, so sneaky, he hadn't noticed you come in and shut the door until you were sitting on his bed.

And fuck being in his custom made oversized bed made you look so little. “Hello angel.”

He made room for you, welcoming you under the blanket you laid facing him, watching him. “Do you all never.. get worn out?” He chuckled. “Because humans do. Males typically finish, then they're like, done, and asleep.”

He looked towards you, laughing and smiling so hard his dimples were showing. “Is that your way of telling me you didn't enjoy rolling in the sheets while you were human?”

That blush spread your face again. “I had plenty of fun before Hybern did this to me. Thank you very much, sir.”

You had done it. Azriel shut his eyes, growling at the nickname as he did. “You cannot call me that when you're laying in my bed, y/n.”

You looked at him, snuggling closer to him. You knew what you were doing to him. You had known for a while. You always tracked his eyes when he'd watch you take your heels off, biting his lip thinking no one was looking. You noticed him hide his arousal behind a mask of indifference when you would climb things around the House of Wind. You had also noticed Azriel and Cassian taking every chance they could to lift you.

You had even know Azriel was so sneakily listening to you and Nesta the other day, and you had meant it. Azriel was a mountain you intended on climbing. “Of course, sir. Wouldn't want you to have to use those big hands to keep me quiet.”

The growl that echoed through the room had your thighs clenching. He was on you in an instant arm between your breasts, so it rested on your neck. The other hand sat on your hip, inching forward. “Do not tease me.” You could feel him pressed against your back, mind immediately lost in how that would fit.

You may have been biting off more than you could chew.

But fuck it.

You had never backed down from a challenge. Why start now?

You wiggled further into him, grazing his cock with each movement. “What if I'm not teasing? What if this is an offer, sir?”

“You're going to regret that, little one,” Azriel's hand immediately was in your shorts, his other hand squeezing your throat. A thick finger ran your soaked core, pulling a moan from you. “Going to have to go slow,” Azriel ground his hips into you, needing that friction on his aching cock. “Don't want to hurt you, angel.”

That one finger entered you without warning. It was already a stretch, but one you welcomed.

You loved how everything about Azriel was so big. His hands, his muscled chest and arms, his wings. Of course he'd be big there too. Anticipation began to replace the fear. You relaxed into him, tilting your head and pulling him into a heated sloppy kiss.

Azriel swallowed your moans and cries as his finger opened you up for him. You were tight, so damn tight. His hand moved from your throat to your breasts, loving how they weren't even a handful for him. You were so petite and slim, he reminded himself. He pulled your tank top off, maneuvering the best he could to get you fully below him. He pushed in a second finger, watching as you squirmed so helplessly below him. “So fucking little,” he moaned. “Mother above you're perfect. Just perfect.”

He leaned back, fingers increasing speed the best they could with your shorts in the way while he toyed with your breasts, pinching your nipples and smacking the tender flesh as he saw fit. “Cum for me so I can sit you on my cock, angel. You can do it, y/n. Show me how tight you'll be squeezing around me.”

You felt like you were floating as you came, whimpering Azriel's name as you watched him rut against the mattress for some friction, hazel eyes damn near lost in lust.

He pulled his fingers out of you, wasting no time ripping his sweatpants off and using those juices to coat himself. Your shorts came next, torn to shreds as he pulled you to the edge of the mattress and rested one leg on both sides of his chest.

He was as perfect as you imagined. His cock was long and thick. He was running it along your folds, soaking up at the slick he could before smacking the head of it against your clit.

Azriel could help but to stand with his hips flush against yours, admiring how it looked like his cock would be damn near in your stomach. “Gonna go slow,” he mumbled as he positioned himself at your entrance. “Can't risk hurting my little angel.”

He pushed the head in, keeping an eye on you as you moaned out a long fuck before relaxing into his bed. He sat there, only a few inches inside of you, feeling as your walls stretched out to accommodate him.

He pulled out and slowly reentered, pushing a little more inside of you. Your back arched off the bed, a whimper of pleasure ripping through your throat. The burn of it felt so good. You felt yourself drooling already, mind numb, and lost to anything that wasn't Azriel.

He continued his motions over and over until he was flush against your hips, and you were screaming for him. You had cum just from him slowly getting inside of you, and now he could see the bulge he had created, the slight swelling inside of you as your body made room for him.

Azriel put a hand on the bulge, feeling himself inside of you as he began thrusting. You were squeezing him so tight, hand struggling to find him to hold on to something.

He felt himself losing control, pace growing faster and faster as he watched you squirming and moaning below him. His arms went behind your hips and back, lifting you off the bed and manhandling you in the air for a little while. He brought you to his chest, moving you to be against the wall that shared his room and Cassian's.

A silent brag, and message, that he could now accurrately inform Cassian how easy you were to toss around like a doll.

Your hands found purchase on his shoulders as you became a babbling mess. Your silky core was twitching and tightening around him all over again, indicating to him how close you were, how ready you were. “Az,” you panted. “So fucking big.”

“Yeah,” he kissed the top of your head. “Bet it feels so good stretching you out, doesn't it, baby?” You couldn't respond as a certain angle had you becoming pliant in his arms. “Fuck I know it does.” He was practically lifting you on and off of him, watching as you stretched around his cock. “You're close, aren't you, angel?”

You nodded, eyes glazed over and jaw fallen open to the perfect o. “Gonna cum.”

“Then cum. Squeeze my cock. You wanted to climb the mountain, right y/n? Fucking climb.”

You hit that peak on his command again, clinging to him tightly as he continued using you and stretching you out.

It took Azriel a few more moments, but he stilled inside of you, head thrown back in a loud growl as he came inside of you. He pressed you back against the wall, panting slightly as he stared into your eyes. He lifted you easily, allowing his cock to fall out of you and you to whine at the sudden emptiness that took place where he had filled you.

“This can't be a one-time thing,” his voice was almost desperate as he moved to set you on the desk, forehead finding yours. “I need more of you. All of you.”

You couldn't help but to bit your lip, nodding so quickly with a growing smile. “I like how little you make me feel. How safe you make me feel.”

Azriel's eyes almost rolled back completely as they shut. “Gods you are perfect.” He leaned in to kiss you, only to be interrupted by his door slamming open and Cassian and Nesta barging in.

A massive wing snapped between you and them, blocking your body from their view.

Cassian cleared his throat before speaking. “We want to know how exactly that worked. Show us. Please.”

“Show you?!” Your voice cracked as you turned to a smirking Azriel.

Azriel kissed your forehead. “Bend over the desk, angel. Gotta give him a show since he asked so nicely.”

General tag list:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanager @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho

@mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth

Valentines Day Taglist:

@sfhsgrad-blog @amara-moonlight @eternallyelvish @novaksangel @teenageeggscissorslawyer @thisblogisaboutabook @amygdtjhddzvb  

@justasillylittlegoofyguy

Azriel Taglist:

@elle4404

[muchosbesitos]

not my car!

pairing: miguel o’hara x fem reader

contents: reader gets angry with spider-man, male masturbation

author’s note: i wasn’t planning on making a valentine’s day post (just because i’m a big hater LOL) but i decided to mix these two together, hope y’all enjoy <3

word count: 4.7k

Valentine's Day.

What was supposed to be a day dedicated towards expressing your love towards your friends and others was a day that you'd be stuck at work. Not the holiday had really made a difference towards you, all of it just seeming like a capitalistic ploy to get people to spend more money just to prove who loves each other the most. Or at least that's what you told yourself at the lack of a Valentine once more this year. While it wasn't out the norm for you to spend it alone, you couldn't help but feel disappointed at the reminder of another year without achieving that relationship status.

But despite the fact that you weren't technically anyone's Valentine, you'd still managed to get a date for tonight. You'd joined a dating app in hopes to find a date before tonight months ago, without actually having much luck until a couple days ago. All the men that you'd swiped on were either interested in something completely different from what you were looking for or they were just complete assholes. You'd been talking to a moderately good looking guy with biceps that looked like they could choke you for a while, the two of you making plans to go out tonight before he got caught up in work again. Despite the fact that he was more sarcastic with his sense of humor, you couldn't help but enjoy every joke exchanged and every conversation you two held.

You'd gotten so caught up in the thought of how the date would go tonight, already planning out what outfit you'd be wearing and what type of makeup you'd like to try that you hadn't realized you were starting to run late for work. You quickly finished with getting dressed, making sure to button up your shirt correctly before making your way out of your apartment. "Buenos dias, mija," your elderly neighbor called out, sweeping the floor outside. (good morning) "Buenos dias, señora," you responded back, giving her a small wave once you finished locking up your door. While you usually made it a point to try and have conversation with her, you were already in a rush to get to work on time.

"Come on, baby. Don't fail me now," you pleaded with your car, turning the key on the ignition only to receive a mocking sputter in n response. You took the key out, counting in your head up to three seconds before sticking it back in. You'd gotten used to these little kinks and tricks in the car, learning to adapt quickly to its ways to save yourself some money. Whether it be smacking the dashboard to get it to turn on or simply taking the key out, you were determined on riding the car until it's last minute. You assured yourself that your car was still fine despite the noises that it made while it was driving, almost like every piece of metal inside of it was loose.

And while the car wasn't much, it was one of the few things that you'd be able to claim that belonged to you after you finished paying it off. Your wage had made it difficult to manage living alone with an apartment but it was achievable if you cut back on the amount of expenses that you had. You were simply surviving up at this point, making sure that you weren't spending more than the basic necessities to stay alive so you'd have enough money to be just above the debt line. But while everything else in your life was rented, the car was the one thing that you could be able to claim as your own. Well, after you finished paying it off at the end at the year.

You let out a small groan as you saw that someone else had taken your undesignated designated parking spot. While the parking spots didn't belong to anyone particularly, everyone seemed to have a silent understanding not to infringe on other's spots. You looked around to see if a spot was available before reluctantly pulling out of the workers' parking lot, deciding to just park it out on the street for the day. You opted to park in the back so you wouldn't have to walk the distance, unable to go in through the front door. You went through the motions of clocking in, washing your hands and sanitizing them before making your way over to the counter.

"What can I get for you?" Your voice came out tired as you spoke, the only thought on your mind being what time you would get out of work. "Some service with a smile would be nice," the person retorted, your eyes almost rolling to the back of your head. You definitely didn't get paid enough for this shit. You repeated the same question back to them, forcing an unnatural smile to make its way to your face as you waited for their response. "I'll just get a small diet coke," they finally responded, inserting their card into the chip reader. You had half the mind to throw the empty cup at their head for making a big deal out of your customer service for what they'd ordered.

You resisted the urge to test out how good your aim was, opting instead to keep your job for a bit longer. You slid over the cup once you were done filling it up, going back to the register to take any other orders. It was slow, only a couple stragglers making their way inside to get a light breakfast before their shift at work. While Nueva York was known as one of the more dangerous cities to live in with all the villains crawling on the streets, the area of the city that you lived in was moderately calm. Only a few robberies here and there, one or two gang-related homicides. To say that you were used to these slow mornings was an understatement, getting used to seeing tourists' disappointment when this part of the city doesn't meet their level of excitement. 

You headed out for a break outside of the restaurant, unable to stand the smell of grease lingering onto the kitchen. You weren't able to escape the smell much though, the stench clinging onto your clothes like it wanted to remind you of your place. You let out a small groan upon catching another whiff, taking your phone out to check the forecast and a couple of the news just to see if you'd be able to go on your date tonight. It was then when you saw a reporter broadcasting from the building across the restaurant, a man on a hover board playing with a couple bombs like he was juggling at the circus. You felt the impact before you saw it on your screen, the screams making themselves known in the chaos.

You headed over to where the news reporter had been standing just a couple seconds ago, a small crowd already gathered around to get a glimpse of the Green Goblin. The way they spectated around it made it seem like they were expecting for a celebrity to show up, the crowd bursting out into cheers after Spider-Man's red webs came into view. "Get him Spidey!" You heard in the background, the people breaking out into cheers of his name while he made his way over to the Green Goblin. You weren't sure how it was that these people managed to like him one day and dislike him the next, choosing instead to stay quiet and just watch the event unfold.

You looked over at Spider-Man as he dropped down to the floor, a brutal punch from the Goblin sending him rolling on the floor. He seemed to be looking around at the cars parked outside, almost like he was picking one out of a magazine offer to throw at him. 'Not my car, not my car,' was the only thought running through your head like a mantra, watching as Spider-Man approached the vehicles to take his pick for the Green Goblin. You knew that it was selfish, but you figured that the BMW parked next to your car could definitely afford to get it fixed if they were driving that around in these areas of Nueva York.

You let out a small whine as you saw him pick up your car with ease, swinging up to get some leverage on the villain before throwing it full speed ahead at him. All you could do was stare as your car flew in mid air, the people in the crowd only seeming to cheer even louder at how chaotic the fight was starting to become. The ringing in your ears got louder, every part of it blocking out except for the fact that you'd soon be without a car once it made its way back to the ground. The Green Goblin managed to get out of the way before your car hit him, the vehicle hitting the window of the building before slowly starting to make its descent. The shocking asshole didn't even make the shot.

"Can't help but feel bad for the poor loser that owns that car," you heard behind you, a couple of the people standing around making commentary like it was the hottest sports event they'd been to. "Think he's doing them a favor, can you imagine driving a piece of junk like that?" You heard another retort, your annoyance towards the situation growing even further. You glared over at the two of them, though the expression was ignored since their attention was solely locked on the maniac hovering amock on top of the building. You knew that it should be him that your anger is directed towards, but you couldn't help but be angry at Spider-Man for using your car without a care in the world. The way that he handled your property knowing that he couldn't get prosecuted for it just served to anger you even further.

For shock's sake. All you could do is stand there with your mouth agape as your car crashed down to the concrete, a wheel rolling off to the side. You weren't sure if you wanted to burst out into tears or if you wanted to start yelling at the mask-wearing asshole for not even making the shot. You looked over at your car, trying to convince yourself that the damage wasn't that bad. Well.. it might take a couple weeks of overtime but you were sure you could handle it. That was until a large piece of rubble from the building fell onto your car. You were dumbfounded, all you could do was simply blink as your car got crushed into mere metal. And if all the hope that was inside of you hadn't diminished yet, the engine burst out into flames a couple seconds afterwards.

Now you could definitely understand all the slander that J. Jonah Jameson had written about him. Shock, you were thinking of joining the Daily Bugle just to write your own article about him. The fact that your car was basically useless at this point and that you'd still have to continue paying for it kept ringing through your mind, every single outside noise making itself unknown as you looked at the pieces of metal sticking out from underneath the rubble. You were even thinking of getting an oil change soon. Well, not soon. But as soon as you managed to get a bit of disposable money. All the modifications that you'd planned for your car seemed pointless now, the one thing that you would be able to have in your name now destroyed.

The crowd burst out into cheers while you were still in the middle of seething to yourself, your mind calling Spider-Man a flurry of curses as you wrapped your mind around the fact that your car was destroyed. It didn't help that Spider-Man seemed so proud of getting back at the Goblin, stopping by the crowd and taking some pictures. The people immediately rushed over to his side, their phones out as their cameras flashed to try to snap a picture of the elusive hero. You stood off to the side, your arms folded as you waited to give him a piece of your mind. You were determined on getting some form of compensation after he'd fucked up your car, holding him responsible.

"Sorry, did you want a picture? We'll need to make this quick," Spider-Man spoke up when he saw you standing by the side, his large figure seeming more intimating as he stood in front of you. "No, what I want is my goddamn car back! It wasn't a damn ball for you to use! And you didn't even hit him with it!" Your voice came out frantic, more jumpy than you would've liked for it to be. You wanted your voice to portray the anger that you felt, but all you could feel is fear. Fear that you wouldn't have anything to navigate around the city with. "Oh. so you see.. I'm actually protected from anything involving public property. Lo siento," his voice didn't carry any sense of apology as he spoke, infuriating you even further.

"What the shock am i supposed to do with 'lo siento?!' And it wasn't public property, it was my private property!" You continued scolding at him, the annoyance that you felt starting to peek through the fear. "Is it really private property if you haven't finished paying it off yet?" He retorted, leaving you without an argument. He swung away before you had the chance to continue yelling at him, his red webs flashing across the buildings before disappearing completely. You couldn't help but stomp your foot in the ground, getting your phone out to call your insurance company to see what you could figure out about this situation.

"So, according to our system, you ended up getting our cheapest insurance option and unfortunately that means that your plan doesn't cover these types of damages. Your plan only covers Avengers-level threat and well.. the Green Goblin doesn't really qualify as one of those," the woman on the other line spoke up after clicking a few buttons on her computer, a groan threatening to make its way up your throat. She sounded sympathetic enough to the point where you didn't want to start complaining, but you couldn't help the hint of desperation that crawled up your voice when speaking.

"So is there anything else that I can do?" You asked her, your foot anxiously tapping on the sidewalk below you. "Hold on, let me connect you to someone else," she responded, the tapping on the other end resuming. “I don't want to speak to another rep-" your words got cut off by an elevator jingle, a couple advertisings being made here and there. What was supposed to be a calming waiting experience only served to stress you out further, your foot seeming to be tapping against the floor at a hundred miles an hour. Your eyes flickered around the mess, waiting for the elevator jingle to fade into good news.

"There's actually nothing that we can do in this situation," another voice came through the line after what seemed to be an eternity of waiting. "And you had to keep me on hold for the last five minutes just to say that?" You responded, starting to feel more tired than annoyed at the situation by this point. "Sorry about that. remember that your car payment's on the fifth of next month," the voice reminded you of your impending debt, a loud click sounding before the line ended. You made your way back into the restaurant, forcing a smile on your face as you took orders despite the fact that you wanted to curl up into a little ball and cry. Or yell. Whatever would help you feel better.

"Jess, can you come into my office for a second? It's a matter of life or death," Miguel spoke into his gizmo, waiting for a confirmation before he turned it off. Jessica appeared into his office in a couple seconds, her eyes widened in alert as she looked around for what was the life or death urgent matter. "So, walk with me through a hypothetical. Imagine you're broke and Spider-Man destroys your car. and you have a date with Spider-Man's alter ego. Except you don't know that it's Spider-Man until he decides to show you. How would you feel after that revelation?" Miguel asked her after the platform made its way down, Jessica’s face morphing into annoyance almost immediately.

"This isn't a matter of life or death first of all. Second of all, think I'd just drop kick you after the revelation. Did you even manage to land the car or not?" Jessica responded, making Miguel let out an annoyed huff as he ran through the possibilities in his mind. Though he'd had the same idea that she had, he didn't enjoy having them confirmed by someone else. "No," he admitted, glaring over at her when she started to laugh. "Good luck with that," she advised him, leaving the room to let him be with his own thoughts. He was more than certain he would need more than luck for this to work out in his favor.

He pulled up the tab for the dating app that Peter had signed him up, scrolling through your pictures like he wanted just the slightest sign that you weren't the same person. The more and more that he looked at the photos, the more that he tried to convince himself that something was off. Maybe that the angles didn't match up, that he believed he saw a beauty mark on the picture without having seen it on you today. But no matter how hard he tried, he knew that deep down, he'd destroyed his date's car. Even if he could get himself to disregard the fact for the date tonight, he knew that it would be haunting him later on. He felt the need to be completely honest with you in the ways that he could, wanting to show you every single part of him. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

While he'd been reluctant to actually giving in and trying out the app given the fact that he didn't have that much time to put into a relationship, he almost thought of himself as lucky for stumbling onto your profile. The conversations between the two of you was something that he looked forward to when he woke up in the morning and when he went to sleep at night. You were easy to talk to, someone that understood his dry sense of humor without taking offense to it. You'd even offered him some solutions to the problems he had going on despite not having much knowledge about the topic of hand, making sure that he'd put his well-being above anything else. He'd grown to care about you more than he initially anticipated for.

He'd never admit to it if you asked, but he found himself looking back at the nude photos that you'd exchanged with him. The way that your body sprawled out on your bedsheets, your lingerie clinging tightly onto your curves like it was begging for him to take it off. The teasing smile on your face as you looked up at the camera, making all the thoughts in his head disappear. All that had been running through his head upon seeing those photos was what he wanted to do you, his lips tracing every inch of your body as he worshipped you the way that you deserved to be. If he would have it his way, he'd make sure no inch of your body was left untouched by his lips.

He'd spent many nights with his hand tightly fisted around his cock, wishing that you'd be in the same room with him making him feel that level of pleasure. The sounds that you let out in the video you'd sent him were heavenly, a sensation coursing through him that he wouldn't be able to achieve even with the best produced porn video. It filled him with a sense of pride that it was him making you feel so needy, the small whimpers of his name making every nerve in his body short circuit. He knew that his hand wouldn't be able to compare to the way that you felt, the way that it would feel slipping inside of you for the first time. Your walls clenching tightly around his cock as you welcomed the intrusion, his pace gentle as he eased you into it.

He'd ignore the voices outside of his office just to get off to the thought of you, his fangs digging into his lower lip as he tried to muffle every sound that was eliciting from deep down. A quiet 'shock' here and there escaped from his lips, nothing that would alert any of the other members in the Society. The grip around his cock would tighten, like he was trying to do justice to the way that your pussy would tighten around him. His reddened tip kept leaking out precum, lathering his hand with every stroke that he gave himself. You'd become the object of every fantasy that he had, his work starting to get sloppy from the way that you'd been clouding his mind for days now.

Ropes of cum shot up to his stomach, a temporary relieve of the desire that had been brewing inside him. It was only a fleeting moment, before his thoughts returned back to you. It was a constant cycle of desire brewing morphing into a couple seconds of fleeting satisfaction, a burning inferno inside of him begging to be tamed with your fingers. To have your nails raking down his back, to seize every little gasp that you'd let out and every expression that would you make in the moment. He felt frustrated, at himself mostly. For letting himself get so pent up to the point where even the thought of you was a desire he couldn't fan down, of letting himself get so needy just for your touch.

To say that he was looking forward to the date with you was an understatement, having bought a new button down to prepare for it. He'd planned on taking the day early, taking the time to make sure he was well prepared for the date and going to buy you some flowers before he had to be at the restaurant. Every hope that he'd had towards the date quickly faded away, reminding him of what could've been. He almost wanted to kick himself for not picking the BMW parked next to your car. He hesitantly clicked on the 'block' button, though deep inside, he knew that you deserved more than just getting ghosted without any reason.

You ended up getting home later than you expected, getting lost in the subway system a couple of times before you managed to find your way. The date that you'd been looking forward to no longer seemed that exciting with all the events that had gone down tonight, and even if you were excited, you doubted you would be able to make it on time. You took out your phone to text Miguel that you wouldn't be able to make it, the text bubble turning green after you sent it. You wanted to lie to yourself and say that he didn't have any service, make any excuse for what you already knew deep down. A part of you didn't want to believe that you'd been ghosted, the conversations that the two of you shared almost seeming like out of a fairytale.

You tried sending him another message at a later time, only to find out that it met the same fate as your previous text. You slowly came to accept the situation for what it was, accepting the fact that you'd just been discarded like a toy. Though you weren't a stranger to getting ghosted on dating apps, this time, it seemed to sting more than the previous times. Maybe it was because you truly believed that it would go somewhere this time, that the two of you had formed a connection. You'd had the hope that he'd be the one you'd share those corny couple moments with, be the one who you'd go on dates with and have intimate moments with.

You ended up calling it a night early, all the lights in your apartment turned off as you snuggled with your fluffy blanket. You had a corny romance movie playing on the screen to get your mind off your current dilemma, to give you the chance to critique someone else's problems rather than dealing with your own. You'd bought a box of chocolates for yourself since they were a pretty decent price and it allowed you to indulge in the same things other people had on Valentine's Day, sticking them into your mouth as you watched the movie. You were doing everything in your power to avoid looking at your phone, to look through the messages you'd shared with Miguel just to have a reminder of what you could've had and of the texts that you'd romanticized so much in your head.

"Oh for fuck's sake, just say you love her," you muttered at the tv screen, rubbing your temples at just how overdramatized the whole plot was. Even after a while, the whole idea of making fun of fictional characters' problems lost its appeal. You turned off your tv, darkness enveloping your room instantly. You got up and cleaned up after yourself, making sure you hadn't left any chocolate remnants on your bedsheets or fingers. Despite having eaten half the box of chocolates, sleep washed over you with ease once you laid down. The grip that you had around one of your teddy bears was unrelenting as you slept, seeking out for some kind of comfort. Just having something there that would let you know it would be okay.

With all the hectics that happened last night, you'd forgotten to set your alarm early to make it to the subway on time. Despite the fact that you were basically working for minimum wage, your boss ordered you around like your service was what kept the restaurant running afloat. You got up from your bed after a couple minutes, already running the different excuses that you'd use. You figured that he wouldn't be exactly receptive to 'Spider-Man destroyed my only mode of transportation.' Your actions were slower than normal this morning, your fingers nimble as you buttoned up your shirt. The task had taken unnecessarily long, your mind constantly blanking out and forgetting about the task at hand.

You glanced over at the parking spot that your car used to occupy to notice a new suv parked in the spot, a red bow on top of it with a paper attached to the back of it. Your curiosity got the better of you, wondering who'd been so bold to park their car in your spot merely a day after it was unoccupied. You picked up the note, your eyes widening after you'd finished reading it.

'Sorry I messed up your car yesterday. I hope this makes up for it.

P.S. The keys are in your mailbox

P.P.S. Don’t worry about paying off your other car

- Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man'

You wanted to stay mad at the webbed asshole for treating your car as his personal play-toy but you couldn't deny the fact that this car was much nicer than the one you used to drive. It was nice enough where it would get you from one place to another with minimal bumps but not flashy enough that it'd get broken into. You folded the note and set it in your pocket, heading over to your mail room to get the keys. Sure enough, the keys to the car laid inside on top of the mail that you'd forgotten to get. You picked up the keys after a couple seconds, walking back over to your new car to get going to work.

—

tag list: @nixinluv02 @yournextbimbogf @ifiwasaguybrickedup @nympholove @pxtched @lazyjellyfish300 @yougavemeyourheartyouknow

[thankskenpenders]

Happy new year, everyone! Welcome to 2024, the year that will mark the 10th anniversary of Thanks Ken Penders. I'd like to go over my plans for the blog for this year.

First of all: in the very near future, I'll have a post with my thoughts on Sonic Dream Team, and I'm sure I'll write one last Sonic Prime review once the final episodes drop on the 11th. I've also been sitting on an unfinished piece about the Sonic LEGO sets. I wanted this to be longer and more detailed piece that not only reviewed the sets but also went into the weird disconnect between homogenized image of Sonic the Brand and the actual fiction it's based off of, but it'll probably end up getting cut down a lot just so I can put something out. Let's just say I did a fun little thing with one of the sets.

Second: yes, I would like to return to regular TKP updates this year. As I've said many times, I wanted to do this in 2023, but I've been suffering from creative burnout after finishing SLARPG and have generally been unable to focus on any of my creative goals this past year. I'm hoping that this year will be better and I'll be able to get back into the swing of covering Archie Sonic issues. Even doing one issue every week or so would be vastly preferable to continuing the hiatus. I'm still only halfway done!! But aside from burnout, my other main hurdle is that I need to reread my own archive to refresh myself on all these things after nearly three years away. This will take some time.

The thing is, though, this year I'll have an extra incentive to go back through my previous writing and brush up on all things Archie Sonic. Because you see...

I've decided that I want to make a video essay about Penders. The comics, the copyright battle, The Lara-Su Chronicles, everything.

The why

I've thought about doing this before, but I never committed to the idea. I was too busy with gamedev, or I thought it'd end up being too long, or I figured that there were already enough videos on the subject, or I just lacked confidence in my ability to put together a video essay. So I told myself it wasn't meant to be, and let the multiple YouTubers who have cited me as a source on their own Penders videos fill that void.

Recently, though, a few things have happened that have convinced me it might be time. For one, YouTube video essays/media retrospectives/etc. are just getting longer and longer. When Quinton Reviews is out here doing 21 hours of videos on Sam & Cat, a subpar Nick sitcom that only lasted one season, I don't feel so crazy for wanting to make a video about several hundred comic books and two lawsuits that'd be at least an hour or two long lmao. Admittedly, I've also been self-conscious about doing a long video essay like this as a trans woman who has yet to do any vocal training. But these days I feel like I see a lot more transfem YouTubers who have done little to no vocal training, and that's given me more confidence on that front.

But the big one was Hbomberguy's recent plagiarism video. As I sat there watching it, I kept thinking about the time I found a CBR article that was just a crude 800 word summary of my two previous articles on Penders, published by a CBR writer who's put out over 4000 articles since 2019. If I've already been plagiarized before, and my writing is so frequently passed around as a go-to source on Archie Sonic drama, then I wouldn't be shocked if there were YouTubers out there straight up just plagiarizing me. I don't watch other peoples' videos on Archie Sonic, so I'd never know! So if people are just gonna paraphrase me when covering these topics anyway, why not take matters into my own hands and make what I would consider to be the definitive video on the subject? If hacks like James Somerton and iilluminaughtii can churn out these shitty video essays and people will still watch them, surely it can't be that impossible to make my own, right? (And also, uh, Hbomb literally told me I should make the video lol. If you're reading this, thanks for the encouragement.)

The what, how, and when

So here's the plan.

Part of this video essay will be an adaptation of my Medium article on the recurring themes of Ken's Archie Sonic run, with its content touched up and expanded upon. There were a few things I skimmed over in the article because I didn't want it to get too long, but again, people are out here watching ten hour videos about bad Nickelodeon sitcoms now. I can get away with elaborating a little more. I can add a few paragraphs talking about the Chaos Knuckles arc, or throw in a little more historical context I've discovered in the years since.

After covering the comics, the back half(-ish?) of the video will be dedicated to the copyright battles and their ensuing controversies, trying to give an accurate picture of what actually went down, the sheer scale of how bad Archie fucked up, and what our takeaways should be. This will have some similarities to my New York Magazine article on the subject, but I'll be rewriting it from scratch. I REALLY had to keep things short for that article because I was already way over the expected word count, and my tone was a little more straight-laced than normal because I was trying to keep things Professional. I can riff more and insert more of my own opinions this time, like I normally would.

I'll inevitably have to touch on some of Ken's Bad Tweets when discussing things that have happened after the lawsuits, but I don't want the video to just devolve into a list of times people got mad at him on Twitter, so I'm gonna try to keep that to a minimum in favor of focusing on his actual work. Things like the Scourge the Speed Demon incident and his continued statements on certain characters' copyright statuses probably warrant mentioning, though. And finally, assuming that the book really does come out this summer, I would like the grand finale of the video to be about those first couple chapters of The Lara-Su Chronicles.

I don't currently know when this video will get done, but it'll probably be in the back half of the year, especially with me waiting for the book to either drop or get delayed yet again. But I've actually already started writing a bit of the script, and will keep chipping away at it for a while.

So, uh, yeah, look forward to that? Wish me luck?

[kitasgloves]

hii!!um can you mb do comforting your bf pt3?If you can include sunarin or kei. I know you have more requests n probably personal work so,of course ,no need to hurry !! <3

comforting your insecure bf

part 1 . part 2

— ♬ NSFW, MINORS DNI, gn reader, based on this post

— ♬ hi anon thank you for requesting i hope you like it !

— ♬ Suna Rintaro

Suna Rintaro's first encounter with you wasn't anything spectacular. There's no spark, no butterflies in his stomach, no reaction. He just viewed you as another human in the world. You were friends with the Miya brothers so it was inevitable that one of the brothers was going to introduce you to him. It was through his best friend Osamu Miya that he met you.

He thinks you're cool, he doesn't expect anything from you. Suna only saw you as a friend, right? Well, that was before he began spending more time with you. In the beginning, it was him, Osamu, and you. Sometimes Atsumu joined. Then all of a sudden the Miya twins were out of the equation and the two of you started hanging out.

You matched his vibe perfectly. You shared the same sense of humor, you were clever and quick with rebuttals to his remarks, and you had a sweet side that made his insides feel like mush. Before he knew it, Suna was hanging out more with you than his best friend and he gets teased for it.

"I think yer fallin' in love with [Name]"

Yeah, right. It's not true. You only give him the prettiest smiles and the most contagious laugh. The playful glimmer in your eyes, the way you would reach for his hand when you're nervous, how you lean on his shoulder when you're getting sleepy when watching a movie, he can smell your perfume, your shampoo, he can feel your warmth, and see the color of your lips...oh shit. Osamu is right, he is falling in love with you.

But there's no fucking way he's going to admit it. The way Suna sees it, you're too good for him. He's an asshole, a mean and sarcastic piece of shit. You're a special and genuine person that he doesn't deserve. He's been thinking about his feelings for you lately up until the Miya twins' birthday.

He deliberately planned to get wasted, maybe find somebody else to make him forget about his stupid crush on you. But his attempt was futile because, in the crowded room, his eyes still searched for you. And the fact that you immediately meet his eyes was so unfair, you make him so weak. Yet he doesn't crumble. He stubbornly avoids you.

"Rin! Hey! Why are you avoiding me?"

"Fuck off, [Name]"

Suna slurred as he tried to get away from you, terrified that if he lets you reach him he'll confess. He finishes his cup of alcohol when you finally catch him, as he gazes at you, his blood goes cold. There were tears in your eyes and you were gripping his arm.

"Why are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?"

You asked, your tone desperate and Suna's heart just shatters. Jesus, he is a certified dick. Even in his drunk state, he tries to keep it together to tell you that you haven't done anything wrong.

"Really?"

"Yeah, M'sorry [Name]"

"Oh thank god"

You hugged him, incredibly relieved. Suna was quick to return the embrace, burying his face against your neck, almost feeling his eyes go wet. And in a spur-of-the-moment or his fear of almost losing you, Suna pulls away and crashes his lips against yours in a silent confession. There was a muffled squeak from you. He thinks he's dreaming when he feels you kiss him back. Suna thinks he's incredibly drunk when he ends up going home with you.

"Babe, are you listening?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry. I was too busy staring at your pretty face"

"Ugh, fucking cheeseball"

You laughed and smacked his shoulder. Ever since the kiss, the two of you hit it off. Suna wouldn't have expected to be with you, but he's over the moon. Romance wasn't his strongest suit yet you made him feel like it is. He has never wanted to kiss someone so bad every day in his life. Never he has experienced being so head over heels for someone that it's ridiculous.

Everything felt so right. But Suna begins to think it's a lie. He's convinced that he doesn't deserve to be with you after everything. You and him weren't a perfect couple, you would have arguments that would start from something so minuscule into fully serious. Suna would find himself intentionally hurting you with his venomous insults, but you were strong and unwavering. It would be a while until Suna's self-sabotage brings out the worst of him.

He has hurt you, this time he did. He fucked up bad when he sees your wide eyes as tears gradually built up. But this time, he doesn't apologize, he lets you walk out the door and think it's over. He ends up alone in his room quietly crying to himself, gazing at his pathetic reflection on his mirror. On the least of his expectations, you return.

"Rintaro?"

Suna loved the way you called his name but he doesn't face you. He's filled with shame and guilt and you coming back to him after the shit he told you was a testament that he truly doesn't deserve you.

"Why the fuck are you here?"

"Please, let's talk, Rin"

"I don't wanna"

"Please, I want to fix this. I don't this to end"

You see the way Suna's lip wobbles. You carefully walked over to him and hugged him from behind, sharing your warmth with him. Suna blinks away the tears as he leans against your touch.

"I don't deserve you, [Name]"

"Rintaro..."

"I'm nothing but a stupid fucking asshole"

"Rin, you're not"

"For fuck's sake [Name]! I made you cry!"

"I know you don't mean it, Rin"

You nuzzled your face against his neck. Suna sighs, it was hard trying to resist you.

"I'm sorry, [Name]..."

"It's okay, babe"

"I...Are you sure you don't want to break up with me?"

"Yeah, want me to prove it to you?"

You said. Suna raised a brow, unsure of what you meant until he felt your hands tugging on the hems of his pants. In a span of a minute, he's moaning in front of his bedroom mirror with his cock out and your hands around it. You carefully pumped his length, purposely edging him.

"[Name], ah! Shit!"

Suna hissed. He hears you chuckle from behind. You planted butterfly kisses from his shoulder up to his neck.

"[Name], fuck"

Your boyfriend moans. You slowly begin to jerk him off faster, he throws his head back and whines.

"Rintaro, I love you so much. I love every part of you"

"I love your cheezy jokes, your sweet smile, and even your big and mean face"

"I love your eyes, your hair, your face, your lips, and especially your cock"

Suna groans, his face heats up from the compliment. Gently, your hands went to cup his balls and he drools like a fool drunk on lust.

"Hnngh, [Name]"

"I will love you forever for who you are, even with all the bad parts"

"[Name]"

He calls out for you in desperation, desperate for his sweet release. As your hand trailed back to his cock, you started to pump him swiftly. Suna's hips bucked forward as he watched himself lose to the pleasure in front of the mirror. His hair was sweaty and messy, the precum dripping down on his length was nasty, as his moans grew breathy.

"Are you gonna cum, Rin?"

"Ooooh yes! Fuck yes!"

"Come on baby, let go. I'm all yours"

You softly told him as his eyes rolled back. Suna convulsed as he cums around your warm hand. His cum shoots out everywhere, on his abdomen, your hand, and even his pants. Suna felt like he died and went back to life. His chest rises and falls as he meets your sweet eyes through the mirror.

"Holy shit"

"Are you okay, Rintaro?"

"More than okay, babe. That was fucking hot"

You laughed. Suna pounces on you to kiss you, he towers over you on his bed as he starts whispering 'I love you' to you with every kiss. Everything was all sweet and romantic until you can feel his cock hardening as it rubbed against your leg. You gulped as Suna sent you a devilish smile.

— ♬ Tsukishima Kei

Tsukishima Kei had no room for romance in his life. He only poured his focus on his work and volleyball. He occasionally hung out with his friends so he wasn't some miserable and workaholic man. He thinks the universe loves shitting on him when he was constantly surrounded by couples wherever he went. On the way to his work, in the museum, at the grocery store, and even scrolling on the internet. The persistent image of lovestruck couples irritated him to no end, especially when one of his friends recently came out that they became an official couple (thank god one of them went back to Brazil and the other migrated to Italy).

Tsukishima was waiting for all of this bullshit to die down until he was reunited with you. Great, just what he fucking needed. It was a dark secret that he had a fat crush on you back in high school, you were his senior then. You were popular because people were drawn to your beauty, kindness, and alluring personality. Tsukishima felt ashamed for falling victim to your charms. Admittedly, he tried to subtly pursue you then but ultimately stopped after you graduated high school and went to university. And here he thinks he's over you.

"Oh my god, Kei is that you?"

Shit. You have spotted him at the museum. He awkwardly stands there and lets you run to him with that big smile of yours.

"It's been so long!"

"...It has"

"I didn't know you worked here! How have you been?"

You and Tsukishima briefly caught up with each other's lives. It was true you and him go way back and were close, and it still feels like it to this day. Tsukishima hates to admit how he missed talking to you. Something about your genuine demeanor pulls him back to you.

"Do you want to go grab drinks later?"

Say no

"Sure, I'm free after my shift"

Oh you fucking idiot

"Great! Let's meet at the bar nearby!"

His heart skips a beat when he sees that beautiful bright smile on your face. It kept appearing in his mind as he continued on his day. Tsukishima grew impatient as he constantly glanced at his watch, wishing that time would go by faster. After his shift at the museum, he rushes to the bar and finds you waiting for him there.

The two of you ate and drank beer, swapping stories and sharing jokes. Being here with you reignited his attraction to you. Tsukishima couldn't help but notice everything about you. Your hair, your clothes, the smell of your perfume, god, he felt like a creep. It was getting late and both of you got fairly tipsy. You finished your cup of beer when you smiled at him with flushed cheeks.

"You know, I used to have a crush on you back then"

You admitted. Tsukishima nearly choked on his beer as he gazes at you wide-eyed and his glasses tilted.

"...Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, you were handsome and not to mention a smartass, I'm pretty sure everyone had a crush on you"

You shrugged. Tsukishima ignores the way his heart skipped a beat, he swallows nervously and looks at you.

"Didn't think you'd genuinely have a crush on me, I thought you think I'm an asshole"

"Well you are, a handsome asshole"

You chuckled and looked at him in the eye. Tsukishima knew this was his moment, to tell you how he's been in love with you for a long time. He sucks in a breath.

"You know, I know someone who's got a big fat crush on you for a long time..."

"Oh? Who?"

"You know him and he's an idiot"

"Hmm, is it your best friend Yamaguchi?"

"No"

"How about your other friends Kageyama and Hinata?"

"Nah, those two just became a couple"

"Oh, congratulations to them! Who could it be?"

He waited for you to guess right but it never came, much to his heart's disappointment.

"Are you lying to me, Kei?"

"No...ugh, I give up"

"What? Just tell me who it is!"

"It's me, you dumbass!"

You went silent and it made Tsukishima's stomach drop. The look of shock on your face scared him. How will you react? He has no clue what will it be. And then you laughed.

"Oh my god, are you serious?"

"Yeah..."

"And here I thought my feelings would never be reciprocated"

"Huh?"

Tsukishima looked at you dumbfounded. You sighed and reached to touch his hand across the table.

"I've been in love with you too for a long time, you dingus"

Suddenly, Tsukishima has room for his romantic life with you. Before he realizes it, he's just like those disgusting couples he gets surrounded by everywhere he goes. It felt so surreal to hold your hand while you two walked down the street. It seemed so unreal when you shared a kiss under the moonlight. He believed he lived in a dream when you told him you loved him. Because the truth is, Tsukishima thinks he doesn't deserve it.

The reason why he didn't have room for romance is because he's convinced he's unlovable. That on the surface is just a smart guy with a massive height, athletic abilities, and a smug attitude, and beyond that, he's nothing special. Tsukishima knows he's an absolute jerk who doesn't back down on rebuttals and insults. He's got a sharp tongue and an intelligent mouth. Why would someone love a guy like him?

Tsukishima distances himself from you since he formed those insecure thoughts. He gradually drifts away from you to the point that he refuses to meet up with you. He tries to return to his life before. Maybe you'll take the hint and replace him with someone better, someone who's significantly kinder than him, someone who's lovable.

There's a sudden bang on his apartment door. He groans and drags his feet to the door, when he opens it, he sees your enraged face.

"Why the hell are you not answering my calls and messages?!"

You shouted at him. Tsukishima takes a step back, surprised by your sudden appearance. You jabbed a finger at his chest.

"I've been worried sick about you! I thought something bad happened to my boyfriend!"

"Stop yelling, you're disturbing the neighbors"

"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on!"

You placed your hands on your hips and glared at him. Tsukishima holds back a groan and runs a hand down his face, he shuts the door behind you as he tries to lie about everything he's been through.

"I was sick and I didn't want to disturb you"

"You could've sent me a quick text then I would've understood. Ghosting me all of a sudden is so immature of you"

"I understand, I'm sorry"

You exhaled as you both sat on his bed, you crawled behind him to give him a loving embrace. Tsukishima could feel his heart racing at the tender act.

"I want to know if something's bothering you, Kei. I want you to be honest with me please"

You said quietly. Guilt floods his heart as Tsukishima debates whether to admit the truth. He didn't want to make you feel bad so he decided to be a man and tell you everything. He expected you to make fun of him or look at him differently but instead, you accepted him with open arms.

"Kei, baby, you're not unlovable"

"Oh please [Name], I'm a fucking jerk"

"And that's why I love you"

"Can you stop lying, [Name]?"

"I'm not lying!"

You huffed from behind him, glaring at him through the mirror before his bed. You wanted to knock some sense out of your giant boyfriend and show him how lovable he was. Tsukishima sees you smiling through the mirror as your hands grab the zipper of his pants.

"Oi [Name]! What the hell are you doing?!"

Tsukishima wants to deny it. To deny how fucking good it felt when your hand wrapped around his cock. He goes hard immediately when you stroke him a few times. You bite your lip as you played with his slit, earning a groan from him.

"[Name], ah fuck!"

You went to grab his ballsack and massage it. The pleasure erupts all over his body. When he stares forward, he sees his wrecked expression in the mirror. His blonde hair was disheveled, his glasses sliding down his nose bridge, and his pants sliding down his thighs to his ankles.

"Look at yourself Kei, god you look so fucking hot"

"Shit! Oh fuck, [Name]"

Tsukishima lets out a breathless moan. When your hand returns to his dick as you start to pump him at a fast pace, he opens his mouth and lets out a high-pitched moan.

"Oh, you like that, babe?"

"[Name], please"

"I need you to stop thinking you're unlovable because you are not"

Your pace slows down. Tsukishima meets your gaze in the mirror with your hand softly stroking his cock, his face goes red.

"Kei, I know you're handsome and smart but you're considerate too"

"You're not some heartless jerk, I see how you show that you care"

"You make efforts for me, you make me happy and it pains me to know you think you're not special because you are to me"

Your pace around his length quickens and he gasps, taking in your words and accepting them in his heart.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Kei. My sweet, smart, and hot boyfriend"

"Shit, [Name]! I'm going to cum!"

"Cum for me Kei"

You commanded and he met his orgasm in a shocking wave. The electrifying pleasure shoots all over his body that he momentarily loses his breath while his cum coats your hand. As the high subsides, Tsukishima blinks at you through the mirror.

"Don't you feel better now, Kei?"

You sweetly asked and suddenly he grew shy, avoiding your eyes with a tinge of pink on his cheeks. For a huge man, he sure is adorable. You giggled and kissed him on the cheek, and the blonde sighed.

"Thank you, [Name]"

"Aw, you're welcome baby"

"How about I return the favor, I want you to be good and take your clothes off now"

It was your turn to blush as you stuttered, Tsukishima looked at you with his eyes clouded with desire. You knew better so you obeyed him and got naked as he sweetly returned the favor.

©kitasgloves (do not steal or copy)

[deanscherrypie69]

Did it mean something? D.W𖧷

♡Dean Winchester X Female Reader♡

♡Warnings: Mentions of kissing, and language no use of Y/n. 18+ pls minors DNI!!!!!♡ please do not post my fics anywhere else expect tumblr, you have been warned!

♡Feedback is appreciated! Comments and reblogs are appreciated!!!!♡

♡Depending how this does I’ll post a part two!♡

♡My inbox is open for anything! (It will be open for requests soon!)♡

It had been a few days after Sam went to hell. Dean had lost his brother and you had lost your best friend that day. It was hard on you both. You didn't talk about it.

You both had been pushing your feelings down, about the whole situation, too scared to open up. Since Sam had been gone you and Dean had been hunting nonstop. It had been an easier way to cope with everything. Just pretending that everything was fine when it wasn't.

You And Dean had just finished vamp hunt and he offered to get food for you both.

After the hunt It had been raining like cats and dogs, you had been stuck in the hotel room trying to get a signal on the tv. "Come on!" You scream hitting the sides of the tv, it had been going out since the storm started, you sigh and run you hand across your face, when you were met with black and white static.

"Piece of shit-" You mutter kicking the bottom of the tv stand. You huff and sit on the edge of one of the motel beds.

You and Dean had been laying low for the past couple of days. You didn't hear from Bobby nor cas. You flop back onto the bed with a groan.

That was until the motel door swung open causing you to look over.

"Still nothing?" Dean questions throwing a white fastfood bag onto the little table in the kitchen.

"Nope." You say still looking at the ceiling.

You hear shuffling for a second, then you see the green eyed hunter standing over you with something wrapped in tinfoil. "Eat." He says placing it next to you.

You quickly sit up and grab the burger. You watch as Dean sits on the bed opposite bed across from you, he begins to unwrap the burger he had gotten both of you.

You watch as he bites into it, but you also noticed his wet hair. You watch him take two bites before looking in your direction.

Dean stops chewing the food in his mouth, "What?" He questions when he catches you stare at him.

"Nothing." You say.

Dean mumbles an 'ok' and continues to eat.

For some guy who had lost his brother he seems to be doing just fine. You get up from the bed, and walk into the kitchen, pulling out the chair you pull back the motel curtain, you stare out the window and watch the rain fall.

You missed Sam, he was your besfriend - besides Dean you thought, you and Dean were never really close it upset you, he never really talked to you about anything besides Sam. When you entered the room he'd go quite.

You never understood why.

You had been staring out the window for too long to notice the green eyed hunter sitting across from you.

"You really should eat."

His voice rumbles through your body. "I'm good." You say looking from the window and to the man that had been sitting across from you for god knows how long.

Dean sighs and leans back in the chair.

"You okay Dean?" You Hum crossing your arms over your chest.

"As good as i can be." He huffs through his nose, "I could ask you the same thing, I know loosing your bestfriend is hard." He says.

You roll your eyes, "He's your brother Dean."

Dean leans forward on the table his arms resting against the table. He nods his head, "We'll get him back." Dean says taking a deep breath, "We always do." He gets up from the table tapping his knuckles against the wood.

You notice the bruises that sit upon his knuckles, they were purple. He had gotten them trying to fight of a vampire, to save you.

"Sorry about that." You swallow, your eyes still focused on the purple.

Dean follows your gaze.

"Its nothing, happens." He says walking over to the fridge, he opens it pulling out two beers. He holds one up, He knew you weren't very much of a drinker. You hated beer. But why the hell not, right?

You get up from your chair and make your way over to Dean where he was leaning against the counter. He flicks the bottle top off and plops it in the sink behind him.

You copy his motion, you step beside him and plop the top into the sink.

You bring the bottle up to your lips, the bitter liquid runs down your throat. pullinging the bottle away, you notice Dean's eyes on yours.

"What?" You hiccup.

"Nothing," He says bringing the glass bottle up to his lips.

You begin to fidgit with the bottle, you were still facing the sink, staring down at the two bottle tops in the sink. "Do you ever think about it?" You hum.

Dean turns his head in confusion, "Think about..? he questions, you noticed the confusion in his voice.

You take a deep breath, "Getting out, hunting. And living a normal life."

Dean stares down at his bottle, "All the time." Dean sighs.

He had called one of his lovers, Lisa hoping to rekindle something with her now that Sam was gone, she said yes. Dean was supposed to leave by morning.

But Dean didn't know if he wanted too, it would leave you alone and he knew that you were counting on him to be there.

You sigh.

You could see Dean shifing in his spot. What was he thinking about you wonder?

You place the beer bottle down on the counter, making your way over to the bed. The staic looking on the tv fills your ears.

"Do you think about it?" Dean asks putting his bottle next to yours. He strieds over to the bed and sits next to you.

Talking a shaky breath, you turn to face the green eyed man. "No." Dean watches you fiddle with your fingers, as he waits for you to contiue, "I never saw myself settling down, or getting out of this life, it's not for me. This is my life. There's no changing that."

Dean nods at your words.

You look up to find the man looking at you. His eyes searching your face, going back and forth between your eyes and lips.

It all happened to fast, Dean's lips on yours you his on his shirt, urging him to take it off.

This was wrong, you thought. You never felt this way about him. He was so mysterious, he never let you in on anything that happened to him, it was always Sam filling you in.

You both could barely be in a room together without one of you leaving because of the awkwardness.

But maybe it was Dean putting up a guard to try and protect you. He knew you didn't belong in this life, hunting and killing things. It just wasn't right for you.

You're different you aren't like him or Sam. And that's what Dean liked.

You were bought out of your thoughts when Dean nipped your ear causing you to squeal. "everything okay?" Dean questions looking up. You were straddling him.

His lips were pink and swollen from the kissing.

You quickly nod and grab his face, pressing your lips against his.

- - You had been woken up by a pounding on the door, you shoot up out of the bed, your eyes still trying to adjust from the light that was coming through the window.

You quickly pull the covers from your body, cold air hits your skin, you were naked. "Shit." You mumble, the pouding on the door didn't stop.

You looking over on the side of your bed where you were hoping to find Dean but he was gone. A bad feeling washed over you when you slide you t-shirt over your head.

You smelt him everywhere. In your skin in your hair. He was everywhere but no where all at once.

Putting the last leg into your jean's you fling open the door.

You were met with an old lady and a cleaning cart, "Room service!" She smiles, squeezing past you with her cart. You close the door behind you.

You quickly rush over to the bathrrom, maybe he'd just been in there, but you were met with a dark room. His duffle bag was gone. You swallow hard.

You walk back into the kitchen to find the beer bottles still sitting on the counter. Everything was gone, he was gone.

Tears form in your eyes. You grab your socks and shoes, and your coat that had been on the back of the chair in the kitchen chair.

You do a quick run through of the room to make sure you weren't missing anything.

Turing your head over your shoulder you had noticed the tv wasn't static anymore, an episode of 'Dr sexy' Was playing on the screen.

The cleaning lady had made her way over to the kitchen area, throwing away the bottles you and Dean had drank out of earlier.

You sigh and fish the hotel key out of your pocket before setting it down on the table.

You shut the door of the motel behind you, you fish out your phone and scroll through your contacts.

You click on the name before letting it ring a few times.

"Hey Bobby, care to give a girl a lift?"

[strongheartneteyam]

Not the type of girl for you.

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x human!nurse!female!reader

CW: a bit of angst but mostly fluff, wounded neteyam, mentions of blood (nothing graphic but reader is a nurse, right?), friends to lovers, kissing, physical contact, cute neteyam, sexual tension, hurt/comfort, anxious reader, reader thinks neteyam won’t ever have romantic feelings for her because she’s human, love confessions, neteyam flirting with reader

Another one of my works that had been forgotten for ages on my Google Docs and i’m now reviving this pookie and posting it for you guys to see lol comments and reblogs will make me feel so loved and supported! I love you guys so much 💓🌿

na'vi words: sevin tawtute (pretty human), syulang (flower)

Slightly proofread.

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I love you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you

I didn't mean to say what I said

I miss you, I mean it, I tried not to feel it

I can't get you out of my head

I'm not the type of girl for you

And I'm not going to pretend

That I'm the type of girl you'd call more than a friend

Your Type (Carly Rae Jepsen)

⋆°⋆ ͟͟͞͞➳❥

“Look, if I don’t tell you this now I don’t think I’ll ever have the courage to, so… Here it goes…” You said as you wrapped a bandage around Neteyam’s wound after you had cleaned it the best you could but there was still a bit of blood in it. It was natural, though. "I..." You sighed nervously "I like you. I'm sorry..." 

You finished tending to his wound and left the bandage at the cold metal table right next to where Neteyam was sitting down while you took care of the wounded areas in his body.

Neteyam looked at you, confused and surprised. He didn't expect to hear those words... at all. He always thought you only saw him as a friend.

"I know nothing will ever happen between us, Teyam, and I don't expect you to answer. Honestly, you can just walk out of here or ask someone else to care for your wounds. I understand if you don't ever wanna see me again. I don't want you to think of me as clingy or that I'm trying to force something because I..." Neteyam watched you non-stop while you were word vomiting "I'm not. I swear. I'm sorry... I made everything awkward. Now we can't be friends anymore. Well, you're all set. Your wounds are taken care of. Hope you heal fast. Gotta go. Bye."

You started to walk fast so you could run away from that uncomfortable situation you thought you had brought upon the both of you but Neteyam quickly got up from the medical chair made specially for the na'vi, bigger than a regular human one, and he ran to you, his long, toned legs helping him, as he only needed like four steps to get where you were, way fewer than a human guy would need.

"(Y/n), wait!" Neteyam exclaimed. You couldn't believe he was talking to you and not to tell you to never speak to him again and that he would never like a human - a demon - girl.

"Can we... talk about what you just said? It's an important piece of information." Neteyam chuckled and then gave you a big, warm smile.

That was so like him. Caring so much about others, trying to make everyone feel comfortable and at ease. That's one of the key things that made you fall in love with him. How beautiful he was on the inside too. If you forget his transcendental na'vi beauty, he would still be so, so beautiful because of how altruistic, kind and brave he was. You felt your heart ache inside your chest. You knew how much you loved Neteyam and how you'd probably love him forever. But you also knew he could never fall in love with a human girl. He wasn't fond of humans. He took after his mother, Neytiri. And you didn't blame him. You weren't that fond of your own race either.

“Can you tell me why you think I wouldn’t like you back?” Neteyam chuckled softly and smiled, his sharp fangs almost making you faint of captivation

Why did he have to be so freaking magnetic? Neteyam made it insanely hard for you not to have all those feelings for him.

“Well, for one, I am human…?” You pointed out, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion

"(y/n), you're not just any human. You understand and respect my Planet and the na'vi ways, you work helping heal our kids and warriors and I think I sense some love for Eywa in you. Being human is not a reason for me not to like you." He smiled, reassuring you "I've actually had a crush on you for... some months now." He confessed as his tail moved from side to side, making his joy apparent

Wait, hold on... what? Did Neteyam just say he had a crush on you? You definitely were not expecting that.

“What did you just say?” Your eyebrows were still furrowed as you chuckled, unbelieving

“I said I like you too, sevin tawtute.” Neteyam smiled and got closer to you, pulling you in, bringing you dangerously close to his strong but soft body

Suddenly, Neteyam put his big hands under your arms and lift you in the air and you feared falling so, before you knew it, you were wrapping your legs around his waist.

His smile grew wider and he said “I’m gonna start courting you now. Do you even realize how pretty you look in your nurse uniform?” His flirting made your heart skip a beat and your legs felt weak. Good thing he was holding you in his arms.

Oh my God… Neteyam was actually holding you in his arms and he said he liked you back and that he was gonna start courting you… That didn’t sound real. You started to wonder if you were dreaming about him again. It used to happen fairly often. You were soon awakened from your thoughts by a sultry masculine voice.

“Syulang?” Neteyam called, realizing you seemed to be somewhere else, and you smiled at him when you understood that it was not a dream but actually reality. Neteyam smiled back. “You get so distracted sometimes." He chuckled "So cute.” Neteyam kissed you softly and quickly, leaving no time for you to even see it was coming before his lips were pressing tenderly against yours. His kiss felt sweet and caring, like you were precious to him. His lips tasted like Paradise and that's exactly where you felt you currently were.

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Taglist:

@yeosxxx

[ccsainzleclerc5516]

This Is Where You Stand With Me

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader

Warnings: none

A/N: pls read this for better understanding thanksss!!

Sooo once upon a time, a few months ago actually, I started writing a Charles fanfic - never finished it - I had a reeeally good story in mind, wrote around 20 chapters and then I just got bored of it, BUT! I wrote some really good pieces that I'd be sorry no one ever read so I thought I'd post them. Actually I've already posted one part of the story that comes waay later than the ones I'm gonna post now, but anyway it's the one called Lovers .

Basically, it's a story about a girl (you) who broke up with her boyfriend of five years. She was very unhappy in the relationship because her boyfriend didn't treat her right all those years and then after she gathered her strength and broke up with him, she decided to live a little and go visit her best friend Sophie in Monaco. Sophie has been in a relationship with Carlos for a while, and his teammate Charles is in a relationship with a girl (Ava) who isn't with him for the right reasons and doesn't really care about him. due to a combination of circumstances, you stayed in Monaco to live in Sophie's apartment and started running social networks for Ferrari, filming behind the scenes and similar things. From the very beginning, you and Charles have a love-hate relationship. He keeps sending you mixed signals and you never know where you're standing with him.

Ok, hope you'll like it, let me know if you'd even like to read more parts! Bye!

This is the part where you, Carlos, Sophie, Kika, Pierre, Charles and Lando are on the yacht. Sophie introduces you to all of them here for the first time and you're very nervous about it so you drink a bit too much..

Y/N's POV

Carlos, Sophie and I were the first ones to arrive. Their firends, Pierre and his girlfirend Kika, Charles and his girlfriend Ava, and I guess the only single friend Lando, arrived shortly after us. For me, the biggest introvert on the planet, this was quite a large number of people to meet at once and I did feel very anxious.

Luckily there was a vast amount of drinks on the yacht so I found mine tranquilizers - cranberry vodka and sangria. As soon as the alcohol started coursing through my system, I soon opened up a topic to talk about with everyone. Well, almost everyone. Charles and his girlfriend Ava seemed to have some disagreements so they weren't really in the best mood. She looked like she didn't really wanna be here and he was annoyed that she didn't wanna be here at least that's what I heard when I was going to the toilet because they were alone inside and arguing.

The evening went on with us all sitting in the lounge area, talking and drinking. I was truly having so much fun and I got along the most with Lando. He's so sweet and caring and funny, I was enjoying his company. Eventually Ava left. She was able to leave since we didn't set sail but stayed in the marina. Charles was fuming that she left. When Carlos asked him why she left he said she made arrangements with her friends earlier, he didn't want to talk about it much. Charles went on the upper lounge area and Lando went after him so he wasn't alone and I stayed with Carlos, Sophie, Pierre and Kika in the lounge area on the main deck.

"I love you." I hear Carlos quietly says to Soph while looking at her lips. She was in a half-lying position in his arms. I was scrolling through my phone across from them but I couldn't help but look at them out of the corner of my eye.

"I love you." Sophie smiles and gently kisses him. My eyes got watery at the sight of them. My heart hurt a little and for a second I wished I had what they have. I wasn't envious of them, not at all, I was actually very happy for them and for the first "I love you". But for a second the excitement about the single life passed me and looking at the couples I felt a little lonely.

I get up from the couch and head towards the back of the yacht were was the entrance to the inner part of the yacht. I lean my elbows on the fence and look down at the sea.

Did I make a good decision?

Should i have given us another chance?

Will i regret giving up on us?

Suddenly questions that I constantly avoid facing start to roll around in my head.

No! Of course I made a good decision, he doesn't deserve another chance and I'm not gonna regret anything!

I attribute those thoughts to the excessive amount of alcohol I've consumed since we got here.

Y/n, you were miserable with him, pull yourself together please, you are stronger than these thoughts. I say to myself, but one tear escapes from my eye. And then another one. And one after that.

"Shit.." I breathe out putting my palms over my eyes.

"What happened, Y/n?" A voice asks and it startles me.

"Oh, you scared me." I say looking at Charles standing beside me, but quickly look away wiping the tears from my cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" Charles asks looking at me.

"Too many drinks led me to a moment of weakness. That's all." I say not really wanting to talk to him about my emotional state.

"And what is the reason behind that moment of weakness?" He asks.

"I don't feel like talking about it, but I was wondering how long have you and Ava been together?" I suddenly blurt out turning to look at him. My mind is racing. I was curious about their fight because the way he looked at her, he seemed like he's really in love, but her, not so much according to my estimate.

"A year and a half now. Why do you ask?"

"Sweet. And why did you fight today?" I ask shamelessly and he rises his eyebrows at my question.

"Not that it's any of your business, but-" Just as he was about to say something a strong pain shoots through my stomach. Rocking of the yacht from the waves together with cranberry vodka and sangria equals nausea.

"Oh no.. I-I think I'm gonna throw up.." And just in that moment as I lean over the fence it starts shooting right out of me.

I was hoping that somehow I would be able to control myself and not throw up in front of him, but it was stronger than me. And honestly if I were sober, I would be ten times more embarrassed than I am now.

"Oh come on." He sighs and to my surprise he moves my hair out of my face holding it back. "Please don't fall over, I'm not jumping in for you."

"Oh my God, I'm gonna die.."

"Out of embarrassment? Yeah, I would too if I were you." Charles mocks me, but still holds my hair.

"Oh give me a break, I'm going through a breakup!" I manage to say bitterly because of his lack of understanding for me. As if he should understand me. he doesn't know anything about me except my name, and I don't know anything about him either except that his name is Charles and that he has a girlfriend with whom he had a not so pretty fight today.

"Did he leave you because you were a drunk?" He continues with his provocation.

"Ha ha, not that it's any of your business, but I broke up with him." I'm being sassy like I didn't just throw up in front of a rich and hot F1 driver, but in that moment that fact doesn't phase me one bit.

"Okay, if you say so." He laughs. "Come here, sit on this couch please." I can't help but notice his hand tightly being wrapped around my waist as he leads me to the couch. "Not that I care, but I'm so bored that I'll listen to why you broke up with your boyfriend."

"Well, now I'm not gonna tell you." I cross my arms acting childish making him laugh again. I roll my eyes and chuckle a little myself.

"Y/n? Where are you?" Right in that moment Sophie shows up breaking the sweet moment between the two of us.

"Your friend is running wild over here, she wanted to throw herself off the yacht because her boyfriend left her." Charles says getting up from the couch and my mouth falls open.

"What?!" Sophie's eyes go wide. "Throw yourself because of him? Are you out of your fucking mind?" She asks in complete shock.

Before saying anything to Sophie to calm her down I follow Charles with my eyes as he leaves laughing.

"He's lying of course, I got sick from the alcohol and threw up."

"Why is he suddenly being all smiley like that? Until a little while ago he was furious because of Ava?"

"I don't know, he obviously has issues." I shrug with my shoulders wanting to laugh but manage to control myself.

I'm usually very good at reading people at first glance. Whoever doesn't make a good impression on me in the beginning, whoever doesn't sit well with me, almost always turns out to not have the best personality. Unfortunately, it rarely happens that someone pleasantly surprises me if I don't like them at first. I could say that my intuition is very good and accurate and I really should listen to it more often.

But with Charles that wasn't the case. I couldn't read him at all. He's kinda mysterious, he seems a bit cocky and conceited, but gentle and caring at moments. At least that's what I think I got from today.

He's interesting though.

Part 2 here

[softpascalito]

Snowy Surprise - Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: Joel takes advantage of your lunch break on patrol for ... other activities. Afterwards, a promise he made about christmas decorations comes back to haunt him.

Relationships: Joel Miller x F!Reader WC: 2200 Tags/Warnings: Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Jackson!Era, Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Established Relationship, Vaginal Fingering, Female Reader, Neck Kissing, Dirty Talk, Semi-Public Sex, Christmas Tree, Snow Read on AO3 full advent calendar (updated daily)

notes: hello loves! i really wanted to do something special for christmas time this year and i had so much fun with kinktober that i decided to make a little pedro pascal advent calender! this also doubles as a piece for stephs (@toomanystoriessolittletime) winter writing challenge for this week! check it out here ♥

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

“God, I hope they're serving some warm food tonight,” you mutter, your body slowly moving up and down as you steer your horse up the hill and through a small trickle, the water glistening with the thin sheet of ice that is decorating its top. It crunches under the hooves of the animal as you make your way past the abandoned houses, the caved in roofs and trees heavy with fresh snow.

The ice crunches again, this time behind you, and it's the only indication that you're not alone. He stays quiet.

“The soup we had last week- what was it? Pumpkin?” You ask absent-mindedly. “That was delicious. And hot. Burned my tongue. But it was worth it.”

He still doesn't say anything. Not that it's unusual. It's why you're such a good fit. You’re complementary in that way. You talk, he listens. He pretends to be annoyed, you know he secretly likes the way your thoughts fly out of your mouth, practically unfiltered in his presence.

You let your horse fall back slightly until he catches up with you, the two of you riding side by side. “Joel?”

He turns his head at that, soft brown eyes landing on yours as he seems to be snapped out of thought, “Hm?”

“Were you listening to what I said?”

A small grumble escapes his throat, a dark eyebrow moving up ever so slightly. You roll your eyes at him, deciding to just drop it, “Forget it, it doesn't matter anyway.”

He lets a few moments of silence pass until you reach the small lookout and demount your horses, tying them to a small fence post in front of the building. When he passes you on his way inside, there's a small smirk on his face.

“It wasn't pumpkin. It was carrot.”

He does listen.

Joel signs the patrol book while you busy yourself with the binoculars. The snow is almost blinding, the past week having brought more of it than you're used to, even in Jackson.

It's the favorite topic at night in the tipsy bison, with people complaining about the cold, about pipes bursting and about paths needing to be cleared every few hours. But above all the complaints is the knowledge that the vast amount of snow also has its upsides, keeping infected unable to move as fast and raiders from entering the valley at all.

That, and the children have taken to sledding down the small slopes in the town center, filling the air of the community with genuine laughter and happiness that more than makes up for the hardships the winter brings.

“Coast looks clear,” you mumble into his direction and Joel gives a small nod of approval as he finishes scribbling what is no doubt another joke at Tommys expense into the large book.

As you place the lens caps back onto the worn-out binoculars, two strong hands are placed on each side of your hips, Joel's body gently pressing into yours as he hums into your ear.

“Are we on time?” 

You sigh dramatically but do check the small watch you carry in your backpack, finding that you've made good time on your way to the outlook, “We've got time for a small lunch break.”

But Joel doesn't let go, his arms only tightening their grip as he brings his lips to your cheek and you feel his teeth graze over your skin.

“Lunch break. For lunch,” you try weakly but he's having none of it. Joel's gloves come off with a swift motion and he drops them to the ground, his arms sneaking around you and pressing you into him with a little more force. His fingers don't quite extend to your most intimate areas yet, instead just teasing around them, his touch a little more forceful than usual to make sure you can feel it through your thick winter jacket.

“I think I have a better idea,” he mutters into your ear and you nod, pressing your body back against his as you give in.

It's not fair. The way that your brain practically goes silent the moment you're in his arms. It's like a storm raging outside and falling quiet the moment you shut the door. You wonder if he knows a secret pressure point on your body that noone else has ever found, one that eases your worries, that slows down the thoughts in your head that usually rush past at what feels like lightspeed. There's always something to worry about, something to consider, something to feel.

When you're with Joel, you only feel him.

He knows this. And he recognizes every time, without failure, the moment when your brain falls quiet, just by the way you push back into him, a soft gasp on your lips.

“Joel- it's too cold- '' you mumble. There's no heating around you, making the logistics of what he undoubtedly has in mind more than difficult.

“It's okay. I got you,” Joel whispers back. His hand is still warm from the thick gloves he always wears on patrol and he doesnt open a single button of your clothing, instead opting to flatten his hand and slide it into your pants.

His fingers barely fit into the front of your jeans and it causes them to press down on your skin immediately, drawing a whimper from your lips. He shushes you gently, curling his hand to reach further and a moment later, his index finger is inside of you, the calloused skin brushing against your inner walls.

“Fuck, Joel, please-” You practically beg, a familiar heat already burning in your core as you push yourself into the palm of his hand, squirming with the way his hand aligns so perfectly with your front.

Maybe it's because of the cold or because he knows that you're still on a schedule but he doesn't make you wait as long as he usually does, slowly beginning to move his finger in and out of you. You can feel your own wetness staining the inside of your panties as it runs down his fingers and your own hands begin to wander, one clutching onto his arm while you sneak the other around yourself, brushing over the outline of Joel's hard cock behind you.

He hisses under his breath, feeling the touch even through the thick fabric of his jeans and a second finger enters you almost automatically.

“This is about you, darlin’,” he mutters, pressing himself against you a little harder and using his unoccupied hand to grab your wrist, “You just be good for me and stay still.” 

So he doesn't want to go all the way, probably a smart choice in the current weather. Any disappointment you feel is quickly washed away however as you feel Joel's fingers curl inside of you, brushing over the spot that makes your knees weak.

You have no idea how he's able to finger you this well in the current position, restricted by the cold and all the layers of clothing between you. The small room is filled with the sound of your heavy breathing and you can feel the warmth of Joel's breath in your neck as he uses his nose to push aside the scarf that's wrapped around your throat and nips at your skin.

His other hand, still wrapped around your wrist, comes to your front, still restricting your arm while also holding you up.

“Come on, let me hear you, baby,” he mutters under his breath. “Noone around to tell us off. Just you and me.”

And again, your brain doesn't protest. You don't think about the dangers of being too loud, of humans or infected being attracted by the sound, of anything really. Your body and your brain seem to agree. You're safe with him.

So you let the noises flow from your lips, whimpering and moaning, mixing Joels name with a string of curse words when his thumb begins rubbing over your clit.

“Fuck, Joel, please, please, please let me come, Joel-” You break off into another fit of unintelligible words and Joel hums behind you, rubbing his nose against your ear. You can practically hear the grin on his face, “Go on, darlin’.”

It only takes a few more thrusts of his fingers inside of you until you're falling apart in his arms, your body jerking as the pleasure of your orgasm shoots through you.

Joel's arms stay tightly wrapped around you and he gives a few more gentle, shallow curls of his fingers, letting you fully ride out your orgasm, before he withdraws his hands from your jeans, leaving your underwear a mess.

“There we go. That's my girl,” he mumbles into your ear as he turns you around carefully and tugs on your jacket a bit, making sure that you're properly protected against the cold. It's endearing how much attention he pays to your shirt being tucked in correctly and your zipper being drawn. He holds you for a while longer, placing gentle kisses on the skin that he still can reach until he's sure you're good to go. You catch a glimpse of him licking the taste of you off his fingers before putting his gloves back on.

Your legs are still wobbly when you head back to your horses a few minutes later and you nod towards the woods, “I'm gonna go pee real quick.”

You're not sure why you blush now when you've literally just had Joel's hand knuckle-deep inside of you but he doesn't seem to mind. In fact, he almost enjoys it, a small smirk playing around his lips, “You do that.”

Ever the gentleman, Joel waits with Old Beardy and Japan while you stalk through the snow for a few more meters until you find a spot that looks like it'll work well-enough as a makeshift toilet. It takes a moment to undress with all the layers you're wearing and you curse as you pull your panties down to find them stained with your own juices, the sticky liquid smeared throughout the cotton fabric.

Meanwhile Joel's hand is scratching the soft neck of his horse when he hears a small yell. In an instant, he has his revolver drawn and is hurrying into the direction you disappeared into mere minutes ago.

He can feel his heart pounding in his chest as his boots sink into the snow with every step, his muscles ready to strike out at whatever danger is lurking behind the trees.

And then, suddenly, there you are. Standing in front of a pine tree that's only a little taller than him, your hand caressing the needles wet with snow.

Joel takes a breath, his gaze flying over the surroundings once more before he lets out a small sigh and lowers his gun, “What's going on?”

Your eyes, round and gentle, wander between the tree and him, lips pursed, like you know his reply to a question you haven't even asked yet.

“I know it's not the most practical option but-” You mumble and you can see the gears turning in Joel's head before he pinches his nose, closing his eyes for a moment, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

It's been a few weeks since you sprung the idea on him while cuddling one night, mentioning that you hadn't had a Christmas tree for years and that with the woods around Jackson so full of pines, it would be a waste to not get one. Joel didn't care much for it but he was so content in that moment with you in his arms that he gave in, agreeing that a little bit of decorating wouldn't hurt. And it seems like precisely that promise is now back to haunt him.

Your hand leaves the pine and instead you reach for Joel, tugging on his jacket a little, “Come on. We have some rope, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, we do have some rope,” he almost grunts, still keeping his eyes closed. When he opens them again, the brown in his eyes matches the trees around you and you're close enough to see the snow reflected in them.

“How bad do you want this?” He asks, honestly. He's straightforward, as always, so you decide to be as well.

“I really want it. It's perfect, it has the right size and we can keep it outside until I have finished the decorations and-”

Joel raises his hand a little, effectively cutting you off. He's heard enough.

“Okay.”

It's late when you get back to Jackson, riding through the wooden gate on your horses, the freshly cut pine tree tied to a makeshift sled behind you.

“I can't believe you talked me into this.”

Joel had offered a few more grunts and complaints about picking a tree so far away from Jackson when there were more than enough close to the perimeter. But then you had leaned over to him, just as he finished tying the tree down with a few sturdy knots.

“Maybe I can make it up to you by using this for something else, later.”

He smirked on the ride back, only stopping when you reached the small road that led down to the town and putting on his usual, gruff demeanor.

It barely lasts until you reach your doorstep.

notes: i hope you liked it! if you did, feel free to let me know if you want to be added to my twitter/tumblr tag list so you get a lil notification every time your advent calender is ready to be opened. wishing everyone a very lovely december ♥

[baby-yongbok]

A Feeling

Boyfriend!Bang Chan × Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst with a pinch of sugar at the end

Summary: There's a feeling in your chest that you can't seem to shake.

Warnings: Mentions of betrayal, Themes of cheating, Drinking, Broken Glass, Name calling. (I think this is it, let me know if I missed anything)

A/N: Happy Birthday Dear Chrisssss, Happy Birthday to you! + I've been having some issues with writing due to my health so I hope that this piece is good lol I got approval from my best friend and I trust her so here you go! This is one of the many posts that I'll be making for Our Leaders birthday so be on the look out!

✨Masterlist✨

The sting of bourbon flooded your throat as you threw back yet another shot. What was supposed to be a date night with Chris turned into you ordering a meal for one and him staying late at the company to fix a sudden studio mistake.

It wasn't the fact that your date night got canceled that bothered you, it was something else. It was a feeling that lingered in your chest. A feeling that something was wrong. You couldn't quite put your finger on it and the more you wondered the closer you got to finishing half a bottle of bourbon by yourself.  At this point you might as well wait for Chris to get home. It's about three in the morning now so he should be home any -

"Baby?" Your boyfriend's voice startled you out of your deep thoughts. "What are you still doing up?" 

"I kinda got… stuck. And then I got the bourbon out and ended up a little drunk.. so put the two together and you get this." Motioning towards yourself hunched over in the barstool you sigh.  "I couldn't shake this feeling..." 

"Are you sober enough to talk about it?" Stalking towards you slowly, Chris takes the empty seat next to yours.  

"Maybe it's best if I'm not sober for this? Maybe it'll make it easier to ask you and depending on the answer I wouldn't mind having it be harder to remember."

Confusion consumes his features as he leans forward, crossing both of his arms on the kitchen island "What could possibly be bothering you this much, babygirl?"

"I feel like.. there's something you have to tell me. I feel like today, something happened and you need to tell me but you aren't sure about it." Chris perks up a bit as you explain yourself to him. "If my feelings are correct then I need you to tell me what it is right now. Cause I can't sleep with this in my chest."

Running his hand over his face he covers his mouth for a second as he takes in all that you've said.

"Chris?" He looks up at you, directly into your eyes. "What is it?"

With a heavy sigh Chris squeezes his eyes shut as he prepares to speak. "Your friend… you know how you asked me to get Michelle a job at the company?" You shake your head as you follow his story. " Well ever since she started working there she's been.. suspiciously enthusiastic to see me. I thought that maybe she was just grateful that I got her the job and decided not to read too much into it"

Sighing, Chris runs both of his hands over his face and then looks down at the marble of the island. "Today, she went with us to assist with the Hilfiger shoot, she was just there to help make sure that it all went smoothly. Everything seemed perfectly normal until we were in the vans on our way home. I sat in the back and she made it her mission to sit next to me even though she was supposed to be in the other van. She was quiet for a bit, just listening to me Han and Felix talk until she suddenly tapped me and started talking about fate. She said that she's been waiting for an opportunity to get closer to me and this job has given her that." 

He pauses as he takes a second to read your body language. You couldn't hide how tense you are even if you wanted to. Your first instinct was to explode before he could even finish his story. You wanted to call him a liar for saying that Michelle, your best friend since preschool, would say such a thing to him but sadly you knew he wasn't lying. After being with him for three years you've learned how to tell when he’s hiding something from you. 

"I told her that I didn't understand. I told her that she knows I'm with you and I'm happy in this relationship. I told her that I only got her the job because you asked me to. She proceeded to talk about how much she... how much she liked me and then she told me that watching me during the shoot turned her on... then she, she uh.. she kissed me." 

You urgently sat up in your seat as you imagined just what he said. There's no way that Michelle would do that to you… right?  "And I pushed her away immediately, as soon as I processed the feeling I panicked and Han saw it all."

Quietly, you start to piece together everything that Chris just put out in the open. There’s no way that Michelle would never betray you like that. The two of you are partners in crime, you love each other, you respect each other.  

"Michelle -" You pause, your buzzing thoughts making it more difficult to complete your sentence..  "She wouldn’t -" 

You attempt to process the information over and over, the fuzziness that the bourbon’s caused making it a bit hard to piece it all together clearly but you know that it's true. It’s obvious that Chris isn't lying. He scratches the back of his neck when he's lying and on top of that, he has no reason to tell a lie about Michelle.

 "That fucking skank" Your glass shatters on the kitchen floor as a storm of anger closes in on your senses. You stumble to your feet and go straight for your cell on the kitchen counter.  

"Y/n" Chris swiftly stalks after you, grabbing your waist from behind. 

"Fucking let go of me." You fight his hold but all it does is make him hold onto you tighter. 

"You're drunk, if you're going to call her, do it tomorrow." You continue to fight him, the rage you felt was only enhanced by the bourbon and you knew that, yet you couldn't find it in you to calm the storm in your chest

"How could she do this shit?" 

"Baby, please calm down." He drags you down to the kitchen floor and pulls you into his lap. To you, it felt like you were still fighting but you were still now, being cradled by Chris as you sobbed into his chest. The transition was unbeknownst to you, it was so sudden.  

"How could she do that to me? She knows…" Chris shushes you as he strokes your hair. His thumb softly rubbing soothing circles into the exposed skin of your thigh. 

"She knows you're mine." 

"I'm sorry, I was never going to keep this from you. I just didn't know.. I didn't know how to tell you. I was going to give it till the morning." 

"Did you like it.."

"What?" Looking down at you with furrowed brows Chris’ grip on you loosens just for it to tighten again.  "No, no I didn't. I pushed her away. I immediately felt… dirty and scared.. scared that she'd cost me your trust, scared that you'd freak out so badly that you'd hate me for even saying anything. I hated every second of it and I hate every second of this feeling that it left me with. I love you, Y/n. I've never wanted anything with anyone else and that includes Michelle."

Silence envelopes the two of you as he holds you and you him.  The situation at hand was looming slowly around the two of you. You're almost positive that Chris will call Han in the morning to confirm everything that he told you. And you'll call Michelle and ask her why the fuck she thought this was okay.  

"We should get you some water then into bed, it’s late" Slowly you nod your head to agree with him but before you can stand Chris scoops you up in his arms bridal style and stands. " I don't want you hurting yourself on the glass." 

You look down at the shattered shot glass on the kitchen floor then back up at Chris. He’s watching you with soft eyes, a weak smile pulling at his lips. A surge of desire washes over you and you can't help what happens next. Grabbing his face with both of your hands you kiss him hard and passionate. He kisses you back with the same hunger allowing your energies to mix in a delicious and raw display of passion. As his lips tangle with yours he takes a couple steps back, away from the mess on the kitchen floor. You can hear the crack beneath his shoe as he steps on a piece of stray glass. 

You comb your fingers through his hair, grabbing some of it and pull slightly at the roots. A moan slips from his lips and it drives you over the edge.  

"Please." You both are panting as you pull away and plead for him. " Please, I need you."

"You're drunk." He looks down at you with sad yet lust flooded eyes.  You can tell it's killing him to deny you of your desire. "Trust me, I want to but you're wasted and not even two minutes ago you were angry and crying...Right now you only want me to prove that she can’t, ask me again tomorrow and I won't hesitate" 

"Okay." The Silence comes back to hug you both as he carries you into your shared bedroom and sits you onto the bed.  

"I'm gonna get you some water and clean up that glass. You should shower and change into something for bed." He kisses you on your cheek and you watch him as he walks away. His black t-shirt and joggers fit him beautifully and you couldn't help but resent him for it just a bit. You don’t move, your thoughts are running too wild for you to think about doing anything else besides calling Michelle and yelling every profanity that you can think of at her. You almost don’t notice Chris come back into the room with a bottle of water in hand and confusion written on his features.

“Are you going to shower?” You look up at him with your glazed eyes, searching his features for the right answer but it’s no use. 

“I don’t know.” You whisper and Chris takes a step towards you, Standing in front of you and gently guiding your head to rest on his stomach. You sigh at the contact, taking in his gentle touch.

“Maybe we’ll just call it a night? Shower in the morning.” You nod your head lazily as a tear runs down your cheek and soaks into the cotton of his shirt.

“You’re mine, right?” He pulls back from you a bit to see your face. He cups your cheeks in his hands, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. 

“All yours, only yours.” His eyes stay on yours, a soft and loving gaze that you know holds nothing but the truth. You shake your head slightly, grinning a bit. 

“You promise?” He returns your grin before leaning down to kiss your forehead.

“I promise.”

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

I just made myself a cup of a new tea, one from a set that a friend sent me. I was super curious to try it with and without milk in it, so after I take a sip without, I'm going to add milk to my tea.

That may seem like such an inane little story to post on a blog, unless you have an eating disorder. I'm sure many of you know what a big deal milk in tea can be, and what an important act of self-love it is.

It was poured into many of our ears, approaching teenhood in the mid-2000's, not to "drink our calories." For those of us whose restriction was weight-based, many of us practiced filling ourselves with water, with our coffee black and unsweetened whether that was how we liked it or not, and with tea that never contained milk.

Like many people who've struggled with binge eating and with restriction, I struggle with creating anxiety-inducing rules about when is okay to eat, especially if I'm between meals and worrying if I should allow myself a snack, or if it's okay to quench my thirst with anything other than water. This is especially true between meals. For some reason my brain has accepted the "extra" caloric intake as part of a meal, but still balks at the idea of introducing these things independently into non-meal parts of the day. I would like to note that my chronic illness and my body's reaction to food has also influenced this weird relationship between me and my favorite treats, such as a piece of candy, or a beverage that might happen to contain a greater-than-zero calorie count.

But tonight, before bed, I want to try this tea. And it sounds like one that'd be super tasty with milk, as it has cocoa powder and vanilla in the blend. So I let my tea cool in the room with me as I type this, telling myself that I can get up and go back for milk after I taste it.

Now I have gone to the kitchen.

Now I have poured in a splash of milk and tasted. It's soy milk, as regular milk sometimes hurts my stomach and I don't want my sleep to be disrupted. Due to my chronic illness, this is still something I have to think about, and I'll be honest, I hate it. Things like this make it so hard to tell myself I can let go of my food fears, because my brain knows that some of my food fears will turn out to have validity, and so what if they all do?

Now I have poured in another splash. Tasted.

Now I have poured in a third, much larger splash. Tasted.

Oh, this is it. This tea tastes like a warm dessert. But now it's too cool, so I need to microwave it back to its best heat. I used to not want to microwave my food. As a teen I heard a hippie say that microwaves destroy the nutrients in your food because the radiation breaks down their molecular structure. This is absolutely false. In fact, it's been disproven that microwaves break down nutrients any more than other methods of heating food, but for a long time I believed it. And even after I learned the truth, I still found it hard to convince myself it was okay to use microwaves for a very long time.

I have just finished my tea in my room. I took the time to identify that I wanted it. I took the time to truly taste it in several different ways, consider how I felt I wanted it and bring it to those specifications. It wasn't planned for any specific time or day, but I agreed to give myself this the way I wanted it anyway. I've been drinking my coffee with milk every morning, too. I actually like black coffee, but I like it better with milk. And I give myself things throughout the day that I enjoy, to enhance my experience of my existence. Life is hard, and it's okay to allow yourself, to the fullest extent you can, the small joys that bring you through the day.

I wanted to share this with you. I hope you don't feel the crushing weight of morality when staring at a bottle of regular soda and the sugar-free, when you wake up with your morning coffee, when your self-care regimen includes a cup of tea. I hope you practice actively giving yourself the love you need this week. And I hope you give it to yourself exactly the way you need it.

[two-white-butterflies]

the last time | m33 and c55

Description: You wanted to be his priority - is that too much to ask? After moving on from Max, he sees you around the paddock - with someone that treats you so much better.

Pairing: max verstappen/indie-actress!reader, carlos sainz/actress!reader (eventual)

Rating: Teen [angst]

taglist forms

yourname_daisies: happy new year everyone ✨ have a blessed 2021. i found love last year and i hope that you find yours this year. 💕

82 comments 12,349 likes

maxverstappen1: 🦁❤️🎉

thisloveisgood: my fav actress to f1 wag pipeline

bestianlives7: we gotta gatekeep her

esties9nando: This white man stole my wife??

Max reminded you of summer. Sunny. Smiling. Warm. He was your vacation, your rest and your home. "I missed you," you mumbled leaning deeper into his touch. "How was filming?" he inquired, pouring you a glass of wine. "Hectic, but nothing compared to racing." you chuckled - pressing a kiss to his jaw.

This year - everything revolved around him. It revolved around his practices and how he could fight to win the WDC. He slumped on the sofa beside you - reaching for the blanket and allowing it to cover the lower part of your torso.

"What movie are we going to watch?" he reached for the popcorn in the coffee table. Excited for what kind of film you'd choose. Last time it was horror - but you were in a romantic mood. "Something romantic comedy, I kinda wanna sleep tonight." you chuckled, browsing through Netflix's large catalogue of movies.

A small exhale exits his mouth - the air conditioner was making the room colder. A perfect temperature for watching a movie. "I can't wait until we get to watch you in Netflix," he prophecized. "I have a feeling that it's going to be soon." you smiled.

"Yeah, we'll watch your movie next month right? Licorice Pizza, I've already told everyone to watch it." he boasted, showing you that he did his job spreading the good word on the grid. A small giggle escapes your mouth - seeing that dedicated smile on his face.

"I can't find anything - let's just rewatch black mirror." you sighed, pressing on the familiar poster. It wasn't like you were going to watch a single thing tonight.

yourname_daisies: a piece of art ✨

18 comments 3,492 likes

maxverstappen1: ❤️📸

licorizepizza: 💕

y/nsuperfan: when she posts him all the time but he doesn't post her 😭 you can do so much better than this queen.

Carlossainz55: hermosa y hermoso 💪🏽 - yourname_daisies: gracias señor ✨

"Max Verstappen! You are champion of the world!" the man behind you screams into his mic. Even though your boyfriend finished second in the race - he won the WDC. "He did it!" you smiled, embracing your friend who was cheering for the both of you.

Max steps out of his car - jumping with joy as he began to embrace his team. He hugged Christian first, then his best friend then one of his engineers - but he passed you. He didn't even look in your direction. That was the moment you knew. You weren't his priority.

Mijn Pearl (Y/N L/N) Congratulations on the WDC Maxie! I'm so proud of you!!

You stared at the message that you sent out to him. It's been six hours. According to your friends he's currently partying in the redbull yacht - completely oblivious of your existence. "Did he seriously forget about you again? Just because he's champion of the world doesn't mean that he's allowed to forget you." your best friend antagonized - annoyed that you were being treated this way.

"He's probably overwhelmed with winning. I'm sure that he hasn't touched his phone since." you hid your phone inside your pocket. About to cry because of his neglect. He didn't even look at you. It was like - you disappeared into thin air.

"I don't care about him. Let's go party!" your friend screamed, pulling you inside one of the nightclubs. You shrug. It was probably the best thing to do. Anything to take your mind off him.

Carlos sits beside you - a cup of water at hand. "What are you doing here?" you inquire, surprised to see him in this kind of place. "I ditched the redbull party a few hours ago. Me and Lando were looking for you." he informed, taking a shot of his vodka.

A fake smile paints your lips - you completely forgot about how furious you felt about Max. "I decided to hang out with my friends," you lied - not wanting to talk shit about your boyfriend. "Ahh, I see. Do you want more alcohol? Lando will drive us home." he half-yelled due to the techno music blasting the room. "Yeah!" your best friend yelled in return, dancing to the tune with her upper body.

"Shit, are we gonna get that drunk?" you giggled, already seeing the drinks pile in your table. Soon enough Lando and Carlos were sitting beside you. Gossiping about F1 and other team's strategy. "Bottoms up!" Carlos suddenly yelled, prompting for all of you to take shots.

Carlossainz55: Anyone know what's happening? 🤣

798 comments 239,192 likes (posted 3:23 am)

foolishone38: Who is the girl in the second slide? With the black hair? She's so hot 😭 - bechele87: she's max's gf - foolishone38: not anymore...

imolatifosi5: y/n wasn't in the redbull afterparty? how was carlos hanging out with her? and where is max?

Gluteous Maximus (Max Verstappen) Where are you?

Mijn Pearl (Y/N L/N) Hey I'm in Lando's apartment. me n BSF/N so drunk 💀 we had to haul ass to the closest room

Gluteous Maximus (Max Verstappen) u safe? i can pick u up

Mijn Pearl (Y/N L/N) I'm too sleepy. I'll meet u in the hotel room tom. ily congratulations baby 💗

Gluteous Maximus (Max Verstappen) Thank you! ❤️ night

You couldn't stop crying on the drive home.

"I can't believe that I'm feeling this way." you wiped the tears away from your eyes, drunkenly mumbling about how Max made you feel alone. "You poor thing," your best friend pulled your head closer to her chest. "I felt invisible," you sobbed while Carlos rubbed comforting circles on your back. "It's normal to feel that way," he mumbled - unsure on how to comfort you.

"You need to talk to him - communication is the most important part of a relationship." Lando lectured while driving his car around the busy city. "Since when did you become an expert in love?" Carlos slurred, body moving alongside the car. "Since now." Lando popped his lips, halting in front of his apartment building.

"I don't know the entire story but I'm on your side." he removed his seatbelt, opening the door to his car.

yourname_daisies: 'Licorice Pizza' is nominated for three academy awards. I'm so proud of us! 💗✨

89 comments 28,129 likes

maxverstappen1: congratulations ❤️ - yourname_daisies: thank you max

LandoNorris: Don't forget us when ur rich n famous

You didn't tell him about the troubles that you were feeling in the relationship. You figured that time would heal everything, and his fame would settle down - but it never did. The fame never got to his head - but the neglect got to yours.

"Max, can we get an autograph?" his fans followed the both of you around. At first, he entertained them - but as more of them draw closer you both attempted to run away. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, attempting to navigate a crowded street.

One of the paparazzis bumped your shoulder. And the worst thing happened. He dropped your hand - and you swore that this would be the last time. The last time you dealt with this.

MAX VERSTAPPEN AND GIRLFRIEND CONFIRM BREAKUP.

(TWO YEARS LATER)

Carlossainz55: We look good together, no? ✨

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Max didn't think that he'd ever see you again.

He's read articles about your new life. How you won an Oscar a year after breaking up with him. How your dating one of his friends.

He sees you from across the paddock - wearing a color that he'd never thought he'd see you wear. Red. Ferrari red. With Carlos Sainz trailing behind you loyally.

He sees you walking towards him, and he contemplates on whether or not he should say 'hi'. He sees you walking towards him - until you're already past him. Bumping shoulders but never looking back.