#i like romancing shane and sebastian but i wanna try and romance sam sometime

[babiebom]

Stardew Bachelor/ette's as relationship tropes

A/N: because this is cute and im in my feelings watching the little mermaid im feeling so giddy omfg THIS MOVIE WAS MADE FOR MEEKLALQOWOSOA also plus victor and Sofia(sophia?) WOW so if anyone has already read this it was not finished nor was it supposed to be posted so as I finish it it'll just be updating because i don't wanna delete it oopsies!

Tw: none? Idk maybe bullying???

Genre: headcanons

Wc:maybe like 5 bullet points per thing?

Sdv Masterlist

Strangers to Lovers:

Emily

Penny

Leah

Elliott

Friends to Lovers:

I feel like Penny and Leah would be a meet-cute sorta thing like at a coffee shop or a library

Maybe elliott also at the library or at a bar

But I feel like with Emily it would be somewhere chaotic

Like a concert

Or a rally of some sort

All of these would be like a romance novel of some sort you meet your soulmate on a chance outing super cute!!!

Sam

Sophia(Sofia?)

Enemies to Lovers:

Harvey

All of these guys seem as if they fall hard for friends mostly

Like yeah they sometimes find a stanger attractive

But I feel as if these people are the kind to slowly develop a crush on someone they already know

Sam would make the best tv show character and Sophia(pls someone tell me how to spell) and Harvey would make better book characters

Haley

Sebastian

Abigail

Second chance:

Alex

You probably absolutely hated these guys ngl

Like I feel like they have enemy quality

Like especially Haley and Alex they have high school bully energy to me

So even if they weren't bullys they would somehow end up on your kill list

Seb and Abigail seem like general assholes and probably did something to piss you off(im saying this as a Seb girlie)

Honestly my favorite genre to read but that's because i am toxic oops

Shane

Victor

Maru

I feel like these three would've been in relationships they had to let go of for different reasons and now that time has passed you meet again and get that second chance at loving one another

Shane would prolly be because of his downward spiral and you two broke up after a heated fight because he just refused to try so you left(Jas was torn up but doesn't really remember because she was younger)

Victor prolly had to break up with you because of Olivia and different statuses in money. She only wants the best for her son and unfortunately in her eyes you were not it.

For Maru i think its obvious Demetrius had something to do about it. Maybe you were in a relationship in high school

And even if her grades didn't slip at all when he found out he made her break up with you to force her to focus on her future.

[noirandchocolate]

I was just in the tag and saw this is apparently a meme and wanted to participate!  I hope that’s okay.  Anyway,

Why I Wouldn’t Romance the Stardew Bachelors

Sam--Way too young for me unless I was specifically making a Younger Me OC, which I wasn’t.  Young and acts young.  Dropped an egg on the floor and let me take the rap with his mom.  Regularly drinks Joja Colas I fish out of the ocean (he doesn’t know that, but I do).

Sebastian--Too young for me.  Is a disaffected edgyboi who complains about his family and friends despite them being pretty great.  Smokes.  Really wants to leave Pelican Town and so I’d feel terrible stopping him.

Alex--Too young for me.  Asked me if I owned a bikini when we barely knew each other, and brushed me off a lot.   Almost certainly would disapprove of me making and drinking alcohol (understandably, but still, it’s a point against because I wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable).   Will not let me pet Dusty in canon, so I have to imagine it myself like a pleb.

Elliott--Lives in a shack on the beach and complains about having to clean it. It was your choice to live there, friend!  Actually despite making this choice he complains about it a lot.  Meanwhile I’m elbows deep in fertilizer and cow udders every day.   (PS How is he keeping a piano in tune surrounded by sea air?  Elliott are you making blood sacrifices to accomplish this?)

Harvey--I could not in good conscience date my bff’s dad.*  Also we might be a little TOO much alike, and would fight over who gets the last pickle.  Oh and I know the 10-heart scene in canon is sweet but if I was put in a hot air balloon I’d be sitting down in it trying not to scream, so I would ruin the moment.

Shane--Was mean to me at first.  Buddy, please buy a new hoodie and eat something that isn’t pizza and pepper poppers.  Will not talk to me at work even though we are dating.  Absolute disaster man.

but also!

Why I Love the Stardew Bachelors

Sam--Adorable.  Loves his family.   10/10 big brother.  Is a prankster and that’s fun.  A musician, and practices regularly.  Has a job but also hobbies.  Took my music suggestion to heart and thanked me for it.  Actually acts happy to see me and was one of the friendliest people to me from the start.  Honestly I think he is a very good kid and I want to be his non-creepy grownup friend and support his band and skateboarding.

Sebastian--Purple.  Smart and knows how to do a computer, so he could help me with the technology if I needed it.  Loves wildlife such as frogs.  Shared his umbrella.  Once you get him talking I imagine he has all kinds of opinions and deep thoughts about interesting topics.  I wanna be in his D&D squad.

Alex--Gets friendlier, and reveals that he wants to improve himself and broaden his horizons beyond just sports.  Athletic and dedicated to his personal goals in that realm.  Loves and takes care of his grandparents (who are my best friends).  Loves his dog.  I would like him to come work on my farm and lift things for me sometimes, and I will read cool books out loud to him.

Elliott--Writer and pianist!!  I do enjoy the Aesthetique and he keeps himself clean even if he doesn’t clean his home.  Can make everyday moments dramatic and fun.  Is gracious when I hand him clams I find on the ground right outside his house.   Dedicated his book to me just because I suggested what genre to write.  I want to go to a Renaissance Faire with this man.

Harvey--We really are very alike so we’d get along.  Has an unusual niche hobby I know nothing about.  Has a professional job and I respect that.  Cares about the health of his neighbors, and refers out when he knows he doesn’t have the expert knowledge to help someone.  Green!  Respects the power of the sun and will always remind about the sunscreen.  Goes to milf practice.  Is shy and awkward and I want us to infodump at each other about our interests.  

Shane--Was mean to me at first (and that’s my Type for fictional men).  Family oriented and tries his best for Jas.  Invented a new breed of chicken.  We both have Brain Bullshit.  ‘Pizza festival at the saloon’ yes please and also please steal me more pizza and stuff it in my mailbox like a dork.  We both hate working for Joja.  The snark.  Video games.  Spicy food and alcohol as a (now) Sometimes Food.  Took me to a gridball game to share one of his interests with me (sports game tickets can be expensive, too).  In general I vibe with this guy and that’s why I’m going to marry him and also destroy the Joja Mart to liberate his ass from hell.  Absolute disaster man (affectionate).

And there you have it!