#i just think jamie would be sick in the head wearing one of roy's old jerseys | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aion-rsa · 3 years

Text

How Ted Lasso Sneakily Crafted its Empire Strikes Back Season

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This article contains Ted Lasso spoilers through season 2 episode 8.

Perhaps you’ve heard, but Apple TV+ series Ted Lasso was the subject of some dreaded Discourse recently.

Since the Internet is infinite and we privileged few in the media have nothing but time, a handful of features came out weeks ago essentially questioning what Ted Lasso season 2 was even all about. Many of these features were well-written, well-argued, and fair, but when filtered through Twitter’s anti-nuance machine (i.e. Twitter itself), every feature boiled down to the same reductive take: Ted Lasso season 2 doesn’t have a conflict.

In some respects, this take was the inevitable reaction to the metanarrative surrounding Ted Lasso in the first place. Despite drawing its inspiration from a series of somewhat cynical NBC Sports Premier League commercials, the first season of Ted Lasso was all about the transformative power of kindness.

Or at least that’s what we critics declared it to be. And I don’t blame us. Awash in a flood of screeners about antiheroes, dystopias, and the end of the world, the simple kindness of Ted Lasso seemed revolutionary. They made a TV show about a guy who is…nice? They can do that? But the inherent goodness of its lead character was always Ted Lasso’s elevator pitch, not its thesis.

There’s been a darkness at the center of Ted Lasso since its very first moment, when an American man got on a flight to London in a doomed attempt to save his marriage. And, as season 2’s brilliant eighth episode rolls around, it’s become clear that that darkness is what the show has really been “about” this whole time.

Season 2 episode 8 “Man City” (the title is referring to AFC Richmond’s FA Cup match against opponent Manchester City but also stealthily reveals that this installment will be all about men and their respective traumas) is quite simply the best episode of Ted Lasso yet. It also might be the best episode of television this year. Near the episode’s end, right before AFC Richmond plays a crucial FA Cup match against the mighty Manchester City, coach Ted Lasso (Jason Sudeikis) finally comes clean with his coaching staff. He’s been suffering from panic attacks of late. His assistant coaches hear him, accept him, and then head off to the pitch where Man City absolutely obliterates their team.

Man City destroys AFC Richmond. They annihilate them. Embarrass them. Stuff them into a locker and steal their lunch money. The final score is 4-0 but it might as well be 400-0. The coaching staff is rattled but the players are hit even harder. Richmond’s star striker and former Man City player Jamie Tartt (Phil Dunster) is forced to endure watching his scumbag father cheer for his hometown team from the Wembley Stadium stands at the expense of his son.

After the game, Jamie’s father, James (Kieran O’Brien), enters the locker room where he drunkenly accosts him for being a loser and demands that Jamie grant access to the Wembley Stadium pitch for him and his scumbag friends to run around on. When Jamie refuses, his father pushes him, so Jamie reflexively punches him right in the face. James is dragged out of the locker room by Coach Beard (Brendan Hunt), leading a stunned and traumatized Jamie Tartt standing in the middle of the room, as if in a spotlight of pure pain, surrounded by teammates too afraid to even approach him. And then something amazing happens…

Here’s the dirty secret about television: there’s a lot of it. Due to the sheer number of TV shows released each year, even the best of them are destined to become little more than memories long-term. Sometimes all you can ask from multiple episodes and seasons of television is to provide you with one moment, one line, or one warm feeling to carry with you into the future. I don’t know how much I’ll remember from Ted Lasso 30-40 years from now when I’m immobile and reclined in my floating entertainment unit, Wall-E style. But I know I’ll at least remember the moment that Roy hugs Jamie.

The great Roy Kent (Brett Goldstein) – a character so disconnected from his own emotions that some fans are convinced he’s CGI – embraces the one person in the world he is least likely to embrace. As Roy and Jamie wordlessly hug, it’s hard to tell which man is more shocked by the moment. Ultimately, however, it might be Ted Lasso himself who is hit hardest. Shortly after seeing Roy play father to the younger Jamie, Ted quickly exits the locker room and calls sports psychologist Dr. Sharon Fieldstone (Sarah Niles) on his Apple TV+-apporved iPhone.

“My father killed himself when I was 16. That happened. To me and to my mom,” Ted says, weeping.

And that, my friends, is what Ted Lasso is all about. Pain. And dads. But mostly pain.

None of us can say that Ted Lasso didn’t warn us it was coming. To go back to the discourse of it all real quick – I don’t blame anyone for not picking up on the direction that this show was so clearly heading in. Ted Lasso is, first and foremost, a sitcom. The beauty of sitcoms is that you welcome them into your home to watch at your own pace and your own terms. If having Ted Lasso on in the background so you can occasionally see the handsome mustache man who smiles while you fold your laundry is the way you’ve chosen to engage with the show, then great! Just know that season 2 has been operating on a deeper level this whole time as well.

Let’s take things all the way back to the beginning – back to before season 2 even began. You’ve likely heard the old philosophical thought experiment “if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” Well Jason Sudeikis’s interviews leading up the season 2 premiere beg an equally as interesting hypothetical “how many times can one man mention The Empire Strikes Back before someone notices??”

Sudeikis referred to Ted Lasso season 2 as the show’s “Empire Strikes Back” multiple times before the premiere including in his local Kansas City Star and his technically local USA Today. The show even explicitly mentions the second Star Wars film in this season’s first episode when Richmond general manager Higgins (Jeremy Swyft) tells Ted that his kids are watching the trilogy for the first time. Sudeikis (who co-created and produces the show) and showrunner Bill Lawrence clearly want us to take the idea that Ted Lasso season 2 is The Empire Strikes Back seriously. And why would that be?

Think of how ESB differs from its two Star Wars siblings in the original trilogy. This is the story that features arguably the series most iconic moment when Luke Skywalker discovers his dad is a dick on a literal universal level. It also has the only unambiguously downer ending of any original trilogy Star Wars film. Luke is thoroughly defeated in this installment. Having one’s hand chopped off by their father and barely escaping with their life is definitely the Star Wars version of a 4-0 defeat.

The Empire Strikes Back can safely be boiled down into two concepts:

Dads are complicated.

Everything sucks.

When viewed through those two conceptual prisms, so much of Ted Lasso season 2 begins to make more sense.

Episode 1 opens with the death of a dog and then leads into a classic Ted Lasso speech that could serve as this season’s mission statemetn. After recounting the story of how he cared for his sick neighbor’s dog, Ted concludes with: “It’s funny to think about the things in your life that can make you cry knowing that they existed then become the same thing that can make you cry knowing that they’re now gone. Those things come into our lives to help us get from one place to a better one.”

Things like…a father who you didn’t have nearly enough time with? Following episode 1 (and following just about every episode this season), Bill Lawrence took to Twitter to assuage viewers’ fears about a lack of central conflict this season. He had this to say about Ted’s big speech.

Look, Merrill. It was thought out, but the speech he gives after (Written by Jason himself – I loved it) is the core of the season, but we knew some people might bum out.

— Bill Lawrence (@VDOOZER) July 27, 2021

Sorry, truly. Ted’s speech after (which I love, but am obviously biased) is a big part of the season. But it sounds like you had a crappy thing happen recently.

— Bill Lawrence (@VDOOZER) July 28, 2021

It’s not. But Ted’s speech has big relevance. Stick around!

— Bill Lawrence (@VDOOZER) July 26, 2021

He also had this to say about dads.

Effin Dads, man. Love mine so, but he’s struggling a bit.

— Bill Lawrence (@VDOOZER) July 27, 2021

“Effin dads” and our complicated relationships with them are all over Ted Lasso season 2. In the very next episode, Sam Obisanya (Toheeb Jimoh) tells Ted “You know, my father says that every time you’re on TV, he’s very happy that I’m here. That I’m in safe hands with you.”

Ted smiles at this bit of info but not as warmly as you might expect. Because to Ted, a dad isn’t a reassuring presence but rather someone you love who will just leave when you need him the most. That’s why he’s been trying to be the perfect father figure this whole time. That’s why he did something as extreme as leaving his family behind in Kansas while he heads off to London. If giving his wife space was the only way to preserve the family and remain a good dad, then he was going to give her a whole ocean of space.

Moreover, Ted hasn’t just been trying to serve as a father figure to his son this whole time but to everyone else as well. Sam’s comment to Ted reminds him that not everyone has a good dad, which encourages him to bring Jamie into the fold in the first place.

As time goes on, however, the stress of being the consummate father to everyone in his orbit begins to wear on Ted. Throughout the entirety of this season, Ted Lasso appears to be trying to be Ted Lasso just a bit too hard. His energy levels are too high. His jokes go on too long. The same life lessons that worked last year aren’t working this year. AFC Richmond opens with an embarrassing streak of draws before Jamie’s immense talents set things straight.

It all culminates in this season’s sixth episode when Ted has his second panic attack in as many years. This time it’s in public during an important game. The experience sends Ted running through the concourse of the stadium until he somehow ends up in the dark on Dr. Fieldstone’s couch, instinctively, like a wounded animal.

It’s certainly no coincidence that this panic attack occurs on the same day that Ted received a call from his son’s school asking him to pick him up, not realizing that he’s an ocean away. In that moment, Ted can’t help but remember what it’s like to be left behind by his own father and subconsciously wonder if he’s doing the same.

Though the shallow waters of Ted Lasso season 2 may have appeared consequence free for half its run, beneath the surface was a tidal wave of conflict. Just because the conflict wasn’t taking place between a happy-go-lucky football coach and a villainous owner doesn’t mean it wasn’t there.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Game of Thrones author George R.R. Martin is terrible at meeting deadlines but great at writing. According to him (and William Faulkner, from whom he borrows the quote), the only conflict worth writing about is that of the human heart with itself. That’s something that The Empire Strikes Back understood. And it’s something that Ted Lasso season 2 does as well.

The post How Ted Lasso Sneakily Crafted its Empire Strikes Back Season appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3E4eqHF

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

1 note · View note

itsbenedict · 6 years

Text

Kingdoms and Koopas: Ep. 3

K&K is a Fate Accelerated campaign set in the Mario universe, which I’m running for three players:

Bee @thebeeskneesocks, playing Kandace Koopa

Jovian @jovian12, playing Cozmo Naut

Malky @sleepdepravity, playing Dr. Chevy Chain

Last time | Archive | Next time

Previously on Kingdoms and Koopas: the party disturbed the restless dead, including Kandace’s gym coach, and managed to retrieve the Music Key from the Heart of Darkness. Then they tried teleporting out, and found themselves... out, but surrounded by hostile Koopalings. Whoops! They should probably do something about that.

(pictured: maps! of the Koopa Kingdom capital, Bowserburg Shellington New Bowseria Whatever It’s Called Today. above, and below.)

So, to recap their predicament in a little more detail, their teleport took them to the cloud of a Lakitu, who, upon suffering the effects of the Vacuum Shroom toxin they teleported into his cloud, proclaimed himself “the Storm God” and began terrorizing his fellow students. At least, until Kandace cast a spell to make them heavy and sink down into the fountain below, where it all got washed out and they all return to normal.

To normal, except they’re in this big indoor courtyard foyer thing, and they’re surrounded by five of the seven Koopalings. And... see, the Koopalings attend Kam Ekademy, the school across the street from Kammy Koopa’s Academy For Young Witches and Wizards. These two schools... have something of a rivalry. And a rivalry between two magic schools populated by irresponsible troublemakers... it’s more of a prank war type of deal. And wouldn’t you know it- the party contains a Kammy’s student!

youtube

Chevy, as usual, attempts to just roll the fuck outta there, but, uh... well, Kamek’s school uniforms are blue, and Kammy’s school uniforms are purple. And Chevy is purple, and seemingly with Kandace, and so the Koopalings jump to conclusions. “The Skammies are trying to escape!” Lemmy yells.

So... Roy is the first to act, firing a cannonball at Chevy. The way the rolls go, though... I guess Roy’s cannon is no match for a charging chain chomp, and it glances right off. Morton tries to stop her, too, and manages a little better- they tie, and Chevy manages to shove him to the doorway but not out. Cozmo tries to follow Chevy’s lead, doing the standard-issue X-Naut bum-rush. Lemmy tries to roll over to block him, but again the rolls are not in his favor, and Cozmo just knocks the ball out from under him and charges past. Kandace also attempts to flee, and also shout taunts at the Koopalings, but Ludwig grabs at her broom. And... just gets a handful of bristles as she speeds away. Larry tries shooting spells at them from the second-floor railing, but misses.

So as they get out the front door of Kam Ekademy, they’re attacked from behind as Wendy O. throws a ring at them from the balcony above the door. She also misses, though, and Kandace fires back with her heaviness spell, targeted at Wendy O.’s bow- causing her to lose her balance and fall off the balcony. The lot of them proceed down the front path... only to be blocked by Iggy, the final obstacle! Who... also misses, and knocks some of the pursuing Koopalings back a bit with the stray blast. They breeze right past him.

As they leave by the front gate (which the Koopalings aren’t allowed to pass out through, as school is in session), a “psst” gets their attention. Kandace recognizes the source of the voice as that shifty junk dealer that tries to sell useless crap to the kids at Kammy’s at a huge markup- looks like he also hangs around by the Ekademy.

Cozmo does not recognize that this brown Shy Guy in a trenchcoat, wearing an enormous fake mustache, is actually his boss, Shady Guy.

Chevy, with no patience for this, takes off for the hospital, but Cozmo and Kandace check out Shady Guy’s Deals Guy’s wares. There’s some weird yellow mushrooms, green dried shrooms, some weird little metal thing that he calls a “good’un” (or “G’un”), a ratty old umbrellla, and... ooh, a collapsible stunt bike!

Before buying anything, though, Kandace gets suspicious, and tears off Deals Guy’s mustache- revealing that it was, in fact, Shady Guy all along! Shady Guy tries to snatch it back, but fails- and Kandace ransoms it back in exchange for the bike. Hooray for robbery! Good thing there’s no way Shady Guy would ever go to the police about this. Cozmo gets the bike, and excitedly heads home.

Kandace returns to Kammy’s, Music Key in hand. On the way, though, she encounters... the hooded figure with the pink beak. It gestures for her to hand over the Music Key, but Kandace is suspicious. She instead insists that it escort her to Kammy personally, at which it balks, but ultimately agrees. Or, pretends to- as they’re almost there, it attempts to snatch the Music Key but fails. (Kandace cast a spell that creates a protective but freezing-cold ice bubble, before it could get her.) Kandace, vindicated in her suspicions, hamster-ball-rolls into the school and heads to Kammy’s office.

Kammy, for her part, seems surprised and slightly distressed that Kandace has returned with the Key successfully, and that it wasn’t somehow stolen from her. Odd, that. She weasels out of her promise to hand over a magic item from her treasure vault- modifying clarifying the terms of the deal such that, okay, it’s one magic item per orb for whoever turns it in, so four total- but they’re only handed out once all the Music Keys have been collected. So... Kandace better get back to work finding the rest!

Kandace isn’t happy about this, but whatever- she’s guaranteed at least one, as long as Kammy gets all the Music Keys, so if she can find the rest, cool beans.

And... cut to black, because we’re moving to the next day. Cozmo has decided to take his new collapsible stunt bike out for a spin at Plumber’s Folly, one of those incredibly deadly natural obstacle courses that occur in this neck of the woods. Kind of a companion to The Part That’s Supposed To Stop Mario But Doesn’t. Anyway, uh... Cozmo finds out the hard way that the collapsible bike “purchased” from Deals Guy has the emphasis on “collapsible”. It breaks underneath him and sends him flying into a lake of lava, causing his lives to go down from 3 to 2 and landing him with severe injuries back on shore.

He’s found by Party Guy, his direct superior at the talent agency. Shady Guy owns Shady Guy’s Talent Agency, but doesn’t do much management- that end of things is left to this clown. This literal clown, a guy who’s attended every Mario Party and knows how to have a good time. He takes Cozmo back up the hill to the talent agency, but Shady Guy calls him inside to deal with something urgent, and he leaves Cozmo on the ground after calling Kandace to come pick him up.

Kandace finds her way down past the Koopa Katacombs (think the ones in Paris, except it’s just sort of an underground apartment district for Dry Bones), and the Cavern of Gratuitous Spiky Peril, which she’s able to just ride her broom over. She picks up Cozmo and takes him to the hospital, where Chevy reluctantly patches him up again.

...Oh, while they’re in the waiting room there, Kandace and Cozmo overhear- from a heavily-injured superhero wannabe Pokey named Pokey Man, who works for Shady Guy’s Talent Agency- that the boss was seen carrying a shiny orb into Plumber’s Folly. Weird!

Anyway, Chevy decides that she needs to see Cozmo’s place of work, and find out what conditions are like there. There has to be some reason this guy keeps getting horribly injured! So... they decide to take what should be a shortcut, since the Cavern of Gratuitously Spiky Peril is harder to navigate with three to a broom. They take the underground below the hospital, and find... one small tunnel, and one big tunnel. The big tunnel has a broken bridge, though, so they can’t go that way at this point in the plot. They take the small tunnel...

...Which suffers a cave-in, due to the fact that I came up with it just then as a way for them to bypass certain obstacles I hadn’t finished setting up on the real path. So they won’t be using that one again. But they escape the cave-in, by running really fast in a panic, and arrive at the big cavern where Shady Guy’s Talent Agency is situated.

Cozmo decides to take them on a tour! Weirdly, the receptionist, Goomfried, is absent- but there’s a lot of noise coming from the dance room. They go check that out, and find... well, as usual, a particular couple new recruits are there. This guy Mike, some kind of robot, is DJing, and Jamie Thang is cutting a rug like there’s no tomorrow. Or, well- there’s no rug, it’s one of those light-up colored grid floor things, but you get the idea.

Also in the room is Party Guy, talking to... incredibly famous Mushroom Kingdom actor/director Zip Toad! Apparently the talent agency finally has an actual client! Zip Toad, who we decide sounds like Tommy Wiseau (because Party Guy and Cozmo are already sharing the surfer dude/stoner type accent), is looking for stunt talent for his new film. Cozmo’s eager to show off, so Zip Toad, Party Guy, and the party head off to Plumber’s Folly for Cozmo to show off.

Cozmo makes two rolls, here. One roll is with +Flashy, to see how totally sick his stunting is. The other roll is +Careful, to see whether he sticks the landing and doesn’t wipe out on the Plumber’s Folly hazards.

Cozmo’s Flashy is +3. His Careful is +0. The outcomes of these rolls are exactly as you might predict.

So, Chevy has unraveled the mystery of why Cozmo is getting injured so often. It’s because he goes out of his way to do the most dangerous possible things, all the time! Wow! The case is closed. She goes down to try and peel Cozmo off the spike wall he impaled himself on, while Kandace...

Kandace has that magical ability to sort of sense the direction of nearby Music Keys, and... huh! Seems like there’s one down, down deep in Plumber’s Folly! Weird. So, of course, she heads right inside, heedless of the dangers. And then... oh, boy. Oh, boy, the dangers. A wall of rock cuts her off from the others, and then more walls of rock erupt from the ground and knock everyone else off their feet! The party and company begin to tumble down into the depths of World 9-5. Next time: we’ll see how well the party manages doing plumber’s work!

Last time | Archive | Next time

#kingdoms and koopas

9 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 7 years

Text

Emergency Contact (Bitney) Lolacola01

Shane had only just arrived back home after a long day of photo shoots and interviews for his up and coming shows. The front door had only just closed when his cell began to ring loudly through the empty hallway. With his bag in one hand, and his keys in the other, Shane struggled to get his cell out of his back pocket.

“Hello?”

“Hi am I speaking to Shane Jenek?” A woman with a strong American accent asked.

Shane rolled his eyes, he had been getting random phone calls all week. Usually people asking about his power supplier. “Depends,” Shane answered. “Who’s asking?”

“I am a nurse from Cedars-Sinai medical hospital, your name is down for one of our patients emergency contacts.”

“I.. what?” Shane asked confused.

“Our patient… Leroy Haylock has you as his emergency contact.”

“I think you have the wrong person,” Shane answered back confused. “I don’t know anyone called Leroy.”

“You might know him as Roy,” the nurse suggested.

“Yeah that’s… you mean Bianca?” Shane asked.

“I’m sorry Mr Jenek but this conversation is going round in circles,” the nurse sighed. “Maybe I do have the wrong person.”

“No, no,” Shane said quickly. “No you have the right person… wait, you’re saying Roy is the the hospital? Is he okay?”

“I’m sorry I don’t know about his case, I have just been asked to call and let you know where he is,” the nurse answered. “If you come to the front desk of the emergency room and ask for his name, someone will have more information for you.”

Shane only took the time to throw his bag down in the corner of his room before he rushed back out of the front door and towards his car. He had no idea Roy was even back in LA, the last time they had talked he was still in London. And he had no idea why he was his emergency contact. Why wasn’t it Jamie, Bianca’s assistant. Surely he would be a better match. They were always together anyway. As Shane sped through the streets, he tried to imagine why Roy was at the emergency room. His first thought was car accident, or someone had hurt him, but the more he thought of that, the more his heart pound in his chest. So as he pulled his car up to the front of the hospital he tried to think of anything else. Of course Roy wouldn’t have gotten into an accident, and there is no way he’d been attack. It’s probably something stupid like he tripped on his heels or something. One of those long dresses he insists on wearing tripped him up, and he’s sitting on a hospital bed with a bandaged ankle and he needs a ride home. That was probably it.

Shane found reception as soon as he rushed through the doors of the emergency room. A small elderly looking woman stood behind the desk, looking bored out of her mind. “Roy Haylock,” Shane said quickly as he rushed to the desk.

“Excuse me?”

“Roy Haylock,” Shane repeated. “I’m looking for a Roy Haylock. I got a call to say he was hear.”

“Roy Haylock?” the nurse asked, looking at her computer. “Are you sure they called from hear, because I don’t see a…”

“Sorry Leyroy,” Shane corrected. “His name is Leroy Haylock.”

“Ah I see,” the nurse nodded. “I have him here.”

“Is he okay?” Shane asked in a panic. “I mean he’s not like… he’s not dead is he?”

“I can assure you he’s not the dead,” the nurse answered. “But I can’t let you know anything until I know who you are.”

“I’m Shane.”

“That’s nice dear,” the nurse smiled. “But I was looking more for what your relationship is with the patient. I can’t just let anyone who runs in here know about my patients.”

“Oh well I’m his emergency contact.”

“That’s also nice dear,” the nurse smiled. “But I need to know your relationship with the patient. Are you family.”

“No I’m…”

“Because if you’re not family I can’t let you see him,” the nurse interrupted quickly before Shane could finish. “Like if you were his brother or his husband.”

“Well I’m not his brother,” Shane frowned. Unless one of us were adopted.”

“So that would make you his husband?” the nurse asked.

“Do you need to see proof that I’m his husband?” Shane quizzed.

“Of course not dear,” the nurse smiled.

“Then I’m his husband,” Shane answered quickly.

Then I can tell you he’s in room two, that door right behind you,” the nurse said pointing over Shane’s shoulder.

“Thank you,” Shane smiled before turning to look at the open door behind him.

Shane stepped silently into the open door, he was afraid of what he was going to see, but once inside all he could see was Bianca. Laying back in the hospital bed, wig off, make up all over the place and wearing an awful looking hospital gown.

“Who the hell called up?” Roy groaned as he looked up and saw Shane staring at him.

“The nurse,” Shane answered taking a step towards the bed.

“I told that nosy old bitch to leave me alone,” Roy grumbled. “You don’t have to be here Shane, I’m fine. I’m just waiting for the doctor to say I can go home.”

“Well I’m guessing the nurse called because I’m listed as your emergency contact,” Shane explained.

“Don’t look so excited about it,” Roy warned. “I was fighting with Jamie when I filled that in, I didn’t think I would have to use it.”

“Well I’m here now,” Shane shrugged.

“And you can also leave now,” Roy sighed. “You don’t have to be here Shane.”

“Just let me know that you’re okay,” Shane asked. “I mean you are okay, aren’t you?”

“I’m fine,” Roy grumbled. “I just got a little light headed. Maybe my heels were too high or my wig was too tight. Anyway I’m fine now.”

“How did you end up here?”

“Okay Mr Haylock I have your test results back.” A doctor walked into the hospital room looking down at a clipboard in his hand. “Ah you must be Mr Haylock’s husband,” the doctor added when he looked up to see Shane standing by the bed.

“Husband?” Roy asked confused. “What the hell are you…”

“Yes dear,” Shane said grabbing hold of Roy’s hand. “You know because it’s only family that get to see you.”

“You’re an idiot,” Roy grumbled before looking back at the doctor. “I’m fine Doc. I don’t need to know any test results.”

“Roy don’t be stupid,” Shane frowned. “If there was nothing wrong with you, then you wouldn’t be sitting in a hospital bed right now. Go on Doctor.”

“Well like I was saying,” The doctor said looking down at his notes. “We ran a few blood tests and well a few of the results came back a little… off.”

“Off?” Roy frowned. “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means we have to take more blood,” the doctor answered. “Just to compare.”

“Look I’m fine,” Roy sighed. “I don’t need.”

“He’ll have the tests,” Shane interrupted.

“It might take an hour or two to get the results back,” the doctor explained as he gave an nervous glance towards Roy.

“That’s fine,” Shane smiled patting Roy’s hand. “I’ll be here with him.”

“Well I’ll send an nurse in to get more blood.”

“Like there’s any left,” Roy grumbled as the doctor walked out.

“So are you in a mood because you’re not feeling good or is there something else?” Shane quizzed as he pulled a chair towards the bed.

“I’m not in any kind of mood,” Roy shrugged. “I’m just… you didn’t have to come. I would have been fine.”

“And I would have been the worlds worst friend if I didn’t,” Shane pointed out. “I couldn’t leave you here all alone. And I needed to know you were okay.”

“Well you can see I’m fine so…”

“I’m not leaving you Roy,” Shane interrupted. “So don’t go on.”

“Great,” Roy groaned. “That big mean bitch is back.”

Shane looked towards the door where an nurse stood talking to the doctor. “I’m guessing she took blood last time.”

“She dug that needle in too far,” Roy complained.

“You’re acting like you’re afraid of needles or something,” Shane laughed causing Roy to shift uncomfortably in the bed. “You’re not, are you?”

“Don’t be so stupid,” Roy snapped.

“You can’t be scared of needles,” Shane remarked confused. “You’ve had botox.”

“I was drunk,” Roy snapped. “Oh god, here she comes.”

“Now Mr Haylock,” the nurse smiled. “Are we going to be nicer this time?”

“Nicer?” Shane asked glancing at Roy.

“I might have called her some names last time,” Roy shrugged.

“He’ll be fine,” Shane smiled as he took Roy’s hand in his. “Won’t you?”

“Just get on with it,” Roy sighed.

Shane sat quietly as he watched the nurse prepare the needle. He could feel Roy’s hand grip his tighter and tighter as the nurse got closer. “Hey,” he whispered causing Roy to turn and look at him. “It really is going to be okay. Just keep looking at me.”

“I hate this,” Roy said quietly.

“I know,” Shane smiled softly as he reached out to stroke Roy’s cheek. Letting his thumb dip into his dimple. “But look she’s already done it,” he said nodding towards the nurse as she placed the bottles of blood into a tray.

“That’s not what I meant,” Roy mumbled.

Shane waited for the nurse to leave before answering Roy. “What do you mean then? What do you hate?”

“I hate.. I just… I hate being this vulnerable,” Roy spat out.

“But it’s only me,” Shane laughed confused. “You don’t have to hide anything from me.”

“When I got backstage after my show I could feel myself getting sick,”Roy admitted as he picked at the bed sheet. “It was like everyone was going distant, like they were all slipping away. I just had to get out of there. I ended up in the parking lot of the club, and before I knew it I was laying on the ground and this couple were calling me an ambulance. I knew I was going to need one, that’s why I went outside.”

“You went outside so you didn’t collapse in front of your friends?” Shane frowned.

“Pathetic, isn’t it?” Roy sighed.

“You’re too hard on yourself,” Shane sighed. “Like admitting you need help is some big scandal in your world.”

“I really didn’t want you to come here,” Roy sighed. “I must look terrible and for you of all people to see me like this. Well it’s not good.”

“I think you look great,” Shane smiled. “I mean the make up is a little on the clown side, but when isn’t it?” he added with a smile.

“Bitch,” Roy grumbled as he tried to hide his own smile.

“Wait what do you mean me of all people?”

“What?”

“You just said for you of all people to see me like this,” Shane answered. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know,” Roy shrugged.

“Because I’m your friend Roy,” Shane pointed out. “If I can’t see you like this, then who can?”

“Friend,” Roy scoffed.

“We’re not friends?” Shane frowned.

“Yes we’re friends,” Roy nodded.

“But you just scoffed like we weren’t,” Shane remarked. “You did that little eye roll you do and everything. In fact if I’m being honest you’ve been like this for months with me. Every time we get together for dinner or something, it’s like you can’t wait to get away. We hardly even call each other any more.”

“You’re being stupid,” Roy shrugged. “That’s all in your head.”

“Last month we were both in New York and I suggested that you stay in my hotel for the night. We could have hung out, watched a movie. You know, caught up. But when I suggested it, you looked like you wanted to run.”

“You only had one bed in your hotel room,” Roy pointed out.

“And?” Shane shrugged. “it was a double. We’ve can’t share a bed.”

“No.”

“You know what I think this is?” Shane asked.

“Tell me,” Roy sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Ever since I called you that night and told you I had slept with someone with HIV you have been different,” Shane sighed. “It’s like you are judging me. Like you’re disgusted by me. I think that’s why you didn’t want to share a bed with me that night.”

“Oh don’t be so fucking stupid,” Roy snapped. “It’s got nothing to do with that.”

“So there is something wrong,” Shane nodded. “I knew there was. Well go on. What’s wrong with me?”

“There is nothing wrong with you,” Roy sighed. “And I don’t want to talk about this any more.”

“Well if there’s nothing wrong with me,” Shane remarked. “Its got to be what happened with that guy. You can’t stand me now because of it.”

“I can’t stand you?” Roy laughed. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Then why are you being like this with me?” Shane snapped. “Why are you pushing me away?”

“Because I fucking love you,” Roy snapped. “That’s why.” Roy threw himself back against the pillow as he clenched his eyes shut. “You just had to push, didn’t you?”

“I. I didn’t mean to,” Shane stuttered. “I just wanted to know what was wrong.”

“And now you do,” Roy grumbled. “And now you can get up and run. I don’t have the energy to stop you.”

“Well what if…” Shane paused looking down at his and Roy’s hand wrapped together on the bed. “What if I don’t want to run?”

“I’d say you must enjoy awkward situations,” Roy answered, not opening his eyes.

“maybe,” Shane nodded. “Or maybe I liked hearing what you said.”

“What part?” Roy asked opening his eyes and turning his head to look at Shane.

“The because I fucking love you part,” Shane smiled.

“You only enjoyed that because you never hear people saying they love you,” Roy said rolling his eyes. “They’re usually too busy tip toeing out of your room in with their shoes in their hands.”

“Nice,” Shane nodded. “Telling me you love me and calling me a whore at the same time.”

“A bad whore,” Roy pointed out. “If you were a good whore they’d want to spend the night.”

“i hope that nurse comes back for more blood,” Shane frowned causing Roy to laugh.

“What I said,” Roy sighed. “We’re going to put that down to me being high on pain meds, aren’t we?”

“Are you on pain meds?”

“No,” Roy answered. “But lets pretend I am. It’s better than having our friendship ruined by my outburst.”

“We could do that,” Shane nodded. “Or we could talking about you being in love with me.”

“I’m not now,” Roy frowned. “I got over it.”

“I’m not that easy to get over,” Shane smirked.

“Why am I in love with you?” Roy asked confused. “I mean you can’t be my type. You’re too full of yourself.”

“And yet you are in love with me,” Shane smiled.

“You’re taking this very well,” Roy remarked. “I think if one of my friends admitted they were in love with me, I’d want to run a mile. Hell I would run a mile.”

“Well I guess I’m taking it well because I might feel the same way,” Shane smiled softly.

“Don’t,” Roy warned. “Don’t, say things like that just to make me feel better.”

“Like I’d do that,” Shane scoffed. “I’m not that nice.”

“So what’s your game here?” Roy asked. “Why are you saying this?”

“Why do you think I was so desperate to get you into my bed that night in New York?” Shane asked. “I don’t just let anyone sleep beside me.”

“Yes you do,” Roy frowned. “You do that all the time.”

“They never sleep.”

“Because they’re too busy tip toeing out of your room?” Roy asked.

“Something like that,” Shane mumbled. “But that’s not the point. The point is I love you too.”

“Just like that?”

“No not just like that,” Shane rolled his eyes. “It’s been a while.”

“A while?”

“Maybe a year or two,” Shane nodded. “Hey when did we spend that night laying in the grass watching the stars?”

“The pizza party?” Roy frowned.”

“Yeah,” Shane smiled. “It’s been since then.”

“That was three years ago,” Roy frowned.

Well it’s been three years,” Shane smiled. “When did you start loving me?”

“You have loved me for three years and you didn’t tell me?” Roy asked annoyed.

“Like that was going to end well,” Shane laughed. “You would have told me to fuck off. So how many months have you loved me?”

“Four years,” Roy sighed.

“Longer than me?” Shane asked surprised. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

“Like that would have ended well,” Roy scoffed. “I mean you’re… you and I’m… just me.”

“And what does that mean?”

“It means I’m not exactly your type,” Roy answered. “You usually go for big buff guys with no brain cells.”

“You make me sound shallow,” Shane frowned.

“I’m quoting you directly,” Roy pointed out.

“Well my heart doesn’t understand my type,” Shane shrugged. “Because for three years it’s been craving you.”

“This is weird,” Roy sighed. “How are we having this conversation so calmly?”

“Yeah,” Shane smirked. “In the movies when people confess they love each other, there’s usually tears and music and they fall into each arms. We’re talking like we’re agreeing that we both love pineapple on our pizzas. Oh I know what I can do.”

“Sing and I will have you thrown out of here,” Roy warned.

“Well it’s either that or one of us cries,” Shane frowned.

“See this is why we’d never work,” Roy sighed. “You’re too crazy.”

“I guess,” Shane shrugged. “So does that mean we’re not going to try?”

“Try what?”

“Being in love,” Shane answered. “Together.”

“It would end in us killing each other,” Roy answered. “Or me killing one of your muscle bound trade.”

“Because you’d be jealous?” Shane smiled.

“Yes,” Roy said through gritted teeth. “I’d be jealous.”

“Well I could help you what that,” Shane remarked.

“And how would you do that?”

“I could stay away from muscle trade,” Shane answered. “Hell I could stay away from all trade. And just be with… you.”

“Like that could work,” Roy laughed. “You being faithful.”

“Hey I can be faithful,” Shane frowned. “Single Shane boyfriend Shane are very different people.”

“Boyfriend?”

“Well yeah,” Shane nodded. “I mean if we were to do this, we’d be boyfriends. I mean if you wanted to be.”

“You’d only get bored,” Roy said shaking his head. “Let’s just forget it.”

“I know,” Shane smiled. “Lets make one of those packs. Like we get to a certain age and if we’re still single we get together.”

“Like we have our fun while we can and then become a couple?”

“Sure,” Shane nodded.

“Okay,” Roy smiled. “So what age do we pick?”

“How about when I turn thirty five? Shane suggested.

“Shane you turned thirty five months ago,” Roy frowned.

“Oh so I did,” Shane smiled. “I guess that settles it. We’re a couple.”

“It’s that simple is it?”

“It’s that simple,” Shane nodded. “Now stop fighting it. You love me, I love you. Just let it happen,” he added before picking Roy’s hand up and kissing the back of it. “We’re a couple now.”

“Romantic,” Roy scoffed.

“I’m trying to be,” Shane nodded. “That’s why our first kiss won’t be in an awful hospital room with you still in half Bianca drag.”

“Oh god,” Roy groaned. “I forgot I was still in make up. Well this is just great. How can you love me?”

“Call me weird, but I happen to find Bianca very attractive.”

“Says no one ever.”

“Shut up,” Shane laughed. “You happen to make a cute clown.”

“Thanks for not kissing me right now.”

“Said no one to me ever,” Shane smirked. “But don’t worry, you won’t have to wait long for a kiss. As soon as we’re out of here, you’ll get it.”

“If I get out of here,” Roy sighed.

“What does that mean?”

“You heard the doctor,” Roy answered. “They have to run more tests. That means they found something weird.”

“It might not.”

“I’ve not been feeling great for a while,” Roy sighed. “I keep getting these headaches. I don’t sleep. My mind is all fuzzy. I think there could be something serious.”

“Or it’s nothing,” Shane said squeezing Roy’s hand.

“I’m scared,” Roy said quietly.

“That’s okay,” Shane said moving to sit on the bed. “you can be scared if you want, because I’m here and I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Got your doctors degree now have you?”

“Okay fine,” Shane said rolling his eyes. “Things might happen but Ill still be here. Better?”

“A little,” Roy sighed as he rested his head on Shane’s shoulder.

They both stayed like that until the doctor came back with Roy’s test results. Shane held Roy’s hand in both of his as the doctor began to talk. “so we ran the test again and it looks like everything is normal.”

“Normal?” Roy frowned.

“I knew they would be,” Shane smiled.

“Yeah we just wanted to run them again to make sure,” the doctor nodded. “But it looks like everything is fine.”

“Fine?” Roy frowned. “But I collapsed. I passed out.”

“Mr Haylock when was the last time you went on a vacation?”

“Vacation,” Shane scoffed. “Like he knows what that is.”

“It’s been a couple of years,” Roy frowned. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“And do you take regular days off from your work?”

“No,” Shane answered. “He finished one tour on a Friday and started the next one on a Monday.”

“Thank you Shane,” Roy said through gritted teeth. “I can take it from here.”

“Well that explains it,” The doctor smiled. “Mr Haylock you are exhausted. You are working too hard and this is your body telling you to slow down. Now I hope you listen to it.”

“Oh he will,” Shane nodded. “As soon as we get home he’s booking time off.”

“When did you become the boss of me?” Roy frowned looking at Shane.

“Oh about twenty minutes ago,” Shane smirked.

“So that’s all,” the doctor said causing them both to turn and look at him. “Unless there’s anything you want to discuss with me?”

“No,” Roy said shaking his head. “I just want to go home.”

“I have something,” Shane smiled. “He loves me,” he added nodding his head towards Roy.

“I would hope so,” the doctor smiled. “He is your husband after all.”

“Oh yeah,” Shane laughed. “I’d forgotten about that,” he added causing the doctor to give him a funny look.

“Oh god you’re an idiot,” Roy groaned.

“But I’m your idiot,” Shane added with a wide smile.

#courtney act #bianca del rio #bitney #fluff #lolacola1 #rpdr fanfiction #canon compliant

31 notes · View notes