#i just wanted to put this out there bc this is one thing im set on. WHY ELSE WOULD HE MENTION HES A BIOLOGIST he has NEVER EVER mentioned

[puppyeared]

ive made myself more wet and pathetic

[dykeinthedark]

venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)

[parameddic]

i had such a good and interesting characterisation thought re. TK in the context of replying to this ask but i don't remember what it was very clearly and so i'm just. sitting here. trying to trigger the same thought

[piplupod]

wtf do ppl ask for on their bdays, this is so difficult goddamn

this is the most ridiculous and first-world problem to have but im trying desperately to think up anything that i could ask for this year bc my bday is coming up and my mother is asking for a wishlist from me, but all i can think of is either things she would judge me for (plushies, cute decor like figurines, etc) or expensive stuff like an external harddrive - i'll probably still put that on the list just in case fdsjkl my sister asked for some wickedly expensive stuff this year, maybe more than one person can go in on it together to get one for me oughhh i hate this though bc it makes me feel greedy and selfish fsfdjkl gifts stress me out so badly

im desperately wracking my brain to come up with maybe art supplies that i dont have yet but i think i have mostly everything that i can use for now and that is easily acquired (i dont want parents to have to go searching for shit online fdsjkl that makes them cranky w me) and that i can use without having to have five other tools at my disposal already so,,, augh. hrm. sigh.

[blindedguilt]

I need Leonard and Cain to do toxic yaoi together...the two of them deserved more interaction in general

//YOU GET IT OMG YOU F U C K I N G GET IT //It's the duality. It's the difference in background and how they deal with tragedy and how that's absolutely APPALLING to both, because Leonard, who has and is dealing with a deep sense of wanting to inflict violence on the inside, and Caim, who just wants peace and to have never dealt with any of that on the inside, SEE the other's outward actions doing just the opposite and both are reminded of JUST how much they're trying to ignore that part they see in the other inside of them and how they're trying to put that down and HERE this motherfucker is, just doing it //AND ITS THE SENSE OF SOLIDARITY THESE VERY DIFFERENT PEOPLE FROM VERY DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS GET WHEN THEY SEE THAT, BECAUSE BEYOND LOSING THEIR FAMILY TO THE EMPIRE WHICH BRANG THEM UNDER THE UNION'S CAUSE THEY'RE BOTH OLDER BROTHERS WHO KNOW DEEP DOWN WHAT IT'S LIKE TO FRET OVER AND CARE FOR YOUR YOUNGER SIBLING, OUTSIDE NUMBNESS TO THOSE FEELINGS BY OUTWARD CIRCUMSTANCES BE DAMNED. THEYRE BOTH PART OF A VERY SMALL MINORITY WHO HAVE MADE A PACT, AND EVEN SMALLER OF THE ONES WITH SOME SEMBLENCE OF A MIND LEFT AFTER DOING DO. THAT THEY BOTH CAME OUT OF THEIR TRAUMA AS THE ONLY ONES LEFT FULLY UNTOUCHED AND ARE BOTH STRUGGLING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK TO DO WITH THAT, AND THAT LATER ON THEY BOTH FIND SOMEONE TO CARE FOR IMMENSELY THAT THEY'RE FUNDAMENTALLY INCOMPATIBLE WITH THAT GIVES THEM THEIR REAL SENSE OF WORTH AFTER THE WAR AND THE PROFOUND ISOLATION FROM BEING SO FAR DEEP IN YOUR OWN HEAD AND TRAUMA AND KNOWING THE STUPID PIDDLING WRECK OF A HERMIT OR THE NEEDLESSLY VIOLENT BLOODTHIRSTY CRACKHEAD MERCENARY NEXT TO YOU CAN SHARE IN THAT GRIEF BUT AT THE SAME TIME IS A MIRROR INTO YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU CAN BE THAT YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO SEE //ITS ABOUT THE PROJECTION. IT'S ABOUT THE DIFFERENCES THAT FORCE THEM TO LOOK INTO THEIR OWN SELF AND THEIR INABILITY TO COPE WITH THAT AND WHY THAT MAKES THEM FUCKING HATE EACH OTHER, BUT ALSO THE COMPANY AND RELATABILITY TO EACH OTHER'S POSITIONS THAT DRIVES THEM TO THAT AWKWARD STALEMATE. ITS ABOUT THE MISLED "I CAN FIX HIM"'S MEANING TWISTED BUT WELL-INTENTIONED "I CAN MAKE HIM MORE LIKE ME THE WAY I WANT SO I DON'T HAVE TO BE SCARED ANYMORE" ON BOTH SIDES FROM PEOPLE WHO CAN'T EVEN FIX THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY CAN'T LET GO, AND THEN MY FAVOURITE PART

//HOW THAT RESULTS IN PSYCHICAL VIOLENCE AND/OR LOATHING AND RESENTMENT AND DISGUST. i watch this scene with SUCH yaoi-tinted glasses anon you don't even know

[axellis-archv-2]

hey *takes what was supposed to be just a visualization in case i ever wanted to draw overhallidays place in the future and then spends 4 hours on it

[the-acid-pear]

A MIMIR MUCHACHOS a mimir...

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[pepsitwist]

yeah i’m leaving my job next week HOWEVER it is very fun to know i’m “the wrestling person” here. even though most of my coworkers don’t really know what that means. one of them was hyping me up bc “wrestling night is tomorrow night!!” and that prompted her to show me this thing she was sure i’d love, bc “it’s a wrestling show” and proceeded to show me bully beatdown, that show where bullies get in the octagon with real mma fighters and try to survive a round or two and im like. that’s not EXACTLY the same thing but i appreciate the thought and i DO also enjoy mma fighting and ufc so that kinda counts i guess

[moonlitsnail]

5 day work weeks should be illegal. 8 hr days should be illegal.

[ablednt]

In general though it's nigh impossible figuring out your support needs and where the fuck you fall on anything when you're an abuse survivor because you were always forced to be whatever your abuser(s) wanted you to be.

Like even my therapist thinks I'm so well spoken and fine and barely need help but I'm over here in hell trying to push myself to exhaustion because I never learned to rest I never learned to recognize where I need help

[bittwitchy]

ive been five seconds away from a breakdown every second since the 26th and honestly im gonna keep being five seconds from another breakdown until at least saturday