#i know i am not living through that character necause i dont have a father and am in my bed at 4 AM and slightly hungru
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I'm gonna do it anyway but wtf is the name of that thing you use to stop triggers
#me#text#okay how odes it go#okay#hold on#i am feeling extremely stressed angry scared and rebellious right now#i feel this way bwcause i watched the forst episode of pose where the one guys abusive father and mom kicks him out for being gay#i am feeling trapped amd triggered as well as controlled and at-threwt because of this#i am living through this character vicariously and relovong my own abuse with a small tiny dosing of shame for not having it “wprse” and#more ahame for jot fighting “back” against other injustices in my day to day life.#i do jot meed to protect myself anymore (feels like a lie) and cannot be thrown out#i have rights here. i can leave when i want to. i could go outside right now and be gold as fuck and tored for no reason and be just as fine#i can also resist my parents abuse _ hence their inability or unwilling ess to be as bad as they once were#i am not living in that characters house#i know i am not living through that character necause i dont have a father and am in my bed at 4 AM and slightly hungru#i can feel myself being calmer while i go on#none of this is stupid - this is a reasonable emotional reaction to living through a character and watching harmful events unfold. i have b#been theiugh a lot and i will be okay#i can get out of this house. i will be moving out next year. i will be paying for a storage space and slowly moving my stuff oit so as to#limit the amount of time spent in this house once working#this is worth it to me to not be in this house#i will be fine making $15/hr and will lilely make mlre. i can keep my job and i have additional sources of income as well
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