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ink-and-flame · 4 years

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Intensity Guarded

Kinktober Day 16 Prompts: Massage (receiving) ~ Forced nudity (around others) ~ Praise (verbal) Fandom: Original [Auchendale Universe] Tags: exophilia, massage, praise, Dom/sub, rough oral sex, angst Pairing: Orc(m)/Human(f), Darnok/Lia, Gorvaal/Lia

[Authors Note: Due to my old wrist issue acting up pretty bad I ended up not finishing Kinktober. I still have the prompts and I will be doing them for NaNoWriMo, along with some other short stories I had planned. Once this is posted hopefully I can finish up the series soon, but there might be some other stories posted in between the chapters. That being said. Hang onto ya butts, it's gonna be a wild ride.]

After the event Lia was both physically and emotionally exhausted. Darnok had taken her back to the hotel that night and all thoughts of the word Taledras was pushed from her mind as he showed his appreciation for her throughout the night. There was a level of passion, intensity, even possessiveness to the way Darnok took her that night. It went beyond their usual scene play, even beyond how their sex normally felt. If Lia didn’t know better, she would think there was a level of desperation to it, something she had never felt from him before.

There was no sleep to be had, even though she was tired to her core, she could not say no to Darnok when he expressed his need to have her. The sun was streaming through the curtains as Lia fell back against the pillows exhausted. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to drive home after this, and she honestly felt like she could sleep for a week once she got there. She smiled at Darnok who had the strangest look in his eyes.

If Lia wasn’t mistaken he looked worried or afraid, but that made no sense to her and she just leaned up giving him a kiss before scooting out of the bed and hobbling to the bathroom to get clean. If she had work the next day, she would have thought about complaining that she could barely move. As it was, she honestly would do it again if given the chance. Being so thoroughly fucked put her in a great mood even if her body protested.

The shower was quick, she didn’t want to hog all the hot water and knew it was probably past time for Darnok to leave. She dressed in the spare clothes she brought and waited for him to finish. He took a little longer than expected but Lia was all smiles when he stepped out of the bathroom. His body was always a sight to take in, and freshly showered was no exception. Even in a casual and relaxed state he was impressive. So very handsome and sexy. It had changed how Lia saw men. None could really compare to him and she had a hard time finding humans attractive at all anymore.

With her lover standing before her, Lia wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him with a smile, placing a small kiss on his hairy chest and nuzzling her face there. His arms around her felt perfect and right and Lia found she did not want to let go. Part of her was tempted to invite him to her home, but that was a line she still wasn’t sure she could cross.

“I know you need to leave, and I need to get home, but this really was wonderful.” Lia smiled and tugged Darnok down so she could kiss him.

Darnok stroked her face and kissed her forehead. “I can’t wait to see you again, it might be a couple weeks, I will have to check our schedule again.”

“That's ok. I know we sometimes have to take longer breaks. I don’t mind.” Lia laughed. “I may need the time off after all that.”

Darnok chuckled and hugged Lia picking her up. Even as worry filled him and threatened to overwhelm him. He was waiting for the other shoe that he knew was coming. For now he had to do his best to pretend everything was ok as he braced himself for the inevitable fall out. Every time he was with Lia it made him question some of his life choices. There was a part of him, a small part but it was getting louder every day, that wanted to forget his life and run away with her.

Lia meant so much more to him than he was willing to admit. It was well past too far and he knew the mistakes he had already made. The promises he had already broken. Yet there was something about Lia that made him willing to compromise himself. This last event threatened to destroy the careful balance he had created and the way others looked at Lia, it drove him mad. Now, more than ever, he could lose her. The idea of anyone having her this way, in any way, it made something ugly rise up inside of him.

Jealousy? Possessiveness? Darnok wasn’t sure what to name it, but both words fit. He wanted Lia to be his and only his. Yet he knew this desire to be unfair. Mostly to her. He had longed to tell her the truth, to be honest with her, but the way she looked at him. She adored him, he could see it in her eyes. The truth would take that away. She would mean less to him, and eventually she would move on to someone who could actually give her everything. Not just as a dominant, but as a partner.

Darnok knew the hug had probably gone on a little too long, but he was reluctant to let her go. He smiled and kissed her again, letting it linger, wanting to take her right back to that bed and have her all over again, but he couldn’t.

“Oh Lia, you are such a little temptress. If I don’t let you go now, I never will”

“Well, we could stay?” Lia offered

Darnok could see the small bit of hope in her eyes and he hated knowing he had to crush it. “If I could Lia, we would already be back in that bed. You in my arms, your body against mine.”

“I know, I know, we both have lives outside of this. Maybe in a few months we can take another vacation? Or next year?”

That was a plan he could get behind. If he didn’t do it too often, it could be easily worked into his schedule. “That is a perfect idea, but it will have to wait, we haven’t been back from the last one long enough I am afraid. But I can start planning. Did you want to help or should it be a surprise?”

She was so cute when concentrating and Darnok couldn’t stop smiling at her. It was clear that Lia was really putting thought into the question and not just jumping at an answer. Weighing the options. Both had clear benefits and either worked for him, he was curious what she would choose.

“You know what. As much as I love to plan things and I want to feel like I have some control, even a little. I think I want you to surprise me.” Lia admitted seeming surprised with her own answer.

“Then I will surprise you. Though we have plenty of time. It is ok if you change your mind, but you can’t change it once any tickets have been purchased. I will let you know before I start booking things that way we can revisit ok?”

Darnok stroked her face and smiled when she agreed. Watching her grab her bag and walk out was hard, but he knew he had to let her. It was getting close to check out time and as it was, he would be late getting back home. Something he was sure to hear about once there.

When she got home Lia was too tired to think and she forced herself to eat something before crawling into bed. Her sleep schedule was a mess after that and it took her a week to straighten it back out. It also took about that long for that nagging feeling in her head to have a voice and she suddenly remembered what the orc had said. What was a Taledras and how did Darnok have one.

Was it something significant? Well, she had a computer and the internet so she would just look it up. It sounded elvish, so she assumed it was something important or at least expensive. Though the more she searched it seemed like it was a person, or people. An influential and old fae family had the last name Taledras, so she had been close with the elvish but not quite. Maybe it was a political thing and he had one in his pocket. That would be something. Having someone from an influential fae family owing you meant you had power and a lot of it.

Lia did feel a little guilty. As tempted as she had been in the past, she never looked Darnok up. She didn’t want to invade his privacy. If he wanted her to know something he would tell her and she understood him wanting to keep some of his life separate. Now she was prying and while it didn’t feel good, that little nagging voice wouldn’t let her stop.

The search continued turning up information that only led to more questions. She only had to assume it was political. She was ready to stop her search until she saw a picture. One with Darnok in it. He looked so incredibly handsome in his suit, striking really, standing there posed. Though she felt a twinge when she looked closer. At first the woman next to him just appeared to be standing by him, but upon inspection Lia could see her arm hooked around his.

The woman was very clearly fae. Tall, with a lithe form. Her eyes seemed otherworldly, almost glowing. The delicate almost crystal looking antlers sprouting from her head. She didn’t even appear to be standing in the photo, more floating, but that was probably Lia’s imagination. She was beyond what a word like beautiful could convey and Lia’s heart began to break. There was a familiarity with how the woman had her arm looped in Darnok’s. It was clear that they were a couple by the way they stood, the way the photo was framed. There was no caption to indicate their relationship, but Lia could feel it just by looking at the photo.

This was what Darnok was hiding. This was what he was keeping separate. Lia had long suspected that he was in a relationship, but the trip and everything after made her rethink that. Now she was back to being lost and confused. If he was in a relationship, then why did he still go to the club? What kind of relationship did he have that allowed this. It had to, and small things started to make sense.

He must have some kind of agreement with her. Something that allowed him to continue with her, but it was still confusing and it hurt. By the gods above and below it hurt. Lia pushed away from her computer and walked out to her living room just sitting on her couch as her mind ran circles in her head. She stared at the wall for hours, just thinking, just letting her mind wander over every conversation she and Darnok had.

All the signs had been there, all the little things. It was why she had suspected that he was in a relationship in the first place. All of his little hesitations, the way he kept her at emotional arms length. How he sometimes spoke to her. Lia was his sub, yes, but that was all. He didn’t love her, it was just sex. Domination and sex.

The sun was rising, peeking through the windows. Lia had not slept. She only sat on her couch, her mind racing as her thoughts swirled. She was more hurt than angry, but the anger was there. The anger was easier and she gripped it hard. If sex was all it was, then sex was all it would ever be. Lia had to find a way to accept that and move on. Clearly Darnok was not who she thought he was and she had to find a way to heal.

First, she had to let him know that she knew, but what if she was wrong. What if her eyes were seeing things that weren’t there. Maybe it wasn’t a relationship and she was just looking for evidence of something already convinced she would find it so her mind filled in the gaps. Yes she suspected he was in a relationship, but really she had no proof. Considering everything she knew of Darnok it was possible the woman was a business partner of some sort or just someone who was powerful like he was.

Lia had learned a little about Darnok during her search and he was indeed quite rich and powerful. She didn’t understand most of it and wanted to retain some privacy so she did not dig. It was possible it was a social thing, something where powerful families simply did things together. Maybe being seen together was all that was needed and there really was nothing there.

Somehow, out of sheer desperation and a need to protect herself. Lia had managed to calm herself down and convince herself that the relationship she imagined was just that, one she imagined. She would give Darnok the chance to be honest with her and if he wasn’t in a relationship then maybe there was still a chance for them. He did want to take her on vacation, there was no way he would do that if he were already taken.

Being sleep deprived helped. Lia managed to push enough of her stress out of her mind to take a hot bath and a nap, waking up feeling somewhat refreshed but melancholy. A feeling that managed to linger the next few days as she went through the motions of work and life. The weekend was approaching quickly and for once Lia was not enthusiastic. Something her coworkers noticed but said nothing about.

By the time the weekend arrived she was looking for any excuse that she could use to get her out of going to the club, but nothing sounded real enough and she knew Darnok would easily see through her lies. She wasn’t ready to confront him, to tell him she snooped or about what she had found and where her mind went. There was a small part of her convinced that the relationship was real and she was just trying to protect herself. If she never confronted him, then she never had to worry about reality and everything would be ok.

Arriving at the club Lia felt strangely at ease and found it calming somehow. She stepped into the lounge and had a drink while she chatted with Lucien, Zane, and Ember. Everything seemed normal and Lia felt calmer than she had in days. Leaning on Ember and laughing while Zane tried to get Lucien to join in with the laughter. It was fun, and even when Darnok showed up, Lia had expected all the fun to die but it didn’t. Instead it felt normal. As if nothing was different at all.

Lia sat with Darnok, smiling. They chatted quietly as people passed in and out of the lounge. She turned when Lucien spoke, addressing them both.

“So what is on the menu today? I know we had a delightful time at the event, but small scenes can be just as good, or are we just going to sit in the lounge and talk all night?”

“Well, Gorvaal will be coming by tonight. I had promised him a scene with Lia here. I am not sure if it will be public or not.”

Lia didn’t remember anything about doing a scene with Gorvaal. The other orc was attractive, but she barely knew him. Maybe all the stress had made her forget something they had planned and Lia felt a little bad. She wanted to disagree, find a way to get out of it, but she didn’t want to be a bad sub. Didn’t want to give Darnok a reason to be disappointed in her.

Instead she remained silent and looked around the lounge to see if the other orc was there. It was possible he wasn’t a VIP so they would need to leave the lounge to meet him. For now she tried to relax but couldn’t seem to.

“What scene were we going to do?” Lia asked

Darnok smiled and stroked her cheek. “Gorvaal was so impressed by you at the event he insisted on having some time with you. You are to be fully nude for the scene, that was something he would not budge on, but I know you prefer to take your experiences slowly when they are new to you. He will touch you, but I have made it clear that there will be no sex unless you really want it.”

Lia felt relief wash over her. She would have at least a little control over what was happening in the scene. Being naked wasn’t so bad, but she wasn’t sure why it was insisted upon if she didn’t need to have sex. Of course non-sexual nudity had been a theme in their scenes a few times so it wasn’t entirely unusual. Though it made her wonder what Gorvaal could possibly want if not sex?

Soon enough Lia would find out when Darnok led her from the lounge to one of the back rooms on the other side of the club. It was similar to the room they had used that first night, but set up a little differently. Gorvaal was already there, sitting in a chair with a charming smile. He really was quite handsome, differently so from Darnok, but his frame was just as powerful.

Gorvaal stood and greeted them both. “I am honored that you would allow me a scene with your lovely little sub. She was a surprise to me, that is certain. I did not know humans could handle orcish lovers so well. I am impressed with you little one.”

Lia was flattered and felt her skin flush at the compliment. She felt weirdly shy, considering that she had done scenes with others before, this felt different somehow and she felt kind of like she did the first time she met Darnok. She could feel her skin heating up with the flush that was covering her now. For some reason her nipples were already hard. Maybe she just had a thing for orcs. He wasn’t Darnok, but Gorvaal was incredibly handsome.

He stood just as tall as Darnok, and seemed just as broad. While Dar was a bit softer around the middle, it seemed there wasn’t a bit of fat on Gorvaal’s muscular frame. His thick hair was long and pulled back from his face. Some of it was loose down his back, the rest was in braids with decorations in it. He was too clothed for Lia to get a better look at his body, but his voice. Did all orcs have voices so deep you felt it in your core? It certainly seemed like it. She was certain just listening to the two of them talk could probably get her there. Maybe it was something they would be willing to test out.

As it was, Lia was uncertain what would be expected of her and couldn’t seem to get past her nerves enough to speak. She let Darnok handle things, which wasn’t all that common. Yes he was the dom, but when they were working out a scene she was always free to give her input. For some reason Lia struggled to speak. She felt shy, nervous, uncertain. As handsome as Gorvaal was, something about him put her a little on edge. It was probably just his size and how intense and formal he seemed compared to how relaxed Darnok was.

Darnok could sense that Lia was nervous, or more it was just obvious to him. He knew her body language well and he wasn't sure why, other than Gorvaal being an orc. Everyone else she had done a scene with was smaller than him except Lucien who was taller but more lithe. Or it was just that Gorvaal was new and not someone she was used to seeing in the club the way the others were. He placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently.

“Lia, be a good girl and strip down for us, then I will help you onto the table ok?”

Lia looked around the room and noticed there was a massage table off to one side. She nodded, not wanting to disobey Darnok or seem like an unruly sub so early on. Stepping away from the two orcs Lia moved over near the storage basket at the back of the room. She noticed both males followed and glanced at them before beginning to strip. She dropped her shoes in the basket, then tugged off her shirt. Lia made a show of stripping each bit of clothing off and running her hands over her body as she revealed it to both the orcs watching her. She could see the hunger in Darnok’s eyes mirrored by Gorvaal and Lia felt powerful and sexy. To have two strong, and clearly powerful individuals desiring her was a heady thought and it helped her to forget some of her worries from before.

Once stripped she moved over to the table, looking for a way to get up on it that wouldn’t make her look graceless and clumsy. Darnok stepped over and helped her onto the table, lifting her and placing a kiss on her cheek as he let her get settled in. Lia felt cherished and loved in that moment. Nuzzling at his face she settled on the table laying face down, assuming that was what she needed to do, but didn’t relax just incase she was wrong.

“Good girl.” Darnok stroked a large hand over her ass, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I am going to sit in that chair over there. You can call me if you need me, but Gorvaal is going to be the one touching you. He is going to give you a nice massage. I hope you let yourself enjoy it Lia.”

She lifted her head and looked at him curiously. Not sure what he meant by that. Did he think she was going to turn down a massage just because she didn’t really know the orc giving it, or was there more to this than she realized? Settling back down, she decided not to look this particular gift horse too hard in the mouth. As far as she was concerned this was going to be an easy and relaxing session, something she really needed.

A pleasant hum escaped her as she felt large warm hands stroke over her skin. Gorvaal was just petting her gently, his hands teasing her skin lightly. It felt nice, warming her a bit. She heard a small click and figured he had some massage oil. When it hit her skin she was pleasantly surprised that it was nice and hot. It helped relax her even more as she felt the heated oil slide across her skin. It wasn’t as intense as hot wax, but still warm enough that it had just the edge of a sting to it, something Lia liked.

The feel of Gorvaal’s big strong hands stroking over her skin made her shiver a bit. He was gentle, and not gripping her too hard as he worked over her back and shoulders. Slowly the pressure increased until she was moaning. He was strong enough that there was just the barest edge of pain, but it hurt in a good way and Lia found herself relaxing deeply. Her little sounds of pleasure seemed loud in the otherwise silent room, but she was too relaxed now to feel self conscious about it.

“So beautiful, such soft skin, you are an exquisite little human.”

As his hands slid down, Lia found herself enjoying it even more. When he gently groped and massaged her rear she had to fight the urge to lift her hips a bit in preparation for a spanking. Slowly she began to feel arousal as his hands smoothed over her thighs and she spread her legs more, revealing herself to him. Her calves hurt the most and his firm massage helped ease the soreness there, by the time he hit her feet, Lia was practically boneless.

As Gorvaal’s hands moved back up her thighs, Lia spread her legs more. This time he massaged her inner thighs, and she could feel his thumbs brushing her outer lips. The touch was light, it almost felt accidental until he did it again a bit more firmly. This time his thumbs made her lips and folds part slightly to reveal her opening. By the third time, she could feel and hear how wet she was just by the sound and her face flushed. Now she could hear his breathing, it was heavier and she squirmed as one thumb swiped over her wet folds before his hands pulled away from her.

“Roll onto your back, now it is time for the other side.” Gorvaal rumbled.

Lia obeyed, but it was a little bit of a struggle to move as she was almost too relaxed. She managed to catch a glimpse of him licking his thumb and her cheeks flushed even darker. Settled onto her back Lia looked up at him with curious eyes. Her legs were now together again, but her hard nipples made her continued arousal obvious. She wiggled a bit on the table as Gorvaal’s eyes roamed over her body. The hunger in those eyes was even more intense than before and Lia felt her breath quicken just slightly.

“So well behaved, such beauty. You are so sweet, so desirable, do you have any idea what you are doing to me?”

This time he started at her feet, working his way up her calves again, and over the tops of her thighs. His thumbs brushed over her mound briefly, but he moved onto her hips and gently up her stomach not using much pressure at all. Once he reached her breasts she noticed that he was aroused. Straining against his pants as his thumbs brushed over her nipples. She moaned and arched into his touch slightly, but forced herself still. She wasn’t sure what reactions were allowed and wanted to look to Darnok for guidance.

Turning her head she saw him, watching her with the most intense gaze she had ever seen. There was something raw, almost possessive in how he watched them. His eyes lingered on her body, but then they would glance at Gorvaal and if Lia didn’t know better she would swear there was something like jealousy in Darnok’s eyes.

Gorvaal’s touch distracted her as his hands roamed back down to her thighs after he teased her nipples. She found herself spreading her legs at his gentle nudging and his thumbs rubbed over her folds again. This time he stroked just a little more firmly and Lia could feel herself tingling and wanting to arch into it. The more he rubbed her the more her clit began to throb. As he pushed her legs open a little more she whimpered. His thick fingers only massaged her outer lips and folds. He never pushed inside and he didn’t rub her clit.

“Ah, yes, perfect, you obey even the smallest, most subtle of signals. Your enjoyment and pleasure arouse me little one. Do not hide how you are feeling. Let me see you, see all of you.” Gorvaal lavished Lia with praise as he rubbed over her body.

Lia began to feel needy and was close to begging but stopped herself. She turned and looked at Darnok. His hand was palming his crotch as he watched them and Lia felt her desire spike even higher. This time she couldn’t stop her hips from arching off the table when Gorvaal’s thumbs spread her folds open. Lia could feel her own arousal drip from her core and out of her. Her eyes were shut tight for a moment as she tried to calm herself.

Opening them she saw Darnok stroking his cock and she moaned loudly, spreading her legs open even further as her clit throbbed. She whimpered and looked up at Gorvaal who was watching her curiously. She chewed her bottom lip and lowered her hips back to the table trying not to seem as desperate as she felt. His gentle deep laugh both warmed her and made her feel a little sheepish.

“Eager little one? I did not want to push too far. Would you like for me to do more?” Gorvaal turned to look at Darnok. “I think he would enjoy your pleasure. I will only use my hands, as promised.”

Lia hesitated and then nodded. She was blushing harder now. Something about Gorvaal making her feel shy and hew. She honestly expected him to go straight for it but he didn’t. He continued to just rub over her hips and thighs, his thumbs occasionally rubbing her outer lips spreading them a bit. She was confused and her expression mirrored her thoughts.

“Look at him little one, look at your dominant. He needs to see your face. You will get no pleasure until you do.”

Turning her head she looked at Dar, his gaze so intense she felt almost burned by it. Her breath quickened as she watched him, watching them. His large hand stroking his thick cock slowly. His arousal and need is clear to her. She wanted him, she needed him inside her. She couldn’t stop the whimper in her throat as just seeing him like this made her core clench hard.

Her whimpers turned to moans as Gorvaal’s hands pushed her thighs open wider. This time he used his fingers to stroke over her slick folds and finally brushed near her clit. He didn’t even have to touch it directly and she was arching off the table. He rubbed around it, only grazing the sides gently. She had been teased before but never like this.

Gorvaal took as much care massaging her intimately as he had done for the rest of her body. There did not seem to be any rush and he was clearly content to continue to tease her. His thumbs rubbing her folds as he used his fingers to slide on either side of her clit. Fearing punishment Lia kept her gaze on Darnok. Though she wanted to close her eyes and arch into the touch, or beg for more.

When Gorvaal finally ran his thumb over her clit, Lia almost came. She was close, right on the edge. Her hips arched up hard, and she cried out loudly. Her eyes closed for just a moment, but thankfully she was not punished. She watched as Darnok sped up, clearly close as well. She held back, waiting, not only for him, but for permission to cum. She wasn’t sure she was allowed to cum. Though she would disobey just to hit her release at the same time as Dar.

She needed more, wanted more and Lia whimpered and rolled her hips into Gorvaal’s gentle yet firm touch. She was panting slightly from the effort of not cumming each time he brushed her clit with his thumb. Each touch was a bit more firm and lasted just a bit longer.

“I am so impressed with you. I can tell you are on edge, ready for release. You have neither begged nor cum without permission yet. Are you waiting for your dom to give you permission?”

Lia whimpered and glanced up at Gorvaal then back at Darnok. She wasn’t sure if she was allowed to answer and her distress became clear.

“Lia my darling. You may cum when your body is ready. I give you permission. I love seeing your pleasure. It arouses every part of me.” Darnok growled as he stroked himself, holding back his own release. “Cum for us my dearest. Show us your pleasure.”

There was no stopping it now. Lia was on edge already, her pleasure reaching its peak as she felt almost overwhelmed by the experience. Watching Darnok but not able to touch him was a new kind of torture. Being uncertain if she could cum but feeling the need reminded her of the wager, a torture she wasn’t ready to repeat but did enjoy in small doses. When Gorvaal’s thumb rubbed up and pressed on her clit she couldn’t stop herself.

Lia arched off the table and came with a loud cry. Her thighs were shaking as she felt herself squirting just a little bit. Her eyes opened in time to see Darnok find his own release, his grunt of pleasure making her tingle. Lia was desperate for more. One orgasm simply wasn’t enough. She still felt her core clenching, her clit throbbing as she arched again, needing to feel more. Turning her head she caught Darnok’s eyes. She could see that he too was still aroused. Turning she looked up at Gorvaal and saw that his arousal was probably more intense than her’s or Darnok’s as he was the only one to not find release. She blushed as he licked his fingers with a smile.

“What a lovely sweet taste you have Lia, I wonder if you would allow me more?”

She looked to Darnok who nodded and she spread her legs for Gorvaal. She was a bit surprised at his enthusiasm. Only a few had ever been so eager to do this. Most men from her past had to be convinced or bribed into it which dampened the pleasure. But like Darnok, Gorvaal seemed to genuinely enjoy the act, moaning as he lapped over her folds and pushed his tongue inside of her.

Soon she was rolling her hips against his face as he licked and sucked on her clit. It wouldn't take her long to find her release this was. She was still eager, still needed penetration, but Gorvaal’s tongue was damn near magical. She hadn’t felt anything quite like it, heavy and thick and so flexible.

When he sucked on her clit Lia was lost, crying out again with her release. Her hips arching and rolling against his face, her fluids coating his chin as she begged for more. She whimpered and whined loudly when he pulled away and reached for him without thinking. Movement from the corner of her eye caught her attention as Lia turned and saw Darnok stand.

“We have been rude dearest Lia. You have enjoyed yourself, but our guest has not. Perhaps you can show him just how talented your own oral skills are?”

Lia could see how eager Gorvaal looked. She was still aroused and if she did this maybe she would be rewarded with penetration. She nodded, looking at both orcs. “How do you need me?”

“Here, let me help you.” Darnok had removed his clothing as they had been speaking, clearly coming to a decision.

He walked over to her on the table and gently tugged her up so that her head was hanging off of it. Adjusting the height of the table so that either orc could easily penetrate her throat. Darnok gestured for Gorvaal to come over.

“I know you saw her performance at the event, and I know how tempting it is. A human that can take an orc in their mouth. I assure you. She can. Go ahead. I know her signals, I will watch to make sure she stays safe.”

Darnok gestured to Gorvaal to go ahead and remove his clothes and step to the front of the table. He kept a close eye on Lia, wanting to be sure that she was ok with what was happening. She had seemed nervous before, which was a concern, but now she seemed eager. That made something ugly rise within him. As much as he loved watching her pleasure, there was a bit of a twist within him seeing someone else cause it.

Made worse by the fact that it was another orc. He felt that jealous possessive feeling rise in him again, knowing full well how much trouble it meant that he felt it at all. He was trying to fix this, correct it before it became too late, and this was the only way he knew how. Swallowing his own jealousy, Darnok braced himself to watch his Lia be used for pleasure by another.

Keeping a close eye on Lia, Dar watched as Gorvaal rubbed the tip of his cock against her lips. A slow tease to get her to open up. It was different. Watching someone else do this. Even if he had seen it before. She had performed oral sex on others, he had watched, and it hadn’t made him feel like this. Maybe it was because Gorvaal was a powerful orc, someone with high standing among the clans, someone that would be considered a rival had he been courting Lia. Either way, Darnok had to work to keep his expression neutral and his emotions in check. If Lia Sensed any distress from him she could unintentionally be hurt.

Lia stayed in position, despite it making her a little dizzy to have her head like this. She knew this position would make it easier to take the orc in her throat and she wanted to show Darnok what a good sub she was. Also, if she was really pushed to admit it, Lia was a little excited. This was her first time with an orc that wasn’t Dar and she was curious how it would make her feel. If all of her excitement was tied into her emotional attachment, or if maybe she just had a thing for orcs.

When Gorvaal teased her lips with his cock, she opened her mouth obediently and lapped at the head of his cock. Her tongue sliding over the tip, tasting the wetness there. It was salty, tangy, a taste she strangely enjoyed and only wanted more of. When his cock started to slide into her mouth Lia squirmed ever so slightly. She was still aroused, still wanted more for herself, and she knew this would only make that worse.

Lia had found that she loved doing this, taking her partners in orally. She had a bit of a growing fetish for it and when her and Darnok practiced to get her to take more, it always got her so excited. This was no exception and she was thrilled to be able to show off her skills. She had not been able to take much when she first met Darnok, now, she could take him to the base of his cock, and hold it. There was something about it, something that sparked arousal in her. To be able to take so much, it almost seemed impossible.

As Gorvaal pushed into her throat slowly Lia moaned around him, knowing the soft vibrations would tease and excite him, well she hoped they would, they always did for Darnok. She could almost sense his excitement with how he paused, and the grunt that escaped him. Soon he was pushing in less gently and she knew to stay relaxed and breathe carefully through her nose.

Lia was patient, remaining still as Gorvaal carefully worked his cock in and out of her mouth. She could easily take more, but it was clear he was trying to be careful. Wanting to show off a bit she swirled her tongue around the head when he pulled back, and moaned louder when he pushed in. She sucked on his cock the deeper he pushed and swallowed once he was in her throat, so he could feel it tightening around him. She would have smirked when his hips snapped forward suddenly, but her mouth was far too stretched. Clearly she had pushed his control a bit and he was now struggling to keep from getting too rough.

Darnok smiled slightly as he watched his companion struggling to maintain his control while using Lia’s mouth. He knew from experience just how difficult it was not to give into that desire to thrust. How hot and wet her mouth was, how tight her throat felt. His own cock was hard, listening to her moan, remembering how it felt. He wanted that for himself, but he could be patient. Placing a hand on her thigh he squeezed, letting her know he was there, stroking her skin, praising her without words.

“Don’t worry Gorvaal, Lia can take quite a bit. I am proud of how far she has come. When we first met all she could take was the first few inches, now, she can take all of me. It isn’t always easy, but we are working towards that. She trains herself for this. Go ahead, test her skills, I am watching carefully, I will let you know when you need to ease up.” Darnok brushed his fingers over Lia’s mound, feeling her wetness without even having to touch her folds. “Trust me Gorvaal, she enjoys this.”

Taking those words as permission, Gorvaal pushed his cock further into Lia’s throat with a groan. Not quite all the way, but more than half. He was shocked, even though he had seen her take cock before, it was still a surprise to feel it himself. Even orcish women struggled to take this much. He wasn’t small, if anything he was like Darnok and above average for their race. His thighs tensed as he pushed in just a little more. Her throat was so tight and each time she swallowed around him he thought he might lose his mind. The constricting tightness of her throat was unlike anything he had ever known. All it did was increase his lust and desire for this human. He wanted more than her mouth, he wanted all of her.

Slowly Gorvaal began thrusting, his movement hesitant as he still feared harming Darnok’s pet. Though he was certain if he called her that the woman would take offense. It was the reality of what she was though. Her position in his life. Gorvaal wondered if he could coax her into being more open with him, of offering herself to him as well. He craved a sweet little pet like Lia, and if she ever decided to leave Darnok, he would gladly take her for his own. His thoughts faded as pleasure began to over take his mind. His thrusts growing more intense and erratic. His need to rut starting to take over. He wanted to test her limits and found himself doing so.

As she moaned around him, sending pleasant vibrations through the shaft of his cock, Gorvaal finally gave in and snapped his hips forward, pushing his entire length into her mouth, his heavy balls resting on her face. Looking down he could see the bulge in her throat, the outline of his cock sitting heavily and deeply inside her. He held himself there, in awe of her abilities. Only when he felt her struggle slightly did he pull out to the tip, letting her breath.

“Fuck me, that is.. That is the most impressive thing I think I have ever seen.” Gorvaal’s voice was husky and he knew he would cum soon.

Lia took a few deep breaths, proud of herself for taking as much as she did and holding it for so long. Her vision had gone a little swimmy right before he pulled out, but somehow that just aroused her more. She could feel herself dripping and each time Darnok touched her, she thought she might cum. His fingers were always so close to where she needed the stimulation, but he always seemed to miss her clit, or he was avoiding it on purpose. She couldn’t see his face, so she wasn’t sure if he was teasing her intentionally, or just touching her absently to remind her that he was there and watching over her.

It was hard not to feel pleased with herself, hearing Gorvaal finally lose his cool a bit. He had always been so proper when he spoke, it made her just a little giddy to know she was getting to him. His next thrust into her mouth let her know just how close to that edge his control really was. He thrust almost his entire length in, and it took her a moment to adjust, but she did easily. Swallowing around him and moaning as he pushed deeper and deeper. The feel of his heavy balls resting on her face aroused her more as he finally pushed his full length into her throat and held there. It was hard to breathe and she felt light headed but it just made her want more.

Darnok was watching carefully, knowing that there was a fine line between what Lia could handle and what might injure her. Seeing her take Gorvaal so deep, the way his cock made her throat bulge. As envious as he was, it was also arousing. He dipped his fingers between her legs feeling her slickness, she was wet and hot, he could tell she would orgasm from this with just a little help. Sliding a finger inside of her, Darnok hummed as he spoke in a deep soothing voice. Praising Lia when she did well seemed to encourage her to try even harder.

“You are doing so good little Lia, pleasing our friend so much. Oh how beautiful you look like this. His cock so deep in your throat. I love seeing you this way, I love seeing how far you have come. Please show our friend just how good you are, how perfect you can be.”

It was hard to watch, as Gorvaal began to thrust into her throat in earnest. Not because Darnok feared for Lia, but because he wanted her all to himself. Something he had to break, a need he had to shed. That didn’t make it easy, and he made sure to not let his mind wander too much. Orcs were strong as as Gorvaal began to lose himself, Lia was in a bit more danger. She was handling it so well though, and Darnok couldn’t be more proud.

Lia struggled a bit to breathe as Gorvaal moved faster and harder. Darnok was usually more gentle with her while doing this, but for some reason, this rough treatment excited her. It made her moan louder, deeper around him, which only increased his thrust. Her core clenched around the finger inside of her, and her hips raised up as she felt herself getting closer to release as Gorvaal fucked her throat. She moaned loudly when he hit particularly deep, his balls slapping against her face.

Her eyes rolled back a bit as her vision got a little dim around the edges. She could breathe, but not as well, and the lightheadedness only made her core clench and her clit tingle even more. She was so close, she could feel it. She wanted to cum, and she wanted Gorvaal to cum in her throat.

When he thrust forward hard, holding his cock as deep in her throat as he could. Lia came, crying out around him as she felt his cock swell in her throat. Even though she came without added stimulation, Darnoks thumb pressed against her clit drawing her orgasm out, as Gorvaal roared with his orgasm. His cock swelling more and pumping cum deep in her throat. She could barely breathe and honestly thought she might pass out, but it was one of the most intense orgasms she had experienced and Lia felt herself wanting more.

Gorvaal pulled out suddenly and Lia coughed and gasped for air when he did. She thought she heard talking but it was too far away, muffled. She felt incredible and was smiling, mumbling, not really sure of what she was trying to say. She felt strong arms around her and a warm wet cloth on her face. She leaned into the strong body holding her, and the world went dark.

#exophilia #orc boyfriend #Darnok/Lia #intensify series #kinktober 2020

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iraniq · 4 years

Text

Fuzzy

part II

https://iraniq.tumblr.com/post/613580215745167360/fuzzy

< I forgot to mention when i post part 1 - that’s dedicated to all people who see themselfes as not good enough for some reason, i see me fat, that’s why i rote it from that perspective ... ya’ll worthy tho! >

The next thing I know is how there are gun shots all over the place, I think I saw blood on the sheets, I fell off the bed and roll under. So shocked that I couldn't even scream.

I had no idea how long I was under the bed. Suddenly I heared his voice.

- Fluffy? Oh, Fluffy... Where are you?

I knew it was him, it was his voice... But what if, someone was pretending to be him. I stayed quiet.

- Could she ran away?

- No Ser! I was right outside and didn't saw anyone.

- Are you sure...

- Yes!

It got quiet outside. A sharp light blinded me.

- Here you are! - he grabbed my hand and dragged me outside. I was still shaking and made several steps back. He was squeezing me, but let go. - Come on... - he opened his hands for me, holding a gun. - Daddy isn't scary anymore, come ‘ere! - I hesitated but slowly walked to him. He hugged me with his free hand.

- See sir, she was just scared of you. - the man said. This one wasn't the usual one who accompany him.

The Joker started breathing more heavy, he squeezed me tighter and stepped a little left. Another gun shot was heared. Then a thud of a gun on the furry carpet. He hugged me even tighter.

- It's OK, no one will scare you now!

We stayed like this for several seconds, then he motioned me where to go, ordering me not to look back, because of the blood.

We were in his car, the day was rainy, and he was driving through the nothing.

- Are you OK? I think I saw blood on the sheets. – I barely mumbled with a still shaking voice.

- What...

- Are you, all right.

- Yes... Yes I am.

- Did someone tried to kill you?

- No...

- Then what happened?

He was looking at the road, but his thoughts were speeding elsewhere.

- I had a nightmare.

- Am... I am sorry to hear this. - we were silent for a while - Where did you take the gun from?

- Under the pillow.

- You sleep with a gun under your pillow?

- There are attempts for my Death through the past 10 years... Even before I got that famous. - he looked at me winking.

- The road. - I screamed.

- Chill ... I know this road.

- But it is raining now...

- So? You question my driving skills?

- Why do you think it is always about you, why always must be against you what I say? I just mentioned that it's raining and...

- It might be slippery. I know. I am paying attention to the road, although you are not helping much.

- I am sorry... I will be quiet. - I mumbled.

- It's not your words that bother me, it's your looks.

I tried to cover my fat belly with the jacket I had.

- You are welcome...

I frowned my eyebrows.

- For the compliment.

' He complimented my body... that's it, I must be dead now! '

We were quiet a little bit more... He suddenly hit the breaks.

- No! - He looked at me. And pulled my jeans jacket. I had a light knee long silk night dress.

- What... Let go … - I pulled it back.

- I meant your half naked tits... – he has this nervous tic to slick back his hair, even when it’s ok - Whoever speaks to you like this I will shoot them!

- The ones who... speak to me like you do... - I was confused, and more ashamed than scared.

- No...- he finally let go of the jacket and let me cover. - Whoever told you you weren't good looking.

- Well... It's a long story.

- Ugh... Spare me the suffer... - he rolled his eyes, got out and opened the door for me. - Come! - he demanded. He played a song on his phone and we danced. He had hugged me and we slowly swinged. I could feel him enjoying the hug, but he was trying to make it less obvious.

Several songs later. It turned cold and we had to stop.

- What... Why are you shivering? - he growled.

- It's cold and I am mostly naked.

- Fat won't keep you warm? - he laughed.

- Unpopular opinion, but fat on humans don't keep it that warm, as on amimals... - I smiled.

He hugged me again and rubbed my back.

- Do you want my Jacket?

- You don't have one on you. - I laughed.

- Ugh... Jump back in the car then. - he slapped my but.

We went in, he put the heat on. And rubbed my thigh, I jumped. - Chill... - he got my hand in his. - The rape think was to scare you... I won't - he let go of my hand. - I might be anything, but 2 things I am not - rapist abd pedophile.

I smiled.

- Yes... I am actually ticklish, that's why I jumped... But it's good to know this. - I blushed. He winked at me.

He drove us back to his place. It was dark already. He let me in the kitchen to make us some food. After I was done he invited me in the bathroom. There was a bathtub ready and a table. I took my clothes off and settled in front of him. He put the wooden panel on the bathtub, so we could eat while taking a bath.

- Please … - he hugged me - don't drop food in the tub! – he said that almost purring and I’d lie if I saw I wasn’t turn on.

I giggled.

He put shampoo in my hair and washed it.

- Why are you so gentle with me? - I felt deeply attracted and connected to him, becauset still I didn't knew him and from what others say and he didn't exactly deny, he wasn't a nice person.

- Well... Maybe because I want to.

I turned to face him. His hair was wet, and so green.

- It looks more green when wet. - I reached to touch it, but remembered what he said before. - May I?

He nodded his head and I dug my fingers through the green hair, slicking it back. I smiled, then I ruffled it and laughed.

- Hey... - he slicked it back.

- I love this color...

- Green, or bright neon colors.

- Can I pick both?

He smiled. Then he frowned.

- Off! - he ordered in a harsh voice. I turned my back at him. - Off the tub! - he shouted and I jumped out, in the process I slipped and fell, but got up and ran to the bedroom.

In like hour, I was still lying naked, covered in a sheet and reading a book, he had on his night stand - Terry Pratchett - Mort. I had started it several years back, , but never finished it, since it wasn’t mine. He came in, slowly, he was even more pale and his lips were blue. I looked up, but he frowned and I looked away. He slipped under the covers and snuggled.

- OH! - I yelled. - You are cold!

- Dead cold!

- Yes … - I tried to move away, but he didn’t let me go.

- The waster was cold.

- Well you stayed for an hour. It was expected to be cold at the end. Why didn't you put hot one.

- I was lazy.

- Why didn't you call me?

- You are mad.

- No, I am not.

- Yes. You are!

- No I am not! - 'is he for real'

- Because I yelled at you.

- I am... You want me to be mad at you?

- You shold!

- Well I am not... Come. - I put the book away, as he snuggled more in me. - You are naked. - I whispered putting my chin on his forehead.

- It's not the first time we are both naked in my bed.

- Don't exactly remember the 1st time. - I joked.

- Want me to remind you? - he wasn't finished when I felt his hand slipping down on me.

I woke up the next day very sore on many places, with an envelope at the empty pillow next to me. There were money and a note : he was informing me that he won't be available for the next two weeks, but after I am more than welcome for breakfast... And fun. There was a big kiss

I went home, paid whatever I was supposed to. Get me a second job.

Had a fight with my mother about the "dump" I live in. The lack of proper men in my life. Obviously my mindless and rude ex, who had a prestige job, was a way better choice than someone who actually treats me nice and cares about me... Horay!

The next time I spend the night at he house I woke up by his pissed voice, I jumped off the bed.

- Where to, sweet patootie?

- I thought you yelled at me... Lover boy?

He made a low growl.

- I am loosing at this ... Damn Game!

- Let me... Stack Ball? I am master at this. - Four levels later, he was dozing off on my shoulder. I accidentaly got out of the game. I saw... My mostly naked body as a wallpaper.

- A what...

- What?! - he got up holding a gun.

- Why do you have a naked picture of me! - I was yelling at the one person even Bats got the chills of.

He looked confused.

- Why... Do y...

- I heard you the 1st time sweets, why woudn't I? You are my girlfriend.

- I am... fat... - I was more shocked he called me 'girlfriend', but I decided not to go that far.

- And a little bit of your but was hairy whem I took that one. – he laughed like a 5 years old who knows they betray a huge secret by telling it in a joke-ish way.

I felt the tears running down.

- Why... what's wrong... - he took his pants of - Take a naked picture of me, we will be even. - he threw the phone in my lap.

- I am ugly, get this away! - I throw the phone back and the blanket too.

He stood in front of me and squeezed my face in his hand so hard I flinched.

- You are not. I like what I see, if you don't like it, it's not my problem. I like your orange ass and the wiggly piece of fat on your bellt, it's a nice pillow... What?

- You are pretty and you like me. - I cried.

- How many times should I repeat this so you'd believe me?! Because it's getting annoying, and I might end up killing you... Which would be a shame, you are exellent breakfast biddy and a pillow. - he wiped my tears - At some point I will get tired of this and kick you away. I will find me s skinny blond dumb bitch.

- Hey ... blond girls are smart too ...

- I know … - he squeezed my cheek.

- You will be bored... - I joked.

- I will... - he lyed on me again - now play that game, and win me a nice record. Definetly higher than yours.

Soon after he dozzed off again.

Next morning I woke up alone again. When I decided to check how much of a 'mornong' it is, I was met with his almost naked body on my wallpaper. His black pants, unbuttomed and sooo low. A purple shirt, almost off. One hand was... Down there, and it was visible enough what's inside. I figured he took the pic with his free hand … it was a specific angle. It was a one time in life view.

- You like it sugar pops? I can smell you blush from here! - he laughed. - Just unlock it and see the other one.

- How about NO! - I threw the phone like it had the plague.

- Oooh... I made these with love... Is this how you thank me! - his voice was low and pissed.

- Maybe after breakfast. - I smiled.

- Fine...

He handed me a bowl of cornflakes, fruits and ypgurt. All breakfast time he spend looking at the bluish clouded sky. The sun was trying to peek behind the clouds, the view was really breathtaking.

I felt anxious. Urged myself to say something.

- Breathtaking...

- Yes!

- The clouds...

- I know.... - he whined.

Next thing he was squeezing my face, trying to put some food in.

- I don't luke vegan stuff.

- I don't like your attitude either! Now eat!

While trying to chew, some run down my chin.

- Can you not! ... I hate babies.

- Eww, me too! - I wiped it away.

Don't know what I did, or said, but he laughed till he cried.

It has been several months since I kinda moved there. I learned not to be that intimidated by him, which lead to me talking back quite often. On the other hand this led to huge fights that often ended up with me going to my old place, that I still rented. At some point his jealous-ish and obssed behaviour birthed the idea of setting the place on fire, so I'd have nowhere to leave.

One of his super trusted henchmen was left eyeless. He got them out with a spoon after the poor man said "Hey, Joker whose is that fat brat?" - followed by - "Who'd hate his dick that much!" - I suspect J cut his tongue too. But did't wanted to konow...

Monty... I believe he was... I see him begging on the side street of the boulevards when me and J had midnight car walks. I feel bad for him, although his stupidity wasn't my fault. Sometimes I sneak out and Frost drives me there, I leave him food.

There were no more fuzzy nights, he wasn't drinking or doing drugs, although that was a popular opinion, he had super healthy lifestyle... Did I mentioned he is build like a fucking god! Sometimes I had a glass of wine, or 2 for a mood. He'd joke that before I hit 30 I am already the old fun always drunk auntie, just missing the cats.

He named one of my stretch marks ‘Simon” when I swing around gaining and loosing weight, Simon grows …” Simon says ‘eat’! “ – Joker teases me when he inspects Simon.

I got some extra special treatment besides the hair washing like feet massages and book reading when his insomnia kicks in. Make up real life tutorials – he looks good in purple eye shadow tho. He got my long nails, scratching his hands. His nerves were a little numb by the bleach bath. But he could feel scratch. He got the chills it rather cute, in an odd way. I also colored his dragon tattoo once … he almost overdose on slipping pills once … so I had the chance. He was fine. Just dead asleep.

The most embarassing thing happened like 2 weeks ago. Me and J broke in that councilman's house. We were in the outside jakuzzi when Bats came, ironically we were naked. He, bats, saw my back tities, and I am now sure, if he didn't needed mental help, he will be now. He was as shocked as us. Obvipusly seeing the Joker, the self loving, arrogant, perfectionist, demanding more then the best, mad at the world, with quite almost fat girl was a real shock. Bats just apologized and left. J laughed so much, he almost drowned, drinking half the pool.

J send Bats a letter 2 days after:

" Bats, I an so dissapoined you storm in like that, it took me so long to convince her to hoop in naked in the all glass pool/jakuzzi. Hope you are happy now. I won't get laid tonight because of you. Also... If you try something else besides blond, skinny dumb sluts /yes I know blond girls are smart, duh/, you might have a relationship longer than 17h. Also... The last "lady you took tp the charity ball... Dman man, I won't even get the lil J naked in front of her! You can do better boy billionaire! "

p.s. I am still fat, but I don’t care anymore, I am a Queen and I love me so bad, ask the King!

______________

@diyunho @rhina988 @nikkitasevoli @sougie @lovermrjokerr @darthjokerisyourfather @marsmad @itsmeauntie @echelongaga @brightlightsfanfiction @mj-isback @gemma60 @elliegrace139 @lylabell2013 @pandaliciouz @misscalamiity

sorry if i miss someone

#my writings #joker #joker imagine #joker fanfic #joker series #mr. j #mr. j imagine #mr. j fanfic #the joker #the joker imagine #the joker fanfic #fluff #i kinda wrote that for me #but for you too who needs to reed it #clown prince of crime

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adaruthless-blog · 5 years

Photo

What is this fuss about our hair?

Once about 30 years ago I went in Singapore to a hairdresser. The fringe irritated my eyes and the bob in total had grown too long, must have been the very humid air to make my hair grow faster. So I needed a trim. I decided on a salon not quite next to the Raffles and not the Shangri-la, a bit more into a side road. I didn’t want to blow my budget. I also thought that my hairstyle must be familiar to Asian ladies with their straight hair themselves. I stepped into the salon and immediately the young ladies were all over me and my hair. Each one keen to cut it. The first shushed the others away. She and no one else wanted the job, the others retreated. With each streak she giggled. I found it amusing and well aware that my hair must feel very different. The giggles were not admiration more sort of a pity and feeling sorry for me: oh baby hair, so soft, but nice colour she kept saying. I have this very ordinary northern European ash blond, thin hair, straight as spaghettis, not even cooked that would form nicely around my face, no, completely straight like uncooked. But at least with a nice shine and with the help of the sun a natural bleach occurs.

The Asian hairdresser did a fine job after all. The other ladies took a glimpse and I could see they were dying to touch my hair. The offcuts fell onto the floor onto much thicker black hair like a handful of dawns blown away. The ladies wished me well and chattered behind their hands.

It is not uncommon to touch one another’s hair. Especially among girlfriends at school. There was Martina with her olive skin, dark eyes and shiny black hair, wavy but thin like mine, the longer it grew the more curls she had. She sat next to me for a while and I remember the feel of her hair. There was Conny Herrman. Gosh, she had fantastic hair, the same colour as me but thick and long, she seldom had to wash it, she always looked like a filmstar with a huge mane. When we were lying on the lawn during break her hair was like a cushion of hair. I can’t remember the other girls name, she was a ballet dancer. She performed in France at our school exchange program. Her hair was also long and thick, similar colour but a bit more brownish and with long heavy corkscrew curls! That was the biggest attraction on her. But not with a nice feel, it felt rough like a shoe brush.

Hair is definitely something that shapes our appearance. It grows out of the follicles more or less rapidly. We trim it, we cut it, we change the style. We are happy or unhappy with our hair. There are woman constantly unhappy with their hair. I have come to live with my hair.

There comes a moment in life where one just knows what is best for oneself.

My first encounter with African hair was in 1984 at a Pick’n Pay when I tried to buy shampoo. I was strolling along the shelves until I came across a brand name ‘black like me’. I was fascinated. It was my first time in Africa. I thought: “oh, this is nice that Africans can at least find such a big variety of hair products. Their hair must be very different with different needs.’ Beside the domestic worker at my friends house, who did her work quietly with her head under a cloth matching her apron, I did not have any contacts to black people. All the other African ladies I saw had the hair covered in a similar way. The men had their hair short or a shiny bold head. I had seen Rastafarians and I knew Jimmy Hendrix from a vinyl cover but otherwise I had never spent a single moment thinking about black hair. During my travels in and around South Africa I did stroke a black child’s head occasionally and noticed the difference. As adults we just don’t wander around touching other people’s hair. Some years later, when my daughter was about three years old we had the grandchild of our domestic worker staying with us. It was a hot summer day, the two played together, I filled water with a hosepipe into an old bathtub we had as a feature in our garden and put the girls into it. My daughter started scrubbing the girl because the soles of her feet were white. Nandi, the African girl, laughed her heart out. In return she started to put mud on my daughters bleach blond hair. They had a ball. Mavis came running into the yard and wanted to shout at her grandchild. I stopped her and said: “no, no, this is ok, they play and this is fun to watch how they experience themselves.” Mavis was still cautious but glad that I saw it as child’s play. The two girls played that whole summer and had embraced their differences, which were never an issue for remarks, slurs or any other sort of nastiness. This incident had made a deep impression on me. I thought if children are put together with just curiosity they will find a way to understand one another.

A few years later I had opened a children’s theater for puppetshows, shadow theatre, clownery and comedy. I was constantly short of good scripts. So I wrote some myself. I wanted a play for school starters and work on the worries small children might have in an inter racial school. The ‘hair thing’ was looming around in South Africa, African girls had been punished for their Afros, African ladies mobbed for their wigs.

For previous plays I had created a main character, a little bunny by the name of Nogwaja, the clever hare. Nogwaja was worried that the children might laugh about his huge ears, a girl was worried about her curly hair, a boy concerned he was too small, another girl had freckles and glasses. During class they learned that they all were more or less shy, during break they experienced that they were all fun to play with. They touched their different hairs and ears, were surprised about the different feel and recognized that short legs can be fast and freckles look just normal and even cute.

After having this show on successfully for many times one day a mother stopped me and was very upset. In her opinion this play was racist! She does not want her child being exposed to a play where differences are pointed out, we are all the same. She was inconsolable and I stayed puzzled. I took it off the playlist for the simple reason I did not want to have any discussions about racism.

Hairy stories continued in the news and on social media, black lives matter also had posts about hair issues. Apparently blacks forbid not to have their hair touched by whites. I came across an art exhibition in Johannesburg by an Angolan Artist, Grada Kilomba, she had a piece about the ‘hair thing’. She was present. Looking at her I was surprised that she had an issue with this hair thing. She certainly has no extraordinary hair besides it is black and wavy. I thought I had approached her nicely. She was reluctant to talk to me when I tried to explain my little theatre play and if she would see it as racist. Maybe she was not in the mood to discuss my experience of my daughter and the puppet play and she did not want to confirm me that I am not racist about the ‘hair thing’… and hopefully not at all.

And then this weekend came along. I had the opportunity to perform for sixty seconds as a puppeteer in a huge potpourri of a ballet performance at the Soweto theatre. I did it out of friendship to the choreographer, he needed some African handpuppets which I happened to have. Rehearsal plus 3 shows. Each time I had to wait long at back stage for my little performance. I absorbed the beautiful atmosphere. The eagerness of all the dancers. All of different ages. A group of preschool children, a group of primary children, a group of high school pupils and students. The little ones were intrigued by my puppets and as I found out by my hair!

They gathered around me and used the puppets only as a vehicle to be able to be close to me. They wanted my hair! At first a bit shy. Then when they noticed I wouldn’t mind them touching my hair they were all over me. I was sitting in a lotus seat on the floor, they were standing left, right, in front of me touching, stroking, petting my hair, my neck, my arms. I did the same to show interest and to tell them how pretty they are and what beautiful hairdos they have. One girl said: I think your hair is nicer. No, your hair is nicer, I said, and you can do a lot more things with your hair than I can do. Why, they asked. My hair is too thin, it would break, it tangles, I would be bold. They thought that was interesting. I thought their reactions were interesting. I could see that classical ballet has probably established an ideal of beauty. But for my taste and because of this performance where I could watch more than 50 ballet dancers my ideal of beauty has become these beautiful African girls with their beautiful perfectly shaped heads and bodies. It had made me happy to see a curiosity and an appreciation on diversity …on both sides.

So for me the hair thing has now been sorted out – don’t touch unless you get touched firstJ

Ada-Ruth Kellow

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clefairytails · 6 years

Text

lesbian tag game

thx for sending me this @redcladsheikah <3 all my lesbian friends should do this too, if you want uwu i’m too lazy to tag like 50 ppl hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh @lebians @tiedyked @talaxian @lesbian-mcelroy @ireallylikecameras

1: did you ever think you were straight?

not really, i knew i liked girls even as a child. but i did go through multiple periods of trying to convince myself i was straight, needless to say it didn’t work out lol.

2: what’s your favorite element of gay culture?

our sense of humor! it’s amazing that we’re all so funny despite putting up with so much bullshit.

3: are you femme, butch, or neither?

femme! i’ve been looking into femme history lately, bcs the idea that femme is just an aesthetic is a misconception c:

4: do you prefer to date femmes or butches?

tbh every time i declare i have a type i immediately fall for someone that’s the complete opposite of that, so i have no idea. lately i’ve been wanting a goth gf, but i just developed a crush on a prep soooo i’m terrible at self-reflection. this bitch don’t know what she want.

5: what’s the worst part about being a lesbian?

the feeling that there’s a part of you that needs to be fixed, but you can’t do anything about it. it’s like seeing a picture on the wall that’s crooked, but it’s stuck like that and you can’t ever straighten it. or having a hair out of place that keeps sticking up no matter how much you try to gel it down.

6: what’s the best part of being a lesbian?

is women too obvious of an answer? girls are angels and i’d die for all of them

7: how long were you questioning for?

pretty much never, i guess. i had crushes on girls since kindergarten, then in 2nd grade i was told girls could only like boys, so i tried my best to be straight even though in my heart i knew i wasn’t. since i couldn’t make myself like boys, i kinda just ignored the idea of liking anyone at all until middle school, when i found out what the word “lesbian” means online. of course, all the stuff i found about lesbians called us disgusting perverts, so i went through many phases of calling myself literally anything else but a lesbian. i’ve only started using the word lesbian specifically in the last few years, especially since i joined an amazing discord group. i love them so much, they’ve helped me feel so proud of being a lesbian <3

8: what’s the most annoying thing straight people do?

exist.

jk lmao, i’m honestly not annoyed by straight people, but i like making jokes as if i am. it’s hard to annoy me in general, i’ve got a high tolerance for that type of stuff. if i have to answer, i hate it when strangers (usually straight men) pry into my sex life, but i’m not really annoyed by that as much as i am creeped out.

9: what do you look for in a girl?

vampirism is my only requirement.

10: if you had to marry someone you know right now, who would you choose?

@lebians bcs i feel they’d be the most able to put up with my bullshit. everyone else would kill me on sight. if only @ireallylikecameras was still single, then when we got married we could put together our 50% employee discounts at BK and get infinite food for free, ending world hunger. i think that’s how it works, but also im gay and therefore bad at math.

11: do you have a crush right now?

does being in love count as a crush? if so, then i have three.

12: do you fall in love easily?

i crush easily, and i say i’m in love easily bcs i’m a leo (meaning i need to exaggerate to live), but actually feeling love? only once.

13: is there anyone in your life right now you think you’ll date in the future?

fingers crossed.

14: is there anyone you want to be kissing right now?

at the moment i’m feeling very touch repulsed, so no. but i also go through periods of feeling touch starved, and during those times i’d kiss pretty much anyone lmao.

15: do you think you’ve met your future wife yet?

i don’t know if i want to be married. i hate making commitments.

16: top, bottom, or vers?

i suspect i’m a bottom, but i’m also a virgin with no self awareness about what she wants or likes, so who really knows.

17: is there anyone you wish you could fuck right now?

still feeling touch repulsed, so no. also i have issues with actual real life sex. i always think i want to have sex, but when the situation becomes real, i feel disgusted by it and chicken out. i have no idea if this is some sort of asexuality or internalized lesbophobia. i should probably go to therapy lol.

18: rough or gentle?

rough, in theory. like i said, virgin who doesn’t know what she likes. but as a general rule, i don’t like slowness.

19: how many stereotypes do you fit into?

i’m fat, hairy, make lots of jokes about hating men (at least online, not in real life bcs i dont wanna get stabbed), i sometimes look like a guy,

20: what version of the lesbian flag do you like most? (butch, lipstick, original, etc.)

i like the femme one! i have it as my banner, it’s the lipstick lesbian flag without the lip print. the original flag was so fucking good, too bad it got taken by the terfs. the labrys is such a powerful image, and purple is a good color. also i saw a moon lesbian flag going around, that one is so good.

21: do you have a good gaydar?

hhhh i’d like to pretend i do but tbh i’m not very observant and straight up bad at reading people.

22: be honest, would you rather be straight?

yes and no. i’d rather have been born straight, because it would’ve saved me so much pain, but it’s a few years too late for that lol. if there was a magic pill that could make me straight today, i wouldn’t take it. i’ve been through so much as a lesbian, it means something to me now and i wouldn’t trade that for anything.

23: are you cis?

yep.

24: are you a sugar mommy or a sugar baby at heart?

hardcore sugar baby. my dream job is being an older woman’s trophy wife.

25: are you committed to someone at all right now emotionally?

hhhhhhhhhh unfortunately. i don’t want to be.

26: are you looking for a serious relationship currently?

yes, but i shouldn’t be. i don’t think i’m ready to be in one.

27: is there someone you’d like to be in a serious relationship in?

yes, but she’s straight and already married lmao. whoops.

28: do you want children?

no, i’m too selfish and irresponsible.

29: is your family accepting of your sexuality?

my mom and dad are, though they don’t take it very seriously. pretty sure they expect me to grow out of it one day. can’t blame them tho, i’m waiting for the same thing lmao. my extended family is huge, and their opinions range from being extremely homophobic to being gay themselves, but i’m interacting with them less and less as i get older.

30: how confident are you in your sexuality?

very confident, though i don’t want to be. i’m still secretly hoping one day i’ll see a guy i’m attracted to and he’ll fix me, but being realistic, i’m a huge fucking lesbian. women are enchanting.

31: are you polyamorous or monogamous?

monogamous. my insecure ass could not be poly hhhhhh.

32: what advice do you have for your 12 year old self?

be more selfish. you don’t have to put yourself second for the sake of others, especially at your age. nothing you do will matter in a decade, go fucking wild.

33: have you ever been to a gay bar?

nope. i want to go one day, but i have terrible social anxiety.

34: leather jackets or flannel?

both of those are really hot, but i’m gonna go with leather jacket.

35: describe your dream girlfriend

- vampire

- big tiddy goth gf

- nice personality or smthn

- uhhhhhhhhh tiddy

(ok but srsly, i can’t answer this question bcs i NEVER know what i want!! i always thought my type was THICC for sure, but all three of the ladies i have feelings for rn are pretty skinny and flat chested)

36: do you have any lesbian friends?

at least 50 lol.

37: what elements of gay culture do you actively participate in?

air, water, sometimes earth. never fire.

38: do you find straight people irritating?

nope, but i do find straight pda uncomfortable to look at. mostly bcs it reminds me of what i'm supposed to want. but i’d never tell a straight person that, obviously. i’m not rude.

39: would you rather adopt a kid or have a biological kid?

i’ll adopt a tortoise, and feed her any children that cross my path. but if i did ever have a child, i’d want it to be biologically mine and my wife’s. mostly bcs i’d want to know what it would look like, which is a selfish and stupid reason to have kids, and exactly why i’m not gonna lmao.

40: do you love yourself?

i’m a LEO (jokes aside, i don’t know. sometimes i do, sometimes i don’t. but i love myself more as time goes on. definitely more than i did than when i was a teen, at least.)

#tag game #long post #im a LEO

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kinksbeans · 7 years

Text

Universe Adventure 3

Dipper did not expect the aliens in front of him would have been talking, causing him to sleep well. Let go of the toilet to come back to see a more shocking than the mobile phone scene; wearing a gold girl playing Wander and Mabel play in the family of wine.

"I need to get rid of the memory gun on his head."

"Do not do this Dipper ~ very funny."

"I just want to have fun." Wander pretended to drink tea with prettily.

Mabel suddenly saw Dipper make a wink and told him to wait for me, got up and the two men hid the door to block the beginning of the whisper: "Mabel, yesterday's topic, I still do not want you to have an alien at home As we all know. "

"It was troublesome to be discovered by Stanley Uncle in the event of a stir."

"Yes, I forgot that, I promise." Having finished Mabel's zip pull up his mouth. Dipper opened the door and said that they had found that they were missing.

"Wow, nice town!"

It was a slip to the roof, but in fact saw a gloomy mangosteen plus just a group of crows. Dipper was panting and asked how he climbed up. Wander suddenly shouted the brush to wash her face to eat breakfast immediately turned and jumped into the window to let him take a ride without a roll to climb into the house again.

The two brothers and sisters share the bathroom, the original results Mabel want to help him find a toothbrush but found that he did not know when the hand holding a wooden berry began to brush your teeth; brush teeth after Dipper Dipper Wander heartless fall to the basin turned into a small Swimming pool, emerge out spit a swim again swim up a quietly spilled out of a flower so that his whole head is wet.

Causing Dipper had to take a towel while walking down the stairs into the store, and Mabel think of a way to let Wander avoid the eyes so that he pretended to be a bag of ornaments on the lovely puppets.

Just then Stanley came in and played the sneeze, and Mabel asked him how did Stanley he had?

"Mabel do not you have a damn little creature?"

"?Why did you ask so."

"I am allergic to the animal hair." Said again sneezing from the pocket of the clothes and took out his handkerchief and blew his nose.

Dipper puzzled and said, "but the shop is not a pile of fur made of goods is not it?"

"That's all dead!"

"I can allow you to adopt Waddles because there is at least no hair, or else I have already peeled it," he said, "I would have been able to allow you to adopt Waddles because of at least no hair," he said.

"If you are caught by you and you are keeping your hair, you will be affected."

"How can we do that?"

Two people guilty of a look at the eyes of the Waddles on the bag to reveal their hearty smile.

"Well, it must be that you must sell the boxed monster mummy today." They heard the protest, but Stanley uncle said more or else that the store business has been down he will close down.

"Hey, your other uncle feels like Lord Hater."

"Who?" Asked the two.

"My buddy: though the appearance looks terrible, the heart is lonely need to come to a full love of the big hug."

Far from another universe Lord Hater sneezed in his spacecraft: "Who is ill in my back ?!"

Waddles finished his hand to see the so-called "fairy mummy": it is a false anatomical stunned dragonfly wings, but looks very scary. Let him immediately face pale, immediately take off his hat and woke his mouth screaming. Screaming after wearing a hat and touched his chest said nothing.

Mabel asked his face, "Dipper said," What should I do?

Wander heard what she was saying to start thinking about the way, and with a gesture called Mabel, and whispering on the tiptoe; though Dipper wanted to come and listen to what he was saying, but it was too loud to hear.

After the two men blinked each other, only he was confused.

* So the two began to sell big fight; just the mayor came to put on the waiter to wear the character of the Wander pretend to be Mabel hands holding the belly of the vulgar to say hello to him:

"Salut!" Do you need help? "

"Oh, huh, huh, hello, i want to know what the most popular thing in your store is?"

The mayor did not ask him to ask Wander.

"I recommend you to the fairy mummy, it has a rich history of tradition, you know, it can bring good luck."

"Put it in the office to make your workable!"

"I am not sure……?"

Mabel gave the Wander computer, figured out the price to the mayor, and saw that the price was so good that he had shook hands with each other to Wander. The next one is just a tour bus with a group of tourists, Mabel and Wander gearing ready to go; just have a dressed in a tight-fitting body with a mantis fat ladies to see the shelves of the fairy mummy to attract attention, so take a closer look , Mabel with another set of costumes wearing red dress with blonde Wander to improve octave to introduce her:

"This beautiful slim lady, if you buy it, can make your wish come true."

"Oh Oh ~ ~ ~ look at you this little sweet heart really sweet ah."

And said Wander's little face, Mabel also stroked his little bitter cheeky cheerful; two good tricks to Dipper rolled his eyes. So a little time to rely on his first-class marketing, then what the success of the yuan should be selling all the goods are sold out, the three could not help but applauded.

"There 's the tip of the fat lady, and give you Wander, that' s what you deserve.

"I do not need money, and you keep it."

"How do i ask you to eat Apple Crumble?"

"very good!"

Wander did not forget to lick his little tongue.

"Hey, your hands are quite special." Wendy and Soos went into the store.

The two saw that they immediately quickly hiding under the cash register to discuss each other under tension:

"Do not you find Wander alive?"

"Do not worry, I put a zipper on his back." Dipper saw him turn his hand and gesture.

The two sons had to come back again; "Yes, there are always some strange things to find."

Soos saw the empty box whistling: "Wow did not think you could sell the disgusted fairy mummy at once?"

"Of course, by Wander ... it's not my hand," he said.

Wendy glared at Mabel's hand, Wander asked, "can I take a look at me?"

They heard a little worry, but to see the eyes of the Wander with sagging left hand to make OK gestures, Mabel was reluctant to pass her, Wendy get started after the play.

"Where did you find it?"

"Uh ~ ~ you know, Stanley Uncle's warehouse ha." Dipper embarrassed to start stuttering.

Mabel replied, "You know the warehouse can find some strange things."

"Ah ~ ~ do quite realistic ... ..."

She said that the hands of the puppet seems to have heartbeat; although Wendy can play their own like a doll, but after all, too nervous to prevent their heartbeat too fast. Wendy was aware of the decision to make a little prank.

"─ ─ you know that I like to help the hound to make such an action, they love it."

While Wendy put on his right arm, stretched out his left finger began to scratch with his fingertips from the back; because Wendy was afraid of itching just caught his own itch can not help reflex action began to shake feet, this Let them see dumbfounded.

"What if it is here?"

And then stop him, and put him over, ready to reach the clutches continue to ravage (?) His hairy soft belly when:

"stop! The "

Wendy could not help but stop

The results scared her immediately put aside, Wendy down the action like a cat jumped from the high floor to the perfect landing in the cash register.

They were shocked!

#Wander Over Yonder #gravity falls

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elseon · 7 years

Text

I don’t know where to start. I don’t know where I belong in the gay community. ‘Being gay sucks, being Asian sucks, being not masculine sucks, being smooth sucks, being autistic sucks.’ That’s what I received from the community, constantly. I worked on my confident for life, and the community I thought I belong to show me other, made me feel like an outcast because my race, appearance, mental health.

‘Not interested in Asian.’ Ok, your preference just eliminated the entire race. Not only it is rude and racist, it is so unattractive. Whenever I find someone attractive and he is another race. I never have the guts to even hit them up. I know what I’m facing and probably just another disappointment. You might say ‘There are people out there who likes Asians too.’ True, but do know Asians are usually fetishized by other race right? Do you know how hard it is to avoid being treated like a subject or a fetish. When will we have the same entry level like everybody else? Not worrying about being rejected because your race, of who you are, and something you can not change.

I’m 6″2, 170 lbs. Actually gained weights in the past few years. I’m not masculine, I am not crazy about the masc thing. I think as long you’re happy with your body shape, and health, you should be good. Masc4Masc nowadays is a joke, but there are people still looking forward to that. It is always a disappointment after you see Masc4Masc on their profile or they just simply rejected you because you’re too ‘famine’. Back to me again, I consider myself a really standard, average gay men, yea I mean if I want to be feminine I could show my sassy side. I guess without the six packs I’m just automatically labeled as ‘super feminine gay’. The funny thing is, some people I won’t even consider them as masculine, like where are your muscles?

From my height and weight, I don’t think I quite fit the whole twink category, except my weak arms, other parts of my body are pretty...average. Most certainly not bear too. Again, you find someone cute but he is in a different shape, I most likely won’t bother, you know the reason. People tend to like people who they look close to. And for people who is a bigger size of me, usually date with people who is same size as them. It’s just like a barrier I can not cross. I really don’t know how to feel about this to be honest, I hope the barrier doesn’t exist, or like try with someone who is different? I don’t even know what I am saying now, you got my point.

I’m not the hairy type. So my body is mostly smooth. Probably have to go back to the whole masc thing. I guess without a beard you are just below average looking now, and going to be labeled as the ‘super feminine gay’. I have hard time talking to stranger, or just random people, thanks to my past experiences and mental illness. People seems so impatiently to us and not even bother to give it a try. Not everybody’s life is going perfectly, I guess it is actually a relief to see them go. It’s doomed with people who are not on the same page as you anyway. I usually blame myself even though I shouldn’t.

Thanks to the community, I learned a lot.

#sorry if you have to read all of this

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richmeganews · 5 years

Text

Recruiting Women to Online Dating Was a Challenge

“Abstinence ... Animal rights ... Very conservative ... Marijuana OK ... Children should be given guidelines ... Religion guides my life ... Make charitable contributions ... Would initiate hugs if I wasn’t so shy ... Enjoy a good argument ... Have to-do lists that seldom get done ... Sweet food, baked goods ... Artificial or missing limbs ... Over 300 pounds ... Drag ... Exploring my orientation ... Women should pay.”

By the fall of 1994, Gary Kremen was working toward launching the first dating site online, Match.com. There was another four-letter word for love, he knew, and it was data, the stuff he would use to match people. No one had done this, so he had to start from scratch, drawing on instinct and his own dating experience.

Generating data—based on the interests of a person in categories such as the ones he was typing out on his PC (“Mice/gerbils or similar ... Smooth torso/not-hairy body”)—would be the key to the success of Match; it was what would distinguish electronic dating from all other forms. He could gather data about each client—attributes, interests, desires for mates—and then compare them with other clients to make matches. With a computer and the internet, he could eliminate the inefficiencies of thousands of years of analog dating: the shyness, the missed cues, the posturing. He would provide customers with a questionnaire, generate a series of answers, then pair up daters based on how well their preferences aligned.

This post is adapted from Kushner’s new book.

Kremen started from his own experience—putting down the attributes that mattered to him: education, style of humor, occupation, and so on. With the help of others, the headings on the list grew—religious identity/observance, behavior/thinking—along with subcategories, including 14 alone under the heading of “Active role in political/social movements” (“Free international trade ... gender equality”). Before long, there were more than 75 categories of questions, including one devoted to sex—down to the most specific of interests (including a subcategory of “muscle” fetishes).

But the more he thought about it, the closer he came to an important realization: He wasn’t the customer. In fact, no guys were the customers. While men would be writing the checks for the service, they wouldn’t be doing anything if women weren’t there. Women, then, were his true targets, because, as he put it, “every woman would bring a hundred geeky guys.” Therefore, his goal was clear, but incredibly daunting: He had to make a dating service that was friendly to women, who represented just about 10 percent of those online at the time. According to the latest stats, the typical computer user was unmarried and at a computer for hours upon hours a week, so the opportunity seemed ripe.

To enrich his research into what women would want in such an innovation, Kremen sought out women’s input himself, asking everyone he knew—friends, family, even women he stopped on the street—what qualities they were looking for in a match. It was an essential moment, letting go of his own ego, understanding that the best way to build his market was to enlist people who knew more than him: women.

In his mind, if he could just put himself in their shoes, he could figure out their problems, and give them what they needed. He’d hand over his questionnaire, eager to get their input—only to see them scrunch up their faces and say “Ewwww.” The explicit sexual questions went down with a thud, and the notion that they would use their real names—and photos—seemed clueless. Many didn’t want some random guys to see their pictures online along with their real names, let alone suffer the embarrassment of family and friends finding them. “I don’t want anyone to know my real name,” they’d say. “What if my dad saw it?”

[Read: The lure of online dating is not, in fact, irresistible ]

Kremen went to Peng Ong and Kevin Kunzelman, the men who were developing programming for Match, and had them implement privacy features that would mask a customer’s real email address behind an anonymous one on the service. But there was a bigger problem: He needed a female perspective on his team. He reached out to Fran Maier, a former classmate from Stanford’s business school. Maier, a brash mother of two, had always been compelled, albeit warily, by Kremen—“his fanaticism, his energy, his intensity, his competition,” as she put it. When he ran into her at a Stanford event and told her about his new venture, he was just as revved. “We’re bringing classifieds onto the internet,” he told her, and explained that he wanted her to do “gender-based marketing” for Match.

Maier, who’d been working at Clorox and AAA, jumped at the chance to get in on the new world online as the director of marketing. To her, Kremen’s passion and pioneering spirit felt infectious. And the fact that he was turning over the reins to her felt refreshingly empowering, given the boys’ club she had been used to in business. Maier showed up to the basement office with pizza and Chinese food and got to work.

One day, an engineer at Match asked her, “What weight categories do you want in the questionnaire?” She arched her brow. “Oh no,” she said. “We’re not asking that.” Women never want to put down their weight, she explained to the dubious guys. Instead, she had them include a category for body type—athletic, slim, tall, and so on. She also cut down Kremen’s intimidating laundry list of questions. Fewer questions enticed more people to register, which meant a larger database and a greater selection of potential matches.

But they had a catch-22. Women weren’t going to join unless there were other women online. Maier, along with other women brought on to help spread the word, started by recruiting friends. They created a logo—a radiant red heart inside a purple circle—and printed up promotional brochures. To entice people to try out the service, they held promotional events at happy hours in Palo Alto, where the turnout was generally, as the Match marketing executive Alexandra Bailliere put it, “30 guys with pocket protectors and no women in sight.”

Trish McDermott, a marketing executive who’d worked for a matchmaking firm and founded a dating-business trade association, and the others would slip on fake wedding bands to ward off the guys. “Are you interested in meeting new people?” she’d say. “This is a new dating site, like personals in the newspaper but it’s on the internet.” Then she’d get a blank stare as the person would ask, “What’s the internet?”

They weren’t just targeting heterosexual women; they were going for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender communities. Match’s marketing consultant, Simon Glinsky, pointed out to Kremen how the gay community had already been early adopters online, using bulletin boards and nascent communities such as America Online, CompuServe, and Prodigy for dating. Glinsky related from his own experience, having grown up in Georgia, where meeting other gays was a struggle.

Glinsky went to a gay computer club, where members gathered to talk about AOL and the latest deals at Radio Shack, to explain Match to the crowd. Match held a promotion during a gay skate night at a roller rink in Burlingame, just north of Palo Alto. Bailliere and Glinsky urged skaters to come over and learn more about Match, offering to take their photos with giant digital cameras—which seemed exotic at the time. One by one, the skaters marveled at seeing their faces appear on the computers, and word began to spread.

The San Francisco Examiner ran an early piece on Match, speculating that it could transform the “grand old dating game,” as it put it. “What happens when singles have an alternative to bars,” the article went on, “and don’t just meet based on first impression/physical attractiveness alone?”

[Read: The 5 years that changed dating]

On April 21, 1995, Kremen launched Match.com. Match was a free service, supported by ads, with the idea to charge for subscriptions when it grew. And there was only one way for it to reach that point. “We need more women!” Kremen shouted, storming through their basement office. “Everyone wants to go to a party where there’s women!” he said. “Every woman means 10 guys join!”

Since they didn’t have any women besides their own employees and their handful of friends, they had to create some themselves. Maier dispatched interns to Usenet groups, where they posted laudatory reviews of Match. When Rolling Stone wanted to run a piece on Match, along with a sample profile of a female member, the women at the office scrambled to invent one. Bailliere drew the short straw, slipped a black jacket over a white T-shirt, and smiled for the camera. Her fake profile, “Sally,” said she was seeking a 25-to-35-year-old guy for an Activities Partner, Short Term Romance, or Long Term Romance to “go hiking and have LOTS of fun.” (Match.com did not respond to a request for comment.)

Having her profile, albeit fake, in a high-profile magazine sent a stream of messages to the email Bailliere had set up. A German in Brazil told her he wanted to use her to re-create Nazi youth camps, and became so obsessive that she grew nervous. “Gary,” she told Kremen, “I don’t know who this person is or if he’s really even in Brazil.” Concerned, the team worked with consultants to develop safety guidelines, such as meeting prospective men from the internet in public places. Maier had them market Match as “safe, anonymous, and fun.” They also invented self-policing tools for people on Match—such as giving them the ability to block and report others for bad behavior.

The site’s PR executive, McDermott, began hosting a weekly chat session called “Tuesdays With Trish” to dole out dating advice. She billed Match as the dating solution for the emerging online generation. “We’re delaying marriage,” she’d tell reporters. “Many of us moved away from home, and many were just moving from suburbs and starting careers and we lost all that fabric of informal matchmaking when we stay home … You can put a profile up this morning and that night have a response waiting for you.”

This post is adapted from David Kushner’s new book, The Player’s Ball: A Genius, a Con Man, and the Secret History of the Internet’s Rise.

The post Recruiting Women to Online Dating Was a Challenge appeared first on .

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#Breaking News

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daemonvols · 7 years

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Chapter Four

That Which Hosts the Undead Would Be as Scary

The men in my romance novels are unfailingly handsome. That breed of handsome that takes the breath away from however many readers it takes to create a “bestseller”. Such a man may have a scar – physical or mental, take your choic – but it becomes him, makes him that much more vulnerable and therefore more attractive. The authors of my romances, I’m told, write them that way for maximum arousal and some mental drooling (actual drooling I’d rather not consider; it damages the book). My point is, the hero could have a hairy mole, for crying out loud, but the authors are careful to place such flaws where they will cause the strongest visceral reaction among their readers.

By comparison, however, this gravedigger turned grave robber in the Plutarch grave fell a bit short. Yes, he was the same man who “stirred” my feelings from a distance that afternoon. I knew him from the union shirt and the jeans that fit so well (especially there). I knew and wanted the big hands pushing at the shovel’s handle on my own body while his square jaw sagged in profanity because he could not pry the lid open.

But the face?

I’ve had time and proximity since that night to try to find the words for the face as I saw it in the yellow Coleman light on that April evening. First, take my Grandpa Dov’s favorite comic strip hero, Dick Tracy. Remove the yellow Fedora and make the hair brown, wavy and wind-blown. Second, widen the eyes enough to tell from a few yards that they are brown, a soft, sable brown. Next, soften Tracy’s building block of a nose a little while you’re at it. Last, put that head on good shoulders on top of a strong chest that narrows down to those perfect-fitting jeans and there he stood, straddling Eulalie Plutarch’s coffined remains in pretty well-worn black Nikes. I almost envied her the view of that inseam.

A rustling in the hedge that separates Sections E and F told me Jerry tried to hide out of the light. I stood at the edge and kicked some of the loose dirt down into the grave. The digger turned robber lifted those eyes to me and scowled.

“Who the fuck are you?”

He told me later than I flinched. All I remember is that his question offended me. I can appreciate well-timed profanity. I’ve uttered my share in the appropriate circumstances. But when you’re caught (excuse the expression) dead to rights in a felony, I’ve always considered it bad manners to lead with the f-word.

I kicked in a little more dirt before I answered. “Well, since I pay the union who pays you, I guess that indirectly makes me your boss.”

He drew the shovel upright, balancing it on one of the brass handles on the side, and leaned on it. Then he smiled. I won’t say I was a goner when he smiled because that’s one pun too many for one scene in a cemetery. But, as I recall it, the night had grown a little less chilly.

“So you’re the lady in charge. Farmer, isn’t it?”

“It is. And you are?”

He started to laugh with a sideways glance. “Charlie. Charlie Tischler.”

“OK, Charlie Tischler, what precisely are you doing? You’re over five hours late filling in the grave and I would think standing in it is not the ideal position to do the job. Nor is the time particularly good, seeing that you’re digging in the dark.”

He chuckled. “You got that right. But do you know who this is?”

“From the death certificate and the papers, yes.”

“She’s the richest b-“

“Don’t say it. Neither of us knew her that well when she was alive.”

He stared at me for a moment. Not his most endearing expression; he looked like a snapping turtle who’s been poked from behind. He rephrased. “She was extremely rich and she wanted to be buried with a lot of her jewelry.”

“You know this how?”

“Her sons hung around after the service. They were fighting over letting diamond rings and pearl drop earrings and gold necklaces that are now in the ground on a rotting corpse. Must have gone on at each other for quarter of an hour. They agreed to let it lie for now. But, as you can see,” here he gestured to the shovel and the dirt on his hand, “I disagreed with their decision.”

“And the coffin lid is locked.”

His arrogance sagged a little with his jaw. “Yeah. I have a little turd for a partner. Looks like he ran for it.”

“And here we are. In point of fact, you’re screwed.”

“If you’re calling the cops, I guess I am.”

I suppose I did think it over too long because his mouth was just starting to curl up in that smile again. Not one of the heroes in my books had that smile.

I tried to look – and feel - indifferent to that smile. And him. “OK, I’m not going to run back to my office to call the police because, by the time they arrive, you’ll have filled in the grave and run off. Yes, I have your name and a description to give them, but I don’t think you wouldn’t have an alibi and I’m in no mood to get into a he said/she said spat that the newspapers will eat up and that will cost me my job.” His smile widened to show teeth so straight he had to have endured yesars of sadistic orthodontists and their metal braces. “But what I will tell you is that you’d better fill in the grave and get out of here as fast as you can. I am by far the least dangerous thing in this cemetery.”

He laughed. A low, rolling sound that left me a little dizzy. “Why? You telling me there are ghoulies and ghosties around?”

My Grandma Rose always said deep breaths clear the mind and stiffen the backbone. That smile and that laugh had me wobbling, so I took three. “I have no idea what a ghoulie is, but, yes, we have ghosts and vampires here. They’re all very territorial. I know they won’t take kindly to someone violating a grave in their cemetery.”

He laughed again. “And what will the werewolves think?”

“I can’t say. This is a cemetery. A place for dead people. Technically, werewolves are still alive.”

You insert a quick question: do werewolves exist? I’ve heard that they do, but I cannot prove it one way or the other. I’ve never seen one since I live at the CPF and I rarely venture into Syracuse. However, I have heard of a pack running near the university. And that’s enough to keep me from going downtown when there’s a full moon.

“Look,” I said, “there about two dozen vampires who will be returning from feeding in Syracuse before long. They may be sated or they may not. For all I know, some of the younger ones might like you for dessert and the older ones can always make exceptions for people who piss them off. So, if they find you here still trying to break into Eulalie’s coffin, they will hurt you. They may even kill you. I strongly suggest you get your ass out of there, fill in the grave and leave.”

He studied me a long time. Long enough for me to look over all of the adjoining sections and count a few headstones. “You’re serious,” he said. “I almost believe you.”

“I’d recommend you do. In short, Charlie Tischler, you’ve got choices here. You can decide that I’m crazy,” I told him. “You can take your chances and keep working at the latch – which will give after a while, by the way. But you won’t live through the night if you do. Or –“ and, looking back, this is where I lost my mind before I lost my heart – “you can come to the house on your next night off and I’ll introduce you to some of them.”

He narrowed his eyes. I braced for more laughter or a string of profanities to insult my intelligence. He did neither. He did something decidedly un-manly: he listened and considered what I had said. “I’m tempted,” he admitted, “but I don’t know when I could do that. I work two jobs and a lot of double shifts at the Book-of-the-Month club. Might be a week, might be two weeks.”

Might be never. “Fine. They’re not going anywhere and neither am I. Leave me a phone message about which day. The union office has my number. Only give me a few days’ notice to make the arrangements.” I turned away and walked a little, then turned back for the effect. “And plan on coming between nine and nine-thirty. Our residents don’t care much for the sunlight.”

I was reasonably sure Charlie had taken my advice to do without Eulalie Plutarch’s jewelry. If he hadn’t, if Derek and his “family” had found him and, as I suspected, feasted on him, I’m sure Missy and Mischa would have come screeching into my bedroom about the mess and how was I going to clean that up? The publicity alone would doom me.

Besides, the grave was filled in the next morning.

And here you ask another question: How did I get to such a razor’s edge with the Board? I’ll try to make the long story a little shorter than plowing through over a hundred and fifty years of documentation.

My family’s relationship with the Board of Directors has been strained from the very beginning, or ever since Jacob Baumann applied for the caretaker and gravedigger job in 1840. It is never a good start to an employer-employee when the interviewing committee’s secretary, the Reverend Dieter Bruner, makes notes like these next to a badly-printed copy of the foundation’s charter:

Next to the First Article: “We get only one applicant and it’s a filthy Jew not four months off the boat. I’ll bet my hat he speaks no English.”

Second Article: “I’d have lost my hat. He speaks English. Speaks it better than Halberforth (Abernathy Halberforth, President of the Association). Speaks it better than Mason (Raymond Mason was the Association’s attorney), for the love of God! The Devil’s in this!”

Third Article: “In agony now, wanting to laugh and yet I want the man arrested for (a trail of blotted ink here) WITCHCRAFT! He’s got Meecham (Jerome Meecham, the treasurer) agreeing that the advertisement misrepresented the offer of compensation!”

Fourth Article: “Lord God in Heaven, save us sinners now and at the hour of our death, which has to be nigh! This man has us in his thrall!”

Most of the rest of the drama queen’s notes are smeared, but they seem to be in large part expressions of mental anguish and a pious whining at Life in general and the Divine Being in particular. I can’t read it without thinking it would make a sensational blog. Lots of followers and people to “Like” the page. That is, until readers tired of the whining – I’d give it a week at best – and they told Bruner in text and tweet to get an f-ing life.

Either in spite of or because of the Reverend’s side notes, the Board hired Jacob. They and their heirs tolerated him and his male heirs, despite having to give them a house, a carriage house, and eventually electricity by the time Jacob’s grandson Isaac was caretaker. Over the next 160 years, the Board saw quiet men who did their job and had families that caused no public comment satisfied them, whether the Board honestly was happy about their employees or not.

To be fair, the relationship wasn’t all unspoken tension. Once, around 1920, in what I can only assume was a fog of patriotic fever, the Board issued my great-great-grandfather Isidore and his son Jack a public commendation for their “good and faithful” service during the influenza pandemic of 1918-1919. Between the two of us, however, I still think the Board wanting some good publicity to come out of having the space for so many bodies.

But the bad feelings returned soon enough. Great-grandfather Jack took them to court to force the Board to pay for the installation of indoor plumbing. Grandpa Dov fought with them to the point of filing a lawsuit over cost-of-living increases, insurance and the like after the Second World War. And the current Board members were none too keen on my crazy father Barry, who had wandered the cemetery at night to “tuck in” all the residents, had scared off his wife after producing one female child, and then had driven my grandfather’s Buick off the then incomplete 690 bypass all by the time I was five.

Grandpa Dov and Grandma Rose died after I graduated college with a Business degree, so the position came down to me. But, in the Board’s eyes, I was a single female of child-bearing age with no observable marital prospects. They exercised some interpretation of their prerogative so that I had to endure an application and interview process, despite Jacob’s contract article requiring that members of his family stay in the job to the end of the family line. Heaven knows these descendants tried, but they could find no escape clause and found themselves honoring the contract with a woman.

It must have bruised their egos. I kept their books and records as well, and in most cases, better than my grandparents because I could use a computer. I don’t even keep a cat. And yet, it has always been a precarious existence for me. One sixteenth of a column of bad publicity and I could be fighting for my house and my job.

I sat up in the office for an hour and a half after leaving Charlie standing with his mouth open in Eulalie’s grave. No ghosts, no vampires, not even a soft spring breeze disturbed the quiet. I had only to calm the disturbance Charlie Tischler had created in me: a roil of hormones and other bodily responses I hadn’t had since the age of 14 when I’d picked up my first romance, A Love Unknown. Grandma Rose had thought I had menstrual cramps and recommended an ice pack and chocolate. I didn’t say no.

Age, however, turns such indulgences to fat, so I had to quell the (let’s be honest) arousal in another way. That took several deep Grandma Rose breaths, a dose or two of reality and the promise of better company in my books.

So I went up to bed and let the pull-up-toned arms of Brett Shackleford, the hero of His Arms, take my mind into a tight and promising embrace.

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museemagazine · 7 years

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#WHM Yoon Ji Seon

We’ll be tapping our incredible archives in support of Women’s History Month and International Women’s Day and posting interviews from our Women issue throughout the month of March.

Yoon Ji Seon two faced

When did you begin photographing?

My first solo exhibition was 1999, and from that time I’ve done a lot of photo work.

Did you go to art school or are you self-taught? Did you start out as a photographer? I want to know the progression.

I graduated from an art school called Hannam University in Daejeon, a city in the middle of South Korea. I started with painting, but it was too difficult. Because art has a long history, and many different things have been done already. Monet and Cézanne had already done everything what I wanted to do. Every time I painted, I felt like I was copying their work. So I started to use photography, because you can see what you want exactly from the photograph.

What was you very first photograph?

I was posing with my hands. I made my hands look like a vagina. It was my hands with men’s legs, because men’s legs are very hairy.

OK. So, how did you make the transition to using thread?

I had been using photography for a long time and sometimes, I would make a little hole in the photo and put some hair. I planted hair in the photo and I’d also make tiny holes in the photo with an acupuncture needle. It was hard because it’s so tiny, and I had to make thousands of thousands of holes. I just accidentally saw a sewing machine, and you know, there’s a needle in the sewing machine. So I thought it would be easier to make holes in the photo using a sewing machine.

Did you sew before?

I never learned how to sew with a sewing machine. I tried to make stitches, and I made lot of mistakes. I mostly learned from the mistakes. It’s not normal sewing, like for clothes. It’s very different from that kind of sewing. The sewing machine broke many times. The man who fixes the machine, he insisted that I stop. I was torturing the sewing machine. It’s not a common way to use it. At the beginning, I’d stitch by hand, but those were small pieces. Now that my work is getting bigger and thicker, I mostly use the machine.

How long is the process? For example, the big one on the back wall [Rag Face #14001 (2014)], how long did that take?

I spent about 15 hours per day, for three months. I hurt my neck from that work. And I had insomnia, because I couldn’t stop. Imagine, the sewing machine’s on this side, and the work is this big, and I had to roll it while I was working. My room is very small, so I couldn’t unroll it to see the work. I had to remember everything I did. That’s why I couldn’t stop working. And that’s why I didn’t sleep.

You address Korean culture, and women in Korean culture, and how cosmetic surgery promotes the idea of sameness and universal beauty. Do you think this is a Western influence?

You mean plastic surgery?

Yes.

There is a Korean saying. When somebody hears something they don’t want to hear, they say, “Stitch that mouth.” I got the idea of stitching from that saying. Also, when I was in Ireland in 2003, I read a newspaper from Great Britain and there was an article about an Iraqi artist. He stitched his eyes and his mouth, with a real needle, because he was about to be sent from Britain to his own country. He was protesting against the government. I got the idea of stitching form that article as well. At the beginning, I didn’t think about how plastic surgery is connected to my work. But as I was doing it, I realized that people could make the connection with the plastic surgery. But that wasn’t an intention at the beginning. I think that plastic surgery is like shopping. It’s like a shopping trend.

What was your intent in making some of the faces in the pieces purposely grotesque? What attracts you to the grotesque?

I didn’t just want beauty. I’m not against beauty, but I didn’t want to put a general beauty in my work. I wanted to put some humor. One of my nephews, when he saw the work, said, “Aunt, you have noodles coming out from your nose.” It was fun, and I wanted to put some humor in it. It’s also a mixture of timeline. I like to mix the timeline.

What do you mean by “mixing the timeline”?

YJS: I’ll give you two examples. I once used bones of pigs and cows. And I made a hole and planted my hair on the bone. Usually, if you think about our body, we have bones, and then we have skin, and then we have hair. But I just planted hair onto the bone. One more example, I had a seventh generation grandfather. He’s an artist from long time ago. There was a portrait of him, and I planted my pubic hair onto his eyes, so it made it look like a vagina. Usually with DNA, we have a grandfather and father and then me. But I went back to before his ancestors. So it’s not the way time flows, from the past to the future. That’s what I meant by mixing the timeline.

Do you consider yourself a photographer or a photographic artist?

I don’t want to be defined. I just do what I want to do.

Do you think it will always include photography?

I like the saying from Man Ray: “I paint what cannot be photographed. I photograph what I do not wish to paint.” It explains my work very much.

Why do you keep doing self-portraiture instead of choosing a model?

Many people ask that. Why self-portrait, right? Like the novel, The Scarlet Letter, during the Joseon Dynasty in Korea, in the 17th Century, there was a punishment if you painted your face with black ink. Because we think that hurting our body or destroying our body is not beautiful and very disrespectful to our parents. If you do something like that, it’s like a punishment. It’s a taboo. I once planned a solo exhibition but it was cancelled because people were scared of what I did. The other reason why I do self-portraits is because that’s the easiest model I could find.

Is there anything that you had to leave out of your current show that you wish you hadn’t?

Mostly, I like what they installed. I sent them the work a long time ago, so I really missed them. You know, I’m like the mother of the pieces. So I really missed them. It was really nice to see them again.

When you did the stitching, the different stitches and colors creates shades and tonalities, like how on a print, you have different tones of grays. It’s like you’re sculpting the face. Was this intentional?

It depends on the work. I’m not intending to do it. If you look closely, you can see the layers and layers of the work, and the different colors. For example, I started with black thread, but when the work is telling me, “I don’t want that thread; I want a different one,” then I use a different one. Sometimes I intend it and see it. And sometimes it just works out.

If you weren’t an artist, what would you be?

If I wasn’t an artist, I don’t know what I’d be doing right now. I’m sure that I’d be happy. I’m doing what I really love in life. If there is a God, I feel that I am so blessed.

What is it like being a woman artist in Korea? Is it different than it is here?

I don’t know what the environment is here. It’s too difficult to get married and have children for a woman artist in Korea.

Why is that? Because of the career?

There’s no time. It’s too much work taking care of babies and husbands. You know, in Korea, we say, “My husband is my big baby. My big son.” The husband is like one of the children. It’s been like this for a long time in Korean society. Most of housework is done by women. If I had children and house and husband, it would be really hard to find time for myself.

Is there equality for women in Korea? Do women get paid the same?

No.

It’s the same here. But are women artists received well? Are they looked upon with respect?

It’s not good there. The important positions in the art business are mostly men. And if you’re a pretty woman artist, and you want to be famous, you have to date one of these men. As a woman artist, if your work is extraordinarily good, there’s no need to date powerful men. But there are many, many similar women artists, who are on the same level. If you are prettier, then you can use that power.

How long did it take you to put the installation together from the first piece to the last?

Actually, Yossi Milo has my work from 2012. So three years.

What’s next?

I want to work. Because I had to prepare for this show, I couldn’t work as much as I wanted. So I just want to go back to work right away.

Will you continue the stitch work or will it be something else?

I have other series, like the one you saw with the light-box. I want to continue that work, along with this work, Rag Face.

#whm #WHM #Womens History Month #Yoon Ji Seon

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ink-and-flame · 4 years

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Outright Blanket Thievery

Pairing: HumanF/OrcgreM/OrcM [Reader/Gorrim/Gorvok] Rating: GEN DC (Diabetic Coma Alert) Tags: Silliness, Comfort, Cuddling? Word Count: 3313

[Authors Note: I am not going to lie, your prompt gave me the giggles something awful, but I appreciate you giving me time to finish nano and deal with my pneumonia. Sorry this took so long but getting back in the groove has taken some time.I was also inundated with enough work projects for 3 full-time employees and have been consistently pulling 12 hour days. Your patience is a blessing.]

@monster-bait

As beautiful as winter could be, sometimes a person just wanted it to be over. Despite the heat being on you were still freezing. Sitting on the couch under a couple of blankets and shivering slightly while trying to focus on the TV. Binge watching Netflix alone wasn’t nearly as much fun as it was when your roommates were around, but you were bored and didn’t want to do anything that would require you to move out from under the blankets. Your cocoon of warm was slowly beginning to work and you were just not willing to ruin all your effort even to get up for a drink.

When you had initially found this place on Ulric’s List there was the feeling of it being too good to be true. The location was incredible, as was the building. The area was one of the more expensive ones to live in but the rent was reasonable. You would have roommates but they were professionals that were not home as much. That was why the rent was low, it turned out. They were looking to rent to someone that would be willing to take care of the place while they were gone, and they would be gone often. You would have your own bedroom and bathroom, but all other areas were shared. Despite the lack of private entrance, and your own kitchen, it was simply too good to pass up.

Agreeing to an interview and wanting a chance to view the apartment and check out the area, you decided to meet them there on one of their days off which was in the middle of the week. It wasn’t the greatest of accommodations but with their schedules it was the best that could be done. When you first met them you weren’t sure who was more surprised, you or them. They had not expected a human to respond to the ad, and you had not expected your roommates to be the largest, meanest, most aggressive looking people you had ever seen. One, Gorvok, was an impressively large orc, who was the biggest orc you had ever met, and somehow the other, Gorrim, was taller. You had never met a half orc half ogre before, in fact you had never seen an ogre up close but now you were pretty sure they were massive and terrifying.

It had been a mistake on your part, not realizing that when you brought up the results for the apartment hunt, that you did not filter the results meant for humans. What you had done is filtered out the human results instead. It had been your intention to apologize and be on your way, but Gorvok had stopped you. He believed that this arrangement could work out. As a human, the bedroom would be more space than you would get in a human sized apartment. It would allow you to have separate spaces in your room and afford you more privacy. Also, being human would not impede your ability to look after the place, it really wouldn’t take much.

There was still the issue of your comfort. Both males were worried that you would be afraid of them, but you realized that to do so would just perpetuate existing stereotypes, which you weren’t too keen on despite your initial surprise and hesitation. Also you were never going to find another offer like this. It was more than affordable, and nicer than anything you would be able to find on your own. Pushing your anxiety aside, you took the offer and moved in two weeks later, and honestly it was still one of the best decisions you had ever made in your life.

You had the whole place to yourself more often than not, and all those worries about having male roommates and them being creeps was unfounded. You were pretty sure they were actually a couple to start, and if they weren’t well that didn’t matter. Neither had done anything to make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, the opposite in fact. Both were eager to make sure your comfort level was maintained and had even stepped in when one of the neighbors got too friendly with you. More so than you had ever felt in the past, you felt safe.

In all honesty you had thought the best part of the arrangement would be how often you had the place to yourself, but you had become surprisingly lonely. Especially after the first few times you actually hung out socially with your roommates. Despite a few awkward moments and cultural misunderstandings, you discovered that they were surprisingly fun to spend time with. They were warm, friendly, a little mischievous but not in a mean way. Gorrim in particular was fond of gentle pranks, never anything mean or potentially hurtful. Mostly just silly stuff that made everyone laugh. While Gorvok was a fan of puns, to the point that both you and Gorrim would sometimes boo him out of the room or ground him just to make him stop.

Overall, you were happier when they were around and that made the nights apart both harder and yet easier. The only reason it was easier was because you realized, after almost a year with them, that you had begun to genuinely care for them both. You worried for them, and wanted to take care of them as best you could. The shock came when you realized that you had developed a rather embarrassing crush on both men in turn, and alternated between which one you fantasized about, though lately the fantasies had taken a bit of a turn and you no longer had to choose, both were there and somehow that made it worse.

Thus far you had managed not to embarass or out yourself and kept your desires secret. It was more than physical, you knew that, but there was still a physical element. Part of the problem was over time you had all become comfortable with each other, so much so that you realized that there were some cultural modesty differences, mostly in that modesty seemed to not exist in orcish culture. Nudity was not seen as obscene or even sexual. The first time you walked into the kitchen to find Gorvok nude had been an experience that had you hiding in your room for days and Gorvok being somewhat upset for much longer. Eventually you got over it, but you couldn’t tell him the real reason you were upset. You just blamed it on your humanity and apologized.

Though if you thought Gorvok cut an impressive figure, then catching Gorrim working out had almost broken you. Both males had strong, muscular bodies, but not like bodybuilders. They had solid forms with some softness. They were also both impossibly hairy, Gorrim more than Gorvok, but that was the Ogre in him. Ogres were known to be quite hairy, some had fur, and most had horns. Like orcs they had tusks, but Ogres had two sets and sometimes their tusks grew large enough that dental intervention was required to prevent permanent damage. Never in your life had you felt such a strong attraction to anyone, but these two did something to you that you simply couldn’t explain.

Now you had to fight back your own wants and desires for everyone's sake. They were your roommates and if they weren’t dating each other you assumed they were gay. Not because of any thing specific they had said, but because you were positive you heard them fucking on more than one occasion yet it was never addressed or even mentioned. You weren’t sure how to bring it up and didn’t want to upset anyone by asking the wrong kind of question, so you just pretended you heard nothing.

So there you were, curled up on the couch freezing despite the blankets and the fire going. You were alone and a little miserable. Not just because of the cold, but because you were lonely, lonely and bored. Sure it was easier on your labido when they weren’t around and it helped avoid any potentially awkward moments, but that didn’t change the fact that despite your attraction to them they were also your friends. It just wasn’t as much fun without Gorrim’s pranks or Gorvok’s terrible puns. Ok, so maybe you could live without some of his terrible puns, but still.

You knew Gorvok was going to be gone longer this time. He was visiting his family, some emergency involving his brother. You hadn’t even known he had a brother until he was getting ready to leave. The look in his eyes still haunted you a bit. Orcs were close with their family and clans and it was clear his brother was someone important to him, you were afraid to ask what was going on and why he never mentioned his family before but you left it be.

Gorrim was supposed to be back sometime this week, but you weren’t sure when. So for now you were just stuck alone, cold, bored, and lonely. You had other friends you could hang out with, but you wanted your roommates home. It was a different feeling and it made you melancholy to think about it too much. Sinking further into the couch you sighed, you were still thirsty.

Lost in your malaise of misery and mummification in the blankets on the couch that you missed the sound of a key in the door and Gorrim coming in. He was usually a loud individual and you normally wouldn’t have missed it, but he was being surprisingly quiet. You didn’t even know you were no longer alone in the apartment until you heard his deep gravelly voice from behind you.

“I did not realize humans had a cocoon stage.”

You screamed and fell off the couch in a tangled heap of blankets, struggling on the floor as the sound of booming laughter filled the space. Of course after the initial panic you recognized Gorrim’s voice and just layed in a small heap on the floor and waited for him to stop laughing and help you. Thankfully it didn't take long and soon you were lifted into the air and and set gently on the couch. It took a bit longer for you to unwind yourself from the blankets but you managed and just glared up at the still chuckling Gorrim.

“Was that really necessary?” You asked as you wiggled out from under the blankets.

“Probably not, but it was funny. I had no idea I would scare you so much.” He smiled and sat down on the couch.

Despite the laughter he looked tired and like something was on his mind. You glanced over at him and wavered between asking and just sitting there pretending to be angry about it. You weren’t really upset, it hadn’t even hurt and it was kind of funny. Looking away you stared at the fire not really realizing what it looked like with you just sitting there, no TV or anything on, just wrapped in a blanket on the couch.

“You hear from Gorvok yet?” Gorrim asked after a few moments.

“No, you?” You glanced over looking hopeful only to see him shake his head looking solom.

You were both quiet for a bit, just sitting in silence until Gorrim got up and headed toward the kitchen. You turned around on the couch and called out to him to get his attention.

“Hey, while you are up, can you get me drink?”

Gorrim stopped and turned around slowly with a curious look on his face. “Did falling off the couch make you thirsty?”

“Nope!” You smiled. “I have been thirsty for a while. Just didn’t want to get off the couch.”

Gorrim started laughing again, and hard. He was shaking his head and just giving you this look.

“What? I was comfortable and it is cold!” You pouted, sulking a bit but it was clear he was going to do as you asked.

He came back a few minutes later carrying two mugs of hot chocolate. His was significantly larger, and when he handed you yours you could see the tiny marshmallows floating in the drink. It was kind of sweet and adorable. It was also one of the many reasons you liked him so much. Gorrim was thoughtful and kind, even if he was a bit of a punk sometimes.

“Thank you.” You took the drink and sipped it. Having to let go of the blanket and let it slip down.

The hot chocolate went a long way to warming you and you were distracted by not only the sweet drink but the warmth filling you that you didn’t notice the blanket inching off of you slowly. Humming quietly you pulled the cup to your chest, eyes closed as you let the warmth fill you. It wasn’t just the drink, having Gorrim back made the room seem warmer somehow. When you finally opened your eyes and set your drink down you noticed the blanket was now only half on your lap and over by Gorrim, who for his part, looked innocent as usual.

You looked him up and down, then at the blanket, then at him again. You weren’t sure if the blanket had actually just slipped off you or if he had something to do with it. Leaving it for now, as you were a bit warmer, you went back to your drink and the silence. This was a much better silence than before. It was a comfortable silence and not a lonely one. Lost in thought again, worried about Gorvok, you didn’t notice the blanket inching away from you again.

By the time you did notice, the blanket was no longer on you at all and somehow was now on Gorrim who looked perfectly pleased with himself as you just stared at him.

“Ahem…. That was mine.”

“Technically. It is a communal blanket.” He countered.

“Yes, but, I was using it.”

“And now I am.”

There was something about his smug, matter of fact delivery that fueled your bravery. You set your cup aside, noticing his was on the table, so spills would not be a problem. Reaching over you tugged at the blanket, but it would not budge from his iron grip.

“Why are you trying to take my blanket?” Gorrim asked ever so innocently

“Your blanket?” Your voice pitched up. “I thought it was a communal blanket?” It was hard to keep a straight face but you did your best.

“Mine now.” He quipped and had the audacity to snuggle further into the blanket with an over exaggerated sigh.

“Oh that is it!”

Launching yourself at him bodily you tugged at the blankets with all your might. Of course Gorrim didn’t have to do much to fend you off being about 4 times your size and stronger than anyone you ever knew. It was like trying to wrestle a statue. He wasn’t moving, even a little. How ever you did notice the smallest hint of a smile on his face.

“FINE! If you are going to be a selfish blanket hog, then I will have to improvise.”

You weren’t sure what fueled your bravery at this point, as there were lines that had never been crossed by you. This was your roommate who was potentially in a relationship with your other roommate. None of that mattered in this moment as you tugged the blanket up instead of to the side and crawled under it and up into his lap. Wiggling and struggling until you popped up from under the blanket with your back to his chest and the blanket pressed tight to you as you made yourself at home on his lap.

“Maybe next time you will stop hogging all the blanket and this wouldn’t happen, but since you are being an absolute child about it, now you have to share!” You hrmfed, glad that he couldn’t see your face as you could just feel the heat in your cheeks.

This was the most sustained physical contact that you had ever had with him. There had been physical contact in the past, you guys had lived together for over a year. Hugs happened rarely but they happened. There were plenty of other small instances, but never anything like this. You were in his lap, you could feel the warmth of his body, the softness of his stomach, the hard muscles of his chest, hell you could feel his breath on your head, stirring your hair a bit. Wiggling slightly you leaned back harder into him and made an exaggerated sigh just like he had.

Your whole body shook with his laughter as you felt his massive strong arms wind around you as he leaned down and rested his chin on top of your head.

“Well, alright then.” He continued to laugh but it died down after a minute. “I was wondering if you were ever going to warm up to me.” he added softly.

You were silent for a bit, not sure what he meant. Slowly you turned a bit so you could look at him, the confusion clear in your eyes. You felt him shrug as he looked at you.

“You’ve been a perfect roommate, you are wonderful. You just seemed like you’ve tried to keep your distance. I get that half breeds have a reputation and I know how frightening I look.” He paused for a moment as you seemed to struggle to find words. “I mean you are friendly enough with us and I always enjoy socializing, but you seem to keep us at arms length, so I wasn’t sure, that's all.”

You were quiet for long moment. “I just.. I wasn’t sure where the line was. I thought you and Gorvok were. Um… well.. I mean.. Not to make assumptions but.. See…” You were struggling and the face journey you were going on must have been something because Gorrims smile just got bigger and bigger and you just knew something dumb was going to fly out of your mouth. “I heard you guys.” and there it was.

Gorrims booming laughter almost shook you right off his lap, but he had a pretty good grip on you so you weren’t going anywhere.

“I see.” He rumbled close to your ear.

To your credit you managed to stop the full body shiver that would have given a little too much away. “I… didn’t want to say something insensitive or anything like that. So I just. I wasn’t sure because you guys don’t always act like a couple.” Throwing up your hands you started over explaining. “Not that there's anything wrong with that. Every relationship is different and I am fine with any sexuality. OHNO! I am in your lap and this must be so awkward for you!” As deep embarrassment filled you, you tried to wiggle out of his grasp but he was holding quite tightly to you.

His voice was back against your ear, and you could swear you felt the brush of his lips against your neck, but that must have been your mind playing tricks on you. “If only life were that simple. My relationship with Gorvok is complicated, we don’t really do labels all that well if I am being honest. While we are airing things out, I think it is only fair for you to know that both Gorvok and myself don’t have any gender restrictions in the lovers we take and the relationships we build.”

You froze, your mind trying to piece together exactly what he was saying when you felt that warmth against your neck. This time the pressure wasn’t something you can ignore when his deep voice washed over you. This time it vibrated you straight to your core.

“When it comes to someone special, we like to share.”

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