#i just like to imagine sol as a . like yeah he has a minus one to intelligence and hes silly and stupid and very often incomprehensible. but

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have been thinking about professor sol even. professor bufo with no clearly discernable lesson plan. sol bufo ostensibly martial arts professor who spent two weeks running a yoga and meditation program and shows up to the next class with crochet hooks for everyone. professor bufo who is technically supposed to be assigning grades to students but hasnt given anyone less than an A because "i think they worked really hard and they did a great job :)" (referring to the ugliest and most malformed pot holder anyone has laid eyes upon in their life). professor bufo who is on his way to cluelessly kickstart the sexual awakening of about half the cohort of the academys new students. sol bufo adjunct professor who is gone half the year and his first class back is so immediately and easily baited into going into a long tangent about how cool his friends are. sol who is pretty sure hes easily the most useless professor on campus and almost cries when he sees his little desk overflowing with thank you notes at the end of the year. professor bufo absolutely fucking gloriously hot in the tightest little sweater vest because there were faculty complaints when he wore a crop top to class.

[skrs-cats]

can u imagine if po3 went differently in the way that they actually began to do stuff regarding preparing for the fight against the dark forest??

i think it wouldve been cool if we were introduced to the dark forest as a proper villain then, cause they were training cats all the way back to crookedstar. and idk, in this au the three actually have a JOB to do rather than wait around thinking abt a prophecy on how they have the power of the stars in their paws

now, how this will all begin? under read more bc i think it’ll get too long oof

*SO the first book in po3 ends with jay finding out theyre the three right? (or not bc i dont remember much RIP) but thats ok, this first book wouldve introduced the three, have them finding out that theres something different abt them. minus hollyleaf ;w;

*at some point before jay tells his siblings abt being in a prophecy, lion is already acquainted w the dark forest. hes big dumb and is still young so he just trusts tigerstar, though he keeps the training w them at a minimum

*jay is the one whos warned abt the dark forest by spottedleaf herself.  and he converses w his siblings

*holly and lion are shocked, the latter especially, and admits to them that he’sbeen training under tigerstar, though he’s never seen any other cats being trained

*holly THEN forms a plan abt spying the dark forest cats, and seeing who else is training under them. the plan? lion becomes something like what ivy turned out to be in oots, he becomes a spy, but at a cost. he becomes lets says, more violent, but its an act, though he tends to be snappish more than usual. his job is to figure out tigerstar’s plans, as well as what other cats could be training 

*then he tells jay, who dreams his way into said cats’ heads when sleeping, and informs them abt wanting to meet up. think jay threatening ashfur when the latter said he was gonna reveal the secret. the cats are unnerved, sometimes scared, yet jay’s med cat position (even tho at the start hes just an apprentice) serves as an important catalyst to them believing in him

*next is holly! shes the one in charge w actually talking w the cat. and thats when things get warped. the three think her superpower is getting other to listen to her. its not exactly a ‘power’ just a knack that she’s really really good at. sometimes warriors in thunderclan joke abt how she’d even be capable of talking herself out of an argument w shadowclan

*i dont have a set plot in mind regarding what happens next bc i have a muddled memory abt po3 but yeah. ofc things start to go downhill the farther they go. the sibs still have their life stretched ahead of them, and they dont always have time for the dark forest.lions fling w heatherpaw, sol, their journey to the mountains, and all that biz. below is what i think will happen after the events of sunrise.

*jayfeather, now appointed as thunderclan’s only medicine cat. more or less stays the same. he is crushed about hollyleaf’s death, and is almost reluctant to keeping the DF in check despite finding out his sister isnt one of the three. in their small cat cult, he is easily regarded as the leader once holly runs away

*hollyleaf’s ‘power’ fails her the moment she is unable to talk things straight w ashfur. it fucks the three of them up, and they chalk it up to being ‘too emotional’ to be able to handle things properly. lion has done it before, he’s gotten himself a few scratches when he wasnt paying attention or was too riled up. when she runs away, she thinks starclan took her powers away too, and she thinks she ruined the prophecy. when in reality shes just not the same as she was and is unable to really sound like her same old confident  self as an apprentice/young warrior

*now lionblaze’s is interesting. instead of cutting ties w the DF he uses the grief from squirrelflights confession as an act to rise the ranks. he uses that turmoil to earn tigerstar’s trust. in return he is more hella tired, he begins to train OTHER cats from the clans, who are all relatively afraid of him since he gets so violent at times, w/o even a scratch on his pelt. jay doesnt like that, but lion urges him that it helps bc holly is gone now. its easier to know who’son the DF’s side, but his powers become kind of useless since he gets overworked as everything progresses

*CUE OOTS

*dovepaw’s power is revealed. jay and lion’s lives get easier. and ivy is swayed itno the dark forest.

*lion n ivy bonding! ivy is reluctant at first, shes even abt to disagree to train bc she SPOTS lion in the crowd, but hawkfrost manages to convince ger to join

*and when lion and ivy meet its like “oh. youre here. OH SHIT”

*prophecy talk irl, they all agree that ivy will work as a spy like lionblaze

*when flametail dies and his spirit wanders the DF lion refuses to follow orders and kill him and is kicked out by the DF. ivy is challenged in turn, and she does the same as in canon and is stopped by tigerheart. its a hard thing to get over with, but it actually does lion some good. he actually gets to rest now

*remember when i said cat cult? well GUESS WHAt it forms bc cats gossip at gatherings. the things jay, holly, and lion did lead them to becoming these three powerful kiddos the cats look up to as ‘gods’ as in starclan powered up cats

*its similar to how starclan actually feared the three of them in canon BUT NOW WE’RE DOING SOMETHING W THAT FEAR

*holly was originally the leader, but once she disappears jay takes her place. dove and ivy are introduced later on.

*GOSH I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS BUT THATS ALL I HAVE FOR NOW

* I WILL DEF DRAW THIS SOMEDAY BUT FOR NOW ILL SHUT UP THNAK

* thank u if u read this far i appreciate it <3

[incorrectly-quoted-queers]

Drunk Punch Love: INTERMISSION ARCHANGEL

Pairing: FemShep and Garrus Vakarian (Shakarian)

Rating: PG-13 (with some tossed F-bombs)

Summary: Their awkward, badass journey through saving the galaxy and accidentally falling in love

INTERMISSION ARCHANGEL- 40 Days 

Twenty days on Omega, and somehow he ended up spending most of his time at a shithole bar, not knowing what to do with himself.

In a sick twist of fate, the day after he got on the station the old Normandy crew sent him 1,000 credits. Apparently, word of Kaidan and Liara got out, Shepard won the dating pool, and they thought it best to send her winnings to him. They probably thought it was a funny way of remembering her.

Garrus just found it an easy way to accomplish nothing, knowing his bank account was padded with his dead friend's winnings.

It was his fifth night in a row at Afterlife. He didn't know what he was doing here anymore. If he just wanted to sulk it out and then head back to Palaven or the Citadel, he should've left by now. Or if he planned on staying, he should've found some crusade to get his dumb ass distracted. But he wasn't building anything here, he was just drinking and wasting away in limbo.

Finishing his glass for the night, he didn't mind drinking alone very much. And as long as he kept it to one drink, he didn't start imagining her across the table. It was just enough booze to slosh away some of the emptiness, but not enough to start losing his mind. Wasn't the worst way to kill time.

But then an eager looking turian slid in the chair across from him and he hated it.

Okay, drinking alone was fine, minus the persistent grifters. Dude started talking before Garrus could tell him to fuck off. "Don't see ex-turian military around here often, not without a shiny new merc job or some secrets to keep."

"I don't give a shit about whatever you're selling, so-"

"Not even a little bit, Garrus Vaklarian?" He stopped trying to stand and sat back down, glaring at the guy. He didn't like where this was going. The mysterious turian just smirked. "I see I got your attention."

"What the hell do you want?"

"Back-up. I might've gotten myself a one on one with a krogan captain for the Blood Pack in ten minutes, and I don't feel like having my mandibles ripped off."

Garrus was trying to wrap his head around it all. His new taste for ryncol wasn't doing well for his brain. "One, why the hell would you do that? And two, why do you know who I am?"

"I'd love to say weeks of intel, but really? I've seen you a couple times here. Took me a little while to realize you're the one from the Battle of the Citadel vids, who helped take down Saren. Could use some heroism on my side."

"Okay, but you still didn't answer question one."

"I'm not a huge fan of the merc groups, period, but this Krogan's been trying to expand his territory into my old neighborhood. If my favorite restaurant has to start paying dues, we're gonna have a problem."

"With that dumb answer, I guess we're back to augmenting the second question. Why me? You could hire decent shots all over this station."

The guy was trying to seem casually, but Garrus could see the way his feet kept bouncing. All his fake confidence was relying on lies and adrenaline. Regardless of the underlying tells, the turian said, "Well, let's just say I'm a bit strapped for cash, so I was hoping you might do it for free. Also, I always prefer more than just a decent shot."

Laughing, Garrus was a little impressed with the quads on him. At the very least, the exchange was getting more amusing than annoying. "And what makes you think I'll help you?"

"A turian quitting their civil service position to chase down an unconfirmed rogue, turian spectre? That's a hero type. And hero types can't resists offers like mine."

That's when all the talk he was spinning stopped amusing Garrus. He leaned back forward onto the table, trying to keep the pop-up thoughts about green eyes and target practice out of his mind. "Yeah, well that's who I used to be."

Finally, the turian switched tactics. The veiled swagger fell and his shoulders slumped. He leaned closer to Garrus and went for the ole' classic: begging. "Just this once, okay? And after I'll leave you alone."

He was really itching to say no, but something in the back of his head was curious how much trouble one Krogan really could be. He'd definitely taken down scarier things in his time. And what better was he doing?

Hell with it. Maybe this could be his litmus test, break whatever funk he was in. If he felt good helping someone, great, he could use that. Make something of it. If not? Get his ass off this station, because it clearly wasn't doing much for him. Even if Omega treated Shepard's name like a hex, his brain dragged too much of her around. No matter Sol's intel, he there was one big problem with trying to run from her ghost: him.

Pushing off the table, he gave the guy a shrug. "Fine. Now, where the hell are we going?"

His new turian friend probably didn't mean to, but his face lit up and he nearly tripped over himself standing. He did a decent job pretending it didn't happen, though. Straightening himself, he nodded towards the far exit. "Out there and a few alleys back." Garrus nodded and followed him.

Once they were outside, though, he took a stop at a vending machine and grabbed some water. The second it dropped down, he popped the cap open and started chugging. His companion looked slightly horrified, saying, "Why are you inhaling that water bottle like it's oxygen?"

As the last drops fell, he threw away the bottle. "I was drinking ryncol." It was 100% placebo, but that alone made him start feeling a little better. Or maybe it was just the blood pumping from knowing he might get to pull out his sniper in a few minutes.

He hadn't done any target practice in weeks.

Though he started walking again, the turian gaped. "Why?" But as Garrus started walking faster, wanting to get somewhere, accomplish something, it was like the guy could smell his boiling blood. "Spirits, are you gonna get me killed?"

Garrus laughed at the thought. "If Shepard didn't kill me, neither will a Blood Pack krogan."

"Do you mean Saren?"

"No."

They walked down the next few blocks, and nothing seemed more illegal or sketchy than the rest of Omega was. They even got to pass a raving Batarian prophet, and that still didn't feel all that insane. He'd really gotten used to Omega, hadn't he?

All of a sudden, his walking buddy stopped in a slightly dimmer alley, where a few lights were out and no one was waiting for them. Garrus was hoping that he was just lost or looking for a right door to give a password, but the longer the other turian itched at his face, Garrus realized things were probably going to get complicated.

Garrus gave the guy the benefit of the doubt. "Is this the right place?"

"Yeah, I was supposed to meet him right here... five minutes ago."

Before Garrus could say anything about it obviously being a set-up, and that the krogan probably just wanted him dead, he could hear a weapon gearing up. Shoving the new guy down to the ground, he pulled out his sniper. While this wasn't exactly the best way to get back in the fight, he had to admit it felt damn good to hold in his hands again.

"Why didn't you gthink this was a set-up?"

"Let's just say being on the "good guy" side of this is new to me."

"Great, I always dreamed of a back alley firefight with an ex-merc." Glancing over their cover, he could clearly see three vorcha at the other end of the alley, probably two or three more he couldn't see. They always travelled in fairly large numbers, even for a small hit.

Next to him, the other turian asked, "Really?" Though he clearly whiffed the safety protocols of this meeting, he pulled out an SMG and was doing good work suppressing the Vorcha. Garrus had to give him that much credit.

But that didn't excuse his question, and he rolled his eyes. "No, this is hardly my favorite place to get murdered."

"What, do you have places you'd prefer?"

"For practicality? Gun expo or military base. For style? Gardens, electronics stores, antique shops, but only if they're classy."

Even though he seemed caught off guard and a little stressed, the guy laughed. "You're insane."

"What else did you expect? A healthily functioning ex-Spectre hunter?"

"You got me there." They downed one of the Vorcha, and another was at least down for the count because Garrus got a good shot straight through his leg, but the other three that they'd seen were still putting up a fight. His shooting buddy said, "On your left." Garrus swiveled and got a headshot on one of them while he was trying to get in for a closer shot.

Then the guy asked, gesturing to the gun, "Do you bring a sniper everywhere?"

"Yeah. This is my favorite gun." Garrus got the another Blood Pack goon when it popped its head out to check for them. But just as he was going to tell the other turian to close in on him, the final vorcha came out from behind the corner, holding his shotgun to the head of a civilian. From the looks of him, a shell-shocked shopper. Lowering his gun, Garrus said, "Fuck."

"Drop your weapons or I kill him."

The other turian stood up without even thinking about it, letting his SMG clatter to the ground. Garrus was looking between the two, trying to calculate what made the most sense. But seeing someone scared, he started wondering what Shepard would do. The bigger surprise was that for the first time in over a month, thinking of her didn't hurt so bad. Before he could get lost in the feeling, his shooting partner toed him. "Vakarian, drop the gun." He growled, still not quite sure how to handle the situation, but did.

"Good, now-"

After taking even a second to look at the vorcha, he realized none of them had a chance if they let him call the shots. He remembered the Blood Pack members he'd fought while on the Normandy; prisoners weren't their speciality. Taking a page from Shepard's book, he pulled out his pistol, used his visor for quick aiming, and shot. The vorcha dropped, leaving a mortified hostage standing in front of his corpse. Garrus told him, "Get out of here."

Guy didn't have to be told twice.

As he picked his sniper back up, the turian asked, "Where'd you learn to do that?"

"The most terrifying woman with a pistol in the entire Galaxy." Lucky for Garrus, the guy let him leave it at that.

They walked up to the last vorcha left, his leg bleeding. "You tell your boss that he better watch his ass around the wards, or he'll be dealing with us." For a second, the vorcha just stared at them, but then Garrus added, "Go!" And the vorcha didn't need to be told twice, either.

It wasn't geth ships and Reapers, but for a minute there, he felt like himself again. The person he was with her. Sure, that still fucking stung, but it didn't feel empty. It was the first thing that didn't feel empty in a long time.

Next to him, the turian chuckled. "That was pretty forward, assuming I want to team up with your crazy ass again."

"Says the man who begged me to help him." Holstering both of his weapons, he was ready to walk back onto the streets. They didn't need to fight everyone on Omega tonight. But walking side by side with this turian, his wheels started turning. He didn't want to lose this feeling. This was the closest he'd felt to her, to himself, since before the Normandy's destruction ripped all that away from him. He tried to act casual, but he knew what he was offering wasn't casual. It was fucking life or death. But maybe that's what made it feel right, like what he should be doing. Garrus asked, "What if this wasn't a one time thing?"

They walked out of the alley, and his new friend seemed to think it was a joke, his adrenaline-boosted shoulders still shaking a little. "What, asking me on a date here?"

"I'm serious. You were right, the mercs run these people into the ground. Let's do something about it." The turian stopped dead, next to him. Maybe Garrus was reaching, and maybe this was crazy, but... "I'm game if you are."

"Serious?"

"Serious."

He couldn't really make out his face, if he thought Garrus was talking out of his ass. And he didn't really look too sure of himself when he finally looked at the sniper, but he started to smile. There was a fire there in his eyes that Garrus could see growing. "Alright, I'm game, too."

"Good." Just as they started walking again, Garrus found himself in a situation so untactful that it was almost Shepard-like. Maybe that was a good sign. Scratching his head, he asked, like an idiot, "Since I just agreed to risk my ass with you, what's your name, anyway?"

"Lantar." The guy extended his hand and Garrus shook it. And when he did, it felt good, like he was finally doing something with his life again. Maybe things were starting to look up for him, even without Shepard. He already got one guy to join his own, reckless crusade. The turian named Lantar finished off with, "I'm an ex-informant for the Blue Suns, Lantar Sidonis."

///

OH BOY I was such an asshole writer about avoiding his name til the end.

I'm sure quite a few of you figured it out before we got there, but I'm still hyped about doing it.

Anyway, much thanks from my patrons:

Danyell Jones

Amy Connolly

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any predictions for next episode? any more thoughts on what happened this episode? everyone says this every episode but it sure was wild

I’ve been sitting on this ask for 5 whole-ass days just trying to gather my thoughts because, yeah, I do say it every week but this ep was especially wild.

I think that before I can talk about what I think is going to happen, I have to talk about what I thought was supposed to happen.

Now, before I watched the ep, I thought this fight was gonna go something like the graduation scene from Buffy because those kids came strapped and they weren’t even adventurers. They just happened to live by a hellmouth. But everyone basically dipped immediately. Now, in fairness, the bad kids are probably overleveled compared to even the seniors considering they keep going on side adventures, but man that was some weak sauce. I really wanted whoever had the highest charisma stat (Fabian or Fig I’m guessing) to give a speech, roll something crazy, and get some backup.

Like I said in a previous ask, I went into the last ep curious about what form it would take because a battle ep alone wouldn’t be enough to wrap everything up, surely. I thought they it might have been planned as a battle length ep with an extra hour or so tacked on for story and epilogueing.

I also don’t think Brennan wanted a TPK. Like, who is that fun for? Not the players who have gotten super attached to their characters by this point. Not the people paying for Dropout subscriptions. But he also made the fight pretty freaking hard. Penelope and Dayne were pretty strong mini bosses (even though they got Dayne super fast), they came into the fight at half strength, the first part of the fight had a keep away element, Goldenhoard was strong before her turned into a dragon, and then he turned into a freaking dragon. I think having Ragh there to recruit and the roll for police mechanic were meant to alleviate the sheer difficulty of the fight, but you can only rely on the luck of the die so much (something Brennan must have re-learned when he let Ally roll for a potentially story breaking action). The deck was really stacked against them. So I feel like he had a plan for a party wipe. I mean, he’s had two players die before. It’s very possible his plan was that they would all wipe, meet up in heaven, chat with Aguefort, and then come back and finish the fight, maybe after some kind of sacrifice. I think Brennan would end the series with one, maybe two significant deaths, or a full party wipe IF they specifically were making a choice to make a Big Damn Hero sacrifice. It wouldn’t be narratively satisfying if everyone just died, you know? And he knows there’s an audience element to what he’s doing. 

I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s extremely wild that no one has been super concerned about Adaine’s jacket to this point. Like, I would have asked someone about it. Done some investigation. At the very least, used it more. But Adaine was basically like: Dope Jacket. +5 to Self Esteem. There’s potentially a whole plot alley we’re missing because no one’s asked the right (or any) questions.

Also wild that Gorgug can’t even look Zelda in the eye when he talks to her but he full on kissed Ragh on the lips to get him to stop beating him up. lol Imagine if he’d tried that when Fabian punched him in ep 1.

I wonder if the cast is gonna be in formal wear again next ep.

OK, I’ve gotten off topic. Back to how things were supposed to go/predictions.

I think the parents have to come into play somehow. Obvious Sklonda should be on her way and Gorthalax has shown up but Fig’s mom went off to presumably where the girls are and we need to find out how that goes. Less obviously, I think Adaine’s mom and Fabian’s are going to end up on the board. I dunno what Fabian’s mom is good for but her last appearance was her picking up a sword as Fabian rushed out which felt foreshadow-y. Anyway, if she can’t fight, she’s still rich. She can do something. And she’s a high elf so maybe she can help out smoothing things over with Falinel. Speaking of, there’s still a war on which Adaine’s family played a part in starting. If Adaine’s mom wants to follow up on her one hint that she’s not a total garbage person, now would be the time.

Adaine is the elven oracle. I feel like that has to be relevant to the fight somehow. Like, it would be weird it the only thing that played into was that she could pick up the book, right? (Unless there was gonna be a S2 where that would be explored. Sidenote, I am starting to feel like next season might be different characters, same setting. That’s still not my main theory, but we’re leaving a lot of story on the table potentially. Although I did see they might be doing a comic? Idk). Of all the knocked out people (minus Kristen who is about to avenging angel rise from the dead) Adaine is probably in the best position because she’s with Fabian who is the only conscious party member. So that’s good I guess. 

I just took a look at the prophecy and it has two parts. The first part says the things that need to happen before Kalvaxus can be released (K beholds his treasure, 7 maidens chained, war befalls the realm, king and queen crowned). All that happened. Kalvaxus was released. They can’t stop it at this point (barring time travel, which, to be fair, was mentioned earlier). The second part of the prophecy is the consequences: Kalvaxus will be released, his destruction will know no bounds, the sun shall fall from the Heavens, and the world as we know it shall perish forever. 

Two parts of that strike me as especially significant. There’s the sun falling from the Heavens part. That implies Sol, right? Especially with the capitalized “Heavens”. So that doesn’t sound good.

And the second part is “the world as we know it shall perish forever”. That doesn’t mean the world is going to end, necessarily. That means the world is going to CHANGE. Which makes me wonder if THAT is/was the planned endgame for the season. The bad kids fail to prevent the prophecy and things change in a drastic way which is why the setting for next season is super different. 

And, back to the party wipe, Brennan didn’t seem very fazed as the entire party was dropping like flies, but he was *shook* when Ally rolled that 20 at the end. Like, compare that to the ep where Siobhan said they jossed his plans or Lou’s awesome nat 20 to beat a nat 20. In the first case, he didn’t react at all. In the second case, he celebrated with everyone else. When Ally did it, he was sitting there slack jawed. The healer rezzing should be a best case scenario, right? It gives the rest of the party a fighting chance. And, clearly, it wasn’t what he was expected and he wasn’t excited. It makes me feel like he wanted a party wipe for some reason. 

Anyway, I’m sure I’m forgetting something but that’s what I got for now.