#i love him but i also fking hate him and he should have his senses smacked back into him

[lehnsharks]

All these character and shipwars going on, meanwhile I am here shipping the fuck out of a ship where one half has literally been replaced by an impostor. His dead wife is most likely booing him from heaven, and his daughter will leave him one day, which is also very likely.

And no, I will not be stopped.

[gautierprotectionsquad]

Saint and the Sinner by Sam Burns review (contains spoilers)

Book 4 of the Wilde Love series.

I don’t know why i call these reviews. they’re more like reactions. I end up spending a large part of this post angry ranting about Brendan Quinn.

I thought this book might take place around the same time as book 2. At least chapter 1 is a scene that happened in book 2 in Owen’s pov. Also, great chapter title. “Owen Gets a Prologue, Sort Of.” I never mention them but the chapter titles for these books are pretty good. Not so much for book 3 bc book 3 was sad.

I headcanonned Owen as demiromantic and Mickey as demisexual before reading this book. I don’t really headcannon them as that anymore.

I’m glad there’s a barista showing concern for him. I love how this series gives it’s extras so much life within the story. They aren’t just bystanders, they’re people.

Oh wow. Mickey kissed him. Within the first chapter. How long has mickey been harboring those feelings? I do not mind a sex scene in chapter 1. Such a good sex scene.

“I have feelings.” He was terrified for a moment that Owen was saying he had feelings for him, and that would be the end of him. “And I show them all the time. Is that a problem?” Dude are you fking stupid? Owen’s had feelings for you since forever. You knows he’s been into you since he was 13.

wAIT. Mickey just assumed Key knew he was bi? OWEN had to be the one to tell him his brother had no clue? I honestly don’t know who’s stupider, mickey or key. When we first met mickey, liam said he was straight too. Are all his friends just assuming he’s straight bc he was dating Amy or is he just living life as he is but never explicitly saying he’s bi and just assuming his friends would figure it out? Like a part of me thinks he just doesn’t tell his friends stuff.

Also, damn owen. He definitely loves knowing he has that kinda power over mickey’s dick now.

I’m a bit worried that mickey is the guy brendan quinn has in mind as his replacement. Damn just confirmed right after i typed that. fuuuuck.

“You will be okay, O. No matter what, I’ll make sure you’re okay.”

So this is the first book where the conflicts do get in the way of the relationship. Both are dealing with an internalized and some external conflict (mostly mickey) at the prospect of actually being together and Mickey wants to back out. I mean, technically Jake also had the internal conflict of his grief and sexuality preventing him from asking Brian out but that’s not the same. Mickey and Owen have already slept together, but emotional feelings haven’t really been talked about and i don’t think either of them are going to talk about it honestly bc owen doesn’t want to scare mick away and mick doesn’t think he deserves nice things. Book 1 and 2, the lovers decide they like each other and that they want to keep them fairly quickly. Nothing gets in their way or convinces them they should “let them go” or whatever despite things trying to get in their way like an ex or the moral dilemma of dating someone while undercover. Mick, on the other hand, is trying to push Owen away. While trying not to be a dick.

So many romance novel protagonists, when trying to push their loved one away, DO try and succeed in being a dick.

“It had been the most amazing kiss, and the worst thing that had ever happened to Owen. After it, he’d been sure of two things. The first was that Mickey had feelings for him too. The second was that Mickey never intended to kiss him again.” Just like what I said. This type of angst wasn’t in the previous books. It’s like book 1 and 2 were almost identical and then Sam Burns decided to spice it up a bit.

“Or the fact that I hate writing research papers, even though I like doing research.” BITCH FUCKING SAME!

THE ANGST. Dammit Brenden Quinn. Why’d you have to say “you’re the boss.” In front of your son! “Mickey was pretty sure his leg wasn’t what was in danger of getting broken in this mess.” AAAHHH. BRENDEN FUCK YOU. he did it on purpose! HE KNEW. Asshole.

Maybe he just noticed Mick staring longingly, not that Owen loved him back or that they’ve kissed/slept together? He’s still a major asshole, crushing the heart of a guy who is family to him.

What’s the point of being supportive of them being gay if you hate every guy they choose for themselves and are the reason behind almost every breakup?

Mick’s chosen to talk to keegan about his problems. Good but also. God he’s so bad at-Couldn’t have softened the blow a little? Jesus. Key already knew he’s supposed to be the new boss and key’s the best person to talk to about that but the Owen situation. Thank you keegan for giving me a satisfying hilarious response. And telling him what he needed to hear. Love that Keegan is basically like “WOW good for Owen!”

So keegan’s vote is 1) you don’t want to be the boss anyway (so i guess he’s telling him to tell Brendan no?) 2) totally cool with you dating my brother. He’s an adult and can make his own choices. Don’t break it off bc you feel like he deserves better or whatever other stupid exuses you have. I love Keegan.

“For a fraction of a second, there was something that resembled real sadness in the old man’s eyes, but it disappeared almost as soon as he saw it.” So you feel bad now?

“Owen frowned. He wasn’t sure why, but he wanted to get a rise out of her. He wanted her to be angry. It didn’t make sense. Did he want her to be angry with him, or Mickey? “I slept with him.” God, Owen and Mick are so alike.

So Litty’s saying that Mick’s not like his father’s other thugs so Owen shouldn’t be treating him like one? That he shouldn’t be mad at him for working for his father. I think he’s allowed to be a little mad though bc Mick hates it. He’s only doing it bc he feels like he has to, that he has no choice. But i guess Owen has to learn to be ok with the idea that he might be the boss and choose to not care, to love him anyway. The way Joe doesn’t care that Keegan used to be a gangster or that he loves his dad despite the crime. The way Alex chose to love Liam even if he was in the mafia even though he didn’t really have to go through that moral dilemma bc Liam was actually a cop.

“Owen had always thought Mickey was working for his father because he didn’t think he had another choice. Surely, if he was going to be the man in charge, he had to know that he had all the choice. He did. Right?”

Is he going to invite Mick to hawaii with him?

They are both so fucking insecure jesus christ. Especially Mick which is what’s causing all this mess.

Hey mickey? Maybe don’t kiss a boy after you tried to break off any kind of relationship you could have had with him? Mickey should be more considerate of Owen’s emotions. He knows Owen has loved him since he was a teenager and he keeps breaking this poor kid’s heart because he keeps convincing himself he’s not good enough for him while still being too tempted to completely pull away.  “You can’t jerk me around like this. Make up your mind, dammit.” YEAH funicking tell him!

“I like people who aren’t afraid of me. Who tell me when I’m being a jackass.”

“You’re being a jackass.”

HAHA! Mickey actually says what he wants!

Ah shit they’re interrupted by the boss. Owen’s going to be so fucking mad when he finds out his dad has been encouraging Mick’s self loathing. Fucker.

Owen’s turn to talk to keegan.

So basically this book’s main conflict is Mick and Brendan’s self hatred. Hey Dudes! GET OVER YOURSELVES!

“And as long as Mickey was around their father every single day, there wasn’t a damn thing Owen could do to shake that hold, he was sure. The old man would call, Mickey would answer, and any progress Owen made would be lost.” So Owen is going to take him to hawaii? Oh. it’s more evil than that. He’s not inviting him. He’s going to trick him into thinking he’s in danger. And Keegan’s going to help.

So despite trying to pull them apart from each other, he can see his son wants mick still. That makes him more of an ass.  LET your children BE HAPPY goddammit. No you don’t know what’s best for them. Stop trying to ruin shit for them.

“Going to take him to Europe and lose his passport so he can’t come back to work?” Owen scowled. That was actually kind of clever. He wondered if it would have worked.” pfft.

No, i’m still mad at his dad though. He knew how his son felt about Mick and about the business and encouraged Mick to go deeper into it and acts like it’s ineffable just bc he thinks Mick and him are alike. You told Mick with your own words that you think Owen deserves better. You shut Mick down before he could even ask to date your son. Don’t you think you’re taking part in making him feel unworthy, in making him feel like he can’t be reformed? You knew your son was never going to want anyone else and you still pushed them apart bc you thought you knew better. It’s understandable for Owen to not hate him but I’m going to hate him.

So even though his dad kind of approved of Owen trying to take Mick away and win him over, they’re still going with their plan to trick Mick instead of simply having his dad not force Mick to his side and actually start telling him nice things and start -i don’t know- Stop trying to keep his son away from what he wants. What’s with the talk of him possibly never going to be able to come back home?

Pfft. so literally all he had to do was leave at an odd time and that was enough to freak Mick out? HAHAHAHAHA. I mean everything else is pretty standard and Keegan actually tried to ease his worry by telling him he was going on vacation (which he is). I thought the plan was keegan was going to call pretending to be worried about Owen on his trip, maybe lie and say some russians were there. Nope. What he did was completely normal, he just left at an odd time and took all his favorite stuff on his trip with him (which is...normal?). The only thing off is that he didn’t tell anyone about it. (except he did tell keegan. keegan just didn’t mention that.) Mickey’s such a mother hen for owen. He should have been hired as Owen’s bodyguard. Lord knew, he needed one in school. He did get bullied.

Now i’m thinking of an au where Mick was hired as owen’s bodyguard instead of hired to do errands.

“...Brendan...was watching him with something like curiosity.” so brendon is finally seeing it? The love and care and worry Mick has for his son?

For the first time in his life, Mickey’s patience with Brendan Quinn ran out. “With all due respect, sir, don’t you think Owen is more important than any of that?”

“I didn’t say he wasn’t,” Brendan countered. “Are you telling me that he is to you? More important than your job? Your future?”

Brendan’s testing him. He wants him to put his son before his work. He’s being difficult on purpose. I can understand the “being difficult and disapproving to force their child’s lover to have to prove themselves worthy of their kid” trope but this is different. Brendon’s known Mick for most of his life and encouraged him to go into a path that he knew would taint him when he could have gotten him legitimate work. I feel like it’s unfair. Yeah, Mick needed to learn to tell the old man to fuck off and choose Owen above Brendan but i feel like Brendan was playing unfair.

The classic run to the airport because you realized you’re in love and you’re scared you’re never going to see them again.

I feel like i’m missing the point/not meeting the book where it’s at. The book is leading me somewhere but I’m not following it. I’ve felt it since that “heart to heart” between Owen and his dad. When his dad finally conceded a bit and encouraged Owen to go after what he wants. I’m still holding it against Brendan bc I feel like this conflict is all his fault. I blame Brendan for breaking his son’s heart by giving the empire to someone he knew his son was in love with, knowing how much his son hated the business. But the story is treating it like the conflict is mostly Mick’s fault, which, some of it is, but Mick might not feel as undeserving if it wasn’t for Brendan. If Brendan weren’t so fucking difficult to deal with, there wouldn’t be so much less conflict.

I wish Owen and Mick got to communicate with each other more. I don’t know how close this book is to ending but I’m going to leave this book disappointed if it ends soon bc these idiots spent most of it away from each other and didn’t talk about what they wanted enough. I mean, they had sex, then Mick pushed him away, then owen found out mick was the new boss, then owen avoided him for a while, then mick kissed him and told him what he wanted but owen couldn’t say anything back bc brendan called, then owen went on his trip and mick is following bc he loves him. I didn’t really get to see them spend time with each other that much.

You don’t give something to a poor kid who has never asked for anything in his life and then ask him for 10x more and expect him to not say yes to everything and only agree to what he wants too. Brendan talks about mick’s criminality like it’s who he is and not something brendan forced him to do. Mick never felt like he had a choice in the matter. Brendan built his empire from the ground up bc he wanted it. MICK DOESN’T WANT THIS. He is NOT Brendan! he feels sick to his stomach doing this work and only says yes to you cause you never let him know he could say no. i wanted brendan to feel guilty. Instead he’s probably going to die and the book is going to treat it like it’s all sad and i’m going to be PISSED. Bc you dont get to mold a kid into a criminal than hold that against him when he finally says he WANTS something.

The book is not looking at the full picture it painted. It’s not judging brendan for the choices he’s made. It’s not examining them. It’s not blaming him. It’s a dick move to ask so much from mick and then shut him down before he could even ask to date your son when he has never asked you for anything. And then hold stuff  YOU MADE HIM DO against his character. WTF. he only ever asked for something once and you told him to his face that he didn’t deserve it.

Brendan better not die before Mick gets to say to his face that he never wanted any of this. That he only ever worked for him bc he felt like he owed him. That the only thing mick and brendan have in common is a love for family and loyalty and a love for Owen and Keegan.

It’s kind of frustrating the way Owen and Mick talk about Mick continuing to work for Brendan. He doesn’t want to keep working the business bc he actually enjoys it; He just doesn’t think he’s qualified to do anything else. He never got a chance to figure out what he wants to do with his life. He doesn’t like his job. Owen has to keep saying that he’s fine with Mick still working for his dad if he wants-owen isn’t going to force him to quit-but it’s just so frustrating bc this is with the assumption that Mick wants that.

Okay. i just needed to let out my anger. Let’s pretend brendan doesn’t exist or matter or has ever had any affect on the decisions made by mick.

“This was the trip Mickey had talked about taking for years, since he was a kid. And Owen was taking him—had tricked him into it” this is actually really sweet.

God he should have pulled the prank on him pretending he forgot the condoms. I could just imagine the reaction; it would have been so funny!

Since they’ve already been in love with each other before the book started the last words aren’t going to be their first i love you’s in the story like the previous books.

“We could be married. If you wanted.”  They both froze.  “Mickey?” Owen whispered. “Did you just half-assed ask me to marry you in a swimsuit shop?”  “May-be?”

I can’t believe he said marry me before he said i love you.

“Fuck, O, I love you so much.” 7 pages after.

They get to spend a lot of time together thanks to this trip. It’s very cute.

He DOESN’T. He’s just a pessimistic ass who doesn’t say out loud how much he hates it and doesn’t think himself capable of doing anything else. The book’s solution is to have Mick working for Brendan’s legitimate construction company but I don’t think that’s a real answer? The REAL answer would be to give Mick a chance to figure out what he’s passionate about; to finally accept that he’s worthy of getting the things he wants and to not think so lowly of himself. He’s not a poor kid desperate for money and food anymore and hasn’t been for a long time. Plus Keegan and Owen would totally be ok with supporting him financially while he gets the qualifications to do what he wants. He needs to learn that he can ask for and accept help without having to pay anyone back. He’s allowed to want things.

It just feels weird that book 1 was about Alex, who quit law school and got disowned so that he could crash on his friend’s couch with nothing but the clothes on his back and his philosophy textbooks bc he reached for what he was actually passionate about and here we are, the last book in the series, and the topic of Mick trying to find something he’s passionate about isn’t even discussed or explored at all. This book’s conflict is more than just Mick wanting to be with Owen but feeling like he owes Brendan and needs to do what Brendan wants. Wanting to be with Owen but working as a criminal. It’s about Mick not being able to accept any act of kindness without feeling like he has to pay them back tenfold. It’s about him feeling like he’s not allowed to want for anything because he’s already been given more than he thinks he deserves.

yeah he’s accepting a ceo position for brendan’s construction company but does he want that? Or does he just want to work a legal job and he would

have accepted it no matter what it was (except working at Wilde’s bc that would be too easy). Is he accepting it without argument bc he feels like he can ask for this or bc Brendan’s just handing it to him and it’s no different than continuing to say yes to whatever Brendan wants-it’s just now he’s saying no to illegal stuff.

“Plus, if he’s halfway out, it’s not crushing his soul the same way, right?” It’s this shit right here! Mick never says he doesn’t want to work for Brendan bc it’s crushing his soul, because he hates killing, because he doesn’t WANT to, out loud. He says it’s because he doesn’t want to hurt Owen. “I don’t want Owen to get a visit saying I’m not coming home. I don’t want him to see my face all over the news if I get busted and put away. I want him to be happy.” That’s what he says when he’s asked why he wants to quit the business. And it’s really frustrating??? At least Brendan finally acknowledged that Mick and he are not the same, that Brendan would kill his best friend to reach a goal but Mick wouldn’t kill his. Except Mick would rather not kill anyone if he can avoid it.

Anyway we’re close to the end. We’ve got a wedding scene.

“She snorted and rolled her eyes in disgust.“Yeah, but they thought you were straight. So now they just think everybody’s bisexual, especially if they want it to be true.” gross.

“Poor thing was so embarrassed when he started leering at your brother that he apologized to me.” dude

“Holy hell,” Keegan whispered. “You’re really in love with my brother.”\Mickey peered up at him. Was he kidding? In fact, Keegan

looked completely sincere. “Um, duh? I better love him. We’re getting married in, like, five minutes.” asdfghjklkjhgfds

We get a domestic shopping scene and christmas. Mick is happy with the office job he has. And Owen’s still trying to figure out what to do with his degree since no fbi agency would accept him bc of his crime family. Based no that domestic shopping scene and “He didn’t even know who’d done the decorating in the Quinn house. Wilkes, probably. Whoever it was, they’d done a magnificent job.” this, Owen might become an interior decorator? With a criminal justice degree.

Mick to key about jon “You’re dating Mister Rogers.”

“Heh. Mickey’s husband.” same energy as “heh. Wife” - vespa ilkay

“Jon was unreasonably pleased with the personalized monogrammed handkerchiefs that Mickey bought him, and he even had a smile for Brendan when the man told him that his gift was that he hadn’t bought the fed “a damned thing.”

“Owen gave Keegan a copy of the Kama Sutra as a joke, and was horrified when Keegan gave him a satisfied smile, handed it back to him, and told him he already had one.” hold on. “The Kama Sutra is an ancient Indian Sanskrit text on sexuality, eroticism and emotional fulfillment in life. Attributed to Vātsyāyana, the Kama Sutra is neither exclusively nor predominantly a sex manual on sex positions, but written as a guide to the art of living well, the nature of love, finding a life partner, maintaining one's love life, and other aspects pertaining to pleasure-oriented faculties of human life” ok.

Mick never killed jimmy. He mentioned at the beginning of the book that he lied to the old man a lot. This is what he meant. Brendan would order someone dead and he’d find a way to not do that while still making it look like he did what the boss wanted.

Brendan died not from sickness but he got shot on the job. Died trying to do the right thing. Penny, the asshole who kidnapped Alex in the first book, is out of jail and is the new boss of the mafia crime business.

The Quinn family house gets turned into “The Brendan Quinn Shelter for Homeless LGBT Teens.” COOL!

Last words are I love you.

THE END

[shigarakiposts]

league of villains playlist head cannons

Hey so this is my first love hc post on Tumblr, so if you like it please share and follow for more content. I am currently accepting requests for hc so feel free to drop a request. just remember all nsfw headcanons must be 18+!!!!!!

Shigaraki Tomura- first of all let me begin by saying Shigaraki is the type of guy that will hear a certain song he likes (that others think is not all that good,) and play it on repeat in secret while he broods and sips his ginger ale. This man does not really give a shit about music, and its not his fault. Tomura is just preoccupied with other things than music and the feelings that come with hearing a certain song that “strikes chords” in a heart. He may play music that is from his favorite video games, and maybe some movie soundtracks. He is more invested in listening to music without words because he just feels like all the emotion that stems from lyrics and people talking about their feelings and problems just irritates him and eventually turns music off because he just can't stand listening to the people talk about their lives, he couldn't be bothered with that. he just wants to listen to music so he can have some background noise while he thinks. he just is new to forming relationships, so music particularly love ballads don't register the way they would for others, he is also quite secretive about his music playlists, and does not like to share his feelings about certain songs to others. low-key will get hung up on one particular song for a few weeks and listen to it nonstop while in-between plf meetings, and middle of the night when he can't sleep. absolutely will not wear earbuds, and refuses to accept that they should even exist. he will only wear over the headphones, or bluetooth. fav music style: classical/instrumental 

Dabi- this m-therfucker Dabi is going to open his Spotify app in and play it in the middle of the night on blast (or at a plf meeting)  just in spite of the fact that people around him hate the song while he scrolls on his phone, lounging with a smug grin “I don't give a fuck if people like this, just the fact that they hate it drives me to play it every single time.” he is thinking this as he peeks over at Tomura, who is glaring at him from across the table. Dabi is listening to music that has a lot of self expression, and bass driven. He likes to listen to music that has long drawn out introductions, and sets the mood for the song. It allows him to have a simple distraction, and while Tomura listens to music to have background noise, Dabi likes to listen to the music for the sense of relief he gets when he lights up a smoke, and flips through his playlist, and can focus on the song and what someone else is feeling and he can relate to. it gives Dabi a sense of safety to know that he can forget about his own life and problems for a while and listen to someone else without the burden that comes with forming relationships in real life. Dabi finds some humor in the metalhead culture, and appreciates the piercings and tattoos people have that attend concerts. fav music style: he is attracted to the rock music sound, but also pop punk. 

Himiko Toga- so growing up in school, some of the girls that Toga went to school with had the iPods, and would share music together maybe during meal times, or walking home together. She did not have many friends to share devices with or talk to about music, so she awkwardly discovered her love of music as a way of trying to get along with other kids she went to school with. she is very good at sneaking, so naturally she studied her classmates social circles for a few days, and gathered some information (well you know..) on the music they enjoyed together, and all the concerts that they hoped to go to.. and of course their favorite crushes on all the stars. when she went home she would use youtube as a way to watch videos with the songs for free and also it allowed her to discover more music and eventually discovered the electronic dance music scene where she was inspired by all the people who gathered for the concerts and the costumes they all wore. Toga was impressed with the community of people in the edm scene because they called each other family, and this scene was inclusive of all people, unlike the one at her school which hyper focused music from the top charts, and was considered popular. due to Togas sometimes bashful nature, she finds comfort in the dance music as a counterpart, and allows her to be out of her comfort zone. Toga also finds that she is a part of a “family” as a raver, and enjoys the carefree fun that follows. she will also talk about her favorite groups and new concert coming to town with you for at least an hour, and before she is tempted to knife you, she is going to ask you first “want to come with me next time??” fav music: edm / house / dance 

Mr.Compress- okay so our man here is not only classically trained as a musician, he is ALSO a fking magician.....amazing! we love this guy. Compress has a relationship with music that far surpasses the others around him have with their simple playlists. this man has MULTIPLE playlists and he organizes them depending on their emotions and titles them appropriately. Compress has the widest variety in music as far as knowledge goes compared to his younger counterparts. He is also the only one in the league that has interpersonal relationships and is able to match his comrades with their own playlists and music he choses for them. He will play classical music for Shigaraki when they work on a mission together, or when they have time together because he knows it suits him, and he respects him for that. he will chuckle and wave his hand around when Dabi is blasting Slipknot in the middle of the plf meeting because he is proud he showed Dabi that song! he is always the one who offers to take Toga and Twice to their raves, and is starting to listen to hiphop now that he has worked with some people with the PLF. more often. Compress uses music as a way to communicate his appreciation to others. he is a true gentleman...we love him for that. fav music style: the one he enjoys with others 

Spinner- shuichi boi is so fking shy n soft that if you tried to get him to open up about what he likes, he will probably implode from terror of having to open up to someone. he is very similar to tomura in that aspect, he is private minded, and like to keep his playlist to himself. that being said apparently the one time toga swiped his phone and did catch a glimpse of his playlist, he had a strikingly similar taste in music to Shigaraki. he had the complete dark souls playlist downloaded offline from Spotify so he could listen to it on the go at all times like on missions where signal may be interrupted. He had a variety of video game soundtracks on his playlist, and occasionally a Muse song in-between to separate all the Hans Zimmer. If you want to sneak a peak at Spinners playlist, you may want to do it quickly, your best bet is to ask when you two are alone otherwise he will likely never show you in fear of being ridiculed by Dabi. Spinner will use his playlist as a way to push out some kind of emotion he is feeling that day. Spinner will regularly update his playlists, and enjoys searching for more music to add constantly. He is pretty quiet when he listen to his music, and prefers to listen to it during the afternoon, when he feels his mood shift the heaviest. fav music style: soundtrack 

Twice- okay well Jin is hands down the biggest Gorillaz fan you CANNOT convince me otherwise on this. He has the Plastic Beach album on repeat. Due to the Gorillaz eccentric style and sound, Jin is absolutely in awe of how great he begins to feel when the beat starts, and he can focus on the ever changing tempo, and sounds that are happening. he does not listen to music very much, and due to his quirk effecting him, he is usually preoccupied with other thoughts, and is not interested in learning new songs, or crafting playlists for anything in particular like compress does. Jin is listening to albums that he stumbles upon at random, or by recommendation. that is how he discovered Gorillaz, and ironically his fight with Skeptic only made that even more awkward after Jin found out his company was called feel good inc... you can imagine how upset he truly was inside. “what a douche” is what jin is thinking when he discovers this. on a good day for jin, he will sit back and Toga will set him up with some songs she wants him to listen to with a comfortable pair of “cat” earphones. he enjoys just the act of listening to music itself, and being alive. it makes him feel good, and he uses music as a way to ground himself to others. 

[hippychick006]

4.21 - When the Levee Breaks

or the one where Dean needs to read “the idiots guide to detoxing your little brother of demon blood” Also the one where Castiel is revealed to be a lying skank who tricks Dean and lets Sam out of the panic room.

This episode is heartbreaking from start to finish.  I get why people have trouble re-watching it, because it is painful seeing the brothers as broken as they are and at such odds with one another.   It’s an amazing episode though and everyone involved knocks it out of the park.   

This post is very long, but since the episode frequently gets misinterpreted, I want to make sure all the important dialogue is in here.   It’s a critical episode because it shows heaven’s betrayal (hell’s betrayal is coming up in the next episode).  I personally wish both had been shown in the same episode and I wish that Kripke hadn’t went back on the angel betrayal with Castiel growing a pair at the last minute.  It completely unbalances the season.  Anyway, I’m going to stow the bitterness for that episode and concentrate only on this one. 

We open on the panic room.  Sam’s inside - and would it have been too much to give him a television or an xbox (other gaming stations are available).  Dean opens the window in the door and they have a conversation, the best part of which is:

Sam: Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied to you. Just open the door. Dean: You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault. It's not your fault that you lied to me over and over again. I get it now. You couldn't help it. Sam: I'm not some junkie! Dean: Really? I guess I've just imagined how strung out you've been lately. Sam: You're actually trying to twist this into some kind of ridiculous drug intervention?

Upshot of the conversation is that Dean thinks Sam is weak, desperate and pathetic and he’s earned himself a benchwarmer seat to the apocalypse.

Also, this important line, for people that conveniently forget that Dean was also wanting to kill Lilith (and therefore unknowingly break the first seal):  “Oh, Lilith's gonna die. Bobby and I will kill her. But not with you.”

Dean closes the door and returns upstairs, we hear Sam screaming to be let out.

Sam’s not doing well, he’s strung out and having hallucinations (and kudos on Jared for this entire episode).  First hallucination is Alastair who is delighted to see Sam again and wonders how they’ll pass the time.  Cue Sam strapped onto a torture bed.  Sadly, since it’s Sam’s hallucination and not really Alastair, Sam gets to keep his clothes on (which Ruby didn’t in a previous episode).    

Torture scene is difficult to watch, so thankfully we switch to Dean and Bobby, in Bobby’s study, where Sam’s screams aren’t quite so loud.  Dean and Bobby are having whisky which is... nice for them I guess.  Dean is listening to Sam’s screams and asks Bobby how long this is going to go on.

Bobby:  Here, let me look it up in my demon-detox manual. Oh wait. No one ever wrote one. No telling how long it'll take. Hell, or if Sam will even live through it.

Heh.  The phone goes at that point, Bobby answers with: “Hello. ...Suck dirt and die, Rufus. You call me again, I'll kill you.” 

I would watch a whole season of just Bobby and Rufus, hunting back in the seventies.  That would be fun. Anyway, when Rufus calls back, it appears that Rufus “knows”.  Not sure what it is that he knows right now. 

Back to Sam in the panic room and Sam discovers he’s no longer bound and being tortured.  Alastair has disappeared, but wee!Sam is there and he’s pissed that they didn’t get to be normal.

Sam: I'm sorry. I am. But life doesn't turn out the way you thought when you were fourteen years old. We were never gonna be normal. We were never gonna get away. Grow up. Wee!Sam: Maybe you're right. Maybe there's no escape. After all, how can you run from what's inside you?  [Wee!Sam’s eyes turn yellow].  

I love Jared and Colin’s interaction here.  We’ve never seen them interact together on screen so it’s great that we got this scene between them.

Back to Bobby and Dean.  Rufus was calling about the seals; 3 have broken in a single day.  Bobby questions “ is now really the right time to be having this little domestic drama of ours?”

Dean: So what? Sacrifice Sam's life, his soul, for the greater good? Is that what you're saying? Times are bad, so let's use Sam as a nuclear warhead? Bobby: Look, I know you hate me for suggesting it. I hate me for suggesting it. I love that boy like a son. All I'm saying is maybe he's here right now instead of on the battlefield because we love him too much.

Back to the panic room and Sam’s getting worse. He hallucinates his mom this time. She tells him he looks awful.  This is the most important hallucination so far, because hallucination!mary tells Sam exactly what he wants to hear.  It’s the one that justifies to Sam what he’s doing (obviously this is all in Sam’s head).    As an aside, I had to look up Samantha’s eye colour because I thought they were greenish and they are, a very light colour, but in this entire scene they were dark, almost black.

Sam tells Mary to go ahead and tell him she’s disappointed, “You never thought I'd turn out this way. I'm a piss-poor excuse for a son. Your heart is broken. Am I close?” 

Mary says no, that Sam’s doing the right thing, and that she’s proud of him.  That Dean doesn’t understand the hard choices or what needs to be done to get the job done.   Hallucination!Mary confirms Sam’s suspicions that what’s inside him is evil and Sam questions if Dean’s right, is it stronger than Sam.

Hallucination!Mary: Dean can never know how strong you are, because Dean is weak. Look at what he's done to you. Locking you in here? He's terrified. He's in over his head. You have to go on without him. You have what it takes. You have to kill Lilith.

Sam: Even if it kills me. Mary: Make my death mean something. I'm counting on you, Sam. Don't let anyone or anything get in your way. Not even Dean. 

Dean’s outside in the scrap yard.  It appears he’s been screaming for the angels for the last few hours.  Castiel finally turns up and he’s pissy.  Yet again, their entire conversation is laser focused on Sam - so much for Destiel. All they ever talk about is the “eye fking”.  They aren’t ever actually listening to their conversation at all.  As an experiment, replace Misha in all of these scenes with Zachariah and then question whether Destiel exists on screen.  The answer is a resounding no.  It exists in fantasy, not because of their dialogue or interactions or that it makes sense to the story, but because  2 unrelated hot guys are on screen at the same time (though I strongly dispute one of them is hot imo, even back then).

Anyway, Dean asks Castiel to tell him what he was going to tell him before he was yanked back up to heaven.  Castiel answers it was nothing of import.

Dean:  You got ass-reamed in heaven but it was not of import? Castiel: Dean, I can't. I'm sorry. Get to the reason you really called me. It's about Sam, right?  [bolding this for the hellers benefit because it is always about Sam].

Dean asks if Sam can do it, can he kill Lilith.  Castiel answers possibly, but that Sam would have to take certain steps, that; “Consuming the amount of blood it would take to kill Lilith would change your brother forever. Most likely, he would become the next creature that you would feel compelled to kill. There's no reason this would have to come to pass, Dean. We believe it's you, Dean, not your brother. The only question for us is whether you're willing to accept it. Stand up and accept your role. You are the one who will stop it.” 

Dean: If I do this, Sammy doesn't have to? Castiel: If it gives you comfort to see it that way. Dean: God, you're a dick these days. 

If I can interject at this point; he’s always been a dick, Dean.  He’s just the least dickish of all the angels we’ve met so far.

Dean walks away and sighs: Fine, I'm in.

I want to be very clear here.  Dean thinks he’s agreeing to stop Lilith so that Sam doesn’t have to.  He thinks he’s agreeing to stop the apocalypse.  This is an outright lie on Castiel’s part.  He already knows at this point that the plan is for Sam to break the final seal to start the apocalypse and that Dean’s only role is as Michael’s vessel to fight Lucifer once he’s free.   This betrayal is so much more than just letting Sam out of the panic room. why do people gloss over this?  Tell me again why I should like Castiel?   This is why the narrative that started at the end of season 11 (that Cass is best friend, brother even) pisses me off. 

Dean has to swear he gives himself wholly over to the service of god and the angels.  He asks what’s next?   Castiel answers to wait and they’ll call when it’s time.  This scene takes ages to fade away from and Cass and Dean are both just standing there awkwardly for several seconds.   Bad editing.

Believe it or not, we are only just a third of the way through this episode.  Sorry, but blame decent writing!

Back to the panic room, and I was wrong earlier, Sam has magazines for entertainment, including “Weekly woodsman”.  He’s sitting on the floor and he’s jittery.  The veins on his hands turn black and he gets up to look in the mirror, the veins in his face turn black too.  He screams for help.

Cut to Dean who ignores the screams.  

Bobby: Correct me if I'm wrong, but you willingly signed up to be the angels' bitch? 

Note it’s plural, angels not angel, so no, this line is not ship pandering and Bobby is correct, because that’s exactly what Dean’s done.

Dean glares at Bobby and Bobby amends, “'m sorry. You prefer 'sucker'? After everything you said about them, now you trust them?”

Dean: Come on, give me a little credit, Bobby. I've never trusted them less. I mean, they come on like shady politicians from planet Vulcan. Bobby: Then why in the hell did you— Dean: Because what other option do I have? It's either trust the angels or let Sammy trust a demon?   

SEASON 4 IN A SINGLE LINE!  

Both suddenly realise that it’s went quiet and rush to the panic room.  They open the window in the door and see that Sam’s having a fit on the floor.

Dean: What if he's faking? Bobby: You really think he would? Dean: I think he'd do anything.

Sam suddenly starts being thrown around the walls.

Bobby: That ain’t faking.

No shit Sherlock.  They rush in to help.

Sam wakes up strapped down to the bed and this episode isn’t getting any less traumatic to watch, even for a hurt!Sam fan.  He can sit up at least and we see Dean is in the room.  This is a great scene between Jared and Jensen.  They have an argument about why Sam did this to himself, leading to;

Dean: Revenge for what? For sending me to hell? Did you happen to notice I'm back? Alive and kicking. So what's the point? Sam: Point? How about 'stop the damn apocalypse'?

We see that Sam is talking to himself so this is Hallucination!Dean.

Hallucination!Dean: My gig. Not yours. The angels said so, remember? God picked me, man. So you got any other fantastic excuses? Hmm?

Back with Bobby and the real Dean and Bobby is still having doubts about what they are doing.  He thinks the demon blood isn’t killing Sam, they are.

Bobby: I'm sorry. I can't bite my tongue any longer. We're killing him. Keeping him locked up down there. This cold-turkey thing isn't working. If—if he doesn't get what he needs, soon, Sam's not gonna last much longer. Dean: No. I'm not giving him demon blood. I won't do it. Bobby: And if he dies? Dean: Then at least he dies human!

I down a third of the whisky bottle as we go back to hallucination!Dean and Sam.  He tells Sam he knows why he drinks the demon blood. That Sam’s never felt normal his entire life.  “You were always a monster...”

Back to the real Dean with Bobby: “I would die for him in a second, but I won't let him do this to himself. I can't. I guess I found my line. I won't let my brother turn into a monster.”

Takes a deep breath before returning to Sam in the panic room. Hallucination!Dean’s still talking: “And I tried so hard to pretend that we were brothers. That you weren't one of the filthy things that we hunt. But we're not even the same species. You're nothing to me.”

Sam: Don't say that to me. Don't you say that to me.

Sam turns away and when he turns back, Dean has disappeared.  Sam falls asleep, exhausted.  We see the passage of time from the window above the bed as day turns to night.  Love these shots.

We stay on Sam as he wakes up.  The hand and foot cuffs are shown to open, as does the panic room door.  I think Sam still thinks he’s hallucinating at first, but realises it’s real and he escapes.  As he walks up the stairs, we see that skank angel in a trench coat formerly known as Castiel, close and lock the panic room door.

Bobby and Dean are asleep as Sam slips past them.

The skank angel in a trench coat formerly known as Castiel, is at the docks.  Anna appears and asks why he let Sam out when Dean was trying to stop him.  Castiel says he was following orders and says Anna shouldn’t have come.  Angels come and take Anna away.  Another betrayal.

This next scene is heartbreaking (and that’s in an entire episode of scenes that are heartbreaking).   Sam’s trying to steal a car and we hear a gun cocking (will that word get past the new censorship on here?  I doubt it).  It’s Bobby.  Jim and Jared just kill this scene.  Bobby tells Sam he’s going back to the panic room.   Sam says no and that Bobby won’t shoot him.  Bobby says not to test him, that they are trying to help Sam.

Sam walks forward until the gun touches his stomach, he raises it and holds it against his chest and says “Then shoot.”  Bobby doesn’t of course, and Sam grabs the gun and knocks him out.  We can see that it devastated him to have to do that.   He drives off.

SEND MORE WHISKY!

Dean and Bobby investigate the panic room, wondering how Sam got out.  They suspect demons, Ruby in particular.  Me screaming at the television right now: NO,  IT WAS THAT SKANK IN A TRENCH COAT FORMERLY KNOWN AS CASTIEL!  Dean hopes that Sam is with Ruby when he catches up to him, “'Cause killing her's the next big item on my to-do list.”

Bobby: I thought you were on call for angel duty. Dean: I am on call. In my car, on my way to murder the bitch.

As he leaves the room, Bobby says, “Sam don't wanna be found, which means he's gonna be damn near impossible to find.”  Oh Bobby, this is Dean we’re talking about. He knows his brother inside out - which is why I can’t understand his approach in this entire episode.

Sam’s in a very nice room (compared to their usual standards).  He’s jittery.  Ruby arrives, Sam asks if Ruby let him out.  Ruby says no.  Sam says he’s been trying to get her for weeks, Ruby says she’s been busy trying to find Lilith.

Ruby:  I'm sorry you're hurting. Really. I had no idea that Dean would do that to you. Sam: You and me both.

He confirms he knows Dean’s going to come after him, that Dean knows exactly which habits, aliases and motels he’d pick.  Which is why they are switching it up in the honeymoon suite in Sam’s attempt to shake him.

Ruby: It won't be easy. I mean, he knows you better than anyone. Sam: Not as well as he thinks.

Sam’s had enough talking and drinks Ruby’s blood.

Dean’s still at the scrap yard, I think he’s fixing baby, and I love mechanic!Dean scenes.  Bobby tells him the cops found his stolen car and 2 more have been reported where it was found:  One “nice and anonymous like Sam likes” and the other “White oh-five Escalade with custom rims. It's a neon sign.”  

Dean: You're right. He'd never take that. Which is exactly what he did. Bobby: You think? Dean: I know that kid...

Back to Sam and Ruby, and there’s a lot in this scene.  Ruby says they’re down to the final couple of seals and Ruby’s found out that the final seal can only be broken by Lucifer’s first - the first human soul he tempted and twisted; Lilith.  So Sam figures out if he can get to Lilith first and kill her, the apocalypse will be stopped.  Ruby says she’s closing in on a member of Lilith’s entourage; her personal chef. 

Sam: Chef? Seriously?  What does she eat?

Ruby: You don’t wanna know.

And it turns out that no we didn’t want to know. We really, really didn’t want to know, because Lilith eats babies.

Back at the motel, Ruby tells Sam that he’s going to need more blood than she can give him.  Sam sighs, and Ruby thinks it’s because Sam still has problems with the blood drinking.  That’s not what it is, Sam’s fine with the blood drinking, he’s just thinking about Dean (of course he is).

Sam: I just—I wish he'd trusted me, you know?

Ruby: Sorry. Sam: I just hope...you know, when all this is over...I hope we can fix things.

Dean’s driving and Bobby tells him the cops found the Escalade dumped in a ditch. The town near there is lighting up with demon signs, so Dean will head for there.  Bobby gives some sage advice:

Bobby: Us finding Sam? It's gotta be about getting him back, not pushing him away. Dean: Right. Bobby: I know you're mad, Dean. I understand. You got a right to be, but I'm just saying. Be good to him anyway. You gotta get through to him. Dean doesn’t respond and hangs up.

We see Sam leave the motel room.  We also see Dean waiting and he goes in when Sam leaves.   He tries to kill Ruby with the demon knife, but it appears Sam has forgotten something.  He stops Dean.  Dean says solid try on trying to ditch him.  Sam says he’s glad Dean’s here and wants to talk.

Dean: Soon as she's dead, we can talk all you want.

Sam tells Ruby to go.  Dean moves to stop her, and Sam moves to stop him.  I can’t with this next scene.    A very long scene that needs to be watched carefully.  Dean says Ruby is poison and that she’s been manipulating Sam.  Sam says he’s wrong.

Dean: Sam, you're lying to yourself. I just want you to be okay. You would do the same for me. You know you would. Sam: Just listen for a second. We got a lead on a demon close to Lilith. Come with us, Dean. We'll do this together. Dean: That sounds great. As long as it's you and me. Demon bitch is a deal breaker. You kiss her goodbye, we can go right now.

Sam says he can’t, that he needs her to help him kill Lilith.  “I know you can't wrap your head around it, but maybe one day you'll understand. I'm the only one who can do this, Dean.” Dean: No, you're not the one who's gonna do this. Sam: Right, that's right, I forgot. The angels think it's you. Dean: You don't think I can? Sam: No. You can't. You're not strong enough. Dean: And who the hell are you? Sam: I'm being practical here. I'm doing what needs to be done.

Dean: Yeah? You're not gonna do a single damn thing. Sam: Stop bossing me around, Dean. Look. My whole life, you take the wheel, you call the shots, and I trust you because you are my brother. Now I'm asking you, for once, trust me. Dean: No. You don't know what you're doing, Sam. Sam: Yes, I do. Dean: Then that's worse. Sam: Why? Look, I'm telling you— Dean: Because it's not something that you're doing, it's what you are! It means— Sam: What? No. Say it. [Sam has tears and mine are starting as I know what;s coming.]

Dean: It means you're a monster.

Sam turns away so he misses that a tear slips down Dean’s face. Sam turns back and punches Dean and the brother fight is on.  Sam’s hopped up on demon blood, so gets the upper hand.  Dean’s on the floor and Sam chokes him [I think this is finally the anger we’ve been told about all season but has only appeared in the last episode]. Just as it looks like Sam is going to kill Dean, he stops himself. 

Sam: You don't know me. You never did. And you never will.

Dean: You walk out that door, don't you ever come back.

The episode is finished and so is the whisky.  The anger management toy is in pieces and I need another picture of Zachariah for the dart board before the next episode.

I don’t know how anyone can watch this episode and think either of the brothers had the moral high ground.  They were both wrong. 

Dean chose to trust heaven rather than Sam and they betrayed him in this very episode (though obviously Dean doesn’t know that right now).   And in something that annoys me very much, he never learns the full extent of their betrayal - he never finds out about the panic room or the altered voicemail in the next episode.

Sam trusts Ruby.  She will betray him in the very next episode (though obviously neither Sam nor us know that right now).

They both chose to trust other people, who betray them both, instead of who they should have been trusting all along; each other.

Up next, Lucifer Rising.  I hate it.  So need caffeine before I attempt to watch, but I’ll try and get through it tonight to complete analysis of Season 4.

[passionpitobsession]

How are you not mad about this episode? there was so much wrong with it, how are you still on the showrunners side?

okay… now that it is a day and one meal later, I could finally address this question. First off, I was mad at A LOT of things in this episode, but from a creative perspective? I fking loved it! The effects are getting better and better as the episodes progress, and I know some people might not agree with me, but there has been a lot of character development ever since the beginning of season 2. The actors themselves are getting better as well, let’s not forget about that.

It is true there was so much wrong going on with this episode, I agree with that! With that being said I’ll just go over it character by character:

Valentine: homeboi was let loose for hours without anybody knowing other than Azazel… He said some major bs and way too many awful things to even count. Was actually offended by being inside Magnus’ glorious body?? like what?? They’re nowhere near comparable… The only thing I was semi-amazed by was his ability to learn magic that fast, like some warlocks take years to learn the most simple thing and there he was pushing out fireballs and putting up wards, but then again he was inside the High Warlock Magnus Bane and was helped by Dot, one of the best Warlocks out there as well.

Magnus: my heart broke… It must’ve been absolutely terrifying to not have anyone believe you at all, not even your lover. He tried to convince Alec, but even bringing up one of their most intimate times didn’t work. He looked absolutely defeated by the time they were about to torture him, and when they did? He was just completely gone. It’s been centuries of having to deal with thinking that it was his fault his mother killed herself. Or how terrible his childhood was after he found out who he was. No wonder we’ll see him putting up his guard all over again next episode.

Alec: as much as he tried to believe Magnus, it seemed like everyone around him was telling him to do the complete opposite. He’s also being put in this vulnerable position, there is so much going on in his life that  I could only imagine what it felt like. With that being said, I also think he should’ve had a bit more faith in Magnus, but then again all he saw was the man he probably hated the most stating things only he and Magnus shared… All offense taken, I don’t think he could do much to help Magnus out to be completely honest. Year he could be there for him, but at the same time, he doesn’t even know about Magnus’ past as much as Simon does. Let’s also not forget about how little he trusts Sebby boi.

Inquisitor Herondale: she is a touch woman. I don’t even know where to start with her, all I could say is that she’s taking her suppressed hatred against Valentine out on the Downworlders, which is nowhere near fair… All these years she’s worked with the Clave, I don’t even know how much Downworlders have died wrongfully under her watch. I could only hope as the story progresses, her relationship with Jace would soften her cold heart a bit and bring her back to what people used to know her now that she’s gotten Valentine and has a grandson.

Jace: Golden boy who? I know know Jace-Peter Pan. He might as well fly if he continues on with those jumps. Do I see him and Sebastian getting along? Yes, but not for very long. Alec’s suspicion would eventually rub off on him, or some big thing would happen that’d cause him to stop trusting him. Him and Clary need to work shit out asap, I know they’re in the middle of the war, but things like this need to get talked about no matter what. One thing tho, he needs to stop giving some of the worse advice out there… every time he tries to “help” Alec, he ends up having him do the complete opposite, on the other hand he looked so ready to plan something out with Magnus for Alec!! And can we please talk about how happy shaken he was to learn that he isn’t a “stray” like he had always believed himself to be??? He actually has someone that’s blood related to him! His hands were shaking so much from happiness and I honestly think he deserves the very best.

Clary: homegirl needs to chill with the whole PDA and what not. It’s not a matter of whether I ship Climon or not, but it’s more of, at the moment everyone seems so busy with everything and then there’s Clary who’s worried about how many kisses she’s gonna receive today… I have to give her credit though for finally getting it together half way through the episode. Although I think it wasn’t right for her to not tell Simon about her and Jace not being siblings, she was kind of right about how worried he’d be, I mean after all, Simon isn’t someone with the best self-esteem out there. All in all, she’s trying, and that’s all I care about to be honest. I was scared for her when Sebastian forced her to face her inner feelings! I was taken aback and I’m not even in the show…

Sebastian: little sneaky snake! He’s acting all innocent and trying to win everyone’s heart, but it’s clearly not working with some /cough/ Alec /cough/. From the moment he stepped into the institute, he seemed suspicious and I think if it wasn’t for everything that’s going on right now, they would’ve kept an eye on him. They were so strict about Clary, why would they let a semi-runaway shadowhunter just walk around the institute like that??? His true colors are showing slowly… I know for sure his story isn’t gonna end this season and would most likely go on for at least half way through season 3. Valentine’s story isn’t even completely done and we’re already on 2B. I’m pretty sure he’s gonna plot something to either free Valentine or kill him himself, he won’t let it go so easily. Back to him and Clary, as I said, he could get very terrifying and that was just him talking to her without flinching… imagine what else he’s capable of doing. Fight me on this, but I’m still very sure he had something to do with her not being able to use her runes ability! and don’t get me started on how he asked her to dinner!!!!!! fuck off!

Izzy: wtf are you doing???? Like how many times do you need to get fucked over to come to your senses??? first Aldertree and now Sebby Boi?? Why? What happened to your brain cells from season 1?? And her constant mistrust in Alec is just pissing me off at this point… like she doesn’t even give him a chance! I know him barging into Hotel Dumorts and pulling her away from Raphael like that wasn’t the best way to do it, but you gotta understand that it’s just his instinct to do so… and now she’s telling him that HE needs to have more faith in her, and he should trust some stranger danger because he couldn’t help her out?? Sorry, but fuck off. To top it all off with the cherry on top, she goes and decides to threaten Raphael’s sister?? his only remaining relative? He did not trust her with that information to have her fucked him over like that… she needs to get her head out of her ass asap. Considering her long-term relationship with downworlders, you’d think she’s better than that…

Simon: oh flower child… NOT! wtf was wrong with him too?? Just agree to go with Izzy and do that shit?? wtf! honestly, you could defend Simon all you want, and I truly love this idiot, but it gets too much at times. Like he is his own person with his own set of thoughts! Why does he let people control his life so much?? And then HE gets pissed at Raphael for attacking him? What’d you think!! And that part where he just stood in the sun and started spitting bullshit at Raph… ouch.

Raphael: this guy could never just mind his own business without someone fucking up his day like that… He has every right to be pissed off at everyone right now. Literally no one is on his side and it’s pissing me off so much! For years upon years he’s been suffering on the inside to accept himself and his destiny to continue on as a downworlder… he wears a fucking cross that clearly burns him just to hurt himself even more. Having his own fledgeling tell him that he was never loved must’ve fucked with his brain even more than usual. Not to mention that now some of his clan members saw Simon as a daylighter, they didn’t even listen to him when he told them to back off… His leadership role is hurt and I’m here hurting for him. So you know what? fuck everyone that’s  hurt him throughout his life. Just let him be ffs.

Luke: if you blink you’d miss him………………….. He literally said like one line throughout the whole episode, wtf is up with that?? I don’t even know what to write about him here… there’s NOTHING!

All in all, I liked this episode, I think they’re improving drastically! and that makes me very happy about it. I’d love for them to to not fuck over so many characters at once, but then again, Shadowhunters, as a show, isn’t meant to be lovey-dovey rom-com… It is literally just a pile of angst. I’m excited for this season, but at the same time I’ve set my hopes to be very low atm… I don’t know what to expect, but meh we’ll just have to see as the season(s) progress :)