#i know some of therse may be explained on pottermore but i don't care

[xstick-noodlesx]

My sister and I talked about weird things in the wizarding world (1/?)

@akira-vargas

-the castle is way too big

-the stairs keep moving and I bet every student was late because of that at least once

-candles everywhere are a fire hazard, especially floating ones

-all the dangerous things that Dumbledore keeps should NOT be kept in a school for children or the surrounding woods (eg. trolls, three-headed dogs, giant fuck-off snakes, giant spiders, the stone, …)

-Dumbledore is an irresponsible principal

-he just hires teachers that he likes without any background checks

-he hires Remus and doesn’t check whether or not he goes somewhere safe or takes his potion during full moons

-kids can participate in deadly tournaments

-the “treasures” are literally other children that were basically taken and put on the bottom of a lake

-one of the teachers bullies children to the point that one child’s biggest fear is literally that teacher

-instead of sending kids to normal detention, he has them walk around the dangerous, beast filled forest in the middle of the night

-someone is petrifying students and Dumbledore doesn’t think of sending the students home

-kids could literally fall from the moving staircases if they move while the kids are on them

-talking pictures are creepy and you can’t convince me not at least one of the pictures creeps on the kids

-when Hogwarts presumes Sirius is looking for Harry, they just go along with their day and don’t try to give him extra protection at all

-no phones, sending important messages through owls would take way too long

-the whole Sirius situation proves how incompetent the ministry is and no one – not even Dumbledore – thought twice of locking someone up without proper trial

-they have literal house elve slaves

-the Black family is literally abusing their kids and no one thinks twice about it and why? because they're an old wizard family

-travelling through toilets

-Dumbledore's first instinct after finding little Harry with his parents dead is to give him to his aunt and uncle who he knows hate wizards

-why can’t Harry just bring a gun or a knife or smth to a fight

-why do they have to use feathers and not pens – just the thought of writing my A-Levels with a feather instead of a pen physically pains me

-they don’t use ANY muggle technology like lamps, telephones, etc.

-the only muggle technology they use are like toilets and before that, they literally shat on the floor

-the only prison we ever hear of is Azkaban but imagine going to Azkaban and being in the cell next door to a murderer for stealing an owl

-also, the fact that Azkaban is supposed to be high security and literally every other person breaks out

-are there any people working at Azkaban or do the Dementors cook the meals for the prisoners??

-the only thing the Dementors really do is inconvenience and nearly kill children

-why isn’t time travel used more like if you’re careful it should be fine

-care for magical creatures is way too dangerous for children, it’s like us interacting with wild bears

-the fact that Dobby could block the entrance to the platform 9 ¾  without any problems so that two students couldn’t get to school is “dumb as shit” (quote, my sister); it’s like some random dude coming up to your school, locking the door and keeping you out and no one does anything about it

-why send first years across a lake at night in little boats with only the groundskeeper to supervise them; safety hazard

-they have not enough teachers I feel

-are there only like ten beds for each year for each house? what if there’s one student more?

-the fact that they have to use a password to get into their house

-the fact that the Ravenclaws have to solve a riddle to get into their house so what if someone else just happens to solve the riddle???

-they use the same old hat to sort every student and what if one of the students have lice then every first year after that student will have lice

-how much food gets thrown away every day at Hogwarts???

-are there more wizarding schools than the four we know of? like is there one in Germany? Or Poland? Or Iceland? Or South America? Imagine being an eleven-year-old German child and being sent to Hogwarts and knowing little to no English because, well, you’re an eleven-year-old child

-is there sex ed in Hogwarts??

-Gryffindor wins everything; you can tell they are Dumbledore’s favourites

-the wizarding world basically has the death penalty or the soul-sucking penalty which is just as bad

-prisoners are basically abused and/or neglected when in Azkaban

-they had one detention where a student has to sign autographs late at night with his teacher

-the only competent defence against dark arts teacher gets fired because he transformed into a werewolf on school grounds which is something that Dumbledore should have been able to prevent

-Snape isn’t only bullying children, he also bullies his colleagues and NO ONE gives a frick

-the fact that a little girl died on the school grounds and another student was framed and convicted; none of the teachers faced repercussions because of the negligence

-the fact that that little girl is now a ghost and peeping on other students on the toilets

-the fact that there are no safety measures taken during quidditch?? what if a student falls from their broom??? What if someone gets a bludger to the face???

-why is there a restricted section in the school library??? If the books are dangerous why are they in a school library???

-why does harry get to keep the invisibility cloak??

-don’t they have PE for like the students that don’t want to play a dangerous broom flying sport??

-why is there a literal roller coaster with a dragon down in the bank basement??? Why is it such an inconvenience to get some money from the bank???

-the houses themselves make no sense?? Like personalities can change??

-some student died during the tournament and there are no repercussions?? No one is sued??? No one is angry at Dumbledore or the other headmasters???

-what if you need to talk to Dumbledore but don’t know his stupid office password??

-why do they have one book that just screams at you when you open it???

-or a book that tries to eat you as soon as you open it??? And you need to like pet it to open it

-why is everyone angry that one of the teachers is a werewolf but no one cares about giant squids, murderous mermaids in the lake, giant spiders, giant snakes, etc??

-if I was a parent and my child would be bullied by Snape you can bet your butt that I’d have him fired

-Dumbledore is constantly encouraging Harry’s reckless behaviour

-the fact that you have to get parental permission to go to Hogsmeade

-how is a cat or a toad supposed to bring you your mail??

-why can every student bring a pet?? That seems like such a mess to me. What if I’m allergic to cat hair and my roommate has a cat?? What if his cat murders my owl??

-why are the Weasleys allowed to bring a rat?

-why is no one talking about how Peter Pettigrew was literally sleeping in the same bed as an eleven-year-old boy as a rat??

-the owls are in little cages??

-the fact that students get to turn their animals into objects should count as animal abuse

-why are there so many cats but not a single litter box?

-did the other cats try to get with McGonaggal??

-why did the school allow the Ministry to literally slaughter Buckbeak on school property?

-there was a cell at the ready for Sirius at Hogwarts and they talk about dungeons under the school? Why? it’s a school for children

-has a student ever walked in on McGonaggal while she was licking her own butthole?

-did she take part in the cats movie? And was she part of the butthole cut??

-am I allowed to bring Mr Mistoffelees, a magical cat, to school with me?

-the fact that Madame Hooch left all the kids alone with their brooms to take care of Neville

-how can a giant squid survive in a literal lake?

-were they planning on basically executing Sirius on school grounds?

-do they have a police force that takes care of minor crimes like shoplifting?

-do they have wheelchair ramps at Hogwarts? Do people get to bring their seeing-eye dog

-the long staircases to the towers

-why is the Slytherin house literally underground? Like no sunlight?

-Having houses only encourages bullying

-can I get a normal job or university place with my Hogwarts degree?

[xstick-noodlesx]

My sister and I talked about weird things in the wizarding world (2/?)

@ladyliljax

-why are actual schoolchildren expected to fight Voldemort??

-why can’t people say the name ‘Voldemort’ like what kind of weird superstition is it that he will come back if you say the name??

-why was there no army established to fight Voldemort and his Deatheaters after the fist wizarding war??

-why do the centaurs live in the woods? They are basically as smart as humans??? Why can’t they hold a normal job???

-is there an option for religious students to pray? Is the only holiday celebrated Christmas???

-why don’t the wizards conjure up food for hungry people???

-is astrology science??

-were Dumbledore and Grindlewald like blood brothers? Were they banging? And if yes why would you be the blood brother with the person you were banging????

-I get that Dumbledore couldn’t kill Grindlewald but he could have helped??? He could have found him or something??

-Jude Law’s Dumbledore wears a nice three-piece suit? When did Dumbledore ditch the three-piece suits in favour of bedazzled robes???

-Dumbledore looks like those wizards you see on the side of vans. Did he use those as inspiration or was it the other way around?

-why did My Immortal do more for gay representation than the actual book series???

-why is My Immortal’s Dumbledore a more consequent and responsible principal that actually enforces rules???

-why was My Immortal able to predict the way they would defeat Voldemort? Was JKR reading My Immortal for inspiration???

-why did Ebony from My Immortal use the time travelling device for better reasons than people in the actual books?

-why didn’t Hermione and Harry come up with a plan before using the time turner? They could have maybe captured Peter Pettigrew and spared Sirius for real??

-I feel like their time travelling adventure is a little like the grandfather paradox, or am I the only one??

-why are people so discriminatory against minorities like giants, centaurs, werewolves, house-elves????

-and I know I mention this too much but it still irks me that everyone is fine with giant spiders, killer mermaids, giant quids, dangerous tournaments, flying a broom into the sky even during thunderstorms, etc, but a werewolf being a teacher is where they draw the line?? Like if Remus was a safety concern due to his lycanthropy than surely they need to get rid of Quidditch, too, because that seems much more dangerous to me

-is there only one wizard bank? Are there no ATMs? What if I need money but I’m at Hogwarts? Do I need to travel there on a day off to get my money? Can my parents pick it up or do I need to be there in person??

-I know I’ve mentioned it before but how does a giant squid survive in a little clear water lake? Aren’t they saltwater animals?

-why were they planning on having the Dementors kiss Sirius for something they couldn’t prove but they never did the same to Bellatrix for example?? Where is the line that you need to cross to be kissed by a Dementor??

-after capturing Sirius for a second time they just decide to give him the soul-sucking penalty all willy-nilly without a process???

-Harry basically saved Dudley’s life but they wanted to expel him anyway???

-why aren’t more things on fire if there are real-life dragons??? And who thought keeping dragons in the forbidden forest during the tournament would be a good idea?? Probably dumbledore

-Don’t muggles see the dragons from time to time?? Or the centaurs or something???

-why do the werewolves need to register and are then mistreated? I wouldn’t get registered if I knew I’d be mistreated???

-or why do you need to be registered as an animagus? Who cares???

-can you homeschool your wizard kids? Because I’d rather homeschool my kids than sending them to Hogwarts??

-this may sound weird BUT if lycanthropy is contracted via a bite that means it is in the saliva, right?? Does that mean it’s contracted overall bodily fluids, like blood or genital fluids??? Why didn’t Tonks become a werewolf when she kissed Remus??? Is it only contagious if he is a werewolf at the time?? If he bites someone as a human are they fine???

-why are the Weasley’s all red-headed? Why is every second character’s mom a redhead??

-why did the make the guy who was supposed to be an HIV analogy straight??

-why couldn’t Remus raise harry?? Like I get he’s a werewolf but once a month he could get a baby sitter? And I get that he’s poor but Dumbledore and Hogwarts could have supported him???

-why is Snape still employed??

-why doesn’t get Trewlany get a house or a flat from the money she earns at Hogwarts?? Why does she live there full time?? Does Dumbledore pay them that little??

-we said it in the first part, but why are there so few teachers? You don’t hire ONE teacher to teach ONE subject. You normally have like two or three teachers for one subject and one teacher normally teaches like two or three subjects??? How does the school schedule work if you have that few teachers???

-why is there a class taught at midnight in the astrology tower???

-what happens if I accidentally kill an animagus in the animal form?? What if I step on a rat animagus?? Do they turn back to humans after death?? Does your foot rise when you have the rat guy under your foot?

-and if you kill an animagus in pet form without knowing they’re human, like eg shooting a stag during a hunt and it turns out it was James Potter all along, are you a murderer? Do you go to Azkaban??

-how was Peter able to sneak into a family and then into Hogwarts without anyone knowing that it was him? didn’t Sumbledore know that James, Sirius and Peter were animagi? Didn’t Minerva know?? She was one too??

-what family just picks up a random rat and decides that it’s their pet now??

-Sirius snuck out as a dog? Did the dementors not question why there was a dog in prison?? Shouldn’t they be able to tell?

-did Remus give Sirius a flea bath after he escaped from Azkaban??

-why didn’t Fred and George question a guy named Peter Pettigrew always SITTING on their brother and sleeping in his bed with him?

-Scabbers sometimes slept in bed with Ron, right? Why didn’t Peter just go somewhere else during the night?? Why did he stay with Ron?? Was he a creep??

-can you buy birth control in Hogsmeade? Or do you go to Madame Pomfrey for it?? Or is there a spell for that?

-can they use the Accio spell to get Nagini or the medallion? Or does that not work?

-what if you die wearing the invisibility cloak? Do they just lie on the ground, undetected until someone happens to bump into them???

-how big is the invisibility cloak? I feel like it varies

-why did no one else try to outsmart Death like the three brothers? You could get some sick stuff from that??

-so the students fought in the battle of Hogwarts?? Like I get if a seventeen-year-old decides to fight but what about all the first years?? Did they have to fight???

-were the Marauders furries? Do furries in the wizarding world actively try to become werewolves?

-is your Patronus your fursona??

-were Voldemort and Nagini in a relationship??? Like she was a woman before she turned into a snake???

-is there a black market for wands??

-how long does it realistically take for someone to find their wand? There are so many wands at Ollivander's?? Did Harry get lucky after like the fourth try?? Do other kids take way longer??

-what if no wand wants you??

-what happens if your pet dies in Hogwarts? Do you get to bury your pet??

-why do people still use Snape’s past to justify his actions? Just because he was bullied and had a rough home life doesn’t make it okay for him to bully his co-workers and the students? And do all the other messed up stuff he did?

-how did Lockhart get away with all his stuff?? Did no one ever ask him to perform the magic he claims he can do???

-why are there so many weird obstacles to overcome to get to the philosophers stone?? Like a giant chess board?? Flying keys?? Just put a trap door in front of it to trap whoever tries to steal it

-why is identity theft so easy in the wizarding world?

-why don’t they have credit cards?

-why is their currency so weird?? Is there someone who exchanges real-life money for magic money? Like for muggle-born students?? They need gold to pay, right?